Whether your daddy's in jail raising hell or your sister's on the corner selling something for sale, we've got something for YOU on this riveting episode of Thot Topics Podcast. But what's on the menu? I'm so very glad you asked...

This week, we talk about THE ART OF FUJOING OUT: what makes gay guy sex so fun to straight women? Are the gay guys in the minds of the slash fiction enjoyer even gay guys? WHO CARES? Today, we do. More thoughts on Heated Rivalry and chick porn abound...

But that's not all sweetheart: we talk about TOURETTE'S AT THE BAFTAs and a fun return to Obamastyle Twitter-- should you be punished for knowing about the N word and having Tourette's? The answer may surprise you...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Fund our own Heated Rivalry remake on Patreon.

FUCK! It's a Sunday... thankfully we've got a big beautiful brand new episode for precious little Thot Topics listeners all over the globe. It's coming right up so you better get this party started!

First, we issue formal comment on Nick getting dragged within an inch of his life on Twitter by people who really enjoy the work of auteur filmmaker "Markiplier." We review IRON LUNG in earnest, and revisit CUTIES... the movie that makes you a pedophile!

But that's not all: we get into the GRAMMYS and unpack all the winners and the many many many losers. It's a blast from start to finish... get to listenin'!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Please welcome Debby to the stage on Patreon.

When the pawg hits the conflicts he feels like a king. What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight and he'll win the whole thing...

HAPPY JANTEENTH! Gather around the fireplace our little nieces and nephews because it's time for a story about a little black girl from the Brewster projects of Detroit, Michigan. This week, white girl rap is on the brain: we unpack SUNSHINE BENZI and Robyn's new song SEXISTENTIAL. What sort of white girl rap is the world willing to accept right now? What kind of white girl makes the perfect rapper? ALL is revealed in our ultimate theory...

But that's not all-- we run down the list of GOLDEN GLOBES winners and make some light predictions for Oscar season, mourn the loss of our gaydars, and sooooo much more. Fasten your skeetbelt!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Walk a mile in our louboutins on Patreon.

But that's not all: we also issue our formal prognosis for the new year-- the year of the WHORSE! What's to come in the New Year? Horsing around? Laboring hard in the fields of life? Advanced, complex nail care? We gaze into our crystal ball and see what's juicy.

More to come on this week's aftershow, Thotline 10.5 for patrons only!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Purchase an Alicia Key for the new year on Patreon.

Puck this ass Hollander! Puck it!

It's a winter wonderland in the Thot Topics studio and we are in the spirit of giving: CUNT, that is! There's so much to get into, and there's no time like the PRESENT... LOOOL

First, we review the gay hockey program that is licking and sucking and fondling the nation: HEATED RIVALRY. Why are the guys not even hot? Why did they bother with the hockey? Why do straight girls want to watch straight guys rail? We recommend a visual of Rachel Reid to enjoy fully.

Then, it's WRAPPED SEASON, so we look back on the 15 defining songs of 2025 for each girl. I'll warn you it was a very LGBT year, but we have fun anyway looking back on a year of musical triumph.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Take a slapshot on our tight little goal on Patreon.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY TO LISTEN TO THOT TOPICS!!! Wouldn't you agree? Whatever your answer is we're coming to ratatat on those little eardrums one way or another you dirty, dirty girl! This week, the girls unpack the etymology of "TREATLER" and attempt to self-diagnose. We are medical professionals after all. But then it's down to biz!

We talk about Rina Sawayama's cultural appropriation allegations against Sabrina Carpenter. Who left their WHORE shoes on in my beautiful Japanese home???

Then, we pull out our dark crystals (you don't want to know where from) and SCRY the night away, into the future of MUSIC JOURNALISM: specifically, is Pitchfork making a huge mistake allowing user ratings? Will the STAN kill the CRITIC, or have they already? It's a serious investigation luv...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Take your shoes off at the door on Patreon. And in the spirit of this week's topic, why not leave us a review? :P

Anyway we are INDEED back again for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! This week, the girls stare down the barrel of their 28th birthday and ponder what that year is supposed to be all about. YAY another episode about our problematic relationship with our tight little bodies!! But then it's down to business.

We watch the trailer for Rachel Sennott's zillennial voice-of-a-generation show I LOVE LA and make some predictions for its future. We also try to make it to the end of the teaser for Charli XCX's THE MOMENT without having an epileptic attack and dying. Naturally, there's SO much more, but you'll just have to listen, won't you...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Join the revolution on Patreon.

It may be Minoxidil Monday now, but this transmission was recorded on a beautiful Gay Guy Friday which rolled leisurely into the wee hours of Straight Guy Saturday. It's nice to look back on previous moments of pleasure and joy, ain't it?

This week, the girls play a riveting round of TRUTH OR DRINK, devising the structure of the P.N.O. (Perfect Night Out), pondering their most expensive mistakes, and recounting fashion disasters of yesteryear.

But not before a review of AM I THE DRAMA? the new "musical recording" by Cardi B, a discussion of our fraught relationship with SPOTIFY, and so much more. Grab a rag because it's gonna be a very juicy hour.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Enable us to continue cracking open cold ones on Patreon.

WELCOME to another beautiful, breezy, cool and calm Thot Topics Autumn. The air conditioner is off, the vibes are on, and untold cuntyliciousness lies just beyond the play button... The ideas discussed this week are so compelling and so unique that we're honestly jealous of you that you get to listen.

This week, the girls discuss the evil spirit lurking inside of JORDAN FIRSTMAN, speculate on the lives of some other famous gays, and brace ourselves for the upcoming Rachel Sennott show which appears to be DOA. Then, we discuss the peacemaking ritual between Ice Spice & Latto, including what some critics are calling a "song."

Naturally, that's not all, but we recorded this a few days ago and I already don't really remember what we talked about. Surely, you'll enjoy as much as we did mama. LOVE 2 ALL in the Thot Nation...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Donate to Cardi B's legal fund on Patreon.

After a much-needed sabbatical, the girls are back to give it to you raw, fresh, hot, and ready. By the power of your patience, the world cooked up some tasty drama for us to discuss with our whole, ample chests!

First, we discuss the untapped power of MONDAY NIGHTS and the trap of THIRSTY THURSDAYS. Then, we get down to business: the looming threat of THE LIFE OF A SHOWGIRL and what Taylor Swift has up her sleeve to punish us with next. Then, on a more pleasant note, we talk about LANA DEL REY vs ETHEL CAIN, a case overseen by NICKI MINAJ. We make our predictions for which Lana song will be Nicki's favorite from each album.

Then, in the spirit of last episode, we take on a bracket of RuPaul singles... deciding on an ultimate victor... it's a spiritually draining task but someone had to do it...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help us commission Peter Griffin-esque portraits of ourselves on Patreon.

WE ARE BEYONDDD BACK! The Thot Topics Studio is hot with the flames of literacy as we debrief on Nick finishing a draft of His Novel and other matters of girly importance. But the grind never stops in our world, sweetheart...

We take our sweet ass time to discuss Sydney Sweeney's white supremacist jeans/genes, and unpack whatever's going on with the Tea app and straight people in general. Who's gonna step up and FIX this mess girl!?! We're busy btw...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Verify that you are a woman by uploading your credit card information on Patreon.

Happy birthday America! Hold on to the feather in your cap and you betta call that thing macaroni because the real patriots have finally arrived. THIS WEEK, Nick undergoes an endurance test, zooming through a list of TikTok phenomena that Cris suspects Nick has never heard of.

But that's not all: a discussion on lite beer, boats, the current season of Love Island USA, and oh so much more. We're about to pop these firecrackers-- where the police at!?

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Open a tax-exempt Thot Topics savings account on Patreon.

Thank you for tuning in for a very special Pride Month Thotline! This time, we've accepted questions that made us gay (as in happy) from our cherished audience of homosexuals and women. We breach brand new territory this time: how to deal with freeloaders, how to stay sane with a work from home job, and yes... we take a monogamy question.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Thot Topics merch is restocked now on the webstore! Get on our party line on Patreon-- $5/month gets you a bonus episode every week!

Where to even begin? Nothing happened to anyone on the entire planet this week so we decided to do what dreamers do best: look n word. *INWARD. Sorry, INWARD... Anyway, we pose the question that's been weighing heavy on our spirit and even heavier on our breasts: how many drinks do you consider to be a lot of drinks? What's the REAL tea when it comes to managing the party girl lifestyle?

But that's not all: graduations, weddings, funerals, buying plane tickets on your laptop. So much is discussed it's impossible to capture the spirit in a measly episode description. You'll just have to find out, won't you fatty?

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Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Buy a girl a fuckin' drink first on Patreon.

WELCOME back to the Thot Topics red carpet coverage zone sponsored by E! News. This week, we review the many special outfits at the 2025 Met Gala and uh... we've seen better! Follow along with us with the Vogue list.

There's certainly more where that came from though hunny. Take a seat because this is gonna be a rough one...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Keep Doechii off the carpet in 2026 on Patreon.

No one ever said podcasting would be easy-- luckily, we are more than up to the task, even in sweltering fucking HOT 70 degree weather in our beautiful city, baby. Let's get down to business!

First, we check in on the inaugural round of the THOT TOPICS MUSIC LEAGUE (Join here!), shouting out our favorites and... others.... THEN, we discuss the reveal of the debut FKA Addison Rae album. But gosh darnit, you know that's not all.

We discuss Kanye sucking his cousin's PP and writing a song about it, and get into the reveal of the new Drag Race "All" "Stars" cast.... ughhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. You're our sister by birth-- become a patron by choice.

For $5/month, you get TWO episodes every single freaking week, including this: ON SECOND THOT, our aftershow where we are allowed to get a lil more personal wit it. We'll keep attempting to upload to the free feed in the meantime, but guarantee xxxclusive access below...

Don't wait, join the sisterhood NOW: patreon.com/thottopics

WELCOME... 2 OUR ISLAND! Thot TOPICS Island. Pon de beach, the girls take a vacation from cognitive functioning and basic logic skills: just for you. Lotion up sisters because surf is motherfucking UP!

This week, we discuss the finale of THE WHITE LOTUS-- the who, the what, the where, and most of all the WHY? Speak no evil girl... I better not hear no evil... THEN, we run out of things to talk about so we have a classic Womens' Business Seminar, covering all sorts of subjects: Pink Pony Club, us getting banned from Spotify, side hustles, psychoANALySIS, and more.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Be a pleaser on Patreon.

But that's not all-- we uncork The Poppers Question and get to sniffin'. Do poppers deserve to be banned? Are they lowkey safe and totally fine? We do some investigative reporting at the scene of the crime: DOUBLE SCORPIO, Incorporated...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help fight for huffers' rights on Patreon.

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Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.

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Welcome back to the Thot Topics Center for Controlling It, where this week we'll be working hard in the lab to bring America the truth and nothing BUT the truth. Check it! This week, we answer a few of our patrons' most pressing questions, but not before we address some quandaries of our own.

How do reservations work? (Reservoir?) Do any beauty products actually work? Should McDonald's go fully automatic? MANY issues are settled for good.

TRY MAGIC MIND! GO TO MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 AND USE PROMO CODE 'THOTPOD20' FOR 20% OFF ANY SINGLE PURCHASE, OR 48% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Chud you subscribe on Patreon? We think you chud. x

First of all, you dirty BITCH: we review the Grammys from head to toe and we have some constructive feedback. From BRAT to the other stuff, we go deep and dirty. THEN, little girl: we review the new Lady Gargar single ABRACADABRA and read the tea leaves for Miz Germanotta.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Abracado it to it on Patreon.

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We're back in the studio all by our lonesome, and I'm sorry to say it, but we are breaking our no-politics promise... not because we feel especially motivated but because we had no other ideas.

This week, the girls discuss the second Trump inaugie, banning pride flags on government buildings, the TikTok blackout, and MORE! We can't WAIT for the peanut gallery to chime in on this bad boy...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Protect your werker's rights on Patreon.

Get 45% off the Magic Mind bundle with with our xclusive link: https://magicmind.com/THOTPODJAN #magicmind #mentalwealth #mentalperformance

We're twenty-twenty-LIVE in the booth in the new year baby!! We hope your resolution wasn't to stop listening to the erotic audio stylings of Thot Topics because we're about to make it THAT much harder!

This week, we take calls and emails from our precious homosexual listeners to solve mental problems that have never been addressed by the medical community at large. What should you do if a guy is afraid of touching spit? Which of us would win in a fight? Do we like eating ass? ALL will be settled before a jury of our peers.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Get on our party line on Patreon.

TRY MAGIC MIND FOR 20% OFF WITH PROMO CODE THOTPOD20 AT MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20! GET YOUR MIND RIGHT MAMA!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Recoup our yogurt soju fund on Patreon.

You've heard of a one horse open sleigh... now get ready for TWO whore's open slay. That's right, we ain't hidin' it! This week, after a lovely girly catchup chat, we assess the BILLBOARD TOP 25 POPSTARS OF THE 21ST CENTURY list. We get a little heated about some of the inclusions, which is just perfect for this brisk holiday afternoon...

TRY MAGIC MIND! 20% off your first order, or 51% off your first subscription at magicmind.com/thotpod20 using the promo code THOTPOD20.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Hurry down our chimney on Patreon.

Flopular... you're gonna be flopyouular...

Welcome back to the Thot Topics glistening wintertime palace of holiday delights. This week, the girls are setting the table for a fancy feast of cunty proportions-- we hope you brought a bib, sis!

After a little bit of good old fashioned GIRL TIME, we give our review of WICKED-- the good, the bad, the tragic and the beautiful. Then, we uncork some other pressing thoughts on concealing one's fagcent.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Enroll at Thot Topics College Prep on Patreon.

Welcome back to the Thot Topics Twisted Labyrinth where nothing is quite as it seems... if you're feeling turkeylicious this season, have we got the episode for you!

This week, the girls catch up after a week apart: Cris delivers a field report from the mean streets of BAMF, Canada and Nick grapples with the everyday struggles of motherhood.

Then, it's down to business: we discuss Sabrina Carpenter pantomiming blowjays on stage and whether it's good for pop stars to get horny. Plus, we talk about Charli XCX's turn as SNL host and the exhausting future of Brat now that Kamala is out of the picture.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Can you say magenta on Patreon?

Hey girl. Did you know that um... it doesn't matter if you love him? OR capital H-I-M? We're calling all Little Monsters who are pushing 30 to the stage to speak their truth and speak it loud. What's on the menu this week, you ask? Obviously DISEASE, but there's so much more... we picture a future with ADDISON RAE, and struggle to let HALSEY play for longer than 45 seconds.

