On the Path with Andy Petranek

You are exactly where you are supposed to be (and so am I)

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 04:13:00 -0700

You are exactly where you're supposed to be (and so am I).

No matter where you are, there is no question that you are right where you're supposed to be.

Now... it may not feel that way. It certainly didn't for me for a very loooooong time.

Things swirled. I was riddled with fear, worry, panic, and anxiety... for almost an entire year.

And even after that year, I'd get regular "visits" from that uninvited guest.

But with regular, daily self-nurturing practices like meditation, journaling, exercise, affirmations, diet, gratitude, I've been able to pull myself (with spirit's help, of course) into a place that is way beyond where I was before my "emotional meltdown" (aka spiritual awakening) occurred.

Another big piece for me was my willingness to lean on others - friends, community, family, even people I didn't know that well. They helped me like structural scaffolding as I did the work to put things back together.

And as a result, now I'm able to say with full conviction, that I am, and have always been, right where I am supposed to be. And as hard as it might be to see, you are too.If you're struggling, as I was, I suggest adopting a regular self-nurturing practice as well. As well as leaning on your friends and community. Perhaps even working with a therapist or a coach. Moving down this path is hard to do on your own, even perhaps impossible.

And don't stop believing. If I can do it... I know you can too!

It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it that really matters.

Sat, 07 Aug 2021 17:12:00 -0700

Have you ever noticed that when you hear about something that worked for someone else, you want to know how to do it yourself? You want the steps, the directions, the to-do list, the tools.

The tools are the what... And while it might look like those are what gave that person the result they got, the deeper and more important cut is in exploring the 'how' and 'why'.

You see, people can do exactly the same thing, follow all the rules, take all the steps, and get very different results.

Why?

Because of what's underneath... the why.

If your checklist of to-dos, the actions you're taking are just a strategy you've adopted to avoid the pain you feel of inadequacy, unlovability, or not-enoughness inside... your action steps aren't going to solve the problem.

So... if you're not getting the results you want in any area of your life, or you're thinking about doing something to fix something that isn't working for you... take a good hard look at what you're up to and ask yourself...

🌺🌺 Are the actions I'm taking or about to take addressing my real problem?

👉 👉 If not, what are the deeper underlying beliefs of unworthiness, not-enoughness, or inadequacy I've got that I need to deal with to get what I truly want?

Intention the chicken 🐓 vs Commitment the pig 🐷

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 04:10:00 -0700

Do you ever wonder why your spouse gets so frustrated with you when you say you’re going to do something and then you don’t do it?

Most likely it’s because of the difference in the way you each interpreted what you said you were going to do. In your spouses’ mind, you saying you’d do whatever it was you were going to do was a commitment. It was action based. You could be counted upon to do it. And it would be clear at the end of the day whether or not it got done by whether or not it did, in fact, get done.However in your mind, it probably registered as an intention. You’d probably do it, if or when you could; you wanted to do it, if something more important didn’t come up; you would do it, as long as you had time.

You see… if you recognized that in the moment, and communicated what you’re really thinking, it has the possibility of taking the communication in your relationship to an entirely new level. Intention: “Honey, my intention is to do this… there are a lot of things going on today, and I have every intention of doing that, but…”Commitment: “Honey, I will absolutely get that done. You can count on me. It will be done by 4:30pm this afternoon.”🚀 It’s obviously something that takes practice… but give it a shot, and let me know how it goes!

On having the courage to feel and accept ALL of your thoughts and feelings.

Wed, 04 Aug 2021 04:08:00 -0700

No one WANTS to reveal that they have ugly thoughts and feelings - those of anger, rage, repulsion, judgment, egotistical, arrogance, ungratefulness.

And yet you have them.

No one wants to reveal feelings of weakness... sadness, hurt, pain, despair, loneliness, apathy.

And yet you have them.

Feelings like these are part of what it means to be human. They're real as real gets. And to deny their existence by squashing them, pretending they're not there, or rising above them in what's usually called 'spiritual bypass', makes it very difficult for others to feel like they can deeply know you and trust you. Why? Because of your unwillingness to be real with them - owning and accepting all parts of how you think and feel.

We're all human. We all have the full gamut of feelings.

Try embracing them fully... no shame, no guilt. If you're not in that habit, it will feel uncomfortable and weird. You'll probably feel awkward. And it will certainly make you feel vulnerable.

As you'll find out if you stick with it, realness like this, true vulnerability... THEY are your strengths.

"I'll see you down the road."

