Cruisin' for a Reviewsin' - Tom Cruise Movie Reviews

Episode 66 - Meeting Tom Cruise

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 01:18:32 +1000

After a 15 month hiatus, I am back, baby! There's a new Tom Cruise movie out in cinemas & I have a LOT to say about it. But first I need to tell you all about how I got to meet THE Tom Cruise at the Sydney premiere of Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part 1! I am joined by Laurent who was there with me to discuss every last detail of the most exciting day of our lives!

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 65 - Top Gun Maverick LIVE

Tue, 31 May 2022 00:07:59 +1000

In a stunning case of the stars aligning perfectly for me, I wrapped up the filmography of Tom Cruise just before his latest film started showing in cinemas & I got to do my first live episode! What a time to be alive! I got to host a screening of the new Top Gun before sitting down with Ben McLeay in front of a live audience of very attractive people to talk about how sick this film was. We do our best to avoid spoilers & instead talk at great length about G forces, whether the enemy nation was Iran, sick plane stunts & the weird rules in the local Top Gun pub that made absolutely no sense.

Note: We had a lot of crowd participation which I did my best to crank up but some of it's still too hard to hear. You can watch the video to hear all that was said here on instagram.

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 64 - Losin’ It

Fri, 20 May 2022 23:52:10 +1000

We're down to the last film of Tom Cruise's filmography & it's probably one of the more obscure titles that apparently no one has seen or even heard of! I am joined by Frank to discuss this weird, unfunny & yet strangely self aware "teen sex comedy" that we both really enjoyed despite it being truly terrible in every way. Join us as we discuss Tom's youthful beauty, horny cars, Carol Brady kissing teen boys, racist tropes, donkey shows & just how irredeemable the main characters are.

Find Frank on instagram; www.instagram.com/mullet_frank
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

A Quick Update + Live Episode Details

Sun, 15 May 2022 14:05:23 +1000

A super quick update about the delay in releasing the latest episode (hint: it was covid) which also just so happens to be the last film I have left to review! Plus the details for the live episode I'm recording immediately after my special screening of Top Gun Maverick! If you're in Brisbane on May 26th, you should come along! Get tickets here:

events.humanitix.com/twobittopgun

Minisode 25 - Austin Powers, Shrek & Fashion chat

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 02:08:25 +1000

Tom Cruise doesn't do cameos except for that one time he did in Austin Powers Goldmember, portraying Austin Powers himself. Emma & I discuss this hilarious segment of a very silly film franchise as well as Shrek & the evolution of fashion since the 60s. Very random but very fun!

Follow Emma's on Facebook or Instagram.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 63 - Endless Love

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 00:02:10 +1000

As we draw super close to the end of Tom Cruise's filmography, we're finally watching the 1st film he was ever cast in which is absolutely god awful. He has only one scene (where he squeezes in a surprising amount of Tom Cruisisms) & the rest of the film is absolute trash. Join Emma & I as we mock this film mercilessly & discuss a variety of topics such as how Brook Shields was exploited from a very young age, how the 80s were just kind of cooked in general, running in denim, horny mum's & how you'd be better off if you dumped your boyfriend.

Follow Emma's on Facebook or Instagram.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 62 - Rain Man (part 2)

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 15:50:25 +1000

Lauren & I finish off our review of this film in our usual casual, meandering style, with lots more Autism chat. We also discuss our love of KMart undies, farts, our thoughts on Forrest Gump & that time Tom Cruise dated queer icon, Cher! Once again, this is your WARNING that we swear a lot in this episode so please don't be mad at us, It's called self expression, Helen!

Find Lauren on instagram: @laurenstardust
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 61 - Rain Man (part 1)

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 15:20:44 +1000

It's finally time to tackle the film I had the most apprehension about. But luckily I am joined once again by Lauren who was diagnosed with ASD in the last year & was able to give lots of great insight into their experience with autism & what this film got right & wrong. Join us as we also discuss tiffs with dads, women in sneakers, hating billionaires, Titanic theatre restaurants & much more. WARNING: There's lots of swearing in this episode, like way more than usual. You've been warned!

Find Lauren on instagram: @laurenstardust
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 60 - The Firm (part 2)

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 22:21:07 +1000

Scott & I wrap up our review of this slick Grisham adaption where Tom Cruise spends a lot of it running for his life. For a film that has such a non-sexy conclusion (unless you think mail fraud is sexy, I suppose), it's really bloody enjoyable from start to end. Join us as we talk more about the appeal of Tom Cruise & why the couch thing wasn't a big deal, how we wish JK Rowling would piss off, the never ending stream of Marvel movies & I remind everyone, yet again, about how much I hate Jeremy Renner.

Find Scott on Twitter @ScottWamplerBMD & check out The Kingcast

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 59 - The Firm (part 1)

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 00:47:47 +1000

In another shocking twist, this week's guest has also seen this film but not for ages so it almost doesn't count, maybe? I am joined by Scott to discuss a film we both really enjoy but oh my god, so much happens! Join us as we discuss everything from time zones (we simply do not understand 'em), the Fast & the Furious franchise, how good a lawyer Tom Cruise would have been if he hadn't gotten into acting, horny grieving, boat explosions, Jigsaw being a creep & much more.

Find Scott on Twitter @ScottWamplerBMD & check out The Kingcast

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 24 - When Maria met Tom Cruise

Tue, 14 Dec 2021 01:51:11 +1000

Maria is back to tell me all about that time she met Tom Cruise! She gives all the goss on how the most famous movie star operates at a film premiere & the differences between a 40 minute interview with Tom & 10ish minutes with Russel Crowe. We also chat about entertainment journalism in general, ageing in Hollywood (including why you shouldn't go to the baseball the day after getting fillers) & lots, lots more!