Luckily, there's so much more where that came from, but you'll just have to press play, wontcha!?

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. For more diseasey listening, throw a bitch a bone (FIVE bones to be exact) on Patreon.

This week in the Thot Topics Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Annex, the girls unpack several major violations of the international code of cunt. First, the BRAT REMIX ALBUM, the ancient demon KESHA, SAIKO and the call of BEING JAPANESE.

But naturally, there's more hot and juicy goodness where that came from. We discuss becoming a Trader Joe's girl, the decline in movie theater etiquette, Terrifier 3, and whatever else touches our beautiful twisted minds.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Bring honor upon your dojo on Patreon.

Love is in the air in the Thot Topics Studio tonight as the girls issue a transmission from the eve of Nick's wedding! We don't want to scare anyone, but it's time to bring out the big, big, big, big, big, balloons.

Naturally there IS business to attend to. We discuss SOPHIE's posthumous "album," Katy Perry's 143 as if there's anything to even say, and Lady Gaga's theater kid humiliation ritual Harlequin.

More is on the docket, including Lana Del Rey's surprise wedding, The Substance, Megalopolis, and sooooo much more. Lock and load, ladies!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Call us Megatron on Patreon.

We're back to business for the first time in a while so we do a little bit of girly catchup. Are we doing more than flirting with sobriety at this point? Who's gonna make the first move? Us? Or that tasty tasty MOCKTAIL? We recap Nick's bachelor party and ponder what it means to be a party girl in heart, but not in liver...

Then, we move on to the subject on everyone's lips: FAT GAY EIGHT YEAR OLDS. Who's got em? Who wants em? Is it okay to call them disgusting and shameful pigs? We investigate the gay guy selfie trend that has sent Twitter into a little spazout.

Then, we issue a formal prognosis on the Katy Perry situation following her response to The Dr. Luke Question. What's REALLY going on behind the scenes at Katy Perry headquarters? What would she have to do to turn this ship around? MUCH is revealed-- including our breasts, of course.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.

GET 20% OFF ANY PURCHASE OR 48% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION OF THEE ONLY PRODUCTIVITY SHOT APPROVED BY THOT TOPICS, MAGIC MIND! GO TO MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 AND USE THE CODE 'THOTPOD20' FOR YOUR XXXCLUSIVE DISCOUNT.

This week, we join forces in the Plus Size Creator's Autonomous Zone against the powers that be: hater ass faggots in the Patreon exit surveys. Once that demon is purged from our spirit, it's down to business as usual.

We take Raggedy Chappell to task over her complaints on TikTok about fans asking her for pictures. Is she cooked, or does she have a chance? Why is TikTok incompatible with pop stardom? Is privacy cringe? Or are gay guys the cringe ones? ALL will be revealed in the fullness of time...

But that's not all: we take a look at the recent study of the least attractive male hobbies, according to women. From vidya to trolling online, we psychoanalyze all parties to uncover the troof-- and nothing but the troof.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. For more low-effort content riddled with technical issues, throw the girls a freakin' bone on Patreon.

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What's on the menu, you ask? We discuss how to stave off BPD attachment tendencies, how to respectfully tell someone you no longer want to have sex with them, and whether it's worth it to live with your parents to get your coins up.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Get on our freakin' party line on Patreon.

Subscribe now at patreon.com/thottopics.

Long time no talk, loca! What's it been giving girlfriend?! This week, we've opened the gilded gates of the Thot Topics Golfing Greens and Garden for the unwashed masses to speak directly to the girls. That's right bitch: for the first time since December, it's time for EVERYONE to get in on the girl's chat with a special hotline episode!

And ohhhh boy, did our precious gay and gay-adjacent listeners deliver! We discuss everything under the sun, from being obsessed with foreskin to your in-laws making you an offer you can't refuse-- it's a wild ride from start to finish!

But that's not all-- we also have a private girls conference on body-ody-ody image and being a lawyer for the hawk.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Call us beep us if you wanna reach us on Patreon.

Anyway, MOST of an episode is here and I'm praying things will be back to normal this week lmfao. Here's what we got into: KAMALA 2024, the pressures of talking to teens when you feel like a teen inside, if it's a big deal that Gen Z and Gen Alpha can't read, and MORE! I'd keep writing but we recorded this so long ago I honestly don't remember... LOVE YOU

Get 46% off a subscription to Magic Mind Mental Performance SHOTZ at magicmind.com/thotpod20. Or, get 20% off any purchase on their site with the code THOTPOD20. God bless America, and god bless MAGIC MIND!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Throw a bitch a fucking bone on Patreon. We need the spiritual uplift.

This week is a really special one. Just honestly what the fuck guys. First, we unpack our fourth of july weekend for all its worth. These are NOT our cookies officer! Then, we review the brand new Katy Perry single "Woman's World," and wonder if Katy Perry knew that women are allowed to have jobs. We issue a formal prognosis for the 143 era and it's not looking great.

Last but certainly not least, we discuss Matt Bomer's beautiful family and whether it's heteronormative to have children-- whatever the HELL that means. We break new ground on a WELL-worn topic and there's much to enjoy.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. They really CAN all be California Gurls on Patreon.

Strap in (or on!) for the unique and incomparable stylings of THOT TOPICS! This week, we're in rare form to discuss all manner of gay guy bullshit happening on the timeline-- we're really playing the hits on this one. Thank you to all of the brain damaged middle aged homos who contributed their valuable thoughts!

The table is piled high with crucial documents of pride month behavior. First, we discuss the 17 year old insisting that he does not want attention online and being called a pedophile for saying so. Then, we talk about whether or not it's worth it to spend $300 a month on an Equinox membership and what gay guys REALLY mean when they say "networking." Of course, we had to discuss the guy whose boyfriend didn't let him top for 2 and a half years because he wasn't "daddy enough." You guys were really acting up LOL!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. You know you were hella wrong for what you did on Patreon.

**

WE ARE BACK IN BEESWAX WITH MAGIC MIND! For 20% off your first order of their mental performance shots at magicmind.com/thotpod20 or use the code THOTPOD20 at checkout. (Or for 48% off your first subscription order.) Godspeed!

Welcome to the Thot Topics podcast official Pride Month kickoff where we ask the question on everybody's lips (both sets!): Are YOU proud to be gay? We try our hand at "questions to ask an LGBT panelist", but before we do that, we air a few grievances around GETTING OLD and ALCOHOL AS A SOCIAL LUBRICANT. We're sipping from the fountain of youth this week y'all-- we advise you to throw on a two-piece and soak it up!

We were both really tired and had a piece of shit week but hopefully you find some sisterhood hidden in this profound and meaningful Girls Chat...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. 

You too can enjoy these vital conversations on Patreon at patreon.com/thottopics for only 4 dollars a month-- PLUS the standard premium-only episode every other week. Here's just a little taste...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.

We're BACK! And back in the New York GROOVE no less as we take on the many looks of the 2024 MET GALA, the theme of which was something about flowers or something? Hard to remember now girl. If you'd like to do a READ-ALONG with us, please enjoy your listening experience paired with photos from the good homosexuals at Vogue.

Naturally, that's NOT all to the tasty recipe that gives this episode it's robust flavor. We also talk about SWEAT and DEODORANT, the music of RAVEN-SYMONE, CAR CRASHES, LOSS PREVENTION, and THE JOYS OF TANNING. Please enjoy-- and god BLESS!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. If you have not already joined us on Patreon for our brand-new weekly bonus show, ON SECOND THOT, come and get you a piece before it's TOO LATE!

WELCUM 2 THE JUNGLE! The girls return to discuss matters of utmost importance with international implications. As we pregame for the Nicki Minaj concert and spread our passports wet 'n' wide for entry to Gag City, we pay ten dollars to get in the ball and take a closer look at what the world is up to...

First, we discuss the rates of LGBTness among Gen Z high schoolers, and the New York Times (I think? LOL) report that it's mostly girls saying that they are bisexual. Then, we discuss the Normal Middle Class Guy TikTok and unpack what makes straight men so drawn to the grindset.

Last but CERTAINLY not least, we unpack the imminent opening of JOHNSON'S the male strip bar set to replace Berlin in Boystown, and the fuming gogo boys involved. Pretty messy!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. We munch trade for dollars on Patreon. Don't forget to sign up for access to our new weekly bonus show for patronz!!

Welcome to the Thot Topics Brewhouse, where children and dogs alike will be killed immediately upon entry. Can we offer you a Michelob Ultra draft?

The girls return to the booth for a vital tribunal on all the issues facing a young woman in the world today: SSRIs, feline dental health, immune system support, desktop gaming, marijuana legislation, HIV that turns into AIDS, and so much more.

But naturally that's not all: we also discuss the photo that sent all kinds of totally normal people into a frenzy this week, in which dogs are allowed and human children are banned. What's our stance on all of that? We attempt to form a cogent thought.

We also discuss Lanachella, and whether or not its okay to be happy that "skinny Lana is back." As Ozempic users and believers, our two cents are worth a million cents.

And paying sisters: STAY TUNED in a few days for the debut of ON SECOND THOT, our xxxclusive bonus show that will now be a weekly staple in your current membership <3

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help fund Apple's oral health on Patreon.

Welcome back to central booking at Thot Topics Regional Penitentiary. All fines will be processed to the window on your left, and visitation will be found to your right. Oh, you're here for a conjugal visit? Right this way, ma'am...

This week, the girls convene on several matters of utmost importance-- sucking in your stomach, food safety, atomic habits, Joker 2, and so much more. We also do a quarter-year checkin on our most-streamed music: what's hot on the charts in our apartments and on TouchTunes? Much appreciation abounds for the arts.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Bail us out on Patreon.

We're BACK for a lovely special springtime episode. (But really, aren't they ALL special?) This is a girls chat of VITAL importance: we really put our thinking boobs on for this one!

We discuss everything on God's Green, from LESBIANS to DUNE 2 to what may be the FINAL DAYS OF THE TIKTOK TOP 50. Do you love the way we work it? HEY LADIESSS!!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Back it up and dump it on Patreon.

Hold onto your whorses because it's time for another riveting episode of THOT TOPICS! We're back after losing or breaking literally every single piece of recording equipment we owned and are ready to begin a new chapter of excellence in inbreastigative reporting.

This week, the girls discuss the Nickelodeon sex pest documentary QUIET ON SET and pick out a bra to throw on stage at The Wiggles On Ice. Then, they unpack Beyonce's new rootin'-tootin' country girl persona and forthcumming album COWBOY CARTER. Did black people invent country? Honest question we really don't know.

And last but not least, we talk about whether drag kings should be cast on Drag Race-- per the sage words of Naysha Lopez, the greatest showman.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Fight for what's right on Patreon.

Wooohoo... YEEEEEEEEEEhoo!!!!!

It's a leap year and you know what that means: there's one more day 'til the rent is due, pookie! Now, PUMP THE BEAT! First, we do a little bit of girly chitchat-- the weather was beautiful and the vibes were ERRATIC to say the least, so there was much to be discussed. What masculine traits are displayed in gay guys? Is there such thing as an Indian elephant? All will be revealed in the fullness of time.

Then, the main event: we comb through a master list of classic pop album covers and rank them on a scale from "galactic slay" (decided by the gay guy who made the TierMaker list) and GUTTER BOOTS! We share rare insights on Kesha, Carly Rae Jepsen, Cardelia B, and many more-- it's a classic Thot Topics romp. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Feel yummy head to toe on Patreon. 

Hey girl, can we circle back? To CRACK!?

Calling all micromanagers, office drones, and watercooler sisters-- we are taking it out of the workplace and into your face this week as we recap Nick's week from hell. The girls wallow in some warm and wet misery, but fear not-- we wore tankinis!

But it's not all doomington and gloomington sweetheart. It's Spotify Wrapped Day, so we do each of our Top 10 countdowns to share the biggest hits in our apartments this year. Kiss you miss you!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tcels. Put the in TOP in unemployment on Patreon.

These bitches fuck E V E R Y B O D Y

We're truly tickled to welcome back the talents of the one and only Zach Langley Chi Chi to the Thot Topics Plus Size Creators Regional Headquarters! We've called an emergency conference to discuss what is perhaps the year's most critical event: the release of Nicki Minaj's PINK FRIDAY 2.

This is the most in-depth coverage on the subject you're going to find anywhere, lovingly crafted by the industry's leading sexperts. Stick with your sisters, cuz in the end, it's JUST the memories...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC on Twitter. Spend another bag on our BODY on Patreon. 

Follow Zach on Twitter @asukahomo and subscribe to I'M SO POPULAR on Patreon. 

Right here silly! Welcome back to the hotline wing of the Thot Topics Megaplex, where we're convening to settle the nation's most pressing questions. We take voicemails from our beloved listeners-- women and gay guys and all in between-- and do our best to set them on the path to suckcess. And we've got some VERY interesting dilemmas this time around:

What's the easiest sport to learn about so you can be relatable to straight men? How do you control your anger when everyone is a goddamn faggot? Should situationships be avoided across the board? What's the best way to cope with the morning after being the drunkest person at the function? We wouldn't steer you wrong... would we??

TRY MAGIC MIND PRODUCTIVITY SHOTS WITH THE EXXXCLUSIVE THOT TOPICS CODE "TT20" AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKANDCRIS FOR 20% OFF ANY PURCHASE OR 56% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Join our party line on Patreon. 

THROW AN UNEMPLOYED HO A BONE AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS

Hey girl, can we circle back? To CRACK!?

Calling all micromanagers, office drones, and watercooler sisters-- we are taking it out of the workplace and into your face this week as we recap Nick's week from hell. The girls wallow in some warm and wet misery, but fear not-- we wore tankinis!

But it's not all doomington and gloomington sweetheart. It's Spotify Wrapped Day, so we do each of our Top 10 countdowns to share the biggest hits in our apartments this year. Kiss you miss you!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tcels. Put the in TOP in unemployment on Patreon. LAST CALL FOR THOTLINE VOICEMAILS AND TEXTS! (312) 772-2592.

We're BACK! And we came on this bitch mad as hell... things are changing in the Thot Topics Universe and it's NOT LOOKING GOOD, BITCH! After a little bit of career ranting and general sisterly catch-up, we segue into the hawtest topics of the week.

First, we diagnose the Tate McRae situation: is she the real megadiva servalicious giver? Or is it nothing more than a hair show?! Plus, how do you really *tell* if a pop star is a STAR or just some girl in a little outfit? Tinashe is discussed, buyer beware.