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 04:06:00 -0700

Saying goodbye can be tough. For me, i's got such a definitive endpoint to it. Like, this is it. And when I really think about it, it's also saying something to the effect of, "I might not ever see you again."

But in watching the movie Nomadland, I was left with another possibility.

What if when leaving your presence, there were a knowing that I will see you again... I simply don't know when. Whether it's in a day, week, month, year, or in the next lifetime... there really is no such thing as an endpoint, a goodbye.

Perhaps instead it's, "I'll see you down the road."

I like that much better. Brings so much peace to my heart.

🤔🤔 What do you think?

Want the truth on your side, or would you rather hide behind falsehoods?

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 04:05:00 -0700

This conversation started for me inside of an interview I watched - Tucker Carlson interviewing Jordan Peterson. It made me start thinking about all the layers of the truth. Where does it start, and where does it end?

Are you in the habit of telling the truth - about everything?

It can be a bit like ripping off the band-aid, and dealing directly with what's underneath, rather than leaving the band-aid in place, covering up what's there, and letting the wound underneath fester (I love that word, "fester"!)

🙃🙃 What has been an unintended consequence of not telling the truth in your life?

What’s your level of willingness to be wrong?

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 04:02:00 -0700

The universe has a way of telling you when you might be wrong. When it lines things up time and time again that feel like they are punching you in the face... perhaps it's time to consider that the way YOU are being is at cause.

You don't have to do that. You can keep on fighting, arguing, being in againstness, but it does get tiring... eventually.

And at some point, you realize that it is easier, even empowering, to give someone else what they want, and to drop the againstness. Aka. admit you were wrong. Change course. Move the other way.

It's the road less traveled for sure. But it's usually the honorable one.

Try it on... see if it fits.

😎😎 Where have you found yourself stuck, arguing time and again for your "rightness", justifying your reasons?

👆 👉 Have something bugging you that you'd like to get off your chest? DM me to schedule some time.

Start first with "Be...", the "How..." comes later.

Mon, 26 Jul 2021 04:00:00 -0700

Most of us look around at our life, see things that are not working, and immediately jump to answer the question, "How do I get that?"

We want the checklist, the to-do list to give us the answer to what is missing.

When you're asking How? first, it's a sign that you've missed a step.

The how changes depending on who you're being... which is what's at the root, core, base level.

Who would you have to be to have the result you desire show up the way you want it to in your life? That answer will inform your how, and will give you, in time, your to-do list.

🤲 Questions for reflection - What's the result you want? Who would you have to be to have it?
🤝 📧 In a relationship or career you're struggling with? Message me if you'd like to talk about it.

To ice or not to ice? That is not the only question.

Sat, 24 Jul 2021 05:58:00 -0700

I've been talking about this for MANY years.

Does ice work for injuries? These are the cases where it does: a severed limb, a temporary reduction in pain (from numbing), a reduction in inflammation to reduce pain.

Where does it not work? EVERYWHERE ELSE for EVERYTHING ELSE.

Yes, you should stop using ice for all your little aches and pains, and for speeding up healing... it doesn't do this, in fact, it slows it down.

Watch the video for more details.

And don't take my word for it. Try it out... see what works for you.

As with just about everything in life, adopt a mindset that has YOU in the driver's seat, acting as the CEO of your own life. Listen to advisors, but take responsibility for your decisions.

It's the only way to maintain your integrity and stay out of victim mindset.

❓🤔 So... what do you think? Need to learn more? YES! Read the NYT article "Ice for Sore Muscles, Think Again."

👀 🕵️‍♂️ Where have you been following, not leading? Where have you been allowing others to dictate your decisions and actions? Where could you use a dose of self-leadership?

Self-Expectations - if they never turn off, they can f*** you up!

Thu, 22 Jul 2021 05:53:00 -0700

Questions for thought...

👉 Does driving yourself as hard as you do, as consistently that you do it, actually helping you?

✌️ Do you have a bottomless pit of self-expectations? A standard that no matter how hard you try, you'll never live up to?

🤨 Do you let that part of you lead all the time?

😫 Have you noticed how much of a mental, emotional, and physical toll that takes on you and your loved ones?

🤗 Might it be good, and a relief, to take your foot off the gas for a bit, and ENJOY yourself and your life? 🤙Can you even do that?

🖐Want to talk about this, or anything else related to your relationship or career? DM me...

When is enough, enough?

Mon, 19 Jul 2021 05:51:00 -0700

How long must you endure the suffering before you decide enough is enough?