Find all things Maria Lewis via her website.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 58 - Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 02:38:09 +1000

I'm mixing up the format for this episode by having another guest who has already seen the film & also barely discussing the film at all. I am joined by Maria Lewis who absolutely hates this film & explains to me why the 1st Jack Reacher film was so god in her professional opinion. Join us as we discuss internet cafes, big cums, Halloween street parties, pointless daughters, vampires & a million other things that barely relate to this movie.

Find all things Maria Lewis via her website.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 57 - Jack Reacher (part 2)

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 02:03:29 +1000

Nick & I finish up this very silly review of the film that should've been called Mad Lad: Left Right Good Night, this time discussing the concept of drinking someone's blood from a boot, smashing skulls like cans of Pasito, slobberknocker fights in the rain & the fact Jack Reacher definitely would be anti vaxx.

Get Nick to paint your minis via @lefthandpooch
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 56 - Jack Reacher (part 1)

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 19:43:16 +1000

I am joined by Nick for this review which might be one of the most raucous ones yet! We spend 90% of our time screeching with laughter about how silly this film is, including such bizarre topics such as milk cops, dying from a kick in the taint, being forced to eat your own thumbs & man mounds.

Get Nick to paint your minis via @lefthandpooch
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 55 - TAPS (part 2)

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 01:52:12 +1000

As Bart & I conclude our review of TAPS, we realise how much of a bummer this film is! Turns out a film about fanatical youths caught up in the military industrial complex isn't a total hoot. Who knew? Join us as we discuss Toms ripped bod (again), what on earth the National Guard is & how few uniforms they seem to have, psychological warfare & how Scientology made Tom Cruise's voice better.

Find Bart's art on instagram @8.bit.bart
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 54 - TAPS (part 1)

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 01:20:00 +1000

There aren't many Tom Cruise films that have been lost to the ages but TAPS seems to be one of the rare ones that very few people are aware of. I am joined by Bart to discuss this film about a military school & its fanatical students trying to save it from closure. Join us as we discuss rhythmic gun-nastics, the many outfit changes (including an abundance of sashes), children having access to guns & mortars, Sex & the City and war crimes aplenty!

Find Bart's art on instagram @8.bit.bart
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 23 - More Tom Cruise Trivia (but mostly about actors who aren‘t Tom Cruise)

Mon, 06 Sep 2021 20:23:14 +1000

Phoebe is back to share some fun Tom Cruise trivia with me & we get a little bit manic (like, I can barely string my sentences together, oops lol). Join us as we pay out on Robert Downey Jr, Fast & the Furious 9, Tenet, Christopher Nolan & Idris Elba's poor film role choices. We also discuss what we'd let Disney do with our likenesses after we die, how Black Widow really did come out a year too late, Tom Hardy's hilarious accents & like a few Tom Cruise stories peppered throughout.

Check out Phoebe's artwork on her website phoebeparadise.com
Follow Phoebe on Instagram @phoebe.paradise

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 53 - American Made (part 2)

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 14:46:21 +1000

Phoebe & I wrap up our review of American Made by making fun of it & the director Doug Liman a bunch. We also cover the complete lack of vice in a film that's literally about smuggling drugs into the US during the 80s, shoehorning in references to US presidents for no good reason, how poorly the women fare in this story & how Tom Cruise is a big neat freak.

Check out Phoebe's artwork on her website phoebeparadise.com
Follow Phoebe on Instagram @phoebe.paradise

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 52 - American Made (part 1)

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 01:35:28 +1000

I've talked a lot about how Tom Cruise almost exclusively picks action movies to star in these days but there has been one exception; this movie! I am joined by Phoebe to discuss how little we actually know about 80s North/Central American history, how much we dislike seeing Tom doing sex scenes, Hollywood versions of true stories, plus we randomly (but justifiably) make fun of Matt Damon a lot!

Check out Phoebe's artwork on her website phoebeparadise.com
Follow Phoebe on Instagram @phoebe.paradise

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 51 - The Last Samurai (part 2)

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 14:14:44 +1000

In the 2nd half of my review with Ari, we cover the famous sword fighting scene & the big, final battle, fumbling out way through facts & history! Things also get emotional when we discuss perfect cherry blossoms & Ken Watanabe's beautiful eyes.

Find Ari on instagram: @maxcalifornia_

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 50 - The Last Samurai (part 1)

Mon, 26 Jul 2021 00:25:56 +1000

After a bit of a break, I'm back to review an absolute banger of a film with Ari! This film cops a lot of flack as people assume Tom Cruise is the titular last Samurai (hint: he's not) which is a bummer because it's really bloody good! Join us as we discuss which Samurai we're crushing on, watching Tom Cruise get a face full of mud, how fkd the patriarchy is & our extremely limited knowledge of famous battles.

Find Ari on instagram: @maxcalifornia_
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

A quick lil podcast update!

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 19:58:05 +1000

Just a quick update about the podcast & why there hasn't been a new episode for a little while. Basically, I'm still here & excited to finish reviewing Tom Cruise's filmography but with so few films left to do, it's taking a little bit longer to organise recording new episodes!

I also divulge my plans for the podcast once I've gotten through his films!

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 22 - Growing up Tom (aka Tom's du jour)

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 01:22:42 +1000

Peter is back to chat about the movies we watched as kids because our mum's fancied one of the starring actors as well as some of the films we saw when we were perhaps a bit too young for them.