Secondly, we talk about Billie Eilish's claim that women don't care about guys' physical appearance and "accept them for who they are inside." As gay guys regularly invited into girls talks, we report from INSIDE THE HOUSE.

Last, we talk about TikTok zoomers discovering Osama Bin Laden's open letter to America and talk about whether we even *like* America-- and why... I know we said we wouldn't get political again but I felt called...

LADIES! CALL THE THOTLINE BEFORE DEC. 1ST WITH YOUR MOST PRESSING PERSONAL ISSUES, HOT TAKES, AND MORE! LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL OR TEXT US IF YOU MUST-- BUT WE'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR VOICE! (312) 772-2592. 

SUBSCRIBE TO THE $10 PATREON TIER OR ABOVE BEFORE DEC. 1 TO RECEIVE GLITTER STICKERS IN THE MAIL! MAKE SURE YOUR MAILING ADDRESS IS ON YOUR ACCOUNT AND TOGGLED TO SHARE WITH US.

SHOT GLASSES & PINT GLASSES ARE NOW AVAILABLE IN THE MERCH STORE! 

Buy yourself some Magic Mind with the exclusive sisterly discount! Go to magicmind.com/nickandcris and use the code TT20 for 20% off any single purchase or 56% off any subscription!

Pass the cranberry sauce and open wide cuz this ain't your mother's Thanksgiving hoe! We hope you left room for dessert! Oooooooh!

We're joined in the house of merry-making by returning guest and sista of the pod Morgan to discuss all things turkeylicious and festive. We recognize it's a little early but we were really in the Giving mood, okayyy?? 

We discuss our holiday wishlists, Dula Peep's new single, "Taylor's Version," the psychology of straight men wanting a finger in the ass, and sooo much more. Apologies for the weird audio quality on this one y'all, it'll be fixed next week!

Terminally yours,

Thot Topics

FOLLOW THE GIRLS ON TWITTER @VLRTUALBOY AND @YOURE2BASIC, and the official POD INSTA @TH0TSTARSXO. Get us a Christmas gift on Patreon. (Why the elephant gotta be WHITE?!)

We're back in the booth and better than ever-- as we enjoy some lovely iced cafecitos and prepare for a night out on the town, we turn to the good people at Billboard to take another look at the TikTok Top 50. A LOT has changed since our last check-in on the chart. Naturally, we do what we do best and take a delicate rectal thermometer to the culture and spoiler alert: IT'S HOT!

Naturally, that's not all: we reflect on Nicki MInaj's album rollout, how it feels to listen to old episodes of the pod several years onward, Harry Potter (?) and so much more... 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. 

USE PROMO CODE "TT20" AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKANDCRIS FOR 20% OFF ANY SINGLE PURCHASE, OR OVER 50% OFF OF A SUBSCRIPTION!

One Naysha Lopez, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all...

We're back after an accidental week off so we're giving the reins over to the girls at home to decide what absolutely NEEDS to be settled once and for all. We talk about The Pick-Me's Dilemma, Britney's memoir THE WOMAN IN ME, whether you would feel some type of way if your top made less money than you, Skims for Men, May December, Saltburn, and SOOOOO much more!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod insta @th0tcels. Join the battle to release us from our cuntserveatorship on Patreon. 

Bitches must be Jewish cuz they pockets israelite... We must be thinking outside the bun because we're living HaMás!

We heard there's a situation in the middle east. Not to worry-- we're on our way. Period. We attempt to explain what's going on in Gaza to the breast of our abilities. Can't promise it'll be cogent whatsoever but we have a lot of dumb gay guys to address! 

Naturally, that's not all: we take to the Thot Topics Discord and answer some listener questions. Frank Biden's nudes! Troye Sivan in dragz! Halloween costumes! Chicago gay bars! Many truths are revealed...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Stand UP for Thot Topics Rights on Patreon.  

This week, the girls have smeared coconut baby oil on their breasts to send a powerful message about consent. The message? It's simple: {motorboating noises}

We're back to discuss all the happenings of our precious young lives. From feeling immune to emotional music, to weight loss, to our inevitable 26th birthdays, we're feeling cuntemplative, heavy metal, and reflective. It's a soul-baring session for girls of all walks of life.

That's not all-- it's a big week for music and we talk about Doja's SCARLET, Slayyyter's STARFUCKER, and Kim's PROBLEMATIQUE. Plus, we talk about the guy covered in shit at Folsom. It's a roundup you WON'T want to miss!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Fuck our mouth with an egg roll on Patreon. 

PLUS!! WE'RE BACK ON INSTAGRAM FINALLY: @th0tstarsxo 

This is the hand that gives... and this is the hand that's taking it...

We're back and joined by the honorable Judge Sydney in the courtroom of the mind's eye, AKA the newly expanded Thot Topics Plus-Sized Creators Studio. There's MUCH to discuss and many beers to drink before we have to start our intermittent fast-- so let's get crackin'!

We talk about vaping, racist middle schoolers, Skai Jackson, Shane Dawson, Disney Channel Original Movies, and so much more. THEN, we launch into the main event: a discussion of Troye Sivan's single "RUSH" and the accompanying sexylicious gay guy music video. Does everyone have to be included in everything? What's the difference between being fat and being Fat™? Do artists owe you a spot in their world? LET'S CHAT!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Our Insta might be gone forever we're still waiting lol. Step Up 2 The Streets on Patreon. 

Follow Sydney on Twitter @SYDNEYJ0HNS0N.  

SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS

WELCUM 2 THE JUNGLE BABY!

To celebrate our 150th freakin' episode, we do a little bit of GORILLA podcasting and bring our white asses to the TRUE Ape Escape: The Rainforest Cafe! Swaddled in the lush acoustics of the jaguars, toucans, chimps and elephants, we do what we do best and share our truest feelings over some questionable cuisine.

We involved our sisters in the celebration by soliciting topics and questions from listeners like YOU! We give advice to a new stepmom, "prove that we're gay," and discuss the ideal homosexual nuptials. Trust us when we say that you DON'T want to miss this! Grab a banana and let's monkey around sis!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. The law of the jungle compels you to Patreon. 

THANK U GOD 4 ALL THIS POD

We're joined in the atrium of the Thot Topics Literary Institute & Creative Learning Center by novelist and good-time gal ALEX KAZEMI, author of the forthcoming New Millennium Boyz! Lots of spoilers ahead so listen with caution (and with your tits out!) 

We talk about pop music's middle class, the dying art of celebrity, the R-word, weird ketchup, huffing household products, men only capable of being "gay" around women, straight guys' desire to get right up on the edge of doing gay stuff, NMB easter eggs, bloghouse, the evils of social media, and sooooo much more. The Thot Topics brain trust expands beyond our wildest dreams.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.  

Email Alex at fanmail@alexkazemi.com and pre-order New Millennium Boyz, out September 12 2023.

THANK U GOD 4 ALL THIS POD

We're joined in the atrium of the Thot Topics Literary Institute & Creative Learning Center by novelist and good-time gal ALEX KAZEMI, author of the forthcoming New Millennium Boyz! Lots of spoilers ahead so listen with caution (and with your tits out!) 

We talk about pop music's middle class, the dying art of celebrity, the R-word, weird ketchup, huffing household products, men only capable of being "gay" around women, straight guys' desire to get right up on the edge of doing gay stuff, NMB easter eggs, bloghouse, the evils of social media, and sooooo much more. The Thot Topics brain trust expands beyond our wildest dreams.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.  

Email Alex at fanmail@alexkazemi.com and pre-order New Millennium Boyz, out September 12 2023.

Trust us when we say this one's worth the four dollars... 

We're back with a newly expanded soundboard and a newly inflated fucking RACK and we're ready to take in the news. Owww! First, we ask the audience some pertinent questions about Steamworks and do a little bit of oversharing as a group. Then, we turn to former president Barack "Misdemeanor" Obama and analyze new findings regarding his potential faggotry. All signs point to YAAAAS!

Then, we talk about Billy Porter. So that's that. Then we discuss whether Pearl's controversial pic was blackface or not: is it blackface to imitate the people who sometimes get accused of doing blackface? Is blackface all in the lips? We inbreastigate.

Last but certainly not least, we discuss Rob Anderson's controversial Instagram stories on the hierarchy of good gay sex. {37 year old gay man voice} Do closeted guys REALLY do it better!?! 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and drop us a dollar for our highly informative Billy Re-Porting on Patreon. 

Pardon Nick's weird gross sick voice, but we are back in the booth for an emergency transmission on all things big, huge, gargantuan, ginormous, and whaleish! We take Lizzo's accusers to task and address the haters head-on: would these "dancers" have a job without Lizzo? Does it sound kinda fun to eat a nana out the na-na? Should pop stars have HR coordinators? LET'S SETTLE THIS: SUMO STYLE!

THEN, we talk about Doja's new single and the difference between "the rap game" and "the pop game" and how far you can really get playing either one. Spoiler alert: you've got to be a little gay if you want to leave a mark on this world xo

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Put a banana in our god damn pussy on Patreon.  

Live from the top of the food pyramid, it's Thot Topics! We pregame for the Beyonce concert by once again talking about our inability to feed ourselves properly, but there's so much more TEXTURE to it this time.

We also review a big weekend of new music, from Ice Spice to Slayyyter to NewJeans to Britney. Join us in a few days for our super deluxe BARBIE review and RENAISSANCE TOUR recap!!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Still working on the gram. Mind your B on Patreon. 

SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS

This is the hand that gives... and this is the hand that's taking it...

We're back and joined by the honorable Judge Sydney in the courtroom of the mind's eye, AKA the newly expanded Thot Topics Plus-Sized Creators Studio. There's MUCH to discuss and many beers to drink before we have to start our intermittent fast-- so let's get crackin'!

We talk about vaping, racist middle schoolers, Skai Jackson, Shane Dawson, Disney Channel Original Movies, and so much more. THEN, we launch into the main event: a discussion of Troye Sivan's single "RUSH" and the accompanying sexylicious gay guy music video. Does everyone have to be included in everything? What's the difference between being fat and being Fat™? Do artists owe you a spot in their world? LET'S CHAT!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Our Insta might be gone forever we're still waiting lol. Step Up 2 The Streets on Patreon. 

Follow Sydney on Twitter @SYDNEYJ0HNS0N.  

Get in faggot we're going to Arby's!

This week, the girls convene unda da sea to discuss all things sub-marine and on dry land! For starters, we cover all the new music that's come out since we last had a girly little chitchat: Kim Petras's "debut album" FEED THE BEAST, the Barbie soundtrack, and quite a few more hits and misses. And that's not all: what the fuck is going on with Nicki Minaj? We investigate.

Then, it's time for serious journalism. We talk about the Titanic excursion gone wrong and everyone's little freakout on Twitter about it; Rina Sawayama's extremely powerful and necessary words against podcasting Nazi Matty Healy; and an update on the girls' most frivolous recent purchases.

This is a REALLY thick and juicy one, so get those gobblin' holes ready for a bite!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter and Instagram. Buy a bitch a classic roast beef on Patreon. 

Welcome to the jungle baby!!!

We're finally back in (monkey) business and ready to swing from tree to tree! This week, we come to you bearing a double-length episode that's all about FAME, CELEBRITY, STAR POWER, and FUN!! First, we review the new HBO series THE IDOL: is Lily-Rose Depp a good actress? Would that "I'm Just a Freak" song be a hit? Isn't it kind of gross to smoke a cig in the SAUNA? Things get heated...

Then, we execute a brutal and unforgiving tier list ranking the main pop performers of the last few decades-- designating them somewhere between MAJOR and FAT. We can't promise that feathers won't be ruffled, but true gay little monkeys will see the vision. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Plus, the official pod Twitter and Instagram. For more monkeying around, meet us in the canopy layer on Patreon.

We return to the booth with clear minds and open hearts, ready to do a little bit of Matty Healing. Love WINS!

This week, we have a big girls' cocktail powwow to discuss Taylor Swift's pivot to NAZISM after fraternizing with KNOWN PORN WATCHER The 1975's Matty Healy. What does this mean for Taylor? Is being a porn star empowering or degrading to these people? What are Inuit people? Nick gives Cris a crash course in Cum Town/Red Scare history.

Next, we discuss Kim Petras's Sports Illustrated cover and the rights of REAL(LY FAT) WOMEN across the globe. Trust the duchess, we address the drama head (and breasts) on!

Last but not least, we get into the core thesis of THE PARENT'S GUIDE TO PREVENTING HOMOSEXUALITY and put our own lives to the test-- theorizing what, if anything made us gay-- and what, if anything, could've stopped it.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTULABOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod meme page @th0tcels. Pay me reparations for being mean to me on Patreon. 

Could we be E for Extra Juicy, or I for Ignant?

Could we be S for Sexy, or N for... Nevermind

Could we be T for Titillating, or F for Fucked In The Head?

And last but not least, are we P for Precious, or J for umm.. Jewish? Not to MENTION a possibly Turbulent modifier to all that...

T for Tune In NOW for one of the most revealing episodes in our show's history. Also one of the loudest and drunkest, but you already knew that.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and step into our world on Instagram @th0tcels. Pay for some therapy on Patreon. (Disclaimer: It will 100% not go toward that.)

This week, we convene for a wine-drunk Girls' Summit and discuss everything that's on our sick and twisted minds. Honestly, what DON'T we cover? The difference between people who come out in high school vs college, the Super Mario Movie, this spring's new and very off vibe, being more famous than Bob the Drag Queen, being clockable, using hotness to get ahead in the world, PUSSY HOLE BY DJ NASTY, and SOOO much more. We get progressively more wasted and unintelligible so good luck!

Try our favorite productivity shot MAGIC MIND at magicmind.co/topics and use the promo code TOPICS20 for 20% off any purchase or 56% off any subscription!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official podstagram @th0tcels. Take us for a spin on Patreon.

Subscribe for full backdoor access. I mean backstage access. Or do I? 

Hey girl! Did you know that uhm. There's a tunnel under ocean boulevard??

Believe it or not we thought we were going to have time to talk about the TikTok ban and school shooters LOL! This week, we deliver the definitive two-hour-long deep dive into Lana Del Rey's new album. In a track by track evaluation, we assess the good, the bad, and the fugly: and deliver some takes that we really think you're gonna hate!

Hands on your knees, Angelina Jolies!! ]]> **PATRONS ONLY!!**

Subscribe for full backdoor access. I mean backstage access. Or do I? 

Hey girl! Did you know that uhm. There's a tunnel under ocean boulevard??

Believe it or not we thought we were going to have time to talk about the TikTok ban and school shooters LOL! This week, we deliver the definitive two-hour-long deep dive into Lana Del Rey's new album. In a track by track evaluation, we assess the good, the bad, and the fugly: and deliver some takes that we really think you're gonna hate!