For me in my marriage, it was over 15 years. It didn't NEED to take that long, but I guess I just had an incredibly high tolerance for inner pain and suffering, until I finally had enough... and decided to take full responsibility for my marriage being exactly the way I want it to be.

And low and behold, when I became the person I always wanted to be in the relationship, everything changed!

The questions for you to grapple with...

🤔 How long do YOU want to suffer?

😠😡🤬 What's been niggling at you, bothering, annoying, and perhaps even making you angry or resentful - and causing your inner suffering... and how long do you want to stay stuck there?

The four phases of mastery... and the long road to “getting there..."

Sat, 17 Jul 2021 06:49:00 -0700

Information isn't the problem. Knowledge isn't either. The answer isn't in reading another book, or learning another system.

When it comes to habit formation, ACTION is where it's at. What are you doing each day to move closer to being the person you've always wanted to be? Are you showing up?

The question is, what works FOR YOU? What's going to get you to the fourth phase of mastery - unconscious competence?

For me, the Whole Life Challenge is one of the things I use to keep myself on track. In spite of the fact that I've been the Challenge now for over 8 years, there are still habits that I have to bring to the forefront of my brain and remain conscious of and accountable for, or they will drop out of existence. That's how I know that these things are still in the realm of the third phase of mastery - conscious competence.

The WLC does something else for me... it helps me remember the other things, the things that are not part of the Challenge, habits that I want more of (or less of) that I want to keep in my conscious awareness in order to have more of what I want in my life.

🟢 🟢 So the real question is this... what structure do you have now, or want to consider using in the future, in order to keep yourself accountable and solidly on the path? A group program, community, coach, challenge, best friend, or anyone willing to hold your feet to the fire are all great ways to make that happen. 🥰

⛔⛔ You know a surefire way FAIL to achieve this level of mastery with any habit, no matter how small? Go forward without any sort of structure or accountability.😵

Are you in RESISTANCE? Here’s how to tell if you are.

Thu, 15 Jul 2021 16:49:15 -0700

Resistance is the thing that we do to avoid being outside of our comfort zone.

We don't necessarily do it consciously.

Here's what Steven Pressfield says about it... "Resistance is an impartial force of nature, like gravity and the laws of thermodynamics. Resistance is clever. It knows if it personalizes its manifestations, it can deceive us and slip past our defenses."

There are 12 indicators - any of which can mean you're in resistance of something you say you really want. Some of them are pretty innocuous, even reasonable (doesn't everyone have no time, or forget?)

But don't kid yourself... if you're saying even just one of these to. yourself about something you really want in your life, you are in resistance with a capital "R".

🌺 Which one of the 12 is most prevalent for you?

🌺 What are you resisting?

🌺 Join my private FB group called VITALIZE - where we meet to talk about things related to optimizing your mind, body, heart, and spirit! facebook.com/groups/vitalizeforfreedom

The 3 most important questions you can ask yourself every day.

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 07:54:00 -0700

Who are you?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?

Does it get any simpler than that? Simple, yes. Easy, no. But practicing answering these questions every day will lead you down a path to self-mastery and personal leadership that will elevate your game, inspire those around you, and create a new version of you that will transform your life.

❣️ 👉 So... how about it... Who are you? Where are you going? Why are you going there?

How being best as you are today is good enough

Mon, 05 Jul 2021 07:52:00 -0700

No Productivity Tool or App Will Help This

Sat, 03 Jul 2021 07:00:00 -0700

You want to be more productive?

Here's the truth... the latest and greatest app, system, or program won't help without something else in place. Trust me, I've tried them all.

It's not that a new system or app is bad or wrong or doesn't have a good idea for a new, fresh approach.

If you're suffering from a lack of success or productivity around getting the things done that you know need to be done, the solution is not "out there" somewhere. And the problem is also not out there somewhere.

The problem AND solution are both "inside of you".

You've got to want it, and be willing to use strength, discipline and focus to get it, to change it. No app in the world can make that happen... can they help, sure, but the bottom line is that it all comes down to one thing, YOU.

🤷 Can you relate?

🔔🔔 Want to join a group of people, committed to VITALIZING their lives? Check out my private FB Group [link in bio] facebook.com/groups/vitalizeforfreedom

No place to go. No time to get there

Thu, 01 Jul 2021 03:30:00 -0700

GET INTO THE GAME!

Tue, 29 Jun 2021 06:30:00 -0700

Remember what it was like to be a kid?

Everything was new... life was an adventure... and you were in it to explore, learn, be curious, all while having fun in the process.