The films we specifically discussed, for anyone who might want to check them out, were:

Top Secret
Real Genius
Thunderheart
Willow
Point Break
My Own Private Idaho
The Last Boyscout
Earth Girls Are Easy
Transylvania 6500

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 49 - Tropic Thunder (part 2)

Sun, 23 May 2021 14:44:23 +1000

Peter is back to finish off Tropic Thunder, a movie that could literally only exist in 2008. Join as we continue to mock Justin Theroux's writing credits, continually forget that jack Black was even in this film, shudder when they kick the ableism up another notch, debate which characters we're married to & discuss Tom Cruise's dancing abilities at length.

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 48 - Tropic Thunder (part 1)

Wed, 12 May 2021 01:54:23 +1000

It's time to review one of the least Tom Cruisey films of his filmography, a film that is pretty controversial for a variety of reasons but actually improved Tom's career significantly by proving he doesn't always take himself seriously. I am joined by Peter where we discuss the various offensive elements in this film from Blackface, ableist slurs, punching down when you're already on the top of the pile, Justin Theroux's strange writing credits & just a little bit of Tom Cruise, as it turns out!

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 47 - War of the Worlds (part 2)

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 22:10:41 +1000

I am back with Andrew to finish our review of War of the Worlds where we discuss the divisive ending, why we think the movie didn't do super well (hint: it involves a couch) & why WE think this movie rules before we deviate into discussing our favourite Tom Cruise movies, why we love Tom as an actor/person, our thoughts on Scientology & so much more.

Find Andrew on twitter @IllyBocean or via the Boonta Vista podcast
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 46 - War of the Worlds (part 1)

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 02:16:07 +1000

In a shock twist, this week I am reviewing a movie that my special guest has already seen! I am joined by self-confessed Tomoisseur Andrew who also absolutely bloody loves this movie & is helping me defend it against what we believe to be unfair criticisms of this sci fi masterpiece. We talk a lot about bad dad's, screaming children, cool alien sounds, the 9/11 symbolism & much more.

Find Andrew on twitter @IllyBocean or via the Boonta Vista podcast
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 45 - The Color of Money (part 2)

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 23:06:21 +1000

Ben is back to finish off our review of The Color of Money where there's a big shift in the final third of the film, with the mentor & the protégé parting ways. Join us as we discuss clumsy tantrums, training montages, sweater vests, US winters & dropping the word balabushka into everyday conversations.

Find Ben on twitter @thomas_violence or via the Boonta Vista podcast.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 44 - The Color of Money (part 1)

Mon, 15 Mar 2021 17:06:53 +1000

Did you know Tom Cruise was in a Martin Scorsese movie? Not only that, but a movie about pool? And that it's really bloody good? It sounds preposterous but I promise it's true! Co-starring the incredible Paul Newman, it's about the seedy world of pool hustling. Join Ben McLeay & I as we discuss the rugged sex appeal of Paul Newman, that wonderful Vince t-shirt, how very little we actually know about pool, the video game DOOM & inexplicably, the disaster film The Perfect Storm.

Find Ben on twitter @thomas_violence or via the Boonta Vista podcast.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 21 - Tom Cruise vs Tom Hanks

Mon, 22 Feb 2021 23:00:43 +1000

Imagine if you will, a world where Tom Cruise & Tom Hanks had gotten each other films roles! How many would have worked & how many would have been ruined? Heather & I discuss which films could have had the other Tom in them & which movies would have been so bad they're good with a Tom swap (hunt: Magnolia).

Listen to Heather's podcast Online Moll Patrol via www.onlinemollpatrol.com or on twitter/instagram
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 43 - Lions for Lambs

Mon, 15 Feb 2021 19:53:25 +1000

Well it had to happen, Tom Cruise had to star in a complete dud eventually. Directed by Robert Redford & co-starring Meryl Streep this is an absolute yawn fest about how the War on Terror sucks ass, starring Tom as a slimy Republican senator. Join Heather & I as we do our best to make this snooze fest kinda interesting by dissing it constantly. Look, we tried!

Listen to Heather's podcast Online Moll Patrol via www.onlinemollpatrol.com or on twitter/instagram
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 42 - Minority Report (part 2)

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 00:09:40 +1000

We're back in 2054 to finish our review of 'Minority Report' where we find out whether or not the pre-cogs were right about John being a killer or if there was a redemptive minority report after all. Join Cam & I as we discuss eye transplants, creepy metal spiders, how much Tom Cruise loves holding his breath, Spielbergian plot devices & plenty more.

Find Cam on Twitter @no_3
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 41 - Minority Report (part 1)

Mon, 18 Jan 2021 20:47:53 +1000

This week we find ourselves in the future, in 2054 where murderers are caught before they even do the murder by a special team called 'Pre-Crime'. Yep, it's time to review the excellent Spielberg sci fi hit 'Minority Report'! Cam joins me to discuss the important stuff like wooden balls that simply cannot be tampered with, poorly named liquids, the effect murder has on your "metaphysical" self, whether cops will ever stop being bastards & much more. And that's barely the 1st half of the film!

Find Cam on Twitter @no_3
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 20 - Tom Cruise in Space (& other tidbits)

Tue, 05 Jan 2021 01:00:40 +1000

We have a bonus minisode this week due to it being the holiday period, so I'm joined yet again by Benjamin to have a chat about the IMAX movie Tom Cruise narrated in 2002, his other upcoming space movies, the time he yelled on set, the Tom Cruise Renaissance & other lil bits n pieces.