Hands on your knees, Angelina Jolies!! ]]> Thot Topics true No 1211 131 full Oops! All Thots! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/oops-all-thots/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/oops-all-thots/#comments Mon, 20 Mar 2023 08:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/9c5a0f38-9a86-3a85-b053-3d334d99b21c MagicMind.Co/TOPICS and use the promo code TOPICS20 at checkout. 20% off a single purchase or 56% off a subscription!   Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official podstagram @th0tcels. Buy us a freakin' cocktail on Patreon. ]]> MagicMind.Co/TOPICS and use the promo code TOPICS20 at checkout. 20% off a single purchase or 56% off a subscription!   Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official podstagram @th0tcels. Buy us a freakin' cocktail on Patreon. ]]> Thot Topics true No 9298 130 full Gomorrahning America! (Preview) https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/gomorrahning-america-preview/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/gomorrahning-america-preview/#comments Fri, 10 Mar 2023 09:13:59 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/12525c21-57d2-34e8-9a8c-6be5df3c188e **PATRONS ONLY. SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL LENGTH EP!**

We just got HIV!!! WOOOOOO! Ayyy! The boy's a liarrrr! Oooh! The boy's a liarrrr! HEYYY!!! 

This week is all about sin: who's got it? Who wants it? Who's taking it out on consenting unconscious adults? Only one podcast has the answers. Following a brief State of the Podcast address, we get down to business.

First, we psychoanalyze the HIV Twink. Is it cool to have a yassified response to a diagnosis? Should HIV be treated like gonorrhea? Are certain people predisposed to HIV just by looking like that? You're guaranteed to think "Period" to yourself at the end of this segment, or your money back!

Then, we talk about Dr. Whale's theory of sex positivity ending date rape: would rape end if we made it okay for guys to pay women to drug themselves and get fucked unconscious? LOOOOOOL.........

Anyway, we bullshit and tell the girls a little bit about our weekend plans, Sydney Sweeney, animals' capacity for love, and SOOOO much more. XO sisters!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and our joyful meme page @th0tcels. Make an undetectable blood pact with us on Patreon. 

Naturally that's not all: we discuss the pathetic state of everyday mens' fashion, the Chicago mayoral race (including a heartfelt tribute to our muppet queen Lori Lightfoot), and how to say various cuss words in sign language.

We give Kali Uchis and rightwing bodybuilder Twitter a piece of our mind too. Is it evil to drink liquor and should everyone stop doing it? Is it gay to have a ripped fizeek? Are muscle tee brands making the kids ghey? TUNE IN and find out...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the pod meme page @th0tcels. Contribute a generous pledge in our bid for city hall on Patreon. 

We know we left you ladies hanging last week so this week we're unleashing a double-wide super-soaked hot-and-horny God-fearing two part special. We've accepted a truly prime list of topic suggestions from our listeners and get to the emotional heart of whatever mentally ill behavior went down online the last few weeks.

The first chapter is free for all, but if you want the FULL tea, you'll have to join the Thot Topics sisterhood officially with a little Patreon action. The second hour of the show is waiting for you BEYOND THE PAYWALL! 

We chat: the job hunt, A&W, Caroline Polachek, Chinese people eating animals while they're still moving, raising children, gay monogamy (I know, I know), Angela Bassett doing the thing, Salina EsTitties, and SO much more. I can't even begin to describe how much ground we cover.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official podstagram @th0tcels. Humble yourself in Jesus's name on Patreon. 

But that's not all: we christen Cris's new apartment and talk gnocchi, firemen, sniffing snuff, specialty donuts and OF COURSE...

MAGIC MIND! For the next ten days, use our promo code TOPICS20 over at MAGICMIND.CO/TOPICS for 56% off a full supply of Magic Mind nootropic productivity shotz ]]> It was a slow news week so we decide to take the cultural temperature-- by performing an in-depth review of the current Top 15 on the Billboard Hot 100. What does the presence of Bebe Rexha mean for America? Is Miley Cyrus "Flowers" astroturfed or do people really like this shit? Does mummy know that daddy's getting hot at the bodyshop? ALL is revealed.

But that's not all: we christen Cris's new apartment and talk gnocchi, firemen, sniffing snuff, specialty donuts and OF COURSE...

MAGIC MIND! For the next ten days, use our promo code TOPICS20 over at MAGICMIND.CO/TOPICS for 56% off a full supply of Magic Mind nootropic productivity shotz ]]> Thot Topics true No 5342 124 full Statutory Grape! (Preview) https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/statutory-grape-preview/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/statutory-grape-preview/#comments Fri, 27 Jan 2023 08:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/ec04c723-b43b-39ac-84b2-4fc887d12ba8 PATRONS ONLY! You wouldn't get it.

Subscribe on Patreon for the rest of the episode.

In our iciest and spiciest episode yet, we hold a bookkeeping powwow ahead of tax season: why didn't anyone tell us we were supposed to set aside money from the Patreon to give to the government? It's not like JOE BIDEN stuck out his fucking NECK to tell the truth about Tinashe...

With the chips stacked and the coins counted, we turn to the news in Gay Guy World. First, we review the new Kim Petras single "Brrr," along with the debut EP from Ice Spice. Is the Ice Spice hate train just around the bend, or can we bask in her Bob Ross hair a little longer? Time will tell, but WE will tell first...

Then, we discuss Azealia's catastrophic departure from Parlophone Records after being signed for only a month and releasing zero music. We play a little bit of Gay&R and plot Azealia's ideal career path.

Last but certainly not least, we talk about "mascara," "grape," "unalive," and the other silly goofy words to cover up Serious Traumatic Triggering Topics on TikTok. Divulging personal trauma online! Julia Fox! Seeking attention! Elaborate lies! It's truly salacious.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the pod meme page on Instagram @th0tcels. Free us from the bonds of the IRS on Patreon. 

In this double-wide spectacular, we let out a lot of extremely complicated, unique, and sexy emotions:

RAGE: We talk about the unjust cancellation of Betsey Brown's Actors screening at the Music Box Theatre, and psychoanalyze our haters.

ENNUI: If your parents raised you to love fast food is it ever possible to learn portion control?

REGRESSION: Are children's movies like PUSS IN BOOTS and its "highly realistic cat panic attack" actually designed for children? Or stunted adults?

FEELING MEOW TO THE PUSSYCAT-CUNT: Is Kim Petras making a mockery of SOPHIE's legacy by making music that kind of sounds like her?

All is revealed, and all the certifiably perfect answers are sponsored our friends at MAGIC MIND. Hit magicmind.co/topics and use the promo code TOPICS20 to get 20% off your first purchase of the OFISHAL productivity drink of this episode. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the pod meme page @th0tcels. Put our puss in boots on Patreon. 

In our inaugural episode of the Year of the Rabbit, we get little crazy and Asian up in here! It's RICH! 

First, we have a little bit of much-needed girl time: Nick tells the story of his engaygement, and Cris recounts his trip to the Camein Guylands. Plus, we discuss Apple's behavioral issues, and not caring about the environment.

But that's not all: we give our first impressions of the "lovely ladies" of Season 15 of Drag Race (it takes longer than we intend but we really go deep.) Plus, we review the holder of the new diva crown M3GAN (Spoilers beware but it's a dumb movie lol you really should already know how it ends...) 

AND!!! We talk about Gwen Stefani's totally valid Japanese heritage and Lizzo's claim that cancel culture is cultural appropriation. I think this is a really optimistic hour and a half!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the pod meme page @th0tcels on Instagram. Take a chance you stupid ho on Patreon.

In our final episode of 2022 we take the crisis calls of our beloved, deeply troubled listeners. Talk about a therapy sesh! Let us in those ears mama!

We talk about getting over your fear of gay men, how to date when it seems like all gay guys are libtards, giving up on monogamy, dropping the R word in the workplace, and SO much more. Cheers to the new yearz baby!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and our perfect meme page @th0tcels. Subscribe on Patreon for even MORE Thotline action tomorrow night!!

Things get a little spicy this week and the spice in question is Sporty! From deep within the pussy part of the Venn Diagram between straight men and gay men, we talk about what separates us and what unites us. Sports! Sleep patterns! Being goofy and silly! And so much more.

In light of the midterm elections in Illinois, we also talk about which women we would show up to the polls for if they were running for President. What say the girls on Oprah? Gwyneth Paltrow? Lena Dunham? Anchors aweigh, girls.

It was a slow news week so most of the episode is dedicated to a girly little catch-up chitchat. Step into the breast buddy simulator and let's get cookin!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, plus the official pod Twitter and Instagram. Pass us the ball, we're open on Patreon.

Alright, it's another patrons-only one this week-- not because we don't value ALL our sisters equally but we get pretty drunk during this one and name drop a lot of people we went to high school with so we've gotta put this one in jail.

We're joined in the stu' by friend of the pod MORGAN for our scathing assessment of Taylor Swift's new steaming slop pile. We reach inside and pull out the TRUTH! But baby you know that's not all-- we also talk about Billie Eilish's boyfriend, get to the bottom of the female (and gay) urge to date older guys, and put the GROOMING allegations to bed once and for all. Plus, we ask Morgan: have we ever said anything about women that would make women think we're retarded?

All this and MORE behind the paywall...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tcels. Swiftly give us four dollars on Patreon.

But naturally that's not all. During the 40 minute long preshow (lol) we discuss Nick's vaccination tweet and FOLLOW YOUR GUT NO MATTER WHAT 2023. Not only that: we do a state of the union address on gay people and wonder why looking at another gay person (and hating him) is a lot like looking in the FREAKIN mirror!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Instagram @th0tcels. Put us in a movie on Patreon.

**PREVIEW ONLY ON THE MAIN FEED. FULL EP FOR PATRONS!**

We've just completed negotiations to be Lena Dunham's pallbearers when the horrible day inevitably comes, but in the meantime we've convened for a high-intensity GIRLS CHAT! This week, we pull a Jeffrey Dahmer and gobble up the news! Yum yum yum!

First, we talk about the obsession with true crime and why "real" violence just isn't cutting it anymore-- IS it healthy to spend all your free time listening to podcasts about people being brutalized? We hazard a guess...

But it's not all doom and gloom baby. We also pick apart Kim Petras scoring her first Top 5 hit in the US, Billy Eichner's new movie BROS flopping, and what makes straight people want to show up for movies about gays. Naturally we flap our gums in other directions too-- but you'll have to tune in to find out where they blow!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Podstagram @th0tcels. Help Nick rent a movie theater on Patreon. This episode is free, but the next one won't be! Join the sisterhood NOW!

To give, or not to give: THAT is the question. Wanna know our answer bitch?

We're back to cracktion and ready for the first episode following the fall shequinox. And you know what that means: no more hearing my loud A/C unit in the back of every episode! LOL. YAY!!!

This week, we catch up as sisters for a good while, mostly to psychoanalyze Cris and his recurring The Biggest Loser dream. But that's not all: we kind of review Bjork's new single ATOPOS and talk about how music starts being all about function when you get to be OLD like us (early twenties). PLUS: we have a question for the audience regarding weight room etiquette.

Then, we review Sam Smith and Kim Petras's collab track UNHOLY. Ohhhh my God. Oh my God. Fuck no dude. HELL no. We also talk about Nick's Rina Sawayama review getting rejected for being too "misogynist." And THEN we talk a bit about Adam Levine's filthy little white boy sexts. Spoiler alert but we think it's kind of precious! It's a classic Thot Topics romp, we think you'll enjoy ]]> **PATRONS ONLY EPISODE**

To give, or not to give: THAT is the question. Wanna know our answer bitch?

We're back to cracktion and ready for the first episode following the fall shequinox. And you know what that means: no more hearing my loud A/C unit in the back of every episode! LOL. YAY!!!

This week, we catch up as sisters for a good while, mostly to psychoanalyze Cris and his recurring The Biggest Loser dream. But that's not all: we kind of review Bjork's new single ATOPOS and talk about how music starts being all about function when you get to be OLD like us (early twenties). PLUS: we have a question for the audience regarding weight room etiquette.

Then, we review Sam Smith and Kim Petras's collab track UNHOLY. Ohhhh my God. Oh my God. Fuck no dude. HELL no. We also talk about Nick's Rina Sawayama review getting rejected for being too "misogynist." And THEN we talk a bit about Adam Levine's filthy little white boy sexts. Spoiler alert but we think it's kind of precious! It's a classic Thot Topics romp, we think you'll enjoy ]]> Thot Topics true No 665 111 full Hold the Girls! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/thot-for-teacher/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/thot-for-teacher/#comments Sat, 17 Sep 2022 09:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/b7290cc8-4e96-3872-82f8-cc07acae90ef @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the Thot Topics Fanclub Instagram @th0tcels. Hold our girls on Patreon. ]]> @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the Thot Topics Fanclub Instagram @th0tcels. Hold our girls on Patreon. ]]> Thot Topics true No 5436 110 full Fergalicious Debt! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/fergalicious-debt/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/fergalicious-debt/#comments Fri, 02 Sep 2022 09:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/fbb21c54-4efa-3421-9985-b2501353ba45 @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Keep the thotfest going on Instagram @th0tcels. Fund our trip to the cat show on Patreon. ]]> @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Keep the thotfest going on Instagram @th0tcels. Fund our trip to the cat show on Patreon. ]]> Thot Topics true No 6027 108 full Wuthering Rights! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/wuthering-rights/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/wuthering-rights/#comments Fri, 19 Aug 2022 09:38:23 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/1e4bdd75-d248-3bbd-a5cb-5d51b69f26b0 NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THIS!!!

We're baby got BACK and this week we're SETTLING IT. ONCE AND FOR ALL! We go through the annoying Twitter thread of the week wherein one GAY user asks: "What in the LGBT community do we need to talk about more??" 

If you immediately thought "nothing" then this is the episode for you. We settle the age-old debates of homosexuality, from the right people not wanting to fuck you, to "queer spaces that don't involve alcohol or sex." 

Now there's NO NEED to talk about any of this stuff anymore! We figured it all out!

Of course that's not all: we review Super Freaky Girl, talk about Nick's weed journey, the misery of The Job Search, and MORE! Get you a towel, it's so wet in our Jacuzzi!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Follow our new shitposting Instagram @th0tcels. Get us to our 300-sister goal on Patreon!