Do have anything in your life today that feels that way? Because if you don't, the I would suggest that you're not "in the arena".

If you want to feel alive, you've got to get off the sidelines and get on the dance floor. Whether that means literally or otherwise. Find something that interests you, and get super curious... and whatever you do, let go of your need to 'already know' the answer before you begin. That spoils all the adventure, and fun!

🎢 🎢 What's something you're interested in trying that would invite curiosity and get you adventuring and exploring?

🎯 Join a group of people committed to this journey in my FB Group (link in bio). facebook.com/groups/vitalizeforfreedom

Detach from the outcome to get more of what you want.

Sun, 27 Jun 2021 05:43:00 -0700

This is my story about how I wound up getting the COVID vaccine on Sunday.

I was totally detached from the outcome.

Perhaps this way of thinking can help you in those areas of your life where you're stuck, feeling trapped, and not experiencing true freedom.

💫💫 Where might you experience more emotional freedom by letting go of the outcome?

👉👉 Join my private FB group. www.facebook.com/groups/vitalizeforfreedom

If you aren’t staying in the moment, you are leaving it.

Sat, 26 Jun 2021 07:41:00 -0700

Had a revelation this morning. During my morning meditation in my Vitalize group(link in bio), I read "the thought of the day", upon which I pontificate during the guided part of the meditation.

The thought today was "if you aren't staying in the moment, you are leaving it." And, well... leaving the moment IS the point... not getting stuck in what is now the past by staying in the moment.

It's a little crazy, this talk about time, but I find it fascinating, deep, and a great path toward ultimately finding freedom.

🤔🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️🤔 What do you think? Stay in the moment, or leave it?

Join my private Facebook group here: www.facebook.com/groups/vitalizeforfreedom

Courage To Be Your Best Self

Thu, 24 Jun 2021 16:41:26 -0700

I've been on a FB Live roll lately... and it's because I've been pushing myself outside of my comfort zone... to play it small, hide, be victimized by imposter syndrome, cave in to my fears of not being good enough.

And each time I do it, I remove one little brick from the wall that is my ego that has taken me 50 years to build.

So I'm going to keep doing it... one brick at a time. One piece of evidence a day that proves to myself that I AM enough, I CAN make a difference, I AM worthy.

Today, this is ONE action that I'm doing to build on my belief in ME.

👉 What's one thing YOU can do today?

On Overthinking

Thu, 10 Jun 2021 08:39:00 -0700

Ever have the experience that the answer you're looking for is right in front of your face, but you just can't see it?

For me, it's usually best to figure out how to lighten the fuck up... let my inner light shine rather than smothering it with a shit-ton of thoughts and complications.

KISS - Keep it simple, stupid

How uncertainty and change is Normal

Wed, 09 Jun 2021 08:38:00 -0700

Even when you think you're clear, others might not think so

Tue, 08 Jun 2021 08:37:00 -0700

Sometimes it takes attention, time, and a willingness to slow down

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 08:35:00 -0700

Seek to understand

and

S-L-O-W D-O-W-N

vi·tal·ize /ˈvīdlˌīz/ (v.) give strength and energy to

Sun, 06 Jun 2021 08:34:00 -0700

Just started a new private group in Facebook. Actually it's not an entirely "new" group. It's my meditation group with a new "skin".

And for me, VITALIZE really speaks volumes. From it's definition "to give strength and energy to", to the way it sounds, and the feeling it creates inside when I hear it. It covers everything.

The meditation in the group has been wonderful... It's a big part of the whole picture, but a part, nonetheless.

So this is a place for a bigger, broader conversation - about life and all its challenges... and about rising... the journey... and moving through it together.

We'll still have live meditations on weekdays, but also in the group will be conversations about things like emotional fitness, relationships, clarity of mind, mental focus, mindset, morning routines, fasting, workouts, nutrition, etc.

👉 INTERESTED?? Join us there! [link in bio] www.Facebook.com/groups/vitalizeforfreedom

The future can't blame the present, just like the present can't blame the past.

Sat, 05 Jun 2021 08:29:00 -0700

"The future cannot blame the present, just as the present cannot blame the past."

Get out of your past... when you get stuck there, it's depressing. AND... get out of your future... when you're stuck there, it's worrying!

Guess what... NEITHER of these two places actually exist anywhere but in your mind. And that's good news... because that usually means you have the power to get yourself out of a depressed or anxious (worried) state... and that's called being empowered!

☄️ You relate?

