For me, I like to think I’m consistent across the board. It’s important to me to treat all people well, regardless of whether they are paying me, I am paying them, or there’s no money involved. Kindness is my own form of currency, and one that matters a great deal to me. I wish that sentiment was shared more often, but it seems everyone has their own way. I also think it’s easier for those of us who have done freelance work ourselves to know what not to do. Most of my clients who started out as freelancers are the ones who pay the fastest and show the most appreciation for the people they hire.

There are a lot of ways to be a good client, mostly by just being a good human, but I think there are a few behaviors that form a strong foundation. Those are related to compensation, communication, respect, appreciation, and the obvious one, paying people on time.

Compensate fairly.

Let’s get the money conversation out of the way first because it does matter. When you hire someone, you’re relying on their talent and expertise to do things you can’t, don’t want to, or don’t have time to do yourself. This comes at a cost, just as you’d expect if someone was hiring you. To be a good client, don’t insult your vendor by balking at reasonable rates or trying to beat them down for a low price. It’s one thing to negotiate, but it’s another to undervalue someone’s services. They say “you get what you pay for” for a reason. You can pick cheap or good, but not both. You won’t settle for less than what you’re worth, so don’t expect someone else to do that for you.

Communicate expectations.

We all know how frustrating it can be when you think you’re on the same page with a client but then it turns out they were hoping for something different. Spare yourself and your vendors that problem by communicating properly from the beginning. Make sure to discuss what you expect in terms of hours, deadlines, and deliverables. If you have a contract, give them time to review it. If they have a contract, read it and ask any questions you may have. Everyone understands that sometimes changes are needed, but don’t be that client that asks for “one little change” 18 times and then act surprised when they bill you for that time. You probably know how it feels to be on the other end of that conversation, so you don’t want to do that to someone else.

Also, remember that communication goes both ways. You expect them to deliver on time, but you need to hold up your end of the deal as well. So if they ask you to clarify something, or they need something from you in order to move forward, don’t make them wait. Yes, you’re busy, but they’re trying to help you. If you need to send them a document, or weigh in on something, you’re only hurting yourself by not responding quickly. Every hour you delay on your end is an hour delayed on their end as well, and there’s only so much time before a deadline. You don’t want them rushing at the last minute, increasing the chance for mistakes. This is such an easy situation to avoid, but it happens all the time. Be a good client and communicate!

Respect boundaries.

Boundaries. You know how I feel about them. You probably feel similarly. It drives you crazy when a client texts you at night or during the weekend or any time outside of your normal working hours. Or when they want to have a bunch of meetings but aren’t productive during those meetings and end up wasting time you could have spent getting the actual work done. Work-life balance is important to you and you make it a priority, so you should understand that the people you hire do the same. If you had that proper communication from the beginning, you should understand each other’s work schedules and work within them.

Emergencies happen, and when you have good relationships, people will be willing to help you through them. But that should never be the norm. And it shouldn’t be because of what I mentioned before – that you waited until the last minute to do your part and now you expect them to use their personal time to get things done. You chose to work with someone because of what they can do for you, so don’t be the client who pushes away good people because you’re difficult to work with.

Express appreciation.

How often do you feel like you put in a ton of effort to do great work for a client and they don’t seem to care at all? And how meaningful is it when one of them takes a minute to send a simple thank you or in some way acknowledge what you’ve done for them? Yes, you’re doing your job and getting paid is the compensation, but doesn’t it matter a whole lot when someone actually tells you how much they appreciate you? I know it does to me. As a vendor, I don’t expect it, but it’s always nice to hear. So when I hire someone to work for me, I make sure to let them know I’m grateful for what they do. This is something that seems to be overlooked everywhere in the job world, whether you’re employed by someone or work for yourself, it seems people are quick to criticize when something is wrong, but they don’t think to praise what’s going right. When you’re the client, it’ll benefit you to make that effort and let people know that what they’re doing matters.

Pay on time.

Yes, we’re back to money, and this should seem obvious, but paying people on time is important. You hired them for a job, and they did that job for you, so don’t make them chase you down for the money they’ve earned. You don’t want to do this in your business, so why would they? And if you want to be an extra good client, pay them right away. Sure, net 30 is standard and acceptable, but how great does it feel when you send an invoice and within a few minutes you receive the confirmation that payment has been made? Remember, especially when you’re hiring freelancers, they often rely on each payment and have to carry an extra burden any time one is late. But regardless of their circumstances, you have a responsibility to pay people for the work they do for you.

One thing that has always driven me crazy is when a client uses the “I’ll pay you when my client pays me” approach. Sadly, this is common in my industry and many others, and it pushes payments back much further than it should, especially when you’re the last person in a chain. For example, a production company might hire me, but they were hired by an agency, who was hired by the end client. So if each one of those is waiting until they get paid, each delay means I’m waiting even longer. Now, if I hire a voice talent and I wait until I get paid, now they’re 4 tiers behind and is it fair for them to have to wait 60 days or 90 days or longer? No. If I hire them, I’m responsible for paying them. They can’t go to my client or the ad agency or Nike’s marketing department and ask for their money. Their deal is with me, not with them, so I need to pay them on time.

Part of running a business means being able to uphold your responsibilities. So if I hire someone, I’m paying them as soon as possible, regardless of when my client pays me. Now, fortunately, I don’t have clients who make me wait like that, but I hear horror stories all the time. I won’t do that to someone else, and hopefully you won’t either. If your financial situation is so tight that you can’t cover your bills, it’s time to work on your budget. If you can’t afford to pay someone, you shouldn’t be hiring them in the first place. There is no excuse for being a client who doesn’t pay on time. No excuse.

Be the client you’d like to have.

Businesses rely on clients. It’s kind of the way it all works. You provide a service and people hire you as a vendor because they need those services. When you need support or additional services, you hire someone else and become the client. When that happens, you can’t automatically forget your etiquette and start doing all the things you hate when your clients do it to you. Treat them like your ideal client treats you. Compensate them fairly, communicate your expectations, respect their boundaries, express your appreciation, and pay them on time. Be the client you’d like to have and you’ll have excellent working relationships with people who will make your business better and your life easier. It’s really that simple.

In general, I wouldn’t set a number of clients as an expectation. I say that because clients vary so much in what they bring to your business. You could have a large number of clients who bring you one job each, a few clients who bring you several projects each, or some combination of the two. Some of that might depend upon what type of work you do, how you market yourself, or how you prioritize your decisions. Your short-term and long-term goals are factors as well. You might be looking for one big account that will offer more stable income, or you might be looking for some smaller jobs to fill out your available time. There is no right or wrong way to do any of it. It all depends on your personal strategy. And that’s what I’d focus on instead of the number.

I never formed a proper written strategy, but I had ideas in my head. I did prepare a business plan in the beginning, but I don’t think I looked at it once after it was completed. I’m pretty sure I found it a couple years ago and it made me laugh, but even now I don’t remember what was in it. I tried to dig it up to reference, but it’s probably on an old backup drive somewhere and I didn’t want to lose any more time searching and getting distracted with other things I haven’t seen in a long time. I’m sure you know how that goes. Squirrel!

When I first started my business, I thought I was going to move away from production entirely to focus on consulting for other small businesses. The fun had fizzled out in the work I was doing, and I felt more drawn to helping others. I had spent so many years learning the best ways to run a business, and the best ways not to, and I saw a trend amongst my friends who owned creative businesses - many needed some guidance but not necessarily a full-time manager. I didn’t want to work full-time for anyone, so it made perfect sense to me. Of course, this was out-of-the-box thinking, because traditional companies assumed management was full-time and in the office back then.

I actually had a marketing agency that had reached out to represent me at that time wanting to promote me as the “part-time CEO.” I thought it had a nice ring to it, but at the same time, I don’t like it when solopreneurs call themselves the CEO of their company. This is only an opinion, and I understand that many don’t agree with me, so I won’t get into it much further, but it feels like an ego thing to me. And I was so burned out on the corporate world, that I didn’t want to try to bring in that kind of structure in terms of a title, and I didn’t want to present my company as anything bigger than what it was. I just wanted to be me.

The first test to my plan came while I still had my regular job. My first client was a referral from a makeup artist friend – it was a photography business with a small staff of other photographers, retouchers, and admins. The owner was also the primary photographer, so it was important that he spent his time out shooting and not doing the day-to-day work at the office. But they were lacking structure and he knew things could be running more efficiently. So I went in, reviewed the systems, talked to the staff individually, and got a sense of what was happening. I made suggestions, helped implement new procedures, and trained the staff. A big part of how I wanted to differentiate myself from a typical consultant was to help in a way that the existing staff could maintain when I was done. So no, that wouldn’t lead to consistent work for me, but the hope was that they would then refer me to someone else who needed similar help. Again, that was considered out of the box. But that photographer is still a client to this day. I took over the bookkeeping so I could keep an eye on the business and make suggestions as needed.

My second client also came along while I was still at my job. One of my favorite production companies to work with was looking for some short-term help for a few months while they were busy. I had planned on reaching out to them anyway, so I jumped on the opportunity. Even though it was doing the production work I wanted to get away from, it was a good chance to build my new business further and let others in the industry know I was available outside of that company. Luckily, by doing that work I quickly realized I didn’t need to veer away from production, I just needed to work with different people. That wasn’t in my plan, but I’m sure glad I listened to it because the bulk of my business remains in production.

And that’s the thing with plans. Whether they’re simple outlines, detailed steps, written down, or all in your head, sometimes you have to veer from them and go with where the work takes you. For me, I ended up somewhere much better than what I could’ve controlled anyway. Plans are fine, but it’s important to be flexible so you don’t get so focused on where you think you should go that you miss a better opportunity that comes along. I believe plans need to be written with a metaphorical pencil, so they can be erased and rewritten as necessary.

That few months turned into a couple years, and that was my first retainer client. We agreed on a monthly rate and an average number of hours per month, and that gave me a good starting point to launch into my business full-time. One thing I remember the owner of that company saying was that it was good to have a mix of low-volume/high-income clients and high-volume/low-income clients. That means you’ll have some clients whose projects have smaller budgets, but they have a lot of them and some who have bigger budgets but not as much work. It’s a perfect way to balance time and income and keep work steady, so that’s something you may want to consider as you continue building your business strategy.

My third client, still while I was working my regular job, was another referral from a production friend. Do you see the pattern here? I’ve mentioned before how powerful network referrals can be, and this is why. It’s how I get the bulk of my business. I hadn’t worked with anyone on the team before, but was offered a 9-month position working as a project manager for the 2016 Presidential Debate. This is another element of strategy, taking on longer duration projects that will keep you busy for a time, but are unlikely to repeat. These can be nice to build some steady income for a bit. That job in particular was a great networking opportunity. Not only have I worked with that client a handful of times over the years, but other people I worked with on the debate became new clients as well.

At that point, I had enough business on my own and my time at the job job had run its course, so that’s when I put my full-time focus into Aardvark Girl. Just in working with those first three, I had a lot of realizations about how I wanted to move forward, and this is still what I do today.

1. Retainers are important for stability. When you work for yourself, income can be unpredictable, so it’s nice to have some kind of foundation where you know you can count on a certain amount each month. My goal now is to make sure I have enough monthly retainer work that my expenses are covered, so even if I didn’t get any other jobs that month, I wouldn’t have to worry about paying any bills or pulling money from another account. It is important when working on retainer, to make sure the deal is outlined and agreed to by both parties. You have to be careful about how many hours you’re committed to and how flexible those hours are throughout the month. I currently have about 12 retainer clients, ranging anywhere from one to 35 hours per month. They keep me busy but still leave plenty of time open for bigger projects.
2. Multiple Revenue Streams. Multiple revenue streams are important for balance. If you only do one type of work, if the industry is affected by something, let’s say a worldwide pandemic, it makes it harder to stay afloat. But if you’re able to make money doing different things, you can cushion some of that blow when it happens. For me, I started by doing production and consulting. But even within the production work, I found multiple options. My experience had been primarily with commercials and video, but working the debate introduced me to a lot of people in live events. I quickly planted one foot in each world because it seemed that if one area was slow, something was going on in the other. That helped a lot. On the consulting side, I also added online business management and bookkeeping for select clients. All of my services are related, so it’s not about being all over the place with different offerings, it’s about sticking to your niche but expanding on what you can do within it.

3. One-Off Jobs. In the production world, I’m often working on projects that are only going to come around once. Each one is different, and it’s often unpredictable when they’re going to come up. These are the jobs I take with the time that isn’t tied up in retainers. They could last a few hours, a few days, or a few weeks. It all depends on that specific client and that particular job. These aren’t necessarily projects I can count on, but I know that I have loyal clients who will continue to hire me when they do come up and that’s why it’s important for me to maintain flexible schedules with everyone. With these jobs, I go for quality over quantity. I’d rather have a small number of loyal clients than a large number of clients I only work with once. With those relationships, you get to know how to best work together so you avoid the learning curve that comes along with a new client. I’m always happy to expand my network, but my hope is always to have lasting partnerships.

4. Long-Term Projects. Working on long-term projects can be great for financial growth. The Debate gave me 9 months of income when I was first starting out. That peace of mind at that time was immeasurable. And that continues. Working on Intervention for nearly a year and a half propelled my business forward in a whole new way. I would be grateful for another season or any similar arrangement any time. Even when you know these jobs have an end date, chances are something new will come along to fill that time when it opens up. I usually can only take on one of these at a time, although occasionally two will overlap. I’m always careful to make sure I don’t take on more than I can handle.

With the combination of monthly retainers, multiple revenue streams, one-off jobs and long-term projects, I never find myself in a place where I’m panicked about not having enough work. If one area is slow, another may be busy, and if nothing else I know I can count on my retainer clients. Not to mention the variety keeps my brain active and prevents me from ever getting bored with my work.

None of that really answers how many clients should you have, because I think that’s different for everyone. The strategy I just outlined is what works for me, balancing different types of clients and jobs to fill the time in a flexible manner. I have a lot of voice actor friends, who get a ton of one-off jobs and only have a few volume accounts, but they are constantly working. If you recall my interview with Aiden McFarland, he talked about how he built his business with just two clients. So it’s not about comparing a number or strategy to what anyone else is doing. It’s about finding what works for you and what supports your overall goals.

For me, I value loyalty, consistency, and quality of relationships more than anything. Income is great, and obviously something I need, but it’s not my primary motivation for what I do. Others place more importance on financial growth, which is perfectly normal for a business owner, and there’s nothing wrong with making money a priority. Some might be chasing recognition or the ability to work with bigger brands or opportunities that will allow them to travel. There’s no right or wrong goal here. The key is to figure out what is important to you, what steps you can take to start moving in that direction, and then make the decisions that will lead you all the way there.

What is the perfect client scenario for you? I’ll be posting about this episode on social and would love for you to add your perspective. Or feel free to start your own conversation and tag me. You can find me @aardvarkgirl across all platforms. Talk to you soon!

Two important skills I talk about a lot are communication and setting boundaries. I call them both skills because there is a nuance to doing them correctly. Everyone can communicate, but it doesn’t mean they can do it well. Same with setting boundaries. When you’re dealing with people every day, whether they are clients or vendors, you have to be able to communicate effectively and set healthy boundaries to protect yourself and make sure those relationships are in a good place. One of the best ways to do that is to keep your negative emotions in check and don’t use them to fuel your interactions. It’s much better to go into discussions from a neutral place, listen to what the other person says, and explain your point of view in a more logical way.

For the record, this applies to non-business relationships as well.

I’ll use a common occurrence to explain what I mean by keeping it logical vs emotional. The client wants you to attend a meeting at their office. You know that it’s a waste of your time to drive all the way there when you can accomplish the same goal in an email or phone call. So how do you respond?

Response 1: Not setting a boundary would mean you go anyway but the whole time you’re thinking about how you don’t want to be there and how much time it’s taking away from everything else you need to do. Chances are your client will pick up on that demeanor and interpret it as a behavioral issue.

Response 2: Reacting emotionally would be sighing at the request or going into a diatribe about how you don’t like in-person meetings and how you have so much to do and it would be an inconvenience to you. Basically making it all about you instead of considering what’s good for them. And since they are paying you, they probably won’t appreciate that.

Response 3: A logical, client-friendly response would be to explain that the time it would take to travel to and from a meeting at their office would take away from the work you need to do for them. Offer the solution of discussing their agenda at the same time, but on the phone or Zoom instead, assuring them that you’ll be able to accomplish the same goals without hindering progress on their project.

With the logical response, you’re making it about the client and helping them see that you are looking out for them. They might not have considered the extra time it would take you because they’re already at the office. Or they might work better in a group setting and assume you’ll find the same value in a situation that will actually slow you down. Or they might just want to see you because they like you, so they think offering the invitation is a nice gesture.

You might even ask them if it’s important for it to be in person, or why they feel it needs to be in person, and see what they say. I find that nearly every time, that’s just what they’re used to and they hadn’t put any other thought into it at all. I usually hear, “Oh, no reason. A call or Zoom is fine.” You never want to assume you know the intention behind a request, or react negatively based on an assumption. It’s always better to just ask.

So, not setting a boundary would mean you’re doing something you don’t want to do, and maybe didn’t even have to do, and you’ll possibly end up resentful for it even though you didn’t try to help yourself. Responding emotionally can make it sound like you don’t care about your client and are just being stubborn. But communicating logically can help you understand where they are coming from, help them understand where you’re coming from, and can often land with a win for everyone.

One mistake I keep seeing, usually with those who are newer to business, but also with some who have been doing it for a while, is this undertone of defensiveness when a client wants them to do something in a different way. It’s that emotional response that comes across almost like a tantrum. “I don’t want to do it this way.” “I can have rules, too.” “I’m allowed to do it like this!”

I see this in business groups on social media all the time. Someone asks for advice and a lot of the comments end up being something like, “It doesn’t matter what your client needs. You can do whatever you want because it’s your business.” And then others jump in and are like, “Yeah, you do what you want and they just need to accept it.” It’s meant to be encouraging, because so many people do struggle with saying no or having conversations where they don’t give in to what the client wants. But it’s not always helpful. It is true that you can do whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. At least not in every situation.

This attitude most likely stems from resentment we have from our old jobs, where we weren’t respected or valued or had to do things a certain way even when we could do it better if the people in charge would just offer a little flexibility or trust. I know all too well how that goes. It’s easy to feel like you have to overcompensate once you’re out on your own. That you need to put your foot down at every turn so no one takes advantage of you again. Once you have that freedom, you don’t want to give it away.  It makes sense.

But sometimes we can be so stubborn about wanting to do things our way that we don’t realize that our way is actually getting in the way. You won’t become successful without compromising sometimes. There must always be some give and take, whether you have the client or are the client. You build those positive relationships by working together to reach your common goals.

The trick is to choose when to stand firm and when to give in. Think about why you don’t want to do something. Is there a logical reason for it or are you just being stubborn?

If you prefer email but you have a client who hates it, what do you gain by refusing to take a phone call? Is it so much of an inconvenience that it’s worth losing business? And I say this as someone who doesn’t like talking on the phone. I communicate my preferences with my clients, but ultimately I need to meet them where they are. I don’t need to be defensive about it because I understand that it isn’t a personal attack on me that our methods are different. My own feelings aside, I prefer email because it’s a written record I can go back and reference any time. But there’s no reason I can’t let my client express his needs on the phone, take notes, and then follow up with an email recapping our discussion. That’s actually a good practice to be in anyway because it ensures you are on the same page and nothing gets misinterpreted or forgotten after the conversation.

If your client needs you to invoice using their platform, but you prefer to use Quickbooks, is that worth arguing about? Many bigger companies have internal payment systems and your choices might be use it or don’t work with them. That’s not the time to be stubborn. I’ve said this many times, but you always want to make it easy for people to pay you. Their intention isn’t to make your life difficult, and it’s not a criticism of the way you do things.

On the other side of that, though, there are times when you do need to push back. If you have a CRM system you use to manage the entire process of a job, something you’ve built through your time and experience because you know it keeps everything running smoothly, that’s something you want to explain rationally to a client who says she doesn’t want to use it. Some people are hesitant to learn new software, but if you can help them see how it will benefit them, they might be more open. In some cases, you may need to let them know that if they are unable to utilize your system, you won’t be able to move forward with them. And these are discussions that should be had before the contract is signed, not after. Manage expectations from the beginning and you’ll avoid more of those uncomfortable conversations later.

No one wants to lose a client over something they feel is silly, but if you can’t perform at your best because someone is unwilling to trust your system, it’s better to walk away. Be confident enough to do that, but still don’t take it personally. That client might not be the right fit for you, and that’s okay. It’s better to know up front than to ignore the red flags and get stuck with a bad client.

It’s important to set boundaries, but do it without being defensive. You’ve earned the right to do things however you see fit, but don’t overlook the benefits of considering your clients’ needs as well. It’s all about building long-term relationships where there is mutual respect. You help them, they help you, everyone is happy and making all kinds of money. That’s the dream, right? You can have that. You’ve already taken the biggest step by starting your own business. So don’t let the past derail you.

Compromising is not failing. Clients wanting to do things differently is rarely a reflection of you or your process, so there’s no need to get defensive about it. Let go of the emotional reaction and respond logically. Be clear, especially with yourself, about why you feel so strongly about something. If it’s a minor inconvenience, you may want to give in. If it’s a massive disruption to your workflow, enforce your boundaries. It’s always your choice how you want to run your business, but if you expect to always get your way, you might hit more hurdles than are necessary. Communicate your needs, listen to your clients, and you’ll find a way to make it work.

What are some ways you give yourself time off? Do you generally go for the big blocks of time, more consistent smaller actions, or somewhere in between? I’d love to hear how you prioritize yourself and make time to take breaks in your business. Post your thoughts on social and tag me, or send me a message to keep this conversation going. You can find me @aardvarkgirl or email info@aardvarkgirl.com. Thank you for listening!

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At the beginning of a new year, it seems most people are focused on being productive. What can I accomplish this year? What changes can I implement to run my business more effectively? It starts with setting new goals and formulating plans for how to achieve them. I think it’s great to do that, not just in January, but throughout the year. I talked about resolutions in episode 34 at the start of 2021. But where I’m at now, and what’s top of mind for me, is the opposite of being more productive. It’s taking more breaks. But how do you do that when YOU are your business?

Being a single-person business has many perks, but it also comes with some challenges. If you need time off for whatever reason, that means your business stops. We don’t really get paid time off or holidays, at least not in the traditional sense. To me, that’s not a big deal because I also don’t have to work 40 hours a week or do anything I don’t want to do, and I can take time whenever I want it without someone else approving. But, when you’re working at a regular job, there are usually other employees there who can handle your work while you’re out. When it’s just you, you don’t always have the luxury of handing it off to someone else.

But it’s necessary to take time off. We can’t work every day without serious repercussions to our mental health. It’s why burnout is so prevalent amongst the self-employed. It’s too easy to get stuck in that that “time is money” mindset and if we’re not working every second, our businesses will fail. And while it is true that if you’re providing a service and don’t necessarily have that passive income, time you’re not working IS time you aren’t earning, that’s not the most important thing. That’s not to say that money isn’t important because we all know it is, but it has to come along with that balance of time, which is equally important.

It doesn’t mean you need to take a 2-week vacation every few months, although if you can do that you absolutely should. Sometimes it just means taking the time where you can find it, even if it’s only an hour a day. It really comes down to time management, which usually isn’t a strength for creatives. But here are some ways you can take time off from your business to take care of yourself.

The obvious solution isn’t always practical, and that’s to outsource. If you have someone else who can handle your tasks, it’s much easier to step away. But many of us are hesitant to do this for a number of reasons. The biggest one for me has always been that it would take me longer to train someone than to just do it myself. It’s true, but that’s also a limiting mindset because it means I’ll always be stuck doing it myself. The other reason for me is that I’ve yet to find anyone I can trust to do what I do at the level it needs to be done for my clients. That’s not meant in an arrogant or condescending way, but there are a lot of nuances to how I do my work and that’s why my clients depend on me. If I were to hand things off to someone else, I’d need to know they’d represent me correctly and that one is tricky. For many others, it feels like paying someone else would be cost-prohibitive and they’d rather just refer the job to someone else.

But in my opinion, the smartest way to outsource is to keep it all under your business. Ideally, you can retain a markup on the labor you outsource. You want to make sure you’re paying fair wages, but it’s standard to mark up your expenses by at least 20% to cover your own admin costs. If you can do that without it being an issue for your client (meaning you don’t have to charge them more), even better. If you typically charge $150/hr for what you do, but can fairly pay someone else $100/hr, you can bill the client the same amount but you keep that extra $50/hr for yourself. It’s probably not going to sustain you long-term, but it keeps a little coming in for you and doesn’t come with the same risks as handing off your client to someone else.

I see that happen more than I’d like to. For example, someone goes on maternity leave and instead of hiring someone to cover her for a few months, she completely turns her client over to a replacement. While I understand that sometimes that’s more convenient because then you can be completely hands-off, you also run the risk of your client not coming back when you do. It’s not always a case of the person you trusted betraying you, but maybe the client found a better rhythm with that person and would like to continue working with them instead. It happens.

There is a lot of debate about whether transparency is necessary when you’re giving tasks to someone else. I believe it is. I think it’s important that if you’re going to be away and letting someone else handle the job, you should tell your client. I don’t think too much detail is necessary, but an introduction via email saying something like, “My team is expanding and I’m excited to have this new person on board. She’ll be helping me on your project so we can give you some extra attention.” Or something positive like that. As always, you want to frame it in a way that’s a benefit to them.

From there, it’s up to you how much involvement you want, but you must communicate expectations with your new vendor. Do you want to be copied on all communications with your client? If there are questions and you’re on vacation, do you want an email or a text or are they empowered to make decisions without you? That’s all going to depend on your personal level of comfort, and if you really need to cut yourself off from work completely to get the rest you need or if checking emails once a day is worthwhile. Only you will know what’s right.

You also want to communicate the same with your client. Let them know which dates you’re going to be out of the office and let them know if they should be interacting with your vendor. You want it to be a seamless transition for them so there aren’t any disruptions to the process they’re already used to. But if you decide it’s better for you to completely unplug and step out of the process entirely, that communication becomes important again so you can hopefully minimize the chances of losing the client when you come back.

I know that’s a lot of talk about outsourcing and you might not be at the point where that’s the right option for you, which is fine. But that means when you want to take a break, you will not be available for client work. So many freelancers are afraid to do that because they feel like if they turn down one job, they won’t be called for the next one. It does happen sometimes, but it’s not healthy to be constantly available to everyone but yourself. For me, it often comes down to simply saying no when an offer comes up. I’m really in tune with myself and what I need, and I trust my intuition with those decisions. If I’m already worn out and feel like another day or week or whatever the case may be will be too much, I say I’m not available. If a client doesn’t call me again because I couldn’t take a job, that’s not the right client for me, and that’s okay. It’s better for me to take that risk than to show up when I’m not going to be at my best.

Not surprisingly, the key here, as in so many situations, is communication. If you’re planning a trip, check in with your clients when you start planning. See what projects they might have coming up and figure out if you can schedule your part in them before you leave and/or when you return. They will appreciate being included in your process and will feel like you are making them a priority. Clients like that. They’ll also appreciate a heads up about when you’ll be unavailable, especially if they’re used to you being around without much notice.

Taking a vacation is one thing, and we should all probably do that a little more often. I know I’m feeling the negative repercussions of not traveling for the last couple of years. I love seeing new places and different parts of the world and this is the longest I’ve been without a proper trip in probably a decade or more. I think it’s so beneficial to get different perspectives, change environments, and really disconnect from your business sometimes so you can come back refreshed and ready to go. But, covid risks aside, I haven’t been able to travel for other reasons as well, so here we are.

There are still other ways to take breaks, even at home. I said before that sometimes you have to take the time when you can find it, and I think that’s really important. It always comes back to balance. So if you know you only have a day or two in between big jobs, make sure to do what you need to do for yourself in those days. I always treat those days similar to a traditional weekend. When I was working in the corporate world, Saturdays were my free days. Sometimes I’d use those to socialize or just veg out on the couch all day. They were screen-free, work-free, do whatever I want to do days. Sundays were my personal productive days, so still no work, but I’d do my food prep and laundry, projects around the house, all that stuff that needed to be done. Then I’d start the week fresh on Monday.

I still follow a pretty similar schedule. I generally don’t work weekends but when that’s unavoidable, I find time during the week where I can. When it’s a full day or more, that’s great. But sometimes it’s only a few hours. It’s all about being intentional with that time and being realistic about how you need to spend it. A lot of it comes down to being organized and planning ahead. If there is work you know you have coming up, but you can get it done early, do that. When I’m really busy, sometimes I’ll work a little longer for a few days so I can free up some time later in the week. I look over what I have to do and make sure I’m making time for what’s important.

If you’re someone who gets wrapped up in what you’re doing and lose track of everything else, you have a different set of challenges. You know who you are, the ones who forget to eat and don’t realize how late it is until your office gets dark because the sun has gone down. For you, scheduling your down time might be the solution. Like, actually put it in your calendar and set alerts so you don’t forget. Again, this could be little bits of time each day. The Apple Watch is nice because it reminds you every hour or so to get up and move around, just for a minute. That’s helpful, but a few minutes walking around the kitchen aren’t going to prevent you from overdoing it. Use your calendar to your benefit and schedule time for yourself just as you would time for a client. Commit to yourself in the same way and it can make a huge difference.

I think the most important time to schedule is your workout. Exercise is one of the best things you can do for your physical and mental health, both of which contribute to running a healthy business by yourself. The right time depends on you. I’ve gone back and forth between morning and evening. For a while, I preferred to go to my pilates classes at 5pm because it gave me a good time stop working and was a nice delineation between my workday and my personal time. That’s also when the classes I wanted were available. But when covid came around and I had to shift to home workouts, and I started getting really busy, I reverted back to mornings. In my line of work, as I’m sure it is with you, every day can be unpredictable. I might start off the day with one plan, but other things come up and I have to pivot and figure it out as I go. Those disruptions usually don’t happen too early in the morning, so I like to get my workouts in at the start of the day to minimize the chance of not getting around to it later because something came up, or I’m tired, or I just don’t feel like it. If it’s a particularly busy day, I might only do 30 minutes, or sometimes even less, but it’s important to me to do something.

Exercise aside, it’s good to make time for other self-care, too. Maybe it’s going for a massage or a facial or pedicure or something that helps you feel good. Maybe it’s going to the batting cages or one of those places where you get to smash old stuff to let out some aggression. Whatever it is that you need, commit to yourself for that time and trust that nothing is going to irreparably fall apart while you’re gone. If something happens, you can tend to it when you’re done, but at least you’ll be starting from a healthier place. Every little bit of “me time” helps. It’s so easy to get stuck in that feeling of “I can’t do anything because I have too much work to do,” but if you never make the time for yourself, it’s only going to get worse.

I’ll let you in on a little secret here. I rarely work 40 hours or more in a week. There have been some stretches of time in the last few months where I’m close to that and occasionally more, but most of the time, I don’t take on that much. I’m not interested in working myself to death. From the time I was a teenager, I said I was working hard then so I wouldn’t have to when I got older. And I’m not sure where 40 lies in the grand scheme of older, but I think it’s the perfect time to stop working so much. My goal as a business owner has always been to make more and work less. I take no pride in busyness, as you’ve probably heard me say a number of times at this point.

All of my years of experience have brought me to a place where I am efficient with my time and can get a lot done more quickly without sacrificing quality. That’s why my rates are where they are and why I maintain control of my schedule – I take the jobs I want and am not afraid to say no when I just don’t have the time or energy to do something. I work hard and am proud of that, but I won’t work to the detriment of my health. Nothing is that important.

When you own your own business and you ARE your own business, taking time off can feel overwhelmingly impossible. But you owe it to yourself to prioritize your own well-being and taking breaks is a big part of that. Whether it’s a few weeks away to the exotic country of your dreams, an hour in the morning to do your favorite activity, meeting a good friend for lunch and laughs, a quick pause to listen to some music and get away from the screen, 30 minutes at the end of the day to meditate, or whatever you need, the time away from work is good for you. If you’re constantly in a place where you feel you can’t stop, it might be time to outsource or even hire an employee. If that doesn’t seem like the right move for you, just be mindful with the time you have. Find ways to regularly build some down time into your schedule and get away from work when you can.

And most importantly, never feel guilty for taking a break. Honoring yourself and what you need is an important strength, especially when you’re self-employed. The work will always be there, but you’re no good to anyone if you’re completely burned out. Make yourself a priority and take that time off when you need it because when you are your business, taking care of yourself is a huge part of being successful in that business.

But now here we are at the end of the year and it’s finally time. The last big job ended mid-December and I don’t have any major obligations until February. My plan is to take at least a month off to rest, catch up on personal things, and mentally prepare myself for what’s to come. I do fully intend to come back to weekly podcasts and to start interviewing again, but hopefully you understand why I need a little time off and don’t forget about me while I’m gone.

But I wanted to at least say hello, wish you all happy holidays, and do a quick recap of 2021 to figure out how I got here in the first place.

Usually, the end of December into the beginning of January is slow. By December, everyone has wrapped up projects for the year and gone into holiday mode. January budgets haven’t been allocated yet and it takes a little time to get back into the swing of things. I’ve always enjoyed that time, especially since I started working for myself, because it’s a restful way to end one year and start the next.

This year, that didn’t really happen. All of January and the first week of February was spent wrapping up season 22 of Intervention, which was 34 consecutive weeks of intense work for me that started in June of 2020. Fortunately, I got a few weeks off in February but jumped straight into season 23 in the beginning of March, which was another 30 consecutive weeks that ended October 1st. So the two seasons were 64 of 68 weeks from mid-2020 through October 2021, where each week was at least 5 working days and often bled into the weekends because of when the shoots were scheduled.

Working on a series full-time like that is plenty enough to warrant a long break. But that wasn’t all I was doing.

In April, there was the Skechers spring marketing video and the Mercedes Tony Hawk commercial. We also started working on the new website and booking platform for The Voice Actors Studio, which took 6 months of planning and regular meetings and testing before launching in September, followed by all the troubleshooting and refining that’s still ongoing.

In May, we started preproduction for Blue Origin’s First Human Flight in July, which took me into the field for the first time since March of 2020. Showing the world the first successful launch of humans into space was pretty special.

August brought along the Traditional Medicinals shoot. September was the launch of the TVAS website AND when the craziest episode of Intervention was at its most chaotic AND that bled right into the 2nd Human Flight AND the Skechers fall marketing video. That was around the time I started really needing a break.

I thought November might give me that rest, but we went straight into planning for the 3rd human flight, which happened in early December.

On top of all of this, I have a handful of monthly retainer clients where I’m working various hours on things like consulting, managing, and bookkeeping. I produced 49 podcast episodes, taught 8 3-hour workshops, and found a way to squeeze in 6 new coaching clients.

So yeah. That was 2021 for me. It’s been such a fantastic year for work and I do not take that for granted. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned about navigating the roller coaster of self-employment, it’s that you take advantage of slow time when you have it. So that’s what I’m doing now. I went for a 90-minute massage, and intend to get at least a few more. I’m catching up on projects around the house. I’m spending a lot of time not doing much at all, which makes my cats happy. The typical holiday lull has been back to normal, too, which has been nice. It makes me smile every time I check my email and nothing new has come through any of my many accounts. I still have some work to do, but I’m limiting that to a few hours a day, if even that. I’m just taking the time to breathe and enjoy the quiet.

I hope you are doing well and enjoying some down time or something else that’s important to you. Thanks for hanging in there with me while I take this much needed break. In the meantime, if there are topics you’d like to hear about, guests you’d like me to interview, or if you have any other suggestions, please reach out. You can email info@aardvarkgirl.com or DM me on social @aardvarkgirl. I’ll talk to you again in the new year.

We often overuse words like “special” and “amazing” and “miracle,” but Elsha was all of these things. Despite dealing with the daily challenges of living with severe muscular dystrophy, she was happy, positive, and peaceful. At that point, she couldn’t move any part of her body besides her eyes, but those eyes were full of light. It’s impossible to explain her beauty and grace with words, but those who were lucky enough to be in her presence know exactly what I mean. She instantly made you feel at ease around her with a kindness and the best laugh I’ve ever heard.

Her parents, Joel and Shanna, are equally kind and wonderful human beings. They showed us around the house and her “Blue Room,” which was full of U2 goodies and race medals. Oh yeah, she was huge in the local running community even though she wasn’t able to actually run herself. People would be her legs, pushing her through 5Ks, 10Ks, half marathons, marathons, and even a few triathlons. Racing allowed her to feel a freedom she hadn’t known before and it became one of her favorite activities.

Elsha did a lot of things. Besides running and attending U2 concerts when she could, she was an artist. She drew and painted using Photoshop and a head mouse. She created and sold her “eArt” Christmas cards around the world and used the proceeds to help orphans and disadvantaged children in Africa and South America. Because, of course, she had a giant heart and giving spirit. She sponsored a young boy in Kenya and paid for his schooling. She donated toys to orphanages. She felt that she didn’t really need the money and was passionate about helping others. That’s just who she was.

What does any of this have to do with being self-employed? The way Elsha lived is full of lessons for anyone who wants a better life and to be a better person. These lessons can easily be applied to who you are, how you run your business, and the quality of your interactions with others. She had a way of putting things in perspective, inspiring others, and getting things done. She was an inspiration to so many people, and this episode is my way of sharing her brilliance with you.

Lesson #1: Challenges Don’t Define You.

Even though she had some obvious challenges, Elsha never let them define her. She didn’t feel sorry for herself or like she had any limitations at all. She lived a life full of love and joy and embraced her differences rather than letting them hold her back. When she was met with a new obstacle, she figured out how to get through it. And she didn’t want anyone else feeling sorry for her either. Perhaps that’s why she was so good at making other people feel comfortable around her. She made it clear that while she may be smaller than most, she was no less extraordinary.

Running a business isn’t always easy, and we all face challenges at times. Being successful doesn’t mean being perfect. It’s about how we react in those imperfect situations. Do we let them defeat us or empower us? Do we give up or do we learn from them? Do we let fear stop us or motivate us to keep going? I don’t know if it’s tenacity or stubbornness or just an unwillingness to accept anything less, but Elsha and I had that attitude in common. Every problem has a solution, but sometimes we have to be creative to find it. Fewer things are more rewarding than overcoming what seemed like an impossible challenge at the time, so embrace the opportunities when they’re presented.

Lesson #2: I can do anything you can do. I just need some help doing it.

I mentioned that Elsha’s parents are also lovely people. The love they felt for their daughter was unyielding and always apparent. They carried her everywhere, fed her using syringes, and did whatever they could to contribute to all those goals she set for herself. I don’t know that the word “can’t” was even in her vocabulary when it came to her abilities. She told her mom, “I can do anything you can do. I just need some help doing it.” It might be a simple statement, but it’s a profound sentiment. Think about that. I can do anything. I just need some help.

A lot of us have a hard time asking for help, myself included, and I’m not really sure why. For me, I’ve always had this inherent need to be independent and capable of doing everything on my own. It’s not about anyone else, it’s just the way I’m wired. As I get older, I feel like I’ve already proven to myself what I needed to, and it’s much easier to accept help now. Where I used to resist, I now embrace. Like, if you want to move that heavy thing for me, you go ahead and do that and I will be happy, even if I’m capable of moving it myself. But for some it’s still a struggle, and one that’s kind of silly if you think about it.

Why do we feel the need to do so much on our own? When we’re self-employed, our business is often a reflection of us in many ways. But it doesn’t take anything away from our accomplishments if we have some assistance along the way. Whether it’s financial, physical, mental, or a combination of all of it, support is not a bad thing. We are stronger when we help each other. And I think success is more enjoyable when you can share it with others. Elsha’s life was enriched by all of the people who helped her, and those she helped in return.

Lesson #3: Find a Way to Do What You Love

Now, one thing you should know about Elsha is that she had this way of getting what she wanted. And she did that by being persistent and not accepting anything less. She was small but mighty in her convictions and determination. And people loved her so much they would do anything to make her happy. I think back to 2018, U2 came to to Vegas and that was close enough for Elsha to travel. I mentioned she was a big fan, but they were also fans of her. They would often stop to talk to her or bring her backstage before shows. In her last week, they reached out to her to make sure they knew she was more than the “biggest little U2 fan.” She meant as much to them as they did to her. The band had a way of taking care of her at their shows. That first night in Vegas, they made sure there was a platform in the VIP area that would lift her up high enough to see. After that show, they asked how it worked out, and she told them it could’ve been higher. When she arrived the following night, they had raised the platform so she could see better. She always got her way.

So as she got older and lost the ability to use her limbs, she didn’t give up on her creativity or passion for art. She adapted. She learned how to use that head mouse, which she controlled with her eyes, to keep doing what she loved. She didn’t give up. She adapted. It was too important in her life to let go of it, so she found a way.

Most of us work for ourselves because it’s the easiest way to ensure we’re doing what we love to do. Some people find that working for others, too, which is also fine. Whatever it is that fulfills us is worth chasing. Life is too short to settle for a job or career or relationship or anything that is less than what we truly want. That doesn’t mean it’s easy or doesn’t take a lot of hard work, but there’s no excuse for settling or losing your purpose just because it’s hard. Find a way to do what you love so you can enjoy the life you deserve.

Lesson #4: There Is No Failure Here Sweetheart, Just When You Quit.

One of Elsha’s favorite mottos came from a lyric in the U2 song “Miracle Drug”: “There is no failure here sweetheart, just when you quit.” She had this written above her door so she could read it every day, and it’s an idea she never let go of. There is no failure unless you quit. Elsha never quit. As you can tell from everything else I’ve said, she never gave up. Ever. She faced every challenge with optimism and worked hard for the things she wanted because they were important.

Failure is such a common fear and one that prevents people from even trying sometimes. But if we think about it in these terms, that the only way to fail is to give up, we can move beyond that fear. Every “failure” is just an opportunity to learn something new, and then we can try again from a new perspective or place of understanding and maybe have a different outcome. And if not? Then we try again and learn again and continue the cycle until we figure it out. That’s how life works. That’s how business works. The only way to fail is to stop trying. So the key to success is to just keep going.

Lesson #5: Every Day is a Gift.

Elsha’s passing is a huge loss, but at the same time, her life was such an incredible gift. Her parents were told she’d probably live 5 years, but she was 38 when she passed. How’s that for defying odds? And I think knowing that contributed to her spirit. She didn’t live afraid. She lived gratefully. She appreciated life and was determined to make the most of every bonus day she was given. And I hope that brings some peace to her family and friends. Not to mitigate the understandable sadness, but to remember that while it seems her life was cut too short, she also got 33 extra years on this planet. That’s pretty incredible.

I wonder if that perspective contributed to Elsha’s generosity, because giving back was a huge part of her life as well. I mentioned the charities she supported, but she was also a kind and thoughtful friend. She loved sending gifts to people, not just for special occasions, but just because. As I look around my house, I see all kinds of reminders of that generosity. I would often open the mail and find an unexpected gift from her, and I know plenty of others had that same experience. It’s just who she was.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the minutiae of daily life and take things for granted. We’re all guilty of it. But it is possible to shift our mindsets to be more positive. Like everything else, it takes some hard work, but the results are worthwhile. If you choose not to focus on what you don’t have, but instead appreciate what you do have, your whole life can change. I don’t say that to be dramatic, but I know it from experience. Life is easier when we’re happy, and we’re happier when we’re grateful, kind, and thoughtful. If that’s how we live our lives, and that’s how we run our businesses, we will be better off.

“We'll shine like stars in the summer night. We'll shine like stars over winter skies. One heart, one hope, one love.” - Bono

It’s been incredible to see all the posts on social from Elsha’s friends and family and all those communities who were so honored to have her in their lives. She was loved by and an inspiration to so many. I hope people continue to hear her story and get to know who she was even though she’s no longer physically with us. So thank you for listening. It’s always sad to lose someone, but Elsha wouldn’t want any sorrow. Instead, I choose to focus on how grateful I am to have had her in my life at all. She will be missed, but she’ll always have a place in my heart. And just like the stars in the sky, her light will continue to shine for those of us still on earth.

I suppose that’s where some people object. There’s this idea that you have to be cutthroat and walk all over others to progress. And in some cases, I’m sure that happens. I’ve seen it in the corporate world, where the bullies have the most power and from the outside it might seem like they’re living the good life, but those people aren’t always respected or liked. And not that we should care if other people like us, but it’s hard to have any kind of meaningful connections if you’re not a nice person. And meaningful connections are important in business.

Kindness has never held me back in my career. If anything, it propelled it forward, especially after I got away from that awful corporate world. I think it’s why so many people are driven towards self-employment these days. We want to work with people we like, people who are nice. People who are easy to work with. One of the biggest perks about working for yourself is that you don’t have to work with anyone you don’t want to. I weeded out those negative personality types very quickly after starting my company. I like all of my clients, and every one of them is kind.

That’s not to say that any human can be nice every second of the day, or that everyone should be walking around singing while cartoon characters circle around them. I’m envisioning that scene from (500) Days of Summer where Joseph Gordon-Levitt is dancing to “You Make My Dreams” by Hall & Oates. While it’s great when you feel that way, that isn’t how life works all the time. You can’t always choose what happens to you, but you can choose how to react.

Many people react emotionally. They raise their voices and yell and throw tantrums. They talk down to people when they’re upset and sometimes say harsh things that hurt feelings. Is that strength? No. Anyone can do that. Strength comes from being kind in those moments. It’s easy to get triggered and fly off the handle. Staying calm and being nice in those moments is a superpower. You will have a much better time in life, and in business, if you can do that. The strength comes from truly listening, giving others the opportunity to speak their mind and be heard, and then responding in a respectful manner. You can be firm. You can stay true to your convictions and push back, but you can do it with grace and have much better results.

I remember being on a job once where a few people on the crew were unhappy about the meal options provided by the client. Now from my point of view, the fact that multiple options were available was nice. That doesn’t always happen on set. As a vegetarian, I can’t even count how many times I haven’t been able to eat what’s provided at all. I’ve never once gotten mad about it or yelled at someone when it happened. But in this case, these guys formed a mini mob to make demands and threaten to walk off of the job if they didn’t get some better food. I wish I was kidding. But they were willing to blow up the whole thing because they didn’t approve of the meals or craft services, which, by the way, weren’t even our responsibility. Our client provided all of that so it was out of our control.

But, in response, I stayed calm. I spoke up. I was direct. I asked them firmly to stop raising their voices and talking over me. I pointed out that I gave them the opportunity to speak and would appreciate the same respect in return. I let them know I understood their concerns and that their feelings were valid, and I’d see if there was anything we could do to improve the situation for the following day. I worked with my team to find a solution and moved on. I was kind even to those who weren’t kind to me. Is that weakness? Definitely not. Weak would be giving into emotion and yelling back. Plus, I’m the one who has been brought back for these projects every time. The guys who threw the fit? That was the last one for them. Seems like another win for kindness to me.

In the last episode, I talked about the idea that if you don’t ask, you don’t get. But when you’re asking for something, being nice about it increases your odds significantly. I don’t know anyone who thinks, “Oh yeah, that one guy is a real jerk. I can’t wait to work with him again” unless it’s thought in complete sarcasm. But if you have a good experience, you want to work with those people again, right? Do you recall a time when you worked with a mean person and thought it was a great time? I’m guessing it doesn’t happen often. The people you have the best time with are usually nice. So kindness as a business skill means repeat clients, which is what we usually want.

Think about conversations you’ve had that have left you feeling good, and ones that had the opposite effect. I don’t want to be repetitive, but you get the point. People want to work with people they like, and people tend to like nice people. How you talk to people matters.

If your client owes you money and the invoice is past due, calling and yelling at them isn’t going to help. But if you send a polite email checking on the status, they’re more likely to look into it and see what they can do. You’re not wrong for being upset that payment is late, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to yell at someone else about it. I don’t know how many times I’ve fielded calls from angry vendors even though I had nothing to do with making payments.

I remember a producer calling me at my old company, threatening to tell a news anchor that the company didn’t pay on time. I was the wrong person to be having this conversation with, but I listened. I understood his frustration and kindly tried to explain what I knew about the situation, but he didn’t want to hear it. I passed along the information to my accounting department and then made a note to never hire him again. It’s not because he was upset about the invoice being past due, it was about his demeanor and how he handled the situation. If he would’ve been nice, I would’ve been more likely to go out of my way to see what I could do to expedite his payment. Instead, he just talked himself out of future work. People are more willing to help people who are nice to them than those who aren’t. That seems pretty obvious, right?

If you’re in charge of a crew and are constantly yelling at or belittling them, they aren’t going to give you their best work, and that will negatively affect you and your project. It’s hard to care about something when you’re getting emotionally beat up while doing it, and the stress of that type of environment leads to mistakes. But if you’re considerate and take the time to acknowledge that you appreciate what they’re doing, they’re going to do better for you. They’ll want to work with you on future projects and that’s how you can build some strong working relationships.

If you disagree with anything I’ve said and are one of those people who thinks kindness is weakness, let me know. I’d love to hear why you feel that way and if that means you prefer to work with unkind people. I truly believe there is more strength in being rational, absorbing information objectively, responding with compassion, and giving people the benefit of the doubt. If you agree, I want to hear about that too. Feel free to flood my inbox with stories of positivity and how being kind has helped you in your business. Help me dispel this outdated notion that kindness equals weakness. It’s just silly and we know better.

Over the course of that year, he became somewhat of a trusted advisor at times. And one idea he made clear, and one Dave and I still reference often, is a simple thought: If you don’t ask, you don’t get. It’s an obvious sentiment, but one that seems to be overlooked. If you want something, ask for it. Otherwise, how are people supposed to know?

This comes into play so often in business. Someone has been working hard and wants a raise but doesn’t ask for it. Another is hoping to get promoted to a position that has recently become available but doesn’t tell anyone she’s interested. A new company wants a big client but doesn’t reach out because they don’t think they can get it yet. A podcaster wants big name guests but assumes his show is too small to get a yes so he never tries.

Whether they don’t want to ruffle feathers, are afraid of rejection, or worry that if they ask for something and it isn’t well received, they’ll lose what they already have and end up worse off than before, there are many reasons why people talk themselves out of going after what they want. But if you don’t ask, you don’t get.

I remember in 2004, my boss at the time got annoyed because I couldn’t read his mind. He actually said that. “The girl before you could read my mind. I need you to do that.” Umm. Okay. I can do a lot of things, but unfortunately that’s not one of them. He probably shouldn’t have let her go if that’s what was going on. But he did what so many people do. Instead of communicating and being direct, he expected things to happen on their own. Like he could think it and it would somehow come to fruition. Rarely does that mindset pay off.

It’s usually fear-driven, or that sneaky imposter syndrome creeping in telling them they can’t get or don’t deserve what they want.

So how do you build up the courage to ask for it? Keeping in line with my usual advice, let’s take the emotion out of it and think about the situation logically. First, what happens if you don’t ask? You probably won’t get it. So by not asking, you’re actually taking the bigger risk because that means you might not move forward, might not get that thing or experience that’s going to make your life better, or who knows what else.

Then, realistically, what’s the worst that can happen if you ask? They say no. Okay, so you can accept that and move on, or in some cases figure out a better approach to ask again. Maybe your feelings will get hurt, or you’ll be disappointed, but isn’t that better than being constantly frustrated? Maybe that no will show you that it’s not the right job, client, or project for you after all, because the right one would align with your goals. In any case, if it’s a definitive no, that gives you information you need to move on, change direction, or set a new goal. In my opinion, working towards something new is always way better than wondering what if.

Through that lens, hopefully it’s a little less scary already. If you ask and don’t get, then you have more information to help you decide what to do next. Even if it’s not what you initially wanted, maybe your new direction will be better. Trust in timing. Everything works out when it’s supposed to. It might not always feel like it will at the time, but one closed door might be leading you towards a better open one. Yes, I am still and will always be an eternal optimist.

How do you get the confidence to ask? Nerves are normal. Doubts are normal. Hesitation is normal. But you have to push yourself through that. Preparedness is the biggest solution. Before you ask, you’ve done your research. You know what you want and why. You know why it’s the right thing for you, and hopefully why it’s good for the person you’re asking, too. You’ll go into the conversation armed with what you need.

If it’s a job interview, you know your accomplishments and why you’re a good candidate. Tell them why you connect with the company and what you can offer them so it’s not one-sided. If you’re asking for a promotion, let them know what you’ve accomplished in your current role, how you could improve the company in the new role, and why you’re the best fit. If you’re going after that big-name brand as a new client, be ready to explain your vision for them and what benefits they’ll have with you that they might not get from a bigger agency. If you want that well-known podcast guest, approach them from the point of why you connect with them and what parts of their story you want to share with your audience.

When you’re asking or pitching, be careful of your word choices, too. This is obviously easier in email when you have time to edit, but is important in verbal conversations, too. You don’t want to start by telling them why they should say no. Don’t give them excuses that aren’t yours to give. For example, I remember my friend Jaimee, a previous guest on this podcast, saying people sent her emails all the time that started with, “I know you’re busy, but…” as if they were being a nuisance for even reaching out. People say this to me all the time and I have the same internal reaction. Shouldn’t it be for me to decide if I’m too busy to answer or meet or whatever they’re asking?

If you want to get that big client or guest, don’t apologize for having a small company or audience. Saying things like, “I’m sure you have bigger opportunities to consider, but…” or “You probably look for shows with more reach, but…” diminishes your chances before they even get a chance to form their own opinion about you. It’s something I see happening all the time. When you do that, you’re putting your insecurities on display and talking yourself out of the opportunity you want. Don’t give them reasons to doubt you. They might not have cared or even thought about any of that until you brought it up. Get out of your own way.

Asking doesn’t mean you’ll automatically get a yes, but it does mean you’ll get an answer. Sometimes that answer is no or not right now, and that’s okay. What matters is that you put yourself out there confidently and took a chance. I don’t know about you, but to me that always feels way better than stewing in my head about what could be.

How did we get Bono to do an interview for our film? We asked him. How did we get U2 to license 32 songs for our non-existent budget? We asked them. How do I get the rate I need and the projects I want? I ask for them. It doesn’t mean I get everything I want, but it means I don’t have any regrets. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. It’s that simple. Thank you, Aaron Govern, for the great advice. I’m glad I got to know you.

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If you have any questions, send them my way. You can always reach me at info@aardvarkgirl.com or on social @aardvarkgirl. This podcast is for you, so if there is a topic that would be helpful to you, let me know. I always look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for listening!

You’ve probably heard me say before that you always want to keep the people paying you happy. Whether it’s a small business or a big corporation, each accounting department is going to have its own system and set of rules. This is the one time when I don’t think you should assert your boundaries. Whatever they need from you, give it to them. If it means you have to add a couple extra bits of information to your invoice, who cares? If they want to do direct deposit, let them. Any push back on your part flags you as difficult and could cause delayed payments for a number of reasons.