Covid may be able to keep us apart but it CAN'T extinguish our spirit, and this episode is just as sassy and girly as ever. While Nick repeatedly hacks up a lung on the air, we cover a LOT of ground. Nick's trip to the deep south inspires us to ask: is homophobia real? Is being a libtard an appropriate response to being gay? Is Memphis the worst city in the country? Much is discussed, and Nick reveals the present he bought for Cris in New Orleans.

Then, it's business as usual. We review the new Carly Rae Jepsen single "Beach House" and the woman Carly Rae Jepsen overall. Then, we talk about Kim Petras's leaked album and what's so fucked up about manufacturing a "moment." Last, we talk about Themi Lovato returning to plain old Demi-- and what that means for the pronoun community at large.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. See this cute whale on the beach on Patreon.

Pollen: It's the Reason for the Sneazin'!

We're back, and not a moment too late! This week, the girls have a therapeutic venting sesh over life's greatest quandaries-- whether tis nobler in the mind to have a gay coworker, or to wish you were an owl who was still allowed in Great American Bagel. Plus-- is the only way to regain our online privacy to constantly lie? There's more but I honestly can't remember. Drain gang!

THEN, we discuss the picture seen 'round the world-- Lana Del Rey and her new boyfie Jack Donoghue. We judge the photo's artistic merits, but wind up going on a really long rant about twinks-- maybe the most definitive thing anyone's ever said about twinks and why they'll never understand Lana. 

Lastly, we try to discuss Christian Walker and Kehlani fighting in the Starbucks line and wind up discussing Grindr and the Gay Coomer Mindset. In the business, that's what they call a MISDIRECT. We feel you'll enjoy.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Rally against the free folk on Patreon. 

I really thought we'd gotten all the rage out on the last solo episode but apparently not! This week, gay guys really gave us a LOT to chew on and boy did it taste like SHIT! After a little bit of girly chitchat on the job market, we dive right into our review of Hulu's new gay "rom-com" FIRE ISLAND. Should Fire Island people stay there forever? Is continuing to fuck randos a satisfying end to a love story? Is it better to be a huge whale than a guy with a normal BMI in the gay world? We SETTLE IT.

Then, a few other faggot ass issues on the docket. First, the Postmates Pride Month "Bottom Menu" and how to have anal sex in a way that serves God. PLUS, Drag Queens v. The State of Texas-- can kids be around drag queens without becoming trans? Find out, and maybe just find yourself, this week on THOT TOPICS!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Get us something off the bottom menu on Patreon.

Cris is sick so we couldn't record an episode this week, but we'll be back on schedule this week including the new THOTLINE episode!! In the meantime, here's an offering from the VAULT to tide you over in the meantime.

This land is. WHAT? This land is. WHO? This land is. OUUURR LAND

We're back in the Gay Little Monkey Jungle swinging from tree to tree with a couple of skinny little apes: Sam and Gian of the defunct but never de-spunked TWINK REVOLUTION. Given the current national climate we thought it was the perfect time to really take a step back and evaluate the state of the Jewnion. Where's the dead weight? How can we cut out the fat? How can we expect to thrive when we keep inviting D-listers? It's time to revolutionize. Welcome to Thottopica baby.

We cover ALL fifty states from sea to shining sea and decide whether it should stay, have its population euthanized but its landscape preserved, or whether it should be blown to got damn smithereens! Look at the material...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Reminder that you'll get a weekly premium episode all through May if you sub!

Follow FKA Twink Rev on Twitter @RevGiant and @TwinkRevSam. And don't miss their cum-back episode featuring yours truly next week ]]> **PATREON EXCLUSIVE UNLOCKED**

Cris is sick so we couldn't record an episode this week, but we'll be back on schedule this week including the new THOTLINE episode!! In the meantime, here's an offering from the VAULT to tide you over in the meantime.

This land is. WHAT? This land is. WHO? This land is. OUUURR LAND

We're back in the Gay Little Monkey Jungle swinging from tree to tree with a couple of skinny little apes: Sam and Gian of the defunct but never de-spunked TWINK REVOLUTION. Given the current national climate we thought it was the perfect time to really take a step back and evaluate the state of the Jewnion. Where's the dead weight? How can we cut out the fat? How can we expect to thrive when we keep inviting D-listers? It's time to revolutionize. Welcome to Thottopica baby.

We cover ALL fifty states from sea to shining sea and decide whether it should stay, have its population euthanized but its landscape preserved, or whether it should be blown to got damn smithereens! Look at the material...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Reminder that you'll get a weekly premium episode all through May if you sub!

Follow FKA Twink Rev on Twitter @RevGiant and @TwinkRevSam. And don't miss their cum-back episode featuring yours truly next week ]]> thottopics true No 5644 full Ketayours, Ketamine, and Ketaours! (feat. Sydney) https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/ketayours-ketamine-and-ketaours-feat-syndey/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/ketayours-ketamine-and-ketaours-feat-syndey/#comments Thu, 19 May 2022 09:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/d62beb9e-0567-3fbe-9fe4-a6bdf6c8e28c WOMAN MOMENT!! Thot Topics history is made once again as we invite the second woman in nearly 100 episodes into the Women's Business Lounge-- beloved friend of the pod, the gorgeous SYDNEY! And you're in for a real treat because nothing enables us to fag out more than being in a girl's apartment. This episode also features a lot of feline mischief in the background-- meOW!

We perform a wellness check on the culture as we approach the halfway mark of 2022-- we review our In/Out list for 2022 and see how accurate we were. Are the "in" things actually in, or is there still work left to be done? Are the "out" things actually out, or do you people need to get your shit together? Much is discussed, much is resolved, and if you don't leave this episode feeling centered then there's not much hope for you!

In addition, we settle some feelings about Party Girl Bisexuality, the superiority of the Devil's Threesome, girlfriends performing lesbian urges to express hatred for their boyfriends, and MORE as we pregame for the Slayyyter show. It's THAT level of female-homosexual unity.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Buy us a round on Patreon.

Follow Sydney on Twitter and on Insta. 

We tried so hard to come up with something to talk about today and every time we attempted to start a topic it seemed really stupid and gay so we decided to throw caution to the wind and let our fuckin' freak flags fly! Over an HOUR of no topics, no structure, no effort, just pussyliciousness. Maybe if this episode was for PATRONS we'd give more of a FUCK! We literally talk about NOTHING!

But in a way, what DON'T we talk about? Fat rights, Marsha P Johnson, Blu-Ray technology, bearface, ephebophilia, receding hairlines, Dr Pepper Dark Berry, hungry demons, police brutality, high school, vaping, bat wings, drinking at work, the death knell of mirror pics, Auto-Tune... and MORE! If that's nothing, then I'm not a size 36 waist!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. 

Stimulate our senses on Patreon.

Not to alarm anybody but I think this might be the best take on the Don't Say Gay bill that anyone has ever had on the entire planet? We have a docket of three topics but literally get so distracted talking about pussy and afterbirth and rollercoasters that we only manage to get to one. But honestly I think you'll see the Homosexual Question in a whole new light...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Say hay gurl gay on Patreon.

Biiii like an eagle... To the seaaaaaa

Happy Sheaster! We're back! We know we shouldn't have kept you waiting...  but we're here now. Playtime is officially OVER and we're back to tackle the world's biggest issues: you guessed it. Whether it's worse to have a cheating man or a bisexual man. TRUST US, it's settled. OFFICIALLY!

But that's not all, we put on our queer theory hats and figure out why it's OK to be a bi woman but not to be a bi man. (Honestly I've never heard an answer like ours before and honestly I think it's right?) THEN, we talk about whether normalizing homosexuality has led to the breakdown of society. And break it down we do!

We also chat the Grammys, Slut Pop, whether you get fatter or disappear if you eat yourself, and MORE! We did an extra long episode to make up for our absence ]]> And baby there AIN'T NO MOUNTAIN BIIIII ENOUGH. AIN'T NO VALLEY LOWWW ENOUGH. AIN'T NO RIVER WIIIIDE ENOUGH

Biiii like an eagle... To the seaaaaaa

Happy Sheaster! We're back! We know we shouldn't have kept you waiting...  but we're here now. Playtime is officially OVER and we're back to tackle the world's biggest issues: you guessed it. Whether it's worse to have a cheating man or a bisexual man. TRUST US, it's settled. OFFICIALLY!

But that's not all, we put on our queer theory hats and figure out why it's OK to be a bi woman but not to be a bi man. (Honestly I've never heard an answer like ours before and honestly I think it's right?) THEN, we talk about whether normalizing homosexuality has led to the breakdown of society. And break it down we do!

We also chat the Grammys, Slut Pop, whether you get fatter or disappear if you eat yourself, and MORE! We did an extra long episode to make up for our absence ]]> thottopics true No 6799 92 full Gay Little Monkey Hour #2: INTERIOR DELUSIONS LOUNGE ft. TUCKER WILDE (Preview) https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/gay-little-monkey-hour-2-interior-delusions-lounge-ft-tucker-wilde-preview/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/gay-little-monkey-hour-2-interior-delusions-lounge-ft-tucker-wilde-preview/#comments Fri, 01 Apr 2022 09:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/7e9cc868-0dd5-373f-84a4-682b09ab3559 GET OUR MONEY UP ON PATREON BITCH.   Well, this one's a bit of a buzzer-beater (Basketball reference, teehee!) but we TOLD you we'd get you one premium episode per month!! This week, we're setting aside our SWERF tendencies and embracing our new bestie TUCKER WILDE, Dallas's premiere bona fide gay porno starlet! It's a sexy little pillow fight you DON'T want to miss.    This month's game involves us doing our absolute best to rank the Drag Race girls of history-- we do a lot of them but God it was hard not to get distracted. We talk about the secrets of OnlyFans, therapy, cooking food at work, and PIGLET makes her worldwide debut on the podcasting stage. It's a thrilling jaunt through the human spirit.    Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.    Follow Tucker Wilde on Twitter and pay a hoe on his OnlyFans! ]]> GET OUR MONEY UP ON PATREON BITCH.   Well, this one's a bit of a buzzer-beater (Basketball reference, teehee!) but we TOLD you we'd get you one premium episode per month!! This week, we're setting aside our SWERF tendencies and embracing our new bestie TUCKER WILDE, Dallas's premiere bona fide gay porno starlet! It's a sexy little pillow fight you DON'T want to miss.    This month's game involves us doing our absolute best to rank the Drag Race girls of history-- we do a lot of them but God it was hard not to get distracted. We talk about the secrets of OnlyFans, therapy, cooking food at work, and PIGLET makes her worldwide debut on the podcasting stage. It's a thrilling jaunt through the human spirit.    Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.    Follow Tucker Wilde on Twitter and pay a hoe on his OnlyFans! ]]> thottopics true No 126 full Encunto! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/encunto/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/encunto/#comments Mon, 28 Mar 2022 09:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/b9281619-caca-3c5e-b371-c8b856752dc5 Lin Manuel Miranda presents the premiere Thot Topics musical event of the season, ENCUNTO, a journey through the latinx heart and a touching story for the whole family about the power of love, community, and apple cherry coochie clit.

We're back! And not a moment too late. First, we perform a wellness check on one another-- taking stock of our respective fitness journeys before taking a look at Nick's expense report from the past month. PLUS, we provide our very first on-air recipe. It's disgusting and you will love it!

Then, it's business time. We chat about the Oscars for way longer than we planned to-- "reviewing" the Best Picture contenders takes up most of it (we have only seen one of them) but there's also some... impassioned... discussion of Encanto.

Then, we review Lizzo's new fat girl dance show, WATCH OUT FOR THE BIG GRRRLS, a show where various women do a split and then promptly need a knee brace. Somehow we start talking about how much we hate gay guys? It's kind of a "Yes, and" episode to be honest...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Watch out for the big gurls on Patreon. 

It's impossible to summarize just how important the content of this episode is. It's basically the fucking State of the Union address. We bond as new besties, dish on Slayyyter's highly decorated career, and talk Shamrock Shakes, masks, getting noise complaints, lip filler, and MORE.

But that's not all-- this is a good old fashioned Thot Topics episode too. We rail fat lines of the Linkedin pill and discuss Mitski asking people to stop using their phones so much at her shows. We settle every question imaginable: if no one's filming, how can you know if you're sexy? What if Beyonce said no phones? Are pop stars your little wage slaves? ALL is revealed.

Then, we establish firm guidelines for male fashion-- both for straight men and for gay "men." Is it ever appropriate for a man to wear a stretchy Chelsea boot? What's with gay guys wanting to wear fetish gear over normal outfits? We settle it once and for all. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Eat our fish like Nobu on Patreon.

Follow Slayyyter on Twitter and Instagram. Stream her new album TROUBLED PARADISE and go see her on tour this summer. (We'll be there babe!)

We return for the first episode of SHAMROCK SHAKE SEASON to have the Thot Topics Barbara Walters Power Hour with stars, siblings, movers, shakers, and now canon members of the Thot Topics Universe-- BETSEY MUTHAFUCKIN BROWN and PETER GODDAMN VACK. We dive deep into Betsey's feature film debut "ACTORS" mere days before its theater debut. We've got it like that, babe. We talk breasts, babies, brothers, channeling the puss-factor, and getting too close to home IN YOUR OWN HOME!  Be warned that this episode does contain spoilers for the movie so proceed with caution...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. 

Follow Betsey on Instagram and Twitter.

Follow Peter on Instagram. 

For the girls who like homework...

Watch ASSHOLES (2017) and THE SCARY OF SIXTY FIRST (2021) 

I decided only to release the good-sounding stuff on the free feed. Have you ever wanted to pay for something and have it be worse? Well have I got news for you... 

The girls chat about the time Nick got heart surgery, recount all of their high school homecomings, and reveal what senior superlatives we were awarded. THEN, we get into some actual topics: first, we give our impressions of the girls on Season 14 (ugh) of Drag Race (UGHHHH). THEN, we discuss today's Twitter dogpile: does platonically kissing (or... doing other things) with your friends mean you have no boundaries? It's a real window to the past, this one...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Tip-a-hoe on Patreon. 

This week, we're joined by return guest RIVER PAGE (@river_is_nice) to discuss the news of the moment, and of some moments we missed. First, we finally review Blue Bannisters and wind up shitting on it way more than we expected to. Then: are we embarrassed to be gay? Do gay guys have any political interests other than making sure everyone wants to fuck them? Lastly, we recap Astroworld and get to the ninth circle of the Satanic panic theories swirling around it. It's DELISH!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Bring back my pig on Patreon.

Follow River @river_is_nice and subscribe to his amazing Substack. 

This week, the girls get a little sidetracked talking about their personal journeys as their dreaded first-ever mid-twenties birthday approaches. What's acceptable to do in your twenties that must now be left behind? Is "weight loss" an elaborate lie constructed by deluded skinny people with genetics on their side? 