☄️ I have a new group where we talk about stuff like this and lots more. Join us https://www.facebook.com/groups/vitalizeforfreedom

Don't let your fear get the best of you.

Fri, 04 Jun 2021 08:27:00 -0700

I’ve been seeing the pattern i have... of holding back, being stingy, afraid of the self-judgment I’d have for screwing it up or getting it wrong.

So I’m live today talking about it and outing myself... and I encourage you to do the same in your own way.

I don't know.

Thu, 03 Jun 2021 08:26:29 -0700

What if you were 5% less concerned about how you’re being perceived by others?

What would you do?

What's your ONE THING?

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 17:15:00 -0700

Will you give yourself permission to experiment… and perhaps get it wrong?

Will you give yourself the chance to get outside your comfort zone?

What area of self-care do you WANT to… are you WILLING to experiment on/with?

Might just be ONE thing… and THAT is okay!

🐢 🐇 What’s YOUR one thing? Post in comments…

What you can measure, you can manage.

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 12:14:53 -0700

What are you willing to measure today?

What area of your life would you like to make progress in? Pick something in that area… and measure it. TODAY.

I know it takes courage and boldness. But just do it… find out where you are… today. Thank me later!

✨🌟Let us know in comments what YOU are going to measure.

Life. Death. And getting to choose how you're going to be alive.

Fri, 28 May 2021 11:08:00 -0700

Do you let life dictate the rules?

Do you let your fear of dying rob you of your aliveness, joy, love?

Life is a mystery... you don’t know how it’s going to play out or end... and to think you do is crazy. The mystery of it IS the special sauce!

✨🌟 Has Covid robbed you of your life? If you’re reading this, YOURE NOT DEAD YET. But if you’re living as if you are and want to get your LIFE back... hit me back with a DM so we can schedule some time to talk.

Does work really have to be hard for it to "count"?

Thu, 27 May 2021 17:07:00 -0700

Up until now, I’ve operated with the belief that work is the only thing that really counts. By work, I mean work itself, but I also mean the difficulty of what I’m doing in something like reading, working out, a sport (mtb, ski, climb, run, kayak, etc).

If it’s not work in the traditional sense - in the office, on the computer, making a phone call, talking to clients, then I’m just wasting my time, fucking off, and it doesn’t and won’t really matter or make a difference. I’m just slacking.

And if a sport, workout, book, etc. hasn’t been hard enough, hasn’t caused me to stretch and to grow, to think, then the way my ego/brain/protector controller interprets it is that it wasn’t something that measured up and was a waste of time.

I’m just starting to realize that this way of thinking has been robbing me of my aliveness, my ability to love and appreciate time spent doing things that are not work, and are not hard. I can’t ever fully love or appreciate time off when I put all “time off time” in the category of “you could have been working…”

✅ Can you relate? Post in comments.

👉 have a problem like this too? Message me.

✅ want to expire life’s opportunities and mysteries? 🍎 Follow me, and 👉👉schedule a call

Slowing down to the speed of thanks and love

Thu, 27 May 2021 07:05:00 -0700

Be thankful on Thanksgiving!

But when it REALLY counts is when you get triggered. How quickly can you pull yourself back into your beautiful place?

Can you slow yourself down to the speed of thanks, of love, of gratitude for all the blessings in your life. Truly. For the sake of your family... For the sake of the world... and For the sake of YOU!

Disconnected? Then connect!

Wed, 26 May 2021 17:04:00 -0700

Are you someone that says, “I really need to connect more deeply with my family, my kids, my friends.”

Or are you someones that knows the above to be true, though you don’t say it?

In either case, every Friday afternoon you have a great opportunity to create some space in your weekend to do it.

* Pick up the phone and call an old friend.
* Shut the TV off during dinner and have a conversation with you family.
* Go for a walk with you partner…NO PHONES.
* If someone you know is having a birthday, instead of posting on their Facebook feed, give them a surprise phone call.

EVERYONE benefits from heart-felt connection - both the initiator and the receiver. Give it a shot… no text, no email… real connection this weekend.

👉Let me know below in comments what you’re going to do, or what you did.

👉👉 And if you want more life, leadership, and inspirational content like this, follow me @andypetranek on Instagram and Facebook

On quieting your mind

Wed, 26 May 2021 07:01:00 -0700

Want to start to declutter your mind?

Meditate… even if it’s just for 5 breaths.

The impact on your mind and your mental / emotional state over time will be immeasurable.

Sometimes starting a practice like this is hard on your own… it was for me, anyway. The only reason I succeeded about 20 years ago was because I was doing it live, with a group of people at the then Santa Monica Zen Center.