That being said, the most important things to keep in mind is being timely, being detailed, and being considerate.

Timeliness is important for obvious reasons. The sooner you invoice, the sooner you should get paid. I say should, because we all know that not all companies pay on time, but you never want the cause of the delay. Standard payment terms are typically net 30, meaning you get paid within 30 days from receipt of the invoice. That doesn’t mean 30 days from the date of the job or completed work. That’s 30 days from the time they receive your invoice. If you take 2 weeks to get around to sending it, don’t expect that they’re going to turn around payment in 2 weeks. No. That 30-day clock starts the day they have everything they need from you. So get your invoice in quickly.

Also, you might not be in a rush for payment for whatever reason, but if the company is trying to close out the job, waiting for your invoice can be a huge hassle for them. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to chase down an invoice, sometimes for weeks. It baffles me every time. I’m trying to give you money, dude. Let me pay you! I get that you’re busy and invoicing isn’t your favorite thing to do, but there are other people who can’t do their jobs until you do it, so stay on their good side and be prompt. Not so prompt that you’re invoicing before a job is done, because that can rub people the wrong way, too, but within a day or two is usually greatly appreciated.

Details are crucial when it comes to invoicing. Make sure all the information they need is there. A good way to know what they need is to ask them. After you’ve done all the negotiation and committed to a project, but before it actually starts, ask what information they need on the invoice and to whom it should be sent. They might need a specific job name, job number or PO referenced, so get that information early. If you send it to the wrong person, it could cause delays. If you reach out after the job and have to wait for them to get back to you, it could cause delays. We don’t want delays.

Double check your information, too. Make sure the line items are correct and the math adds up. If you’re using accounting software like Quickbooks, it’ll do the math for you, but you still want to be sure everything is accurate. If you’re using a Word template or something like that, there is so much room for user error. I am constantly finding invoices that don’t add up, have information from a completely different job, and other nonsense that wastes everyone’s time. And it doesn’t make you look good if they have to reach out and ask you to correct something.

A good way to keep an accounting department happy is to send all of your docs in one email with a clear subject title. Send your invoice and any receipts for reimbursement. If you haven’t worked with them before, or in the current year, send them a W9. Include your payment options. Or, if they already stipulated how they pay, send the information they requested. Give them everything they need at once and it’ll make their lives easier. And the money people do remember who makes their lives easier, and who doesn’t. Maybe you don’t care about them, but giving them what they need up front means fewer emails for you and often sooner payment, so that makes your life easier too.

Speaking of details and making lives easier, make sure to fully read what they send you. Don’t ask a question that’s already been answered because you didn’t bother reading what someone took the time to send you. Be more respectful than that. I say this as someone who sent all of the payment information in a deal memo, plus a separate email specifically about invoicing, and I’d say at least half emailed to the wrong address, didn’t include everything, or both. It creates extra work for me, which costs the client more money, and it’s extra work for them because now they have to deal with the back and forth that could’ve easily been prevented. I don’t take it personally, and I do what I can to help them, but I tend to be nicer than most and go out of my way more than I would expect someone else to.

My last point about details should be obvious, but with what I’ve seen lately it might not be. Make sure to separate your line items in a way that makes sense. If you worked 10 days at the same rate, you don’t need 10 line items, but you should call out the dates in the line item so it’s clear. Also, keep separate lines for separate services. Your labor and per diem rate shouldn’t be on one line item. Your labor is taxed, but per diem is not. If you put them together, you’re putting it on the accounting person to do the work for you and separate everything out. I will do that. Many will not. They’ll just put it in as you sent it and then you get taxed on something you shouldn’t.

Be mindful of accounting categories, which you should have a basic understanding of, especially if you do your own bookkeeping or use accounting software to categorize your expenses. If you’re asking for reimbursements for gas and office supplies, you know those are different, so don’t lump them together on your invoice and make the accounting person add up the receipts. You won’t always know the extent to how they categorize things, but you can use common sense. Also, don’t submit for a reimbursement without including the receipt. Some people may be more lax with this, but just like you should have receipts for all of your expenses, your client needs those from you as well. They don’t want issues with the IRS any more than you do.

And this is a bonus tip just because I think it’s important. If you have given a discount on the project, make sure to invoice for your full rate and then add the discount as a separate line item. This is a record of what happened, so if they hire you again and look to see what you billed before, it’s clear that you gave them a deal. If you don’t call it out separately, they might just think it’s your normal rate. It might be someone else you’re dealing with who doesn’t know the conversations you had with the other person. It’s a nice way to protect yourself and remind them that you did them a favor last time but that’s not to be expected every time.

Most of what I just said also applies to being considerate, which is how you should always be. I should be able to leave it at that, but I’ll explain further. Taking the time to do everything right the first time helps the person on the other side do their job better. They don’t want to have to chase you down for everything they need any more than you want to spend more time on that project when you’ve already moved on. Make it easy for everyone.

When you’re talking to the accounting people, even if your payment is past due, be polite. You’re not going to get anywhere by being aggressive or throwing a tantrum. That doesn’t make them want to help you. You have every right to want your money and be frustrated that it’s not getting to you on time, but the person on the phone probably can’t do anything about that. But if you’re nice, they’ll be more willing to talk to the person who can and try to help you.

If your address or other company information has changed, notify them by sending a new W9. Don’t just change the address on your invoice and expect them to notice. Once you’re in the system, they probably aren’t reviewing your contact info to see if anything is new. It’s your responsibility to tell them. I see this happen a lot so I thought it was worth mentioning.

Lastly, consider your payment options, especially when it comes to credit cards. Many don’t like accepting credit cards because of the fees. You typically lose about 3% of the total. I don’t like fees either. They are tax deductible, but I like to have all of what I earned. That being said, I do know that accepting credit cards tends to get you paid faster. I have seen this personally and have talked about it with other friends and clients and it seems to consistently be the case.

The old school method of writing checks takes time and extra effort. This was the case before, but has become especially true since COVID allowed more people to work from home. Companies don’t always have an accounting person physically in the office to print a check and then get someone, who also might not be in the office, to sign it. Then get an envelope and a stamp and put it in the mail. It’s a bit archaic. But if you give them a digital option, either ACH or credit card, they just have to enter some details in your system and be on their way. It’s much simpler. Also, in bigger companies, the person you’re working with directly may have an allowance of sorts and can approve up to a certain amount if paying on a company card. But writing a check takes many layers of approval, which causes those delays we’re trying to avoid. Something to think about – are the fees worth getting paid faster? Your call.

If you’re still with me, thanks for listening. I know invoicing isn’t a fun topic, but it’s a regular part of running a business and can’t really be avoided. But having been on the receiving end for so long, I see all these simple errors that get in the way and I don’t like it. So do yourself a favor and stay on top of your invoicing. Be prompt, be detailed, be considerate, make it easy to get paid and enjoy the money you worked so hard to earn.

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No. Two letters. One simple word. But for some reason, it carries a lot of weight. Some are afraid to say it. Many can’t handle hearing it. It’s a word that can change your entire life, good or bad. There’s no getting away from it though. So how can we build a better relationship with “no?” We have to get better at saying it and hearing it.

Saying no is a necessary skill to have when you’re running a business. Really, it’s a necessary skill to have as a human living your life. We can’t do everything everyone asks us to do. It’s not healthy. But keeping this in the context of work, we have to set boundaries. We have to say things like, “No, I don’t work on weekends” and “No, I’m not available for this project” and “No, I can’t attend that meeting next week.”

I hear way too often that people feel like they must be available 24 hours a day, every day, and that’s part of running a business. No! Ever heard of business hours? Or business days? Those are real things. You are running a real business. There will always be times when you’ll want to make exceptions for your good clients and work outside of those hours. But if it’s not urgent, and it’s not an emergency, it can wait. If you lose a client because you’re not willing to be available whenever they might need you, is that really a client you want to have? I wouldn’t. My clients don’t want to work evenings and weekends if they don’t have to, so they understand that I don’t either. It’s never been an issue.

And do you know what I don’t say when I say no? Or when I don’t respond until my next office hours? I don’t say I’m sorry, unless I actually am. I want to stress here that it’s not necessary to apologize for setting and maintaining proper boundaries with your clients. That’s an emotional response and I believe business communication should be logical. Yes, that’s easy for me to say as someone who thinks logically and doesn’t always process emotion properly. But that doesn’t make it any less true.

I think people automatically say they’re sorry, thinking it will ease the blow. But do you genuinely mean it? Are you really sorry that you were out enjoying dinner with your family instead of working on a task that didn’t need to be done until the next day? Do you actually feel bad that you were at the gym for an hour taking care of yourself and missed their call? If you feel guilty that you were living your life and not waiting around in case one of your clients might have unexpectedly needed you for something, you might want to spend some time figuring out why. And that’s not a criticism. Many people carry around past traumas, insecurities, and other experiences that factor into those kinds of reactions. Working out why that happens is a good step towards healing from it and moving on with a healthier approach to work life balance.

It all comes back to remembering that you are running a business. Even if you are one person providing a service, that doesn’t mean you don’t matter. Think of all the businesses you work with as a client or customer. If you realize at 11pm that you need an HDMI cable and Best Buy is closed, do you think the manager is losing sleep over not being open for you? If you need a dentist appointment, do you expect them to be there on a Sunday? Or do you understand their hours and schedule a time when they’re available? If you have a virtual assistant, do you expect them to work 24 hours a day? If so, or if you get upset about these types of scenarios, then I hate to break it to you, but you are the red flag client. But I’m guessing you understand that businesses have hours and policies and all that fun stuff and they aren’t going to rearrange everything just for you.

If it’s someone you’ve hired, whether hourly or on retainer, you’ve hopefully established your expectations ahead of time. And, because you’re a savvy business owner, you understand that you don’t get to dictate the hours or locations where they work. If you want that control, you have to hire them and pay them as an employee. You should be having these same conversations with your clients before you agree to a project or retainer. My office hours are outlined in my contract, along with guidelines for my communication preferences. Anyone who has an issue with these things isn’t the right fit for me, and I’m not the right fit for them.

Part of it comes from knowing yourself and what you want. When you’re clear about that, it makes it easier to say no to offers that don’t align. I’ve been offered some pretty decent jobs in the past couple of years, with people I really enjoy working with. But, they wanted someone who would work in their office for set hours multiple days a week. I have no interest in ever doing that again. It doesn’t work for me, not only because that would put a strain on my other clients, but also because I know I’m not happy in an office surrounded by people all day. It just takes too much out of me, and that doesn’t make for a good partnership on either side. I understand why they need what they need, and hopefully they understand why I need what I need. I know that’s not always the case, but I have to make the decisions that are best for me. Sometimes we can work out a solution that suits both of us, but sometimes it has to be a no and I have to be okay with that.

I’ve heard a lot of people say that when you say no to something, you’re saying yes to yourself. And that’s what we need to do. Here I go again, talking about reclaiming selfishness, but it’s so important. I always preface that with a reminder that it’s not okay to do whatever you want at someone else’s expense. But it is okay to put yourself first sometimes. The only obligations you have are to yourself. Everything else is a choice.

As with everything, there are exceptions. I’m not saying you should say no to absolutely everything. Unless you really love complete isolation, that’s probably not going to do you any favors. Sometimes when you’re in a rut, the word no can be partially to blame. That’s a whole separate topic though. If you want to know more about that, check out Shonda Rhimes’ book “The Year of Yes.” What I’m talking about here is more for normal circumstances.

There are a few simple ways you can reinforce your boundaries. Set up an automatic email response for after-hours and weekend messages, stating that you’ll get back to them within one business day (or whatever your policy is). If you don’t listen to voicemails, change your outgoing message to say so – “I don’t listen to voicemails, but please email me at this address and I’ll get back to you within one business day.” Also, don’t answer your phone if a client calls you outside of those hours. Respond the following day, or on Monday if it’s the weekend. It’s a subtle way to start training them. You can always remind them politely about your hours, but it’s often a non-issue. I know with my clients, they sometimes send me stuff at night and on weekends but they don’t expect me to do anything with it. That’s just when they’re working. So again, it’s taking the emotion out of it and being practical. Sending an email or text doesn’t automatically mean they expect you to answer right away. If they do, that’s a different story. Also, if it’s truly an emergency, they’ll call you more than once and then you’ll know to pay attention.

The other important part of saying no, in my opinion, is to follow it up with a solution.

It’s kind of the opposite of Improv, which is based on the concept of “Yes, and.” Here, we’re talking about “No, but.” You can say no, but don’t leave it at that. Offer some help in its place.

No, I don’t work on weekends, but I can get this done for you on Monday.

No, I’m not available for this project, but here are some recommendations for other people who would do a great job for you.

No, I can’t attend the meeting next week, but I’m available on these dates if you want to discuss it then.

You always want to come from a place of helping them. So it’s not just “No, I won’t work out of your office because I don’t like to do that.” It’s, “No, I am not able to work out of your office, but I’m happy to support you remotely. I’m much more efficient and can offer you more focus when I’m in my own environment.” Frame it as a benefit to them. They won’t always go for it, but chances are they’ll consider it from a different point of view than if you just shut them down.

Here are a few examples of how I’ve said no to projects in recent weeks.

I am not available those dates, but here are some solid people you can try. Thank you for the opportunity and best of luck to you with your event. 

I appreciate the offer and would love to work with your team, but I don’t have the bandwidth to take on another project this month. Thanks for thinking of me!

I am maxed out on time this month, so I wouldn’t be able to give you or your project the attention you deserve. Please keep me in mind for the next one. 

I think the key is to be direct and polite. No apologies. Leave it open ended if you do want to work with them in the future, but if not, leave it simply as you’re not available. If you have any recommendations or resources you can offer in return, they will likely reach out again because you were helpful.

Saying no to one job doesn’t mean you’ll never work again. It means you’re leaving room for something better. Saying no when you see a lot of red flags is way better than ignoring your instincts and taking the money just to end up with a micromanaging, demanding client who is making your life miserable. Sometimes a simple no is best for everyone, even if it feels scary in the moment.

Keep that in mind when you hear no as well, which can be equally upsetting. That’s where emotion can really do a number on you. But rejection isn’t always about you. It usually isn’t.

If you don’t land that client you’ve been pitching, it doesn’t mean you aren’t good at what you do. Maybe they want to work with you, but their budget changed and they can’t afford it. Maybe someone else in the company made a decision and they had to go in another direction. Maybe one of the team members had a relationship with one of your competitors and it was easier to go with someone they knew.

The hard part is that you don’t know why they said no, or ghosted you, and probably never will. So you can drive yourself crazy wondering why and assuming you did something wrong. Or you can accept that it wasn’t meant to be, and assume it had nothing to do with you. If you can’t know the truth, and you’re making an assumption either way, you might as well take the pressure off of yourself and throw the blame on the other person, right? It’s not me, it’s you.

Saying no and hearing no isn’t always easy. It can seem like a word loaded with pressure and consequences, but if you build a healthy relationship with it, it can be a positive force in your work and your life. So don’t be afraid. If something doesn’t align with what you’re trying to accomplish, say no and be confident that it’s the right response. A no right now might lead to a better yes in the future.

In this episode we talk about work-life balance, staying productive, and building long-term relationships with clients.

We also discuss the importance of follow-through, the often overlooked superpower of kindness, the "web of awesome" that is your network, and so much more.

Connect with Melissa:

Instagram @melissamoatsvo

VO Website: https://www.ladyluckvoiceovers.com/

The Voice Actors Studio: https://www.thevoiceactorstudio.com/

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:52 Work-life balance is still a challenge. The best thing I can do is just, if I catch myself in a storm of trying to do too many things, that's the time that I really do try to pull myself away and just go, okay, regroup, reset, deep breaths, take a second. It's definitely my biggest tightrope I walk.

02:21 I do think a lot of people have different expectations that they create for themselves that are maybe unreasonable, or they're never going to meet and they're going to always find themselves being disappointed. So, I try really hard to just stick with my must list, try to keep it down to the bare minimums, and it seems to work, most days.

03:24 I do stick pretty closely to a routine. And I definitely live and breathe by my digital calendar. I never second guess where I'm at with anything based on two things - my calendar and my inbox are ironclad.

04:44 I know that there's this, and there's that, and there's all these things you can do. I'll just say, I'm writing myself an email because it's going to be in my inbox. And like you, it's gonna bug me if it's in my inbox. It's incomplete, undone. 

07:28 I've heard a lot of people believe that being too nice or being too kind is a sign of weakness, which I think is absolute silliness. Because I think you can be very strong in your mindset and the way you run your business, and knowing who you are, but still be very loving and very outwardly kind. But I think people miss just the power in that. Making other people feel good is a really big reason why they want to work with you. They enjoy that exchange of energy, and time, and sharing. And to me, kindness is a superpower. So if you're overlooking kindness, you're missing one of the biggest ingredients to being successful and creating those long-term relationships.

10:45 Don't overlook all of the great people you know. And not just involved in the business that you're involved in, but all of us come together. It's like this big web of awesome, right? So, really look at all of the different people in your network and in your corner who you can reach out to. And a big thing about relationship growing, or marketing yourself is, once you align with someone to be hired for something, just always make sure you do what you say you're going to do. If the follow through is there, and you have a great network that you can lean on, those two things are really important and then the referrals will happen.

16:00 If you're operating out of a place of abundance, you know you always have enough because you know what a great valuable resource you are, and you're very confident and secure in who you are and what you provide. And you know that there's always going to be plenty to go around, including for yourself, and not working from the lack mindset of, “Oh my gosh, I can't help other people because then somehow I'm going to lose out.” That's just sad when people think that way. But that's okay. There's a mindset for everyone, I guess.

19:03 The best piece of advice that I can give is, do everything from your heart and work from really wanting to serve others, and be there for everyone, and let it happen organically. The thing that I'm really proud of is that I've never tried to force this. I've never done anything. I've never wavered from the core vision of just serving others and building community. 

22:54 You can make the plan, but when opportunities happen and unfold right before your eyes, you have to be able to see those opportunities and act on them, and be courageous enough to go for it, to not be so rigid that you say, “Oh, well, that wasn't a part of my plan, so I can't do that. That wasn't what I had jotted down on that piece of paper.” So, you've got to be able to surrender to those moments and say, “You know what? Hmm. This is a really interesting opportunity. I am going to go for it and see what I learn.”

25:35 It was me really having to – here comes that word again - trust myself. And believe that it was going to work out. And was I afraid? Yes. Did I do it anyway? Yes. Because what's the absolute worst thing that could happen? The worst thing that could happen is I “fail‚” which I really don't believe in failure. It's just an opportunity to learn and grow. But if it didn't come together? Okay, I'd have debt. Well, that would be inconvenient. I would have to slowly chip away at paying that debt off. And, you know, bummer. But my thing was, it felt so right to me, it felt right in my bones.

When you look back, and you say, “Oh, my gosh, I did that. I did that. I was brave enough to listen to my own intuition and do it.” It's a real moment that's hard to describe or put into words. It's a sense of being proud of myself that I was capable of something that I didn't even realize I was fully capable of, and that I've helped so many people. And that's the biggest part for me, is seeing all the people that have benefitted from a chance that I was willing to take.

29:32 And then when you say that out loud, then you say, “Okay, that's the worst thing that can happen. Well, if I do this, and then it becomes this amazing thing, what's the best thing that could happen?” And really what that is, is infinite possibility because you really don't know. You can't really measure that, right? So, to me, it's just a no brainer, you know? It's just like, go for it. But it's gonna be scary. So just you willing to be scared.

30:37 I just I want to feel all the feelings. I want to do all the things. I want to meet all the people. I want to be so rich in experiences and moments. That's really what our life is. You want to be able to look back at your whole life and your experiences and say, “Wow, I had a really rich full journey. And it was chock full of great things. And things that scared me, things that lit me up,” and be really at peace with that. 

32:38 Everything's better when it's shared. And when you take the money that you've earned, and you turn it into an experience, and then you're sharing those experiences with others, that's where the magic happens. So make the money, but play with the money. Have fun, and bring all the people into the mix too, so that everybody can share in the fun and enjoy it.

34:25 I've enjoyed basically taking some time to just reevaluate my priorities. A little silver lining for me in this whole pandemic situation was going, oh my gosh, we have all this technology and it's been right there in front of my face this whole time. But utilizing it differently so that I actually can be more connected and physically present with my family just really excited me.

37:42 And another big thing is getting a lot of time back just from not having to drive somewhere and come back. I'm a lot more efficient with the way I do things, just based on what changed in the last 18 months.

42:31 I started writing children's stories about 15 years ago when my nieces and nephews were first born. They're now like 15, 16, 20… they all said, “Aunty, our favorite stories growing up were the ones you wrote. You need to do something with those stories.” And so it's with their encouragement and their love that basically, I decided to start producing audiobooks. And now I'm actually getting some illustrations to go along with them. And I'm making picture books, or paperback books, of a bunch of my stories and I'm rolling out a whole collection. And it's all just centered around my nieces and nephews and them being my number one fans.

46:04 I think we get lost in a sea of responsibility, and things that we think we have to do. And sometimes we miss what our biggest gifts are, and we miss the thing that our heart’s been longing to do forever. And just stopping and thinking back to what that really was. And just make sure you're honoring it. 

Be true to yourself. Be true to your word. Make sure that you always do what you say you're gonna do. Things just happen and unfold the way they're supposed to, and you can't go wrong.

As always, here’s my disclaimer that I am not a CPA or tax professional, but as a business owner I think it’s important to at least understand the basics of accounting and taxes and how all of it affects you.

I’ve said it before, but I encourage everyone to build a relationship with a solid CPA. Even if you are capable of doing your own taxes, the laws change all the time and it can be hard to keep up. They have to keep up to keep their licenses. And it never hurts to have a CPA’s signature on your tax return. I like to think it gives me an extra layer of protection. I trust my accountant to guide me in the right direction with my deductions and everything else.

For most of us, our fiscal year is January through December, meaning that’s the period we report our income and expenses to the IRS. So if we wait until March to start reviewing our numbers for the April deadline, it’s too late to make any changes that could help us financially. That’s why I’m talking about this in October. In a couple weeks, I’ll meet with my CPA to review where I’m at for the year, and he’ll make some recommendations for what I should do to minimize my liability.

Sometimes that means paying myself a higher salary. Even though that means I’d have to pay more in payroll taxes, it also means I could contribute more to my SEP IRA, and the return on that investment is more beneficial to me than the extra expenses. I file as an S Corp so I have to pay a salary. If you are a sole proprietor or LLC, that’s not the case since it all flows through to your personal return. But your accountant might advise you to spend some more money before the end of the year. Maybe it means buying a new computer or other equipment you need that will reduce your taxable income.

It’s a weird thing, right? I’m someone who likes to save, so if I have a really good year like this one, ideally I want to squirrel away as much as possible. It’s not my norm to think about how I can spend more. But if I don’t buy some things I need for my business, I’ll end up paying more in taxes. If I’m going to spend the money either way, I’d rather spend it on some stuff that will be useful instead of sending it to the IRS. And while I’ve heard accountants say you can’t spend your way out of paying taxes and believe that is true, my CPA has saved me quite a bit. If you find yourself in a position where you need to spend more at the end of the year, it means you’re doing well. It’s weird, but it’s not a bad place to be.

I’m often met with resistance when I recommend hiring a CPA, especially to people who are fairly new in business. The initial reaction is usually that it’s going to be too expensive and they don’t think they’re at the point where they can afford or need it. I beg to differ. My CPA always says if he doesn’t save me more than his fees cost, I should find someone new. It’s true. The costs might seem intimidating up front, but if you’ve done your research and hired someone reputable, it’ll pay for itself.

How do you find a good CPA? When I say you should build a relationship with one, I mean you want to work with someone long-term who will get to know you and your business and can better advise you. Someone at one of those big chain tax services won’t necessarily give you the same level of care, so I’d stay away from them even if the price tag is appealing. I’m sure they have great people, but I’ve also heard some horror stories.

I always think getting recommendations from someone in your industry is the best place to start. You want someone who understands the nuances of your particular business and has already proven themselves with someone you trust. I recently hired a new CPA based on the recommendation of a good producer friend. I did my research and scheduled a call to interview him before hiring him, but her referral had the biggest impact on my decision.

Yes, I interviewed my CPA before hiring him. It was more of a conversation than an interrogation, but I think you should always have a discussion with someone before agreeing to work with them. Think about what’s important to you and make sure that person is in alignment. If you don’t get the right answers or a good feeling, move on and find someone else. I think this should be the case with all working relationships, but it’s especially important when your money is involved.

I’ve been working with the same tax preparer since I was 18 and she’s been great. But the last couple of years, some things have shifted and I realized it was time to look at other options. I wanted to know if this new guy would be hands on, meaning if I’d be working with him directly or if I’d be working with someone else. And if it was someone else, would it be the same person or just whoever was available? Fortunately, they assigned me to a dedicated team, meaning he’s involved but there are also 2 others I can connect with if I have questions or need anything. They’ll be familiar with my account so they’ll be qualified to answer, not some random person who has to quickly look it over and answer me without knowing anything about me. That’s important to me.

I already knew he had experience with production. I also made sure the company and individuals are licensed in my state and other places from where I might want to work. I got an overview of their services and they said all the right things in terms of loyalty and building relationships, which you probably know are important to me as well. That conversation accomplished everything I needed, and I officially hired him the next day.

The best way to keep this relationship working for both of you, and something that is necessary as a business owner, is to keep up with your bookkeeping. It’s crucial to do this throughout the year. It will save you the stress when it’s time to do your taxes, because you’ve already done the leg work. Hopefully you’re using accounting software like Quickbooks or Wave Apps, or at least have some solid system in place, so all of your income and expenses are already categorized and tracked. Your receipts are attached or at least organized and saved in an easily accessible place. I do both. I attach my receipts to my expense transactions in Quickbooks and also save the PDFs on my computer and backup hard drives. If I ever get audited, it will be easy because my records are all right there.

As long as you’re up-to-date, you can easily send a P&L, which is a profit & loss statement, and a balance sheet to your CPA any time they need it. They can review, make adjustments, and advise you from there. If your books are a mess, it’s going to make it difficult for everyone so do yourself a favor and keep it current. I have only had positive relationships with accountants, mine and my client’s, because of this. I do my job and that makes their job easier. Everyone wins.

I do understand that bookkeeping isn’t everyone’s favorite thing and it’s one of the first to get put on the backburner when you’re busy working on things that actually bring you income. It’s fine when that happens, but prioritize catching up when you’re able, especially when nearing the end of the year. No one likes thinking about taxes, at least no one I know, but there are a lot of perks that come from owning a business, and you want to take advantage while you can.

Talk to your CPA towards the end of the year, ideally October or November. Let them review your books and advise you about what to do before December 31st to minimize your tax liability. Maybe that means you’ll get some fun new gadgets to play with, or the opportunity to invest in that software you’ve been wanting to use but thought was too expensive. Or maybe it means you’re already in good shape and need to keep doing what you’re doing. Either way, find out before it’s too late. Give yourself that head start so you can properly benefit from your business. And then maybe you won’t be stressed out when April 15th rolls around and you can do something better, like celebrating the birthday of your favorite Aardvark Girl.

Have a suggestion for a topic? Email info@aardvarkgirl.com or DM me on social @aardvarkgirl

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Running a business can be a lot of work, especially when you’re doing it all yourself. When you can hire help and delegate tasks to ease your own workload, that can be helpful, but sometimes you have to be the one doing it. And while we are capable of handling a whole lot, sometimes you have to be honest with yourself and admit that you can’t do it all, at least not in the current moment.

With all the projects I’ve been juggling the last few weeks, I’ve had a few people ask how I’m getting it all done. I wish there was one simple answer, but it really comes down to prioritizing, logic, and self-awareness.

Prioritizing is crucial when you have what feels like 8,032 things to do, and when every time you answer an email or get one thing done it seems like 6 new ones have appeared. There are so many apps out there to organize your to do lists, so find the one that works best for you. I’m still old school with Excel spreadsheets and Word docs. Partially because it’s how I started, and partially because every time I come across some software I want to try, I don’t have time to learn something new. So I stick with what I know and think, “I’ll try that when I’m done with these projects.” But then new projects replace those projects and I don’t get around to it. It’s not a bad problem to have.

When I’m feeling like my mental to do list is out of control, I write everything down to get it out of my head. Then I shift things around in order of priority, which can be a mix of deadlines and duration. Meaning, if something has to be done by a certain day or time, those are top priority and listed in order. Then, if something is going to take a short amount of time to complete, I get those done. I do that because it allows me to delete more from my list faster, and fewer items on the list make me feel like everything is more manageable. Once I have everything listed out and in order, it’s much easier to get to work. As new things come up, I add to the list where it belongs and keep going.

Another element of my to do list is my email inbox. Or, in my case, my 15 email inboxes. I wish I was exaggerating. Some clients give me an email from their domain, and then I use my main address for everything else. But I actually like having the different addresses because it allows me to focus on one client at a time when I need to. A perfect example of this is at the end of the month when I have to make sure I’ve done everything I need for my retainer clients and send out my invoices. I can go through each inbox and see what needs to be done. My system is that once everything in an email has been answered or completed, it gets filed into the appropriate folder. If it remains in my inbox, that means there’s something that still needs to be addressed. It’s another way to keep track of everything.

Logic is a big part of all of this, at least for me. It’s thinking practically about what needs to be done, by when, and organizing it in a way that allows me to be as efficient as possible. I use logic when I’m prioritizing, like I just talked about. It’s easy for some to get emotional about their work, in the sense of getting overwhelmed or freaking out that there’s too much to do and not enough time. That’s completely normal. But bringing a logical perspective into it can help a great deal because you’re being practical. What can and can’t be done?

I also apply logic to how I schedule my time. Sometimes this involves batch work so I can make sure the same part of my brain is being used in blocks of time instead of hopping all over the place. So if I’m needing to book travel for 40 crew members, I’ll usually do all of the flights, then all of the car rentals, then all of the hotels if I don’t already have a room block secured. This allows me to get in a better rhythm because I’m repeating a process. If I’m only doing it for one or two people, my brain sometimes works better if I’m linear with everything and book one person’s flight, car, and room and then start that process over again. So it changes from time to time. It’s always about what works best for you and your brain.

That’s where self-awareness comes in. You really have to know yourself to create a good system for managing everything you have to do. You need to know which things you can do quickly, which take more focused attention, what’s going to keep you up at night if it’s not finished, and how all of this is going to affect your mental health. When you know these things, it’s much easier to make decisions about what to do now and what should wait.

Even though I have pretty strict boundaries in place about not working evenings and weekends, there are times when I know for myself it’s going to be better to do it. If I can take an extra 2 hours at the end of my normal workday and power through some of my to dos, it will help me sleep better that night and also start the next day off in a better place. Or if I know the next week is going to be intense, it might make more sense to get some things out of the way on Saturday. The important thing to remember is that, in these cases, the only person making me do this is me. It’s not crossing a boundary when it’s me setting and breaking that boundary.

And most importantly, you should acknowledge that sometimes you can’t get everything done in a day. You can do the best that you can in the moment you’re in, and that has to be enough. Sometimes you need to take a break even though you feel like every second you’re not working is somehow putting you another hour behind. Sometimes you just have to say, “this is all I can do today” and you’ll come back to it in the morning.

Your business is important to you. Your clients are important to you. You are important to you. With some proper prioritizing, logic, and self-awareness, you know you’re going to get it done. You are not going to let your clients, or yourself, down. You will get through it and breathe a huge sigh of relief when it’s all done. And then you’ll look back at this time, realize how much you’ve accomplished, and you’ll be ready to take on the next challenge.

Drew's primary career has been as a producer in the commercial world, but he's branched into acting in indie films and horror movies. He talks about his work ethic and not having an ego on set. It's not about where you're at on the call sheet, it's about coming together as a team to do the best work possible.

He breaks down what the commercial production process is really like - starting a completely functioning and successful business over and over for single days at a time, and shutting it down immediately after.

Motivated by all the talented people with whom he worked, he made his first film, the cult hit "Pool Party Massacre" with a meager budget in his parents' backyard. That movie has taken a life of its own with unexpected longevity - after 5 years, it's still playing at film festivals. He uses it as an example for all the people who want to do something but don't because they are afraid. He hopes people see what he's done and think, "If he can do it, so can I."

Connect with Drew @drewmarvick on all platforms.

Pool Party Massacre

Connect with me: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:29 I've been watching horror my whole life and been fascinated by it. But separately, I just also loved movies and photography, and wanted to do one or the other. I didn't think production was a real, attainable job. I thought you were born into it, or made in a factory or something. I just didn't think it was real, so I was going to be a photographer. That was my goal. And then I kind of did neither, and then fell into this.

02:52 I still thought maybe there was something, and maybe I could go to film school. And then my dad actually kind of talked me out of it. He just didn't think it was a good idea. And he basically said, “If you're really passionate about doing film or photography, get a degree in business. I will pay for your college if you get a degree in business. And then if you're still passionate about it, I will pay for you to go to film school or photography school after that. But you're gonna need the business sense to do either of those jobs. If you don't have it, you'll fail. But also, you want to make sure that you're passionate about it before you waste four years to be a waiter.” That’s what he said. I think in the back of my mind, I knew he was probably right. I did get a business degree from UNLV. And when I finished, I had zero interest in going back to college to get any other degree, no matter what it was. And so I went into the management world. 

04:57 When I was leaving Coyote Ugly, I happened to mention to an employee who was going to film school that if she ever needed a PA, give them my name, and I'll do it. She called me the very next day and said, "I'm working on a commercial and they need someone. If you're serious, call this guy, Matt. Here's his number.” That started a long relationship, because I ended up being a full-time producer for him for years. And now, I still work freelance for him to this day. I was going to take two months off and then get a real job again soon. And I still don't have a real job.

09:58 As a producer, business school makes way more sense than film school. Some people come out of film school lacking certain skills like interpersonal skills, and customer service skills, things like that. As a producer, you need to interact with people, and people need to trust you, and like you.

I say that everyone should have a customer service job at some point. Even if you want to be a filmmaker, and you know that's what you want to do, you should still get a job where you have to deal with people, and you have to take people's crap, and you have to learn how to handle it. Because if you don't, you're going to learn later in life, and that's a lot worse.

13:15 I've never had an ego when it came to what title I had, or what job I was doing. We're all on the same page, and we're all equal despite where our names are on the call sheet. I'm just there to get the best result at the end of the day. It's just the way I am. And it's the way I am on all of my sets, like in the indie film world as well. Just because I'm the writer, and the director, and the producer, doesn't mean I'm better than anyone else on the set. And in fact, I tend to do the dirtiest work myself, just because I don't want to ask other people to do it.

18:57 The idea of making a feature film just seemed impossible for a large part of my life. But then by that point, I kind of got motivated by all the people that we work with, in this town especially. We work with so many talented people. There's so many people that are on set that are so much more talented than I am, and can do everything. I mean people that can shoot, and edit, and light, and know sound, and probably know storytelling, and can write a good script, and they have every single asset that you need to make a good movie, except they're afraid to do it because they're afraid to fail. So, at some point, I just said, “You know what? Then I'm going to do it. Like here, the least talented person in the room. I'm not afraid to fail at all. Like, I'll make a movie. And maybe it'll motivate you guys.” And so, that's really what the motivation was. It was kind of just like to kick a bunch of my friends in the butt and say, “Hey, look, don't worry. It's okay.”

And I didn't even know if anyone would see it. I mean, it's a $6,000 movie that I made in my parents’ backyard. I really thought it was just for fun, and so that I could have a movie under my belt, and understand how it worked. And then that could make a real movie someday, based on what I would learn from that. But I guess it turned out to be a lot more than that. It ended up having a long life. It turned into this thing that I never expected it to.

23:27 The fear of failure is debilitating for a lot of people. And I guess I'm just lucky enough that I don't have it. I mean, I don't like to fail, and I don't like to be embarrassed, but I'm not afraid of it because I know it's a part of life. And I've done it so much, and I've always come out of it just fine. I fall on my face for a living, so I'm okay with it. And you move on, and you learn from it. I think everyone else, if they could just get past that, they'd be a lot better off. So if I can be the person that, even if it is them saying to themselves, if this guy can do it, then I can do it, then that's fine. That works for me.

27:32 We were still able to have the Sin City Horror Fest last year, just not in person. It shifted to an online model. Now, in the future, we can still use it as a tool and kind of integrate it into the in-person festival so that people around the world can participate, at least in some way. So, we're kind of trying to figure out that balance as we're now shifting back. We definitely learned a lot.

29:39 Horror fandom is something that is so very unique. The fans are really loyal, and really rabid, and very active. So, it's great. And it's a community. And surprisingly, most of the fans are really nice, which I think people on the outside wouldn't expect when they see a bunch of people in black t-shirts with decapitated heads on them, and people wearing makeup and blood all over their face waiting in line to get into to a convention hall. They look pretty scary, but they're not. They're just people like us. This is just what they're into it. To me, it's the same as a person that paints their face green and yellow, because they're a Packers fan. Like, there's really no different to me, because that's just as weird. Spelling out somebody's name on yours and your friends’ chests so that you can all stand shirtless together and root for your favorite quarterback is kind of the same thing to me as dressing up as your favorite horror celebrity or character. It's just a way of showing your support.

33:39 I think I'm both the cool dad and the weird dad. It goes in waves as they grow. My son is a teenager and I still have to drop him off like a block away from school because he's embarrassed. I'm definitely not the cool dad to him. Unless the times when it works out in his favor when he gets to meet Corey Taylor from Slipknot, because I happen to know him because of what I do. So, then all of a sudden I'm cool for like three seconds. But then I'm back to not being cool on the drive home, and he's telling me to turn my music down or roll the windows up because people are going to see him.

My 10-year-old daughter, on the other hand, is still in this great phase where it is cool, and she wants to be a part of it, and she wants to be on set, and she wants to make movies, and she's writing scripts now. she's really good at it. She's very creative. I’m stealing some of her titles. 

They've grown up around it. I mean, they've been on sets of some kind. They've both been in tons of commercials, and been on commercial sets, but they've both been on movie sets and at horror conventions their whole life. So, they're immune to it, but they're also fascinated.

36:36 As their dad, I definitely want what's best for him. And I want to be able to give them good advice and help steer them in the right direction. But I also love letting them figure things out on their own. I'm a single dad with two kids, so I spend a lot of time with them. And I am definitely not the kind of dad that's trying to get them to like what I like just because I like it. I don't tell my daughter that she has to listen to Slayer and buy her a Slayer shirt. We're listening to Justin Bieber, and I'm scream singing along with her, with the windows down, all the way to school. And sometimes on the way back, even though I'm alone. That's just the way I am and the way I want them to make their own decisions. 

39:40 I've been an FBI agent. I've been a doctor. Now granted it was in a garage with a drill, but I was a doctor. I've been a lot of things. my career, is very schizophrenic. I definitely make my living on the production side as a producer, in the commercial world. But now that I'm starting to do so much more in the feature film world, and with horror projects, acting has now taken over. At least 50% of my work is acting now. I mean, I haven't been able to complete another movie because I've been in so many other people's movies. From what people that know me ask me when I see them, I think it's really hard for people to figure out what I do, which I like.

41:32 Commercial production is basically starting a business from the ground floor, doing everything you need to do to start that business. You're hiring, you're finding a location, you're getting all the equipment you need, you're working out your business plan, and then you're going to execute it for one day. And then you're going to fire everyone. You're going to liquidate all your assets, and you're going to vacate the building. And then you start over in a whole new business the next week. We start a completely functioning and successful business over and over and over again for just single days at a time. Which is why my beard is gray now.

43:22 Don't quit your day job, until you can't possibly do both things successfully. Figure out a way to do it while you're doing that other job, so you actually still have insurance, and you still have a paycheck, and you have some form of stability. Like, literally wait, even if it's years, wait until the day when you can't do both things because it's affecting your quality of life. And then if you still have the same amount of passion for the creative project, quit your day job and do it. 

But if you've already pulled the ripcord and you're in it, don't be afraid to fail. Because you are. You're going to fail a bunch of times, and you're going to have really bad days. And you're going to work on really bad sets and work with horrible people. But it doesn't matter, that's the beauty of this. If you are on a bad set, or you're working for a bad producer, or with a horrible director, or a client that just sucks, it's all temporary. Unlike any other job, there's an end date. Just know that you don't have to deal with that. You're not stuck. You're gonna work on a lot of jobs, with a lot of people. And you're gonna find your family. And once you do, it'll be awesome.

48:05 If you’ve got 80 minutes you just want to ruin, then check out Pool Party Massacre. Or if you're a fan of 80s, low budget ‘80s-style slasher films, maybe you'll even like it. And if so, you can pick up a t-shirt, and a lunchbox, and a hat, and look like a weirdo. 

--

It sounds so cliche to say, “I don't know where the time is going.” But I really don't. Last week, I was working on something and my phone went off as a reminder that it was the 15th, and there are certain things that I need to do on the 15th, and I almost didn't believe my phone. I thought it was lying to me, because it seemed like September just started, so I don't know how it was halfway done already. But that's what seems to be happening lately. I don't know if time is just disappearing into some weird vortex into that black hole of nothingness, never to be seen again, or what is happening, but it's going fast.

Time going quickly compounded with being busy is not always the best combination, but that's where I find myself today. It is Friday as I'm recording this, and I have nothing prepared for the podcast. I have ideas, but I haven't had time to focus on the ideas and put together any kind of cohesive outline about what I want to talk about. So here is my rambling for the day, and it will probably be a fairly short episode because it's not planned. I think about something john McClain said in his interview: “It's not done, it's due.” I'm at that point. This episode is due, so I need to get it done. So maybe it won't be perfect, but when is it ever? Perfection, I've talked about before, it's not something that I think is attainable. It's not that it's not okay to try to be the best that you can, but I think sometimes we have to accept that we cannot be perfect. And sometimes we just need to get something done and accept that it is what it is. How's that for another cliché?

I know I've talked before about the glorification of business and how some people like to speak about how busy they are as a point of pride. And that's not me, I really enjoyed my downtime. I've not had enough of it lately. But I also don't like to use busy as an excuse for not getting other things done. However, I do understand that it does complicate things when you are spending all of the time you have, and all of your energy, and all of your brainpower, on just getting through with all the work that you have somehow committed yourself to do.

Even with the best plans in motion… and I think I said this recently, and that's where I'm at right now. I don't even remember what I've talked about in recent episodes because I'm just trying to get them done so fast, in the limited time I have available. But even with the best boundaries in place, and saying no, and doing all of those things, sometimes everything is going to fall at once and you just have to do whatever you can do to get through it.

Yesterday, I was talking to one of my clients, and it's someone I consider a friend. He and I started working together when I was 23 years old, and there was a big chunk of time in between where we didn't really work together, but we would still catch up every now and then, see how each other were doing. We've only started working together again in the recent years. I joke with clients sometimes that my whole M.O. is infiltrating their business in a way that makes it so they can no longer live without me. It is really the strategy that I've had, and that's how I have all these loyal clients, because I make their lives easier. And I do it in a way that makes them almost dependent on me, but that's not really the intention. I do like to be there. I like to make sure that their lives are easier. That's pretty much the point in what I do. But also, it's job security for me, right? So it is strategic. It's a win/win. It's not just me giving and them taking. I don't work with clients who don't value what I have to offer. And this is what he and I were talking about yesterday. He made the comment that he didn't know how he would do all of this, referring to an upcoming project, without me.

Also yesterday, a completely different client in a different type of business and a different working/friend relationship. She said the same thing. “I don't know what I would do without you, Amanda McCune,” is what she said. And I really love to hear that even though in my personal life, and who I am in general, I don't like people being dependent on me. It's a big part of why I didn't want to start a company when I left my job. I didn't want to be responsible for other people's well-being and their livelihood in terms of a paycheck. That was just too much pressure. I don't like to be dependent on anyone else, and I don't want anybody else to be dependent on me. Probably why I don't want kids, right? That all ties in together. But I do like these relationships that I have with my clients because I never really had that when I worked for someone else. I had clients who I appreciated, I enjoyed working with. I know I made their lives easier in that capacity. And that all served its purpose. But it wasn't the same because they were hiring the company. I just happened to work there. Now they want to work with me specifically.

And that's something that I think is really important…if you're just starting out or even if you've been in business for a long time… is to think about what it is that you want to offer, and also who it is you want to be. And so for all the people who think your business and your personal life aren't the same thing, in a certain way they are. Your personality is who you are as a person, and that does translate into how you work and how you are to work with.

It always baffles me when I talk to somebody, or hear a story about someone, who doesn't take any pride in what they do. The people who don't seem to care. They clock out at 5pm on Friday, and don't think about anything again until Monday when they have to. It's not that there's anything wrong with that. It’s just different than how I am. I do take the weekends off also, as much as I can. Sometimes lately that hasn't been possible, but that's okay because of why I'm doing it. Certain clients, in those situations, they didn't do it intentionally. And if I waited until the weekend was over to do certain things, it wouldn't be good for anybody. So always able to make exceptions.

But there's this weird thing in production, and it seems to be happening a lot more, maybe because so much work is ramping up and everybody's really busy. They didn't work for so long so now any job that comes around, they want to make sure to take advantage. One of my other clients keeps running into this issue where he has people who he's hired, who have committed to jobs, and then they drop out at the last minute with no warning, and no replacement, no suggestion for who could cover for them. That's the part that I don't get.

If you make a commitment to a job, or to a project or however your business works, your word should mean something. I know that's how it is for me. My word is everything because what I say I do reflects on who I am. And I will never be a person who doesn't honor a commitment that I've made, taking emergencies aside and those situations where you really can't do anything about it. What I mean by that is if I've made a commitment to your job, it doesn't mean that if something “better” comes along, I'm going to just go with that direction instead. I don't think that's the right thing to do, but that's what's happening so much. Somebody makes a commitment, then something better comes along - maybe it's a higher paying job, maybe it's more days of work. It ultimately benefits the person, so I kind of understand that point. But to just flake on the person who's counting on you already, I don't understand how that keeps happening.

I have turned down work because I was already committed to something else. Fortunately, I am able to do that. I don't feel that I am obligated to take any job because I need a paycheck, I've worked really hard to get to the point where I don't have to feel that way. But I can't imagine ever leaving someone hanging like that. If I ever got to a point where I really had to back out of a job and go do something else, I would make sure that I found a quality replacement for me and did the work to transition that person so it wouldn't affect a client at all. I do understand that ultimately, you have to do what's right for you, but I think the way you handle certain situations goes a long way. Because that client is going to remember the time you flaked on him, and that person is never going to hire you again. Not only that, but people talk. I know how it is in the production industry, and I'm sure it's like that elsewhere. People talk. And they talk more about the bad experiences, unfortunately, than the good ones.

When I teach the “Rates, Quoting and Billing” workshop with Melissa, we talk about the two lists. There are the lists that you want to be on, which is the list that says you are easy to work with and people want to hire you, so you're that first call. And then there's the list you never want to be on. And that's the one who causes problems. The “do not hire this person ever again.” Even if they're the most talented person in the world at what they do, it's not worth it if they're not reliable.

I don't know if I'm making a solid point here. I hope that I am. But really, it's think about who you are, what kind of work you want to do, and what kind of reputation you want to have with your clients and the people they know. And I say the people they know, again going back to how my business is 100% referral based, meaning I work with someone they like what I do, they recommend me to someone else, I build relationships that way. I like to be on that list where people call me first. And if I'm not available, or don't want to do a job for some reason, even if it's not somebody I've ever worked with before, I do my best to offer alternative solutions. I'm going to talk more about that in an upcoming episode. It was the one I was going to be doing right now, but just couldn't get my brain into it to be articulate enough in what I want to talk about. So know that that's coming.

But ultimately, what it comes down to is being solution oriented, making your clients lives easier, and being somebody that they want to work with any chance they get. Your talent and your skill and how well you do whatever it is that you do is really important, but who you are as a person sometimes matters more. So be the kind of person that you would want to hire. Be the kind of person you would want on your team. Be the kind of person that others can depend upon when needed. Be the kind of person who makes any project better, just by being you.

I say this with all the humility in the world, that I do understand everyone is replaceable. It's not that I do anything so well that nobody else could possibly do what I do, but nobody else is me. It's my unique balance of the way I look at the world, the way I solve problems, who I am personality-wise. Yes, I'm a little bit awkward. That's totally fine. Sometimes that works in my favor. All of those facets of who I am come together to make me me. And I'm not the right fit for everyone, and that's perfectly fine, too. But for the right people, I feel that they appreciate me. I appreciate them. And that's why I have such loyal, quality clients and people I really enjoy working with. The type that make me want to say yes, even when I feel like I just don't have any more time or any more brain capacity to take on one more thing. I will always figure out a way because it's important to me.

I hope you are running your business the same way. I hope you're being the best person that you can be, so that your clients see that, they value you, and they want to hire you more. I would love to hear your take on this. If I sound a little bit rambling, it's because I'm just talking off the cuff, which is not really what I'm comfortable doing all the time. I have a lot of thoughts in my head right now, and they might be a little bit scattered. Further proof that I am human, despite some people thinking that I may have robotic tendencies, myself being one of those people. Sometimes it happens.

So I hope all is well with you, wherever you are, whatever you're doing. And I just want to say thank you for listening. I do appreciate every time I get feedback about an episode or a topic and I know you're out there listening. I don't look at my stats all the time, because I kind of find that stuff irrelevant, because that's not why I'm doing this. But I do see new downloads popping up from different states and countries all the time and it's really exciting to me. I don't know how you found me, but you found me, and I'm glad you're here.

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If you have a topic you'd like to hear about on this podcast, let me know at info@aardvarkgirl.com or DM me on social @aardvarkgirl.

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When I first started consulting, I noticed a common theme amongst employees. They were annoyed by the standard 40-hour work week, having to be in the office every day, and being forced to work in an environment in which they weren’t particularly efficient. And this was in 2015, long before the pandemic forced businesses to allow people to work from home. At the time, I worked in an office full-time, too, and was equally irritated by what a total waste of time it was. It was an issue with a lot of people I knew, in different positions and industries. Why did we need to be in a specific space for a specific schedule that was based on archaic factors?

We know I’m a logical person, and there is no logic in this framework anymore.

I can accept Monday through Friday as a work week. That’s pretty much engrained into the American ritual and it’s fine. I think we should have more than 2 days off, but that’s not always feasible.

But the 8am to 5pm with lunch from 12pm-1pm schedule doesn’t make any sense. For most of us, sometimes our work is going to take more than 40 hours a week and sometimes less. We need to be able to manage that time based on our workload. Our time working should be dictated by how long we need to get our jobs done, not based on a pre-determined and irrelevant number of hours.

Also, chances are that the most efficient schedule is not going to be that regimented. It’s going to utilize pockets of time throughout the day, not just in that one big 8-hour chunk.

If you have kids and you want to take them to their after-school activities, you should be able to do that. It might mean that you stop for a few hours in the afternoon and then work a little bit after dinner, but then you’re going to be much happier because you’re getting that important time with your family AND still doing your job responsibly.

If you have personal appointments, or friends in town, or you’re not feeling well and need to rest for a bit, or if you’re not a morning person and spend the first few hours of the day not getting much done because you’re not fully alert yet, or whatever the case may be, it is counterproductive to try to force a work schedule that doesn’t actually work for your life.

There are times when a team needs to be together for meetings to discuss things as a group. Some people are extroverts and get the energy they need from being in a room with other people. Others are introverts and that energy actually takes away from their ability to work well. Most are somewhere in between those two. So as the boss, if you are forcing one or the other, meaning everyone has to be there every day or no one has to be there any day, you’re preventing an entire group from being the best employees they could be.

And the common thing I sadly heard from those owners back then was “I need them to be in the office so I can make sure they’re doing what they are supposed to do.” Most people are self-motivated when given the opportunity. Some do need to be managed or told what to do, but if you hire the right people, and communicate with them properly, you should never have to micromanage. A short conversation can reveal everything you need to know about them and their working styles, and how to create a schedule that maximizes the benefits to you and them. It’s not that hard.

There’s a reason why, when I’m doing an evaluation for a company, I ask to speak individually with employees and not just the person in charge. It’s important to get all perspectives, and the employees tend to be more forthcoming with me because they can talk freely without any recourse. I use the information they provide to help with my suggestions, but don’t reveal who told me what unless they want me to.

In nearly every consultation I’ve done, I’ve uncovered that the employees are unhappy because they feel confined to a situation that doesn’t make sense.

Their energy is diminished because they are trying to fit their work into a schedule instead of creating a schedule around their work.

They’re stressed out because they can’t find any balance. They’re missing out on personal and family obligations due to work, even if they could still get everything done on time.

They’re feeling disrespected. They are willing to work extra when needed, but then they aren’t allowed to leave early in the times when they’re able. They’re always expected to give more, but if employers aren’t giving back, that’s when these employees spiral into burnout. Their quality of work often suffers as a result, and that hurts the company in a way that could’ve been easily avoided.

When I had my Office Space moment and decided I wasn’t going to go to the office anymore, my theory was instantly proven.

I saved so much time because I didn’t have to get ready and commute across town and deal with the frustrations of rush hour traffic which never really starts the day off with the right energy.

I could have a proper lunch at home and didn’t have to go sit in my car just so I could have a few minutes to myself to decompress.

I got my work done way more efficiently because I could focus without the constant interruptions and conversations in which I did not need to be involved.

I could schedule my time around my volume of work and deadlines instead of the hours I was supposed to be in the office. That meant I could make more time for meetings with clients and other important appointments that helped the business.

And I was much happier because I was in a comfortable environment. I didn’t have to freeze all day, or smell people’s microwaved lunches, or waste time staring at the computer when I was done with everything I needed to do that day but the clock didn’t read the right time yet.

That decision, even if it wasn’t approved by my employer, changed my life. For those last 4 months, I only went to the office one day a week for a few hours. I still did everything I needed to do. I was still available to the other employees and clients and anyone who needed me. It didn’t negatively affect anyone. If anything, it saved the company some money because I wasn’t there all week using their power and Internet and office supplies and drinking their water.

If that had been under different circumstances, without all the baggage from that previous year, and if I wasn’t already committed to leaving that company because of it, if they had allowed me to work from home, I would’ve been likely to stay much longer. It was part of my compromise… I say “my” because they didn’t actually agree to it… but my compromise for agreeing to stay when I told them clearly I was unhappy and wanted to leave, was that I would need to do it on my terms, and that meant working from home. They didn’t uphold their promises to me, so I didn’t feel like playing by their rules anymore.

It never had to end up that way.

I think this is why so many people go into self-employment or freelancing. They don’t want someone else dictating when or where they do their work, or what work they have to do. Working as a contractor allows you to build partnerships with your clients, hiring contractors allows you to build partnerships with your vendors, and all of that usually leads to more beneficial relationships where everyone feels respected and actually wants to do the work. If that’s not happening, you’re hiring the wrong people or you’re acting the wrong way.