But then it's down to business: we, like, KIND OF review the new Adele single but mostly review her face. Then, we talk about Demi Lovato's declaration that "alien" is a derogatory term for the extra-terrestrial, and whether or not "right wing" artists are capable of creating good art. These points are all mostly a thematic backdrop for us to talk about ourselves: have we ever had a supernatural experience? What's scarier: the ocean, or space? Can anyone help me squeeze my freakin' boobs into this top!?! ALL is revealed.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Can you help us find the love? We think we lost it somewhere on Patreon.

This week, we talk about Meghan Trainor taking a shit adjacent to her husband-- and do an exposé on our own horror about bodily functions. What's the most compromising position it's OK for your partner to see you in? Is it *ever* okay to shit in the company of others? Should we de-normalize shitting?

Plus, we talk about the controversial Pitchfork rescores and the state of music criticism. And that's NOT all, if you can freakin' believe it-- we also talk about the rising phenomenon of gay guys wanting to protect the sanctity of butt sex-- by taking aim at the elusive trans gay guy. How do so many gay guys exist that don't have a place in functional society? What entitles someone to claim being a man? Is *dick* what makes people gay? 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Send us to psychoanalysis for our shit fear on Patreon.

It was a slow news week so the girls usher in October with a little bit of sisterly competition-- a definitive tier ranking of the female pop albums of the 2010's. This is our bread and fucking butter right here, so you DON'T want to miss it. We rank the girls of yesteryear based on quality, impact, and the Thot Topics "it" factor: namely, whether or not we can confidently say they "tore."

Patrons have access to watch along via screen recording. Subscribe now!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.

We're joined by the elegant, demure, emotionally complicated and tantalizing G Rock and Crypto Psi of the Rare Candy podcast for a riveting roundtable of global proportions. We discuss Tan France's new baby and whether or not there needs to be a mom; the UN's climate change red alert and being haunted by your litter like in the Campbell's soup commercial; and lastly, a crash course in hyperpop as Charli XCX warns of its end. We use Glen Rockney's palette as the ultimate taste test-- who transcends the boundaries of niche gay club songs, and who fails? We talk Ayesha Erotica, Charli herself, Slayyyter, SOPHIE, 100 gecs and GFOTY. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Follow the Rare Candy Boys and listen to Rare muthafuckin' Candy. Find our beach on Patreon.

Welcome back to our Barbie Dream House of cosmic justice to all little thotties and recent converts. We welcome you with open, warm, and supple bosom to take a look back at all things gay-as-in-stupid online this week. We're sorry we took a little break, but we explain our brief sabbatical in extensive detail. Now take your bra off, throw on a nightgown, and grab a pillow-- it's about to get naughty!!

This week, we discuss the gay equivalent of storming the beach at Normandy, AKA the death of fleets on Twitter; DaBaby's totally valid and possibly even true feelings on gay men with AIDS; Lil Nas X's beautiful dark twisted prison shower fantasy; whether Jack Harlow is hot; and finally provide a definitive list of who is and who is not allowed to say "the f-slur." It's chock full of flavor-- take a BIG, DECADENT, SINFUL bite, and then spit it out. Every calorie counts!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Help us financially recover from Matt Damon's abuses on Patreon. 

Peppa who? Pig girl. We're back with a vengeance to review the dreaded Gossip Girl reboot, and it's a boot indeed. We answer all the burning questions: Can you make a good TV drama that revolves around iPhones? Is this literally just The Shade Room? Is it actually better to cast horny teens that are actually teens? ALL is revealed.

Plus, we illegally enter the White House rose garden to confront Olivia Rodrigo over her "collab" with Joe Biden. We discuss whether we regret being vaccinated, but are soon sidetracked by all the times that we have lied to Uber drivers.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make us the newest members of Manhattan's elite on Patreon.

It's not too late to buy merch! We had to jack up the prices a little bit because of supply shortages but we promise we'll get everything to you ASAP. 

The Thot Topics e-lounge was starting to collect dust so we decided to shake out the curtains and let in the LIGHT, better known as beloved Twitter gay and friend of the pod MYLES for an excruciatingly thorough girls chat of Byzantine proportions. 

First, we unpack feeling gaslit by the Azealia Banks comeback single "Fuck Him All Night." THEN, we discuss the CDC warning on poppers and the subsequent faggot panic: Nick unveils some childhood trauma and the girls settle the great Poppers debate once and for all in the process. Last but not least, we take on QUEERBAITING (!!!) Can women even do it? What makes men do it besides weird exhibitionist kinks? ALL is revealed-- especially our breasts.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Donate to the American Poppers Lobby on Patreon.

Follow the lovely and kindhearted Myles @yourfriendmyles.

We took a little break, but now it's back to us. The docket is long. The docket is thick. The docket will not be important in three days. GET IT WHILE IT'S HOT. After a riveting discussion of our teenage employment histories, we launch into the nitty-gritty: first, the IKEA pride couches. Which one would be the most comfortable for a nap? Which niche gender has the best style? What would the gay guy couch REALLY look like?

Then, we take a firm stance on the Delta Variant (known to the medical community as the Derrick Barryant), Freeing Britney, and Lil Nas X's Egyptacular gay performance. 

OUR SUMMER MERCH LINE IS OUT!! Cop you a piece right now at thottopics.bigcartel.com. Use promo code BIGKAHUNA for a free I ❤️ Bussy wristband with the order of any T-shirt. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Help us buy a sound effects machine on Patreon.

The girls are joined in the Thot Topics plus-size creators headquarters by the one and only It Gay on Twitter, TikTok and beyond, Will Tanski! We clear the floor and allow him to clear his name over multiple CRISP cans of Zest Tea. What makes people online want to punish hot and fun people? What's so wrong about bringing man-titties to the game of opera? Does he REALLY not work out? ALL is revealed.

Then, we take on a thread of Crazy Gay Guy Greatest Hits-- the official canon of insane "problematic" gay Twitter takes. We get to the root of the issue and decide once and for all-- do they belong in jail, or did they have a point? We hit all the big gay classics: Age gaps! Fucking at pride! Virtue signaling! Being fat! Someone should put us in charge of something, honestly.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Say "Gay RIGHTS!" once and for all on Patreon.

Follow Will on Twitter @willtanski and Instagram @wjtanski. 

It was a busy week for music so we run (it's really more of a brisk jog) down the list of the most hyped releases of the week with no sports bra on. (Look out, you're in the splash zone!) We REDUCE Nicki Minaj's "Fractions," LIGHT UP Katy Perry's Pokemon movie theme "Electric," HUMILIATE Olivia Rodrigo, and say some nice things about Billie Eillish. It's a good time.

Then, we brace ourselves for the imminent reboot of Gossip Girl, and its showrunner's promise that the new version will feature no slut-shaming, fat-shaming or physical fights. Okay babe...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make us start seein' green on Patreon.

Read Nick's interview with Slayyyter in PopMatters.

The dolls are joined in the Jacuzzi of the Spirit by the inimitable pop starlet MISS MADELINE for an in-depth discush of all things bubblegum-flavored, champagne-soaked, and bikini-clad. It's truly a girls' chat for the books. After getting our gay little fangirling out of the way, we get down to business: Does art lie beyond cringe? How do you take a stand for artistry in the face of TikTok gimmicks? Is the bimboification trend a return to female instincts? Can a human being alive name a single winner of The Voice? If Y2K aesthetics are over, what's next? ALL is revealed, especially our tits.

Plus, we get the oral history of Miss Madeline: standing by a parked Corvette until the owner returned and demanding a photoshoot inside it; taking the Business of Stupid deadly serious; and pushing the vision of a pop star into a sick, twisted and sexy future. CHEERS, bitches.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Write us a love song (fuck it, an album) on Patreon.

Follow Miss Madeline on Twitter, Instagram, and stream her genius discography on Spotify and Apple Music. 

The girls are joined LIVE in the stu' with one of our favorite Chicago via NYC sisters Frank AKA @chlumbucket AKA Prolapsed Catholic! In an episode that can only be described as powerful and intentional female trauma-bonding, the ladies confront their demons, expunge their spiritual debts, and get them titties out once and for all. 

First, we review the new MARINA's state of the union address "Purge the Poison," and wonder if it's just regular bad or the ravings of a schizophrenic genius. Then, we welcome former Bachelor Colton Underwood out from the closet and into the light, and discuss his forthcoming Netflix show with "gay guide" Gus Kenworthy. Is there ANOTHER man up to the task of opening sweet Colton's eyes to the harsh realities of his new life? 

Lastly, we strap on our sexy once-piece lifeguard suits and take a deep dive into Lady Gaga's ARTPOP-- unpacking the psychology of the woman herself, and wonder what makes it so much more embarrassing than other "gay music."

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Take us to your planet on Patreon.

Follow Frank on Twitter @chlumbucket.

For the first time in a long while, it's just the girls coming together over some pretzel chips and purple Gatorade to get into the hottest issues of the week. Both of our pets got sick this week so we recount the TAIL in excruciating detail and touch base, yknow, as sisters.

Not much time is wasted before we unpack Lil Mama's proposed Heterosexual Rights Movement against LGBT Internet bullies. Can you grow tits from touching too many receipts? Should gay guys just marry ugly chicks and have a slampig on the side? Who REALLY should've won America's Best Dance Crew? All is revealed.

Then, we talk about Krispy Kreme's free donut deal for the vaccinated-- and wonder for how much less we'd sell our morals. PLUS, we talk Keiynan Lonsdale's "tree/treeself" preferred pronouns. At first we thought we should LEAF it alone, but we decided to go NUTS!

AND this high holiday weekend episode would not be complete without a retelling of the story of Passover. We get to the bottom of what REALLY happened when the girls fled Egypt and put it on a period hoe. 

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Buy us an additional Krispy Kreme donut on Patreon.

The gals are joined by none other than singer, rapper, producer, label owner, former e-girl and current it-girl KITTY for a once-in-a-generation girls' chat. Careers are documented, names are NAMED with no hesitation, Diet Dr. Pepper is absolutely slammed and NOTHING is off the table. Point blank, babe.

First, we catalog Kitty's discography in excruciating detail, from Okay Cupid to Charm and Mirror, and things are kept strictly buck: Are white girl rappers the harbinger of an empire in decline? Why is it stupid to write lyrics first? And that's not all: scamming ass producers, shitty boyfriends, an elite ring of airline baggage thieves, and a music video director whose parents were on set. Every era is cracked open sisters!

Then, we give Kitty the Thot Topics experience and review the week's new singles. We talk Justin Bieber's protestant banger "Hold On," psychoanalyze Gwen Stefani's "Slow Clap" and get to the evil heart at the center of [non-rap game] Taylor Swift's re-recorded "Love Story."

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Count all our starfish on Patreon.

Follow Kitty on Twitter @kittaveli and her label Pretty Wavvy on YouTube.

We WERE joined by the iconic Jordan AKA @goodboygremlin on Twitter for the bitchfest of a lifetime regarding Nick being bullied for being PrEPphobic-- but we forgot to press record and literally flapped our nasty little gums for AN HOUR before realizing that we were not recording anything whatsoever. 

But God guides our hands when we need it most, and we're pretty sure that we're left with something far better: over an hour of three young women keeping it buck, 100, and totally real with each other in an uncertain world.

First, Jordan joins the elite team of Thot Topics legal eagles in order to get to the bottom of why asexuals, aromantics and pansexuals are not protected by the new Equality Act. Then, the girls come bravely forth in defense of throuples and their right to have a baby-- but not before deciding which of them might be most qualified to have a baby themselves. And that's not all: panties with pearls for a crotch, Aromantic Hooters, which Powerpuff Girl they would be, when the last time they cried was, Super Follows, what song they would perform on American Idol if forced, and how often they're clocked as gay. It's erotic; it's medically accurate; it's Thot Topics baby!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Make the Incomparable House of Pancakes a reality on Patreon.

Follow the good gremlin on Twitter @goodboygremlin.

The divas are joined by Jack from The Perfume Nationalist for a divalicious roundtable on all things fly, hot, and sexy. When did it become unremarkable to hear Lady Gaga playing at CVS? What makes people want to call Lana Del Rey a white supremacist? Is Tony Soprano hot, or are there too many scenes of him diarrhea shitting? We ask, and God provides the answers.

In the main event, in what can only be described as Gay Men's Business, the gals deliver the ultimate defense of both Lena Dunham AND Girls-- cataloguing their favorite episodes, which characters they relate to most, and the lie you people tell yourselves when you say you hate Lena. 

Plus, we get Jack to come out as a Carrie/Hannah. You're welcome!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. All we are asking for is $1,100 dollars, a month, for the next two years on Patreon. 

Follow Jack @lotus__point, and support TPN on Patreon, as all adventurous women do.

In an even sexier episode than usual, we take TikTok gender theorists to task over women's right to gay porn. Then, we discuss the second cumming of Sherry Pie on the Tamron Hall show, and wonder if the whole thing is a psyop to try and get gay actors more roles. Last but not least, we take on the #HELPSAI Gofundme scam, and what happens when idpol collides with a website that encourages straight-up lying.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Fight for your right to party on Patreon.

Then, it's down to business, and we go travel Backie in time and pay a visit to Rebecca Black (was tempted to rhyme here but I'm pretty sure it'd be a slur?) in a truly riveting review of her 10th anniversary remix of her song "Friday." Plus, where do we go after hyperpop burns through all of the "XD RANDOMSAUCE" references of the 2010's?

And finally, we turn our eyes to this season of Drag Race-- giving our completely sexy and correct stances on not only the contestants, but the state of reality TV in general. It's THAT serious. Believe that.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Donate to the national fund for Rihanna Navy Wives on Patreon. 

For our anniversary episode, we make the holy pilgrimage to the Thot Topics Mecca: IKEA. We follow the winding paths in search of truth, liberty, justice, and most importantly: a freakin' bargain!

Advance warning that we are definitely "queering" audio quality on this one. It's a complex experimental listening experience-- a beautiful one, if you have the stomach for it. We certainly do-- 36 inch waists, baby. 

We attempt to discuss Olivia Rodrigo's Bizaardvark rise to fame, Sloppy Joe's inauguration, and tech censorship-- but mostly we wind up describing the wares of the IKEA storerooms in excruciating detail.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Reserve a seat for our next shopping trip on Patreon.

First, the girls give their take on the "events" that "unfolded" at the Capitol. Spoiler alert: it's literally the most salient analysis you will ever hear on the situation. More importantly, we decide once and for all whether or not it was okay to think that guy in the viking costume was hot.