Find Benjamin on twitter or instagram.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 19 - Can Tom Cruise Do Comedy?

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 01:09:13 +1000

Dave Callan joins me again to discuss whether or not we think Tom Cruise can do comedy. Tom isn't particularly well known for his comedic performances but he has dabbled in it from time to time, most notably in his portrayal of Les Grossman in 'Tropic Thunder'. We discuss the types of comedy we think he could do well & other roles he's played that were unexpectedly funny.

Find Dave Callan on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 40 - Far and Away

Fri, 11 Dec 2020 00:36:15 +1000

You're a corker! I am joined by Dave Callan this week to review the Ron Howard film from 1992 'Far and Away' which was essentially just an excuse for Tom Cruise & his new wife Nicole Kidman to throw each other lusty looks constantly. It's full of bad Irish accents, continuity errors, extremely misplaced comedy & a hilarious incident involving a penny farthing. Join us as we contemplate the idea of Irish people gleefully stealing land from native Americans, punching horses for no good reason, Looney Tunes style SFX & (once again) Tom Cruise's eyebrows.

Find Dave Callan on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 39 - Born on the Fourth of July (part 2)

Tue, 24 Nov 2020 02:17:14 +1000

Allison is back to finish our review of Born on the Fourth of July where this time we delve into the importance of sex work, disability access, how US politics has changed between the late 60s and now and how great it is to hear Tom Cruise scream "BIG ERECT PENIS". We also cover some trivia about the film including a plan to actually paralyse Tom???

Find Allison on both twitter & instagram @infiniteallien
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 38 - Born on the Fourth of July (part 1)

Tue, 17 Nov 2020 16:10:43 +1000

We're back with another of Tom Cruise's war films, but this one is distinctly anti-war this time. Based on the real life story of paralysed Vietnam war vet Ron Kovic, we follow a patriotic young man's journey into becoming a famous anti-war activist. Join Allison & I as we get deep on the problems with war, patriotism, the lack of care available to vets when he they get home from war & much more.

Find Allison on both Twitter & Instagram
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 18 - The Tom Cruise Shared Universe

Mon, 02 Nov 2020 20:59:19 +1000

After reviewing 'All The Right Moves', Bryn and I tried to imagine what came next for his character Stef and came up with the concept of a Tom Cruise Shared Universe! Join us as we haphazardly try to link as many Tom Cruise films together as possible to create new timelines that inevitably turn him into either Ethan Hunt or a vampire.

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 37 - All The Right Moves

Sun, 25 Oct 2020 21:00:00 +1000

We're popping back to the 80s for a very early Tom Cruise film that hasn't stood the test of time quite as well as some of his other classics. Bryn & I delve into the wild world of high school football, hormones, shitty home towns & excessive synths. Did we learn any lessons along the way? Not really. Did we have a lot of laughs though? We sure did!

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 36 - A Few Good Men (part 2)

Sun, 11 Oct 2020 14:02:33 +1000

In our stunning conclusion of A Few Good Men, Ginger & I cover the court case in great detail, tripping over the delivery of the famous lines from the iconic Jack Nicholson scenes. We continue our discussion on how messed up military culture is, why it was important for Demi Moore's character to be female in a sea of angry white men, Tom Cruise's tradition of playing the playboy-character-learns-a-valuable-lesson & much more.

Find Ginger on Twitter @gingerbft & listen to their podcast 'Key Change' on your fave audio platform (or via gingerbfg.com).

Episode 35 - A Few Good Men (part 1)

Tue, 29 Sep 2020 01:32:53 +1000

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Yep it's time for that movie with the very famous line that has been parodied at least 10,000 times in pop culture. Ginger joins me to discuss Aaron Sorkin's 1st screenplay that is honestly way better than it has any right to be considering it's a very serious military legal drama. Please note: We stuff up military & legal jargon at absolutely every turn while also continuously scoffing at the obsession with "codes" and calling people sir, so be warned if you're a military aficionado because you're gonna get so mad at us, lol!

Find Ginger on Twitter @gingerbft & listen to their podcast 'Key Change' on your fave audio platform (or via gingerbfg.com).
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 17 - Interview with the Camp-vire

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 18:50:33 +1000

If you enjoyed the discussion about how homoerotic Top Gun was then you're probably going to like this minisode! Ava & I discuss Lestat and Louis' relationship, debating how queer they actually were & how different the film might have been if made now & not the deeply homophobic early 90s. Join us as discuss their toxic relationship, obsessive love, loss & other vampiry things!

Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 34 - Interview with the Vampire (part 2)

Mon, 07 Sep 2020 16:40:54 +1000

Ava & I are back with part 2 of Interview with the Vampire where we whinge about Louis some more before Lestat makes his stunning comeback(s). Join us as we delve into the wild world of how Tom Cruise prepares himself for film roles, the special/makeup effects, how much it would have cost Brad Pitt to leave the film & we discover a brand new Tom Cruisism!

Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 33 - Interview with the Vampire (part 1)

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 20:01:02 +1000

If ever there was a role that Tom Cruise absolutely smashed, defying all expectations as a Hollywood mega star, it has to be 1994's Interview with the Vampire. I am joined by Ava who is well versed in vampire lore, to discuss this dramatic, visually pleasing and often homoerotic film co-starring Brad Pitt and Kirstin Dunst. Join us as we cover vampire stereotypes, the morality of feeding upon racists and endlessly complain about Louis and his complaining,

Find Ava on Twitter & Instagram
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 16 - Was Top Gun Queer on Purpose?