Remember, this was all an issue pre-pandemic. Post-pandemic, people just aren’t willing to put up with it anymore. 2020 proved that work from home was possible, and in many cases, beneficial. People learned that virtual meetings save time. They saw that people can be trusted to do their work without being in the physical office with someone watching over them. They realized that people are happier being comfortable and focused. Without the commute, many were able to move to the places they always wanted to but couldn’t because they had to be close to the office. It opened up opportunities to work with people from all over the world and not just their geographic area. It gave people back some ownership of their own time.

For employers who have embraced the changes, and will continue allowing work from home, they have workers who feel more appreciated and are more willing to go the extra mile for them. There’s more of a reciprocal working relationship based on respect vs a boss telling an employee what to do all day. Some bosses might prefer that old school way of doing things, but those who are stuck in that are losing the talent and they’re not going to be able to hold on to good workers for very long.

There’s been a huge shift in the power dynamic, one that favors the individual over the company. It used to be that the hiring person held the power. They had the job and the money that the employee needed. Not anymore. The employee has the talent and skills that the company needs to thrive. A job interview now isn’t just about the company finding a good fit for the available position, it’s also about the person finding out if the company is worthy of them.

Similar to those of us who are self-employed, talented workers have learned to value their skills. They’re making demands, and it’s not all about money and benefits. Flexibility is a huge part of all of it. People need the freedom to do what they need to do, in the way that works best for them. They need to trust that the people they work for care about their well-being, and they need their bosses to trust them. They will get their work done on time if you give them the chance and don’t confine them to a time or place that doesn’t make any sense.

Remote work is not going away. People are not going to forget what they learned during the pandemic. Some are ready to be back in the office and amongst people, but others prefer to stay home where they can be more comfortable and efficient and spend more time on the life part of the work life equation. The great thing about owning a business is that you get to hire the team you want and create the environment that works. Some jobs do require people to be in a certain place at a certain time, but if there’s room for flexibility, honoring some of those individual needs will benefit you in the long run.

If you’re looking to hire some people for your company, keep in mind that you need to give as much as you want to receive. People will work harder for you and be more committed to you if you offer them some basic respect and trust. If you can’t trust them to do good work without constantly looking over their shoulder, there’s something wrong on at least one side that needs to be addressed.

If you’re looking for a job, make sure to prioritize what’s important to you and don’t be afraid to ask for it. Compensation isn’t just the dollar amount they’re willing to pay you. And if they aren’t willing to meet your needs, move on to the next one. Or, maybe it’s the perfect time to start your own business so you can make the rules that work for you.

In this episode, we discuss her passion for the film industry, and why she had to pursue that career path, even if it wasn't what her family wanted for her. Her journey, like the journey many creatives take, has taken many twists and turns along the way, but they all led her to the place she is right now - exactly where she's meant to be.

Gilda explains the importance of understanding and managing your finances so you can afford the freedom to say no to jobs you don't want and focus on the ones you're passionate about (spoiler alert: you don't need to make a ton of money to be money smart).

We talk a lot about trust - trusting yourself, the people you hire, and the people you work with, and also trusting that life will take you where you're meant to go, even if it happens slower than you might like. We also touch on the importance of avoiding burnout by taking breaks, honoring your visions, and finding a few minutes each day to do something healthy for your mind.

Connect with Gilda: https://www.gildagraham.com/

Instagram @miss_ggraham

Twitter @gildagraham

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXTgk_yxX7qzEI2F6T6L7dw

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:18 I've always wanted to go into the film industry. When I was about 12 or 13, it was just something that I...something was calling to me. I loved storytelling. I loved being able to tell a story and to move people.

05:07 It took me a while to trust the process. You always want to be in control of your own life, and that's something that I've learned through energy healing, like doing Reiki. And then also just letting go, and surrendering, and understanding that you are in control of your life in a sense. But for me, I believe life also knows and controls that aspect and it just goes a lot slower than you. So, you have to be completely patient in some way but just kind of keep the ball rolling.

08:23 It's part of growing up in your first few jobs. Whether it's in studio, or corporate, agency, whatever it is, you're going to learn who you want to work with, and who you don't want to work with. It takes time. It takes energy to figure that out, and it does take money. And people don't realize that money and finances have a huge part to play in you actually working on things that you want, as opposed to you don't want. But it's a huge part of it, because you can afford then to say no to somebody.

13:21 And I think what you learn in acting, if you have a good coach, is trust. You have to trust the other people. You have to trust that they know how to make the right decisions. And if they don't, you come out of love, and you make it for them without making it seem as though you're choosing. And that kind of comes into all aspects of a job. You have to trust the people that you hire to do the job. You have to trust yourself to hire the right people. And then you have to trust the people to know that they love their job enough to do it correctly.

17:22 I was just at a Fortune 500 corporate company, and one of the only other female producers, I remember her saying something along the lines of, “This is dog eat dog. And if I have to just care for myself, then I guess that's how it's gonna be.” And it’s a small department, so if you’re eating somebody, you’re eating your coworker, and we all know it. We all understand what you’re talking about.

20:04 There is a lot of unhealthiness going on, and that you have to be around, to get the paycheck and the benefits, and all that good stuff that comes with it. And it got to a point to where, for me, I wasn't showing up to myself the way that I needed to. I went from a perfectionist to someone who was now mediocre at her job, because you were so tied down to only doing what they want you to do, and then being reprimanded if you did anything more or wanted more. And that's the sad part about being in departments. There's not much room for growth, and people don't really appreciate you, and companies want to keep you down, I feel. At least that was my experience.

25:32 We're all spirits having a human experience. There's the light and the darkness. You have to have darkness in order to see the light. We all have to go down the hill to then go up the hill.

27:25 You experience burnout when you keep going and you keep going and you don't stop and give yourself a break. And then your bills just keep coming. This is why I said finances are just as important because it allows you some freedom. And you don't need to make thousands of dollars to be able to do it. You just need to know how to manage it. So yeah, I did experience burnout because it was just like, go, go, go, go go. Pay the bill, pay the bill, pay the bill. And there were no breaks. There was no recharging of your batteries. And people will take from you if you allow. They will take everything that you have, if that's what you are giving them.

34:45 So many people do not communicate and keep things to themselves because they don't want to be judged.

39:24 In a script, you have the hero's journey, and they go through the whole process of the hero. And I realized, technically in films, these heroes, they're supposed to be us. That's why we look at them as heroes and it touches our heart, and we get inspired. We're all trying to be heroes in our own journey. Some people decide not to take those journeys or those steps, but the steps are there. They're there. It's just up to you to take them or not. And so, I use the hero's journey to show where somebody is in their point in life and where they want to go. I use the chart as a way to kind of gauge who someone is, and what they want in the industry, and to help them on their path and guide them. So they're writing their own script, basically.

44:14 If you're really passionate about wanting something here, there's no straight line to it. You got to go this way and this way and this way to get to it because that's called life. It's called life. I don't know many people that just go straight in one direction. And if I do, they really have kind of a little bit of a boring life, I suppose, but they like it that way. So it's okay, as long as you love your life.

46:45 I don't even think that I was even given a choice in the sense of what I like or don't like, because I was just born with big visions. I was born with ideas. And to not honor what I was born with in my mind, I feel like I'm not utilizing life in the correct manner. And if I'm going to confuse somebody as to what I'm doing in life, and that puts a pause on them because then they don't know how to hire me, then that's okay.

47:52 I think that we're in this world to not just live and take, but to give, and that's really important for me. And it's not just money. Sometimes giving your time means a lot more. And that's what people need a lot of times, is your time and your love.

48:42 If I were to wave a magic wand, what would your life really look like? Ask yourself, why aren't you taking those steps? What's stopping you from actually doing it? Don't be afraid to get the help you need to make that happen for you, because you're worth it.

Please leave a review and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Questions and comments can also be emailed to info@aardvarkgirl.com

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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As I’m about to start recording, I’m reminded of this college English class where I had to write a paper that instructed readers how to do something, step by step. At the time, I worked a full-time job, a part-time job, and was going to school full-time, so finding time to keep up with silly things like schoolwork was a bit challenging. I’m not always great at coming up with topics to write about, and I had a hard time thinking of something I did often enough I could write instructions for it. And, of course, I was running out of time because it was due the next day, so I ended up writing instructions for how to drive yourself crazy by waiting until the last minute to write a paper for your class. My professor seemed to enjoy it because it was a humorous take on the topic. It was not unlike what I’m about to say now, many many years later.

We all know I’m a big fan of setting and honoring boundaries. I acknowledge the importance of work-life balance and making sure self-care is a priority. I have no problem saying no or being transparent when I just don’t have the bandwidth to take on another project. But even when we’re armed with the best principles and the clearest understanding of how to take care of ourselves so we can take care of our businesses, sometimes we end up in a predicament where we’ve taken on too much. You’ve been there, right? You had it all under control, but then one deadline got moved up, and another project increased in scope, and one client really needs your help and suddenly you’re in too deep. What do you do?

This is where I’ve found myself the last couple of months. It’s almost comical at this point, but it also kind of fits in with the norm. It seems like traditionally my work cycles are all at once or not at all. Feast or famine, so to speak. The… predicament, I’ll say, because it’s not exactly a problem… is that the last 2 years have pretty much been a nonstop feast. And while we know in reality I do like to eat, in this metaphor it wouldn’t exactly hurt for me to go on a diet for a little bit. I say this with my usual disclaimer that I am incredibly grateful to have had so much work during a time when my primary industry was mostly shut down, and when many others have not been so fortunate. But production has come back full force and I know so many people who are in a similar place right now, where the work is just flooding in and they’re trying to balance it all.

I was talking to a friend recently about everything going on and she asked how I managed to get to this place when I’m usually so good about not taking on too much. It’s a valid question because it does seem like I’ve failed to take my own advice about saying no and putting myself first and all that fun stuff that I truly do believe. But, sometimes the best decision for yourself is actually the one that puts someone else first, and that’s kind of what happened.

I’ve set my business up in a way that allows me to work on multiple things at any given time. It comes with a lot of perks. If one area is slow, I have other things bringing me income. This proved invaluable during that time when there was no production work. If that was all I did, I would’ve been in a bad place for a bit. It also keeps me engaged because I’m not doing the same things all the time. Every day is different depending on what projects I have going on. And it allows me to work with multiple clients at the same time, so I don’t lose momentum with them by being unavailable for long stretches of time.

But, by doing that, it also means that there are times when a whole lot of people need me at the same time. That makes it even more important to do some of those things I talk about all the time, like prioritizing, communicating, and making sure not to lose sight of self-care. It also makes it difficult to take on those bigger jobs that require me to be on set for several days in a row. I can still do it, but what usually happens is that I have to sneak in time before call, during breaks and after wrap to do all the other work and that tends to seep into that important decompress & sleep time.

I’ve been doing this long enough that I do consider all of these things before accepting any job. Sometimes I say no because I don’t have the brain space for one more thing at that time, or I need stay home for my own mental health, or a variety of reasons. I’m not one of those people who has a problem saying no, but there are times when I may not want to do something, I may not think I should do something, but ultimately I know I need to do it. And then all I can do is be as mindful as possible about what I need to do to get everything done without overdoing it. It’s a practice, kind of like yoga in a way, because you don’t really perfect it. Some days you feel like you’re great, some days you feel like a mess, and you just have to accept that you have different strengths and limitations every single day. Do the best you can and try again tomorrow.

So how did I get myself into this predicament? First, I’ve been working on an A&E TV series since June of 2020. It’s all remote and they understand that I have other clients, too, but they are my top priority. They’ve locked me in full-time so they essentially have first dibs on my schedule. If they need me, I’m available. That’s the deal. It’s a good deal.

I also have several retainer clients who pay me monthly for different services. Those don’t require set hours or a specific amount of time, so it’s all flexible, but that means it can also be a bit unpredictable.

The main one is the Voice Actors Studio, where I manage a lot of the behind the scenes stuff with regards to scheduling, finances, and the daily operations. The studio’s customer base has grown considerably in the last couple of years, which has been really fun to watch, but that also means there are more people with questions and other needs that fall onto me. Because of that growth, we’re in the midst of completely overhauling the website and booking platform. That requires a lot of my involvement in weekly meetings to make sure it’s going to function how we need it to. This will eventually make my life much simpler, so I’m happy to be involved.

Then there are the little jobs that come in that I can fit in between everything else, and maybe some medium-to-large-sized projects that I find a way to do also.

But then there was the rocket launch. The big one where they sent people into space. My client said they needed me, and I never even officially said yes. I was on the fence because I was already busy, and I was dealing with those house repair issues I talked about a few weeks ago, and my cat is sick. There was just a lot happening at once and it did not feel like a good time for me to be out of town for a week and a half. I explained this to my client and said I would do all the prep work from home, but I couldn’t commit to the onsite days.

As we got into it, it became clear that they really did need someone there. And it couldn’t just be anyone. It’s not to say no one else can do what I do. Everyone is replaceable. But this particular event had a lot of nuances that I knew about because I’d done it before. And I know how much of a learning curve was involved being the new person. Then there was the added pressure of this one because it was the first one where humans were getting sent to space on this rocket. The person in this role needed to be able to juggle a bunch of moving parts and go with the flow, while also staying calm under pressure, and trying to help the rest of the crew do the same. That happens to be one of my specialties. They knew it had to be me, and I did too.

I talked to my client and explained my hesitation and why I didn’t feel like I could go, but at the same time I understood that they needed me. I thought about it for a while and had to really turn inward to listen to my instincts. And they told me I needed to do it. I did make some demands… in a friendly and reasonable way of course… about what I needed to make it work, and they were good about it. That’s what happens when you have good clients, and good relationships with your clients.

That was the start of all of this. It was a lot. But I got through it. I always do. And I always focus on the positive. Was that week away exhausting? Sure. Frustrating at times? Of course. But will I think back on it and remember how hot it was or how the Holiday Inn never cleaned my room? No. I’ll remember the looks on everyone’s faces when it was almost time. I’ll remember the cheering of the employees when the rocket went into the air. And I’ll remember the tears in the clients’ eyes when those astronauts got out of the capsule, because it represented the success of something they’d worked so hard on for so long. Those moments make it all worthwhile every single time.

I got back and I had a few things to do but planned on a peaceful week or so of recovery. I even planned a spa day with a friend, which was very much needed. That afternoon, though, I got the text that another episode of the series had been cast and pre-production would start the next day. Goodbye break.

So I had the show. I had the retainers. I had the small projects. Usually that’s all manageable. But then the show cast another episode – a real doozy of a season finale that involves a much larger cast, which means twice the crew, and considerably more logistics planning than we’ve ever had to do for one episode. So now I’m working on two episodes at the same time. Meanwhile, the studio is getting close to completing that overhaul, which means there is about to be a whole lot of new stuff to learn because it will affect a lot of what I do every day. Then there was another small rocket launch that needed my support. And now there’s the Skechers marketing video that is starting now, along with the prep work for the next big launch. So maybe in another month I can have that break?

I have turned down a handful of jobs during this time, so don’t think I’m just saying yes to everything with total disregard for my time. I’ve been able to refer that work to other friends in the industry, so that makes me happy. I love to see everyone working after such a crazy year. This has just been a weird time and somehow everything has landed at once. It’s definitely a much better problem to have than nothing landing at all.

I love being the person people need. They rely on me because they trust me, and that’s really important. And it’s recognition that I’m good at what I do, and I think it’s important for us to acknowledge things like that sometimes. Not to be arrogant, but to be kind to ourselves. If I wasn’t good at what I do, these clients wouldn’t hire me, I wouldn’t get to work on these big projects, and I probably wouldn’t be able to sustain this business I love that allows me the freedom I’ve always wanted. And I don’t know, maybe it’s just part of who I am. Maybe it’s because I care about the quality of everything I do so I always give my full effort. Maybe it’s because I treat my clients and their projects and businesses with the same level of care I do my own. Whatever it is, it’s working, and I’m grateful.

So when this happens, when you end up in a place where you have too much work at one time and you know you have to get it done, the best thing to do is break it down into manageable pieces. Use your to-do lists, or whatever system you have, and write everything down. Get it out of your head! Then prioritize it so you know what needs to be done first. And most importantly, take care of yourself while you’re doing it. Get up every hour and walk around. Those breaks are good for you and will help you stay productive. Eat the right food. Get enough sleep. Even if that means you don’t get to watch your shows or whatever you usually do with your free time. Sleep is important. Take the time to exercise, even if it’s only 30 minutes a day. Even if it’s 15 minutes. Do something. It helps relieves the stress and keeps you healthy. Find little pockets of time where you can and do something for yourself. And don’t forget to breathe. You will get through it and when you do, reward yourself with whatever it is that makes you happy. Eventually you’ll look back and laugh. Remember that time when you had to do all those things at once and weren’t sure how you would make it? Yeah, that was fun. You probably have some good stories about the craziness, too. And in the end, it was all worth it, right?

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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I’m still not sure how I feel about these made-up words like solopreneur, but they seem to be common so I’m doing my best to embrace them. I think the word entrepreneur has been overused to the point it hass lost its original meaning. Everyone is some kind of preneur these days. But I get the sentiment and this episode isn’t to challenge what’s appropriate in the preneur space. It’s about what it takes to be a solopreneur, or a single person business.

The most common comment I get in my business sessions is “I don’t know what I don’t know.” It’s coming from people who are wanting to start their businesses but aren’t quite sure where to start. They often already have full-time job jobs and would like to leave them but how do you know when it’s the right time? If it’s the right decision? How do they know they won’t mess it up and regret the decision?

The thing is, there never really is a “right” time. It’s all about choices and how hard you’re willing to work to make it work, if self-employment is actually what you want. It’s good to arm yourself with information, but not to overwhelm yourself so much you get stuck and don’t make any progress at all.

To me, the biggest thing to keep in mind is that, no matter what service or product you’ll be providing, you will be running a business. You have to stay in that mindset. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be a “business-y” person, there are certain things you’re going to have to do. So here is a quick Intro to Solopreneurship.

First, form your business. Pick a name, get your licenses, define your services, and start offering them. Don’t spend too much time worrying about whether you need an LLC or not. You will not find the answer by Googling because it depends on a lot of personal factors. So if you want to save a lot of time and confusion, discuss it with your accountant to see if it’s the right choice for you. Otherwise, you can start as a sole proprietor and change it later if it makes sense.

Second, set up your accounts. As soon as possible, you want to open separate bank accounts so you aren’t mixing your business and personal funds. It’s a huge red flag to the IRS if you don’t have that separation and can hurt you when it comes to business deductions. All business income should go into those accounts and all business expenses should come out of those accounts. It doesn’t mean you can’t transfer your money to or from your personal accounts as needed, but you need to show that paper trail of it flowing through the business account first.

If you end up setting up or filing as an S Corp, keep in mind that how you withdraw money is going to be different than if you’re a sole proprietor or single member LLC, so make sure to discuss that with your accountant in that case.

After you’ve done those two things, you’re running a business. Congratulations!

So then what? Now you get to work. And as a single-person business, that means you’re wearing a lot of hats, so it becomes a balancing act of getting all the things done. It can feel like a lot in the beginning, but you’ll get in a rhythm as you go. You’ll figure out your systems, how to make the most of your time, and which things are worth outsourcing so you don’t have to deal with them.

One of the most important, and most people’s least favorite hats, is the bookkeeper hat. You can’t get around it. You’re going to make and spend money and there’s this lovely agency called the IRS that needs to know about it. It’s so important to stay on top of your money. Not just for taxes but for your own decision-making, too. I’ve talked about this a lot and will surely continue to talk about it in other episodes, but for this one I’ll keep it simple. Get your bookkeeping in order as soon as possible, ideally from the time you start your business. If the monthly subscription cost of some of the accounting software out there scares you, check out Wave Apps. It’s free and has all the function you need to keep your financials organized. I have no affiliation with Wave Apps, but I recommend it to a lot of people because it’s hard to argue with a zero-dollar price tag.

As a single person business, you’ll also be responsible for your own marketing and sales, too. That looks different for every business, but you usually need to make some effort towards getting new clients, maintaining relationships with existing clients, networking, and all that fun stuff that ensures you always have people needing your services. It’s easy to forget about that part when you’re busy and have all the work you need in the moment, but you don’t want to ignore it completely and end up in a place where the jobs have ended and now you have nothing lined up because you didn’t talk to anybody because you were too busy. It’s a cycle I’ve witnessed too many times. Maintaining your business is good. Growing it is better. Keeping up with your sales and marketing helps ensure you have a steady stream of work coming your way, and that’s a big part of earning that freedom we all love so much - the freedom that allows us to choose which projects we want to work on and which people we want to work with. You never want to get stuck accepting a job that doesn’t align with what you want to be doing because you need the paycheck.

And along the lines with marketing and sales, is social media. These all kind of blend together, but each has its purpose. Social media can be used with different strategies. If you do it right, it can be really effective in getting you more business. Sometimes it helps you connect with new people and make new working relationships. Other times it’s just about staying connected so people don’t forget you’re out there. Some people avoid it completely, which is always an option, but I think we live in a time where we have to have some presence online, even if we aren’t posting every day. I’ve mentioned many times that I’m no expert in social media and could definitely utilize it more, but I’ve never prioritized it. I post more about this podcast than I do the actual work I’m doing. It’s a work in progress for me. Maybe I’ll figure it out eventually. Who knows.

Then there’s the part that probably gives bookkeeping its biggest competition for most hated hat, and that’s admin work. All that other stuff you have to do to run your business but you probably don’t love doing. Scanning receipts, filing important documents, checking your PO Box, responding to emails, ordering office supplies, scheduling meetings, renewing licenses, payroll, all kinds of things that you now get to do as a business owner. You don’t want to get behind on that stuff because even though it’s usually just a few little things here and there, the more those little things pile up the more it can seem overwhelming and stress you out more than it needs to. Take a few minutes every day or every week and try to catch up before you get too far behind.

And let’s not forget, you’re doing the actual service. You know, the thing you actually do for your business that people actually pay you for doing? Yeah, that. That probably takes up most of your time and deserves a lot of your focus. Just be careful not to give it so much time that you fall short on the other parts of running your business, or that you end up getting burnt out and don’t want to do it at all. Balance, right? It’s always about balance.

At some point, you’ll probably want to hire someone else to do some of these things so you can focus on the work that actually makes you money. But where do you even start with that? The best things to outsource are the things you don’t like doing or aren’t great at doing. If you cringe every time you open Quickbooks, you might want to pay someone else to do your bookkeeping. Or if you know it takes you a long time to create content, it might be best to let someone else do that for you. Before you say, “but I can’t afford to hire someone,” think about the value of time. If you freed up that time you’re spending doing the things you don’t like, could you use that to make more money?

For example, say your admin work takes you 5 hours a week. That’s 5 hours doing tasks you don’t enjoy and don’t bring you more income. If you were to hire a virtual assistant, chances are that person is going to be more efficient at those tasks and maybe it only takes 3 hours a week. If you’re paying that person $25/hour, that’s $75 per week. But you’re getting 5 hours back, which I’m pretty sure is worth more than $75, right?

See? I told you this would be quick lesson. The reason I do these short podcast episodes is because most of you listening are solopreneurs, too, and don’t have a lot of time. So thank you for spending a few minutes with me. Now, go run your business.

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Connect with Aiden:

https://www.limitlesswearables.com/

Twitter @AidenLimitless

Instagram @aidenislimitless

YouTube: Be Limitless and Queerate

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:40 Instead of just a bump, it became a wall of like, do I keep wanting to push other people's visions forward or do I want to start finding my own? Can I build something that incorporates all these different elements of myself without restricting them? That's where I went, what can I do? How can I start building this? I literally started looking for ways to build an income from scratch. That gradually became a lifestyle.

03:50 I ended up leaving that company, just doing things on my own, and really cultivating my client roster until instead of "I'm just going to work and keep getting clients and keep getting income," I started fostering it down to which of these clients do I feel passionate about their projects? Do I feel they're including me versus me just being a cog in their machine? I really was able to fine-tune. By that point, I had replaced my job income. I set a date and I left my job.

07:24 I was not happy with the clothes I was finding off the rack. They didn't express what I wanted to express. If I went to the women's section, it wasn't built for my body. If I went to the men's section, it was drab and boring. I wanted to find more clothes that fit me, and then I finally had this duh moment of, well, I sew. I've been making costumes and stuff for years. Why don't I start making clothing for myself? Why don't I start a clothing line?

09:43 Then it just became, well, now that I'm making these clothes, of course, they're all going to have pockets. The first round of clothing is very unisex, very gender-free, with more tunics, robes, and things like that. 

12:00 I was just going to tease it out like, here's an item. I'd take it to shows. When that became not an option, I had to really look at this, get really serious, and build a business plan. How much would it really take to create a full line out the gate? What would that look and how much would I need? I did the Kickstarter. It got fully funded. It's amazing. 

19:05 I was just hearing similar themes through all the conversations of like, “But I don't, I don't want to offend anybody.” A lot of fear of being seen and fear of being heard. Also, “Nobody is going to be interested in what I'm creating. It's not good enough. I need to do more before I can share it.” A lot of that are holding ourselves back because we don't think we're ready or good enough. As I started getting out of my own way, really getting out there, showing my voice, getting on social media, starting a YouTube channel, and putting out the clothing line, I was like, I have this experience of my own to share plus my years in business and admin.

21:30 The more of our artist friends that I was helping with little business things, the more I was seeing that all the business help in the world wasn't going to get them where they wanted to be because they were still holding themselves back out of the fear of not being good enough, or “My product isn't going to do the thing or be what people want.” What they needed was to get comfortable with their voice, with their creativity, with putting it out there, and just letting it go into the world. Letting your child go out into the world and see what happens. 

24:51 Look at the materials you've used to create that piece of art. What did they cost you? What practice and training have you done? Did you go to art school? Have you been drawing every day for 10 years and that's how you've gotten to this level? Did you buy better paints so that the quality is better? It's not just about you and what you think your creation in that little time window is worth. It's about everything that has built you to this point. That's what the charging is about. It's not just about the value you put on yourself. It's this culmination of all these different parts and pieces. 

30:50 I've seen it happen with both arts, with my virtual assisting, and with everything in between. If somebody is going for your bottom rates, that is the client or commission that is coming at you every five seconds with complaints and concerns. “Can you tweak this? What about one more thing? What about one more thing? What if I add this?” Whereas if you start from your high rate, they're just like, “Great, here you go. Straightforward. I trust you, go with it.” It's so mind-boggling because it feels counterintuitive.

33:18 I think, honestly, one of the positives that have come out of the whole pandemic is, I think, people are talking a little bit more realistically about mental health and the need to treat that just like any other health issue.

34:43 Being a creative, having the business, and all the mental health and the self-care, it all has to be interconnected. That's a big piece also of my coaching and how I approach it. I don't look at it as, “Well, now I'm doing my job." "Now I'm having my life.” It's all integrated. It is my lifestyle, all of it together. I feel like I embraced "eff it" as a spirituality and that I was done with anything that didn't serve my lifestyle as a whole. That meant adding some things, taking some things out, but I am done fitting into what society has told me "life," "career," and "work" are supposed to look like. They made it all up. I'm going to make it up too.

39:17 I feel we tend to set these deadlines for ourselves that are so arbitrary. When you feel that pressure of there's too much, take a step back and look at the list and be like, which of these actually have deadlines? Which of them are self-imposed deadlines that the only person holding me to them is me? Also, taking a further step back with I love what I do. I'm passionate about what I do but it's not a life or death situation. If I don't get that done today, nobody's actually going to die.

41:54 That doesn't mean that there aren't going to be times where you do push and work a lot. It can come in spurts but you have to be very aware of, know where your limits are, and not consistently push yourself past them because that's where you hit the burnout. If you occasionally do it, you're okay. If all you ever do is push yourself past it, recipe for failure.

43:18 Any situation you're in, whether it's the idea of launching something new, putting something new out there, leaving a job to focus on your creativity, or raising your prices, any of it, if fear is holding you back, ask what is the worst thing? What is my worst fear? What is the worst thing that could actually happen? Realistically, look at that worst thing and go, if that happened, what would I do? By doing that, we often find we're much more resilient than we think we are. The fears that are holding us back are really things that aren't the end of the world. They only feel like it but when you actually take a step back and look at them, that's not that bad. It might mean a few things have to change a little bit, but ultimately I'd get back up and keep going. It's not the end of the world. Nobody's going to die.

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Assuming you’ve listened to previous episodes, you probably know I don’t like to focus on problems because I’m more interested in solutions. I’m an eternal optimist who believes everything works out the way it’s supposed to. I look for the best in everyone. I don’t hold grudges. I treat everyone with kindness without losing sight of my boundaries. I do understand that not all people do the same.

With this podcast, I like to keep things light. I do have a bit of a tough love approach at times, but it’s always from a place of wanting to help. I talk about serious business topics but I’m not exactly controversial in my opinions. I stay out of debates and respect that people have the right to make their own choices, even if they don’t agree with mine. Some might say that’s playing it safe, but I’m not into the drama. It’s not my place to change people’s opinions. When I speak about business, I’m speaking from experience. And I give a lot of disclaimers that my way might not work for everyone because we’re all so different.

But when it comes to how people, especially women, are treated, I don’t think it’s so subjective. There’s right and there’s wrong. It shouldn’t be controversial. But I don’t know why, especially in recent years when there’s been so much momentum, we’re still so far behind where we should be.

I realize that one thing I’ve enjoyed about not being on a set in the past year and a half is that I haven’t had to deal with people misbehaving in person. My first job back I was reminded that there are still so many issues  with how women are treated, whether it’s being talked down to, expected to do certain tasks based on gender and not position, or being ogled or touched in uncomfortable ways. It’s not all men and it’s not on every job, but it’s happening far too often and I think we should talk about it.

I’ve had a lot of conversations about this recently and what I’m finding is that most women are still experiencing this, and that most men don’t realize it’s happening, even when they’re working at the same place. They don’t think it’s an ongoing problem because they’re just not aware. I think part of this is because they don’t pay attention. I don’t even mean that as a criticism. It’s more that they’re focused on their own job and not looking at what everyone else is doing. Also, the offenders are usually smart enough to know they can’t act inappropriately when others are around to witness it. And some of them sadly don’t realize when what they’re doing is inappropriate or making someone else uncomfortable. The lack of awareness is an issue in itself.

Based on a collection of stories from women I’ve talked to, here are some of the many things we shouldn’t have to deal with, but for some reason still are. These scenarios have all happened within the last year, so I’m not talking about the way things used to be. I’m talking about how they are now.

We shouldn’t have to wear baggy clothes in hopes it will cover our figures so men don’t gawk while they talk to us or watch us walk by.

We shouldn’t have to do our best to be “one of the guys” so we don’t attract the wrong attention.

We shouldn’t have to get our friends to help us leave safely because we’re afraid someone is going to follow us home or back to our hotel.

We shouldn’t have to worry that being nice, or professional, is an invitation for bad behavior.

We shouldn’t have to explain why we don’t want to hug you. Even if you saw us hugging someone else, that doesn’t mean you are entitled to one yourself.

We shouldn’t have to hear that we’re overreacting or reading too much into a behavior. If we’re uncomfortable, any reaction we have is valid.

We shouldn’t have to walk the other direction when we see someone coming because we don’t want him to stare, or touch us, or smell us, or whatever other weird thing he does that we’d rather avoid.

We shouldn’t have to ask men to stop talking down to us, talking over us, or otherwise trying to assert power where it doesn’t belong. Give us the same respect we give you, or the same respect you’d give a man in our position.

We shouldn’t have to worry that an invitation to a “group” dinner is actually an attempt to get us alone somewhere.

We shouldn’t be expected to answer phones, get coffee, order lunch, clean the office, or anything else that isn’t part of our job description solely because we are women. Men are capable of doing all of these things, too.

We shouldn’t get texts out of the blue with inappropriate pictures or suggestive comments.

We shouldn’t have to be rescued by other people on the crew because we’ve been literally cornered by someone and can’t escape. But we are glad those other people walked in when they did.

We shouldn’t be excluded from company gatherings because we don’t golf or smoke cigars, or at least you assume we don’t. We don’t have to do those things to participate in conversations and comradery and we shouldn’t miss out on opportunities and promotions because we weren’t invited.

We shouldn’t have to tell you to not touch us. It doesn’t matter where or how. Just don’t touch us.

We shouldn’t be flagged as difficult because we spoke up when something wrong was happening.

We shouldn’t have to ignore these things because speaking up about them could put our jobs in jeopardy.

We shouldn’t have to talk about the time we got fired because the man who continued to misbehave, even after being asked not to multiple times, was deemed too important so the options were to deal with it or be removed from the situation.

These last two play a large role in why more women don’t speak up. This is often happening in the middle of a project where there is too much to get done in a short period of time. Saying something could interfere with the necessary progress. It could put extra stress on other people. It could change the working dynamic in a way that causes more issues and could negatively affect the project, the company, or the client. We don’t want to cause problems. We just want to do our work and feel safe doing it.

But we aren’t causing problems when these situations are happening to us. We are not asking for it. We do not deserve it. We shouldn’t need to lighten up or stop being so uptight or just accept that this is the nature of the business. It is not.

Sometimes it’s not a coworker acting this way, it’s the client. And then what are we supposed to do? The client isn’t going to be asked to leave his own project. He’s not going to be let go for inappropriate behavior. We are the ones who will suffer the repercussions. Or we just have to suck it up and accept that it’s going to continue to happen, and that’s not okay.

I don’t want to hear these stories anymore. I don’t want to tell these stories anymore. I want this behavior to stop.

We need to feel safe speaking up when these things happen. We need to be heard and we need people to take action. There’s that whole idea of see something, say something. We need that. We need more people to open their eyes. We need people to listen to us when we tell them these things are happening. We need people to be more aware of what’s going on around them. We need men to consider how their actions affect us and understand that, even if their intentions aren’t ill-natured, their actions might be interpreted differently.

There are plenty of good guys, nice guys, allies, out there. We see you and we appreciate you. But for the ones who don’t think what they’re doing is wrong, there’s still a lot of work to be done.

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Connect with me @aardvarkgirl on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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I was recently on a project with a large crew. I had 35 on my team and there were hundreds of others working together to make a big event successful. It had been a while, about a year and a half, since I worked with anyone in person. Being there, I was reminded that one thing I do love about being on a set is that it feeds my fascination with people and how they act. You get so many different personalities, working styles, communication preferences, and somehow everyone has to work together as somewhat of a cohesive unit.

I had some really great conversations that week and someone brought up something interesting about production, but I imagine it applies to plenty of other job types as well. We often bring together these big groups of people. Some may know each other personally or from previous jobs, but many are coming in with no familiarity at all. They quickly have to form bonds, learn some particular nuances, and then do what they do to ensure success. Sometimes it’s a day or two, sometimes it’s a couple weeks or more, but these people work closely together, often for 10 or more hours a day, and then when it’s over, they part ways and may never see each other again. It’s an odd type of relationship building where you get close fast and then break up just as quickly.

Merging so many different personalities can be challenging, as I talked about in episode 59. That was more about dealing with others. Now, I’m asking you to be a bit introspective and figure out which person you are, and whether you’re making it easy for people to work with you or if you’re the one they have to deal with. Are you the one who complains or the one who makes the best out of it? Are you the one who gets stuck or the one who figures it out? Do you care more about yourself or the team? Think about the realistic answer and why you choose to be that way.

The One Who Complains vs the One Who Makes the Best Out of It

I’ve expressed my feelings about complaining here before. While I think it can be important to vent and get things off of your mind, there’s an element of tact that comes into play with how you do it during a job. If conditions are unacceptable, that’s one thing – if you’re being mistreated, put into uncomfortable situations, or something like that, it’s important to speak up. It’s another thing when you just aren’t happy about something and wish it was better. We have to remain professional. If something is wrong, talk to someone privately and calmly and give them an opportunity to make things better. But don’t complain to others and expect the ones who can do something about it to read your mind, and then go at them when things have escalated on your part, even though you never talked to them about it in the first place. All that does is shows the people around a bad side of you, which can unfortunately overshadow all of your good qualities. Nobody wants that.

My main rule with complaining is that you only get to do it once. Beyond that, you have three choices – accept it and move on, find a solution, or walk away. Each has its own repercussions, and I would never recommend walking away from a job just because everything isn’t perfect. And constantly complaining on a job doesn’t really do anything other than make people not want to work with you. To me, the best choice is the one-two punch of making the best of it AND finding a solution.

I’ll use the common example of food to illustrate my point here, because meals always seem to create issues of some sort. If you are onsite somewhere for the day, you need to eat at some point. Hopefully a meal is provided for you, or you are given an appropriate break to go get something. Beyond that, your expectations could get you in trouble. It is impossible to make every single person on a crew happy with one meal. There are so many factors that come into play, such as what’s available in the area, what the budget allows, timing restraints, and things like that. A client-provided meal for a large group probably isn’t going to be eligible for any awards or made by a top tier chef. If you’re lucky, it’ll be good. Sometimes we’re satisfied with edible.

As a vegetarian, I go into every job expecting that I won’t be able to eat. But instead of being high maintenance about it, making demands and whining that my special needs can’t be met, I show up prepared. I bring my own food. It might not be the ideal scenario, but I know it’ll make my life easier if I take care of myself. I do this in my personal life, too. If I’m going to a barbecue, I eat before I go, or I bring something with me so I don’t have to worry about starving. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect anyone, a client or a friend, to make special accommodations for me. I have the choice to eat what’s provided or not.

I just got back from 11 days in Van Horn, Texas. Let me tell you, they do not support vegetarians in Van Horn, Texas. We’re just not on their radar. It’s a small town with very few choices, and when I’m there I’m working long hours and the last thing I want to do at the end of a day is go sit at a restaurant with a bunch of other people, where I can maybe eat a salad if I order it without the meat. No thank you.

So in this scenario, I figured my options were: 1 – accept the situation as is and wish for the best, meaning I could show up every day hoping there was something there I could eat and deal with it. Or 2 – find a solution. Always my favorite option. So, before I even left Vegas, I shipped some food & other supplies to the hotel. Then, I got groceries in El Paso, 2 hours away but that’s where the closest Sprouts was, which I knew would live up to my personal standards. I got a bunch of produce and other fresh food I could keep in my tiny hotel refrigerator. It still wasn’t the same quality meals I’d normally be eating at home with access to my full kitchen, but it was a way to make sure I could get what I needed. And I was happy to do that so I didn’t have to worry about it. I also wasn’t going to create a problem for my client where there didn’t need to be one.

Notice how complaining wasn’t an option I considered? Because what good would that do me? It wouldn’t change the situation and it would just make more people unhappy. No point. The client did provide meals, they just weren’t what I wanted, and that doesn’t warrant a complaint from me. I have higher standards than some, but that’s not their fault. Not to mention food is such a subjective thing anyway. In that crew of 35, every day I heard some people say it was great, some say it was horrible, and a bunch of opinions in between. Again, there’s no way to make everyone happy, but you can make yourself happy if you get over the idea that you’re entitled to everything you want. Changing your mindset from a place of whining about what you don’t have to appreciating what you do have can go a long way.

The One Who Gets Stuck vs the One Who Figures it Out

In any job, you’re bound to come across some issues. Things aren’t working right, you can’t find something, you don’t have everything you need. A lot can go wrong. But when it does, what do you do? Do you go back to complaining and get stuck not making progress? Or do you figure it out so you can move forward? I’m sure it doesn’t surprise you to know that I always believe in figuring it out. When people ask that question about what’s your superpower, that’s mine. I figure things out. If someone comes to me and I don’t have an answer, I say , “I don’t know, but I will find out.” It’s the only way I know how to do things and that attitude has gotten me everywhere in my career.

Sometimes it’s just about using your brain to come up with a new way of doing something, or asking other people for help or guidance. There’s also your trusty old friend Google that can help with just about anything. But it seems like sometimes people are happier complaining and they don’t actually want to solve a problem. One of the clients on this job was telling me about someone who, for days, was whining about how he didn’t have a specific type of tape. But he made no effort to get it. There were so many people around who would’ve had that tape and would probably be willing to share it, sell it, or something. We could’ve placed an order, run into town to get some, all kinds of simple solutions but it never got to me or anyone on my team who could’ve helped. I don’t know why. You never want the client observing your lack of ability to get things done. That’s not a good way to be seen.

Finding an answer might take a little extra effort on your part, but it’s better than doing nothing. For example, we were in the middle of an important rehearsal for this event and a vehicle with some of our cameras was missing, so I needed to find them. I had no firsthand knowledge of where they might be, or even who would know, but it was important and urgent so I set out to find them. Staying calm and rational in this type of situation helps a lot as well. I wasn’t going to run around the whole jobsite looking for vehicles that could be anywhere. I knew someone on the crew who had been working with that team, so I asked him. He didn’t know, but he shared the information for the guy in charge. Within a few minutes, I had all the information we needed and everything was fine. I didn’t have the answer, but I figured it out.

And you don’t have to be the one with all the ideas either. A huge perk of having a solid team is that there are other brains around that are going to think about things differently than you would. During this last job I was dealing with all kinds of weather delays and other flight issues while getting the crew to Texas. At one point, someone was stuck in St. George waiting for a flight that kept getting delayed. As I was talking to him, it was clear he’d miss his connection and he wouldn’t be able to get in until the following day, which would put us a day behind, and that wouldn’t be good. I was talking to the PA about what was going on and he suggested that the guy drive to Vegas and catch a flight out from there. As it turned out, the timing was perfect and he was able to get in that evening. I never would’ve thought about that solution, and I made sure he got credit for it, too. The important thing is the success of the project, not who has the best ideas.

Which brings me to my last comparison.

The One Who Cares More About Himself vs the One Who Cares More About the Team

One thing I’m always observing on a set or in other situations is how people act. I’m curious what drives certain behavior. You’ve probably heard me say before that I think it’s important to reclaim selfishness, but what I mean by that is that you have to look out for yourself first if you’re going to be at your best for anyone else. I don’t mean that you should only focus on what you need and forget about everyone else. And you definitely shouldn’t overlook how your actions affect others. No matter what the project is, you’re likely on a team with others and the main goal should be to have a successful outcome. It shouldn’t be about making sure you get everything you want. It’s nice when that happens, but it’s not always realistic.

I think what complicates it for some is that the complaints are perfectly valid. It’s frustrating to be in less than ideal conditions – whether it’s the hours, the food, the accommodations, the weather, or anything else - we all wish they were better. But, a lot of these things are out of our control. In hindsight, it’s easy to look a situation and say well, had we known this, we could’ve done that differently. But you can’t just call an audible and expect instant results when some things need time to happen in the middle of a project.

I like to look at the bigger picture. With a crew of 35, if you only have 3 people complaining, that’s pretty good. It shows you who is there for the team and who is there for themselves. I’m sure there was more talk amongst each other about what wasn’t going well, which is normal. The difference is in how people act after they’ve vented to someone confidentially. You can be annoyed and still be positive. You can be upset that things aren’t better while also still giving your all to your job. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t speak up when there’s a problem, but I do think we should think about how to speak up. Is it an appropriate time? Is it reasonable to expect a change in that moment? Are you putting your own needs ahead of the team’s? If you think it’s the right thing to do, then by all means, say something and see what happens.

I think we all need to be realistic about situations, too. When your client is working the same long hours, eating the same food, dealing with the same conditions, what do you expect to change? It would be different if he was sneaking off to some luxury hotel to eat fancy meals and spend the day getting spa services while everyone else is working. But when he’s the first one in each day and the last one out each day, he’s showing that he’s not expecting anything from anyone on the team that he’s not willing to do himself. That goes a long way and I feel that action deserves some respect. Disrupting other people’s progress because your personal needs aren’t being met comes across as ungrateful and like you don’t care about the job itself. And if you’re just there to collect a paycheck, not to be an integral part of something special, these types of projects probably aren’t the right ones for you.

That being said, we’re all entitled to our feelings and we have to make our own choices about how to react. I just know that, from my perspective, I don’t care if you’re the most talented person in the world at what you do, if you’re not easy to work with, I won’t hire you again. I can work with anybody and remain calm and professional. It’s usually my job to put out fires and I do my best to lead by example, which means staying optimistic, focusing on everything that’s great about a job, and not letting that other stuff get to me. I like to work with people who are similar. The ones who will keep a job fun even under trying conditions. The ones who take pride in their work, but also in who they are. That matters to me.

When you’re self-employed, the way you behave in front of others tells them everything they need to know about you. If you make the best out of situations, find solutions, and work together as a team, chances are those people will hire you for more jobs, at which time you can discuss some of the things that maybe weren’t ideal on the last one. But if you don’t take that tactful approach, if you complain and create problems and don’t focus on what’s important, you’re likely to end up on the list you don’t want to be on – the one that says don’t call this person again. It’s up to you. Which kind of person do you want to be?

Connect with Arzo @thearzoyusuf and @thesexybossbabe

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:22 A social impact entrepreneur is really somebody that has a social impact business model. So it's a for-profit business with a social component. So something that contributes to the social good of the community in various aspects. It could be the environment. It could be some kind of social cause. It could be helping out animals, helping out people - something that gives back to the community to make the world a better place.

01:09 I really kind of have a bleeding heart. It runs really deep, nd I care about humanity. I care about people. I care about my community. And I try to give back in different ways, and the suffering of people really bothers me. It hurts me. So whatever I've been able to do over the years, I've done, whether it's volunteering my time, whether it's being involved in a charity organization sitting on a board, helping raise funds to be able to donate to different causes, things like that. And then I came to kind of at crossroads in my career and personal life and I ended up starting my social impact brand, Sexy Boss Babe, and having it structured as a social impact company made sense for me.

02:43 Just because you are someone with a good heart, and you do want to give back to a good cause, it doesn't mean that you should completely self-sacrifice. You can definitely do good in the world but still take care of yourself and make sure that your business is making money and thriving while you're giving back.

03:37 Sexy Boss Babe is actually a beauty product. There are these little cute glue on nails that saves you time from going to the salon. So that's definitely one way of getting self-care, and then it's a fun beauty product and the brand identity is all about women empowerment. So we have our own definition of what a sexy boss babe is - it's a breed of woman that's confident from the inside out. She can be thin or plus size, tall, short, athletic, any size, shape, or color. Her beauty comes from knowing her self-worth and going after what she wants in life. She is fierceful and empowered. So every box has a positive affirmation.

And then the Sexy Boss Babe Podcast is about female-centric topics like self-esteem, empowerment, entrepreneurship, just different things that us women go through.

06:56 I think you're a pretty strong woman, and you're independent, and you're a go-getter and, you know, we have our struggles, but we don't let those titles and definitions or whatever limit us. Unfortunately, not everyone is that way, and it takes time to get to that place in our journey, I think, as being empowered women.

08:30 Self-awareness is really important, just really knowing yourself, knowing your limitations, but then also knowing what your priorities are and knowing the value of each priority. Sometimes people kind of just get stuck in the tasks of, I gotta do this, I gotta do that, but if you take your time and just look at, what's the value out of this activity? You're like, wait, this is not doing anything. This is actually a complete waste of my time, but it's keeping me busy. So you have to know those things and you don't always know them right away. Sometimes it takes time, through trial and error, to figure out, okay, wait, this was not a value added activity.

11:00 As a small business, social media is very important, but at the same time, it might not always be your revenue generator. And it takes a lot of input into social media to really get the return on investment. 

13:34 I have these periods where I have three months of really hard go, go, go, and then after that project, or whatever it is, gets completed, it's like, okay, I have a decompress period. And then planning starts for the next thing and then I end up going really hard for another three months. It seems to work and it allows me to kind of juggle and balance all the different things.

14:53 Just after I left my job and my career to start Sexy Boss Babe, I gave myself the space to let it just flow and didn't force myself to be in a structure. But what I also noticed is what I was doing, I was very passionate about, and everything was very aligned for me, so it just flowed naturally. 

16:22 I think as humans, the traumas that we go through in life, that stress management and being hard on ourselves, a lot of times it doesn't come from us. It comes from the voice in our head, which can be a mom or a dad, or a mean teacher or whatever. I think with entrepreneurship, it's an opportunity to self-reflect. You know, entrepreneurship, it's a stressful thing. You have to be a little unorthodox to do it.

17:32 I reached a kind of a crossroads in my career. I had outgrown the job that I was in. I had done well for myself. I could have gone to a competitor for a different type of a role or whatever, but I just felt like it doesn't match with my spirit. And I've come this far, but I don't know how much longer I can live as my avatar.

18:29 I got the idea for Sexy Boss Babe and I immediately started working on it, and I probably worked on it for about eight months before I quit my job. Then me quitting my job, it wasn't like I'm going to quit in eight months. It just fizzled itself out, you know? And it just was the right time. Sometimes life and your spirit or whatever knows this is time, it's time to go. So I ended up leaving my job at that point and fully focused on Sexy Boss Babe for the last few years.

20:28 I have a really strong sales background, and that has probably helped me tremendously with communication because when you are selling, whether it's a service or a product, you have to understand the other person. You have to kind of understand their psychology. You have to understand, is this somebody that's analytical? Is this somebody that's relationship-oriented? Is this somebody that likes to talk? Is this somebody that makes impulsive decisions? Is this somebody that takes their time? All of these things kind of play into it. So you really have to understand people really well, and doing that work for as long as I have, it taught me a lot about people. When you put the other person in mind, it helps create an ease and a flow with the communication, and then you'll get your chance to ask for whatever it is that you want or communicate the thing that you want.

23:51 At the end of the day, it's up to us what kind of experiences we want to have with others. Are they quality experiences or transactional, right? We can get something accomplished in a transactional way through manipulating somebody, but does that feel good at the end of the day? How many times can we do that and feel good about ourselves? Right? So definitely that higher quality interaction requires investment. It requires trust. It requires generosity. 

25:53 If you're going to be in business, whether it's selling product or providing a service, what are you doing? You're providing something for somebody else. So you're giving something and, yes, you deserve your value. You deserve your money. There are some clients that are difficult clients. We've all had those. You're allowed to not work with difficult clients. That's a choice that you have, especially if you're a small business. If you're not going to have some flexibility, if you're not going to bend a little bit, your business is not going to survive long term, you know?

28:14 Another unfortunate reality is that most businesses fail. They don't live longer than a few years, three to five years. A lot of people go into business without customer service experience, without sales experience. It goes back to that communication piece. It goes back to the relationship and trust piece, and understanding people. If you're not a people person, business might not be for you.

30:00 The Sexy Boss Babe podcast and female-centric topics, it's not to put anybody down, it's to help us. It's to help women to say, "Hey, set the expectations upfront. Speak up." It's okay to say, "Hey, these are my rules. This is what you're going to get for this price. You know, if you want these extra ad-ons, this is what it is." Set the expectations so the client knows, and you know, there are your boundaries.

31:58 I was in an abusive relationship for about four years, and when I finally got out of that, I felt very broken. I am a pretty independent and strong person and coming out of that, it made me really question myself, like how did I get here? And I just didn't have that little spark in me anymore. I felt just kind of, as a person, as a female being in any kind of relationship where you feel taken advantage of, I felt like I betrayed myself in a way. So all of those things that affects your confidence, right? So that strong, independent, go-getter, it wasn't there. She was gone. So for the next year, I started just doing things to try to just kind of rebuild and refine myself and kind of reconnect that spark back in me.

34:54 I think every person needs to do some type of volunteer work on a regular basis. It doesn't have to be every day. It doesn't have to be every month, but one month a year, every other month, once a week, whatever your schedule will allow, do something that's not about you and it's about somebody else. If we did those kinds of things more, even just little things, it changes our perspective. It makes us, over time, better people. Then we are kinder and have more compassion for humanity.

38:06 I feel like humanity is at it's anger stage right now. Everyone's just angry. It's not healthy for anybody, but if you can realize the inequities in the world and know how horrible they are and, over time, get away from the anger, but don't forget that the inequities are there, and then do something about it. I always say, if everyone just grabbed a corner, you know, we can get the sheet folded.

40:38 You've got to take yourself out of your element sometimes and do something different that has nothing to do with your job and your entrepreneurship, business, goals, or whatever.

44:13 Growth happens when you're uncomfortable. Growth happens when it's scary. Growth happens when there are mistakes. You're not going to grow if you're constantly trying to be perfect. If you are going to do something that's perfect because you've already had enough experience doing it, you're limiting yourself. But I love putting myself in uncomfortable, scary situations that force me to grow.

45:07 Have patience with the process. Whatever you're doing, or whatever your end goal is, it's probably going to take longer than what you anticipate. So love it, and have patience.

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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We took a few weeks off because we all had stuff going on and it seemed like a good time to take a break. But when we came back, we collectively realized we had missed it. It’s almost like a weekly group therapy chat and the conversations are pretty helpful. If you’re on Clubhouse, we’d love to have you join us. I have some invitations available so if you’re not on Clubhouse but want to be, send me a message – you can DM me on social @aardvarkgirl or email info@aardvarkgirl.com.

Back in 2020 when I was battling my never-ending quest to find the right description for my services, there was a period where I was contemplating business therapy. A lot of my coaching work is pretty much the same thing. It’s listening to others talk about their issues, making impartial observations, and offering some guidance. That guidance isn’t about me telling anyone what to do or even what they should do, but more about helping them realize the answers they already have within them. It might sound hokey to put it that way, but it really is the case.

We get so stuck in our heads sometimes, thinking about everything that’s going on, that we don’t realize what’s happening subconsciously, or what might be completely obvious to someone on the outside. Talking about things with someone else can be immensely helpful, as long as it’s the right person to whom you’re talking. It helps get all the noise out of your head and can offer a bit of a release and even help you find some clarity about your situation.

Venting can be incredibly important. Venting, not complaining. I differentiate between the two because venting is talking to a trusted person about the frustrations you’re dealing with, just to let it out and maybe commiserate with someone else who understands. But from there, you do what you need to do and move on. Complaining, on the other hand, is continuing to focus on what’s going wrong without making any effort to fix it. I don’t find that to be healthy. If you continue to have the same problem but haven’t done anything differently to solve it, I don’t want to hear about it anymore.

I don’t mean that to be harsh, but I’m not able to help people who aren’t willing to help themselves. I can’t fix anyone. I can offer my best advice, my strongest opinions about what would be the best move for them, but I can’t actually do the work for anyone else. People don’t always want to admit that. They go to a coach because they want guidance, but then they don’t want to make the effort. Just like with so many things, they’re looking for that magical solution. We tend to acknowledge that more on the personal side – you can’t lose weight if you’re not willing to change your food and diet. You’re not going to get a promotion if you’re not willing to take on extra responsibilities at work to show you deserve it. You’re not going to find the extra time you need to work on that project if you’re not ready to give up some of your tv binge-watching hours. This all applies to business as well. If there’s something you want to improve, you have to be willing to do the work to get there. You can’t expect it to just happen without the effort on your part.