If you’d like a group to do it with, live in Facebook? Join my group at facebook.com/groups/vitalizeforfreedom

We meet weekdays at 7:45am Pacific for a live meditation.

Whether you join us or not, do yourself a favor and give it a shot. It might just change your life!

👉Tag someone who you think would benefit from this

On doing what REALLY matters to you

Tue, 25 May 2021 16:53:00 -0700

Are you stuck on the treadmill of life?

You CAN get off.

But it won’t happen by itself, on its own.

You’ve got to ask yourself questions.

👉What truly matters to me?
👉What do I REALLY want?
👉What am I doing that 👉DOESN’T make me happy?
👉What’s distracting me from my life’s mission?

And then you’ve got to take action. Because a good idea without action is just mental wheel-spinning.

What treadmill are you on that you’d like to get off? What tricks you by sucking you into something that won’t truly make your life better?

👊 tell me about it below in comments

Fit and Healthy people are harder to kill

Tue, 25 May 2021 08:51:00 -0700

Fit and healthy people are harder to kill.

Do you agree?

When in modern history has that statement been more relevant than today?

In what ways could you make yourself harder to kill?

Nothing comes without a cost… what will you have to be willing to give up to make yourself more kill-proof? (Netflix? Sleeping in? Sugar, bread, pasta? Late night work/emailing?)

What is your lack of fitness or health currently costing you?

Ponder it… and post a comment below👇

Don't look to fix. Look FIRST to see and feel.

Mon, 24 May 2021 16:51:23 -0700

If you’ve got a problem in your life - a REAL problem - with a relationship, job, family member, your bank account, or even with your body…

… And you’re asking yourself, “How do I fix this? What are the steps? What is the solution?”

You’re starting out by asking the WRONG QUESTIONS.

Have you ever noticed that you’ve been asking these questions forever, and they never lead to you getting your problem fixed?

There’s a reason for that…

You skipped the first step…

Because it’s the hardest one… the one that makes ALL the difference.

The first step is to SEE CLEARLY how YOU are responsible for your problem. Open your eyes as wide as you can. See it from all perspectives. Magnify it, slow it down, study it. You know how it affects you… but have you seen and felt how it affects others in THEIR life? Look at that too.

Oh… and FEEL it… let it seep into your heart - your second brain. Experience the pain from all perspectives. Let it fill you… so that you REALLY get it. Feel all the emotions that go along with the problem.

Yes… I know… it’s tough… it’s the hardest step.

And it’s the most important.

This is the step that Scrooge HAD TO go through first… BEFORE he figured out how to fix his problem. He had to own it fully… see it clearly at the beginning, middle, and end.

Don’t believe me? No worries… skip it… and see what happens. My bet is you’ll be living in some version of “Groundhog Day” until you go back to this step. It’s where all the juice is and the real transformation lies.

So, let me ask you… where are you looking for the fix, and skipping this first step? Want to talk about it? Click the link in my bio to schedule a call.

Oughta Coulda Woulda Shoulda

Thu, 20 May 2021 09:30:00 -0700

“I oughta have, do, or be…”

Really?

If you oughta, you woulda.

But you don’ta, so whatcha talkin’ about?

Ha! I had a good time writing that...

We all have a part of us that thinks we deserve more than what we have.

We don’t.

We have exactly what we’re committed to.

And the sooner you stop living in that fantasyland and start telling yourself the truth, the sooner you get unstuck…

… And the sooner you can get on with creating the version of you that you’ve always dreamed of!

Want to really make a difference? Make it PERSONAL.

Wed, 19 May 2021 19:34:00 -0700

All the talk about how shitty the world is - how we’re disconnected, divided, polarized, angry, impatient, unforgiving, etc - is NOT making the world a better place. Sure, it’s raising awareness. But ask yourself a question… ARE YOU ALREADY AWARE?If the answer is YES… then you don’t need to get more aware.

You know what you need to do?

Make it PERSONAL.

What are YOU going to do. TODAY. To make it different in YOUR life, with YOUR spouse, with YOUR family, with YOUR colleagues.How are YOU going to be more patient, forgiving, understanding, kind, compassionate, vulnerable?When you get triggered today (because it WILL happen), what are you going to do to prevent yourself from traveling down the slippery slope of anger, defensiveness, and upset?

If each of us makes a commitment to do SOMETHING to improve communication, awareness, and the energy we’re giving off… THAT will make a difference.“Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” ~ Margaret Mead
You want CHANGE? Stop watching the news, complaining about how bad things are, looking ‘out there’ at the problems in the world and wishing things would get better.