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 02:08:13 +1000

We all know that volleyball scene was pretty dang homoerotic, but what about the rest of Top Gun? Josie & I explore the queer undercurrent of the 80s action classic after enjoying a deep dive on the topic by feminist write Clementine Ford.

Josie's podcast is A Hill To Die On or find her on twitter @jsspcr
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com
Artwork for this episode is by Caragh Brooks.

Episode 32 - Top Gun

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 13:42:42 +1000

Taaaake my breath awaaaayyyyyy! Yes folks, we're finally reviewing the film from which my title music comes from; Top Gun! I am joined by Josie who had never seen this giant advert for the military before & was as delighted as I am by the excessively sweaty naked man content! Join us as we delve into the world of FIGHTERTOWN, USA where women are scarce, volleyball is played in jeans, toxic masculinity gets nice people killed, frosted tips everywhere, the antagonist just wanting his team mates to stay alive & so much more.

Find Josie's podcast at @ahilltodieonpod or on twitter @jsspcr
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Podcast art for this episode by Caragh Brooks

Minisode 15 - Mission: Impossible Recapped

Wed, 05 Aug 2020 01:16:10 +1000

Because I couldn't quite let Mission: Impossible go, here is one final minisode dedicated to the franchise before I finally move on. I am joined by Liam who reviewed Valkyrie with me way back in episode 5 to run through all of the best (and worst) bits of the series where we discuss the best stunts and mask reveals, suggest possible replacements for Ethan Hunt if the series continues without Tom Cruise, bitch endlessly about JJ Abrams and rank the film from best to worst.

Find Liam's podcast via @flawlessamp
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 14 - The Future of Mission: Impossible

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 14:55:18 +1000

Now that all of the Mission: Impossible films have been reviewed, it's time to speculate about the two upcoming films that are currently being filmed simultaneously! Join Britt and I as we discuss possible locations, threats, villains and, of course, dizzying stunts and whether or not they'll involve tanks or bicycles.

Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 31 - Mission: Impossible Fallout (part 2)

Wed, 22 Jul 2020 13:19:28 +1000

It's here! The stunning conclusion to the review of the greatest Tom Cruise film ever made; Fallout! Britt and I wrap up the incredible end of the film (involving nuclear bombs, shocking returns from the past, helicopters, getting Harvey Dented and fist fights on cliff tops) before giving it our RECORD BREAKING reviews and chucking in some slash fan fiction at the end for good measure. BAM BAM!

Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 30 - Mission: Impossible Fallout (part 1)

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 18:40:19 +1000

We're finally here! The latest Tom Cruise film, the 6th in the M:I franchise, the very one that turned me into the Tom Cruise superfan I am today: Fallout! I am joined by Britt who has been watching the movies for the 1st time along with the podcast, who thankfully had as much fun as I did with this absolute banger of a film. Join us as we go through every stunt in minute detail, compare parts of the movie to Dumb & Dumber, Batman and Tap Dogs and that infamous fistcock moment.

Find Britt on instagram: @brittamon
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 13 - How Mission: Impossible 2 Killed Napster

Mon, 06 Jul 2020 02:39:05 +1000

Back in the year 2000, Metallica's song "I Disappear" was to feature on the M:I 2 soundtrack but months before it was due to be released, radio stations were already playing it. And thus the epic law suit of Metallica vs Napster, the early P2P program, made history. Jimmy & I discuss this fascinating story of the court case that divided the music industry & has had ongoing ramifications for physical media ever since.

Find Jimmy on Twitter @Roleplay_James or his website gm4hire.com.au
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 29 - Mission Impossible Rogue Nation (part 2)

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 23:30:46 +1000

It's time for part 2 of my in depth discussion of M:I Rogue Nation with Jimmy! There are high speed chases with surprising amount of comedy, motorcycle crashes, deception, Benji Bombs, masks and romance?! Join us as we finish off this wonderful movie together and start getting excited for Fallout!

Find Jimmy on Twitter @Roleplay_James or his website gm4hire.com.au
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 28 - Mission Impossible Rogue Nation (part 1)

Tue, 23 Jun 2020 00:47:42 +1000

It's time for the incredible 5th installment of the M:I series and this time I'm joined by Jimmy who helps me do a deep dive into this film! From the mind boggling stunts involving airplanes, free diving, opera theaters and a big metal pole, we go through the 1st half of the film with a fine tooth comb, discussing how the series has changed since it's humble beginnings in 1996.

Find Jimmy on Twitter @Roleplay_James or his website gm4hire.com.au
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 12 - A non-comprehensive list of action movies to watch

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 15:12:43 +1000

After reviewing M:I Ghost Protocol with me, Chloe asked me for a list of action movies she should watch, which we then made into a podcast episode coz why not? This list is FAR from comprehensive, I just focus on my favourites which are predominantly American because I didn't want to overwhelm everyone by getting into the world of, say, martial arts action films.

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 27 - Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol (part 2)

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 14:55:20 +1000

Chloe is back to finish reviewing the very fine, very action paced Ghost Protocol, the 4th film in the M:I series. We continue our discussion on how hot Tom Cruise looks while distressed, how dreadful Jeremy Renner is, who makes the dresses for the female IMF agents and international car parks.

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 26 - Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol (part 1)

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 16:31:19 +1000

Mission Impossible is back, baby! After a short break between the M:I films, I am joined by Chloe to discuss the 4th film in the franchise; Ghost Protocol. Arguably one of the best M:I films with one of the most iconic stunts (ie. Tom Cruise scaling the tallest building in the world), this film is HUGE. Join us as we discuss the first half of the film which involves Russian prisons, the permanent addition of Benji, how good Tom looks in a shiny blue suit & the perfect revenge.

Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 11 - The greatest Tom Cruise film that never was

Mon, 25 May 2020 02:16:47 +1000

Join Benjamin and I as we delve into the fascinating story of the Guillermo del Toro/Tom Cruise/James Cameron Lovecraftian film that never happened. It would have been a big budget, R rated horror film about an ancient civilisation that essentially created human life as we know it with sentient black goo... umm yep, Prometheus was absolutely the main reason why this movie never got made, sadly. Ben also explains why else it never came to be, plus we discuss the ethics of adapting Lovecraft this day and age.

Find Ben on twitter: @benjungles or instagram: @toontownexpress
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 25 - The Outsiders

Mon, 18 May 2020 20:24:30 +1000

This week I am rejoined by my husband Benjamin because I realised he had never seen the 1983 classic 'The Outsiders'! Based on a book many teenagers read in high school (myself included), it's a classic tale of the poor underdog kids vs the horrible rich kids. Join us as we discuss a film that features minimal Tom Cruise but makes up for it with plenty of other 80s heart throbs before they were famous. Plus we declare allegiance with the Greasers & talk about chocolate cake a LOT.

Find Ben on twitter: @benjungles
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 10 - Tom Cruise Hentai

Thu, 14 May 2020 13:53:59 +1000

Lauren is back for a minisode where we discuss the time she purchased Tom cruise hentai manga for me while in Japan. We discuss the different comics she bought, what hentai is (for those not in the know), Japan's love of self-published fan fic & end on some exciting Tom Cruise news! Also we're very mean to Elon Musk.

WARNING: This episode contains references to various kinds of porn which may not be for everyone. Also, I apologise for the sound quality in this episode as it's nowhere near my usual standard.

Find Lauren on instagram/twitter/facebook: @laurenstardust
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 24 - Collateral (part 2)

Tue, 05 May 2020 15:22:12 +1000

Join Lauren & I once more as we finish off our review of Michael Mann's 'Collateral'. This week we continue with many tangents about films that are kind of relevant, Brisbane night clubs, old mobile phones & how thirsty we are for Tom in sweats & with long hair. Plus many more facts about how this film was made coz it genuinely is very interesting!

Find Lauren on all of the socials @laurenstardust
Find my socials via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 23 - Collateral (part 1)

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 14:23:03 +1000

Because we're all in isolation, I decided to pause my M:I series for a short while & have brought back former guest Lauren to discuss Collateral! Join us as we discuss the 1st half of the film, including how how & awful Tom Cruise is, how wholesome Jamie Foxx is, the ethics of being a hit man & a whole bunch of other films vaguely related to Collateral. Also, stay tuned for the new hit film Catalogue, the Flat Pack Assassin.

Find Lauren on all of the socials @laurenstardust
Find my socials via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 9 - What To Watch During a Pandemic

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 18:52:40 +1000

So you're living through a pandemic & have to stay home as much as possible, what do you do? Watch movies, of course! Taylor returns to discuss my list of movies about pandemics, illnesses, zombies & the plague that I have either watched or want to watch. It's enough to make you never want to leave the house ever again!

Find Taylor on instagram: @thegodphone
Find my socials via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 22 - Mission Impossible 3 (part 2)

Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:54:41 +1000

We're back to finish off the 3rd installment of the Mission Impossible series! The action keeps getting bigger, the villain badder, the running faster & the teeth whiter. Taylor & I have a blast recounting the incredible bridge scene to the final scene where Ethan Hunt does what he does best (kills the bad guy, runs heaps... you know the drill). And if learning about medical stuff is your bag, Taylor gives us more insight into his profession by breaking down the resuscitation scene! Edutainment!

Find Taylor on instagram: @thegodphone
Find my socials via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 21 - Mission Impossible 3 (part 1)

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 13:58:21 +1000

Let's wash the bitter taste on M:I 2 out of our mouths by blasting our way into Mission Impossible 3! JJ Abrams' feature film debut that literally exploded it's way onto your screen, while still having lots of that cool espionage stuff we loved in the 1st film. I'm joined by Taylor who didn't even know there were more than two M:I films! Join us as we discuss everyone's perfect teeth, mid-2000s technology, interesting fashion choices, nursing no-no's & why Luther is so damn chatty.

Find Taylor on instagram: @thegodphone
Find my socials via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 20 - Mission Impossible 2 (part 2)

Mon, 23 Mar 2020 02:17:52 +1000

If you thought we were mean to the movie in part 1, just wait for the 2nd half! Join Erin & I as we tear apart absolutely everything this film has to offer, from the absurd use of masks (where the hell do they all come from), the amount of Ford Falcon's, the hilarious final fight scene & even the accompanying music video by Metallica!

Find Erin on instagram: @kittyblinggg
Find my socials via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 19 - Mission Impossible 2 (part 1)

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 22:32:10 +1000

It's finally time for me to review the one film I've bitched about the most: Mission Impossible 2! I'm joined by my sister Erin in this timely episode about infectious flu-like viruses that threaten to cause a pandemic (seriously, the timing on this ep is wild). Join us as we criticise pretty much every single thing that happens in the 1st half of the movie, from dodgy transition effects to ridiculous foreshadowing and way too many pairs of Oakley sunglasses.

Find Erin on instagram: @kittyblinggg
Find my socials via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 8 - Tommy Tom Tom Cruise Boy Trivia

Mon, 09 Mar 2020 23:40:20 +1000

In this weeks minisode, Shan & I go through a list of random Tom Cruise trivia that seems largely made up or at least highly embellished, and we manage to come up with his brand new nickname!