I think it’s easy for people to forget the psychological aspect of running a business. It’s not just about doing a job. You have to think about things differently. You make all of the decisions for what’s best. You earn the successes and have to live with the let downs. There are time you have to develop a thick skin so you don’t take rejection personally if you don’t land that client you were really excited to work with, or the project that could’ve helped you a lot financially falls through. You have to hold several positions simultaneously and understand how to divide your brainpower between all the things that need to be done. It can be exhausting. And exhilarating. Sometimes it’s both.

There is also a lot more to it than creating a business plan and setting up systems. There is a lot of internal work that goes into running a business. Mindset is a trending topic because it’s a crucial part of living as a human. You can decide how to feel about things and how to react to them. You have to drown out the external noise and listen to your instincts. Sometimes you have to be willing to take a risk when you know one path makes more sense on paper but you feel yourself compelled to do something that seems less logical.

Before I decide to take on a new coaching client, I have them fill out a questionnaire about what they’re doing now, what they want to do, what their goals are, all the standard stuff. But, I also have them explain why they have those goals. I have them assign a point system based on practical things like income potential, timeframe required to complete it, and their current level of experience in that area. I also have them assign points based on passion and instinct. It’s maybe not the traditional way to look at things, but I think it’s important to factor it all into your decisions.

This is why what I do is more like therapy sometimes. It really does have a lot to do with feelings and other ideas not typically associated with business. And that’s why it helps to talk to others who are doing the same thing. Even if it’s not the same kind of business, there are parallels with everyone. And sometimes even your best friends, no matter how long you’ve known them, simply don’t get it. It has nothing to do with intelligence, but until you run your own business, you really don’t know what it’s like.

Even when I worked for someone else, though, I always felt like I was somewhat of a therapist. I was always listening to everyone’s problems and figuring out how to help them. At my last job, my coworkers would literally lie down on my couch and talk to me about their issues. I never mind though. Listening and observing are strengths for me and, mixed with my logical-leaning less-than-emotional approach to most things, I think I have a different perspective that, fortunately, people seem to find helpful. In other words, my brain is weird and that works for me.

So even if you don’t talk publicly in a place like Clubhouse, I strongly suggest talking to other self-employed creatives out there. It’s really helpful to talk about things with someone who gets it, or even better, a group of people who get it. They can offer you their own perspective of your situation. You can brainstorm solutions based on what has worked for them and maybe figure out some options you hadn’t thought of yet. And you can laugh, which is equally important. Not all situations are funny, of course, but there is something to be said for all the stories we have after we’ve made it through the frustration. We all have those worst client stories. The can you believe they asked me to do this situations. The times when everything that could go wrong, and then some, did but you managed to make it through and ended up looking like a Rockstar. It’s a good reprieve from your actual work.

You are always invited to join us on Clubhouse on Wednesdays at 4pm Pacific time in the “Business for Self-Employed Creatives” club for your weekly dose of business therapy.

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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We had a great chat on Clubhouse a few weeks ago about finding quality clients. Specifically, how do you find good clients who are willing to pay appropriate rates? This is something I feel like everyone in business deals with, no matter how long they’ve been doing it. It can be particularly challenging for those whose businesses are new but their experience is not.

What makes clients quality? They appreciate what you do and let you know it. They understand that all the time you’ve spent developing your skills has value and are happy to pay for it. They trust your workflow and know you’ll get the job done. They make you a priority whenever they have a new job for you. Sometimes they put you on retainer because they know they need you.

When is a client not quality? When they are demanding and inconsiderate. When they try to bully you into charging less. When they want to micromanage everything you do and make comments like “I don’t understand why that would take so long” when they don’t even know how to do it themselves. When they don’t respect your boundaries and expect you to be available whenever it’s convenient for them.

I’m fortunate to only have quality clients now, because I won’t accept anything less. But it took some time to establish my process and to learn how to weed out the undesirables more quickly. All of that comes with time and experience. There isn’t any way to guarantee a new client is going to be a good one. You don’t really know until you start working with them. What you can guarantee is that you are not willing to put up with any behavior that doesn’t live up to the standards you have set for yourself.

Only you can define what is quality and what is not for you. I think it’s helpful to define your business rules so you are clear about what’s important to you. I have rules about time, rate, and location. I have set office hours when I am available to clients that are based around my own personal schedule. I don’t work past a certain time, usually 4pm or 5pm depending on the day. I don’t work weekends (and working means responding to emails, calls and texts as well). There are always exceptions and if something is urgent I’ll make myself available to help, but I prioritize my down time.

I also stand by my rates. I feel that it’s important to be flexible to a degree, but I have a minimum and I won’t take any job that pays less than that because I don’t feel it’s worth my time. I’m always polite when I have to say no, but sometimes budgets just don’t align and that’s okay.

I don’t do in person meetings unless there’s a solid reason for it, and when I do, I charge a higher rate and include my commute time. My whole business is formulated on flexibility. I’m able to hop between clients and projects as needed because I’m at home and can prioritize and shift things around. When I’m somewhere in person, that client is essentially paying for my exclusivity during those hours, which costs me time I could be using elsewhere.

When you have clarity about your own rules, it’s easy to identify when someone isn’t being respectful of them. If, of course, you’ve communicated with the client about expectations – yours and theirs. You can’t expect anyone to read your mind, so you can’t really get mad if they aren’t respecting a boundary they don’t know you have, so keep that in mind. It’s important to talk about these things up front.

Another thing to keep in mind is to not concern yourself with others. I see a lot of posts in business groups, and hear from a fair amount of people, about everything that is problematic with people undercharging. It’s an epidemic and I don’t like it, but we can’t prevent people from offering services on Fiver for an insanely low rate or deciding to design their own social media posts in Canva instead of hiring a professional. That’s just going to frustrate you with no resolution. In most cases, there are going to be people who charge more than you and less than you. There will be people with more experience and less experience. You can’t worry about what they’re doing. You do you. There’s plenty of work out there for everyone, and you don’t want those clients who are paying peanuts anyway. Stand firm when it comes to your rates. Be flexible when it makes sense, but don’t be afraid to say it doesn’t work for you and you’re going to have to pass on the job.

I could go on about that for a long time, but that is a decision that’s made when you’re already having the conversation with a potential client. But how do you find those clients in the first place? There are a lot of different ways and it’s all up to you. We all have our own comfort zones when it comes to reaching out to new people and you have to do what feels good to you, although sometimes you might have to put yourself out there a little more than you care to.

Many people rely on good old fashioned cold calling. Or emailing, which is more accurate these days. It’s when you reach out to a complete stranger to talk about your services. A lot of people rely on LinkedIn for this because of the access to so many different people in different positions. With the right research, you might be able to reach out to someone directly involved in the hiring process instead of sending a message to the generic info@ email address.

Here’s where I find tact is important. Be strategic in who you reach out to and how you do it. I accept almost all LinkedIn requests. I’m not as selective there as on other platforms. But if someone sends me a request and then immediately follows up with a pitch, I’m instantly turned off from that. I understand that they have a business and are doing what they need to do, but I’m interested in building relationships, not just hiring vendors. I want to know who the people are, why they want to work with me, how we’re a good fit for each other. All those things.

It goes back to what John Masse said in his episode about selling who you are before what you do. Let me know why you connected. Why would we work well together? How do our values align? What do we have in common? Why would we make a good team? All of that is important to me. And, it has to be authentic. I have received my share of messages that are pretending to be relationship-building but are so obviously leading to a pitch and I see right through that, too. For me, a quick way to get me to rule you out is to make an assumption about me or my needs. I got one from an accounting team that was something along the lines of how they could relieve all the stress I have from managing my books and running my business. Well, I don’t stress about bookkeeping because it’s something I’ve been doing the majority of my career and it wouldn’t make any sense for me to outsource it. I am also triggered by certain words like “struggle.” If you send me a message asking what’s the number one thing I’m struggling with, or what’s holding me back, in my business because you think you can help, you’re making an assumption that I’m struggling, or being held back, and that’s not okay to me. If I hire someone it’s going to be because I am succeeding and need extra help. But that might just be a personal thing for me. The point is, don’t just reach out and pitch. That rarely seems to work.

The most important way for me to find clients is through referrals from my own network. Almost all of my business happens this way. My clients have friends who need my services and they recommend me. Then that expands my network even further. Even if you’re just starting out and you don’t have any clients yet, you can use your connections to put the word out there. You have experience of some sort, even if it’s from previous jobs. Talk to people you worked with there, or clients you used to have, if that’s appropriate. Let people know what you’re doing, what kind of work you’re looking for, and ask them to spread the word for you or to at least keep you in mind if they hear of anyone needing your services. Create a social media post and ask some people if they’d share it for you. You never know when someone is going to see it at exactly the right time.

Social media on its own is another way to find clients. This isn’t an area in which I am an expert, as I’m sure you know, but many people use it as an effective marketing tool. Think about your audience when you post. Share content that shows off what you do and also speaks to your ideal client. And there are differing opinions about this, but I think it’s important to share some personal bits on your business pages too. Not your whole life drama, but show people who you are in addition to what you do. And let them know what you need. It’s called a call to action and it’s important because people don’t always know what you’re asking for. Also, engage with potential clients and start building those relationships. Those are what will maintain steady success.

This doesn’t always work, but sometimes you can use trade for services to get a client relationship started. This only makes sense when both sides are getting something they value. An example of a time I did this is when I needed photos taken for my marketing purposes. One of my clients is an incredible photographer, so I wanted to hire him. I also do bookkeeping for two of his companies. So we made a deal and traded equal hours of each other’s time. I got some great photos and he got some free bookkeeping. Win win. It also makes me think to back in the day when the Vegas nightclubs would offer bar tabs in exchange for production services. That would never make sense for me because I have no use for food & drinks at a club. For some people, though, that was a bargain. It all depends on who is involved in the trade. But sometimes that’s a way where you can save some cash costs and still get something you need.

One situation that came up during our Clubhouse chat was someone working with an existing client but offering an additional service. The client didn’t want to pay extra for that service, which is pretty annoying. If she couldn’t offer that service, they would have to pay someone else for it. It was something they needed and it was convenient that she could do it, but they weren’t budging about the pay. Some people advised her to walk away, because that’s not a quality client. Others thought she should push back and be okay if that meant she wasn’t hired at all. Now, of course, that all depends on the person’s situation. There are times when you might not want to walk away from a job because you need the income. And that’s okay, but I also believe that by doing that, you’re giving someone permission to undervalue you, so I’d exercise caution there and make sure you’re stipulating that you’re making a one-time exception and it won’t be the norm. In this person’s case, since she works the main role at a day rate, I suggested increasing her day rate to include what she’d charge for the additional work. Sometimes with clients it’s a psychological thing and they don’t want to pay when they see a line item but if it’s bundled in with the project, it’s not a big deal. It’s not unusual for someone to increase rates as the economy changes and cost of living increases, so that was something else she could try. Hopefully it works out, but in any case, I’m guessing she’s now looking at that client differently. Maybe it was a quality client but no longer is. Working relationships change just as personal ones do, and sometimes you have to part ways.

When you start working with someone new, be open-minded and optimistic. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Do your research before agreeing to work with them, get references from other vendors if you can, talk to them on the phone or in person to get a sense of who they are and listen to what your instincts say. If you have a bad feeling about them or are seeing too many red flags up front, walk away. If you get a good feeling and start working with them just to find out it’s not a good fit and you don’t want to continue, finish up the project, give them notice, and part ways. Don’t stay in a bad situation longer than you need to. It’s not worth it. But if you’re lucky, that first job will turn into many and you’ll have a long-lasting relationship with the quality client you deserve.

We talk about his background in Improv, which he calls his religion, and how it taught him some important lessons about connecting with people. The pandemic gave him the opportunity to revisit his love of Improv by taking classes online at UCB, which led to a scholarship in partnership with SNL to help him progress with his career in comedy.

We talk about the importance of living humbly, accepting failure as part of a success, and that it's okay to leave money on the table sometimes for the sake of your mental health.

Connect with Brent @brentmukai

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:26 All I wanted to do was make enough money to quit my day job and do it full-time. That was all I wanted to do. So the second that I was making just enough money to quit my job I did, because I figured that with all of the extra time I'd have, I wouldn't be in too much trouble if I was already making enough to support myself month by month. 

02:55 I grew up very consumer-centric. I guess when I got broke, and in college, and was like, okay, I can't afford anything. I'm just going to not buy anything. That's when it sort of started for me.

05:54 If you're going to try to be self-employed, you have to sacrifice something. And if that something is perhaps you like jewelry, or you like buying a bunch of brand name whatever... it's unnecessary stuff and it's getting in the way of the actual thing that's gonna make you happy, which is being self-employed and going after your dream, right?

09:31 My brain has shifted into like ROI, return on investment, thoughts. Anytime I want to buy something, I'm like, what is the ROI of this? Is this worth that? Is this really going to be something worth it before I buy anything? And that really prevents me from buying a whole lot of stuff.

09:55 Working for myself has changed every single aspect of the way that I look at everything. Working for myself has changed every single aspect of the way that I look at everything. I look at the use of my time so differently now because now, for me, time literally equals money. Because if I'm working and I do more work, or do more auditions, or send more emails, cold emails to marketing and whatever, I can make money. And that, up front, really screwed with me, because it felt like any time that I wasn't working, I was leaving money on the table. And that's absolutely 100% true with any entrepreneur, with anybody. And it's coming to terms and to grips with the fact that no matter what you do, you will always be leaving money on the table.

14:11 As an artist, our goal is to experience and to empathize and to gain as much perspective as possible, I think. I think the goal of any artist on any platform across all boards, I think that is our goal is to have life experiences that change us and shift us and show us different vantage points, and nothing… There is nothing more valuable, in my opinion, than right brain thinkers being able to understand left brain thinking concepts and start adapting them in the exact same ways I think left brain thinkers get adapting and understanding right brain creativity thinking. In a way, that's what I've always sort of presented, so I'm fascinated by both facets of that. 

20:11 I think that improv, in the same way business has now shifted the way that I think about a lot of things, improv for me early on, when I was 19, just starting to learn and figure out my own philosophies and my own ways I wanted to move through the world, improv was like my religion. It was like my whole… everything. It really shifted a lot in terms of the ability to listen to people, the ability to empathize, the ability to really stand there and try and connect with another human being. And the deeper that I went into improv, the more I started having these breakthroughs, and having these really life-changing moments that made me say, oh, that's really applicable to my life.

25:59 All you need to deal with and see is what's immediately right in front of you. And the more that you can start thinking in that way, I think the closer you've unlocked to like, some type of Zen-type of thinking. 

27:49 Saturday Night Live decided to team up with UCB's diversity scholarship and said we want to have some kind of stake in the people that actually get this scholarship this year. So I was like wow, that's a lot of fun. That would be cool if I really got this. Let me just submit. As it turns out, I got an email saying congratulations, you won! By the end, they basically were like, look, we want this to be a long-term relationship. We want to check in with you, and we want to talk to you. Like, we don't want this to just be some like email correspondence or whatever. We want to actually have some stake in your future in comedy. And I was like, wow, that's incredibly generous. 

36.23 I think people need to rethink their relationship with failure. If you really seriously want to get into working for yourself, you have to realize that there is no demerit system in the world of business. You're going to fail, and you just have to accept that, that you have to fail in order to succeed. Any success is only made and comes from the failure that you have. So why even care about it? We're gonna fail all the time. You know, you're gonna probably trip sometime today. You're gonna probably drop your cell phone or whatever. What are you gonna do? Just be like, oh, no, I'm not perfect? No! You got to just pick up your cell phone and keep on going with your day. That’s it.

38:41 My proudest accomplishments include teaching in a high school improv league for 10 years. That was so fulfilling, and so fun and so good, and helped me become a great teacher and understand how to teach. Everything that happens along the journey, to me, is something I'm extremely grateful for. So, like, milestones, sure, there are big milestones. But it's also paved with all of the little steppingstones there. And I value every single one.

44:31 You gotta go relax. I think that there is a serious problem in the idea that, as a creative, we have to be working at all hours of the night or doing whatever, doing all this other stuff. And the, you know, "I'm married to the game." But like, you also got to take some time and just go look at a sunset. You also got to go to a museum every once in a while. You also got to go, you know, just sit down and talk with somebody that's not at all affiliated with your career. I think that's extremely important. Relax, relax. Understand you're always going to be leaving money on the table in some way, shape, or form when you're self-employed. And come to grips with that and just understand your health and your sanity is so much more important.

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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Whether you work for yourself or someone else, you’re bound to encounter a variety of personality types. You don’t always get to choose who else is on your team. If you hire them, sure, but you might be on a crew with a bunch of people your client hired. You might have to communicate with different positions at their company. If something is just a bad fit, that’s one thing, but often the best thing you can do is learn to work with everyone, even if they aren’t necessarily your favorite. You don’t have to like them, but you do have to work together. Here are some things that have worked well for me in my career, where I’ve dealt with all kinds of people.

The hardest, probably, is when you really don’t like someone. Something about their personality rubs you the wrong way. Maybe it’s the way they talk. Everything they say sounds condescending or cocky. Maybe it’s the way they treat others. That’s usually the hardest one for me to accept. Or maybe you feel they don’t do a good job and bring down the team. There are plenty of reasons why you might not like someone, but you still have to work with them. I find it’s best to find something good about them and focus on that. Perhaps they are really good at what they do, or at solving problems, or at motivating others. Find something, anything. If you still can’t, look for a common interest or anything that might help you connect when you have to. Concentrating on all the things you dislike about someone is only going to bring you down.

In other circumstances, you might butt heads with someone. Maybe you’re both Type A personalities and want to be in charge but you have different opinions of which way is best. Both of you should give a little, but neither of you wants to. In those situations, it’s often going to be better for you in the long run to offer a compromise. Not saying you should give in or step down when you’re confident about something, but find a way so the other person can get something he wants and you get something you want. It’s basically a negotiation. For example, if there are two major components to a project, let her take the lead on one and you take the other. As long as you’re both communicating, you can probably find that middle ground.

In other scenarios, you might be an introvert working on a team of extroverts. They always want to meet in person, have group chats, and because they work better in a collaborative environment, they assume you do as well. Or it could be the opposite and you’re the extrovert looking for some energy from a group where everyone else is quietly working alone. Instead of expecting them to know what you need, talk to them. I often explain to people up front things about myself I think will help. Like how after a long day of shooting, if everyone wants to go out to dinner afterwards and I politely decline, it’s not about being antisocial. I need that time to decompress to make sure I’m at my best the next day. My alone time is important. Having that quick conversation up front avoids issues later. It’s not that I feel I have to explain myself, but it helps me when others understand my working style up front so they don’t make the wrong assumptions.

As always, communication is the key to all of this.

Be mindful of the way you say things. If you disagree with the way someone is doing something, don’t start by saying that’s a dumb way to do it. Instead, ask them why in a way that conveys you want to understand, not criticize.

Be open minded. Your way might work for you, but it’s not the only way. It’s not necessarily the best way. Sometimes it is, but there are always opportunities to learn from others. Our brains all work differently, and you never know when someone is going to show you a different way of doing things that will make your life easier.

Be respectful of people’s differences. Everyone has their own way of doing things, and it’s dangerous to start comparing them as better than or worse than your way. The great thing about working with people is that you get all those different perspectives. So allow people to be who they are. This is something my mom said the other day when we were talking about this, because it’s something that’s helped her do really well at her job. Think about that. Let people be who they are. I think that’s good advice for all situations, not just business. You don’t have to try to change someone to help them be better.

Above all, be kind. It’s that simple. There are people out there who think of kindness as a weakness, but those people are missing out. Being nice to people has gotten me far in my career. And it’s not about sucking up. It’s not being disingenuous. It’s about being respectful and helpful.

I’ll never forget the time I asked a client, “Is there anything I can do to make your life easier during this project?” He stopped what he was doing, which is rare, looked puzzled, and said, “I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.” That was baffling to me because it’s something I ask people all the time out of consideration. I rely a lot on my observations, which are pretty helpful, but the easiest way to know what someone wants or needs is to ask them. Yet, for some reason, people love to guess instead and then get disappointed when they don’t get it right. I’ve never understood that one.

That’s what a leader does. It’s not about morphing everyone else into you or changing their ways to be more like yours. It’s about embracing everything about who they are and extracting the best. They probably have different strengths than you do, so use that to make yourself better.

Do your best to adapt to their communication style, even if it’s different than yours. This one can be tough, but I find that I have better results when I change my ways instead of expecting others to. I usually ask clients up front how they prefer to communicate – via email, text or phone. I prefer emails, personally, because it fits into my system and makes it easier to track what’s been done and what needs to be done. But some people really hate email and they aren’t going to respond. So if they need to have a phone call, as much as I don’t like to talk on the phone, it’s going to get me what I need faster than waiting on a written response.

The only time I put my foot down is when people want to meet in person, and I don’t believe that’s an efficient way to do things. If it makes sense, sure, but usually I’ll offer a video call as an alternative. I find that in-person meetings are often a waste of time and there are better ways to use my clients’ budgets than paying for my time to drive across town, wait around every time they get another call, and all the chit chat. I like the chit chat when there’s time for it, but when there’s a lot to do and we need to be productive, I can do that better from home. That’s another case where I explain my point of view up front and then it’s not an issue.

There are always going to be those emotional vampires out there. The button pushers who want to get under your skin. The troublemakers who like to start drama. Don’t worry about them. Treat them just like you would anyone else. Being kind to those people, and not playing into their games, takes away the power they think they have, and they’ll usually move on quickly.

Before I started my last job job, the owner of the company told me there was a girl there who would hate me. She’d never met me, so it was an odd thing to say, but she felt she was entitled to my job, so they knew she was automatically going to resent anyone in that position. I saw it from day one. She was judging everything she could, looking for a flaw or something she could use against me. I didn’t add any fuel to her fire. I was nice to her. I took an interest in her. I was maybe even overly kind, even when she gave me attitude. I’d ask about her family and other things she was doing. After a week or two, she completely lost interest and moved on to someone else. We never became friends or anything like that, but we were able to work together peacefully, which is sometimes all you can really expect.

With everyone, figure out how they respond. Do they thrive on praise? Tell them they’re doing a good job, if you believe it. You don’t need to pander to anyone, but maybe their arrogance is actually masking a great deal of insecurity and they just need to be told they’re doing good work. Some people need to know they’re trusted. Be careful not to micromanage those people. Actually, I don’t think anyone really likes being micromanaged. It’s tough sometimes, but you have to empower people to make decisions. You might not always agree with the way they do things, but then you can discuss it and have a productive conversation about how to do things in the future. Others want to feel included, so talk to them about what’s going on. If it’s appropriate, let them join in on meetings, or get their feedback about ideas that might affect them. You never know if they’re sitting on a brilliant idea.

Whether you work for yourself or someone else, you’re inevitably going to have to work with different personality types. Instead of getting frustrated when people don’t do things the same way you do, embrace their differences and take those opportunities to expand your own point of view. You can’t change them, but you can change the way you interact with them.

There is far more power in being adaptable than being right. And if you think about it, in most of the work we’re doing, there really isn’t a right or wrong way to do things. Just different ways. So don’t waste your time worrying about it. Do your best to be productive and keep things moving forward in a positive direction, no matter how many personalities are on your team.

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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It’s officially been a year since the “Business for Self-Employed Creatives” podcast launched. Some of you have been with me since day one, some found it later on, and this might be the first episode you’ve ever heard. No matter what, I appreciate that you’re here. This episode is about reflecting on how I got here, but also about the steps I took and how those can apply to starting any new project.

In 2019, I started The Womanpreneur Podcast with my friend Melissa Moats. We had a proper studio and a team of great people who helped us look and sound our best. Then the pandemic came along in 2020 and complicated things. We tried for a short time to keep going, recording remotely via Zoom like so many others, but neither of us had the time or desire to learn how to do everything ourselves. We decided it was time to retire the podcast.

That decision was the right one, but I also didn’t want to lose the momentum of the podcast. I had wanted to start it as an additional business tool. A way to connect with a new audience and share what I’ve learned throughout my career in hopes of helping others. I had a lot of fun chatting with Melissa every week, but I simply didn’t have the bandwidth to manage two brands. I found myself prioritizing that podcast because it involved someone else. Meanwhile, I wasn’t doing anything to help Aardvark Girl.

With the extra time on my hands from production being shut down, I put my focus back on my own brand and pulled out the list of projects I’d been wanting to work on but never seemed to find time for. I saw that a lot of people were struggling, not knowing what to do because of what was happening in the world. During lockdown, I offered free business coaching for anyone who needed it. I helped people navigate the loan options that were available to them. I helped them figure out ways to be more productive with their time. I helped them brainstorm new ways to make money since the old ways were unavailable. It reminded me why I wanted to start my business in the first place – to help others in their businesses.

At the same time, I had been working with Tansy Aster Creative to redesign my website and found more clarity about what I wanted to be doing. I decided I should still do a podcast, but one that was a true extension of my brand. It would be a way to offer the same type of help I was giving my coaching clients, but making it accessible to anyone who wanted to listen for free.

I had a lot to figure out since I knew I would be doing this by myself. Fortunately, I have a lot of practice doing things by myself. And this was essentially like starting any new project, so I approached it with that framework in mind.

It’s always good to start with the basics. Can you answer the standard six questions – who, what, when, where, how and why?

The who was pretty easy for me to identify. For simplicity, I would be the only host. I would continue doing interviews because I really enjoy those conversations and think it’s important to offer different points of view because we can all find success in different ways. The target audience would be the same one I had already carved out for my consulting business. I was focused on single person, or very small, businesses because I felt I could make the most difference there. The bigger the business, the more complicated solutions become, and there are plenty of people out there for that. I want to help those creative individuals who were doing their own thing but didn’t know how to balance their talent with running a business. So self-employed creatives became my niche. And, in taking a note from Melissa and her husband who always said it’s best to name a business what it is, that’s what I called the podcast. It was simple and made it clear in the title what it was about.

The what was the podcast itself. I decided on the format pretty early on. I would mix short solo episodes with longer interviews. As much as I’d love to do interviews every episode, those take a lot more time, and I wanted to make sure I was being practical about what I could accomplish. In addition, business owners are busy and creatives don’t always have the longest attention spans, so it made sense to keep most of the episodes short and to the point.

The when was dictated by the end of the Womanpreneur Podcast. I wanted to be able to transition seamlessly from one to another so I could do my best to retain our audience. We had our last episode scheduled for the end of May, so I set June 1st as my launch date. I think it’s good to set a target date for any project because that gives you a timeline to work towards. It makes it easier to complete than leaving it open ended and saying I’ll start when I’m ready, because most of us then find excuses to delay.

The where for recording was going to be my house. We were in the middle of a lockdown so there wouldn’t have been another option anyway, but that was the most practical. I don’t have a home studio or even a space that would make sense to convert into a proper studio, but I knew I could figure out a way to make it work. It might not be perfect, but with all shows being suddenly forced to do things remotely, people were being more forgiving about sound and not expecting absolute perfection. As for where it would be published, I stuck with Podbean, the same host we used for the other podcast, because I was already familiar with it and knew I could upload there and push to all the standard platforms.

The how was the trickiest because I didn’t have anything I needed to do a podcast. I knew I needed to make the investment in some equipment and software to make the quality acceptable. I did a lot of research, consulted with experts, and tried different things. That part of it continues to evolve. I used the time as an opportunity to learn new skills. I quickly figured out that I don’t love doing audio work, but it’s a necessary evil with podcasting. But I also figured out that I would have to outsource my interview episodes. Mixing two separate audio tracks is not my forte, and with so many people recording from less than ideal spaces using less than ideal equipment, I wanted a pro who could keep everyone sounding as good as possible. Fortunately, my brother does this professionally through his company Tansy Aster Creative (sound familiar? They’ve become my go-to for a lot of my business needs), so figuring out who to trust with it was easy.

I’ve already talked about the why. The podcast was created to help people. It is a way to offer free value to others while also giving another platform for people to understand who I am before they decide to work with me. I think it’s important to give without the expectation of anything in return. So even though my podcast has led to some new clients, that’s more of a bonus than the reason.

Understanding the answers to those basic questions is always a good place to start with a new project. You want to be clear about what you are doing before you start doing it. You may change your mind along the way, but it’s best to have at least a basic roadmap figured out before you start driving.

As I set on my path, I started working on all the behind-the-scenes stuff. Getting equipment, figuring out how to use it, defining topics, lining up guests, and recording episodes. It took a large investment of time and money to get started, but I was ready to go. I had this whole big launch planned for June 1st, but there ended up being some far more significant things happening in America that week and it didn’t feel right to talk about my podcast. So it was a quiet launch and I never really did a proper push, which was my own fault. Self-promotion isn’t exactly my strength.

Throughout this process, I’ve made a couple significant observations that also could apply to any project.

First, passion projects are called passion projects for a reason. You have to really want to do it. This podcast costs me a lot of time and money. It’s important to me, though, because the reasons why I started it still exist. Sometimes it’s stressful finding the time to keep up and I’ve thought about taking a break, but I believe consistency is important so I push through and haven’t missed a publishing date yet. I didn’t think it would be an issue since I launched when I wasn’t really working, but I haven’t had a slow period since mid-June of 2020. Oddly enough, 2020 was my busiest year ever and 2021 is definitely going to beat that record. I’m super grateful, but have definitely been feeling the pressure from all of it, all of which is self-imposed.

Eventually, I do want to monetize so I can actually get some money to help pay for my costs and to improve the podcast, but I’m torn on the best way to do that without the traditional annoying ads. I would love to get some sponsors and possibly set up a Patreon or similar account, but I haven’t figured all of that out yet. Having some income from the podcast would allow me to hire more people to help with marketing, PR to get higher profile guests, and things like that. So it’s not about making more money for me, it’s about investing back into the podcast to make it a better show for you.

The observation, though, is one I’ve made in other times of my life as well. You make time for what’s important to you. It doesn’t matter what you have going on or how busy you are, if it’s important to you, you will make the time to show up. That’s why I show up here every Monday with a new episode. And I plan on continuing to do that indefinitely. Who knows where the next year will take us. But thank you for being here now and I hope you’ll stay with me as this journey continues.

In this episode, we talk about how hard it is to answer the question "What do you do?" when you do so many things. And how trying to simplify it into a definition others understand can place unnecessary limitations on your abilities.

We discuss our belief in optimism and how it's not just about looking on the bright side, but an active practice in finding the good in life. Even through the pandemic and a series of heavy personal events, she focused on the positive and came through stronger than before. One of her greatest strengths is her ability to help others understand the tools they already have within them and organize them in a useful manner.

Her biggest piece of advice is to not put all your eggs in one basket. Having side gigs and other sources of income, along with doing different types of work, are what have given her the freedom to choose what she wants to do. So while some might say, "you do too many things," we believe that allows us to create new opportunities we wouldn't have if we stayed in one bucket.

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Please leave a review and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Send your questions and comments to info@aardvarkgirl.com

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Connect with Jaimee @jaimeejaimee and @picturethisclothing

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00:45 If you can endure a three-day road trip with someone, you know it's good. You could work together.

03:20 You look at Walt Disney, and you look at Jim Henson, and the vision they had, and how much resistance they got for their ideas early on. But they found a way. They had a dream. They had an idea. They had passion, and joy, and fun, and playfulness, and they brought that to the world in a huge way. And I just think that's hugely inspiring.

06:41 I feel like I have a lot of ideas, and things I want to try, and things I want to make. We're always trying things. We always have ideas, and so getting them out of our head and into the real world is just a practice for us. It's a life. It's who we are.

What is it that's pulling your focus? So if it's pulling your focus, see it through, finish it up, and throw it out in the world and see what happens. That's how our business, Picture This Clothing, was born. It was a proof of concept.

09:14 What I started doing was figuring out how to just do. Do things, but not just start, actually finish. And so what I learned through that process, a couple of years’ worth of trying sprints and basically applying the product design process to my life, is something that I call Tiny Challenges, and it's kind of a silly little thing. But basically, you define a small window of time - it can be five days, seven days, ten days, whatever, one month - but do something very small for that amount of time. It's always a part of a bigger goal. You break it down into a really small manageable pieces, and you chip away at it slowly over time. You'll look back and go, oh my gosh, I just made like a 30-day body of work. That's huge. That's progress.

12:09 I’m a great collector of domain names and lost ideas. Something that I really learned over time is, just get this small nugget of the idea, enough to get the idea out, enough for it to be good enough quality for people to understand what you're doing, what it is, and how to work with it, how it's intended to be engaged with, with quality and thought. But don't dump every dime into your idea until you know it's worth it. 

14:26 You ask if there's a process. I think having an idea, writing stuff down. Because you may get started on it and then get distracted in 1000 different ways, and actually come back to the idea. I think documenting your ideas is really important.

15:14 I think having a product, you depend on different things and different bodies of knowledge. I've done service providing as well, where I was coaching, where I was teaching, where I was doing workshops and conferences, and all of that. And the biggest difference for me is we have something that we have to physically ship to a person.

19:14 I don't think we're a clothing store at all. First of all, we're an experience. And so, just in case people are unfamiliar with what Picture This Clothing is, you print out a coloring sheet of a dress, a T-shirt, we have beanies, face coverings, and then we have leggings as well. So we have a few products, and you print out the coloring sheet. You design it any way you want. You upload a smartphone photo to our website. We send it back ready to wear. And that's what Picture This Clothing is. And so it's all about that design experience that you have at home. And it always was that, even before the pandemic.

26:38 It always drives me crazy when people shut it down without thinking of the bigger possibility, or the bigger vision.

30:09 People love experimenting, and playing, and sharing their own ideas and their own imagination, creativity, and we all talk about it and try things. And so that part's really cool. 

33:43 Something that we've always done, but that really played well with the pandemic, was not having all our eggs in one basket. And I think as a self-employed sort of person, that's something I learned many, many, many years ago. Even if I had a full-time job, I was usually freelancing, designing websites for people or logos or whatever, on the side. I almost always had side gigs. And so even now, even though Picture This Clothing is the thing that requires most of my attention, I still have another business on the side. Ken still has another business on the side. So we have other things bringing in income. Don't rely on just one source of income at any time, if you can help it. 

38:02 It's a struggle when people go, “What do you do?” to answer that. I do a lot of stuff and I hate being dropped into a bucket. Like, I am a writer, I am a designer, I am a CEO, I also do our books and our finances and I can do strategy. I am a social media person. And we wear a lot of hats when we're self-employed, do we not?

I remember trying to simplify and say I'm a designer, but then it completely undermines my abilities. I am, in many capacities, a designer, but I am also much more than that, and I know that. And I think I'm limiting myself and holding myself back by simply trying to slap the label on so that people understand. And then I'm getting work that I don't want. And I'm like, No, this isn't what I meant. This isn't… No, this is an ill fit. And it’s my own doing, but untitled. I'm untitled.

43:34 I've been just really rethinking my own branding, and my personal brand, and what am I? How do I describe who I am and what I am? What do I really want to be doing? You know, people always ask that question, "If you had a million dollars, and you could do anything that you wanted..." Well, I'm not saying that I have a million dollars, but I'm saying I can do anything that I want to do. And I've put myself in a position where I've worked hard enough and that I can decide that I want to do this, or I want to do that. And I'm trying to decide what is it exactly that I do want to do for a while? And I never know. I've never had the answer. And I kind of just end up where I end up, and I do what I do until I don't want to do it anymore. And then I start experimenting my way into something else. And so that's where I'm at.

47:07 I've worked really hard to be able to make that a part of my life. And I'll keep working really hard. Like I love working on things I love working on. I just want to keep that freedom, you know? I want to keep that freedom because that's everything to me.

47:49 I don't know that I can prevent any burnout from ever happening again. But I know that I have the tools to survive, overcome and be resilient. That's what I'm really good at in my own life. I practice this regularly. And I find myself up against the wall regularly and needing to put those tools into practice. But I do feel like I always come out on the other side, and I'm okay. And I'm still going, I'm still fighting. And I think that there's just if there's anything I can do to help people understand their own toolset and how to apply it to get themselves on the bright side, that's probably one of my greatest strengths, and what I hope to be able to give to people. I believe that everybody has those tools within them already. It's just really discovering them and organizing them in a way that that's useful.

51:17 I know there's so much more to it than just looking on the bright side. I am not naive to this and not impossibly optimistic even, but I am a hardcore believer in optimism. It's a part of my soul. It's a part of who I am. And I can't help but to keep moving forward with hope. I will tell you that it's not easy at all times to do that. It takes practice and it takes thoughtful focus, dedication to mindfully choosing, like, what's good today. What's something good that happened?

52:11 Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I just think that's really helped me not get stuck. It keeps my options open and keeps my freedom as my underlying… and when I say freedom, my ability to choose. My ability to not have to go work for someone else unless I choose to. I hope I can always retain that. But I think having five or six little baskets with eggs in them has given me that freedom.

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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A few weeks ago, our weekly Clubhouse meetup was supposed to be about money management for creatives. It quickly became focused more on making money than what to do with the money we’ve already made. Everyone was interested in how to set rates, be confident in charging what they’re worth, and how to avoid the all-too-common epidemic called “Imposter Syndrome.” It seems to be a rampant issue in creative fields, especially in those who are just starting out in business.

What is imposter syndrome? It’s when you feel like a fraud for charging people for your services. It’s that internal doubt that you aren’t worth as much as you are. It’s tricking yourself into thinking you aren’t as competent as others think you are, even though you are. It’s undermining your talent and crediting luck for your accomplishments instead. It’s a lack of confidence telling you that people are going to find out you don’t actually know what you’re doing and everything you’ve worked for is going to disappear.

Sound familiar? I hope not, but if so, you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome is affecting business owners everywhere. There is so much pressure, often self-inflicted, to be the best. And if you’re not the best in the world, then somehow you don’t deserve success at all. But that’s not true.

I know I’m starting to sound like a PSA, but I don’t like hearing how many talented people are feeling like phonies instead of being proud of doing what they’ve always wanted to do. So, if you’ve ever dealt with those feelings, or are feeling them now, this episode is for you.

I want you to know a few things.

You are not a fraud. Stop thinking that you are. If you were a true fraud, you probably wouldn’t be listening to this podcast, so I’m going to trust that you aren’t ripping people off or claiming you can do things you can’t. I know those people are out there, but you know if that’s you. It’s not, right?

No. You’re charging for your services because they have value. You are making other people’s lives easier in one way or another. You’re doing something they can’t do, don’t have time to do, or don’t want to do. You’re helping them personally, or their brand or company. You’re doing what you do so they can focus on all the other things they need to do. They pay you because they need you. An imposter pretends. You actually do.

You are worth more than your doubts may tell you. Don’t let them win. And by worth, I mean not just your rates, but also your value as a human. You have boundaries in place for a reason, and if someone isn’t respecting them, you can and should end that relationship. There is a respectful way to do it, of course, but any client who acts like they pay you so you should do whatever they want when they want it isn’t a client worth having. Let them go and make room for someone who appreciates what you have to offer and understands the price tag that goes along with your skills.

You absolutely should be doing what you’re doing. If you’re just getting started, that only means that you have plenty of time ahead of you to learn and grow and build your confidence. If you’ve been doing this for a while, you’ve earned your place. Why are you questioning it now? It’s okay to accept success and to be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Don’t let doubt, fear, or other people hold you back from saying, “I deserve this.” Because you do.

The time and energy you’ve invested into your talent is valuable, and it’s your right to stand up for yourself. If there are people who are condescendingly questioning you, or trying to bully you into working for less, they aren’t worth your time. Working with them only takes away your opportunity to work with the right people. Those people won’t question your rates or expertise. They’ll gladly pay you and breathe a sigh of relief that they have you on their team. Anything less is not worth your time. If those demanding and demeaning people are making you question yourself, stop. If anyone is a fraud in that situation, it’s them, not you.

If you’re having trouble believing in yourself sometimes, how about believing your clients? They aren’t stupid. They’re not giving you work or money out of pity. They’ve hired you because they believe you’ll do a good job for them. They will let you know if you’re not living up to their expectations. So If they don’t doubt your abilities, why should you?

Some people feel all of their success is a fluke and is going to disappear at any moment. But that isn’t going to happen to you. You’ve worked hard to build your client base and your reputation as an expert. You will continue to do so. People are going to notice and think, wow. Look at what you’ve accomplished. That’s amazing. Remember that those who don’t, those who might put you down or try to minimize your success, those people aren’t really criticizing you. They’re criticizing themselves. They’re disappointed in themselves for not being brave enough to do their own thing. They’re scared to take the risk and they’re making up reasons to justify it. Don’t fall into that trap. You’re better than that.

I don’t know why people treat themselves so much worse than they’d treat other people. Think about that internal voice that’s making you feel like an imposter. Would you talk to someone else the way it’s talking to you? If your friend came to you and said they were feeling insecure about their business, would you respond with something like, “Well, you clearly don’t know what you’re doing and shouldn’t be getting paid for it?” If you wanted to hire someone for services you need, would you respond with, “Wow. Those rates are stupid and no one should ever pay you that much?” If your family member had been working hard on her business for months and was excited about the momentum she was building, would you shut her down by saying, “Well, you’ve just gotten lucky because most people aren’t going to pay you to do that?” No! You wouldn’t say any of those things to others, so don’t say them to yourself either.

You don’t need validation from anyone but yourself. Be honest. Are you proud of the work you’re doing? Do you find fulfillment in running your business? Do you appreciate the freedom you have since you’ve taken control of your life? Do you acknowledge that you are a successful business owner? Or if you haven’t started yet, do you believe you are good enough to pursue your passion and make money doing it? If you can honestly answer no to any of those questions, take a step back and think about why. What can you do to turn it around? And if you did answer yes, as I’m sure you all did, then ask yourself why do you feel like an imposter?

I don’t know why it happens, but I don’t like it. Part of me wonders if so many people have been programmed to be falsely humble that they don’t know how to accept their accomplishments. It’s not considered good manners to boast or talk about yourself positively, but I think that idea is antiquated. It’s one thing to let your ego run wild and think you’re the greatest human to ever exist. It’s another to claim that you are better than anyone else. But it’s completely different to acknowledge that you are doing good work and have created something special. I think it’s important for us to allow ourselves to be proud.

We are not imposters. We are self-employed creatives, we love what we do, and we deserve every bit of success we earn for ourselves.

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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Well, this isn’t the episode I planned on releasing this week. But, a lot of things happened over the last several days that I didn’t plan on either. I won’t bore you with all of the convoluted details, but essentially the plumbing in my house went haywire and now my kitchen island and master shower are out of commission. I’ve been dealing with these massively noisy dehumidifiers that make it impossible to sleep, let alone record, so I’ve had to move into my own guest room, use my guest shower, and the cats are pretty annoyed that all of their stuff has been moved.

Now I’m talking to plumbers and water mitigation experts and insurance adjustors, trying to learn all the lingo and make sure I’m doing what I need to. There have been so many people in and out of my house to assess things, estimate things, try to fix things just to find out they can’t and someone else has to try something different. I’ve seen these various repair guys more in the last week than I’ve seen any of my friends in over a year. It’s kind of ridiculous. I think my house is trying to tell me I’ve been in it too long and need to leave a little more often.

But no, this episode isn’t about wonky house woes, it’s about dealing with unexpected situations without losing your mind. I know I talk about certain concepts quite a bit. Staying positive, going with the flow, believing that everything happens the way it’s meant to. It’s one thing to talk about it, but it’s another to actually put it into practice. So I want to share how I’ve applied my own advice in this situation, along with some observations about perspective and control.

There are so many times when it feels like the world is conspiring against you. Your clients all need you at the same time. You finish one thing and two more come up in its place. Everything is an emergency. The days are flying by and you don’t even know how long it’s been since you last got up from your chair. Add in the extra demands of your personal life, your family, and all those little things you need to tend to, and this is the typical life of a self-employed creative.

It’s easy to focus on the stress of it all. What is going wrong. How overwhelmed you’re feeling. It’s all real. There are days you want to scream, or cry, or where you just laugh because that’s all you can really do. But, that doesn’t help anyone, especially yourself. Getting frustrated doesn’t help you do your work faster. It probably slows you down. Getting mad doesn’t fix the problems. It just makes you feel worse. Thinking about how unfair it is doesn’t change what’s happening. So while I do think it’s important to feel your feelings and acknowledge them, I also think it’s necessary to reprogram the negative ones.

That’s where perspective can be helpful. I’m not happy about sleeping in my guest room. I love my tempurpedic bed and I typically don’t sleep well anywhere else. But, I am grateful that I have an extra bed in my home so I didn’t have to sleep on a couch or somewhere else. I also feel weird using my guest shower, but I am thankful I have an extra shower so I don’t have to hose myself off outside, which could be pretty awkward and not very effective. It’s nearly impossible to function the way I normally do without my kitchen island and sink. But, I’m fortunate enough to be able to swork around it, even if it’s not ideal. It’s difficult to get my work done with all of these people coming in and out all day, but how lucky am I to be able to be home while this work gets done? I really don’t know how people who have job jobs do it. I haven’t been able to go anywhere or schedule anything because I’m usually waiting for someone who could show up at any time, or who give me a 4-hour window for when they might get here. I can’t imagine how I would do all of this if I was still at my old job 30 minutes away.

Thinking about how good I have it, even in the bad times, gives me that perspective to understand that it might feel like a lot at once, but it could be worse. Instead of focusing on all of the inconveniences, I choose to appreciate all that is going right.

And when it comes to what isn’t going right, I have to remember that it’s completely out of my control. Now, I like to be in control. I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone. I wouldn’t call myself a control freak, because it’s not a necessity for me to be in charge. It just happens to be something I’m good at and often have to do in my work. But, oddly, understanding that I can’t control everything is part of how I’m able to solve problems. I’ve known a lot of people who can’t let go. When something goes wrong, they keep trying to fix it, where fix means make it exactly the way they wanted it. They aren’t able to step outside of the box and find a new solution. But as the Rolling Stones song goes, you can’t always get what you want.

Everything that’s happened recently is 100% out of my control. I didn’t cause the leaks in my plumbing. And I couldn’t pretend they didn’t exist, because that would’ve created bigger issues in the future. I can’t do anything to speed up the process with regards to how long it takes for these different companies to get the work done. And I can’t stop doing my work just because I have other things to tend to, at least not without detrimental repercussions that I’d rather avoid. I can’t control any of it. I can only adapt and figure out ways to do what I need to do in the midst of the chaos. It might not be ideal, but I will get things done.

I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. I know that often sound cliché. It’s one of those somewhat empty sayings people use when they’re trying to make people feel better, even though it usually doesn’t help. But I really do believe it. Everything happens the way it’s supposed to, when it’s supposed to. I accept that and do my best to embrace it. This whole kerfuffle started with a tiny drip in my faucet. I figured that should be an easy enough thing to fix. I’m usually pretty handy, so I watched some YouTube videos and figured I’d try it since it was a weekend and getting a plumber would take a while. I needed to take off the handle to find out which part I needed to get. I learned that the valves under my sink that are supposed to turn the water off, did not work. Long story short, I got an unexpected cold shower and flooded my bathroom. I did fix the drip, for what it’s worth, but I could only get the handle on backwards so I decided to just live with that until I could get a professional out.

But, while cleaning up the flood, I noticed some warping in the door frame by my shower that indicated it was water damaged, unrelated to that incident. My dishwasher had also started leaking whenever I ran it, so it seemed like the perfect time to utilize my home warranty and get someone to look at everything. I didn’t expect any of it to be such an ordeal, but I’m really glad I got them here when I did. Had I not noticed, or not called anyone, it could’ve gotten worse and caused more damage, or something worse like mold. So, not ideal, but probably a good thing it happened.

The major issues also happened when I had a few slower days of work. I had plenty I wanted to do with that time, but if it was in the midst of what I have coming up over the next few weeks, it would’ve been a disaster. The next couple of months are jam packed with projects. The repairs will hopefully get started soon and will still be a distraction and most likely an annoyance, but it shouldn’t require as much input from me, so it’ll be fine. If this happened a couple weeks from now, I might have had to let some people down and that wouldn’t be okay with me. Timing is everything.

And just like the timing of all the bad stuff worked out, so does the timing for some good. In the midst of all of this, Taylor, my future primary caregiver, graduated from high school and invited me to the celebration at their house in Boulder City, which is about 45 minutes away from me. It was on a Thursday afternoon. Normally that wouldn’t have been an issue, but I had 3 different appointment windows with people coming to the house and a Zoom meeting with a client. I really didn’t think there would be any way I could get there and that was disappointing because I’ve known that kid since he was born and it was important to me to be there. And not just because I’ve been bribing him his whole life so he’ll take care of me when I get old, but because his dad has been one of my best friends for 20 something years and certain moments are worth the effort.

By some miracle, everyone that day showed up in the early part of the window, finished quickly, and I was able to get there and spend a few hours away from work, away from house drama, to laugh with good friends. Like I said, timing is everything.

So, yeah. It’s been a challenging couple of weeks. My whole routine has been disrupted, I’m tired, and I have a lot to do. I’m feeling the pressure of everything that needs to be done with work, to get my house back in order, and to just maintain my sanity. But, my advice has helped me, as weird as that sounds. I keep grounded with perspective. It might be bad, but it could be worse. In the grand scheme of things, I’m still pretty lucky. I accept what I can’t control and adapt instead. Things still need to get done, and I can’t do them the way I’m accustomed to, so I have to figure out new ways. Maybe I’ll learn something in the process. And I remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and I’ll get through this. I’ll look back and laugh. I’m actually laughing quite a bit already because it’s all I can really do at this point. It really does help me feel better about everything that’s happening.

I hope you are having some better luck than I am, and if you’re not, then I hope you can join me in making the best of a bad situation.

In this episode, we discuss what it takes to run a creative business - managing your time and money, avoiding procrastination, knowing when to call it a day, and more. He can trace every step of his career back to his first job designing t-shirts in a shop in Vegas. That experience started the path that eventually led to working with Sting in Belgium and meeting George Lucas to develop a Star Wars apparel line for Skechers.

John explains his "Seagulls and Sandwiches" concept and the abundance mindset - there is plenty of work out there if you find your empty spot on the sand. He also talks about the importance of selling who you are before what you do, relying on your network, and knowing how much you need to make each month so you can successfully steer your own ship.

Connect with John @massecreative

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:38 I had enough of an education and an experience in things I was interested in, to figure out rather quickly that I could make a living from the things that I was good at.

01:52 My career can be traced sort of in a linear progression. So one job, or one account, or one relationship, always begets the next thing. 

02:52 I like the idea that when you're your own boss, and when you're a hyphenate, every day is different. Every day is unique.

05:23 I love being a dad. So I want to capture those little teeny moments, and I also can compartmentalize my life. And that's the biggest trick for being a self-employed creative is that you have to know your hours. You have to know your time. There has to be a familial understanding. And I know, for sure, from years of experience, you work way more than 40 hours when you work for yourself. So you have to be able to call it a day. And that is a discipline, especially if you are geared towards steering your own ship for the rest of your life. 

09:44 I don't panic on the slow days. I know my nut. And that's just slang for knowing what the house costs, what the Target bill is going to be, what all these pay subscriptions are going to run up, what my health insurance costs. I know what I need to make every month, and everybody should know that. You should always, always know that. And that's your baseline. From there, I can handle my billing, I can handle my goals, my wants, my needs, my desires. I know how to sell myself. I know how to keep the ship running.

The creativity comes so freely to so many of us that we suffer from imposter syndrome, that we're like, I shouldn't be getting paid for this. It doesn't cost me anything to draw. I can draw anything in a second. I can think up of a name and a story. I could write a book. Why would I get paid for that? Is that worth anything to anybody? And they're having these existential crises in their own head and I'm like, think about business. Business first. What are you doing? Pay attention to those things.

13:14 I think it's important to be liked before you can sell anybody anything. There is that balance of being liked before you can bill for it, but know when to bill for it. 

16:11 This is a necessary thing that we do, and therefore we have created purpose and meaning to our lives in doing something creative, and being entrepreneurs, and being our own bosses. So there's a joy in it. I always go with an open mind because I'm going to learn something with every business account that I have, or every little venture that I have. And then that's fun. And I always finish off with “I can't wait for the next one!"

20:37 There are better artists. There are funnier people. There are taller people. There are younger people. There are people that are all charisma. There are people that are just perfectionists at what they do. But you have to carve out that little piece of your talent, and your skill, and whatever you bring to the creative world. 

25:36 All the funny things that I did, all the experimental things that I did, all the goofy things have worked their way into this creative life of mine collectively, but it's because I picked one thing that I was very good at.

27:18 Seagulls and sandwiches goes with that concept of abundance, which is there's so much work out there. We're always like, you know, fighting for a job, or panicking, or nervous for a job. And it's like, no, no, the work is there. You've got to find the spot on the beach where there are no seagulls because the sandwiches are there. Some of them are under the sand. Some of them are everywhere, but you're going to find the place. And the trick is to look for a void. Look for a specialty. Look for something that you do that no one else does. 

28:53 When you're in that creative world, you want to find that specialty. Start there. Start with that one thing that you're better at than anyone else is that gives you the most passion and that is your starting spot. That's your place in the beach where you can sit down, relax, and have a sandwich and no one's competing with you. I call it a void. 

I created Muffalo Potato because I remember how amazing Mr. Rogers was when I was a kid. And I remember Captain Kangaroo. And I remember step-by-step drawing shows that I saw as a little, little kid, which I thought were fascinating. And I didn't see that anywhere in the market. I didn't see it anywhere in the world. And I was like, you know, since Mr. Rogers passed, there's no one else that's sort of taken his mantle as, you know, talking to kids. And I can't teach morality because I'm an amoral person at best, but I can teach kids how to draw, you know? And tell them that, look, it doesn't have to be perfect. It just needs to be fun. And I looked and I realized there's a void. There's a little spot in the YouTuber/influencer/social media world where nobody is teaching kids how to draw, and certainly not in the kind of weird way that I could figure it out. And that's been a wild success. 

36:55 Know your strengths and know how much time you could dedicate to your curiosity. And because creative fields tend to serve as adjuncts to other creative fields... for example, I started in apparel design, which involves drawing, which involves copy and typeface. So it was very easy for me to get into advertising from there. Because I was good at drawing, I could get into storyboards. Because I was good at setting up storyboards, I could get into scenic, right? So now I've got scenic and design, then that gets theatrical. But I'm also drawing, and so I can get cartoony, so I can create characters, right? But because I am a character, I could come up with an imaginative story of how that character came to be. And now I'm a writer. So the flow-through almost occurs, it almost incurs invisibly. It's in the background. 

The only thing, the only requirement, is that you have to succeed. There's no “I'm not going to try it.” Just do it. You can't fail at anything. Don't approach it like you're going to fail.

It's about completion. It's about finishing what you start. There's no room for procrastination in this world, especially because you do want bigger projects, you know? It's nice to have a day rate. It's nice to have four days’ worth of work. It's nice to have two days’ worth of work. It's really good to permalance, or to be, you know, as soon as this project is finished, they call you right for the next one. And that's where you build that security, and that experience, and you really get some momentum behind you.