We also take off our turquoise AND all of our jewels to review the new Lana single-- and make our predictions for the remainder of the COCC era.

Then, AT LONG LAST, it's finally Hammer time: we discuss Armie's alleged cannibalism/blood fetish-- and in related territory, whether Azealia's cat stew was the purrfect fancy feast. Let's go bananas!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Watch this ass clap on Patreon.

For the first time in what seems like forever, and certainly for the first time in 2021, it's just. us. girls. And boy did we have a lot of pent-up psychosis. First, we look back on 2020 AND look to the future with our new years' resolutions.

But it's not all about us: we flex our clapback at the Flo Milli x Beats AAVE struggle commercial and recast AOC in it, we take a stance once and for all against gay actors and their so-called "rights," AND whether straight men should be forced to buy women's products if they want anything that isn't a toolkit or a spare tire. Amen and awomen hunty!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Kick a lil' somethin' for the G's on Patreon.

As balls prepare to drop throughout the country, we purge the remaining demons of the year over a FRESH can of Squirt (a drink that Paul did not know existed). We discuss our new years' resolutions, expanding the definition of "tearing it," tanning, funemployment, and literally the homeless.

But that's not all-- we swan dive into the Thot Topics mail bag and emerge dripping wet with listener "questions," successfully soothing the deeply tortured psyche of our audience. Does your amazing complex sex life with an attractive and rich older man make you feel like you're literally in prison? Do you find that you're always having sex with gay guys? And, like, do you LOVE God? All is revealed in a tight 74 minutes.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.

Follow Paul @GayCrossfit. Listen to Paul & Patrik on Not Really Podcast and subscribe to their Patreon.

This episode is the Lucky Pierre in the pillow-bitingly girthy three-part crossover POPULAR THOT REVOLUTION in which Twink Revolution, Thot Topics, and I'm So Popular recap the year of our lord 2020 in excruciating detail. Here, we talk May through August: to hear Part 1, follow your nose to Twink Revolution; to hear Part 3, offer yourself at the altar of I'm So Popular.

This week, the ladies have a meat-and-greet with some of the juiciest and cuntiest podcasters this side of the Mississippi AND the Pacific! We're joined by the boys of Twink Revolution AND Zach Langley Chi-Chi of I'm So Popular podcast for a recap of all the things you forgot about the middle months of 2020. Who got cancelled? Who got pregnant? Who got us pregnant? You already know your questions are answered.

We talk Black Lives Mattering, JK Rowling Terfgate, Lana Del Rey's bear titties, WAP, Pride being cancelled and yet still taking over Twitter discourse, Hunter Biden's dick, James Charles, and so much more. Merry Christmastime... Happy holidays...

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Contribute to our diet soda fund on Patreon.

Follow Twink Revolution on Twitter @RevGiant and @twnkforchrist69, and listen to their show wherever podcasts are procured.

Follow Zach Langley Chi-Chi on Twitter @asukahomo, and use your little noggin to find where to listen to I'm So Popular.

If Santa can bring toys to all the children in the world in a single night, then we can cover the week's online drama with just as much conviction.

We get to the bottom of whether you need to be "intelligent" and "not Mexican" to understand Taylor Swift's music... We fulfill Manifest Breastiny and restore Cottagecore valor to its rightful owners... We climb aboard a plane headed for a brighter LGBTQIA+ future (and get gay married along the way)... We boldly come forth to declare that Rain On Me Lives Matter at the Grindr Awards... AND!!! (motherfucker, AND!!!!) we take on the great Pornhub purge of 2020. It's lit like the tree, girl.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Fill up our "stockings" on Patreon.

HOUSEKEEPING: Make sure to call in to the Thot Topics THOTLINE before the 28th! We have a very special guest helping us fix your life. Email your dilemmas to ThotTopicsPod@gmail.com or leave a voicemail at (872) 239-6261.

Merch orders are shipping out before the weekend! 

Bear with us on the audio. I just got a new laptop and I'm still figuring out how to navigate this horrible Garageband update lol. 

In layman's terms, this week we host the crossover event of a lifetime-- the girls are joined by Juan and Josh of Hot Local Singles! On our graves, it couldn't be juicier. We completely tore it. 

There's very little we don't talk about this week. First, we join hands with Zola Jesus in the unending fight for Indie Rights and answer the questions on everyone's poverty brains: Is Clairo poor? Should it be illegal for Taylor Grift to enter the woods? Was she better when she was a Republican?

Then, we take on the Pitchfork Year in Review lists: who deserved their designations? Who was inexplicably included? From Fiona A to Cardi B, we spill piping hot takes all over our tits. Youch!

Last but not least, we take Cardi to task over her $88,000 purse purchase, and finally learn what $88,000 worth of Sherpa material looks like. It's a Hanukkah freakin' miracle!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Bid us a happy high holy days on Patreon.

Listen to Hot Local Singles wherever podcasts fill your sweet little ears and pay for their Canadian needs on Patreon. Follow Josh and Juan on Twitter.

The discourse cornucopia is practically bursting at its pretty wicker seams, and boy, have we got a mind to tear that hoe up. First, we wish Elliot Page a very pleasant evening (dudes rock!) and wonder whether it's time to put the ancient art of the Coming Out Letter to bed for good. Then, we unpack the 2021 Grammy nominations: we get to the BOTTOM of how H.E.R. manages to keep getting nominated for shit, loose our lips on the Megan Thee Stallion album, and sink our bleeding incisors into the new genre du jour: HYPERPOOR.

Last but not least, we put our good little housewife aprons on and serve up a warm and delicious roast named Psychoanalyzing Gay Leftists. What's with everyone being obsessed with AIDS-era gay sex culture again? Are gays better off "mainstreamed," or should we return to the old way? Which dequeered first: the boochie or the world? All this and more on the wonderful world of THOT TOPICS!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod.

Pay for our PrEP prescriptions on Patreon and don our gay apparel on our merch store which closes DECEMBER 7 for shipping!

It's International Men's Day, and what better way to celebrate the global purveyors of dick 'n' balls than to invite another expert on the matter to our intimate set? Beloved chaotic-good Twitter gay and all-around sweetheart @Maxxi_Pad joins us for one of our girliest chit-chats of all time: we were gonna make some Barbies scissor, but before we knew it, we'd loosed our lips on far more pressing matters.

With closed minds and open legs, we answer the questions on everyone's feeble minds: When Barack Obama says "fag," does he mean it in a feminist way? Is it really that bad to say it when Michelle is gay? Is the Cock Destroyers' new show Slag Wars going to bring that Tila Tequila flavor the world is so sorely lacking? And who killed reality TV anyway, the influencers or the queers? And, like, should we do body shots?!?

And that's not all. Music truly makes us lose control this week: we review the new Miley Cyrus/Dua Lipa track "Prisoner," and listen to MARINA speak to the manager on her comeback single "Ma'am's World." We go freakin' bananas!

AND!!!! The Thot Topics holiday merch store is now LIVE! Get yourself an adorable t-shirt or lighter for the holidays ]]> What are we? We're fucking Barack destroyers, babe... 

AND!!!! The Thot Topics holiday merch store is now LIVE! Get yourself an adorable t-shirt or lighter for the holidays ]]> Thot Topics true No 4250 41 full 1-800-BANANAS! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/1-800-bananas/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/1-800-bananas/#comments Fri, 13 Nov 2020 21:19:11 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/caeb2a94-d90a-3113-bbee-679e24e49619 678-TRIPLENINE-8212!!!!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. Follow the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Act now and secure a brighter future for American on Patreon.

They're heeeeere! (Get it? We have a new episode lol.) This week, it's the Thot Topics Halloween Spooktacular-- and we talk about all things spooky, scary, frightening, or otherwise: what are our biggest fears? What are we going to be for Halloween? Take it from two graveyard smashes: it's a ghoulishly girly little chat.

Then, it's down to business, and frankly, this is some of our spiciest discussion ever: we unpack the claim that "chaser" is a "slur" for "pansexuals." (Scare quotes for Halloween! Boo!) That takes us on a very creepy journey through nonbinary gender and wonder whose fault it is that it's been packaged as a "third gender," and for what purpose. Lastly, we draw our definitive line in the sand between Millennials and Zoomers, and discuss whether Gen Z is more or less "radical" than any generation before. Boner-chilling!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and on the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Guard yourself against the Dark Arts on Patreon.

We hear you. We see you. And we at Thot Topics are committed to doing better for minority voices. That's why this week, we've invited possibly the most persecuted voice in the history of bisexuality: River Page! (@leftyotter) Trust the duchess when she says that three truly IS company. 

This week, we review the new Hulu covid documentary "Totally Under Control," two hours of softcore porn for people who hate God. In the process we answer the most pressing questions of the coronavirus: Did the government invent Covid? Does being a fat girl predispose you to being better at science? Will you hurry up and fuck me!?!

But that's not all: we put River through the wringer with the most hotly contested pop singles of the week, from Slayyyter's fire-and-brimstone-and-Hot-Topic-jeans comeback, to LOONA's take on that hamster dance song, to Lana's pro-ana anthem "Let Me Love You Like a Woman," to Ariana Grande's literally unintelligible "Positions." Let's get fucking physical!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. 

Follow River @leftyotter and get your dick sucked in his bathhouse of ideology, Twink Revolution!

This week, three strong, brave, empowered women stand before us: Hunter Biden, Billie Eyelash, and Cardi B (not to be confused with Coney B, our white woman of the hour). In a Top Model-style elimination, we decide whose leaked photos are the most embarrassing and SPOILER ALERT, it's not cool hooker-fucking crackhead.

But that's not all-- we decide once and for all whether "sexual preference" is offensive to America's most vulnerable population: gay guys. (But not before we speculate on whether or not we chose to be gay ourselves.) THEN, we talk about how PHD-speak (Post Hole Dude!) ruins perfectly good, possibly even meaningful messages on the Internet. We've got your last meal right here bitch!

Follow the dolls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Post our bail on Patreon.

We shotgunned some iced coffee before recording so Creative Juices were leaking out of our fucking eyes and pitter-pattering all over the floor this week. It's the night of the VP debates, but we have far juicier fish to fry: we discuss Trump's 'Rona diagnosis (AND that sweet dumptruck ass), how Kamala can still win (this season of Drag Race), AND the gay guy selfie takeover of the Proud Boys hashtag (and every other hashtag in history)-- all before we catch Princess Nokia BLACK-HANDED and covered in yak's milk. Moooo!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Pay our child support on Patreon. (We are the children.)

It's time for some more serious political newscasting. This week, we defend Playmate of the Union Melania Trump and her rights to the status of gay icon of American history despite the pathetic objections of the freaks over at "Queerty." Then, we tune in to the OTHER queer media--CNN-- and recap the events of the first presidential debate. Does Biden stand a chance? What would a Democratic victory actually change? Has anyone seen my dog!? But that's not all: we also talk about ugly people pretending to be mad about hot people having fun in Covid times, whether or not our voices are gay, seasonal anxiety, Nicki Minaj's new baby, our uhh "colorful" teenage Facebook pages, and more! Happy pay Kim Petras's rent month.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod! Subscribe on Patreon to support the divas. 

Ladies, today, we come to you hoping that you can take us as we are: not as faggots, not as podcasters, but as... oh, god, this is so hard... g... g-gaymers!!! We recorded an episode with a close sister of the pod but we fucked up the audio so badly that we decided to workshop it a bit and give it to you in its best form. In the meantime, we offer you this: an EMERGENCY episode!

We used up all of the news of the week on the delayed episode, so today, pull up a vibrating gaming chair and get comfortable: it's gonna be a shockingly bumpy ride. Together, we play two extremely horrifying games: DEAD BY DAYLIGHT, and HELLO NEIGHBOR.

In yet another impressive feat of audio production from the Thot Topics team, we ask each other questions that probe deep into the psyche while our innocent Xbox avatars are routinely killed, splattered and screaming in the background while we talk about some girly stuff! You really get to know the divas on this one.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC! And the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Keep your eyes peeled this week for a special guest appearance from the girls on ANOTHER SHOW!!! ]]> Ooky spooky... 

Ladies, today, we come to you hoping that you can take us as we are: not as faggots, not as podcasters, but as... oh, god, this is so hard... g... g-gaymers!!! We recorded an episode with a close sister of the pod but we fucked up the audio so badly that we decided to workshop it a bit and give it to you in its best form. In the meantime, we offer you this: an EMERGENCY episode!

We used up all of the news of the week on the delayed episode, so today, pull up a vibrating gaming chair and get comfortable: it's gonna be a shockingly bumpy ride. Together, we play two extremely horrifying games: DEAD BY DAYLIGHT, and HELLO NEIGHBOR.

In yet another impressive feat of audio production from the Thot Topics team, we ask each other questions that probe deep into the psyche while our innocent Xbox avatars are routinely killed, splattered and screaming in the background while we talk about some girly stuff! You really get to know the divas on this one.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC! And the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Keep your eyes peeled this week for a special guest appearance from the girls on ANOTHER SHOW!!! ]]> thottopics true No 4975 32 full Ratpresentation AKA The 9/11 Special! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/ratpresentation-aka-the-911-special/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/ratpresentation-aka-the-911-special/#comments Fri, 11 Sep 2020 09:19:25 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/59e53926-dfa2-3d1e-b3c4-619f20b2969f {Demi Lovato voice} Did you forget... 

Rest in peace to the chicks who were dying to be us on 9/11 (we were three and sooooo skinny)-- and to those new pledges from the Twink Revolution Extended Universe, uhm... we are simply cheesed to meet you...

It's just us girls again. Both of us didn't get jobs we were really excited about but we come to you, the listeners, with our hearts open and our panties dropped with the intent to exorcise those demons. We do a pretty good job by projecting our anger onto some tweets as well as the Motion Picture Academy, ultimately deciding whether it's okay for closeted people to make "queer" media, and whether or not the new Oscar rules are a Big Miss Steak.

In case any of you are feeling generous, we have a Patreon now where you can support this $14/month operation: patreon.com/thottopics.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official Twitter @ThotTopicsPod. Mwah!

кто бы говорил! This week, we have Sam and Gian of Twink Revolution Podcast over for the sweatiest, bounciest slumber party/pillow fight of all time! Wait... omg, did we leave the door open? Ugh! Our eyes are up here, pervert!