Instead, choose SOMETHING… ANYTHING to do something different in YOUR LIFE, TODAY. Then we’ll start seeing a change.

A short and simple mobility sequence to get unstuck in your body

Wed, 19 May 2021 18:55:00 -0700

This one might be better watching on Youtube: Click this link to check it out

To see all my other videos on Youtube and subscribe to my Channel, click here.

On & Off Switch vs. a Dimmer Switch

Wed, 19 May 2021 18:26:00 -0700

Have you failed in your attempts to start a new habit or quit one that no longer serves you?

Perhaps it’s because you took the dimmer switch approach, rather than using an on/off switch.

Here’s what I mean.

When rules for your new habit are simple, clear, easy to follow, and black and white, in spite of it seeming like it would be harder, it’s actually easier for you to manage the change in your life.

This can apply to anything - alcohol, food, sleep, bedtime, wake up time, meditation, exercise, Netflix, porn, social media, etc.

Anything that you want to create new... see if you can put it in context for yourself of yes/no, on/off, I am/do this, or I am not/don’t do that.

My suspicion? You’ll be more likely to succeed.

How does this apply to you? Lemme know your thoughts or questions in comments👇

What you appreciate, appreciates!

Wed, 19 May 2021 17:57:00 -0700

Do you minimize your wins? Do you swallow them up right after they occur, saying something like, “well, yeah, it might have been a win, but it wasn’t as big as ______, and it could have been better, bigger”?That’s what I do. I’ll have the inner knowing in the moment that whatever it was I did (something teeny-tiny all the way up to something really huge), was AWESOME, MAGICAL, MEANINGFUL, WORTHY, ALIGNED, BREAKTHROUGH.

But immediately after, I send that feeling down the trash chute… attributing that which occurred as ordinary, normal, not as good as someone else’s, uneventful, no big deal, just another thing that happened… quickly forgetting the magical, wonderful, and marvelous power that celebrating and appreciating.So I’m turning over a new leaf today. I’m making a habit of celebrating #wins… no matter how big or how small… whether they were meaningful to anyone else or not. As what appreciate appreciates.

Acceptance is not an invitation to settle!

Wed, 19 May 2021 17:24:39 -0700

Do you find yourself in a constant state of "mediocre-ness"? Not that it's bad to have a mediocre life... but it's definitely not great, nor is it extraordinary.

Are you okay that it's mediocre? Or have you just accepted it... settled for it? Has your mediocre morass just become a habit?

Because it doesn't have to be this way.

But to change it, you're going to have to get some leverage over yourself.

You're going to have to magnify the area that is just okay and find how it really doesn't work for you... the cost of it not being great.

It's only through this that you'll be able to give yourself a reason to show up through the discomfort of making this sort of change... through the okay-ness of your life.

TGIM!

Mon, 17 May 2021 09:05:00 -0700

Do you wake up saying, Thank God It's Monday? If not... why not?
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You don't have to actually change anything in the physical world to gain this mindset. It's a MINDSET... that means it's how you THINK. And how long does it take you to change your thinking? A split second.
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That doesn't mean you'll all of a sudden WANT to. In fact, your protector/controller, your ego, will very likely tell you the opposite. There is an incredible draw to wallowing in the misery, pity, doubt, anxiety, fear, shame cloud that you're in.
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Don't let it win. Stand up. Shake it out. Do a shift move. Do a little dance, some burpees, squats, or let out a whoop! Shift your energy... and remember that whatever it is you're doing today can be contextualized as SERVICE... which means it's something you GET to do, not something you HAVE to do! It's an opportunity, not a chore. Shift into high gear by shifting your thinking!!
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Let's do this!! "Thank God It's Monday!!" Say it. Mean it!

TGIF? How about TGIM?

Sat, 15 May 2021 16:39:30 -0700

You spend 80% of your day working doing something that pays the bills... but brings you no joy, no satisfaction, no aliveness. Why? Because it's the way you've always done it, you're good at it, it's easy. But happiness? I don't think so.
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What if you could spend 80% of your days doing something you loved, that happened to also be how you earned a living?
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Who knows... perhaps instead of TGIF, it would be Thank Goodness It's Monday! Imagine how one shift like that could change the course of your entire life.
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I want you to know, right here, right now, that it's entirely possible. It just takes a desire, intentionality, a vision, and a commitment to doing the work to make it happen.
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Want to have a conversation about getting unstuck... and creating your work/job/business as something you LOVE? Send me a DM... let's talk.