47:37 Star Wars is what changed my life when I was seven years old. The movie came out, and I saw it, and it flipped me out. And I was upset over the years that, oh, they were making the prequels and now they're making the sequels. And I thought at this point, I would have been one of those storyboard artists that would have sat on George Lucas's lap and drawn. “Is it good, daddy? Is that?” You know, I thought that was gonna happen. But lo and behold, Skechers got the Star Wars account. And the entire company said, “Alright, John. You're heading to Lucasfilm in San Francisco, and you're going to talk to him about the new movie, 'The Force Awakens,' and you're going to build the apparel line.” And there it was. It was that arc that happened. 

There is the starting point. There is the through line, the mistakes, everything that's happened. The connection is there. I have zero regrets. If I did one thing differently, at a split second, just a different flap of the butterfly's wings, I'd have a completely different life than I have right now.

52:09 It goes back to who you are, because people like to work with you first, and then what you do second, right? And they're like, “Well, you sold me on the idea. Let's give it a shot.” The most amazing thing that you're going to do is the next thing. Always remember that. That's the way I feel, you know? What's the best thing you ever did, John? The next thing. The next thing is the best thing I ever did. But really, it's the kids. It's the two kids.

53:46 You've got to sell yourself first. Remember that. Not what you do, but who you are. You've got to lean on your clan. You have to know your nut. You have to know what you need to make. If you build it, and you break it, you can rebuild it again. So don't be afraid of stuff blowing up in your face, because you got there in the first place. Every little success is proof of concept. So take that, add value to everything you do, and earn a life away from your work. That's all you need to do. 

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl and join the Self-Employed Creatives club on Clubhouse every Wednesday at 4pm Pacific time.

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I recently encountered a situation that made me shake my head. All I kept thinking is this… if you get frustrated when a plan changes, you probably shouldn’t be in business. So let’s talk about that.

In this scenario, I was talking to a talent agent who represented an actor who was hired for a job. The actor had agreed to all the details, including the dates of the wardrobe fittings and the shoot itself. Then that actor booked another job and was no longer able to attend the fitting that was scheduled. The agent asked if it could be done via Zoom, which wasn’t possible. Zoom has made some things easy, but it has not given people the ability to try on clothing that is in a different location. So the solution was for the actor to drive to another city where fittings were happening. Production wouldn’t cover that cost, because the talent wasn’t honoring a commitment that was already made, but it allowed the actor to do both.

If you’re not familiar with how wardrobe works for production, there is actually a lot of thought that goes into what on camera talent wears. There are many people involved in the decision and it’s all based on what achieves certain stylistic goals. Actors usually bring some of their own clothing options from home, based on specific directions in terms of colors, sleeve lengths, type of attire, and all that fun stuff. There is also a wardrobe department that buys clothing based on the same direction. This way, there are several options for each person’s look, which the director or someone else in charge signs off on for the final product. Sometimes it’s what the stylist bought, sometimes it’s what an actor already owned, and sometimes it’s a combination of both.  

In this case, the actor did not follow instructions and brought clothing that wouldn’t work for any shoot because it all had logos for brands that were not licensed. Production wardrobe 101 – graphics and logos are bad unless they’re of the brand you’re promoting or otherwise preauthorized. That actor understood and offered to go shopping before the next fitting. Ultimately, the final look that was chosen included the pieces the actor had purchased.

So back to that conversation with the talent agent. I got an earful about how it was messed up that the actor had to drive to another city, pay for the travel, and go to two fittings in person just to end up wearing something that could’ve been purchased locally. The agent brought up the fact that Zoom was requested and there was “no reason” any of this had to be done in person. No acknowledgment of the fact that all of it was supposed to be done locally but the actor booked something else and missed the original time and location that was scheduled to do it. Just frustration bordering on anger that things didn’t work out as intended.

That’s the part that got me. No one knows ahead of time what the final outcome of anything is going to be. Nothing is certain, certainly not in production. It’s constantly changing from the moment prep begins until the final product is delivered. Art and creativity are subjective. They’re fluid. We often have to adapt and change direction along the way. It’s why it’s called a creative process.

A script can be written in a way the author thinks is perfect, but then an actor delivers a line with slightly different wording and it changes everything. If it makes the show better, the writer shouldn’t throw a temper tantrum because their exact wording wasn’t used. It’s a team effort.

If an editor chooses a piece of music for the cut she’s working on, but then a music supervisor gets licensing for another song that conveys the intended mood better, they’re going to change it.

In this case, the creative director wanted to see multiple options on each actor, and his favorite one ended up being one that the actor found. There was no way to know ahead of time how that was going to play out, so hearing someone so worked up over it, really struck me. I started to explain the intention and how this works and had to stop myself because this person didn’t want to hear logic. For whatever reason, the agent just wanted to complain. Somehow, it had gotten twisted that this actor’s time had been wasted, not factoring in that the actor was the one who messed up the original plan. In addition, the actor was getting paid very well for all of the time spent in these fittings and on set. What it came down to was simply frustration over change. And I really believe that if you are a person who gets frustrated when things change – whether a schedule shifts, an idea evolves, or a plan takes a different direction – you don’t have any business being in business.

Like with so many things, it all goes back to mindset. You can choose to get frustrated, or you can choose to go with the flow. You can choose to feel like you wasted your time because plans changed, or you choose to be grateful to have been hired. Especially when you’re getting paid for your time. That’s what I’m talking about here, when something changes within the scope of what you’re already getting paid to do. That actor doesn’t get paid based on what wardrobe is used. The actor gets paid for the time for each fitting and actually working on set. Nothing that happened took away any of that.

I’ve worked with voice actors who have recorded a script for which they were paid. Then the client changed the script and the voice actor had to record it again. He got paid for it again, but for some reason he got really upset that he had to do it the second time. I never did understand why. The change had nothing to do with him. It just happens sometimes.

If I think about how many times I’ve spent hours, sometimes even days, doing part of my job just to have the whole thing change and go in a completely different direction… if I let that bother me, I’d never survive in this industry. Or my head would explode. It’s not that I don’t understand why it’s frustrating. I’ve been there, too. Times I’ve put a lot of effort into something and then it turns out it wasn’t needed. That doesn’t feel great, but I always have to go back to the logic. I was paid for my time to do that. My client didn’t change direction because of something I did, or didn’t do. It’s just the nature of a project. So I could get mad about it and complain about all the time I wasted, or I can accept it and laugh about it. It’s another story about this crazy, unpredictable world where I get to make money doing silly things like finding lucha libre costumes, researching film-friendly cabins, or going behind the scenes at the soundcheck for a band’s residency show.

Why should I care if I have to stop doing one thing and start doing something else? Why should you? It’s one thing if a client starts piling on more responsibilities than you agreed to, or they completely change the scope of the job. That’s a different conversation. But, if the change means you just have to do more of the work you’ve already agreed to do, don’t worry about it.

We, as humans, have a tendency to make up problems in our heads. We give too much weight to situations that aren’t worthy of our brain space. We sometimes forget how much power we have to choose our reactions and how we feel. If you already spent time on something, and then it turns out not to be needed, that time is already gone. You can’t get it back. Getting frustrated about it isn’t going to change that. It’s not going to help anything. All you can do is move forward with the new plan, which might change again.

It doesn’t mean you have to love change. I surely have moments where I would very much prefer for things to stay the same. But it’s not always in my control. What is in my control is how I respond.

One of the most important skills for business owners is adaptability. There’s a reason it’s come up in almost every interview I’ve done in the last year. We have to be able to navigate changes or we’re not going to succeed. There’s a reason so many people use the phrase “the only constant is change.” There’s no escaping it. Change is inevitable and it’s what keeps life interesting, right? As self-employed creatives, change can give us opportunities. It’s all a matter of how we decide to interpret the situation. We don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, but, to quote Beck, “Things are going to change. I can feel it.”

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

The Self-Employed Creatives club meets Wednesdays at 4pm Pacific time on Clubhouse.

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We are all familiar with procrastination. I was a pro procrastinator in school. I actually found that I couldn’t write a paper if I had too much time to do it. I couldn’t get in the head space and I’d distract myself in any way possible to avoid it. But, if it was the night before it was due, I could crank it out quickly. I guess I’ve always been one who works well under pressure.

It makes sense that we put off doing things we don’t want to do. Because we don’t want to do them. We’ll find anything else to do to avoid things like admin work and bookkeeping. Or around the house, it’s things like cleaning or fixing that broken chair. We’d rather spend our time doing the things we enjoy. That’s pretty much common sense.

I don’t think procrastination is always a conscious choice, though. Sometimes we don’t actively think, I’m going to put this off. Instead, we do other things and never quite get around to it. I may have been without working hot water in one of my bathroom sinks for almost 2 years. I wasn’t intentionally not getting it fixed. I just didn’t make the call because I didn’t think about it in the right moment. It sounds ridiculous, I know. And I’d love to say that I ultimately realized that and called a plumber, but I did not. My friend sometimes lets me borrow her husband for handy work, and she sent him over one day to fix it for me. It was such a simple thing and I laughed at myself for letting it go that long. It just hadn’t been important to me because the cold water still worked and there was another sink next to it that worked fine.

But sometimes we have to put off doing things we actually want to do because we have other priorities. Time gets away from us and there is only so much we can do. So when we don’t have time to do everything, something has to give. For most of us, that usually means our personal projects get put on the backburner while we’re tending to paying clients. Other times it means letting things pile up because they don’t make an immediate impact. You know you need to scan those receipts so you can add them into your accounting software, but you’re not going to miss out on a new job because you haven’t done that yet.

I recently found myself in a place where I’m sure you’ve been before. I overcommitted. I was already juggling multiple projects when a new opportunity came my way. I had turned down a couple of other jobs during the same time, but this one was more appealing. It was for a major brand, there was a celebrity involved, and it was a new client looking to build a team in Vegas, where he will be relocating soon. I knew some other people on the job and like working with them, and I got a really good vibe from the client. I was up front about my prior commitments, and we worked out a schedule that made sense for both of us.

I knew it would be a busy couple of weeks, but I knew I could handle all of it. I would never sign up for a job if I thought I couldn’t deliver, so I want to be clear about that. My definition of overcommitting doesn’t mean I’ve agreed to 30 hours a day and am going to have to sacrifice sleep to get it all done. To me, it means that work might infringe upon my typical boundaries in terms of my normal hours, but within reason. Because I do prioritize my down time, I wouldn’t have said yes if the new project was going to push too much into the evenings or weekend. Based on the information I had, it was all manageable.

Of course, by some twisted fate it seems the universe, which is normally on my side, conspired against me. Every one of those projects became chaotic and took up way more time than intended. They were billable hours, so that wasn’t an issue, but it made it impossible to do the other things I had wanted to do during that time. It all worked out, as it always does, but by the end of last week I was just laughing about the whole thing. That’ll teach me to say yes to a job when I know I don’t really have the time. I say that now, but despite the craziness, I’m still glad I took on that project. I would make the same choice again.

During that time, I did have moments of feeling the pressure. It felt like every time I got one thing done, there were 4 more in its place to do. I really had to rely on my prioritization skills to make sure everyone had what they needed from me in a timely manner. I made sure to meet all of my client obligations, but I didn’t end up with any time to work on my personal projects like this podcast. And I like working on this podcast.

We had a discussion about time management during one of our weekly Clubhouse chats and I mentioned what was going on. I said that the reason I wasn’t freaking out about it is because I always work ahead when I can. That’s what I’m calling anticrastination. When I have some free time, I use it to do the things I know I might not have time for later. That’s not to say I don’t take advantage of some quiet time when I get it, because it is pretty rare sometimes and I think it’s important to take a day or two to not be productive when the opportunity arises. But, when I do get a break, I have to consider the best ways to use it.

When the Vegas season of Intervention ended, I suddenly had a lot of extra time that I hadn’t had for 7 months. I enjoyed have time to just breathe and take it easy. But, then I also started thinking about all the things I hadn’t been able to do during that time. My top priority in my personal projects is this podcast. I did not like the feeling of scrambling to get an episode done in time. I’ve never missed a publishing date, but there were a few close calls. So I thought about which parts of the podcast take the most time, and those are obviously the longer interview episodes. So I started scheduling interviews. I think I recorded 5 in about a week. As of now, I haven’t even edited all of those episodes, which means my plan worked. Because during those crazy weeks, there’s no way I would’ve had time to fully produce a new interview episode. But because I recorded in advance, I never missed a deadline.

I didn’t know how long that break would be, so I didn’t want to waste it. I’m really glad I recorded those interviews. As it turned out, the break would only be 3 weeks and then I started working on another show. 9 weeks passed by before I had an opportunity to record another interview. If I hadn’t worked ahead, I wouldn’t have been able to keep consistent releases, and I would’ve let myself down. Anticrastination for the win.

So how do you effectively anticrastinate? And by the way, I don’t think anticrastination is a word. The angry red squiggles in my Word document tell me it’s not. But I don’t care. You’ve probably learned that I make up words sometimes, and I’m okay with that.

First, figure out what you can do early. Then, do it now. That’s it.

No one can predict the future, and most of us never really know when jobs are going to come up, which makes it difficult to prepare. The best thing you can do is think about the things you know will have to get done, and then determine which of those can be done in advance. Things like social media posts – you can create the graphics and write the captions and then either schedule the posts using an app, or at least get everything ready so all you have to do on the day is post. If you’re a writer, think of some evergreen pieces you can write early so you’ll have them available if you’re in a bind and don’t have time to write something new one week. If you’ve been wanting to take a class or work with a coach, schedule it as soon as possible and get started while you have the time.

Anticrastination is the opposite of putting things off. It’s doing them now. It’s taking advantage of the time you have right now to do things you might not have time for later. Instead of knowing you have things to do but you don’t want to do them, it’s knowing you’re going to have to do these things later anyway, so you might as well do them now when you’re not feeling pressured. Save yourself the stress and work ahead when you can. You’ll thank yourself later.

She's created a new identity for herself, one that evolves with her as she continues to grow. In this episode, we discuss how she turned makeup into a business by developing her own custom makeup line, but also why she wants to be known for more than what she does. Who she is is more important. She explains what it means to live a life of purpose, on purpose.

Now, as an intuitive life coach, she helps others heal their traumas and move confidently towards their goals. We talk about changing narratives, taking accountability for our lives, and why the hardest job we'll ever have is the work we do on ourselves.

Connect with Song @makeupbysong

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:43 And I thought, people do this for a living? I lived in Washington. I wasn't living in LA, in Hollywood, where this was normal. I wanted to be a veterinarian or a firefighter, teacher, you know, helping that way.

03:07 Makeup artists today have to be ready to produce things being thrown at them at all times. I always say you have to be a quick thinker. You have to be able to calm the talent, build them up, make them feel amazing, you know, and still make the client happy.

07:28 So we are absorbing, as makeup artists, a lot of the insecurities, the stress, energetically. So I always say when I get home, I'm just drained because I've taken on all their anxiety and insecurities, and then I'm using all my energy to be like, “You're amazing. There's a reason why you got this job.” and reframe their narrative that they've got going on in their head at that moment.

08:42 When I mentor makeup artists, I’m like, look, it's not about you. This isn't about you. This isn't about how you feel about something. It's really about coming together as a team.

11:03 When you look at kids who are a part of a team, the ones that are coachable are going to be the ones that actually do better, that work well with people, that are a team player. 

11:52 Being an entrepreneur and a freelancer, I'm always looking for opportunities to build a business in any fashion.

15:19 I really don't like to be known as just a makeup artist. I like to be known as somebody who does makeup, and somebody who's knowledgeable about it, and has their own makeup line. But as far as being that as my identity, that was the biggest thing of my growth is to not monetize on my soul, on my life, and being like, that's my identity. I think being a makeup artist should be something that should be looked at as like, this is what I do. But then who I am goes deeper than that.

16:55 I am in so much gratitude for the pause that 2020 brought. Under those circumstances I decided to take and invest 100% into my personal growth.

Let's go back to playing through the day. Instead of looking at dishes being daunting, I started putting music on and I started reframing that narrative. I get to do the dishes. I get to, not I have to. There's something that happens in your body, and in your mind, when you say “I have to do this.” There's a resistance. But when you say, “I get to,” it feels better.

23:54 I realized that I was constantly running from myself, whether it was jumping from relationship to relationship, like you had said, or over shopping. I was drinking it away. I was eating it away. I was relationshipping it away. I was sleeping it away, whatever it was. But once you take and go inside, and you start figuring out who you are, it's a game changer. Nobody can tell you who you are. 

26:55 I used to call it my imaginary dinner table. I would invite everyone over to my dinner table. Anybody could sit at my table. I mean, they were backstabbers. They were jealous people. They were all kinds. I just wanted a lot of friends because I think that made me feel like I was somebody. But as I've grown, and as I've found out who I am, the less people I'd rather have around. I want more quality. And those people that are around me, that are my quality people, understand me. 

29:24 When you say yes to somebody, you're actually saying no to yourself. So making sure that when you do say yes to something, it's something that you're like, okay, I'm willing to give up my time. Time is something nobody gets back. You cannot make more time. You can make more money, right? And also, the people that you have in your life, if they're going to be upset and not honor you because you don't feel like going out, then you need to do your checks and balances. Because those people, the reason why they're upset is because they need to fill something up within themselves, and they're putting that pressure on you. 

34:00 The attitude of gratitude of just being like I'm so grateful for this very moment where I am completely being provided for. I'm in gratitude. Regardless of the fact that my career ended. Regardless of all that stuff. The attitude of gratitude was also the most important thing that I did in 2020 when I was growing. I woke up every day in gratitude for that day to be able to create, and to play. Not to stress. Not to take it for granted. To play and create.

36:41 A Goddess is a grower. A Goddess is somebody who is constantly thriving to be herself, to give to others, to help others with her powers and her mindset and her growth. And so then I became a SASS Goddess – Short And Sweet with Song, and then Goddess. And I want to encourage women to step into that goddess power of growth, of being powerful, being confident in who they are.

The hardest work anyone will ever do - it's not parenting. It's not being a good daughter or son. It's not being a good coworker, or not being a good boss. The hardest job there ever is out there is the work that you're going to do on yourself. Because most people would rather shop it away, rather eat it away, drink it away, gamble it away. Because there's a multitude of different things to do all day long that can make you avoid yourself. And people are doing that.

43:16 Once I woke up and I took 100% responsibility for everything that happened in my adult life, is when things started to change.

46:58 And I started to say I didn't like who I was, how I reacted, regardless of how he came at me. I had no power. I gave my power away every single time, and that bothered me. I didn't like that because I want to know who I am, be in control of who I am. That is the real power. 

49:50 Living your purpose also means knowing who you are, your authentic self. And when you know who you are and your authentic self, you're going to find your purpose, whatever that is. That's what's happened for me, and that's how I know that that is the truth.

51:14 Stop thinking. Stop overthinking of what could go wrong. Stop overthinking about what somebody else may think. My biggest advice is get out of your head, get into your body, and start doing what feels good. 

54:25 You could just be sitting down, being content, and just enjoying music. That's meditation. It's being present. It’s being in the moment.

55:05 Now I live 24 hours at a time. I'm in the present moment as constantly as possible.

Authenticity has been a hot topic for a while now. But what does it mean to be your "true authentic self," and why is that so important?

The full episode transcript is available at http://aardvarkgirl.com/authenticity

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I’ve noticed a trend amongst the people I’ve talked to in the last year. Authenticity comes up over and over again as one of the most important traits. It can sound a little odd – if you’re not yourself, then who are you? But who you are inside isn’t always how you reflect yourself on social media, in business meetings, and everywhere else. Sometimes it’s intentional, because you’re trying to present a specific image of how you want people to see you. Other times it’s subconscious, and you’re subtly changing yourself to try to fit in. That’s not always a bad thing, but if it takes away from who you truly are, it can cause problems down the line.

What exactly is authenticity and why is it still on trend? Why is everyone looking for everyone’s “true authentic self?” I think it’s because we’re tired of being manipulated by marketing, media, and sales gimmicks. We don’t want the façade. We want to relate to others on a human level and we can’t do that if someone else is living a “perfect” life all the time. It seems we’re yearning for people to be real and vulnerable and talk about the challenges everyone faces so we don’t feel like we’re the only one who feels a certain way or is dealing with certain issues. Despite all the great things technology brings us, I think that the constant connection is actually making us feel more disconnected than ever. We’re not actually talking and communicating. We’re aggressively typing words with our thumbs and conveying emotions through yellow faces and other emojis, in as few characters as possible. The letter K has actually become a complete sentence, and a complete question. K? K.

But people have been trying to show the best version, not the real version, of themselves for a long time. That’s nothing new. I always think back to a conversation I had with a friend in my 20s. She didn’t understand why I wouldn’t get dressed up and put on a bunch of makeup to go on a date. But that’s not who I am. I don’t wear a lot of makeup, and I don’t mind getting dressed up, but only if the occasion calls for it. I don’t want to present some guy with a false image so he thinks I look a certain way all the time and then months later it’s like surprise! I’m actually just a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl who doesn’t spend much time getting ready. I always figured he should see me for who I am from the very beginning, so I wasn’t wasting anyone’s time, including my own. I think that’s why so many relationships start falling apart, because people can only put on an act for so long before their true selves start to show. So why not show it from the beginning and see what happens when you’re starting off from an honest place?

People do it in job interviews all the time, too. They try to look the part and think of the perfect way to talk about themselves to impress the person interviewing them. It makes sense why they do that. There’s only one chance to make that first impression and stand out amongst all of the candidates. But once you get into that job, you have to deliver on what you promised, and sometimes that’s when people fall short. Now that I think about it, I’ve never actually done the forced interview thing. I’ve been working for 24 years but I’ve always been myself in the process. I got one job through a referral at an informal meal. Another one I went in for an interview in my normal clothes and ultimately got the job because the owner thought I was quirky, and he liked that. And my last job I was recruited by the owner of a company. I didn’t think I wanted to take the job, so I ignored the calls for months. I finally agreed to meet with him so he’d stop calling, and I showed up in jeans and a t-shirt and got the job. And since I’ve been working for myself, I’ve never made any forced effort with a client, even if it’s my first time meeting them. I mean, these days people are mostly only getting dressed for the top half that can be seen on a Zoom screen, so maybe we’ve all relaxed our expectations about appearance a little bit. People seem to be quite proud of themselves when they manage to put on pants.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t make an effort in our lives. But we should always be striving to be the best version of ourselves we can be, not just act like it. And part of that comes down to knowing who you are. Self-awareness has been coming up a lot in conversation lately, too, and it’s all tied together. You can’t be who you are if you don’t know what’s important to you. And if you’re trying to be who you think other people want to be, instead of who you actually are, you’re probably going to end up frustrated and exhausted. It just takes too much energy to pretend all the time, doesn’t it?

According to the good old Webster’s dictionary (do people still use dictionaries?), authentic means “true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character.” Does that describe you? If not, how can you change your actions in a way that aligns more genuinely with who you are?

When I first started Aardvark Girl, I had this idea in my mind that I had to showcase my professional side all the time. I’m helping people with their businesses, so I need to be business-y. So I’d post my tips and try to be motivational and offer my best advice. My quotes were authentic and reflected what I truly believe, but there wasn’t much character there. The more I figured out what I wanted my business to be, the more I figured out that that wasn’t the best portrayal of me. When I really figured out my target audience, self-employed creatives, it started to click more, and I’ve slowly added more of my personality into my work. I still keep a lot of my personal life to myself, but I do share more than I used to.

I’ve only ever really known how to be me. I’ve always told people I think that’s why I don’t enjoy wearing costumes. Halloween is not my jam. Every time I’ve tried, I feel incredibly awkward, and I really think it’s because I’m not comfortable being anyone other than who I am. Some people love to pretend for a night, but it’s just not for me. That’s why now if someone convinces me to go to anything themed or requiring a costume, I’ll wear something I’d normally wear. A couple years ago I went as High School Amanda. I have this old pair of bell bottoms that everyone signed one year, so I dug those up and wore those, one of my old Nirvana t-shirts from back then, got a new pair of Dr Martens and parted my hair down the middle, and put on some eyeliner. That was it. There was a 70s themed party before that where I wore a different, but new, pair of bell bottoms, the same Dr Martens and a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. I’m not kidding. I really only know how to be me.

Being authentic is not just about appearance, though. It’s about personality and actions, too. There are times I feel it works against me because people want me to be someone I’m not. They want me to loosen up, or be more fun, or whatever it is that normal people do. But it’s not that I’m uptight, I just know what I like and what I don’t, and I’m okay honoring myself. I don’t drink and go to a bunch of parties and do the Vegas club thing. I have fun in my own ways, and that’s okay with me. I’m a little goofy and sarcastic and I usually don’t show enough emotion, but that’s just the way I am. I think we all have to do what’s right for ourselves and let others do the same. You do you, right?

That attitude has really helped me all these years. When I meet a new person, whether it’s a client, a vendor, a stranger at the grocery store, I act in a way that’s true to me. I’m nice, I laugh a lot, I make odd comments every now and then. That’s how I got the name Aardvark Girl. I do what I can to help those around me. And that’s why people want to be around me. Not because I’m pretending, but because I am. I don’t need to wear certain clothes or fake a certain personality to accomplish my goals. So I’m not going to waste my energy trying. I just don’t see the point.

I’ve been participating in these weekly Clubhouse chats in various groups. We often go live on Instagram after the discussion to keep the conversations going in a less formal setting, and it ends up being a lot of fun. We are definitely silly, and we make each other laugh, while also talking about things that matter. I had a realization a few weeks ago that part of why I’ve been enjoying it so much is it gives me a break from talking business all the time. It’s more of a social hangout with friends. They also have their own businesses, but by that point we just talk about whatever comes up. And we all seem to be our authentic, silly, fun selves. It’s great.

Being a single person business can be isolating at times in normal circumstances. Add in working entirely from home for a year without being able to see people in person, and it’s easy to understand why it’s taken such a toll on so many people. It’s been a great reminder of how important it is to socialize with friends and to have fun. Sometimes you put so much focus on your work that it’s easy to forget to honor the “you” part of you. I think it’s important to embrace those parts of you – the quirky side, the silly side, the hobbies that others might find weird, the crazy ideas that no one understands but you know are going to work. Be who you are, unapologetically. The world needs you just as you are.

If you’re enjoying this podcast, please leave a review and share with your friends! You can find me @aardvarkgirl on all social platforms and the “Self-Employed Creatives” club meets every Wednesday at 4pm Pacific time on Clubhouse. We’d love for you to join us there. https://www.joinclubhouse.com/club/self-employed-creati

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The full transcript is available at https://aardvarkgirl.com/painandgrief

You’ve probably heard me talk about the importance of setting boundaries with your clients, saying no, and making sure you’re taking care of yourself so you don’t burn out. As business owners, we need to protect ourselves from those who think they can control our time or the way we work. We get to choose when, where, and how we get the job done. That typically boils down to communication and it’s pretty straight forward to understand.

But what happens when we can’t really say no? Not because we’re afraid or timid, but because we’ve made a commitment and people are relying on us. We can’t always shut everything down because we’re not feeling well or are dealing with something personal that’s pulling our focus. There are times when we have to power through whatever it is because we said we would get something done. That can get pretty tricky because you need to take care of yourself, but the rest of the team still needs you to stay on track.

I personally deal with chronic pain issues. I don’t always know when the bad days are going to hit me, so I can’t exactly plan for it. Sometimes I wake up knowing I have a full day of work ahead and it’s going to be difficult because my head is throbbing. But I have responsibilities, so I have to suck it up.

Why? Because if I don’t, my clients are going to get behind on what they need to do. As great and understanding as they all are, it’s not always practical to think they can put everything on hold because I’m having a bad day. I actually don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone to do that. I don’t make my pain an issue. It’s not that I hide it, but I don’t generally talk about it because I don’t need the pity and I know I’m not going to let it affect my work.

Of course, I still use my basic time management and prioritization skills to know what I absolutely have to get done and what I can possibly put off another day if I need to. That self-awareness is the biggest key to all of this for me. I know myself and my workflow well enough to know what I need to do and when. That means I can quickly assess what’s going on to figure out that balance between taking a break I need while also fulfilling my obligations on time.

When I sat down to work on a recent crazy day, I looked over everything that needed to be done. There would be no way to predict what the show might need, but I would have to stay on top of my emails and text messages in case something happened. The marketing video had a concrete deadline and I had to make sure that was priority, that everyone did what they needed to do so we could get a new file uploaded by a certain time. The sale was still a week way, so I knew I could put that on the backburner if needed. As new requests came in, I gave them the same thought – does it need to be done today or can it wait?

Of course, the way I work, I also know that putting things off can be dangerous because I never know what’s going to come up unexpectedly. So that day, I still got everything done because I felt okay to do it. Sometimes, though, you need to take a nap. Or spend time not staring at a screen. Or go outside. Or hang out with your pet for a bit. Or whatever you need to do to make you feel better, even if it’s only temporary. The important thing is to keep realistic about what still needs to get done and where you can hold off if you need to.

Physical issues come with their own challenges, but what happens when the problems are mental or emotional? It can be really hard to keep going with business as usual when some part of your world is falling apart at the same time. If you’re dealing with a loss or are worried about something, it’s hard to keep your head in the game. But sometimes you don’t really have another choice. Of course, everything is a choice and you can decide to brush off your obligations, but you should probably consider the repercussions to doing that.

Unfortunately, I have experience with this too. The day before I was leaving to work on my first rocket launch, my cousin died, completely unexpectedly. The job was a pretty high pressure one already. It was my first one and even though I’d been prepped by the best, sometimes you can’t really prepare for those jobs until you’re in them. I have a pretty strong ability to compartmentalize. Meaning, I can put feelings aside when I need to in order to focus on something else. It’s not avoidance or denying they exist, but it’s a way of telling myself, “Hey, you don’t have time for this right now so let’s put it over here for a minute and we’ll come back to it at a better time.”

In that case, it was probably good that the job required nonstop attention. It was busy and a little chaotic, but also what an incredibly cool opportunity to be part of something like that. The day the rocket was supposed to launch, it rained, and we had to push everything another day. The next day it almost got pushed again, but it ended up happening. But it happened much later in the day than usual, and I was supposed to leave that day. In normal circumstances, I would’ve stayed an extra day to make sure everything got wrapped out properly. But it was at that point I had to have an honest check-in with myself. I needed to go home. It had been a long several days in the cold, without much sleep, away from home without any of my normal life comforts like healthy food, my Tempurpedic bed, my cats, all that stuff. So I talked to my client, explained what was going on (I hadn’t mentioned it prior because I knew I wasn’t going to let it affect my job performance) and he was fine with me leaving as scheduled.

Like with everything else, handling these situations often comes down to two things – honesty and communication.

By honesty, I mostly mean being honest with yourself. What state of mind are you in? Can you still do the job? Can you get through it without making mistakes or creating too much of a burden on yourself or anyone else involved? If you try to show up, will you break down and wish you would’ve stepped back? If you choose to cancel, what will that do to your relationship with your clients? Will it hurt your income in any long-term sense, and can you handle that? It’s a lot to think about when your brain is likely tied up with other things, but it should be a decision based on logic as much as emotion, if not more. Only you can know what you really need to do, and even that can be pretty difficult to determine if you’ve never been in that kind of situation before. But hopefully you know yourself well enough to make an educated guess about what the best move will be.

Then it’s all about communication. I don’t think it’s a good idea to share the details of your personal drama with everyone. That’s not the way I handle things. Everyone is different, though, so you have to do what feels right to you. It’s also important to be mindful of how you communicate to make sure your explanations don’t come across as excuses. In general, I like to believe that people are understanding because chances are they’ve been in similar situations themselves. But, no matter what is going on in our lives, we have to remain professional.

When you’re communicating something difficult, it’s also important to give as much notice as possible and provide them with a solution. If you know that you aren’t going to be able to deliver what you’ve promised, or perform effectively on a job, you have to let the client know before it’s too late. And give them an alternate plan so they aren’t the ones stuck scrambling to pick up the slack for you. If you can’t be available for the time you’ve committed, find someone who can do it for you, and give them that option. Then they can either accept or decide to use someone else. If they go with your referral, though, make sure you properly onboard that person so it’s a seamless transition. This will show your clients that even though your priorities had to shift, you didn’t leave them hanging. This is a good way to keep a strong relationship so you can come back when you’re ready.

Also, if you decide to power through, make sure you can still deliver. It comes back to being honest with yourself and what you can handle. While it’s admirable to try to pull through when you’re struggling, it’s worse to say you can do it and then fall short, especially if it can negatively impact the client or project. And if it gets to be too much, be honest. At that point, it’s better to let them know that you’re not at your best and you are concerned that you won’t be able to give them what they need than to halfway commit and not do a good job. In most cases, I think people will be understanding and work with you to figure it out. If not, it’s probably not the right fit for you anyway and you should take care of yourself.

It’s hard to work through pain, grief, and other turmoil. There are times when you just want to shut down your brain and go lay in bed, lose yourself in a book, or binge watch a mindless show to take your mind off of what’s going on. Other times, you want to surround yourself with family and friends who can help you through a situation. And sometimes your head and your heart are just not in what you have to do, and you have to figure out how to get through it without letting anyone down, including yourself. And despite what you want to do, there are times when what you have to do is to push through it all because you made a commitment and backing out of it just isn’t a real option. When that happens, do what you have to do to get through it and then, when the job is done, take care of yourself.

Figure out what is urgent and what can be done later. Take breaks if you need to. Communicate with the other people involved and be honest with yourself in deciding what you have to do. Bad things happen. We can’t always control the timing of it all, and sometimes we have to decide whether it’s more important to honor our present internal needs or our previous commitments. No matter what the situation is, be kind to yourself in the process. Sometimes that’s all you can really do.

In this episode, we're talking about his career in the music business, doing what you're passionate about, and the two things that will change your life: the people you meet and the books you read.

He's played shows countless major artists, but the highlights of his career have been singing with Prince and opening for Journey. Even though live shows have sustained his career, he always has some backup plans in place.

When COVID shut everything down, he pivoted into the road trip business with his Free Bird RV Fleet. And while his crystal ball is busted, he's looking forward to playing more show and seeing the artistic explosion that's bound to come out of the shutdown.

The full transcript is available at https://aardvarkgirl.com/shawneiferman/

Connect with Shawn @shawneiferman

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

The "Self-Employed Creatives" club meets Wednesdays at 4pm Pacific time on Clubhouse. 

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00:41 Since I was 15 years old, I've been making a living butchering songs wherever there's a bar and a place to plug in some stuff. I just got really, really lucky/fortunate. And it comes with hard work.

03:04 As a songwriter, I made a living just writing songs in the 90s. I've had stuff placed in TV and film. And as a songwriter, it's a different ego. It's a different beast that you're feeding, because the truly creative side is really out there.

05:11 Persistence wins, I guess, because out of nowhere, like two-and-a-half-hours into this thing, he goes “Come on up.” And so I got to sing with Prince. That's the highlight of my whole music career.

08:25 I set myself up for other things besides music, because I knew that my hands weren't gonna be able to play guitar forever. I’m not gonna be able to sing forever. 

11:17 The only thing that's missing [in Vegas] is the songwriting culture.

12:00 What a spectacular opportunity to be able to share a stage with Guns and Roses and Goo Goo Dolls on New Year's Eve in the entertainment capital of the world. And then literally the same night - I wish I was joking - we had booked at Texas station starting at 11 o'clock at night. 

14:45 All my favorite family vacations were road trips in that RV with my kids. And so when COVID hit, we poured gasoline on that fire, and I now have 14 RVs. Some of them we're customizing and renovating and flipping for sale, and some of them are in the Free Bird RV fleet. It's something I've always loved to do. Road trips have always been fun, you know? It's a cool thing, and so we're now in the road trip business.

17:00 You got to meet different, better people and read different, better books. It's everything. The people that you meet, and the books you read, will change your life. You don't have to worry about what to do. You'll figure out a way how to do it by those two things. They'll just kind of present themselves. 

21:23 I really believe in that whole balance in all things. It's a shift, I think, a paradigm shift of, I could be a musician or I could be in the music business. And I don't know what happened, quite frankly. It was probably somebody I met or a book I read. But I decided a long time ago to be in the music business. I didn't mind bands I was in, or myself, being thought of as a product. Whatever it took to be able to balance my creative life with a business model. 

24:04 We started to get the offers that we got, from 33rd Street records all the way to Universal and Interscope. A handful of interesting conversations were going on. And I think the deal breaker across the board, just six months later, was some guy at some label in some office going, “Oh, well, what are your MySpace numbers?” That was it. 

29:14 I created an LLC a few years back that is just solutions for working musicians. I'm in conversations with Fender right now to sell the design to this [built-in guitar stand] to start building and selling the Fender Standacaster. 

35:24 Collaborate. You don't know everything. Collaborating with those people, understanding how other people write songs, figuring out what why a drummer plays what a drummer would want to play in a song versus what's best for the song. It’s empathy, I guess. Treat everybody how you want to be treated is an interesting way to look at your musical endeavors. Because part of collaborating is the audience, and until you put yourself in the seat of that person out there, you can't really make a living out of this. You can't do it at a certain level. You have to make it about them. 

39:00 What COVID, I believe, globally is going to produce is the time and the energy and the passion of the average creative person has now been kind of massaged into this, well, what do I want to do? I think there's going to be poetry, books, music. I think the films that are going to come out… some of the scripts, the stuff that's going to come out of this shutdown will be a renaissance. I think some of the paintings we're going to see, and that there's going to be an artistic explosion. 

I'd love it if you'd share your favorite things about working for yourself, too! DM me on social @aardvarkgirl and join me in the "Self-Employed Creatives" club on Clubhouse. We chat on Wednesdays at 4pm Pacific time to discuss these topics in a fun, safe and collaborative space: https://www.joinclubhouse.com/club/self-employed-creati

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These are in no particular order, because it’s impossible to say what I love more at any given time. I do my best to keep a healthy dose of gratitude on hand at all times, because I do know it’s a privilege to be doing this. But I worked hard to get here, and I work hard to stay here.

Maybe one of the most obvious perks of self-employment is the freedom. I am my own boss, which means I decide what I can do on a daily basis. I don’t have to concern myself with looking a certain way, dressing a certain way, or being around a bunch of people when I’d rather be alone. I choose which projects to take on, which means I am engaged in my work and never have to fake it. I don’t have to fill the day with meetings and menial tasks that don’t serve me. I get to focus on whatever I want to do in that moment.

To bring it back down to earth a bit, it doesn’t mean there’s no structure, but there is definitely way more flexibility than working for someone else. I still have clients and deadlines and have to prioritize those over things I want to do personally sometimes. And because I’m a one-person company, it means all the work falls on me unless I outsource it. So it’s not that I don’t have to do all that admin work and other little things, it just means I get to pick when to do it.

Owning my time is another of my favorite things. I choose what hours I work, when I want to take breaks, and I have the ability to be spontaneous. I never liked asking permission to do the things I wanted to do. I’ve always been responsible with my time and work and always felt the corporate structure was too restrictive. I don’t know how many times I was stuck in an office with nothing to do because my work was done for the day but it wasn’t 5pm yet. I don’t like wasting time or filling it arbitrarily, and now I don’t have to do that. It’s not that I have more time in the day, I just have more control over how I spend it.

The earning potential is an amazing part of self-employment. It’s easy to think that being employed by another company offers the most job stability, and while I can see that argument, one I actually made for quite a while when I was still in that world, I now see the limitations of traditional employment. Sure, you might get a steady paycheck so you know you can rely on a certain amount each month. But most of the time you’re lucky if you get a standard cost of living raise once a year, any kind of significant salary increase over time, and any benefits at all. I do miss benefits like health insurance, paid time off and the 401k employer match. But my business income more than compensates for what I no longer have. Part of that freedom I have is the ability to go after any projects I want and reach for goals beyond the scope of what the company can handle. Because I am the company, I know I can handle it.

I really enjoy being able to offer whatever services I feel like offering, and being able to change my mind about what those are. I’m not limited to a title or role. I love being available as a resource for random needs. Some of the emails I get from my clients just make me laugh. Hey, I need to figure out how to borrow a koala who can chew eucalyptus in the same rhythm as the song we’re using for this video. Can you help with that? Okay, that one isn’t real, but I do seem to be the person people reach out to when they need something done and aren’t sure who can do it. I love that. Even if it’s not in my wheelhouse, if I have the time, I’ll do my best to figure it out. I’m nothing if not resourceful and I’m usually up for those kinds of unique challenges.

Choosing which projects to accept, and with whom I want to work, are more favorite things. When you work for another company, you have to work on whatever jobs, and with whatever clients, they want you to. Sometimes that means you have to spend time with those whose personalities don’t mesh with yours. You might have to work on a project with which you have no connection and don’t enjoy. If that happens when it’s your own company, you have the option of firing that client or turning down that project. That frees up room to work on things that are in better alignment with what you want to be doing.

Along those lines, I also love being able to create my own projects. Like this podcast. I don’t think I’d be able to find the time or energy to do this if I was also working a full-time job somewhere else. It’s time consuming, but I don’t mind because I love it. It’s really helped me connect with people on a different level than I’ve been able to do with things like social media or in-person networking. It suits me better. I also think about projects like the “Dream Out Loud” documentary I produced. There’s no way I could’ve taken 3 months off of a job to follow U2 around the world. There are so many things I’ve done in the last 6 years that I never would’ve been able to do if I was chained to a desk 40+ hours a week.

I remember back in 2005 when I was planning my first trip to Australia. My boss said he’d consider letting me have the 2 weeks off. He was a little confused, and I told him I wasn’t asking and that if he had an issue with it, he should consider that to be my notice. He didn’t have a problem with it. But that’s when I learned how much I love traveling and seeing other parts of the world. It was one of the reasons I finally decided to leave the corporate world, so I could work from anywhere as long as I had my laptop and an Internet connection. Since then I’ve worked from Ireland, Germany, England, Canada, and all over the US. Who knows where I’ll work next?

Being tied to an office was never the right fit for me, but I didn’t realize it soon enough. When I think about it now, I don’t know why I didn’t see it. I love that I don’t have to use an alarm. I wake up when I wake up and I go to sleep when I’m tired, not when the clock says I have to because I have to get up in 8 hours. The quality of my sleep is way better, and my energy levels have definitely improved. I don’t lose 1-2 hours a day commuting and being stuck in traffic. I get to spend more time at home, which is a place I love to be. I get to control my environment, so I’m not freezing all day long, listening to all the sounds when I’m trying to focus, or smelling microwaved fish coming out of the communal kitchen. I don’t miss any of those things.

Working for myself gave me back the choice of being social. If you’re not an introvert, that might not make sense. Being around people, while it is often fun, drains my energy. So I’m better in small groups for short periods of time. When I worked in an office, I had to be “on” all the time because I had coworkers, clients, and vendors around all the time. By the time I got home during the week, or on weekends, I was drained. It was difficult to muster up the energy to go out and see friends. Now, I get to be home by myself all day while I’m working, and then I have plenty of energy to meet up with friends or the occasional client. I look forward to it. I’m much more social in my personal life now (or at least when there isn’t a pandemic) and enjoy my outings way more than I used to.

One thing I haven’t really thought about until I started working on this list, but is probably one of the most important things, is how much more respect I get on my own. I didn’t really feel this way too much at the time, but thinking back over all of my years working for other people, I probably should have. I don’t miss people assuming that I would answer the phone, or get coffee for the clients, even though I was in upper management, because I was the only girl in the office. I don’t miss doing extra work to help people who were getting paid for it but couldn’t do it themselves. I don’t miss people condescendingly trying to convince me that I didn’t actually want the things I wanted. I don’t miss people lying to me about what was going on behind the scenes while I naively supported them. And I don’t miss other people secretly doing their best to hold me back so they could keep moving forward. Since I’ve become my own boss, I haven’t had to deal with any of that. Instead, I have clients who value what I have to offer and don’t have any problem paying what I’m worth. It’s been an incredibly welcome change of pace.

The last favorite thing I’ll mention, is the feeling of accomplishment that comes with being in control. I feel like I’ve had to do everything in life on my own, and that’s not a complaint. It’s just how it’s been. I work hard because it’s who I am and have never expected anything in return from anyone. But it’s always nice to be noticed. I appreciate it when someone compliments me for doing a good job. When someone gives me credit for helping them succeed. When someone refers new clients to me because they know I’ll do right by them.

I had too many experiences in the corporate world where other people took credit for the work I did, and often the benefits that came as a result. It was another big motivation for me to go out on my own. I figured it was worth putting my self-confidence to the test. I’d either work hard and earn my own success, or I’d fall flat and realize maybe I wasn’t doing such a good job after all. If I’m being honest, I didn’t actually ever think the latter would happen. I suppose it was always somewhat of a possibility, but I was willing to take the risk. I had to at that point. It took me a long time to get here, but it was worth the wait. I learned what I needed to every step of the way, and know I know exactly what I want, and that’s what I’m going to keep doing.

I’m sure I’ve missed some good stuff, but those are some of my favorite things about being self-employed. If you are also self-employed, what are some of your favorite things about it? Or if you’re thinking about starting your business, what are you most looking forward to? Connect with me on social @aardvarkgirl and let me know! Until then, I’m going to go do one of my favorite things and stop working for the day simply because I feel like it.

DM me @aardvarkgirl on any social platform and let me know!

Shout out to Arzo Yusuf of the Sexy Boss Babe podcast for inspiring this episode. Check out Episode 22 for her take on Predatory Coaching Programs. Join us Tuesday nights at 6pm Pacific time on Clubhouse for discussions based on her weekly podcast episodes!

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I have had issues with the word "coach" for years when it comes to that line of my business helping services. I've never really figured out what to call myself in that capacity. Consultant sounds too stuffy and corporate. Advisor sounds too hands-on. Mentor sounds too egotistical. Coach is the most commonly accepted, but it has a lot of negative connotations, especially lately. I have gone back and forth with what to call myself for years and have never settled on anything I love. In March of 2020 when I updated my website, I finally caved and decided to use Coach, because that’s the word people search for when looking for those services. I still didn’t love it, but I was willing to concede that it was the best choice.

But then, during the pandemic, it seems that everybody became a coach. A lot of people were looking for new ways to make money from home, and that seemed to be an easy transition. And with that surge of new coaches in the market came a slew of horrible practices - bad advice, sleazy marketing, and false promises. I've been hearing way too many horror stories about these predatory coaches and coaching groups taking advantage. They are targeting vulnerable women and pressuring them into spending money they don't have in order to "achieve their dreams." That’s not what coaching is about. The more I saw that, the more I was reminded of my issues with that word. I left it on my website, but I changed it back to Consultant on my social profiles because I did not want to be lumped in with those people.

I’m going to stop here and offer my typical disclaimer. My comments here are generalizing. Not all coaches are bad. There are plenty of great, ethical, honest ones out there who genuinely want to help others. I don’t take issue with people charging for their services or building a business by using their expertise to assist others. None of that is the problem.

What I’m talking about is going beyond acceptable sales and marketing techniques and tactics. It’s one thing to identify a need and offer a solution. It’s another to find someone’s triggering pain point and use it to manipulate them into working with you. It’s one thing to explain to someone how your background and knowledge qualifies you to help them with their specific goals. It’s another to lure them into a commitment by promising to help them earn 5 figures a month or 6 figures a year. No one can guarantee success, and any coaching program that makes such a claim is trying to trick you. Is it possible? Sure. Guaranteed? Unless they’re going to pay you themselves, not so much.

I’m sure many of you are familiar with some of these tactics. You join a group on Facebook and someone posts a question that’s something along the lines of, “What are you struggling with?” or “What’s holding you back?” or “What if you could let go of the fear that’s keeping you stuck?” I automatically cringe at these posts because I strongly dislike the assumption that all women in business are struggling, being held back, or afraid. Many of us are doing just fine, thank you. We are in those groups to share value and connect with others in a safe space.

But someone poses the question and maybe you answer because you want to engage. It’s why you’re there. Then the original poster offers you a freebie of some sort, either a document they created or a 5-day challenge they’re holding, or something like that to help you with your problem. They’ll give it to you, but you have to give your email address to get it. I’ll pass.

Or, in a similar scenario, you answer their post and then they DM you, with or without your permission, and offer the freebie there. Or they start a conversation and ask you more leading questions that ultimately lead to them trying to sell you their services, program, or whatever it is they’re pushing. It’s so transparent that they do not care about you. They see you as a potential buyer and are using you to hopefully make a sale.

It’s easy for me to say that’s transparent. My logical brain sees right through it. I question everything and have a healthy dose of skepticism whenever someone I don’t know appears out of nowhere asking questions about my process that are clearly trying to identify an issue I’m having. I see right through that. And I’m not saying I’m smarter or better than anyone else because of that. I always say my brain works differently than most. Some of these people are master manipulators and it’s easy to see how they’re able to succeed.

The problem isn’t just that initial meeting of sorts, though, it’s what happens afterward. Whether communication started in one of the situations I mentioned, during a discovery call, or any other way, the follow-up is usually when the worst happens.

A quick explanation in case it’s needed, most coaches offer discovery calls, which are usually 15-to-30-minute free consultations where you can ask each other questions, get to know each other, and see if you’re a good fit to work together. This is an excellent service, in my opinion, because you shouldn’t commit to working with someone at that level without having had a conversation first.

When it’s the traditional email marketing formula, it’s easy enough to brush off. They offer you a freebie, you give them your email address so you can get it, and then they start bombarding you with a series of emails, often once per day. They’ll tell you about them, give you some tips, share something deeply personal they’ve been through to which they hope you’ll relate, maybe share some testimonials, ask you if you’re serious about your goals, give you some advice, and then they’ll give you the opportunity to purchase their high-ticket item at a heavily discounted price if you sign up today. I don’t like this approach. I’ve talked about on this podcast before. But I also understand that it works and I can’t fault anyone for doing it just because it’s not my style. There’s nothing malicious about it, in most cases. It’s a common sales technique, nothing else. You can ignore them and unsubscribe.

The bad practice, however, is the bullying type behavior that can take place on those discovery calls or when you’re actually having a back-and-forth conversation. Sometimes these coaches will do whatever they can to push you into giving them your money. A lot of money, too. We’re talking about thousands, sometimes even tens of thousands of dollars, for these programs.

Some of them will keep pushing at those pain points they’ve identified. They’ll try to make you feel stupid for not joining the program. They’ll encourage you to do whatever you can to find the money, even putting it on a credit card and going into debt. They’ll tell you you’re making an investment in yourself and you can’t afford not to spend that money. They’ll make underhanded comments to belittle you and make you feel like you must not be serious about succeeding if you’re not willing to go broke to work with them. They’ll try to convince you that it’s a solid plan and you’ll make more money than you can imagine. Just look at all the things they’ve done, right?

But they don’t care about the reality of your struggles. They haven’t been in your shoes, whether they’ve experienced similar situations or not. They aren’t you. But they’ll do their best to make you think they know exactly what you need. And they’ll give you everything you’ve ever wanted, if you’re willing to pay the price.

Don’t pay the price.

It's so important to do your research before committing to a coaching program, or any service that requires a hefty investment. Ask specific questions about what they expect from you and what you should expect from them. How does their process work? What are the specific things included in the package? How much one on one time? How accessible will they be via email, phone, or other apps in between sessions? Will they help you develop a strategy with actionable steps to take? Will they work with you more on mindset and changing habits? How do they align with your specific goals and values? Don’t be shy about asking direct questions to make sure you feel like you’ll get what you need from working with them.

Don’t rely on testimonials on a website. Speak to their references. If they don’t have any, or aren’t willing to share their info, that’s a huge red flag. Some other red flags? Guaranteeing income or specific results. Pushing you to spend money you don’t have. Pressuring you into paying them during the discovery call, or in any way not allowing you to have time to think about your decision first. Talking down to you. Any kind of bullying behavior is not okay. Trust your instincts. If you get a bad feeling about someone, do not work with them. If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Stay away. Protect yourself from these predators who call themselves coaches.

I don’t think I fit into the coaching mold. I break the typical rules. I encourage people to get to know me before they decide to work with me. That’s why this podcast is here, so people can get a sense of who I am without me even knowing they’re listening. I talk to them to make sure they’re in a place where they can take the right action before I take their money. I do offer monthly and longer-term packages because often real results do come from commitment, but I also offer hourly sessions, which many advise against. I think those are just as important, though. It’s another way for someone to get to know me. I’m surely not going to marry someone after we’ve had one conversation while standing in line at the grocery store. So why would I expect someone to make a huge commitment to me after one short call?

Maybe they’re not ready to spend thousands of dollars. There’s nothing wrong with that. Maybe they just have a few questions, or one situation that needs a little guidance. It doesn’t always require several weeks of working together to help. That’s why I’m here, to help. Not to entrap someone for months at a time. I don’t encourage dependency on me. If someone wants to keep working with me, that’s great, but I also empower people to do great work on their own. All of this goes against typical coaching practices. And I am perfectly okay with that.

I’ve asked it before, but I’m asking for your input again. What word do you think is best for me to describe these services? Should I stick with Business Coaching because that’s the most search friendly term? Is Business Consulting better? Business Advising? Business Mentorship? Business Strategist? What am I? Please help me figure this out! Call me names! Send me a DM or tag me on social with your suggestions – I’m @aardvarkgirl on all platforms. And if you’re on Clubhouse, join Arzo and I, along with some other wonderful moderators, on Tuesday nights at 6pm Pacific. Thanks for listening!

In this episode, she talks about turning her passion into a dream career and why it doesn't feel like work. She credits drive, faith and fear for motivating her throughout the journey, along with working hard and keeping herself accountable to her vision.

We also discuss some positive outcomes of the pandemic, such as finding her love for Lululemon clothing, giving herself more down time, and not stressing out so much to get everything done right away.

Her biggest piece of advice? If you want to do something, jump right in and do it. The worst thing would be to look back and wonder "what if?" Believe in yourself and you might find yourself becoming an extraordinary success!

Connect with Crystal @crystal_thurman & @castvegas

Connect with me @aardvarkgirl on all platforms: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:39 You definitely don't have to choose between being a mom and having a career.

01:53 I love the model and talent industry, and I love helping people. And I thought, where can I put this all together and make it like my dream job?

05:02 There is extraordinary talent in Las Vegas. I definitely tried to figure out our demographics, our clients, add a little bit more family and customer service to it, where I felt like that was lacking here.

08:30 When you have drive and passion behind your dream, there is absolutely nothing you can’t accomplish. If you love something, just jump in and do it.

12:03 If you're not uncomfortable in your own skin almost every day, then you're not pushing yourself. Drive, faith and fear might be the biggest components of everything. But you have to have the drive. And if you really want it, you can obtain it.

15:25 I kept my vision board in my office, and I would sit in my office and I would look at it. And on Friday, I would give myself a checkpoint. So at the end of the week, I would say, “What did I do to move towards one of those things, or two of those things, or three of those things on my vision board? I accomplished probably 80% of my vision board in four or five years, so there's just 20% left, but I still check myself every week how I’m getting there.