Find Shan on instagram: @shanlouy
Find my socials via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 18 - Mission Impossible

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 13:41:40 +1000

It's here, folks! It's time to finally start reviewing the 'Mission Impossible' films! This will be the only time I review and Tom films consecutively, so strap yourself in and let's talks about 1996's 'Mission Impossible'! I'm jointed by Shan where we discuss Kittridge's expensive fedora, unexplained sexual chemistry, biting rats & bags full of masks.

Find Shan on instagram: @shanlouy
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 7 - No one else is allowed to rank Tom Cruise films any more and here's why

Mon, 24 Feb 2020 00:47:11 +1000

In this minisode, Maddy & I go through a list of all of Tom's films ranked worst to best and discuss why they're mostly incredibly wrong. Anyone who thinks 'Tropic Thunder' is a better film than 'Fallout' is a terrible person who doesn't belong in polite society. Also, if you've been wondering what my opinions on every single one of his films are in two sentences or less, we have you covered!

Find Maddy on insta & twitter: @madfrieza
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 17 - Jerry Maguire

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 00:18:43 +1000

SHOW ME THE MONEY! Oh yes, it's time for the film that's absolutely packed with memorable quotes; 'Jerry Maguire'! A film that's often been described as a rom-com for dudes, 1996's 'Jerry Maguire' features an eye-watering amount of sports that is almost balanced out by an impressive amount of Tom Cruise nudity & an adorable child who steals the show from just about everyone. Join Maddy & I as we discuss the sexist undertones, the absurdity of marrying someone after one shag & why there wasn't a spin-off for the man-hating sister who was honestly the only reasonable character in the whole film.

Find Maddy on insta & twitter: @madfrieza
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 16 - Legend (part 2)

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 01:26:15 +1000

We're back with part two of our 'Legend' review. If you thought Rachel & I got pretty detail-heavy in the 1st part, strap yourselves in because we go DEEP! Join as we deep dive into topics such as fairy kisses, unexpected tantrums, shitty pies, morph suits, gyrating demons & juicy boys. We also spend a fair amount of time discussing Tom's groin again, just in case you were wondering.

Find Rachel on instagram at @raken_art or @artrats__
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 15 - Legend (part 1)

Mon, 03 Feb 2020 01:05:45 +1000

After a short break from 80s films, we're back with Ridley Scott's 1985 dark fantasy 'Legend'. Released right in the middle of the wave of dark fantasy films of the 80s, Legend is a bit of an anomaly, and definitely Tom's least Tom Cruisey role. Join Rachel & I as we discuss the outstanding SFX makeup, the breathtaking unicorns, the confusing script, the bewildering dialogue, Tim Curry's epic laugh and the many shots of Tom's groin.

Find Rachel on instagram at @raken_art or @artrats__
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 6 - Time Loop Movies

Mon, 27 Jan 2020 00:38:31 +1000

In this minisode, Tom and I talk about other films, TV shows and even books that feature time loops, discussing some of our favourites and even touching on other popular time-based plot devices such as the alternate timelines, aka the "Sliding Doors" moment.

Find Tom on instagram: @raptor_au
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 14 - Edge of Tomorrow

Tue, 21 Jan 2020 14:15:03 +1000

We're back with a big, actiony sci-fi film this week where I review 2014's 'Edge of Tomorrow' with Tom, who is a passionate fan of sci fi (but less so of Tom Cruise... the audacity). Based on a Japanese book called 'All You Need Is Kill' this is a classic time-loop film where we see Tom die MANY times, sometimes horrifically & sometimes hilariously. It's also one of the rare time we see Tom play a character who's bad at what he does!

Find Tom on instagram: @raptor_au
Find my social media via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 5 - The Many Hairdo's of Tom Cruise

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 01:54:01 +1000

Of all of the things people focus on with Tom Cruise's appearance, his hair isn't often up there as the most talked about. But as Sally and I discover in this light minisode, he is a man with many famous hairstyles! Join as as we discuss our favourites, the worst ones and what we'd like to see him try next.

Find Sally on instagram: @diewrecktorofmayhem
Find my socials via my website www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 13 - Magnolia

Tue, 07 Jan 2020 01:07:24 +1000

This week I am joined by my film-nerd pal Sally who somehow never saw Paul Thomas Anderson's 1999 film 'Magnolia', which takes a fascinating though depressing look at a bunch of interconnected people's lives one evening in San Fernando Valley. Is this film about chance, fate, shitty fathers or all of the above? Join as as we discuss all of those topics plus marvel at Tom's luscious hair, his weird clothing choices & his many words referencing women's genitalia.

Find Sally on instagram: @diewrecktorofmayhem
Find my socials via my website www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 4 - Disciples of Xenu

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 15:34:27 +1000

In this not-at-all-mini episode, Benjamin and I deep dive into the personal life of Tom Cruise. Ben takes the reins on this episode, asking me a number of questions about my obsession with Tom before we get very in-depth about his personal life including his relationships, acting methods and, of course, Scientology.

Find Ben on twitter: @benjungles and instagram: @toontownexpress
Find my socials on my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 12 - Vanilla Sky

Tue, 24 Dec 2019 19:26:43 +1000

It's finally time for my lovely husband Benjamin to join me on the podcast to discuss 2001's 'Vanila Sky'. Neither of us knew anything about this film upon our first watch but we were both pleasantly surprised by it. Join us as we discuss dreams, dad rock, weird masks, Michael Shannan and, once again, cum. Also I have a small cry about the ending. It's a good time.