You go in the direction of what you focus on - so choose what you focus on wisely

Sat, 15 May 2021 16:33:48 -0700

Are you a leader?

If you said no to that question, I'd call you a liar... why? Because EVERYONE is a leader... at the very least, you are leading yourself.

And that's rthe problem now that the debate is over. We are spending all sorts of energy in upset, triggered, angry, criticizing, complaining, judging (not that it's not warranted). We are pulling ourselves and our energy, thoughts, words, and action toward what we really DON'T want more of in our lives.

Why do we do this? It's easier to throw stones than take responsibility, it's addictive, and it's even got a "fun" quality to it (think lookiloos slowing down to see the results of an accident on the freeway).

It's time to step up. To LEAD yourself... in the direction that pulls you forward where you WANT to go. Change the context. Change the conversation. Be the leader that you always knew you could be.

Change It UP! Getting unstuck and having fun doing it.

Tue, 11 May 2021 18:38:07 -0700

Getting unstuck, especially in the moment, isn't hard... it simply takes a willingness to try something different, to experiment, to shake things up, take a contrary action.

It takes courage and strength to get yourself unstuck

Tue, 11 May 2021 18:25:07 -0700

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one."
~ Bruce Lee

The only word I might add to this quote is COURAGE... because it takes courage AND strength to walk down the path less traveled.

If you're feeling stuck... it's time to muster up the courage and strength to take a NEW ACTION... even if that action is simply telling the truth in the privacy of your own journal.

What's the real, raw, and relevant TRUTH about your situation, your life. For most, it's done such a good job of camouflaging itself that you don't even see it. But when you start to dig, just a little bit beneath the surface, you start to notice the evidence of wear, tear, and a lack of true "aliveness".

Post in comments if you can relate... you know what I'm talking about... and if you'd like to schedule a call to practice starting to tell the truth in a safe space, hit me up with a DM.

Stuck in a marriage or relationship? This episode's for you!

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 16:47:44 -0700

😳 🤯 😢 😖I Are you secretly dealing with the pain, anxiety, loneliness, resentment, and powerlessness of a marriage or relationship that no longer serves you?
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Do you feel trapped or stuck - perhaps because you have kids and you think it's best for them if you just ride it out, together, in an unfulfilling and unloving marriage until at least they go away to college (and yet that's still YEARS away)?
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It doesn't have to be that way.
And you might not even have to split up to get what you want.
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Anything is possible. ❤️ ✨❤️ ✨
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But to make a change, it requires that you do this ONE thing... no matter what... first.
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👉👉👉 This is first step on the journey THROUGH... whatever path or direction that takes.

The sooner you let go of hope, and realize it's HOPELESS, the better!

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 16:46:13 -0700

Listen to this episode if you feel like you're working non-stop and getting nowhere!

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 16:44:03 -0700

On progress, not perfection

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 16:42:20 -0700

No step is too small. It's little actions, practiced consistently over time that makes all the difference.

What's your target?

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 16:41:21 -0700

What outcome do you want? Your outcome, or target, dictates all your actions. If you don't know where you're going, how in the world do you think you'll ever get there? You'd never leave your house in your car without knowing where you're going, so why do you do that in other areas of your life?

On keeping fun, fun... and not letting fun become work!

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 16:39:51 -0700

Show up with the right equipment for the job

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 16:27:00 -0700

Are you showing up with the right equipment for the job - physical yes, but also the "equipment" needed to lead a beautiful life... your mindset, heartset, and soulset? Do you have the right attitude for the job... for the outcome you truly desire? THAT's the question you should be asking.

What are You Waiting For?

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 16:27:00 -0700

I was literally sitting on my couch thinking of all the many reasons why I should NOT start a new podcast, including the biggest one of all - I wasn't ready yet.

That is a line of bullshit that I've been feeding myself since I was about 10 - that I needed to practice and practice and practice some more to perfect whatever it was I was doing so that when it came out, it (and I) would sound smart, polished, and fantastic... and I wouldn't feel embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed, or anything less than awesome for the perfection that would thusly ensue.

I'm still waiting for that moment to arrive...

And rather than continue to wait, I decided to just start. To pull my phone out of my pocket and to record something... anything... that could possibly turn into episode number 1.

This is what came out.

It's a good start... the beginning of something completely new, different, exciting, and best of all, ME.

Here goes nothing... and everything!

Episode 1: What IS this podcast?

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 15:58:00 -0700