17:00 Don't think we didn't do the work. There were business coaches, there were classes I took. Everywhere I went, I asked questions like, “What are you lacking? What could be better? What can I do more?”

19:41 I kind of jumped in with that blind faith, knowing that it would come to fruition. I just had to put in the work.

Do you ever want to look back and say, “What if?” So what is the worst thing? You don't succeed at it? But you tried it. You gave it everything you had, and it didn't quite work? Or you gave it everything you had and now you're this extraordinary success?

25:38 There's actually more power in figuring out what doesn't work. If you know what doesn't work, and you have the tools to make that one thing work, you will rise to the top very quickly. 

27:11 Before the pandemic hit, I was spinning 150 miles an hour every single day, all day. COVID, ironically enough, gave me a new love for my job. I'm much more balanced in my life than I was before.

33:03 When you start taking care of yourself first and not running yourself so beyond ragged, you're just as productive. I definitely find myself in a much calmer, happier place after this whole pandemic.

37:08 I know I keep on coming back to the positives of the pandemic. It gave everyone a lot of time to kind of really reevaluate their world and where they truly want to be and what's really important, like what really is important.

40:36 I love talent, I love my friends, I love my job. I seriously love my company so much. But I think realizing that we can do things via Zoom, FaceTime, that kind of stuff, has freed up a lot of my time. I've also hired someone on full-time now who now can do the same thing that I was doing, and so it's made the company actually more efficient, giving me more free time to reach out. 

42:30 If you can look back and say there's no what-ifs and you're uncomfortable, then that's where your dream and your gift will come in. Because that's how you know you're growing. And that's how you know you're moving forward. And there is nothing better than being your own owner and having your company at your heart and doing what you love. There's no greater gift.

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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I think we’re all familiar with the concept of “ghosting” as it applies to the dating world. The gist of it is that two people are having some kind of relationship and then one of them disappears – no more communication, no explanation of what went wrong – just gone. The person on the receiving end typically feels confused, hurt, betrayed, and a whole slew of other emotions. Sure, breakups can be difficult and uncomfortable, but ghosting draws out the whole process because one person doesn’t know the relationship is over.

I personally have no respect for ghosters. I think it’s selfish, cowardly and cruel. I’ve heard some people justify it by saying it spares everyone the awkwardness of a nonmutual breakup. But just stopping communication with no warning robs the other person of the closure they need. It’s become a huge downfall with technology and how people communicate, or don’t, with each other. Somehow it’s become common, sometimes even acceptable, to ignore people. I don’t think I will ever agree with it. I think we need to remember that, even though we’re mostly interacting via typed messages on various platforms, that doesn’t negate the need for compassion, empathy, and general human decency.

Not surprisingly, ghosting has spread from dating to all kinds of relationships, including professional ones. I hear from people, or see posts in business groups, almost daily now with a new story about a client who ghosted them in the middle of a project. It seems to be happening all the time, in different ways.

Sometimes it’s in the initial discussion before a contract is signed, which can be frustrating because, as many of you know, it takes a decent amount of time to prepare proposals and quotes. We often spend time talking to the client to get the information so we can build the budget for a project, agree upon terms, and all that fun stuff in between – work that’s essentially done for free before the job is even awarded.

Other times work starts and then the client disappears. You have questions that haven’t been answered and you’re left in limbo wondering if you should keep reaching out or call it a day and abandon the project on your end as well.

The worst stories I hear are when jobs are completed and the client goes into invisible mode before making the final payment. Those are the times when, all too often a hard lesson is learned about the importance of having detailed contracts signed before work starts, collecting deposits, and not delivering final materials before the account is paid in full. It’s a mistake that usually only gets made once, but it can have a huge affect on a person – mentally and financially.

I have only been business ghosted once. It was a few years ago and a new client, but someone I’d known for many years, hired me to get a year’s worth of bookkeeping in order so he could do his taxes for his new company. There was a rush, obviously, so I agreed to a one-month package where I would set up the system and get everything entered myself and then train his team how to maintain it moving forward. Along with the contract, I sent the schedule with all of the deadlines they would need to maintain in order to get it all done in the allotted time. There was also a clause that if the work extended past the month, or if they wanted to keep me on retainer to manage it myself, it would be x amount per month. Standard stuff. I gave them two payment options – pay the full amount with 50% due up front and 50% due before the final training, or 100% due up front at a discounted price. They paid up front, so we were good to go.

They missed their deadlines, of course, but we were still able to make progress. I got everything caught up, 1099s mailed out, and everything else ready for their accountant. There were only a few things left, including my video training for how to use the new system, and it crossed over into that next month so I sent the invoice. I never heard from them again. They didn’t remove my login or do anything to indicate there was a problem. They just ghosted.

It wasn’t really an issue on my end – they didn’t pay my invoice so I didn’t do any more work. The silliest part about it is that because they didn’t respond, they never even got the training session they already paid for. That video would’ve been an important reference tool so anyone on that team could easily do everything properly. It would have given them step by step instructions for how to maintain the system I set up, so they wouldn’t have to pay me, or anyone else, to keep their books updated. The whole point of that was to help make sure they didn’t end up in that kind of situation again.

That experience with ghosting makes no sense because the only one who really lost out was the client, the ghoster. It wouldn’t have been an uncomfortable conversation if they didn’t want to keep working with me, because that was never the point. I intentionally worked out a deal with them that didn’t include any obligation beyond the original one-month term. It was a new busines with a small team, and they had someone there who was capable of doing it. I have never been that consultant who only helps enough to make sure I’m always needed for something else. I’m there to help at whatever capacity is needed, and sometimes they don’t need another monthly bill. They just need a little help to get things in order and then they can take it from there. That’s always fine with me.

My story is nothing but an odd anecdote. But I’ve heard from so many others who have had much more impactful ghosting situations. Discovery calls that end with “yes, I’m excited. I’ll be in touch soon!” And then nothing. A series of meetings, all moving towards a contract, but then crickets when it’s time to commit. Or a ton of back-and-forth emails working through all of the details to put together a budget, schedule, and everything else that’s needed, just to submit and never hear from them again.

And it’s not just clients who do it, either. One of my clients hired a vendor to manage some important elements of her business. After months of progress, this person went MIA, leaving the project unfinished, several months wasted, and my client having to start over from square one with someone new. It’s not okay. Wasting other people’s time and money is never okay.

And it’s not to say you have to keep a relationship with everyone you talk to. But if they’ve put their time into doing something for you, have the decency to say thanks but no thanks. It’ll take you less than a minute to send a simple email. I don’t care how busy you are, it doesn’t validate being inconsiderate to other human beings.

It’s one thing if you reach out to someone to offer services – a cold call or a general inquiry. While I still think it’s polite to respond, I get that the volume of these types of emails can overwhelm an inbox and sometimes we don’t get around to it. But when time and energy has already been put into conversations, meetings, and verbal or written commitments, let them know if you’re not going to move forward after all.

It’s another thing if you’ve only had a couple conversations with someone and decide it’s not for you. I still think you owe them a quick email to say hey, thanks for your time, but I’m going to go in a different direction for now. Or something simple. You don’t have to give a long explanation. It’s more of a courtesy to manage their expectations so they can move on to something else. And then they won’t keep emailing you to find out what’s going on. Win win.

Last summer, when I was finding locations for filming, I talked to a lot of people. I got quotes, photos, and details to share with my team. After a decision was made, I emailed every single one of them to let them know we wouldn’t be needing the space. That way they weren’t holding out hope that they’d have the job. They weren’t depending on the dates if something else came up. There are a whole number of reasons why I believe that kind of communication is the right thing to do. I don’t like delivering bad news, but it’s better than leaving someone hanging.

The thing is, unfortunately, it seems like ghosting is common practice now. It’s probably going to happen to you at some point if it hasn’t already. So we, as business owners, need to protect ourselves and do the best we can to make sure ghosters don’t put us in bad situations.

First, don’t take it personally when it happens. You don’t know what’s going on in their lives or why they decided not to continue. You can speculate all you want, but you’re never going to get an answer. So why not just assume it wasn’t you, it was them. Try not to think it’s a reflection on your work. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out something you can never figure out.

Next, until you have a signed contract, be mindful of how much of yourself you’re putting into getting the work. We all want to give our full effort to getting new clients. We get excited about the prospect and come up with all these ideas and want to show people how awesome it would be to work with us. But it’s important to learn how to create an efficient proposal so you don’t waste precious hours on a job you’re not going to get. Templates are your friend. Starting with a ballpark budget range can help eliminate those potential clients who are never going to pay what you’re worth. Meaning before you go through all the line items and numbers to estimate a project, use your experience to say something like this would typically cost between x and y, depending on the specifics. If that fits in with your budget, let’s discuss further. Then if you never hear back, you haven’t wasted your time.

Finally, make sure your contract covers everything. The entire scope of work, in detail. Specific deliverables. Include dates and deadlines, both for you and the client, along with a clause that lays out what happens if they don’t get you what you need in time. It doesn’t mean you’re going to sit around waiting for them and when they finally get around to it, you’ll jump on it right away. Nope. If they do get it to you, and it’s beyond the time you had allotted for them per the contract, you’ll have to decide if you want to schedule a new time or if they’ve forfeited whatever they’ve paid. Set the payment schedule in clear terms. Collect a deposit before you start work. Explain that you own the work until it’s paid for in full. You won’t deliver final materials or files until the final payment is received (and cleared, if they pay by check). Outline the cancellation policy so they know that if they bail in the middle of a project, you’re not going to refund them. Your contract is what protects you from these unfortunate new business antics, so you want it to be as clear and detailed as possible . It’s like your own personal ghostbuster.

If you’ve ghosted someone, please let me know why. I really want to know the reasoning behind the decision. Are you uncomfortable with letting someone down, so you avoid the situation altogether? In that case, you know you’re letting them down but  you don’t have to see or hear the reaction so you’re okay with it? Do you think they’ll try to keep pushing or convincing you to work with them, so you’d rather not say anything at all? Or are you just telling them you want to move forward because it feels easier in the moment than saying no, I’m not interested at this time? Or do you think hey, it’s just business, not my problem? Or something else? Please enlighten to me. I always want to understand multiple points of view of a situation, but I’ve yet to hear the ghoster’s perspective.

I really hope ghosting isn’t something we should all just accept at this point. Part of being an adult is being able to have difficult conversations with people in a calm and respectful manner. All relationships deserve consideration and decency, whether they’re with romantic partners, friends, business partners, clients, vendors, or anyone else. It’s okay if you don’t want to work with someone. It doesn’t make you a bad person and even though they might be disappointed, it’s better to be honest and direct with them so you can both move on. Don’t be selfish. Don’t be a coward. And don’t be cruel. People deserve better.

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I'd love to hear your thoughts!

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, email info@aardvarkgirl.com or find me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you want to work with me, that’s where you’ll find me, too.

Please take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share with your other self-employed creative friends.

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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I want to start with a disclaimer. Nothing I say in this episode is meant as criticism. It’s not meant as judgment. I say it all from a place of compassion. I do understand that money is a bit of a touchy subject most of the time, but especially now. We are just about one year into the COVID-19 pandemic, which created and amplified financial issues for people around the world. People were suddenly without jobs, without income, relying on unemployment systems that were overwhelmed by demand, and so much more. It’s still fresh at the time of this recording, so I get that it might be triggering. But my intention is to help so we can all be better prepared in the future. We can’t do anything about what has already happened, but we can make changes in our habits that will help us in the present moment, and hopefully the future.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I’m going to get down to business, starting with a blunt statement. If you think you can’t afford to save, you need to address your budget. Saving should NOT be optional. It shouldn’t be where your money goes if you have any left after all of your other expenses. It should be a top priority in your budget.

I’ve heard every excuse in the world, and I don’t accept any of them. I get it. Life is expensive. You have needs. There are things you want. Things that will make your life easier, or your business run more smoothly. Emergencies come up all the time. The kids need something for school. Your car needs an expensive tune up. The water heater needs to be replaced. Your pet really needs that fancy extra plush bed with the built-in pillow she can crawl into. Yes, these things are often urgent, but the real emergency is letting yourself get to a place where you don’t have a safety net. A place where one unexpected expense throws you into a debt spiral.

No one was expecting a pandemic to come along and force everyone to stay home. We didn’t expect our businesses to be put on hold for an indefinite amount of time. Some were able to open quickly. Some still aren’t back. Most have nowhere near the volume of sales they did before, and a lot of adjustments have been made. It was terrible for many, so again, nothing I say here is meant to throw blame or in any way discredit the valid hardships anyone faced. But it was concerning to me how many people went into panic mode because they didn’t have any money saved. No emergency plan. No rainy day fund. Just relying on the check from the last job to survive.

I’m not going to harp on everything that happened, how many systems failed the general public, or how much stress everyone was under trying to figure out how to stay afloat when they couldn’t work. We all know what happened a year ago and where things are at now. I’m more interested in what we can do moving forward.

We’ve been talking about adapting a lot on this podcast because it’s so relevant to what’s been going on. Adapting is great, but it’s a reaction. The best thing you can do for yourself financially is to be proactive. Build that safety net so you know you will be okay if something like this happens again.

I know there are other factors in play here, like how many people aren’t earning a fair wage and they are working hard to support themselves and their families but are still barely getting by. It’s an unfortunate epidemic and I wish I had a solution for that. The sad truth is that sometimes we just have to make sacrifices.

For some background, I didn’t grow up with money. My mom opted to be a stay-home mom while my brother and I were young. I will always be grateful to her for that. But when my parents got divorced, she was thrown into a situation where she had to get a job but had no work experience. She ultimately had to start from the beginning when she was in her 30s. It wasn’t easy, but she made it work.

We always had what we needed, and it taught me some valuable lessons about work, independence, and figuring things out. Part of the reason I decided to start working so young was because I didn’t want to end up in that situation. I learned how to be frugal early on because I wanted to make sure I could always take care of myself. My grandpa often talked about the importance of having a rainy-day fund. My dad encouraged me to save 10% of everything I made. These are lessons I still follow today.

Again, saving shouldn’t be an optional “expense.” Yes, I’ve heard many people call it an expense, but to me, it’s more of an investment. In yourself, in your family if you have one, in your business, in your peace of mind. You don’t ever want to find yourself in a situation where one unexpected expense means you can’t pay your bills that month. If 2020 wasn’t eye opening about how important that is, I don’t know what would be.

The best place to start is by determining your budget. If you want more specifics about budgeting, please go back to episode 26: Budget isn’t a Bad Word. I go more in depth about that there and don’t want to be too repetitive. But you’re with me here now, so I’ll briefly review the 3 types of saving that need to be included in your budget – taxes, saving, & investments.

Taxes are tricky because you have to put money aside, but it’s not actually your money. So it’s not really saving, but it’s important to keep that money separate so you don’t accidentally spend it. The IRS isn’t going to care what happened in your personal life – they will get that money and you want to stay on their good side. The amount to set aside for taxes will depend on where you live. In the US you have federal taxes and, in some cases, state taxes. If you’re in another country, it might be different, too. No matter where you are, it’s best to save a percentage of your income to account for those taxes, because taxes are a percentage of your income. It’s pretty straightforward.

Saving is that emergency or rainy-day fund that you want to have available in case something comes up. You’ll see different rules of thumb out there, usually suggesting that you have somewhere between 3-6 months’ salary in your savings account. I would say 6 months should be the minimum, ideally working up to a year. It might sound daunting at first, but imagine how peaceful it would be knowing that you could have that much time to figure out what to do if you lost your job, your clients, or the ability to do your work. I also advise sticking with the percentage here, versus a flat amount each month, so you are able to save more in your busier months and have more flexibility in the slower ones. I think 10% is the minimum, but ideally you should consider more so you can get to your goals faster.

Investment and retirement plans are crucial when you are self-employed. We don’t have pensions and company-matched 401ks. We have to provide for our own futures. And the sooner you start, the more comfortable you will be. There’s a thing called compound interest that is your friend. Let your money make more money for you so when you’re ready to retire, it’s a comfortable option for you.

So when you’re budgeting, make sure these 3 categories are included. That way you’re looking at the bigger picture and being practical when figuring out how much you actually need to make.

My first year in business, I had no idea what my income would be. I didn’t even have a guess. So to be cautious, I saved a minimum of 50% of all of my income. Every time I received a payment from a client, I instantly transferred half of it into my business savings account. I figured it was approximately 35% for taxes & 15% for saving and investments. I knew my taxes wouldn’t be that high, but I wanted to be covered to be safe.

I made those transfers without fail. If at any point I didn’t have enough to cover my expenses, it wouldn’t mean I could pull it out of savings. It would mean I would need to reduce my expenses. I treated that savings account as one-way only. Money could be put in, but never taken out. No exceptions.

After my first year, I updated my saving system. I elected to start filing taxes for my LLC as an S Corp, so that changed the amount I needed to plan for taxes. And by that point, my savings account was at the level I wanted to maintain. I like to keep a minimum of one year’s income available in my accounts. Some people are fine with 3 months but I don’t feel like that’s enough. I recently transferred a chunk of my savings account to one with a higher interest rate, so it’s good to shop around sometimes to see what’s out there.

With my minimum savings met, I then focus more on investments. Every year, in the beginning of January, I make the maximum contribution to my IRA. That way, it has the whole year to earn interest. I also have a SEP IRA, which allows my business to contribute up to 25% of my payroll salary. I contribute to that quarterly, but then in December I will give myself a bonus depending on how things are looking, which allows me to then contribute more to max out that SEP IRA limit. There are also solo 401k options that can allow even higher contributions. You might prefer to invest directly in the stock market – if you understand how to do that, go for it! There are so many options out there. You just have to figure out which ones are best for your specific situation.

I’m telling you all of this for the sake of transparency. I don’t give advice unless I’ve been through a situation myself and feel like I can help by sharing what I’ve learned.

A rule I’ve always lived with is “if I can’t afford it, I don’t need it.” Debt isn’t worth it to me. The only exceptions I’ve ever made have been for a house or a car. I have taken out low interest loans for those things, but I make extra payments to make sure they’re paid off early. I do use credit cards because I like the rewards. I always pay the balance in full every month.

It’s important to be honest with yourself about what you can afford. If you can’t seem to make the numbers work, you have two options. Make more or spend less. There are short-term solutions for cutting costs – things like meal prepping at home instead of eating out, canceling some of your monthly subscriptions, or making some DIY products instead of buying them. Sometimes you can save money by making a few calls – ask your phone, cable, and insurance companies if there are any discounts or bundles available.

Keep your bookkeeping in order and talk to your CPA to make sure you’re not missing out on important deductions. Depending on how much you make, it might be beneficial to form an S Corp, or elect to have your LLC file as an S Corp like I do, so you aren’t paying that self-employment tax (again, that’s for those of you in the US – I know it’s different in other countries).

Talk to your financial advisor if you have one. If you have an investment account like an IRA, your bank might have people available to offer some guidance. I know it can be uncomfortable to talk about money sometimes, but there are professionals available who want to help.

Ideally, find ways to make more income. Are you dedicating enough of your time to getting more work? It’s another situation where you need to be honest with yourself. If you’re in a pinch, do you have anything you can sell? That might not help you in a long-term sense, but it might buy you a little more time. The answers are different for everyone, but do your best to brainstorm ideas and come up with your solutions. When it comes to money, it’s crucial to make it a priority. You have to hold yourself accountable if you’re serious about building your financial freedom.

The idea of budgeting, or saving, isn’t to give up everything you love. But if you are thoughtful with your money, it will help you do more without worrying so much about it. Yes, it might mean some sacrifices in the beginning, but the long-term rewards are worth it. It’s that idea of deferred gratification – you give something up now so you can have something even better in the future.

If you’re a business owner, chances are you are already busy and might sometimes feel overwhelmed with everything you need to do. If you’re feeling extra stress on top of that because you’re worried about money, you’re not alone. I think almost everyone has felt at one point or another that they don’t have enough time and/or money. And you might feel like it’s out of your control, but it isn’t. Look over your numbers. Make a plan. Invest in yourself. Remember that the money you save now is buying your peace of mind for the future.

Connect with Jarrod @jarrodoram

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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00:42 I think, just in society as a whole, labels are safe because they give us identification and they can provide us with a sense of who we are. But all a label is is just a title that you've given yourself, and it's easy to hide the shield behind it. 

02:10 We place these artificial terms around what we're “supposed to” be doing, and that kind of limits us. And it keeps us kind of in this tunnel vision mode of staying this path. And I think one of the biggest things that's happened for me over the last few years has been a lot of self-growth, and a lot of taking those blinders off and really kind of surrendering to this world. 

04:55 Words like “supposed to,” “I should,” “I can't,” those are absolutes and we just don't realize how damaging they are to put those on ourselves. Because what happens if you don't do that? Then it almost becomes like this shame cycle. And in a professional world, in a personal world, you start layering those on top of yourself and it gets to a place where you're just kicking your own butt time and time and time again. 

06:44 It was this odd, beautiful eye opener in the fact that I tended to attract very, very toxic bosses. Not only attracting those, but then staying in those relationships. And they did me the best favor on the planet in letting me go the day before Thanksgiving. I was driving home with all my stuff in my car and I was like, blank canvas. This is happening for my greatest good. 

10:51 This is a total Jarrod thing - let's get in the car for three hours go see a Sturgill Simpson show. And I remember during that show, just feeling that warmth inside of doing the things for me that offer that inner joy that nothing on the outside can create. And I just think of that time and time again, because that was the thing. I was like, oh, got it. This makes sense.

17:04 Authenticity is, am I bringing my true inner self? My true inner self curses a lot. It just does. My true inner self buys too many shoes. It just does. You know, I mean, and those aren’t things that define me at all, and it becomes parts of my traits. And I don't bring the work side to Amanda or my boss, I don't bring the professional side to that. I bring Jarrod. Because if I can be my true place anywhere I go, I’m staying true to myself, I'm staying true to people, and that ends up showing. It ends up showing in my photography. It ends up showing in my content strategy. 

23:01 Trying to walk people through their struggles when you're in the middle of them, it can feel so defeating and so relentless, and so never ending. But don't you look back on those now and you're like, I am so grateful for those? Because change doesn't happen when you're skipping on a sunshine with Jesus. It just doesn't happen then. And change sucks. And it is really gnarly when you're in the middle of it, because you don't see the outcome of it. And it shapes you to a place to feel, from a level of awareness, to spot those things and to understand your self-worth. And then to be able to take chances like this to really step in unknowns.

26:44 People are dying for vulnerability and authenticity. And yet, it requires a lot of courage, and a lot of bravery, and a lot of getting dropped on your butt and getting back up and dusting it off lovingly and kindly to ourselves and saying, “You know what? I choose to do it again. Even though I just got my butt kicked with it, I'm going to do it again.” Why? Because I'm going to keep showing up. I want to choose courage over comfort today, because that's where the change is gonna happen.

29:17 Things start with dreams. And then it starts with goals. And then what can I learn to create a plan with it? And then I have to act. I have to take a series of steps of actions, and sometimes they're just small actions. The next step, just doing the next one and then seeing what shows up.

33:09 What I do is I connect people. What I do is I inspire people. I have a good sense of design and direction, and the messaging that comes behind it. People hire me because they want a story told. Yes, everyone talks about stories, but I come in to really have people understand that it's not about just checking the boxes of what you do. There are 200 other companies that do what you do. Let's really look at your why. 

39:08 If I can bring experience, understanding, and empathy to people, and humility. I bring those things to the table time and time again. 

42:39 Relationships are meant to be vulnerable, because in that vulnerability, there's trust. And where there's trust, there's intimacy. And when Intimacy happens, then that's the thing that people can really grow with. And that happens in the professional side as well. That’s what really can happen in the coach/mentor side, especially when people start seeing results from it.

50:14 Trusting your gut and trusting yourself, and that who you are today, what you do today, does not define you. You are your own entity. There is not another entity, there is not another brand, like you today. There's not another one on this planet. You are your own unique selling proposition. And you can pivot, you can shift, you can do any other stupid 2020 words that we've overused, but there's that capacity inside you. And you're worth it, and you have it and you can do it. It gets back to that belief of what are you doing to take care of yourself in order to then take that to the world? Because I cannot give away what I don't possess inside.

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In my opinion, selling is one of the necessary evils of running a business. Whether you’re pushing a product, a service, or both, you have to let people know you’re out there if you want them to buy. But many of us don’t like it, aren’t comfortable with it, or just aren’t interested in being salespeople. Is it possible to sell without a pitch? I believe it is.

The stereotypical idea of sales involves the car salesman approach where someone is aggressively trying to convince you that you need that thing right now and if you walk away you’re ruining your life. It’s the barrage of LinkedIn requests where as soon as you accept, before any real engagement has occurred, the person sends you a message asking, or sometimes telling, you about how they can help you. Or in the current day where it seems everyone is a coach and has taken the same courses about how to sell, it’s the person who offers a free webinar where you join, listen to them talk for 30 minutes without really saying much, and at the end they offer their secrets if you buy their course or join their group – which, of course, is usually thousands of dollars but if you sign up today you can get it at a massive discount. And, even if you don’t, you’re going to get bombarded with emails and last chance offers until you have no choice but to mark as spam and wonder how you got bamboozled again, thinking you might get some helpful tips for free. It makes me cringe.

Look. I get it. These are all proven sales techniques that have worked for a lot of people. I’m not negating that. It’s just not my style. It works for plenty of people, and I know that’s why so many people are taught certain things. Don’t let them go until they’ve bought something or committed to a time. Yep, sound advice. But I know that sometimes people need to take their time to think over a decision, and I want to give them the space to do that. I’d rather get a thoughtful yes than a regretful one, where someone ends up with buyer’s remorse and feeling like they were pressured into it. I’d even rather have a no than a yes that makes me look like a bully.

I was talking to my good friend Eric about this the other day. He’s been in sales for most of his career, so I consider him to be an expert at the topic. It came up in the context of people who do the bare minimum but still expect to be recognized, praised and promoted. You know the type. They don’t want to do the work, but they want the rewards. And that kind of behavior reflects in how they are with people in general, not just in business. For me, it goes back to something as simple as the Golden Rule. Treat people how you want to be treated. It’s not that complicated.

If someone reaches out to me about a job and I’m not available, or not interested, I’ll let them know right away and, if I can, recommend someone else they can ask. This accomplishes a few things. First, it leaves them with a positive impression of me. Secondly, it helps them in the next step. Hopefully my referral is available. I know how difficult it can be to find the right fit for the types of projects I usually do, especially when you’re working with someone new. A referral is always better than a cold call. Third, if someone I know and like gets the job, that helps someone else. So a simple, kind response just helped at least 3 people. I’ll also let them know they can reach out to me if they need any additional resources or if I can be helpful in any way. Again, that connects me with a good experience. Maybe the current job isn’t right for me, but maybe the next one will be, and chances are they’ll reach out again because of how I handled that interaction.

In another situation that came up recently, someone I worked with on a project emailed me asking for help. Technically, I was done with that project, but it was something that wouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes, and I knew how heavy her workload was, so I was happy to do it anyway. It’s the same as when someone asks me a question and I don’t have the answer, but I know I can find it pretty easily. I’m probably not going to spend an hour doing someone else’s research for free, but if I can take a few minutes to be helpful, why wouldn’t I? Because while I wholeheartedly believe you should never work for free, I also believe that there are times when I can afford to just be kind.

When I was talking with Eric about all of this, he said, “Do you know what that’s called? That’s sales.”

And yeah, that makes sense. Sales doesn’t have to be about constantly pitching. Sometimes it’s more about building a reputation that makes people come to you.

My business is almost entirely referral based. I do get some clients from the podcast and social media, but at the core of my business is a group of loyal people who hired me because they worked with me directly at my old job, on another project, or someone we both know recommended me. Many of them have been with me since my first year in business. Some I met later on, and they’ve stuck around, too. I’ve had very few one-time clients, and I’m proud of that.

I always joke with people that I will work with them once and then find my way to insert myself so they can’t ever function without me again. I joke, but it’s kind of the way it works out most of the time. You know that show I was working on for 7 months that was only supposed to be 8 episodes over the course of 3 months? Well, that’s finally done. And just as I was starting to wonder what will be next, the supervising producer asked if I wanted to stay on for the next season. Another 8, possibly 16 episodes. The position normally would’ve gone to someone local to where they’re shooting, which is no longer in Las Vegas, but since I managed to do it this whole time from home anyway, that part matters less than sticking with someone who knows the process and has handled it well.

How I sell is by doing a good job. And it goes beyond when I’m hired. Yes, that’s the most important part of it. When someone hires me for a job – whether it’s one project, a monthly retainer, or a year-long commitment – I give it my full effort. I want to succeed, sure, but I also want my clients to succeed. And I believe the quality of my work reflects that every time. It’s really important to me that it does. The work we do affects others, and sometimes we don’t even realize the depth to which our participation helps or hinders a whole process. For me, it’s also about doing more than what’s expected. It’s a matter of being proud of what I do, and having that confidence in my abilities so my clients can, too.

I was talking about the Clubhouse app a couple weeks ago, and while it seems most people are open to the platform and are finding solid value in it, one comment struck me as… interesting. She said she didn’t like it because she couldn’t post links to sell her products, and if she couldn’t sell, what was the point? And yes, it’s true that you can’t post links anywhere in Clubhouse, but there are plenty of salespeople – they are definitely in there pushing their products and services every time they speak, whether it’s in a room they created for that purpose or if they’re on someone else’s stage trying to reach more people. It’s a different style for a different platform, but it’s still there with a mix of the over-the-top aggressive pushes, and other, more subtle ways of dropping information.

And then there are those of us who don’t even mention what we do unless someone asks us to. I don’t feel like I need to constantly pitch myself. It’s uncomfortable, and part of that is generational. I didn’t grow up with social media and this culture of constant sharing and promoting. I do share new podcast episodes every week across social, and I let people know when I’m co-moderating a discussion in Clubhouse. There is an element of self-promotion that I understand is necessary in the current market for anyone providing products or services. You have to let people know you’re out there doing what you do. I don’t know a way around that. But I do know that I have to do it in a way that’s true to who I am.

The natural way for me is to share my experiences and advice without any expectation for anything in return. This podcast is sales for me. It doesn’t cost you anything to listen, but if you like what you hear and want to work with me, you know how to find me. If I speak in a Clubhouse room and you find value in what I say, you can read my profile and connect on Instagram or Twitter. You’ll do that on your own if it resonates with you and the timing is right. I don’t need to try to force you. Do I? Am I doing this wrong? Probably, in many ways, I am.

I hear from so many people that every post, everything you do, needs to include a call to action. I understand why. It all makes perfect sense that you need to give people something to do to keep the conversation, or the relationship, moving towards that sale. But if what’s right for sales contradicts what’s right for me, I’m going to side with me every time. I can’t help it – it’s the way I’m wired. I won’t apologize for it either. My style works for me. Business is good for now.

That doesn’t mean I’m not going to try different things. I do want to release some online courses. Maybe some eBooks. I’d love to monetize this podcast in a way that doesn’t shove annoying advertisements in your ears. I’d like to get some sponsors to help me cover the costs. Maybe set up a Patreon account. Eventually, I’m going to run out of people I know and will have to start reaching out to other potential guests. Every bit of that is going to require some degree of selling, probably more aggressively than what I have to do for the work I’m already doing. And that’s okay. I’ll deal with it when the time comes and figure out the best way for me to do it.

What do you think? Can you sell without a pitch? Or do you think you have to be pushy in your approach to getting new business? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Send me a DM on Instagram – you can find me @aardvarkgirl. And if you are finding value in this podcast, please take a minute to leave a positive review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you’re listening. Those ratings and reviews help me out, so I would appreciate it.

Do you see what I did there? That was me following the common advice and including a call to action in this episode. While also being true to my awkward nature and pointing out that this is a call to action. Yay! I did sales!

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Because this seems to keep coming up in my conversations, both on this podcast and outside of it, I want to talk about it more specifically. There’s an epidemic out there, at least in America, where people use the word “busy” as an emblem of pride.

“I’m soooo busy.”

“Oh, work is great. I barely have time to sleep.”

“Oh man, I was so slammed today I completely forgot to eat.”

“You gotta hustle.”

I’m sure you’ve heard all this before. But why? We do you “gotta” hustle? I’m all for hard work, as you know. You don’t find success by doing nothing. But if you’re working so hard that you don’t have time for anything else, what’s the point?

Even if you love what you do, you need time for other things. You need a mental break from work. Time with people who aren’t your clients and vendors, even if it’s not in person.

If you Google quotes for motivation, you’ll find all kinds of memes about the hustle that are meant to be inspirational. So I’m sure my opinion on this matter is not the norm. It often isn’t. But I have never had the goal to be busy. I’ve wanted to accomplish things. I’ve wanted to be successful. I’ve wanted specific outcomes to result from my hard work. But I have never once thought, I wish I was busier.

My definition of successful doesn’t include constant busyness. I don’t want to be so busy building an empire that there isn’t time for anything else. Maybe that means I’ll never have an international multi-billion dollar corporation to my name, but that’s okay with me.

When I was contemplating leaving the corporate world, many people assumed I would start my own production company. It would’ve made sense considering I’d been managing them for so many years. But I never had any interest in that. I didn’t want a company with a building and employees and overhead and all the hassle that comes with that. I wanted something simple, where all I really needed was my laptop, minimal software, and an Internet connection. I didn’t want other people relying on me for their salaries and livelihood. I didn’t want to be stuck at another place for several hours a day, unless that place was my home. I really just wanted to do my own thing. That’s what I’ve been doing ever since.

I know I’ve said it here before, but my biggest goal in starting my business was to make more and work less. That was it. Sure, I wanted to enjoy my work more by choosing the people around me and what my schedule would be. I wanted the freedom of self-employment. I still enjoy that every single day. Goal accomplished.

But as I was working my way here, I never used the word hustle, or even thought of it in that manner. Like many of you, I started building my business while I was still employed full-time. I didn’t feel ready to just throw caution to the wind and let go of my stable income. I still had a lot of things to figure out, and at the time, I thought it was best to try to do both. But I never called Aardvark Girl my side hustle. I wasn’t moonlighting or freelancing “on the side.” I always had that mindset that I was building a business.

Of course, I was working extra hours when I was balancing them both, but that only lasted for a few months. I learned pretty early on that the 40-50 hours a week I was spending at my job was 40-50 hours a week I could be working on my own business. I wasn’t going to find the right clients and projects when I only had a few spare hours a day. So if I was going to give my time and energy to a company, I might as well do it for mine, right?

But that type of thinking goes back way further than that for me. I got my first job when I was 16. I remember telling people that I was going to work hard while I was young so I didn’t have to when I was older. I didn’t know when “older” would be, but I knew it was worthwhile to start early. People my age didn’t always understand. They rarely did. It actually started a whole debate in my AP government class in high school, but that’s another story. Then in college, a lot of people thought I was missing out on all the fun. I didn’t live on campus. I didn’t do anything or join anything school related. I didn’t party. I didn’t do any of those things you’re apparently “supposed to” do at that age. But I never felt like I was missing out on anything. I didn’t want to do those things. Come on, could you really see me in a sorority? I didn’t think so.

Instead, I was earning money. I was learning how to run a business. I asked questions. My boss taught me about IRAs. At one point I was working a full-time job, a part-time job, taking a full college course load, and maintaining my 4.0 GPA. I was truly busy. I don’t regret that at all, but I have never wanted to chase that feeling again. I did what I had to do to get where I wanted to be. That’s important. I’m grateful I started young because that’s what got me ahead. I didn’t spend 4 years having the traditional college experience. I spent those years building the foundation of my career instead.

But again, I always had that mindset that I was going to work hard then so I wouldn’t have to later on. Fast forward to later on. Like I said earlier, when I finally decided it was time to leave the corporate world to work for myself, it wasn’t so I could hustle and grind… a phrase I don’t think I’ve ever used outside of this conversation. My goal was to work less and make more. And that’s what I’ve done every year I’ve been in business. I actually use my old salary and the number of hours I worked every week (including commute time) as the measuring stick to remind myself that I made the right decision. My life is way more fulfilling because I’m more intentional with my time… because I own it.

I’m plenty busy. I’m not opposed to busy. But I do believe in the necessity of balance. If you take on a project that is going to eat up a bunch of your time, finding those little pockets to rest and decompress are more important than ever. It means that during those times, you have to be extra careful and make sure you don’t lose sight of what’s important – the basics like eating, sleeping, and exercising. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself while also taking care of your business.

I’m not trying to tell anyone that being busy is a bad thing, or that it’s realistic to be a business owner who isn’t juggling a lot of things all the time. It’s more about being mindful about your decisions and why you’re so busy. Is it because you are putting in the necessary work, or are you not being efficient with your time? Are you spending your time being productive and working towards something, or are you avoiding something else in your life by burying yourself in your work? Do you think others will judge you if you don’t give the impression that you’re constantly hustling? I’m asking these questions because I’m genuinely curious why busyness is that badge so many wear with pride.

It’s not because I don’t know what it means to hustle. It’s because I don’t know why it seems to be something people strive to do.

A few years ago, I traveled for the majority of the summer making the Dream Out Loud documentary. 25 cities in 3 months. It was a lot. I didn’t put my whole business on hold just because I was pursuing my passion project. I continued to do my other client work because I didn’t want to neglect what I’d worked so hard to build. Sometimes it meant I was in the passenger seat with my laptop working on a spreadsheet during the drive from one state to the next. Other times it meant being up at weird hours because I was in Ireland and my clients were in a much different time zone. It often meant getting up early and staying up late to work on other things because I was spending the rest of the day filming interviews for something that was important to me. But that busyness was temporary. I knew that, and it’s why I was okay doing it for a little bit.

Then last summer, I put my plans on hold to take a 3-month job, which turned into a 7-month job. That was also an informed decision. We were in the middle of a pandemic, production work had ceased, and this was a good opportunity that would allow me to do the work I enjoy from the safety of my home. It was a no brainer. But that show was considered full time for those months and I still, thankfully, had all of my regular retainer clients. And there are often times when everyone needs me all at once. I know they rely on me, so I find a way to make it work. It’s a challenge I’m grateful to have. And during those months, I didn’t completely neglect my personal projects, but when I felt I was too busy, I made the choice to stop. I prioritized all the things I needed to do, which included taking breaks to make sure I wasn’t overdoing it.

I do get the intention behind the “hustle” concept. The idea that we need to work hard for the things we want in life, and sometimes we have to make sacrifices to get there. It’s part of the journey. The best accomplishments rarely come easily, but that’s what makes them so rewarding. And hey, if you’re truly happy with being soooo busy all the time, don’t listen to me. I just hope you’re being honest with yourself about why that’s the lifestyle you want. I treasure my down time. Sometimes nothing is one of my favorite things to do. Not out of laziness, but because I earned it.

When you’re ambitious, you tend to work hard, accomplish a goal, and then instantly start working towards the next one. I tend to be that way myself sometimes, so I understand. But every now and then it’s more important to take a moment to enjoy what you’ve achieved. Pause and appreciate that you can take a break.

Owning a business is a constant juggling act, whether you’re one person doing it all or if you have a whole team. Busy isn’t a negative word. I’m not opposed to busyness in general. Busy is usually a good indication that your business is doing well. What I don’t get is when people define their quality of life by how busy they are, especially if that busy-ness they’re bragging about is secretly stressing them out. So be mindful of your workload and how much you choose to take on at a time. Hustle when you need to, but don’t make a constant grind your end goal. Work smart so you can have it all – a thriving business, and some time off to proudly spend however you want.

Less than two years ago, she left her corporate job to pursue her passion, and she's never looked back. In this episode, we talk about knowing when it's time to quit your job and become self-employed, balancing multiple interests, and being an adult while still having fun with what you do.

We also discuss the Millennial point of view of what work should be, figuring out what work style and schedule makes sense for you, and how taking breaks allows you to be more productive.

We're happy rebels who do things our own way instead of following the traditional business model.

Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl and please email info@aardvarkgirl.com with any topic suggestions, feedback, or just to say hi!

Follow Casey @muirin007 on all social platforms

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01:33 I quit my corporate job and I jumped into [voiceover] full-time. And now I've been doing this full-time for over a year. And I can't. It's bonkers.

02:56 I just think I hit a breaking point. And sometimes breaking points can be good, because it was like, well, the worst that's gonna happen is nothing. And then I still won't die.

05:03 I loved it, even when I was scared and going crazy and, like, what if this doesn't work? I was still having a ball. Because this is what I really love to do. And I know that sounds cliche. But man, it makes a difference.

06:20 Because I had abandoned the stuff that was holding me back, the corporate day job, I was able to divert that energy into finding new clients. And I within like two to three months, I built up a full-time client roster.

08:05 I've noticed among folks that are around my age that are self-employed, it's not even a question of “Are you willing to adapt to all these tech changes?” It's, well, duh, we gotta adapt!

11:27 Most people my age, from the millennial generation, have multiple jobs. Whether it's a daytime 9-5 thing and then they've got things they're doing on the side, or they're freelancing and they have multiple projects. I think that's becoming the norm, especially with all the work from home lately.

13:16 Being in charge of what I do has made me so much more productive.

15:25 I think part of the appeal of this online self-employed entrepreneurial boom that I've been seeing is that I can get the work done, you just need to let me do it. 

16:54 I think younger people entering the workforce - they've grown up with the flexibility of the Internet, and they've grown up seeing entrepreneurs and entrepreneurial mindsets - are questioning and saying, Well, why do I have to do that when I can do the same thing, but more effectively, and the work quality will be better?

18:48 More and more people I know personally, whether it's voice acting, whether they’re freelance writers, editors, artists, whatever, are kind of making this leap because I think a lot of people are just fed up with that old world model.

21:07 Ultimately, it's about what makes you happy. I know that sounds so Disney Princess, but the older I get, and the more I do this, and the more people I talk to, do what you want to do. Seriously. 

A big challenge for me was shifting from "Oh my God, I failed once. I have to say 10 Hail Marys. Oh, no, what am I going to do to?" to "What can I learn from it? Let's try this and see if it sticks. Oh, that didn't work. Try this. That didn't work. Oh, that did." That kind of freedom lets you explore and fail and be okay with it.

23:54 I think it was about me believing in me and getting away from all those voices that told you, for one reason or another, you can't do this.

24:59 And I think it's, especially for women, that ability to say, "You can do this. You're going to be fine." Ask for help when you need it, which is so hard to do. But that's the other critical skill I've learned.

27:17 Kind of on the flip side, there's absolutely a tendency to romanticize it. Like I can just go take a three-hour ice cream break or whatever. Yay! You're on your own! I'm free! But now you've got to do the work. Nothing's going to fall into your lap. 

28:30 It's been hard. It's been, at times, exhausting and scary, because it's kind of like I was used to following the mold that was set out for me. And now I'm building my own. I don't regret it for a second, I cannot believe, for real, that I wake up every morning and get to make noises in a box for a living.

30:15 This has also been a big process of me learning. What can you logically, realistically do today, Casey? I am never bored, which is good. I've always got a one-man song and dance show in some way going on over here.

31:46 It's another fun way to get the creativity out. I've been able to partner with some awesome charity organizations because of the cosplay stuff I do, and do some great work with them. I can't stop making stuff ever.

34:41 I think we get to a place when we're adults where we almost tell ourselves, "I can't have fun anymore. I have to be serious." And that's part of why it took me so long to get away from my corporate job. I was like, well, it's not realistic. And now I'm like, who says? People do this all the time! So I want to encourage people to just let themselves play again and have fun. 

36:06 Probably one of the most important things I've learned since going full-time self-employed is knowing when to take a break. Being self-employed also doesn't mean you're going to be working 200 hours a week, forever and ever, and then you crash. No. A huge part of it is learning when to stop. And that's another kind of freedom.

37:43 I can't do anything or make any money at all if I'm exhausted. There's no way. Take a break when you can. 

39:14 Everything's cyclical. There are going to be busy times and downtimes. So just being able to take advantage of that, I'm so much more productive when I do.

41:06 The other thing you start to realize is these [clients], they're also just regular people. And that kind of takes a lot of the intimidation out of it for me. I think people are, in some ways, more understanding than I would give them credit for.

44:50 If you know you do a lot of your best work at one in the morning, and that's naturally how your body clock is, and it's not going to hurt you, go for it!

46:17 Listen to what your body responds to naturally. Listen to what work techniques and patterns and workflows work best for you. Try different ones. A lot of this has been me reteaching myself to listen to myself. I think a lot of our work culture has taught us to turn that off. Don't listen to yourself. Just keep going. Just push it, push it, push it. There are times when you need to do that, and that's fine. But, just speaking from personal experience, I've been so much more productive, and so much happier, since I've allowed myself to be like I work best at this time.

47:42 Believe in yourself and reach out when you need help. Get rid of the idea that you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps with absolutely everything and you're totally on your own. That's not how human beings work. Use your support system, your network, find one. You can do so much more than you think you can.

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, email info@aardvarkgirl.com or find me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you want to work with me, that’s where you’ll find me, too.

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There’s a new-ish social media app called Clubhouse. It’s still in its beta form and is currently only available to iPhone users, and only by invitation. You can find me there @aardvarkgirl. If you’re not on it, don’t tune out yet. You may have heard all the hype and wonder what it’s all about. You may have seen posts on other social platforms with people asking, sometimes even begging for an invitation. You may be asking uh, what is Clubhouse?

It’s not like me to get excited about another app. I haven’t made it a secret that I’m not the best at social media. I’m not consistent with posting because I don’t love it and often don’t feel like I have much to say or share. Ironic coming from a podcaster who’s talking every week, right?  But I am finding a ton of value in Clubhouse. And because it seems to be such a hot topic, I wanted to chat with you about it.

Clubhouse is an audio-based social media app. There are no visuals except for your profile picture. There aren’t any DMs. Nothing is recorded (at least it’s not supposed to be). It’s all real-time conversations. Think about the old school chat rooms back in the 90s when the Internet was gaining in popularity. It’s like that but with voice instead of text. So for me, it eliminates a lot of those things I don’t love about social media, like the need to constantly create content if you want to stay relevant.

My friend Tiffany introduced me to Clubhouse in December of 2020, about 8 months after it was formed. I hadn’t heard about it yet but after doing a little research I was really curious to check it out. Fortunately, we were both able to get invitations that night so I could start exploring. As a podcaster, the idea of having actual discussions about topics was appealing. Especially when factoring in that I wouldn’t have to spend any time trying to create an appealing graphic or photo or video. I could just show up and offer my input where it was needed.

When you join, you can create rooms based on topics you want to discuss, or join other people’s rooms. You can silently listen in or you can raise your hand if you want to go “on stage” and speak. The moderators accept you and keep everyone organized, if they’re doing it right, so no one is talking over each other. Beyond that, there aren’t really any rules as far as how long a room will be open, what topics are available, or anything else. You can find all kinds of themes and moderation styles. There are rooms that last a few minutes and some will continue all day, overnight, and keep going into the next day. If you consistently host rooms, eventually you’ll be given the ability to start a club. Then people can follow your club and you can invite them to join and you can build up a whole new network that way.

People are offering so much value in these rooms. Yes, some people are pushing their own brand and products and looking for sales. You’ll never be able to get away from that. But so many people will jump in and just want to help or offer their own input and advice from their experiences. The app started with celebrities, and many of them are still in there actively participating in conversations. Not just actors, but also entrepreneurs and experts in so many areas of business. Do you want some marketing advice from Grant Cardone? He’s on there pretty much every day. Do you have a question for Tiffany Haddish? She’s there, too, offering her raw and unfiltered perspective. I got to have a discussion with Justine Bateman about the documentary I produced. These are conversations that aren’t possible elsewhere.

Of course, as an introvert, it can be a little intimidating talking to strangers. Didn’t our parents teach us not to do that anyway? I don’t particularly care for talking on the phone, and that’s essentially what this is. But it’s a more natural way of engagement because there are multiple participants. I love doing this podcast, but it’s very one-sided. It’s just me talking. Or my guest if I have one. But other than the personal messages I receive, which I appreciate very much, I don’t really get that interpersonal feedback. The other side of the conversation never really happens. So I’ve enjoyed getting involved and collaborating with others. I do tend to stick to rooms with smaller audiences, but I’ve also listened in to a room that had over 2000 people in it because Gary Vaynerchuk was hosting. Apparently he’s pretty popular!

Like with all social media, it kind of is what you make of it. There are going to be people who don’t align with what you’re looking to do. You might not like the advice some are giving. You might disagree with their point of view. Some will be constantly trying to sell and promote their own agenda without offering anything in return. Some are going to try to implement rules like you have to follow the moderators in order to speak, or you have to invite x amount of people to join their club. Your call. I just don’t participate in those. They’re allowed to do whatever they want, but you can choose where and how you want to engage.

There’s this whole sense of FOMO… the fear of missing out... that’s making people obsess about getting into Clubhouse. People are actually selling invitations online, trying to capitalize on the desperation of people who want to get in. And then being on it all the time because there is no saving this chat for later. You either hear it live or it’s gone. But that doesn’t bother me. I’m not spending hours a day on it, so I know I’m “missing” a ton. But that’s fine. When I have time to be on, it’ll be a surprise what I will find at any given moment.

The most unfortunate mistake I’m seeing… and yes, I call it a mistake because it’s not how the app is intended to be used. But again, every user can choose how to use it. But the mistake is that they are treating it like all other platforms, thinking the most important thing is to get followers. But that’s not how it’s meant to work. You get access to rooms based on who you follow, so you should be strategic about it. Follow people in your industry or in your target customer base, or with whom you just want to connect. Follow people who share your interests, whether they’re related to your business, your hobbies, or just topics you like to discuss. If you follow a bunch of random people just trying to get them to follow you back and get your count up, you’re going to see a bunch of random stuff you don’t care about. And that can take away from what you do care about.

For a while, I was seeing a bunch of silent “follow for follow rooms” where the idea was that people would just go in there throughout the day and follow everyone who was in there. It made me cringe. So any time I saw someone I followed in one of those rooms, I unfollowed them. Now, fortunately, I don’t see them anymore. I’m pretty much like this everywhere, but Clubhouse is definitely a place where I’d rather have a small group of intentional followers than a whole bunch of people who don’t actually care about what I have to say.

For anyone wondering what the point is, I guess for me it’s about genuine engagements with people I wouldn’t be in touch with otherwise. Not just celebrities and other high-profile people, but those whose paths I might not cross on other platforms. I’ve only participated in a few rooms at this point, because I’ve only had little spurts of time to dedicate to it. Most of them have been film or podcast-related. I didn’t pitch myself or ask anyone to listen to my podcast in any of those. I just offered advice when it was asked or offered any commentary I thought would be helpful. In one week, my podcast downloads were up over 60% and I didn’t do anything else differently. The Women in Film club asked me to co-host a room about dispelling the idea that artists have to struggle financially. I connected with others in the industry who I didn’t know before that.

People hear you talk, they get curious, and they check out your Clubhouse profile. The profile can be linked to your Instagram and Twitter accounts, so people can also connect with you in other places.

I would love to hear your input about Clubhouse. If you’re on it, what do you think about it? What value have you gotten? Or what frustrations have you had? Do you think it lives up to the hype or do you think it will fizzle out quickly? If you’re not on it, do you want to be? Or do you want nothing to do with it? Let me know! Send me an email at info@aardvarkgirl.com or DM me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you’re on Clubhouse, find me there! Let’s start a room and chat about something fun. If you’re not and want to be, let me know. If I have any invitations available, maybe I can help! Either way, let me know what you think. This app seems to be a hot topic and I’m curious to see where it’ll go.

Is there a topic you want to hear about? Or do you have a question for me? Email info@aardvarkgirl.com  and let me know!

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January is typically a time when people plan on changing their eating habits to be healthier. Sadly, many don’t stick with it for more than a few weeks. It can be hard to make big lifestyle changes for a number of reasons. When you’re a business owner, you might feel like you don’t have enough time to make healthy meals every day or get enough sleep at night. You might be so wrapped up in a project that you forget to drink enough water or exercise or any of those things that are good for you.

But what does diet have to do with running a business? Quite a bit. So much of how we feel mentally starts with how we are physically. And how we feel can have a great impact on our productivity and the quality of work we’re delivering. Taking care of ourselves helps us take care of our clients who help take care of our businesses.  

I’m not talking about the extra self-care, the more luxurious things like getting massages and going on vacations. I’m talking about the day-to-day are you doing what you need to do to stay healthy things. Eat. Sleep. Exercise. Hydrate. The basics of life. It’s not about the number on a scale, how much weight you can lift, or how many reps you can do. It’s about what you can do to feel good inside so you can perform at your best no matter what you’re doing.

I’m sure it won’t surprise you to hear me say that the “right” way to do this depends on you. I think a big part of the issue, and why so many people don’t stick with any one diet or exercise regimen is because it’s formulated for someone else. There isn’t a one-size-fits all solution for it because we are all physiologically different in what we need. I know a ton of people right now doing the keto thing. That would never work for me. I’ve been a vegetarian for at least 25 years. But I don’t think it’s right for everyone. Some people love crossfit. I think that’s still a thing. It’s not a thing I’ll ever do. Nor would I recommend pilates to everyone (although I kind of do. It’s amazing). It all really depends on your genetics, your abilities, and your goals.

I am pretty sure, however, that if you’re listening to this podcast, one of your goals is to have a successful business. Successful as defined by you. So let’s start by building the foundation that will help keep you at your best so you can focus on what matters.

Eat. I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with food. I love to eat, but I hate having to decide what to eat 3 times a day every single day. It’s exhausting. Especially because I don’t get proper food cravings where something specific sounds good. But it must be done. Choosing the right food can affect how you feel throughout the day. And again, this is an individual thing.

I chose to become a vegetarian for a number of reasons when I was a teenager. Some rational, like the obvious health benefits and caring about animals. Some not so rational, like I didn’t want to eat the food my mom’s boyfriend at the time made for dinner. It started off as a rebellion of sorts, but I instantly found out how much better I felt all the time when I stopped eating meat. I didn’t get so much as a cold for nearly 9 years and I felt lighter - not weight-wise, but not that heavy and sluggish feeling after a meal. So I’ve stuck with it all this time. It helps me stay energized and focused throughout the workday, and every day .

I start every day with a glass of celery juice. About 15-30 minutes later, I have a smoothie – it’s usually a mix of coconut water, greens, frozen berries, orange, banana, ginger, cinnamon, and some superfood powders. I also take my vitamins and other supplements at the same time – a women’s multivitamin multimineral made from raw fruits & vegetables (I’m a big fan of the Garden of Life brand – it’s important to check the ingredient list to make sure there isn’t a bunch of stuff you don’t need to consume in there), Super B Complex, Vitamin D, a probiotic, and CBD oil. It helps me get the day started on the right foot with the right nutrients for me.