This girls' night is strictly business, baby: we get to the bottom of the Twink Rev origin story, guide the twinks on a journey as they tap into their inner stan/misogynist, then dish on Lady Gaga's, uhh, "breathless" VMA performance. Plus: OnlyFans, queer theory syllabi, narcissism, Miley Cyrus's Anna Khachiyan haircut, Zoomcore, Grimes's pregnancy diet, going maskless as the new rawdogging, AUDIO FUCKING ISSUES, Frankie Grande's former throuple, mutual love and respect, God, sacrifice, deliverance, and podcasting. ]]> Yeah, we're gay. Keep scrolling.

кто бы говорил! This week, we have Sam and Gian of Twink Revolution Podcast over for the sweatiest, bounciest slumber party/pillow fight of all time! Wait... omg, did we leave the door open? Ugh! Our eyes are up here, pervert!

This girls' night is strictly business, baby: we get to the bottom of the Twink Rev origin story, guide the twinks on a journey as they tap into their inner stan/misogynist, then dish on Lady Gaga's, uhh, "breathless" VMA performance. Plus: OnlyFans, queer theory syllabi, narcissism, Miley Cyrus's Anna Khachiyan haircut, Zoomcore, Grimes's pregnancy diet, going maskless as the new rawdogging, AUDIO FUCKING ISSUES, Frankie Grande's former throuple, mutual love and respect, God, sacrifice, deliverance, and podcasting. ]]> thottopics true No 5676 30 full You Don't Mess With the Lohan! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/you-dont-mess-with-the-lohan/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/you-dont-mess-with-the-lohan/#comments Thu, 27 Aug 2020 08:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/ec9170b6-0829-3963-8da5-bff5dae9764d Gosh, is it bad to say that we had a Grand Old Time with the ladies of the RNC? Beats fuckin Billy Porter that's for sure, and this is definitely some of our best episode music of all time...

This week, we leave no stone unturned, no ass unwiped, no conversion therapy uncompleted, and no president unseated! Try to keep up, bitch.

We recap the RNC, ponder why jumping in a moving train doesn't send you flying to the back, discuss Lohanthony's dishonorable discharge from homosexuality, and ask some extremely pressing questions: Has "ironic" online homophobia among gay men gone too far? AND is Black Lives Matter protesting in white neighborhoods a total LARP?

Take a load off, you fucking freaks, cuz this is gonna be a wild ride!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

For your reference and listening enjoyment: Zach Langley Chi Chi's IM SO POPULAR Episode 05: "Gay People and Personal Branding"

Pretty slow news week, but we had a lot of fun doing the albums bracket a few weeks back, so we decide to loose our hottest takes about every pop girl (and man!) in the industry one by one in a race to the TOP! (Lol) All we DO this week is pit women against each other: Rihanna and Beyonce, Katy and Gaga, Demi and Selena, Bieber and Styles, and so many more. Plus, we choose a side in the great Billy Porter/Randy Rainbow divide, and celebrate the freedom of Lena Dunham from cultural indignity.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

River Page - "The Woke Resurrection of a Gay Sex Panic" (Twink Revolution)

Lucky for you we opt for only one racially charged conversation topic-- instead, we look inward at our experiences in P.E. class to answer to one of this week's hottest online takes: if gym class was less "toxically masculine," would there be less obesity? Only one way to find out, fatty. Strap on those thinking caps and hit the showers!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

During the pregame, we discuss Megan Thee Stallion breaking her silence on her shooting, Lana Del Rey's horrible new hair, and some other shit we can't remember. We're sure you'll love it, money back guarantee!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

GOD, you guys are lucky to have us. With the help of dearly beloved friend of the pod Cole Cunningham, we boldly go where no group of homosexuals has gone before: the world of musical theater. 

In other words, we tried to watch the three hour long minstrel show that is Hamilton on Disney+, but truly could not bear all of the extremely earnest rap written by someone who had clearly never listened to rap before in their entire life. We fast-forwarded a lot but boy, have we got the recap/review show for you!

Don't worry, that's not all. We also review the new Katy Perry jingle "Smile," Nicki Minaj's immaculate conception pics, and discuss the proposal to change Boystown's name to Tinaville or something. Reminder to PLEASE stop uhhh hexing the fae I swear to god you don't know what you're playing with... Xoxo!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. We'd tell you to follow Cole but he's on private cuz he has a job (unlike some people).

God this episode was a fucking slog to get through... in the first-ever technical difficulties in Thot Topics recorded history, we lost FIFTEEN GODDAMN MINUTES OF AUDIO from our first take and had to start fresh. We handle it okay but our mournful mood looms large over this episode. Since God came down and took our scathing hot Fire Island takes from the world and my hard drive, we instead turn to the Harper's Magazine open letter calling to CANCEL cancel culture, along with some extremely pressing and important YouTuber drama. Since we were left with a Cancelthon on our hands, we then decide to play a game of Cancel Her or Keep Her, where we justify which women deserve to be canceled, and which deserve to stay! They got us gal!

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Alternate Titles: A Groom With A View, Marvin's Groom, Groom and Board, Chatgroom

Follow the girls & company on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY, @YOURE2BASIC and @OKAYCHICAGO.

Donate to up to 55 community bail funds here! (Sometimes links do not work from the podcast description body-- this link is available in Nick's Twitter bio @VLRTUALBOY as well!)

The Thot Topics Foundation has donated to the LGBTQ Freedom Fund and the Chicago Community Bond Fund. We recommend donating to your local community bail fund, or to a protest hotspot most meaningful to you if your area is not currently holding protests that have endured police violence. We'll kiss u thru the pod if u do!!

For further reading on police abolition and possible long-term legislative goals, we recommend reading Alex Vitale's "The End of Policing," available for free on the Verso Books website. Angela Davis's "Are Prisons Obsolete?" is also available for free online. The ladies encourage you to do your own research and consider what policies you will unequivocally demand from your elected officials when the social media storm eventually dies down. Love you, mean it, ACAB, Black Lives Matter! ]]> HEARTWARMING: This Chicago police officer just took a knee to motorboat our fucking tits! The girls are back with the man we bring onto our CLOSED SET for "serious episodes," Will Okay! (@okaychicago) This week, we discuss the state of the American race war, and interrogate its most pressing questions: Now that Trump has instilled Jaida Essence Law, how do we organize a legislative long-term plan for police abolition? How has #MeToo ruined the American idea of meaningful protest? And perhaps most importantly-- when will Uber Eats be open past 8PM again???? We attempt to talk about Grindr's removal of the ethnicity filter, but we got too drunk on White Claws and alcoholic freeze pops and end up talking about our childhoods. What it gave, officer?

Follow the girls & company on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY, @YOURE2BASIC and @OKAYCHICAGO.

Donate to up to 55 community bail funds here! (Sometimes links do not work from the podcast description body-- this link is available in Nick's Twitter bio @VLRTUALBOY as well!)

The Thot Topics Foundation has donated to the LGBTQ Freedom Fund and the Chicago Community Bond Fund. We recommend donating to your local community bail fund, or to a protest hotspot most meaningful to you if your area is not currently holding protests that have endured police violence. We'll kiss u thru the pod if u do!!

For further reading on police abolition and possible long-term legislative goals, we recommend reading Alex Vitale's "The End of Policing," available for free on the Verso Books website. Angela Davis's "Are Prisons Obsolete?" is also available for free online. The ladies encourage you to do your own research and consider what policies you will unequivocally demand from your elected officials when the social media storm eventually dies down. Love you, mean it, ACAB, Black Lives Matter! ]]> thottopics true No 4382 19 full White Is Lana Del Right! https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/white-is-lana-del-right/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/white-is-lana-del-right/#comments Tue, 26 May 2020 09:30:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/348d583e-f1fe-598f-a264-a198b77b09e5 This episode was originally written for Mozart but he decided it was too emotional to perform.

Honestly, what DON'T we talk about this week? Baby Jesus finally blessed us with some piping hot TL drama and frankly we couldn't wait to baste in those juices, sweetheart.

We discuss Lana Del Rey's brave defense of an outmoded form of womanhood, and wonder if the REAL perpetrator in all of this is Beyonce.

Then, we react to RuPaul's-- uh, we mean Lady Gaga's new single with Ariankkka Grande, "Rain on Me"! (Spoiler alert: we let her breathe and are definitely open to marrying some bottoms for Chromatican citizenship!)

Lastly, being the investigative reporters that we are, we catch Doja Cat in the act of going live on Insta to state her side in the unprecedented case of The People vs Their Own Feeble Minds, then wonder if the disease of "stanning" even deserves a cure.

Enjoy, you sweet meat ass fanooks! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC.

Also, we're compiling a YouTube playlist full of all the songs we've used on the pod and haven't paid for! Just making it easier for all the legal teams we'll be hearing from in the future. Give her a stream here if you so desire. 

For all who ordered merch, stickers are on the way soon! Our shirts are on backorder because of coroña (ugh) so they'll be just a bit longer. Love ya!

The Thot Topics webstore closes this Friday, April 17! Get your shirts and stickers at thottopics.bigcartel.com! We thank you for all your support ]]> We is risen! Resident mansplainer and crisis top Will Okay (@okaymiz) emerges from the Thot Vault to play a quick and dirty little game of Over/Under based on listener suggestions! The results couldn't be juicier, and no one is safe: Solange, OnlyFans girls, skinny people, Dr. Pimple Popper, Nick's dermatologist, and that's not all! These brave chicks also swan dive into the murky waters of 2000's nostalgia, Bernie's Biden endorsement, and parents who dress their babies in designer clothing-- only to emerge dripping wet with the hottest takes in the game. Chag sameach, cunt!

The Thot Topics webstore closes this Friday, April 17! Get your shirts and stickers at thottopics.bigcartel.com! We thank you for all your support ]]> thottopics true No 5085 13 full Nothing Gay About Hell! (feat. @nickwaka24) https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/nothing-gay-about-hell-feat-nickwaka24/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/nothing-gay-about-hell-feat-nickwaka24/#comments Fri, 10 Apr 2020 11:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/04de3bb1-ca36-5a78-8a4f-c3fe5d222694 It's been a while... we know we shouldn't have kept you waiting... but we're here now. Our Passover table makes room for friend of the pod and beloved Twitter gay @nickwaka24, and the conversation gets like, soooo girly. We discuss Bernie's campaign suspension, Charli XCX's possible asexuality and forthcoming album, then examine the Bhad Bhabie blackfishing scandal, and wonder about how celebs and influencers have turned cultural appropriation into another way to monetize their lives. (Spoiler alert: we're jealous!!) Then, in a moment none of us are proud to be excited for, we give our takes on the queens of Drag Race Season 12, including which muppet Brita is most reminiscent of, and whether or not Aiden Zhane is fishy. (SHE IS!!!) You'll definitely think it's fun, and you'll like the beat! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. 

This is the last week to secure Thot Topics merch! Production starts April 17. Shirts and stickers are available at thottopics.bigcartel.com, and you know they're adorable baby!! 

Cop your T-shirts and stickers if you haven't yet! THOTTOPICS.BIGCARTEL.COM! Shouts to @fernandokonichiwa on Insta for the tee idea ]]> Ay, mami! The girls are by their lonesome once more to endure another week of torturous quar content. In the first-ever Thot Topics Latinxtravaganza, these dumb broads discuss Gay$ap Rocky and the treasure trove that lies in Azealia Banks's iCloud Drive, mistake Bad Bunny for being Mexican, and ponder whether or not his "Yo Perreo Sola" video is good for trans people. (Spoiler alert: no. lol) THEN, in an extra-special moment of love and care for the listeners, we compile a list of Thot Topics' Favorite Things wherein Cris comes out as an Ayn Rand supporter: books, movies, and music to get you through isolation, from Ex Machina to Uffie! 

Cop your T-shirts and stickers if you haven't yet! THOTTOPICS.BIGCARTEL.COM! Shouts to @fernandokonichiwa on Insta for the tee idea ]]> thottopics true No 4832 11 full Return to the Ashes! (feat. @ratdad666) https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/return-to-the-ashes-feat-ratdad666/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/return-to-the-ashes-feat-ratdad666/#comments Tue, 24 Mar 2020 10:00:00 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/99b6b866-b865-5609-b893-461f83bd904d Poppers and douches and urns, oh my! This week, the girls sit down for a little chitchat with Peter, aka @ratdad666, the perpetrator behind the infamous Charli XCX #Ashesgate to talk all things fly, hot, and sexy: mommorabilia, the manic depressive effects of the quar, ANIMAL CROSSING, the tanning arts, the new Dua Lipa album, and Poppy's bad metal music. Then, we look back on the ashes seen 'round the world, and wonder how much it really matters when a female pop star is willing to (in the words of famed sociologist Azealia Banks) "ride gay dick." As if!

AND HEY!!! WE'RE SELLING STICKERS AND T-SHIRTS! VISIT OUR STORE AT THOTTOPICS.BIGCARTEL.COM! THEY'RE SUPER AFFORDABLE AND TOTALLY ADORABLE! ]]> Poppers and douches and urns, oh my! This week, the girls sit down for a little chitchat with Peter, aka @ratdad666, the perpetrator behind the infamous Charli XCX #Ashesgate to talk all things fly, hot, and sexy: mommorabilia, the manic depressive effects of the quar, ANIMAL CROSSING, the tanning arts, the new Dua Lipa album, and Poppy's bad metal music. Then, we look back on the ashes seen 'round the world, and wonder how much it really matters when a female pop star is willing to (in the words of famed sociologist Azealia Banks) "ride gay dick." As if!

AND HEY!!! WE'RE SELLING STICKERS AND T-SHIRTS! VISIT OUR STORE AT THOTTOPICS.BIGCARTEL.COM! THEY'RE SUPER AFFORDABLE AND TOTALLY ADORABLE! ]]> thottopics true No 4361 10 full Quaranteens! (feat. FOTP Morgan) https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/quaranteens-feat-fotp-morgan/ https://thottopics.podbean.com/e/quaranteens-feat-fotp-morgan/#comments Tue, 17 Mar 2020 09:23:25 -0600 thottopics.podbean.com/097f20c4-fb70-50b7-9780-364479ead2f4 Inbreastigative Journalists in the House (by Illinois state mandate)!!! This week, the girls are joined by friend of the pod Morgan mere minutes after her experience being tested for Coronavirus-- no, actually!!-- and ponder the possible fallout of the pandemic as it continues to spread like peanut butter! Then, alone once more, they unpack Paper Magazine's Lady Gaga cover story, go ham on Abercrombie's new "plus-size" "gay" "model" Michael McCauley, and wonder if non-hot people have a place in fashion and media. Get well soon, bitch! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC. 

P.S. If you think you'd make a good guest on the show please hit our DM! We're looking to bring more girls and gays into the Thot Topics Cinematic Universe. Xo!