Lunch and dinner depend on the week, but I stick to clean ingredients with everything. I’m a big fan of making my own food, which helps a lot. I don’t eat at, or order from, restaurants unless it’s for a social situation. I know people love going out to eat, but for me, I like to know where my food came from and what is actually in what I’m consuming. I also rarely buy anything I can make at home – things like salad dressings and pasta sauces. They’re simple to make, I think they taste better, and they don’t have all those added ingredients when I do it.

Food prep is definitely my answer to those who think they don’t have time to make healthy meals every day. I don’t either, nor do I want to. But I do dedicate a few hours every Sunday to making and prepping all of my food for the week, at least Monday through Friday. That way I don’t have to wonder what I’m going to eat that day or get into that place of being too tired or not motivated to cook. That’s when the tendency is to just grab something quick and not necessarily the best option. It’s all about setting myself up for success, just like with my business.

Sleep. I don’t know about you, but if I don’t get 7-8 hours of sleep at night, I’m not at my best the next day. I can still get my work done, but my brain isn’t as clear and my energy level is lower, and that affects my productivity. I end up getting more easily distracted and am less motivated to get things done.

Part of ensuring I get a good night’s sleep means I have to stop working at least 2 hours before I go to bed, ideally more. My brain needs the time to reset. Otherwise it’s like my subconscious is still working when I’m trying to sleep. I swear sometimes my brain is its own person because it does things that the “I” I feel doesn’t do. Not sure if that makes sense at all, but there seems to be an internal disconnect at times. I also make it a point not to eat after 7pm because I find that eating later can affect my sleep as well. I know the common advice is to get 8 hours of sleep every night, but I find that it depends on the person. Some are perfectly fine on less sleep, some need more. 7-8 hours is my sweet spot. Much more than that and I actually feel just as bad as if I get less. I make it a priority to go to bed around the same time every night so I can stay on a regular routine because that’s what works for me. And I don’t want to be that person who’s yawning on a Zoom call with a client because I stayed up late watching a show.

Exercise. This can be a tough one during the day, especially if you’re working all day from home in a chair behind a desk. I make it a non-negotiable part of my schedule. It’s a priority to me, not only because I want to stay healthy, but because it is part of my pain management routine. I have a lot of issues with joints and inflammation. Some of it is genetic, like my migraines and sensitivity to barometric pressure changes (basically I’m allergic to the weather). Some is the result of a car accident when I was 17. Through many years of trying different things, I found that pilates is what works best for me. Pre-COVID I would go to the studio 4-5 days a week and that was fantastic. Now, I haven’t been able to go for almost a year, and that makes me sad. But, when the studio originally shut down, I invested in some equipment to use at home and I still make myself go to class, so to speak, at least 4 days a week. It’s not the same, but it’s something. O is that now I tend to do it in the morning before I get into my workday vs before when I’d go in the afternoon and use it as a way to separate my workday from my personal time. I’m still not entirely sure which I prefer. But I keep trying different things until I figure it out. With everything. That includes my business. They key thing is to do something to make sure you’re moving. I know I feel lousy if I don’t. And if I feel lousy, I’m not doing my best work.

I do weird little things, too, to force myself to get up and walk around throughout the day. I intentionally don’t have a trash can in my office. I know I can’t handle clutter, so it makes me get up and walk into another room if I need to throw something away. I also took a tip from my friend Melissa and started drinking out of a smaller water bottle. I was in this habit of having my giant water bottle with me at all times, because I drink a lot of water. I’ll get to that in a minute. But that started when I was working in an office. I recently had to tell myself hey, that’s not necessary anymore. You can get up and get more any time you feel like it. So I downgraded from my 32 ounce bottle to a 16 ounce one. That encourages me to get up twice as often. It doesn’t mean I’m going on an hour-long walk, but some movement is better than none.

Hydrate. Water. So important. It always surprises me whenever I hear someone say they don’t drink much water. And that seems to happen a lot. I average about a gallon a day. It’s pretty much all I drink. I don’t do coffee or soda or any drink with sugar. I do love my tea, but I’m a bit of a purist. I tend to stick with straight green, black or oolong loose-leaf tea. Sometimes I’ll add honey, but usually not. And I won’t drink any tea after 2pm because even though there isn’t a ton of caffeine in it, I am super sensitive to caffeine and if I have it too late, it’ll affect my sleep. And I already talked about how important sleep is to me.

Now, I live in a desert, so hydration is extra important to me, but it’s important to everyone. It helps keep you functioning properly as a human, which helps keep you functioning properly while running your business. It can help with your sleep, your mood, and your   brain function, too – all of which are important parts of being at your best. If I sound repetitive, it’s because it’s true of all the things I’m talking about here.

It’s important to listen to what your body is telling you about everything. Your body, not your brain, because there is a huge psychological component to things like diet and exercise that doesn’t always align with what we actually need. But when we’re in tune with ourselves, we don’t really have to guess about what to do as much. Go to bed when you’re tired. Eat when you’re hungry. Rest when you’re feeling overworked. Simple. Right? I’m kidding – I know it’s not always that simple. I’m fortunate that I haven’t had to wake up to an alarm for several years. I’m a morning person, so I naturally wake up early, usually between 6-7am. I’m able to follow my natural rhythm and I schedule my day based on my energy levels, which are pretty predictable at this point. I really am a routine person. Not that I can’t veer from it but having that structure in place has been a huge benefit to me, and to my business.

If you’re not sure what is right for you, journaling is a great way to figure it out. You can do it with food. Keep a log of what you eat, when you eat, and how you feel each day. You might find that certain foods cause certain reactions, good or bad. You can do it with sleep. Write down when you go to bed, when you wake up, if it took you a long time to fall asleep or if you were out right away. You can do it with exercise. When and for how long did you work out each day? What did you do? How did you feel immediately after? How about the next day? And you can do it with hydration. How much water did you drink? What else did you drink? How did you feel that day?

You can’t form better habits if you don’t know what is and what isn’t working for you. So just like I talk about with time management and scheduling, the best place to start is to figure out how much time you’re actually spending on the things you’re doing. It’s the same advice here. Pay attention to yourself and you can figure out the best way to stay healthy as a person, and give your best to your business so it can stay healthy, too.

In this episode, we talk about how growing up in Switzerland shaped his outlook on seeking "busyness," how formal training (he got his BA in drama from Dartmouth and a Masters in Acting at Temple University) gave him more tools for expression, which allows him more freedom.

We also discuss how the "Yes, and..." principle of Improv can be applied to your business or life outside of comedy, why mindset (or heartset, as he likes to call it) has become so meaningful, and the importance of getting out of your head and creating a path that feels good from the neck down.

Connect with Marcus:

IG: @themarcusweissexperience 

Facebook: The Marcus Weiss Experience and Marcus Jacob Weiss

Twitter: @swissmarcus

Mastermind: "Express & Connect"

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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl or on Clubhouse @aardvarkgirl

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01:36 I have no sort of inherent, vague, foggy fears about communication or about expressing myself or about connecting with other people. 

03:18 There are those who consider being out of your comfort zone to be like a negative thing. And then there's those, and you can sort of train yourself, who consider coming out of your comfort zone to be an exciting thing. Like, Ooh! I am out of my comfort zone! I'm going to be growing! I'm going to be learning something!

06:00 I suppose the way that I look at training is, I just have more tools of expression. For me, more training and more knowledge creates more freedom, because it gives me more room. It gives me more toys to play with.

09:36 Improv has that foundation of a “Yes, and” mindset, which means that things that you see, things that you experience, people that you meet, conversations, situations, there's always a “YES! I'm going to embrace that. AND I'm going to add to it.” In other words, I'm going to take what's happening, and I'm going to incorporate it. I'm going to welcome it. And I'm going to change what my idea was. YES! I'm going to be expanded by that. AND we're going to create something together that didn't exist before. So it's a technical thing, but it's also a mindset.

12:08 Being flexible and saying yes to the possibilities of any situation can be really important.

14:00 When things don’t meet what our expectations, we don't feel good. Things that ultimately don't feel good, don't make us happy, and therefore, don't make those around us happy. And we're ultimately not making the world a better place or a more uplifted place.

16:13 Things take work, but there's a lot that we can do in terms of how we sort of look at the world. 

17:04 There was a certain philosophical, cultural, and political context that I grew up in (in Switzerland) that I perceived as very different when I came to the States. When I came back, I remember specifically that there was this, like, muscular, almost aggressive pursuit of like achievement, and happiness, and fulfillment.

19:36 What's important? I think whatever makes us feel alive. But some of us grab onto this notion of growing, and then we attach measurements to it, and that's where that sort of judgment comes in, like I gotta do more.

20:55 We're busy. But I think we have to be aware of the really underneath of that. What would you feel like if you stopped for an hour? Or an afternoon? Or a day or a week?

22:04 I think everybody wants to feel that we’re enough. It all starts with what you're saying to yourself, right? Feelings ultimately have to do with the story that you're telling yourself, and the way that you interpret situations. 

24:54 90% of what I did up to the slowdown went away, because I was teaching in classrooms live and I was performing virtually full time. And I had a lot of day jobs. At first, because we were in such crisis mode, I didn't really register it as much. The reality of not being able to connect with people in that way live didn't really sink in for about two months. Then I realized that that is something that I feel really attached to in my life.

29:39 If we ask ourselves the right questions, or if we ask each other the right questions, we can get to the issues together. And if the intention of those questions is coming from a… I was gonna say a loving place, or a joyful place, but even if it's just coming from a constructive place, or from an objective place, or from a place where we intend to solve things together, I think we can really go far. As two people hanging out, or as groups, or as a culture, as a society and as a world.

37:08 I want to be able to unfold, and I think it's interesting that a lot of what I've done have been pieces that have allowed me to go to those different kinds of places.

41:14 If you're having a real moment with somebody, a real intimate moment with one person, or maybe with two people, an audience of 2000 people will zoom in on it. And I think the reason they're zooming in on it is not because there's a lot happening, it's because our hearts are discovering something that all of us would like to experience.

45:03 If I give you my time, I'm giving the most precious thing I have. 

46:09 Life of a performer, it can be so uncertain. It can be filled with ups and downs, lefts and rights. It's completely nonlinear, but so is life a lot of time. And full of disappointment. It's like you work really hard, and there's a lot of stuff that doesn't seem like it's in your control, you know? So there can be a tendency to feel disappointed. So you're always working on that. If you graduated from medical school, you're not all of a sudden, like, hmmm, yeah, you're not gonna ever work. It's not like you’re like, oh, man, I did two operations this year! Oh, that was a good year for me! But with actors, it's kind of like, hey, man, I got a job this year!

47:59 I've noticed that every time I'm able to fully express myself with the intention of connecting with others, and sharing our hearts with each other, that's when life happens. And so whatever context that somebody might be in, whether it's a live Instagram video, or whether it's talking to your family, or whether it's being a being an actor in front of 2000 people, if somebody can find a way to express their voice, their story, their message, and connect with others so that they feel heard and seen and felt, then it will uplift everyone and it will give other people permission to do the same. And I think that will serve everybody.

55:36 I think we all just want the world to “Yes, and” us. But it takes it takes faith and courage. And then the experience that it might be happening. Your confidence will come from competence, but you have to take the action first, and then it becomes this loop. You just gotta find a way to say the right things to yourself and to your brain and to your heart. Take the action and do it. And then praise yourself, allow yourself to be kind to yourself, love yourself enough to take that in. That'll build your confidence.

56:55 Permit yourself to not give up. If you feel like doing it, even for a while, then do it. But keep on trying to check in with yourself and see if it's really where you want to head. And then there's always a way, no matter what. Keep finding a way to turn towards what feels good from the neck down. All the thoughts, that's great, and the analysis of things, that's great. But there's a lot of ways to live your life and to create your path anywhere, but particularly in the arts and creative professionals. But what's important is that it feels good in your in your whole self.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel like you just can’t catch up? Like every time you cross one thing off of your to do list, you’ve added three more? That’s the kind of week I had last week. I started off with what I considered to be a reasonable list of things to accomplish. Get all of the year-end reporting done for my business and for my clients. Send out all the 1099s. Produce a short video to kick off the new year. Get some podcast episodes finished so I can get ahead again. And all of my usual weekly client work.

Some of the things on that list, mostly related to the podcast, I had planned on doing the weekend before. New Year’s Day fell on a Friday so it felt like I had an extra day. I had every intention of being productive. I did get some things done around the house that I’d been wanting to do for a while. Remember back in March of 2020 when everyone was organizing their pantries? I took a bit longer to get around to it. But organizing my pantry turned into organizing every single thing in my kitchen. It took a bit longer than I was expecting. And there was a new season of Cobra Kai I had to watch, of course. That was very important.

Then Saturday I just wasn’t into it. I woke up with a headache and I knew I needed a day of rest. I always think it’s important to listen to your body when it’s telling you what you need. So even though I kept hearing in the back of my mind that I should get some stuff done, I knew I needed the break. Sunday is my food prep day and I got a bit ambitious with all of the recipes I wanted to make for the week. And then suddenly the long weekend was gone. Oops.

I wasn’t too concerned about it though. I only put things off when I know there’s enough time to put them off. So I often bargain with myself. For example, “I’m going to binge this show this weekend and then if I need to work later than usual next week, that’s fine.” Or “I am going to spend all day Saturday on my personal projects this weekend and next weekend I’m going to stay away from all screens.” When you run your own business, you get to do things like that because you really only have to answer to yourself. And maybe your clients, but I would never put off work that needs to be done for them.

I always say you have to put yourself first sometimes. Whether that means taking a day for self-care or turning down a client project because you have things you need to do for your own business. But sometimes the right move for you and your business is to delay your plan and focus on what they need. Within reason, of course. The level of service I give to my clients is why they’re so loyal to me. They know they can depend on me. And I never want to be the person that someone is waiting for. I get frustrated when I’m delayed on what I need to do because someone else hasn’t done their part yet. I know how many times I’ve been venting to someone that I’m at a standstill because I can’t do anything I need to do until someone else gets back to me with something. I don’t ever want to be the person someone is venting about.

I think it’s important when you’re running your business, or just in being a human in general, to keep in mind what it would feel like if the roles were reversed. If you were the client and were being held up because someone you were paying wasn’t getting their work done, would you want to keep working with them? Again, within reason. I’m not talking about those clients who don’t respect boundaries or expect you to drop everything any time they need you. That’s a separate topic. But being considerate of other people’s workflow is really important.

And when your workflow involves managing several clients who are all on their own schedules and timelines, you have to balance those with your own. That’s where prioritizing comes into play. Determining which tasks you need to do first and which can wait. There are a number of ways to do this, and the best way really depends on how you process information, because we’re all different. For me, I do best with good old-fashioned to do lists. Well, I guess not TOO old-fashioned because mine are digital, but every now and then I do go back to my trusty post-it note system. That’s where I actually write down things I need to do so I have something right in front of me (versus a to do list in my phone that I only see when I’m intentionally looking at it). When I’m done with it, the post-it note goes away. This is what I used to do when I worked in an office. It was simple and effective.

And don’t worry, I fill up both sides so I’m not just wasting paper. And I recycle.

But for the most part, I stick with my digital lists. I usually have a few – one for the day, one for the week, one for the bigger picture, one for a specific project, etc. I’ll start by listing everything I know I need to do. Once it’s all there, I start moving things around in order of priority. Anything with a hard deadline gets put to the top. Anything that’s going to take less than 30 minutes is next, mostly because I can knock those out and get them off the list - and the fewer things on the list means the fewer things my brain is thinking about, which means a lower possibility of feeling stressed.

Sometimes it’s best to take a few minutes, even when you feel you don’t have a few minutes to spare, to make sure you’re working effectively. Prioritizing is a huge part of that. Take a few deep breaths, and then make a plan. Look at your list and check in with yourself – are you stressing about things you can get done tomorrow? Stop. Focus on what you legitimately need to get done today. This isn’t about procrastinating, it’s about being realistic with how much time you have and making sure you aren’t burning yourself out trying to get it all done, especially if some of it doesn’t actually have to be done right away.

That’s where last  week got a little tricky for me, though. While I know the importance of prioritizing, and I have my own systems in place for doing that, I wasn’t paying attention to them. Or I was, but my systems collided a little bit. I would be making progress on something, but then a client request would come in. I knew that it wouldn’t take me very long, so I’d get that done and then go back to my own stuff. But what seemed to happen, in a way that became almost comical, is that everyone needed something little at the same time. I also wasn’t expecting the final episode of the series I’m working on to get cast this week. So I was already managing one shoot, and then had to start prepping for another, so there was a lot added to my plate in the middle of the week.

And the silly thing is, one of the things that was bugging me was feeling like I had all this extra stuff to do. I’ve always spent the first week of January getting everything done for taxes – for myself and for my clients. Filing quarterly and annual reports, reviewing P&Ls and balance sheets, 1099s, making sure we all have what we need for our CPAs. I love getting that done early for two reasons. First, I just like to have it out of the way. I usually get my taxes done in February. I feel like I get more attention from my accountant because she gets busier and busier the closer it gets to April. Secondly, as I mentioned before, I don’t want anyone waiting for me.

But the thing is, none of that is actually due in the first week of January. I have 3 more weeks to get 1099s done. Even longer for the tax stuff. So there’s no reason to feel like I’m behind on that. Sometimes we just have to acknowledge when we’re not being rational, laugh about it, and move on.

So here’s what I did. Anything related to the show got done immediately. There are a lot of people involved and a lot of moving parts, so that always has to take top priority. Then I worked on any client requests that would take 30 minutes or less. I periodically checked all of my various client email addresses to make sure all questions were answered. Towards the end of the day, when it seemed everything pertinent had been addressed, I started working on my own projects. I worked later than usual, but stopped when I knew it was best for me, which is usually when I need to eat dinner. I rarely work after dinner unless something is truly urgent. That is my time to decompress and make sure I’m at my best for the next day.

I got the important things done by the end of the day Friday. Did I get to everything on my list? No. Will I have to take time on Saturday to make sure I have a podcast to publish on Monday? That’s what I’m doing right now. Will I get all that tax stuff done? Nope. That’s not weekend worthy this far ahead of the actual deadline. I’ll do my best to get to it next week. Because doing my best is all I can really do. And best can have different meanings. To me, my best is not working so many hours that I’m exhausted. My best is not beating myself up because I couldn’t get everything done in the amount of time I had hoped. My best is a balance of setting ambitious goals and accepting my limitations.

So if you’re feeling like you have too much to do, you can’t get caught up, there’s not enough time… we’ve all been there. We will all be there at various points in our lives. Take a break, give yourself a break, and do the best you can to prioritize and get back on track.

I'm on Clubhouse @aardvarkgirl

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Because of everything that happened in 2020, I think a lot of people are putting a ton of pressure on 2021 to be better. But things don’t suddenly change overnight because the calendar says it’s a new year. So let’s not focus on the date so much as how we approach the current moment.

I’m not against New Year's resolutions as a concept. I think it’s important to set goals, intentions, and make plans. But I think those activities should be ongoing throughout the year. What usually happens is people get these grand ideas of all the positive changes they’re going to make in their lives. They get excited. They talk about the great things they’re going to do. Things they’ve been putting off or haven’t been focused enough to accomplish. And everything is instantly going to change when the ball drops.

But then what often happens, is they drop the ball. The resolutions weren’t realistic. Whatever the reason, that excitement that was building in December plummets, and they’re often left feeling worse about their situation than before. Why? Because they feel like they failed. They made a declaration and didn’t follow through. So now they not only have to deal with all those things they still want to change, but also an enhanced disappointment in themselves. It’s too much pressure, and it’s often not fair.

We should always be striving to improve the way we run our businesses, and there is no blueprint for what the “right” way is. Success is very personal because we all want different things, so goals are very personal, too.

The other tricky part about setting goals at the beginning of the year is that things change between January and December. As business owners, we always have to be prepared to pivot. To go in a completely different direction than what we initially expected.

I think about my role as a producer. So much of that work is about anticipating changes and expecting the unexpected. And then when something happens that wasn’t in any of your backup plans, you have to think quickly, take charge, and find a solution. 

And that’s how life works a lot of the time, too. You may have spent a ton of time planning what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it and what it’s going to be like when you reach that goal. But sometimes something out of your control is going to happen and totally throw you off course. When that happens, you basically have two choices. You let that change defeat you and give up, or you figure out a new plan and keep moving forward.

Changing course doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Changing your mind doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Sometimes that thing that happens, that thing that’s out of your control, is you. You change your mind. Somewhere along your journey, you decide that it’s not the right path for you after all. Your priorities shift. You find something new you’re more passionate about. No matter what happens, you have every right to change your mind. Don’t hold yourself hostage to an idea if it no longer resonates with you. You haven’t wasted your time if you’ve learned something, even if what you’ve learned is that you don’t actually want what you thought you did.

So how do you set goals, whether they’re for the new year or any other time, when the only constant is change? You’ve probably heard about SMART goals, and if you haven’t, do a quick Google search. The gist of it is to be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound.

Specific means detailed. You don’t want a vague resolution like “I want to lose weight.” Instead, be specific – “I want to lose 20lbs.”

Measurable means there is some kind of statistic you can reference. So instead of “I am going to do better at pitching my services,” you would say, “I am going to reach out to 10 potential clients every week.”

Attainable means to be realistic. Is your goal practical? If you made $50,000 dollars last year, is it reasonable to set a goal of making $500,000 this year? Maybe. I hope so, for your sake. But unless you have a really strong plan in motion to make that happen, maybe you should set the goal to make 10% more than you did last year. Aim to beat your goal, but don’t make it so far-fetched that you’re setting yourself up for potential disappointment.

Relevant means it’s significant and really matters to you. If you’re like me and don’t love social media, and it doesn’t really convert to business for you anyway, it probably doesn’t make sense to set a goal to post every day. You might have a goal to shift your mindset and try to embrace a platform to see if it does improve your business, but make sure the goal is relevant to what you’re doing, and not just because the experts out there say you “have” to.

Time-based means give yourself a deadline. Every goal should have a deadline, even if it feels arbitrary. Without it, it’s too easy to put things off for every reason in the world. So don’t just tell yourself you’re going to write 10 new blog posts. Tell yourself you’re going to write 10 blog posts by January 31st. It’s a way to keep yourself accountable.

I think it’s helpful to balance out short- and long- term goals. It’s great to have those big picture ideas for the entire year, but break those down into smaller pieces with checkpoints along the way. 

So if your goal is to increase your income by 10% for the year, think about what you’re going to do to accomplish that.

Is it more client outreach? Email 5 potential clients a day.

A bigger investment in advertising? Create a new social media ad campaign in the first quarter and create one element of it every week.

Do you need to spend more time networking? Dedicate 2 hours every Wednesday to engaging in your Facebook groups or Clubhouse rooms.

Developing a new product or service? Plan out the different modules of your online course so you can complete one every two weeks.

Whatever it is, lay it all out there and keep breaking it down into smaller steps. Make it so detailed that all you have to do is start crossing things off your list.

And as you start working through the pieces, what do you do when things change? Update your plan! You want to find that balance between accountable and flexible. If one step doesn’t work out the way you intended, don’t give up on the whole thing. If you don’t accomplish one of your goals, don’t abandon the idea of setting them altogether. Instead, replace it with something new. Keep working towards something, whatever makes the most sense for you.

My goal with this episode is not to sway you against making New Year’s resolutions, or any other traditions you might have for this time of year. It’s only to encourage you ti think about the practicality of what you’re resolving to do. Be conscious of how you really feel. What is your motivation for that goal? Are you doing it because you really want to, or is it just because you think you should? Or if you’re almost there and it suddenly doesn’t feel right, is it because you’re not sure you want it anymore? Or could you actually be afraid of what happens when you get there? Fear of success is a real thing. When you spend so much time and energy working towards something, you often don’t know what to do when you get it. And then there’s a tendency to jump right into the next goal.

I think it’s great to be motivated and to strive for more. But I hope you at least take a little time to appreciate what you have accomplished. It’s okay to stay still for a bit to acknowledge your achievements and take a break from the hustle to honor yourself.

So go ahead and make your New Year’s resolutions, if that’s the right thing for you. But while you’re thinking about what you want to do differently, take a minute to remember what you want to stay the same. Make new goals, sure, but don’t only focus on the things you don’t have or that you don’t think you’re doing well. Balance that out with what you do have and what you are doing well, and keep that in mind as you work your way through this year.

You’ve already done so much, so give yourself some credit. And while you’re at it, give yourself permission. Permission to go after what you want. Permission to be proud of what you’ve accomplished. And permission to change your mind if what you’re thinking isn’t working for you. Whatever it is you want to do, you can start taking steps now, no matter what date is on the calendar. Happy new year!

In this episode, we talk about Molly's career path and how she's had to create the opportunities she wants for herself. Even when people told her she didn't have "it," she never took "no" for an answer because she believed in herself and knew she could do it. Hear how she made it happen, what she's learned, and why it's so important to stay true to yourself.

Connect with me on your favorite podcast platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Connect with Molly @MollySullivanTV

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01:02 I was a tomboy in a dress, so sports is totally in the blood. The NBA was my first love.

02:41 I'm a firm believer in the universe and everything attached to it and somebody is always listening. I always loved telling stories.

04:47 I'm super grateful for the bad moments. At the time, I was kicking and I was screaming because I wanted to continue covering the NBA, and it just wasn't in the cards. But that was the best move of my career, and I didn't make it. I owe those people a thank you card because it led me to the NFL. It led me back home to Las Vegas where I grew up, and now my daughter can grow up in the same community that has been so tremendous to me. So it's crazy how things work.

08:09 I don't take myself seriously, clearly. I take what I do incredibly serious. My former boss said, "She may be able to write, but she's not a reporter. And she doesn't have that ‘it’ factor." It's just because I didn't love what I was reporting about. 

10:03 Maybe when you're starting out, you're trying so hard to be somebody that you're not because you’ve studied things and you think that you need to be a certain way and dress a certain way. When I talk to young sports broadcasters coming up, I just say, “Listen, you got to stay true to yourself, because if you don't, this business is cruel. And if you're true to yourself, then everything kind of just always falls in place." And I'm a testament to that.

12:13 Moving back home to Las Vegas, I found a school project from the seventh grade saying that I wanted to work for Channel 8, which is where I'm working now as a sports broadcaster.

I had reached the national level for entertainment and with sports, I started at ground zero.

I call my time in Philadelphia basically an 8-year boot camp where I learned everything, I saw everything, and now I'm back home to utilize that knowledge with the Raiders.

19:22 I chopped my hair because I was bleached blonde at the time. and long extensions, and tons of makeup. I wasn't being true to myself. And I knew that at my core, I am a reporter. And certainly the rules change from a red carpet to the sideline, but I knew that I could do it. And I've always wanted to do it. That's the athlete in me. But I can't tell you how many times I was told that I just didn't have "this" or "that" or I was lacking "this" or you want to put me in a box.

23:20 I got the call from Philly and they said, "Listen, you got two days. Get over there." And then I covered the 76ers for seven years.

26:21 All you need is one person to believe in you, one person to understand what this city, what our community, is really all about. And we got that, and we showed what we can do. You think the Raiders weren't watching how the city of Las Vegas rallied behind the Golden Knights and everything, and that it's the best story, not only in sports but in life period, that we've seen in modern day? And that's what sport is all about. It's about bringing people together, and what a privilege it is for me to cover the Raiders’ inaugural season here in my hometown. It's still surreal. I still pinch myself. 

33:46 I was gonna find a way to cover the Raiders in their inaugural season one way or the other. I don't take no for an answer when I know that I can get something done. And certainly in Las Vegas, I feel a great responsibility here because we are no longer an amateur sports town. We are no longer an entertainment city. We are no longer an events-only city. We are a professional sports town. And we are an NFL city. And that means something. 

36:48 Maybe there's something to chasing perfection, because you know what, sometimes, you might come pretty darn close.

38:03 I wanted substance. I was craving substance. I was craving more. I could do that job in my sleep. As grateful as I was for it, it got to the point where I could just go through the motions if I wanted to. Now that's not who I am. That's not in my blood. So that's when I kind of knew it was it was time to move on. And lo and behold, I was moved on, and therein is the beauty of it. There's a lot more in life that I want to accomplish. 

41:28 Stay true to yourself and fight for what you believe in. And don't let go of it. for me, it was just always important to walk into that locker room on day one and set a standard and to never let go. My daughter was my number one priority, and no one was going to get me off track of that. Like, I cannot be bothered, get out of my way, my daughter's my number one priority, and ever since continues to be my number one priority, and I will fight for her with anything. So I think just understanding your why, and understanding what matters most, and be prepared to fail. Gosh, you got to be prepared to fail. Because if you're not failing, then you know what? You're not learning.

Because this episode is publishing the week of Christmas, I figured I should do something festive.

Just kidding.

If you know me, you know I’m not a Christmas person at all. I wouldn’t say I’m a grinch, because I would never deny others their joy in the holiday. I’m not an outward humbug either. My grumpiness during the season is more internal. It starts with the first time I’m forced to hear Christmas music. Yeah. I’m guessing it doesn’t surprise you that I’m one of “those” people who does not get “into the Christmas spirit,” whatever that really is. Every time I walk into a store between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, I cringe and do my best to conjure up some superhuman noise blocking rays to my brain so I don’t have to hear it. But there’s no escaping it. It’s everywhere.

I think I was traumatized as a teenager when I worked at TCBY. During the holidays, we had to play Christmas music all day. The radio station played Mariah Carey at least once an hour, often twice. I worked 10-hour shifts. Hearing Mariah Carey Christmas songs 10-20 times a day is not good for anyone’s mental health. Although I know many of you love it and don’t agree, I stand by my view. Luckily I convinced the store owner to let me find my own Christmas music to play. I could handle the older albums from the Rat Pack, Elvis, and BB King. Some local Vegas artists had put out a compilation disc of rock-based covers. I made it work.

Because that’s what you have to do when you’re in a situation you don’t necessarily want to be in but can’t avoid. You make it work. It’s the same in business. Sometimes you’re stuck with a client or coworker you don’t particularly care for. Sometimes you might love most of a job, but there’s one element of it you could do without. It’s not worth turning it down, so you find a way to get over it and get it done anyway. As much as we’d like to have everything exactly as we like it all the time, it’s just not realistic.

Even as a business owner, you don’t get to control everything. If you don’t like a client, you can fire them, but you have to consider doing it in a tactful way, which is not in the middle of a project. Give them notice, fulfill your obligations, and THEN walk away. But you have to stay professional until it’s over. Well, I guess you don’t have to, but you should be prepared for the consequences if you don’t.

Sometimes you might love your client, but not another person on their team. You can’t do much about that either. You do your best to keep a positive working relationship with that person and do what you need to do. If you find that it’s impossible to do that, you can part ways. It’s a matter of deciding which you want more – to keep working with that client despite the annoying interactions, or if you need to let it go to save your sanity. If that client relationship is more important to you, you find a way to make it work with the other person. Try different communication styles or other ways to improve the working environment. Sometimes you have to do some work to make it work.

Other times you might land a project that’s right in your wheelhouse but includes one aspect you really don’t enjoy. What do you do? You have to consider if it’s worth doing that one thing or if you truly hate that one thing and know it’ll ruin the whole experience. If you can make it work, you might end up with a great client. Of course, then you might get stuck with a someone who always wants you to do something you hate. But once you’ve built that relationship, it’s easier to convince them that it’s best to let someone else handle that part.

This happened to me recently. I decided a while back that I wouldn’t take any location job. In production, that means finding locations for filming, scouting them to make sure there aren’t any potential issues, and getting all of the permits and other paperwork in order. I don’t mind that last part at all, but finding and scouting isn’t for me. I don’t enjoy driving around and trying to determine if a place has the right look and structure and all the other details that go into it. It’s something I’ve done, but it’s not my expertise. There are people who specifically do this and love it, so I prefer to let them do it.

For the last several months, however, I’ve been working on a show where locations are needed, and I’m the only local on the crew. It has been particularly challenging because of COVID. Places are closed or have limited staff, and many don’t want to deal with a film crew unless there’s a giant budget or they’re renting out the whole place for months. I’ve never heard or had to repeat “no” so many times, and I don’t like it. I always find a solution, but there are forces completely out of my control here and I’ve had to say “we don’t have that” or “no one will allow us to do that,” and that’s never what I want to say. I want people to keep coming to Vegas for their productions, but it’s not always as simple as they want it to be. Especially when it comes to shooting inside casinos, and this was pre-pandemic. It takes a lot of time and planning to get the right access, and even then, they don’t always approve.

I actually did convince them it would be better to hire a location manager, but unfortunately even that person wasn’t able to find what we needed. I suppose that made me feel a little better, that at least it wasn’t just me who couldn’t do it, but at the same time, I want them to have everything they want to make sure this season is a success. I know it’s out of my control, though, and I’m doing the best I can.

The point is, when this opportunity came my way, it seemed silly to turn it down based on one element of the job. Sure, it comes with some headaches, but it’s such a small part of it. Beyond that, I’ve gotten to spend half the year working with some great people. And I’ve added some pretty entertaining production stories to my arsenal, which is always a good thing. I haven’t loved the location part, and it definitely reminded me why I don’t take those specific jobs, but I’ve made it work. Because that’s what I have to do. Just like the other people on the show – they might not be getting everything they hoped for in Vegas, but they’re making it work.

Another way of making it work is what I talk about often – focusing on the positive. I suppose that’s the closest I can come to being festive. Yes, 2020 has been a weird year and we all know about the bad things that have been happening. But, there is always something good. Being trapped at home means I’m not exposed to that awful Christmas music all month. It means I haven’t had to drive much at all this year, which I appreciate because I don’t really like to drive. I only spent $47 on gas this entire year, and that was all before March. So that’s pretty cool. I’ve had lots of time to appreciate how cute and funny my cats are. There are so many little things to be grateful for every day. You just have to look for them. So when the things you don’t want to have to do come barreling into your life, find something good and make it work.

COVID may have canceled all of my hobbies – concerts, travel, and pilates. But it also gave me time to learn a lot of new things and figure out something else I love doing – this podcast. It took away all of the jobs I had lined up, but it gave me new ones that kept me busy while allowing me to stay home and be safe. All things considered, I can’t really complain. I made it work. Because that’s what I do, and I hope it’s what you do, too.

Happy Holidays! I can barely say that without cringing, but there it is!

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Why did I decide to do a podcast?

From a nagging feeling one night to more than a year co-hosting the Womanpreneur Podcast with my friend Melissa, I talk about my journey into the podcasting world and why I'm so dedicated to being consistent with it.

What do I recommend for someone who wants to start a podcast?

From being prepared to do the work and the importance of consistency to investing in the right equipment and choosing the best software for you, this is the advice I have for anyone interested in creating a podcast.

If you have any questions for me for the next Q&A episode, email info@aardvarkgirl.com or DM me on social @aardvarkgirl. I would love to hear from you.

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Connect with Fernando:

Stickman Sound

Instagram @stickmansound

Twitter @stickman_sound

Facebook @stickmansound

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00:23 How Fernando started his career in TV & Film audio. "I think the sound thing really just came from my music passion. I had planned on being a recording engineer, a music engineer. It just didn't pan out that way."

03:27 About mentoring others: "The people that helped me helped me by sharing what they knew. I have found over the course of my career that you get better at what you do when you can explain it in a way that somebody that doesn't think like you understands. Teaching has been a big part of who I am as a professional, selfishly so that I can understand what I'm doing even better."

04:52 On sharing opportunities with others: "I don't consider my peers to be competition, I just consider them to be my peers."

06:29 The great feeling that comes with turning down work that you don't connect with personally. "I actually wish that I had achieved this state of mind years ago, because I think I would have found happiness, like real happiness a lot sooner in my adult life as well. Today, my kids are older, and I feel a personal sense of responsibility to work on stuff that makes me prideful, so that I can invest myself into it a little bit more. And I also care about, you know, when my son asks me what I did today, I don't want to be embarrassed."

10:18 "If you're at the very beginning of your career, be frugal. The better you can be with your money, the more you can wait for those opportunities that you are really hoping for."

12:24 Adapting a business to the changing world & industry.

14:49 Using challenges from the pandemic to create a new remote recording system that allows people to get the same quality sound they need without having to have an engineer in the room.

18:11 "We all work in a service business. Our job is to serve the client, and every client is going to need to be served a little bit differently. So it's imperative upon us as being professionals to say, 'Okay, what is it that you need? Here are the skillsets that I have that can solve that problem or bring you whatever that outcome or solution you're looking for.' And that's how I approach every job. I think that's also why I'm so versatile and can bounce from one area of television to another."

20:36 Dedicating time to spend with family: "I know a lot of people have suffered with their relationships. I have not. We're closer today, I think, than when we met, which is amazing, because we've been together 21 years. And I'm closer with my kids. I know my kids, like what they're into and how they're doing. And it's not just a quick side conversation anymore. That's been great."

22:26 "I treat my engineering like a lot of people treat the gym. I get up in the morning and I'm doing gear exercises, and I'm always trying to learn new software."

25:03 "If you're a business owner, you need to be money smart."

There has been a big trend in the last few years with decluttering. Suddenly organization has become trendy, which is something I’m not mad about at all. Shows on Netflix like “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” and “The Home Edit” have inspired many people to look at all their stuff and find better ways to put it away or display it. With more people at home during the pandemic, we’ve heard a lot about garages, pantries, and closets getting cleared out, organized, and looking better than ever. I’ve never heard so many people excited about spring cleaning.

But what we don’t hear about is digital clutter. All those desktop icons, random files, and “miscellaneous” folders you plan on going through soon but never get around to. Trying to remember where you put a document because it’s not where you think it should be and you can’t remember the exact name to search. That nagging thought in the back of your mind that you really should back up your computer, but you never seem to think about it when you actually have time to do it.

Digital clutter can have the same negative effects as physical clutter, especially when you’re trying to get your work done. It can be distracting, slow down your productivity, and drain you of your energy. The problem is, once you close your laptop or turn off your computer, you don’t see it anymore. It doesn’t take up space the same way as too many clothes in a closet or a bunch of unlabeled bins in the garage, so it’s easier to ignore. But it can take up a lot of time if you can’t easily find the files you need throughout the day. I know I’ve mentioned how I feel about notifications and how just seeing that little red circle can irritate me. I’m the same way with a busy desktop on a computer. When I see someone working and there are folders and files all over, especially when they’re not even in alignment, all I can do is wonder how they function.

Some people will say they actually function better in chaos. That things might be messy, but they know where everything is within the mess. And I’m sure that can be true to some degree, but that’s more of a band aid than a solution. It’s like taking the giant pile of receipts and other documents and sticking them all inside of a drawer rather than filing them where they belong. Sure, then you don’t have to see the clutter, but somewhere inside you still know it’s there. And yes, I say this from experience. I used to do it all the time because, for whatever reason, I really don’t like filing. I don’t have to do it much, it’s not hard, it doesn’t even take very long. I just don’t like it. But, I also can’t handle stacks of papers and other things on my desk while I work. So I have to keep up with it, whether I like it or not. We all have our things.

The best way to digitally declutter is to put a system in place and follow it. Make it part of your workflow so it becomes a habit you don’t even have to think about anymore. The worst thing is to say, “I don’t have time to do that right now,” and put it off and then by the time you get around to it you have so many files it’s going to take you significantly longer to do. Remember my 5-minute rule – if it’s going to take less than 5 minutes, do it now. Naming a file or creating an email folder shouldn’t take more than a few seconds, and you’ll be glad you got it out of the way.

The trick is to figure out a process that works for your brain so it’s easy to follow and maintain. It has to make sense to you or you won’t keep up with it. The easiest and greatest system in the world for one person might be incredibly confusing to someone else. So keep that in mind, whether you’re listening to this, reading a blog about a similar topic, or actively searching online for the “best” solution. Getting ideas can be helpful to get started, but chances are no one else out there is going to do things in the exact way that’s perfect for you. And you don’t want to spend so much time searching that you don’t get anything accomplished. I’ve been there plenty of times and it’s not a good place to be!

That being said, I’ll take you through some of my digital organization systems to give you an idea of what I’m talking about. Starting with the most important part of my business, my clients. Without them, I don’t have any work, so that’s why they are priority.

I have a “Clients” folder that lives within my documents and is linked under my favorites so I can access it easily. Within that folder, everything is separated by year. That helps me keep track of specific jobs better. I don’t want one giant folder with everything I’ve ever done because that’s just more clutter! I’ll talk about archiving later, but I generally keep the current year plus the two previous years on my computer because, in my line of work, I do have to refer back to older jobs fairly often so it’s easier to keep those files accessible to be safe.

Within each year, each client has its own folder, which is labeled simply as the name of the company or person. Inside of that, each project gets its own folder, and everything related to it goes in there. Sometime that folder will get organized further, depending on what is needed. Like for a production, I’ll have folders for receipts, releases, permits, internal procedures, and those kinds of things. It all depends on what makes sense for each project.

Each file is named specifically as well. You won’t ever find IMG_3568.jpg or a series of jumbled letters and numbers for the name of a PDF I downloaded on my computer. As soon as I download something, I name it what it is. I have a system for this, too. I’m sure you’re not surprised. It’s usually something along the lines of CLIENT_Date_Description. As an example, a handout I created for a workshop I teach at the Voice Actors Studio is labeled TVAS_091020_BookkeepingBasics. One note here, I give each client a 3- or 4-letter code so I’m not ending up with ridiculously long filenames. Do you know why? Because that looks like more clutter to me.

Basically the idea is that everything says exactly what it is. In theory, anyone could intuitively understand how my system works. Meaning you might not have any idea what I do, but if I give you my laptop and ask you to find a FedEx receipt for a shipment related to job X in 2019, it wouldn’t take you very long because of the way it’s all organized. Consistency is important with everything, and this is no exception. If you structure everything the same way, you don’t even have to think about those little things anymore.

This naming convention also helps if I need to search for a file on my computer. That’s why I include the client or vendor code in the filename, too. In some cases, I’m working with the same file types for a lot of different companies. I’ll use W9s as an example, because I have a lot of those. Say I need to find a W9 for Person A and it’s not where I think it should be, but I know I have it. I can do a search for W9 and find it easily because the person’s name is right there. But if I labeled each one with just W9 because it’s in a folder that says that person’s name already, doing that search would present several files and I’d have to open each one to see if it’s the right one. Not efficient.

I use this exact same method for managing emails as well. I briefly mentioned this in the episode where I talked about how I accidentally deleted all of my inboxes. Fortunately, when that happened, this system is what saved me and made what could’ve been a complete disaster nothing more than a funny story. My inbox is my to-do list, and once something is done, it gets filed into a folder. It’s organized by year, by client, by project, and whatever specifics apply to that job. The only things I delete entirely are things I know for certain I will never need again, like a Zoom invitation or the 23 people responding “Thanks!” to a group email. Everything else gets filed in case I need to reference it again at some point in the future. This has been beyond helpful in many situations.

Digital organization is important beyond my client work as well. This podcast is a perfect example. I have a podcast folder and inside that, each episode has its own folder. Within that is another folder for the various assets, which are the audio & video recordings, images, graphics, my intro, and all that fun stuff. The only files I put into the main folder for each episode are the finished pieces – the MP3 file of the podcast, the video file (if there is one), the image graphic, and the transcript. I also have a master spreadsheet, color-coded of course, to help me keep track of each step of each episode. I have tabs on that sheet for planning, content, topic ideas, potential guests, and more. I like spreadsheets because I can keep everything in one file. Less clutter. It’s a pattern, see?

Decluttering isn’t just about getting a clean desktop or being able to search for files, though. It’s also about record-keeping and taking care of your business. When you’re organized, you don’t waste time looking for things or trying to figure out what happened 3 years ago when a client has a question. You might think you don’t need to know anything that far back, and that might be true most of the time, but I’ve been called some names by my clients. Magical. Superhero. Things like that. I’ve been able to find details that seem impossible solely because of my process.

I’ve mentioned that I was a project manager for the 2016 Presidential Debate in Las Vegas. I worked on that event for 9 months. It involved a lot of people and a lot of details. It was changing constantly. I was in charge of the budget and had to show the numbers in so many different ways - detailed, simplified, a pie chart, categorizing information in multiple ways, and how it evolved from one version to the next. There is no way I could remember all of that stuff years later. But, in 2019, that client was trying to find out a specific piece of information – on what date the debate had decided to eliminate the option of a third party candidate. They had been trying to figure it out internally without much success, so they called me. It only took me a few minutes – I got the hard drive, plugged it in, opened my client folder, and because of how my files were organized, I was able to pinpoint it to a period of 4 days that the decision was made. Not magic. Just organization.

I also have a system for my invoices and payments beyond my actual accounting software. Yes, everything lives in Quickbooks. But what if something happens to Quickbooks? You can never be too cautious with your business. So I keep digital copies of client invoices and payments. If I receive a check, I scan it and add it to the invoice PDF so there’s an easy reference of what it was and how it was paid. I have PDFs of every expense receipt, whether it was emailed, downloaded, or a scanned paper receipt, all labeled by date, vendor & purpose. I rarely need those files, but it’s a matter of having a backup for those “just in case” moments.

Speaking of backups. That’s an important part of digital decluttering as well. It’s not just about having important files in multiple places in case a hard drive dies, although that’s pretty important. If you’ve ever had a hard drive quit on you, I’m sure you know how devastating it can be if you can’t recover something. Sometimes they can be repaired, but it can be costly and there’s never a guarantee. So having copies somewhere is good for peace of mind.

Here’s what my backup system entails. My devices are all set to automatically back up. My phone & tablet go to the cloud and my computers use Time Machine so everything is backed up to an external hard drive every hour without me having to do anything. Beyond that, I save important files to separate external hard drives every month. And I use another cloud service for additional storage of certain things. Is it redundant? Yes. Do I care? No. I would rather be overly cautious than not cautious enough.

These extra drives aren’t just for backups, though. They’re also for archiving files I no longer want to keep on my computer at all. Just like you probably function better when you have clean space around you, so do your machines. If you are using most of your storage, they have to work harder and it can slow down everything you do. So it’s helpful to get stuff off of there if you can. Like I said earlier, I usually keep the current year plus the previous 2 years’ files on my computer. Older years have been archived onto external hard drives so I still have everything, but it isn’t slowing down anything I’m doing currently. The biggest files I’m working with are related to this podcast, so each month I archive the episodes that have been published. It’s part of my routine that helps me stay uncluttered.

I got a new iMac earlier this year. The one I had was about 9 years old and not very robust. It had been fine for what I was doing, but it became clear that because I’m working with more video & audio files, I needed an upgrade. Typically, when I get a new computer, I copy everything from one to the other. But I realized I’ve been doing this for so long, there’s a good chance there was plenty of stuff on there I didn’t actually need, and I didn’t want to bring that onto the new one, so I started from scratch. My brother gave me some good advice about only storing documents and small files on the computer’s main hard drive and keeping the larger files on external hard drives. Back in the day, that could get pretty clunky, but hard drives are so tiny and cute now, it’s easy to have some 2TB SSD drives connected for all that stuff. So between the new, more powerful, less cluttered computer, & my upgraded Internet, I’m so much more efficient than I was when I started. A video that used to take me an hour to upload now goes up in minutes. So there’s something to be said about making an investment in new equipment. Sometimes we hold off because we don’t want to spend the money, but we don’t realize how much time it’s costing us. Something to think about.

Digital decluttering might not be the most exciting topic. I get it. But maybe we can find the same joy in tidying up our machines as we do organizing a pantry. I apply the ideas I’ve talked about here to every document, spreadsheet, photo, and anything else that lives digitally on my machines. It helps me stay focused on what I need to do without wasting time figuring out where things are. I have been told I’m too organized. And I’m okay with that. I love having a place for everything. I love a good color-coded spreadsheet. This is what works for me and keeps my brain happy. Find what works for you and get rid of that digital clutter. You might not be able to show it off in a pretty picture, but you’ll still feel good inside.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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I’m guessing we’ve all been in this scenario. You send an email to a client with some questions. He responds, but doesn’t answer everything, so you have to follow up with a reminder about the other missing information. Or you send an email giving someone two choices – would you rather do A or B? And she responds, “Yes.” So you have to reply asking which option she’s saying yes to. How about when you put all the details for a project into an email. You take the time to make it clean and organized so someone can reference it for everything they need. And then you get a text that says what time is this thing? And it’s the first thing on the list you sent. Eventually you end up wondering why you even bother spending your time crafting thoughtful emails when they’re just going to get ignored anyway.

I don’t know about you, but I find this incredibly frustrating. Most of the time, waiting for these answers slows everything down and you know that if they would’ve just answered in the first email, you could’ve both moved on and saved time. And we all know how important time is. But the extra back and forth actually creates more work for both of you. I don’t know anyone who wants more emails in their inbox. Most of us are trying to get rid of them.

Now, I’m not talking about when someone asks, “How are you?” or some other small talk question that doesn’t necessarily need to be answered. I’ve mentioned how I feel about that before, and if it’s in an email I’m not going to answer it unless it’s somehow relevant to the job. I also don’t mean when someone writes a novel and you genuinely don’t have time to read through everything. But even then, rather than giving a half-hearted response that makes it obvious you didn’t read it all, I think the right thing to do is to say something like, “There’s a lot of information here and I don’t have time to give it my proper attention today, but I will get back to you when I’m able. If there is anything pressing, please send the specifics to me separately.” That way you’re acknowledging that you’ve seen the message and managing their expectations about when they’ll hear back from you. It’s also a less offensive way of saying, “Hey, this email is way too long.”

I just did that today. I got an email from someone who wants to be a guest on the podcast and he sent me a ton of links to his bio, his podcast, interviews he’s done on other podcasts, and more. I don’t have time to research him yet so I sent a quick note saying, “I’m in the middle of a project so I might not be able to get back to you for a few weeks, but wanted to let you know I received it. Thank you for reaching out.” That took less than a minute to write and it accomplished two things – it showed that I respect the time he took to send me his pitch, and it spared me from receiving more follow-up messages asking if I had received his email or if I had any questions. And that was someone I don’t even know. But that’s how I treat everyone, whether it’s a client, a vendor, a friend… everyone gets the same level of respect because that’s important to me.

The details are there for a reason. If we’re asking, it’s likely because we need the answer to do our jobs properly. Most of us don’t waste our time putting frivolous questions in our clients’ inboxes. And if you do, stop. That’s not okay, unless it’s a humorous meme of some sort or something that will make someone laugh. Everyone needs that every now and then. But if you get an email, remember that someone took the time to write it for a specific purpose. So pay attention! You might have a deadline looming and you don’t want any distractions. You could be juggling a hundred different things and don’t realize that you’re not focusing on anything. But rushing through an answer and missing the important parts of a message isn’t good for anyone, yourself included. If you think you’re soooo busy and only have time to scan it, remember that if you miss something, you’re going to end up with another email to read. So take the time up front, read it carefully, and make it easier for everyone. Especially if the other person is trying to help you and your business succeed. Get out of your own way!

This is one of my tough love assertions that people sometimes don’t want to hear. And here’s my disclaimer: I know this isn’t always the case. I think it’s rarely the intention. But have you considered what message you’re sending when you don’t pay attention to the details someone took the time to send you? You’re basically saying that your time is more important than theirs. Now, before you get defensive, think about it. You’re not respecting the time they took on their end by giving the time on yours. You might not think about it in that way, but they might receive it that way. It’s important to remember that your time isn’t more important than anyone else’s, regardless of whether you’re paying them, they’re paying you, or any other reason.

We can consider this as it applies to working with clients, vendors, team members, and anyone else you are communicating with.

If you’re the client, you’ve hired someone to do a job for you. That person most likely needs information from you to do what she needs do. So she’s going to ask you questions, and your answers are what allow her to move forward and deliver what you need. So if you only give her bits and pieces, you’re holding up HER progress to meet YOUR deadline. And let’s not forget, she probably has other clients, too. And even though you want to feel like you’re the most important, imagine what it’s like when everyone is missing details and creating extra work for her. It’s no surprise freelancers have to deal with burnout all the time.

If you’re the vendor, your client has hired you to do a job for him. He is going to send you the information you need so you can do what you need to do. If you then ask a question, when the answer is in the initial email, it’s going to be frustrating for him because now he has to repeat himself. He might think that he’s paying you to make his life easier, not to create more work for him because you aren’t paying attention. There’s a reason that “attention to detail” is something a lot of people like to list on their résumés. It’s an important skill in business. Let’s not forget to use it!

If you’re on a team or otherwise collaborating with others, the same concepts apply. One person missing a detail can interfere with everyone else’s progress. You never want to be the one in the group slowing everyone down.

Look, nobody is perfect. We’ve all missed things in emails because we’re trying to get through them quickly so we can move on to one of the other many things we have to do in that moment. I know I’ve done it before, and I always feel badly when it happens. The idea is not to achieve perfection, but to be cognizant of how our actions affect others and their ability to do their work. And sometimes our own inattention to detail can delay things for us, too.

This reminds me of a discussion a bunch of us had last year about voicemail and how some people don’t use it anymore. I get that technology has changed the way we communicate and the younger generation especially finds voicemail to be tedious. They prefer texting or apps. And that’s fine – to some degree, we all need to be able to adapt or we’ll get left behind. I don’t particularly love voicemail either, but it serves its purpose. I don’t answer my phone if I don’t recognize a number, so leaving a message is the best way to let me know you’re a real person and not a spam call or wrong number. And it lets me know why you’re calling, so I can get back to you with the answers. And then I know if something is urgent or if it can wait until later. So if you took the time to leave me a voicemail, I will listen to it.

In this conversation, the argument against voicemail was that it was an outdated method of communication and people should just text. But then some people weighed in that they don’t like getting texts from people they don’t know, or for work-related things. Like with everything, we all have our own preferences so it’s not to say that one is right or wrong, just different. But I remember a client saying that if he takes the time to leave details in a voicemail, and then the person calls back without having listened to the message, he gets really irritated because now he has to repeat everything he already said in the voicemail. So he feels that his time isn’t being respected and that’s a red flag for him wanting to continue working with that person. That might seem like a bit of an overreaction, but I kind of get it. I think the solution there is pretty simple – if you are the type who won’t listen to voicemails, disable your phone from accepting them. Then you won’t have to deal with them and no one can get frustrated about you ignoring them. Simple.

With one caveat. At the same time as this discussion was taking place, I was hiring a fairly large crew for a production job in another state. Since it was in a location where I didn’t know anyone personally, I was having to essentially cold call people from the local film directory. It was pretty time sensitive and one of those situations where whoever was available first would get each position. The number of people I called who didn’t have voicemail, or had voicemails that were full, was surprising to me. I had no way to leave a message. I didn’t have an email address. And I didn’t feel texting was appropriate at the time. So a lot of people lost out on the opportunity to work a cool job at a good rate because they “don’t do” voicemail. So it’s something to consider from a business perspective if you want to be stubborn about your preferences or be a little more flexible.

Communication is so important in everything we do. We hear it all the time. It’s a necessary skill in business but also in life in general. The majority of the work we are all doing involves people and we have to be able to communicate with those people effectively.

I like to consider myself to be a conscientious communicator. I’m a big fan of brevity in business emails. I can be wordy because I like to offer explanations, so I often start with something that’s way too long. I get my thoughts out first, but then I edit before I send. I consider my client and what details they actually need, and I get rid of everything else. There’s a time and place for chit-chat, and business emails usually are not part of that. Sometimes there’s no way around a longer email because something requires a lot of detail. But usually I will send it all and include a note at the bottom that if it’s easier to chat through everything on the phone, feel free to call. I find that the email is helpful because it gives everyone a chance to review everything before speaking instead of throwing a bunch of stuff at someone when they’re not prepared. Plus, then it’s there to reference later, which is something that is often needed.

But when your style is different than someone else’s, what is the best solution? Communicate about communication! Seriously. When I’m working with someone new, I ask them if they prefer email, text, or phone. That doesn’t mean I’m always going to accommodate their preferences if they contradict my own, but it’s helpful to know that ahead of time and to make concessions when it’s important.

For example, if you prefer email and hate the phone, but your client hates email and prefers the phone, chances are you’re going to get annoyed waiting for responses if you email them. But if you just called, you could get the information you need and you’ll both be happy because you can move on. You can always follow up with an email confirming the details you discussed so you have record of it – I recommend doing this because it’s too easy for information to get lost on calls and via text.

I’ve also had conversations with clients about email etiquette. There are a lot of people out there who want emails to sound personal and friendly and so they fill them with long greetings and, for lack of better words, fluff before getting to the point. I won’t do that. I’m busy, my clients are busy, so I get right down to business. But every now and then I find myself explaining to someone that I’m not doing it to be cold or unfriendly, but to be mindful of everyone’s time. I save the friendly chats for later. I find that most people I’m working with appreciate that.

I also have one client who has flat out told me she can only deal with 3 things in an email. If it’s more than that, she’s not going to read it for a while. And that’s really helpful to know because if there are a lot of things pressing, I can prioritize the top 3 and send those first. Because we’ve had that communication, it eliminates the frustration that could come about otherwise.

In general, if you do have to include a lot of details in an email, make it simple for the other person to read. Use bullet points, spacing, bold font, underlines, whatever you can do to make it easier to digest, comprehend, and respond. Sometimes people see a lot of words in a big block and they instantly check out, so do what you can to avoid that. I can’t even tell you how many of my clients have commented on how helpful little things like bullet points have been in our communications.

Remember, the details are there for a reason. Slow down, pay attention, and help make sure everyone has the information they need to do a great job.

00:38 How Claire went from a degree in nuclear medicine to a career in photography

05:31 Shifting from "just a photographer" or "just a freelancer" to the mindset of a business owner

08:21 Staying relevant when cell phones make everyone feel like they're a pro photographer 

11:12 Enjoying the moment instead of staring through a screen all the time

13:26 Using Southern charm to make people feel at ease

16:23 Engaging a crowd

21:12 Claire's favorite types of photography

27:08 Using vacations to expand a client base, but also remembering to put the camera away so she can look through her own eyes

30:43 Adapting to shoots during COVID, and using down time during the pandemic to work on personal projects 

36:01 Claire's advice for other self-employed creatives

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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Connect with Claire

https://www.clairehartphotography.com/

@clairehartphotography

But budget doesn’t have to be a bad word.

00:54 The real reason for having a budget is so you know where your money is going and can use that information to make a game plan of what you can and should do.

01:17 When you own your business, you generally don’t know exactly how much you’ll make at any given time, so you have to do reverse budgeting.

01:59 The first step is to figure out what your minimum number (break-even) number is. Personal and business accounting software will make this easier.

03:16 It's best to have a full year’s worth of information to form a proper budget because of the monthly fluctuation. Knowing those cycles can really help.

04:33 Start with your regular expenses - your mortgage or rent, car payment or any other debts, utilities, cable, Internet, monthly subscriptions, groceries, dining out, coffee trips, entertainment, clothing, household expenses, and all that other fun stuff. What is your realistic minimum you can spend each month for the necessities?

05:29 Saving is a necessity! Your budget should include money put aside for taxes, emergencies, and retirement. I always recommend saving a percentage of your income versus a flat amount each month. This helps with that fluctuation, because you’re putting more aside when you’re busy and that will help cover you when you’re slow.

07:23 From there, you can start figuring out your tiers. So after the necessities are covered, where would you spend your money next? Pay off more of your debt and start peppering in some of those fun things you want to get or do, but don't necessarily need.

07:50 If you're not bringing in enough money, you have two options - find ways to make more, or find ways to spend less.

08:15 Consider compromises with yourself, or practice deferred gratification - giving up something now for something much better in the future.

08:49 There are so many possibilities out there. But it starts with knowing what you have, what you need, and why it matters. Budgeting is not a bad word. It’s a starting point to help you understand what you have to do to get the things you want. And when you get the things you want, you’ll wonder why the idea of organizing your money ever seemed so cringeworthy.

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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

I think those are all important habits. Arrogance is a turnoff for most people. But we need to be confident, especially when we’re running a business. Where is that line? When is it okay to talk about yourself and when does it mean you’re being cocky if you do? With the current climate of social media and personal branding, self-promotion has become necessary. But how do you promote yourself without sounding like you’re bragging?

It used to be that talking about yourself like, “Hey, look at me! Look at me!” people would think hmmm… you’re full of yourself. Now, if you don’t post about what you’re doing, it’s a missed marketing opportunity. It’s all a little too much.

What do you do when something great happens and you want to share your excitement? How do you do it in a polite, humble, non-braggy way? Especially when you don’t want to resort to a passive aggressive “humble brag,” which is when you’re basically trying to draw attention to something you’re proud of by pretending to be self-deprecating about it. We see right through that.

You don’t want to hint around and hope someone will ask you. At least I don’t – one of my pet peeves is when people hint at something instead of being direct about whatever it is they want to say. It bugs me so much that if I pick up on someone trying to get me to ask about something, I intentionally won’t. Just tell me what you want to tell me! I also don’t like the guessing game, so you know. “You’ll never guess what happened!” Nope. I won’t. Just tell me!

But, my personal nuances aside, why is it so difficult to come out and say that you’re proud about something you’ve done? If you’ve accomplished a goal, landed a big client, been asked to participate in a cool project, or whatever it might be, don’t you want people to share in that happiness with you? Especially these days, when it’s been pretty bleak for so many, isn’t that the kind of thing we all want to hear? Don’t we want our friends and family and colleagues to be excited about what they’re doing?

We should be able to celebrate our successes. Now more than ever, we need to take the wins where we can get them, and be proud of what we’ve achieved despite the craziness going on in the world. But I’ve heard a lot lately from people who feel they should apologize for doing well. “Hey, I did this great thing, but I’m not sure it’s in good taste to talk about it when so many other people are struggling.” Or, “I really want to share this, but I don’t want it to seem like I’m rubbing my good fortune in everyone’s face.” And, the worst, in my opinion, “I can’t talk to my friends about this because they’ll be jealous.” Don’t be friends with someone who doesn’t want you to do well. Ever. That’s not what a friend does.

There are so many reasons why people try to diminish their accomplishments. They shy away from acknowledging how incredible it is that they achieved a goal, because it’s “not the polite thing to do.” Or because they’re worried about how someone else might react. Or because they’re afraid that saying it out loud will jinx them somehow. But I don’t think it’s fair to you to keep it inside. So just like we’ve been encouraging everyone to open up lately – to be vulnerable about what they’re feeling when it comes to struggles and hardships – shouldn’t we also encourage everyone to share what’s going right in their lives?

Your success is not my failure. Just like my success is not your failure. There is room for all of us to succeed. And if someone else is having trouble, our success stories might actually be encouraging. Your accomplishment might be a huge inspiration to someone who needs it. Sharing something positive might motivate someone else to get out of a funk and move forward. Someone who is having a hard time might find hope in your story. Give yourself the opportunity to be that good example.

There is so much bad news in the world right now and we need to offset that with everything we can that’s good. Instead of sharing complaints, why don’t we share more compliments? Instead of targeting potential clients with questions like, “Why are you struggling?” and “What’s holding you back?” why not ask “Why are you thriving?” and “What’s propelling you forward?”  I know we all want to solve their problems, but we can do that without being condescending. How about we stop assuming everyone is failing and starting talk about our wins, no matter how small they might seem. Let’s encourage everyone to share all the goodness! That’s what we all really need.

And when someone does share something they’re excited about, be excited for them. Don’t dismiss them or put them down or say their idea is dumb. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s ridiculous. Some of the best ideas are ridiculous in the beginning. Remember that people can be fragile, especially when it comes to sharing a new business idea or passion project. Your quick negative reaction, even if you don’t intend it to be harmful, might shatter their confidence and shut them down completely. If they ask for your opinion, be honest, but be polite. There’s that word again.

While we’re talking about celebrating successes, remember to also acknowledge the people who helped you get to where you are. It’s that whole saying of give credit where credit is due. Let them celebrate with you. That little shout out might mean a whole lot to them, especially when so many feel unappreciated.

Or if you did it all on your own, don’t be afraid to say I DID THIS! It’s a great feeling when you make things happen for yourself. And sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. You can’t expect people to ask you about it, or to even realize that it’s a big deal to you. We’ve become a quick-scroll, low attention span society where it seems like we’re always connected, but we’re actually missing quite a bit. So don’t assume others will figure it out. Tell them. Share your wins. Celebrate your successes. You deserve it.

And I mean that quite literally. I’d love it if you’d send me a quick email to info@aardvarkgirl.com or DM me @aardvarkgirl to let me know something good that’s happening in your life – big or small. I’ll celebrate your success with you!

--

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

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Connect with John

Website: Dog & Pony Studios

Instagram: @dnpsound

Facebook: DogAndPonyStudios

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00:51 "As an entrepreneur, I've had the bottom of the trough as well as the top of the trough. And you have to learn that it's going to be okay, no matter what."

02:10 "My expectation is not the audience's expectation."

03:04 "We cross a threshold where we're not making it any better. We're just trying to satisfy our need for perfection."

05:27 "I kind of suffer from shiny object syndrome."

07:29 "All the kids have grown up with these very simple rules, but we also apply those rules in the rest of our life. Don't be a d, and have fun. Because you only get one time around on the big blue marble, so go out there and enjoy it.

08:47 "Just like with the team, find clients you like working with, too."

10:35 "I don't need to be rich. I just need to be comfortable."

12:47 "No is by far the most powerful word that we need to learn in order to take control of our own lives."

15:53 "I don't think you become a proper businessperson without being a proper person in general."

17:10 "Learn your tools."

20:25 "We actually tend to jump around between a handful of different digital audio workstations, just depending on what is required for the job, as opposed to trying to take one tool and cram our work into somebody else's idea of how you're supposed to do sound."

22:57 "Spend a little more money up front because that gear lasts longer, so ultimately you end up spending less."

26:19 "I'm getting better at knowing what I like, and what suits me."

27:32 "I don't want to put something on social media unless it's something I find really interesting, something fascinating."

29:32 "The biggest thing that I miss is when everybody's at the studio and everybody's working on a project. That energy is palpable."

32:54 "I had a new employee contract I was supposed to sign, and I just ignored it and figured let's see what happens."

34:01 "Bad things happen. Turn it into something good."

34:42 Cooking paella

37:08 "Make sure you're having fun. Because if you're not having fun, why'd you start a business?"

--

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Watching this, it’s easy to wonder how anyone can possibly get into this situation and not know that something isn’t right. I always do my best to understand other points of view. I try to put my own judgment aside in attempt to find an explanation that makes sense. That’s not an easy thing to do. We all place some level of judgment on everything – it’s part of having a human brain. In this particular situation, however, it’s hard for me to see how they got so far into it before they realized that what was happening was wrong. That’s not to say I blame these people – I wasn’t in that situation, so I can’t criticize their choices.

This happens all the time, though. Usually it doesn’t get to cult status, fortunately, but people do tend to get caught up in these fads of self-improvement while searching for ways to change their lives and businesses for the better. They look to others for inspiration, motivation, and some magical advice that will help them reach their goals. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with looking for input – if someone else is able to give you a different perspective that helps you move forward, that’s fantastic. Where it gets dangerous is when you take everything someone says as certainty without questioning if it really makes sense or if it’s really the right way for you.

The inherent problem with some of these self-help books and groups and courses, in my opinion, is that they enable people to look outward to find what’s right for them. It’s normal to want others to guide us - to tell us how we should run our businesses, how we should make decisions, and what we should do to get ahead. But, while all of these people can give us ideas, no one else can tell us what’s right for us, especially when their content is generalized. If you’re working one on one with someone who is taking the time to learn about you and your business workflow, that’s different because they are, hopefully, tailoring their advice to you. But keep in mind that being an expert in your field doesn’t mean you have a one-size-fits-all process for what you do. We all have to inject our own needs, personality, thought process, and so much more into crafting our success. The best answers are found by looking inward because you know yourself better than anyone else can.

So instead of looking up to others, why not be your own hero?

Looking for external validation can be dangerous because, in most cases, people are trying to fit you into their box. They’re teaching you from their point of view and what they’ve experienced. It makes sense, but the specifics of their situation might not be applicable to you. It’s also easy to get caught up in the images we see, which aren’t always reality. You can look at someone’s website and social and think, wow, they have it all figured out. But we don’t see what’s going on behind the scenes. It’s best not to make assumptions, whether they’re for the best or worst (or somewhere in between). Even if you do your research, you never really know. Think about how many of these well-known people have been outed for acting in a way that goes against everything they teach, and then all of their readers, listeners, or viewers feel betrayed because they believed in what they were selling. No one is perfect and no one has all the answers. Be leery of anyone who is pretending they do, or promising their system is guaranteed to make you six figures or any other outlandish claim. If you dig into the fine print, you’ll usually find something along the lines of “results shown are not typical.” We can’t expect anyone to be perfect or exemplary of success all of the time. But we should be able to trust ourselves to do what’s right for us.

My podcast here is a perfect example. I’m sharing with you what has worked for me. And I hope that it helps you in some way. But I know that not everything I suggest will work for you, because we’re not the same person. If you’re still here at this point, you must resonate with what I say to some degree, and that makes me happy. But I also want you to be honest with yourself and if you implement any of my tips, make sure they are in alignment with who you are and what you need. That’s why I find myself repeating sentiments like “find the system that works for you” or “it has to make sense for your brain.” I don’t want to be repetitive, but I think it’s so important to include that kind of disclaimer for transparency. I’m not in the business of giving anyone false hope and I encourage everyone to think for themselves.

I’m not trying to be a guru or pretend to be someone with all the answers. I just want to help by sharing what has led me to this point, where I’m happily running my own successful business and enjoying my freedom. Basically, I want to be the mentor I never had. I’ve had to figure everything out for myself. I’ll always be grateful for that, because that’s how I got here in the first place. But a big part of why I decided to start coaching and to do this podcast is because I want to help people bypass some of that trial and error period and avoid some of the headaches. There will always be some of that, especially if you’re pushing yourself to try new things and expand in new ways – which I hope you are. But I know how much I’ve learned from running other people’s businesses for so long, and now my own for the last several years, and I believe that a lot of the ideas I talk about can at least help lay the foundation for you to build upon throughout your own journey.

When people ask me who I look up to, I don’t really have an answer. I can’t name a book that’s changed my life. There isn’t an entrepreneur who has inspired me to change how I run my business. I haven’t listened to an interview that motivated me to do something completely new. Honestly, when I’m looking for content, I look for entertainment or education about anything that isn’t business. Because my work takes up most of my life already and it’s just not how I want to spend my free time. That doesn’t mean I don’t hear stories about other people’s accomplishments and think, wow, that’s great. I wonder how they did that. Or man, it’s really cool they were able to do that. But I focus more on myself and don’t get too caught up in what other people are doing.

I don’t mean that to sound selfish. I just mean that I’m not comparing myself to others. Of course I care about other people and do my best to acknowledge and support everyone I know in whatever way they need. But, while I have great people in my circle, they aren’t the ones pushing me every day to keep growing my business. I am. They aren’t there to tell me if what I’m doing is the right move or not. I have to figure that on my own. And they can offer advice, but they can’t have the same investment as I do – they aren’t the ones who have to deal with the repercussions if I make a bad decision. So I have to be able to rely on myself. I’m not trying to be anyone’s hero but my own. I have to live with myself and the choices I make. What better motivation is there than that?

So where do you start if you’re not looking to others for inspiration? Start by figuring out who inspires you and why. What are the common traits and values of the people you respect? Do you hold those same values? What are they doing that you want to do? And if you aren’t doing it, what is stopping you? Are you clear about your goals and doing the work to achieve them? Are you living your life in a way that makes you proud? Can you take some of the time you’re spending reading, watching, or listening to these people you admire and spend it on the things you need to do to move ahead? Are you the type of person you look up to?

You don’t always need to find examples of what a successful person does. Sometimes you can be the example. Find validation in yourself. Trust your instincts and run your business in the way that makes sense to you. Prove to yourself that you are a success.

Be your own hero, because your opinion of yourself is the only one that really matters in the long run.

--

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

I’m pretty organized with my email. My inbox is my to-do list. Everything that’s been addressed gets filed into an appropriate folder, because you never know when you’ll need to reference something again, sometimes years later. I only delete things that would never have another use (like all of those “thanks” replies from everyone in a group email). It’s always a goal to have an empty inbox, or to at least be able to see some white space at the bottom of the list.

The inbox in my personal email tends to be the most cluttered. This is for all those things people send me that I mean to get to, but don’t always have time. All the articles I want to read, recipes I want to make, songs I need to hear, or videos I need to watch. I probably have stuff in there that’s at least a couple years old. I plan on getting around to it. I really do.

Last week, I finally had a bit of a break between jobs and thought about going through that inbox to clear it out. To do the things or delete them. I started, and then, of course, some work came up and I didn’t get back to it. I had every intention to do it, but that’s just how it goes sometimes. Can you sense the foreshadowing here?

When I’m managing multiple projects, the “All Inboxes” folder in Outlook is helpful – it lets me see anything new that comes in so I can keep that open on my laptop while I’m doing actual work on my iMac. It’s part of my system. For one of the projects I’m working on, we use a site called frame.io – it’s lovely if you’re working with videos and want the client or your other team members to be able to see the current version for review and make comments at the exact timecode where it’s needed. It also emails notifications so you know when someone has responded or has a new question or note, so you don’t have to remember to log in to the site. It’s pretty handy.

But, on the first round of a video, especially a longer one, there can be a lot of comments, which means a lot of emails. Fortunately, those automatically get sorted into my “other” tab so they’re not in the primary section. But I do like to go through and delete those when I’m done. I dislike digital clutter as much as physical clutter.

So yesterday, we’d sent out the first version of a video and all the feedback had come in. I did what I normally do and hit command+A to select all, followed by delete. As I saw the little progress bar pop up, I realized something wasn’t right. Yep. I was still in the “All Accounts” folder, so I deleted all of the emails in every single inbox I have. There is no “undo” option for that mistake, in case you were wondering. I could go into the “Deleted Items” folder and move messages back into the inbox, so they’re not completely lost, but there is no identifying which emails had been there.

Fortunately, it was simple to retrieve the emails I needed for my client addresses – those are always up to date and almost everything gets filed, so there’s very little in the deleted folder. But my personal email? With everything I’ve saved for the last however many months to get to later? There’s no way I can remember or figure out everything that was living there waiting for me.

My initial reaction was to laugh. What else can you do in a situation like that? I had been meaning to clean out my inbox, so I guess I took care of that. Realistically, if something was in my inbox for that long, it probably wasn’t anything too important anyway. I think that was my unintentional way of starting over. Now I have all that white space I wanted and suddenly everything feels more manageable.

Sometimes things have a way of working out exactly how they’re meant to. It’s not always in our control. Sometimes it’s because of a mistake we made. Sometimes it’s because of something someone else did. And sometimes there isn’t an explanation at all. But putting things off, or doing nothing, just compounds everything and makes it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

I know a lot of us are feeling the weight of everything going on, and little things that used to be simple suddenly seem like too much to manage. I’ve been talking to a lot of clients and friends who feel the same way. I know I seem to have forgotten how to read a calendar. I never seem to know what day it is and I keep mixing up dates for one reason or another. Then when I point it out, I’m usually met with a response that says, “Same” or “Me too.” If this sounds like you, first give yourself a break. Then, try to figure out some small steps you can take to get more organized, so you don’t feel like you’re falling behind. Utilize your calendar, email tools, or other apps. Schedule everything with alerts and reminders, even things you think you’ll remember. I have a weekly reminder in my phone to take out the trash. You’d think that would be an easy one to remember, but they changed my trash day and I kept forgetting until I heard the trucks outside and it was too late. And if you can’t get to something when the alarm goes off, set a new one so you don’t forget to do it later. Get those to-do items done so they’re not constantly looming over you.

I’m not suggesting to delete everything, but if there’s a way you can declutter your life, your business, your computer, your brain, or whatever feels too messy, make the time to do it. You might be surprised how much all of those little things are weighing you down.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Connect with Beth on social:

Facebook: Personal profile 

Facebook: Music page

Twitter: @bethlano

01:24 "I have a lot of interests. But I also realized that, in order to have a decent amount of income as a musician, especially as a freelancer, you need to wear a lot of hats. So why not explore those things that you want to explore? Why not use the talents that you have, and earn money for doing them, and enjoy them at the same time?"

03:53 "If someone suddenly loses their sight, the other senses takeover. Having a lot of irons in the fire is the same way. The other irons are taking over and help us get through a situation like this. I'm really grateful that there are other things that I can do besides playing music."

05:35 "Where my attention is focused has been in teaching. I've had students who have shown improvement beyond what I thought they would show, because I think psychologically they depend on these lessons as feeling that they can actually express themselves, which does my heart good, too."

10:13 "I think it's important for everyone to remain nimble, and flexible, and adaptable. This is survival now. No one knows what the future is going to bring. Going back to normal may not ever happen. So what we have to do is face the fact that with so much uncertainty, we can only take a day at a time and make it the best we can."

12:20 "I really hope that people can learn to adapt. When technology goes bad, you can't get ticked off about it. You have to just roll with it. And that's kind of where we're at right now with everything. We have to learn how to roll with everything. I understand frustration levels and everything, but this is just a fresh set of challenges. So be patient with it and work through it."

17:37 "I've gotten rid of nearly half of my stuff, either throwing it away or bagging it up and getting it ready to donate. And realized in doing that, that's a real metaphor for how I want to be in every aspect of my life, but especially in in business. Moving forward, I want to be agile. I want to be able to go in whatever direction that I need to go in, in order to contribute to the world but also to contribute to my own well-being, my own evolving."

18:57 "Regardless of which of my hats I'm wearing, I have spiral notebooks, and I'm taking notes on everything." 

21:48 "One thing that I've always done is, I put everything in my phone. I put everything in my calendar. I think all of this prioritization, and note taking, and reinforcing ideas that you have, is really critical to us as we go forward in this digital age. We can't space out on things. People depend on us too much."

24:29 "It's really important to stay focused as much as you can. Let yourself go every once in a while, and dive into a movie or a TV show and decompress, but when you're on guard, be focused. Be focused - not fearful, but focused."

28:06 "When I see questions on job applications and stuff, 'Where do you see yourself in five years?' I just look at that and I go, oh, that's adorable. Because that probably was a great question to have, maybe 20 years ago, but it's so outdated now. The honest answer is, I don't know."

28:52 "With the unknown, you can choose to be afraid about what's unknown, or you can choose to embrace what the possibilities are. And I think it's great to reflect on the past, but you can't live there. And if you cling too hard to what has happened, and the way things used to be, and all of that stuff you are… you're condemned to be stuck there. And I truly believe that my favorite gig is definitely the next one. I've had some wonderful experiences, but I'm excited about what the future holds."

29:38 "I love all of the different things that I get to do. But I think it's important to take time for yourself."

32:38 About revenue streams and bartering: "Look around and see what you need help with. And if you have a service that you can provide to somebody else who can help you, then allow that to happen."

37:16 "The French horn sort of chose me."

40:14 "I think more than anything right now, because I'm not playing to earn money, when I play I play because I love it. And I play to explore music that I love. It’s not for anyone else, it's for me."

42:15 "When this first started, I think everybody was just - was and still is - we're all thrown into all of this uncertainty. And I was thinking, what can I control? Well, I can control what goes in and out of my body, and I can control how I treat my body. If you don't feed your body good pure food right now, your brain is not going to respond very well, and right now you need your wits about you."

43:51: "Be open to learning. Don't be afraid to say 'I don't know how to do this.' But make it your business to learn how to do it. Just be prepared. Don't ever stop learning because with that learning comes growth, and comes so many opportunities."

--

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

This especially happens with those who are just starting out. There seems to be an inherent fear that if you charge too much, you won’t get any clients and your business will fail. But it’s so much harder to sustain a business when you’re undervaluing your services. You have to work twice as hard, and who wants to do that?

00:26 “I can’t charge that much” is usually more about imposter syndrome than the value of your services.

01:01 The right client is not going to trust someone whose rates are too low.

01:54 Charging low rates makes it harder for you to charge more in the future, can be a strain on your mental health, and can hurt your entire industry.

02:48 “If I do a job in 30 minutes, it’s because I spent 10 years learning how to do that in 30 minutes. You owe me for the years, not the minutes.” - Davy Greenberg

03:31 Charge project rates versus hourly so you aren't penalized for efficiency.

04:40 Rates should be based on a number of factors - your experience, skill level, expertise in a specific industry, and market value. Do your research.

06:02 Don't underestimate the value of your time, and make sure you and your client are on the same page about what they are paying for and what you are delivering.

06:42 Be confident that you are worth it and you will connect with the people who understand and appreciate you for what you have to offer.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Thanks for listening!

00:38 How do we find that balance that's so important in the middle of the chaos?

01:06 One of my solutions for everything is just to find humor in a situation. A couple of my go-to videos when I need to laugh: https://youtu.be/KOOmaBbqYBk (Michael Stipe's dance moves around 1:50) and any Future Islands performance: https://youtu.be/GK4lD3Uf8_o

02:57 Changing your mood is helpful, but sometimes you have to understand why your mood is what it is in the first place. I had this big realization this week that certain notification sounds are triggers for me

04:04 If you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, it's most likely because of all the work you have to do. But is there something else that is contributing to that stress that you can control?

04:57 People often say the reason they started their business is because they want to be their own boss. But what does it mean to be a boss?

06:09 It all comes down to how you communicate with the other people, and understanding that being the boss does not mean that you're better than everybody else.

07:18 When you're working on a team, whether there's somebody in a position of power or not, it's never okay to treat anybody as if they are less than. 

07:42 If you feel that somebody on your team is being disrespectful or condescending, before you go into defensive mode, stop and think about the person's intent.

09:03 You don't have to keep working with people who don't align with the way that you like to work. 

10:00 If you're one of those people who doesn't have an inner monologue, can you describe what "abstract" thoughts are like? It seems like it would be peaceful.

10:39 How do you find balance when you're busy? I think you have to take it in the moments where it’s available to you. 

11:24 Sometimes I think we have to bargain with ourselves and remember that, even though we're running businesses, we don't have to work all the time. It's not just about work-life balance, it's about work-work balance. 

11:57 While I'm grateful to be busy, sometimes I almost wonder if it's a gift or a curse - but I always choose to look at it as a gift.

13:38 It's all about perspective - choosing to find the good and believing that things happen the way they're supposed to.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Thanks for listening!

Buy ]]> Joining me today is a filmmaker, entrepreneur, and author. His latest book, “A Filmmaking Mindset: The New Path of Today’s Filmmaker” is available on Amazon now. I’m talking with Kelly Schwarze about how the film industry is shifting and what we can do to adapt.

Buy ]]> Aardvark Girl | Amanda McCune false No 2180 18 full Aardvark Girl Q&A #1 https://www.selfemployedcreatives.com/e/qa1/ https://www.selfemployedcreatives.com/e/qa1/#comments Mon, 07 Sep 2020 00:00:00 -0700 aardvarkgirl.podbean.com/65c1917d-fa59-36e7-a734-444ab29549c5 I thought it would be fun to do something a little differently, so this episode will be a bit of a Q&A session. I posted a poll on social to find out what you might want to know from me, and here are a few of the suggestions.

00:16 How did you know it was time to go out on your own?

06:33 How long did it take you to get started?

08:07 What is the best and worst advice you were given when starting out?

13:35 What is the most overlooked skill you need to be successful?

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

Would you like to hear more Q&A episodes? What are some of the questions you would like to ask me or that you would like to know about?

Please send them to me on social @aardvarkgirl or email info@aardvarkgirl.com.

I really want to know if this is something that you would like to hear more of, or if you prefer the single topic episodes instead.

Thanks for listening!

00:37 Who’s to say how much you have to get done by when? Only you! That’s one of the perks of being a business owner. We need to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves.

01:12 The world is in a weird place right now, and that’s affecting everybody.

01:52 I'm personally at a point where I can't get everything done.

02:38 The pandemic has had an impact on our motivation and productivity.

03:53 I needed to get this episode out but was just starting blankly at my computer because I didn't feel like writing an outline.

05:27 I think it's important to know and acknowledge that we all deal with these same things in our businesses, and in our personal lives in general. People who seem like they have it all together, don't always have it all together. 

05:57 It's important to take breaks to recharge.

07:16 If you're faced with two options, make your choice based on what is right for you in the moment, and not just what you think you should do.

08:19 There isn't one solution that is going to work for everyone every time.

08:59 It's good to set goals, to have plans, to strategize. But it's also important to be okay with changing your mind. 

09:34 If you Google productivity hacks, you'll find advice from all these people who are "doing it all." But they're not doing it all. 

10:14 Being human is complicated. But instead of fighting that, let's embrace it. Enjoy the fact that you can change your mind. 

11:27 Be decisive and know how to figure out if you need to do something now or if you can afford to wait.

12:41 It comes down to you and what's right for you. You don't have to explain to everyone else why you decided to do something or not do something.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, email info@aardvarkgirl.com or find me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you want to work with me, that’s where you’ll find me, too.

Thanks for listening!

Learn more about Danielle at http://www.danielledemski.com/

Follow her on Instagram @danielledemski and Twitter @danielle_demski

00:39 Balancing work, marriage & motherhood

01:56 Adjusting to life during COVID - when productions aren't happening, travel isn't safe, and you have to find new adventures.

04:19 When you love what you do, you figure it out - producers are finding new ways to shoot while social distancing

05:31 Working from home with a husband and two small children

09:05 Missing sports

10:28 Adapting how tv & other content will be made

11:42 Don't worry! The new episodes of "Let's Make a Deal" that you're seeing on TV now were filmed before lockdown!

I emphasize this because I like to have everything in order before I launch anything. But in the past, that put me in the habit of wasting time. Time that I could’ve been spending actually doing business and not just planning for it. I couldn’t even count the number of times in the last 5 years that I’ve changed my focus, my website, my services, my internal processes, everything about my business. It’s constantly evolving, and I love that. I’ve had to learn to trust and accept that you can’t know everything ahead of time – you have to get in there and start doing. That’s the best way to figure out what you don’t know.

That being said, you have to start somewhere. So start with the basics. But even if you’ve already started and are running your business, don’t tune out just yet. I’m going to talk about two of the most important things that all self-employed business owners should be doing, and I find that a lot of people aren’t. First, and most importantly, be clear on what your business is.

01:30 Decide on your business name and get the matching domain.

02:04 Make sure you have a strong logo and website. My personal recommendation is Tansy Aster Creative

03:25 Be clear about what products or services you're offering and what you're going to charge.

03:47 Create a one-page business plan to help clarify the information in your head.

04:06 It's important to have a good CPA.

05:02 Decide if you want to start as a sole proprietor or LLC.

06:40 Get the appropriate business licenses.

07:30 You must keep separate accounts for your business income and expenses - never mix with your personal accounts!

08:34 Keeping solid bookkeeping records will make your life easier. Check out Quickbooks Online, Freshbooks (affiliate link) and Wave Apps.

10:05 Make it easy for clients to pay you, even if you lose 3% to credit card fees (which are tax deductible).

10:29 You don't have to be profitable right away to deduct your business expenses.

10:56 Plan on putting aside at least 35% of your income to cover your taxes.

It sounds like a lot. I know. It can be intimidating, but if you start getting into the mindset of a proper business owner now, you will be much better prepared to move forward. It does get easier as you go. So if you want to start a business, get these things in order, stop thinking about it, and get going.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

01:06 What follower count can means for podcasters, YouTubers, IG posters and bloggers

01:39 Looking for validation in the numbers

02:12 My goal is to develop meaningful connections with other business owners

02:58 Share helpful tips, strategies, images and videos - don't make it all about selling

03:15 Don't be afraid to mix it up with some non-business posts to show who you are

04:15 Growth can be slow - it takes time to build and maintain the right audience

04:58 Sometimes we expect too much too fast. There's no set amount of time that is "right."

05:14 Take the wins when you get them. When anyone connects with your post, you've accomplished something.

05:42 Take a minute to tell people when you like what they're doing. That feedback matters. We should support each other.

06:35 Keep doing good work, share when you’re inspired to share, and keep being true to who you are. That’s what really matters.

He talks about how his love of Broadway led to a thriving career in PR and ultimately starting his own company.

We discuss the 3 most important things his mom taught him - "be kind, be honest, and be forgiving." He also adds "be respectful" to that list, and applies these traits in everything he does. He understands the importance of surrounding yourself with like-minded people, which is why he only does business with people who have these same values.

Hear Michael explain why kindness should never be mistaken for weakness, how communication is lacking these days, and why his biggest pet peeve is when people don't respond to emails. Check out the full episode for more insight into the world of publicity, staying humble, and doing more than what's expected of you.

Find Michael on social @mikecaprio

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

02:00 Doing more than what’s expected of you, in terms of throwing a media event.

04:13 “We all have to understand that we have to help each other.”

05:14 Looking at the bigger picture to find relationships that are going to last 20 years, as opposed to a three- or four-month contract. Michael has been representing Olivia Newton-John for the last 22 years.

07:16 Michael’s vow to take these three things his mom taught him through the rest of his life: be kind, be honest, and be forgiving.

09:45 “You have to respect the people you work with.”

12:10 The influence of the team around you.

13:12 Choosing to work with down to earth, kind clients like Olivia Newton-John, Ian Ziering, Richard Marx, Vinny G from Jersey Shore, Chippendales, Jon Secada, and more.

16:54 Having a good sense of who you are and what you can deliver. “I firmly believe you just need to be honest.”

19:42 Thinking outside of the box – how Michael’s career started with an internship in college.

22:39 The importance of loving what you do. “I've rarely had a day where I wake up and I go, “Oh God, I've got to deal with that person today.” And that, to me, that’s success.”

23:40 Michael’s post-college journey, turning a 3-day temp job into a full-blown career.

28:20 Creating opportunities. “You'll succeed in life if you actually listen. If you don't always keep your mouth open, but you keep your ears open all the time, you're going to get a lot further.”

31:50 Moving on to create his own company, Caprio Media Design, in 1998. “Success is skill and opportunity.”

34:10 The difficulties we’re facing now with the pandemic, and why it’s important to do what we can to help. “If you can’t give back, what’s the point of getting?”

36:40 No matter what your skill is, you can choose to be positive, kind and respectful. 

38:12 The importance of communication in business, and why his biggest pet peeve is when people don’t respond to emails.

43:23 In addition to being kind, honest, and forgiving, be respectful. “Have respect for what everybody's doing. We are all the exact same person.”

45:35 “Our future is all about young people, and young people have to be passionate. Actually, everybody has to be passionate.”

One of the trickiest parts of running your business can be finding new clients. So many of us know what we have to offer, but conveying it clearly to the right person at the right time can be challenging.

And a lot of us don’t want to sell. You want the work, but you don’t want to be pushy or gimmicky or come across as desperate. So you spend the time to craft a clever, well-written pitch that you believe will connect. You send it out to your carefully curated list of ideal customers. And then… crickets. So many people don’t even bother to respond, and that leaves you confused, disappointed, and wondering what you could’ve done differently.

Based on what I’ve received lately, and what I’ve heard from other business owners, here are some suggestions for pitching new clients.

01:06 Do your research.

Make sure that the person or company you’re pitching is a good match for your services. Take the time to understand what the business needs and how you’d fit in. It’s really obvious when you’re sending the same generic template to everyone, and that doesn’t usually work.

02:18 Make it about THEM, not you.

The most common mistake I see in pitches is when the vendor makes it about what they’ve done, and what they need, instead of focusing on what they can do for the client. You want to solve a problem for them and make their lives easier. Consider their needs and let them know what you can do for them.

03:11 Personalize it

Let the potential client know why you connect with them – whether it’s a personal experience, a particular set of values, or sharing a similar goal. Why do you want to work with them? Why should they want to work with you? These days, people are looking for much more than a service provider. They want to build relationships with others who resonate with their ideals.

03:53 Be authentic

When pitching a new client, or interviewing for a new job, people have a tendency to say what they think the hiring person wants to hear. This often comes across as rehearsed speeches, catch phrases, and vague descriptions of what they have to offer. But if everyone is basically saying the same thing, what sets you apart? Be honest in your pitch - be who you are and not who you think they want you to be.

05:17 Show your value

The best way to engage new clients is to identify their pain points and offer solutions. Do you have a specific idea for that person’s company? Can you provide a case study that shows the value you provide? Do you have any free resources you can share? You want to keep the email short, but provide options so they can explore further if they want to.

06:04 Make it easy for them to learn about you

People like to find out as much as possible about someone they’re considering hiring, so make it easy for them to find helpful, positive information about you. Your website should be easy to navigate and clearly show what services you offer. Is your LinkedIn page up to date? This is often the first place people go, so it should be as detailed as your resume, if not more. Be sure to include recent projects, clients, credits list, portfolio samples, or whatever is relevant to your industry and the people you’re trying to attract. And don’t forget that they will look for you on social, and everything you post could impact how they perceive you.

07:08 Have strong references

Never underestimate the importance of having strong references available for your potential clients. List them on your resume. Get recommendations on your LinkedIn profile. Post testimonials on your website. It can be uncomfortable to brag about yourself, so let other people do it for you! But, don’t be afraid to acknowledge that you’re good at what you do. People need to know that if they’re going to work with you. It’s important to act confidently so others know they can trust you to get the job done.

08:46 Don’t take it personally

No one likes rejection. It’s hard when you put all this effort into a pitch… just to hear a “no,” or, worse, nothing at all. But it’s important to remember not to take it personally. Rejection isn’t always about you. You never really know what’s going on with the other person, and there could be a number of reasons why it’s not the right time, none of which are about your talent, ability, or personality at all.

09:56 Manage Your Expectations

Pitching new clients isn’t easy. It can be time consuming, nerve-wracking, and frustrating. Remember to manage your expectations. Most email marketing studies in 2020 show average open rates of 20% or lower – that means that only 20% (or less) of people are even opening emails, let alone reading them and converting into clients. So give yourself a break!

10:20 Send it and let it go

Put your best effort into your pitch, hit send, and let it go. Don’t obsess over any lack of response, or beat yourself up thinking you’ve failed. That’s simply not the case. Remember that the time you’re spending is an investment in yourself, and keep trying. You never know who might connect at the right moment and become your next big client.

It’s not saying that all positivity is bad, but if you’re portraying yourself as being happy no matter what, or shutting out anything that might be viewed as negative, that’s the problem. It's also encouraging everyone to always see the bright side, or to keep anything bad buried instead of opening up about it. That can be dangerous, too. Sometimes that kind of insincere positivity can lead to unintended harm, misunderstanding, or worse. Thinking about it in that context, I can understand why the word “toxic” might apply.

But my optimism is grounded in realism. It’s not about pretending that nothing bad ever happens or thinking that how you feel when something does is wrong. It’s about accepting the situation and making the choice to find something good in it. That’s not always easy. You can’t necessarily see it right away. It can take some active effort, but just like with anything, with practice it can become habit to search for the good instead of focusing on the bad. Here are some of the ways I apply a positive mindset to my business and personal life.

01:30 My “1-day rule” for negative feelings

02:05 Being practical about what I can control

02:25 We can feel a lot of different things at once.

03:05 Making positivity a habit using the Improv concept of "Yes, and..."

04:07 What does all this talk about feelings have to do with business? When you have a positive, solution-oriented way of thinking, you can work through obstacles more effectively. And that is crucial in business.

04:34 Mindset is a huge part of my business coaching, because people need to understand the "why"

05:33 Change “I have to” to “I get to”

06:03 Little shifts in the way you think can drastically impact to how you feel about your business, the people around you, and so much more. When it comes down to it, positivity isn’t going to solve the world’s problems, or even your own. It’s not going to prevent bad things from happening. But, if you choose to be optimistic and focus on the good, you’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come your way. And that helps you build a stronger business. There’s nothing toxic about it.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

We talk about random meetings leading to lifelong friends (one such encounter with him is the reason I'm called "Aardvark Girl"), finding gratitude and acceptance, looking at fear as a driver, stepping out of comfort zones, and being conscious of time slipping away.

He also breaks down his songwriting process, his love of words, hiding philosophy in lyrics, and why he leaves meaning open to the interpretation of the listener. With the constant changes in the world, he understands the value of creating solely for the love of the art, especially when there is no business model for what you want to do.

You either have excuses or a plan. Hear all about Robbie's plan in this insightful episode from a songwriter's perspective.

You can find Robbie at https://www.robbiegennet.com/ and http://www.thekeyofone.com or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/robbiegennet

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

00:19 How a random meeting after a concert in 1997 led to the name "Aardvark Girl"

03:52 Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes random events can change the course of our lives.

05:05 Keeping a positive attitude, even through tragedy - it's about gratitude and perspective.

06:04 How two major back-to-back tragedies fueled Robbie to create more. It started with acceptance.

08:17 The impact from these tragedies seeped into his songwriting - looking at things from a meta level. Using fear as a driver, he aims to unlock and break that instinct that stops people from unifying with others.

10:47 Making the choice to keep moving forward by developing a process for writing songs and making the effort rather than waiting for inspiration to hit. You have excuses or you have a plan.

11:50 Creating for the sake of creating, and engaging that creativity to elicit deeper thinking in others.

14:55 The meaning of a song is open to the interpretation of the listener, regardless of what it was written about.

19:59 The power of music - the feelings, the mood, the visceral emotion... These days, there are a lot more ways to get out to people and connect with the ones who "get" you.

21:35 Nostalgia from the music in our teens and twenties and how it seems to be more impactful than music now.

24:00 Missing curation, and wondering how you can make something now that's so compelling that people don't want to shut it off.

25:19 When your whole industry changes, you have to adapt or you're going to get left behind. With no business model for music, you can only do it for the love.

26:42 What every artist wants is to be taken seriously, and to matter.

27:34 "Your best songs are ahead of you." That's how every day of your life should be.

30:49 On being conscious of time slipping away, and how that can accelerate your goals and drive.

33:15 "Have delusions of grandeur! Pretend that the thing that you're creating is going to get out there and affect the world in a great way."

34:23 "You can't sit idle. That's the only thing you can't do. You have to scratch into it every day, grab the shovel, put it in the dirt, wipe your brow, and dig. That's it."

I've heard so many freelancers complain about an "unreasonable" client who calls after work hours, need constant attention, doesn't respect their time, etc. But rather than talk to the client about those issues, they just complain and build resentment inside.

Sometimes, yes, clients are... challenging. But if you aren't happy with how business is going, and they don't know your concerns, how are they supposed to change?

00:44 Rule #1: Keep emotion out of it. Business conversations should be practical and logical, with the goal of finding a mutual solution.

01:08 Contracts should include every detail - scope of work, rates, schedule, location, payment terms, etc. Make sure both sides have a clear understanding of everything that is expected.

01:31 Working with friends can be wonderful, but don't forget about rule #1, and make sure there is a solid written agreement in place. It's easy to think you don't need all of that because you already trust the person, but it's important to treat it like any business deal - it protects both sides in case anything goes wrong.

02:38 When you're feeling undervalued or disrespected by your client, it's important to talk to them about it. Otherwise, they might not realize they're doing anything wrong. It's important to establish boundaries when it comes to office hours, where you're doing your work, etc.

04:07 When you're working as a freelancer or independent contractor, you set your own hours and location. If a client wants to dictate those for you, they have to hire you as an employee.

05:36 Consider communication style. We all have different preferences when it comes to emailing, texting, and general communication. If you and your client like to do things differently, talk to them and try to reach a compromise.

06:13 It's okay to push back against your client, but remember to be respectful in the way you handle it. The one area where I recommend going along with whatever they want is when it comes to accounting. You want to make it easy for them to pay you.

06:47 When a payment is late, don't be afraid to follow up, but approach the conversation in a friendly manner. No one is going to go out of their way to help you if you yell at them, even if you are upset for a valid reason. There are a number of reasons why a payment might be delayed, so give people the benefit of the doubt.

08:37 Beware of scope creep - when the client keeps adding work or changing expectations from the original agreement. Remind them, politely, about the terms of your contract and let them know you'd be happy to discuss rates for the additional requests. Remember rule #1, and don't assume they're trying to take advantage of you.

10:03 Sometimes you have to walk away. If you feel that a client is constantly abusing you or disrespecting your boundaries, it's not a healthy working relationship. Don't waste your time, or theirs, if your working styles just aren't compatible. Letting go of a bad client frees up your time to work with someone else who is a better fit.

10:53 When deciding whether to take on a new client, consider more than the money. A low-paying client is likely to be more demanding and difficult, cause you more stress, and take you away from opportunities to work with those who understand the value of your services.

11:59 Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, charge what you're worth, or to value your own time. Be courageous and have those difficult conversations with your clients. Communication is so important in everything we do. If you learn to do it effectively, you're going to be much happier and you can focus on the more fun parts of your business.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

01:08 A major difference between introverts and extroverts has to do with energy and how we're affected by the people around us.

01:30 Sometimes an introvert doesn't appear to be "shy," but that's not what it's about. We can be sociable, but we need time to ourselves to decompress afterward.

01:59 Networking can be particularly difficult as an introvert because we do better one-on-one than in large groups. I stopped going to loud, crowded networking events because they weren't enjoyable or productive for me.

02:42 You have to honor yourself and know when you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone, and when you need to accept that something isn't right for you.

03:11 At one of those networking events, someone told me I couldn't be a producer because I'm an introvert. When actually, some of my introverted tendencies make me a stronger producer. The power of observation allows me to be keenly aware of what's going on around me, helping me anticipate potential problems. Listening to others instead of always talking helps me connect with others.

04:28 Being quiet and nice are not hindrances. You don't have to be bold and outspoken to be successful. You can be those things and be successful, but the point is you can be introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between, and be good at what you do.

05:00 Know who you are and own it. Understanding your strengths helps you navigate client relationships better. Sometimes you might choose to compromise, but other times you might realize you're just not the right fit.

05:57 Don't be afraid to have conversations with your clients, vendors, and other people you're working with - let them know how you work and why it benefits them. Just because they pay you doesn't mean they can decide how you should run your business. It all comes back to communication.

06:56 You just have to be who you are. It's the best way to stay authentic to your business and make sure you're connecting with the right people who appreciate you. You can be an awkward introvert and still be successful. You can be a life-of-the-party extrovert, and still be successful. Just be yourself and be successful.

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

00:56 Listening to advice

01:50 Some of the biggest life decisions I've made have been based on gut instinct

03:15 Why I'm glad I didn't take other people's advice

04:07 Trusting your gut when it seems counterintuitive to what you "should" do

05:27 Making decisions that are authentic to you and your business - why I don't use the proven successful method of email marketing

08:41 How do you know when your instincts are telling you to do something?

Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

It's a long episode because we cover a lot of important topics:

- the connection between mindset & money

- sharing your personal stories to connect with others

- pushing yourself out of your comfort zone

- the importance of communication & having hard conversations

- releasing judgment, assumptions & resentment

- setting boundaries with clients

- the danger of blaming COVID-19 & the economy

- abundance mindset vs. fixed mindset

- how your ego can hold you back

- being mindful with what you have so you can prepare for the future

- learning to pivot and find opportunities during difficult circumstances

- discipline vs deprivation when it comes to managing money

- reallocating your resources to get what you want

- connecting with your audience as a content creator

- accepting imperfection and just getting started

- choosing your own narrative

02:01 Being confident enough to share your most vulnerable experiences. "If there’s something I don’t want to talk about, that is exactly what I have to talk about."

06:28 Starting the Best Life podcast – it’s scary, but if it helps one person, it’s always worth it.

08:42 Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. “Be the buffalo.”

10:48 Have hard conversations, talk about the things you don’t want to do, put yourself out of your comfort zone. Rip the Band-Aid off.

10:55 Communication. Don’t get resentful about things the other person doesn’t know about.

11:54 Judgment. Assumption. Resentment. These things will destroy any relationship. Is there something in your JAR you need to talk about?

13:36 Freelancers complaining about clients – have you set boundaries & talked to them about it? Don’t ruin a working relationship over a conversation that was never had. Set and manage expectations.

15:49 Blaming the economy or COVID? Everyone's doing it. But don't focus on being a victim of things that are out of your control.

21:21: So much is mindset. Do you have an abundance mindset or a fixed mindset? Are you focused on what you don’t have, or are you looking for different possibilities?

22:17 Check your ego. Tell people what you’re struggling with. Ask for help. Don't let pride hold you back.

23:01 We don’t know the domino effect of what’s happening now and how it might affect you a few years from now. Be faithful and mindful with what you have. Live within, or below, your means.

24:27 COVID-19 happened and a lot of people have lost their jobs. A lot of people will never get that work back again. However, you have skills. You can do something about it. You can come back stronger. There are people who are making so much money right now, who have used this as an opportunity - and so can anyone else. Learn to pivot, and know that your circumstances don’t create your outcome.

25:25 If you’re serious about building a safety net and being financially comfortable… if not financially thriving… you have to make an active choice. And sometimes that comes from sacrifice. But there’s a difference between discipline and deprivation. You’re giving up something for what you want, not to deprive yourself of joy. We need to learn how to control our spending and to be able to create more income, but ultimately it is being intentional with what we actually want our life to be.

28:39 If you want your lifestyle to be different, you have to do something different. Most often, it’s not about making more money, it's just reallocating the resources you have and making an intentional plan.

29:17 How/why Danny created the "Find the Money" project, and “Master Your Money” course.

33:31 Part of being a content creator is really listening to your audience and seeing what they want and what they need and how you can help fill that. Serve in a way that people need and that they’re asking for.

34:48 Sell them what they want, give them what they need. You have to create a bridge from where they are to where they’re going to be. They need to have the same epiphany that you had.

36:24 Sell your program or online course before you create it. Don’t waste your time making it until you know people are going to buy it.

38:39 Perfectionism is the worst enemy of anything. You have to start somewhere. How badly do you actually want it? Work on the solutions instead of the problems.

40:57 Calling out your bullsh*t. No one else can control your thoughts. No one can make you mad unless you choose to be mad. You have to decide who you want to be. We are in control of our own perception.

43:41 How, after 18 years, Danny built a relationship with the daughter she gave up for adoption when she was 15.

47:47 You can’t necessarily always judge a circumstance on what it looks like right now. What seems like the worst thing that ever happened could turn into something amazing.

You can find Danny on social @dannyjdotcom or email danny@dannyj.com

And check out some of her programs at https://www.findthemoneyproject.com and https://www.21dayjournal.com

Connect with me through your favorite platform! https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl

And it’s one thing to be prepared – to have a sort of backup plan, to have your savings put aside in case of emergencies, to understand that your business is going to fluctuate throughout the year.

But sometimes, the unexpected happens. And what do you do then?

00:52 Don't get too comfortable

01:39 We're all in this together

02:15 Sit back and wait or be proactive

02:54 Educating your clients about how to adapt

03:32 How offering remote production services has helped me

04:16 The benefit of doing things in new ways

05:03 We don't know what the new normal is going to be

https://www.aardvarkgirl.com

The video version of this podcast is available on my YouTube channel.

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, email info@aardvarkgirl.com or find me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you want to work with me, that’s where you’ll find me, too.

And while it's good to have high standards for yourself, seeking perfection can be an excuse that stops us from moving forward. But making mistakes is how we learn, grow, and improve.

Sometimes it's better to do something that isn't perfect than to not do anything at all.

00:42 Why I struggle with making videos

02:08 Accepting my awkwardness

02:58 Making excuses

03:41 Just start.

03:58 When "good enough" is okay to get started

04:27 Authenticity & Personal Branding

05:18 Is the quest for perfection getting in the way of what you want to do?

05:57 Do something.

https://www.aardvarkgirl.com

The video version of this podcast is available on my YouTube channel.

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, email info@aardvarkgirl.com or find me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you want to work with me, that’s where you’ll find me, too.

Thank you for being here.

In this episode, I share 10 tips for time management (plus two bonus tips at the end). We all feel like we don't have enough time sometimes, but sometimes it's just a matter of knowing where our time is going, where we want it to go, and finding ways to keep ourselves productive.

00:31 Time Tracking

01:29 To Do Lists

02:11 Set Deadlines

02:45 Peak Scheduling

03:47 Remove Distractions

04:20 Time Blocking

06:55 Do it Now

07:19 Put Your Phone Away

08:02 Alarms & Reminders

08:54 Templates

09:18 Take Breaks

09:47 Say No

The video version of this podcast is available on my YouTube channel.

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, email info@aardvarkgirl.com or find me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you want to work with me, that’s where you’ll find me, too.

And since I’m just getting starting out here, it would be really helpful if you can take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share with your other self-employed creative friends.

Thank you for being here.

https://www.aardvarkgirl.com

In this introductory episode, I share my own work experience and qualifications that have gotten me here, where I can share everything I've learned throughout my journey.

1:06 Producer

1:54 Business & Project Manager

4:24 Business Coach for Creatives

8:04 Why I'm Here

The video version of this podcast is available on my YouTube channel.

If you have questions, comments, or suggestions for topics, email info@aardvarkgirl.com or find me on social @aardvarkgirl. If you want to work with me, that’s where you’ll find me, too.

And since I’m just getting starting out here, it would be really helpful if you can take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share with your other self-employed creative friends.

Thank you for being here.

https://www.aardvarkgirl.com

But I’ll be honest – it’s not always easy. It can feel overwhelming with all the things you have to do. But you CAN do it – you just have to be motivated and willing to do the work. My tips will help you handle the “business” side of things so you can focus on your talent. You already have everything you need to succeed. I’m just here to guide you.

I know you’re busy, so these episodes will be short and get right to the point. I’ll share the common issues we face, along with the solutions that have worked for me and my clients.

You can watch or listen to episodes in any order, and if there’s a topic you want to hear about – email info@aardvarkgirl.com or DM me on social @aardvarkgirl.

Please subscribe on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode, and share with your other self-employed creative friends.

Thanks for joining me!