Find Ben on instagram: @toontownexpress or twitter: @benjungles
Find my socials via my website www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 11 - Eyes Wide Shut (part 2)

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 01:08:09 +1000

This week Chloe and I continue discussing 'Eyes Wide Shut', kicking off with the infamous sex cult party which was very underwhelming and included absolutely no Tom Cruise nudity whatsoever. We debate the clothing choices for the sex cult ladies, creepy sleep-laughing and disappointing the necrophiliac crowd.

Find Chloe on instagram: @chloecazz
Find my socials via www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 10 - Eyes Wide Shut (part 1)

Mon, 09 Dec 2019 10:55:44 +1000

It's another Tom & Nic film but we've fast forwarded to 1999's 'Eyes Wide Shut' which is probably one of Tom's most controversial films because of its racy themes. Does it live up to the hype? Chloe & I go through the first half of the film where we discuss infidelity, fantasies, threesomes & sowing "genetic material".

Find Chloe on instagram: @chloecazz
Find my socials via www.tomcruisereviews.com

Minisode 3 - Days of Thunder trivia

Mon, 02 Dec 2019 01:45:18 +1000

In this minisode we continue our discussion on 'Days of Thunder' because this film had a heck load of trivia that we couldn't fit into the main episode. Find out which plot points and characters were based on real Nascar events/people, who got a speeding ticket during filming & which other actresses were considered for the role of Dr Lewicki.

Find Bec on instagram: @__becjay__
Find my socials via www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 9 - Days of Thunder

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 02:02:54 +1000

In this episode on 1990's 'Days of Thunder' I'm joined by Bec who is a huge fan of car racing so we learn a lot about some of the technical aspects of racing that helped make this movie even more fun. Edutainment! Plus we discover a beloved Simpsons reference and count Tom's nipple hairs.

Find Bec on instagram: @__becjay__
Find my socials via www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 8 - Knight and Day (part 2)

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 01:21:51 +1000

It's part 2 of our review of 'Knight and Day' where we delve into more of the things Tom Cruise does that we find really attractive (namely eating an ice cream), the stunts, more druggings & gashes?

Find Lauren on facebook/twitter/insta: @laurenstarddust
Find more of me via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 7 - Knight and Day (part 1)

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 13:06:08 +1000

It's the first 2-parter for the podcast because I am joined by my bestie Lauren who is also a HUGE Tom Cruise fan & we go off on many ridiculous tangents (mostly about how hot Tom is). We cover the 2010 film 'Knight and Day' which neither of us had heard of previously but thoroughly enjoyed. Please note: there's a lot of manic laughter, mic bumps & rude jokes in this episode.

Minisode 2 - Can Tom Cruise dance?

Mon, 04 Nov 2019 19:29:25 +1000

It's another minisode where Amanda & I discuss whether or not Tom Cruise can dance and rate his most famous dance moments.

Find Amanda on instagram: @hartleylove
Find me & my socials on my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 6 - Risky Business

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 11:57:24 +1000

We're back in the 80s with Risky Business where I'm joined by Amanda who also had no idea how much darker this film was than it presents itself in pop culture. We discuss how they cover the topics of sex work, capitalism, loss of innocence & the logistics of setting up a one-night-only brothel in your parents house.

Find Amanda on instagram: @hartleylove

Episode 5 - Valkyrie

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 00:53:06 +1000

I take things a little more seriously this week as we review the 2008 WWII film 'Valkyrie'. I'm joined by Liam where we discuss how close this film got to actual history, whether or not Tom had a stunt butt & grappled with the idea of empathising with literal Nazi's in a film directed by a Very Awful Man.

Check out Liam's podcast Flawless: A Music Podcast whever you listen to podcasts.

Minisode 1 - Critics reviews of Cocktail

Mon, 07 Oct 2019 01:01:35 +1000

My first mini episode (or "minisode" for fun), a smaller version to tide you over between full podcast episodes. This week Jade & I read the many terrible reviews written about Cocktail when it first came out. So many alcohol puns!

Find me online via my website: www.tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 4 - Cocktail

Mon, 30 Sep 2019 15:54:30 +1000

It's time for an 80s classic and this week we've chosen 1988's Cocktail. I'm joined by Jade who really appreciates Tom's luscious, 80s hair but not so much the rampant sexism and certainly not Coughlin's Law.

Find Jade on social media @styleandspace or styleandspace.com.au
Check out my website for my socials tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 3 - Oblivion

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 00:28:41 +1000

This week I try to convert Heather into a Tom Cruise fan by showing her the sci fi film Oblivion, where we discuss life in a boring space apartment, the sexist double standards of fashion in the future & space pod harlots.

Find Heather on insta: @hacklock
Check out my new website: tomcruisereviews.com

Episode 2 - Rock of Ages

Mon, 02 Sep 2019 10:49:30 +1000

I'm joined by Emma to review the 2012 musical Rock of Ages. Join us as we laugh at one of the tackiest movies we've seen & discuss random tongues, silver dragon codpieces, dad rock, bad romances & singing into butts?

Follow Emma: emetic.art
Find me on insta @tomcruisereviews
Or twitter @tomcruisereview

Episode 1 - The Mummy

Sun, 25 Aug 2019 16:18:50 +1000

This is the very 1st episode of Cruisin' for a Reviewsin' featuring special guest Matt Hofmann, who helped kick start my Tom Cruise obsession! In this episode we discuss the 2017 film 'The Mummy' which was super divisive when it came out. Join us as we chat about the failed Dark Universe, hot mummies and that crashing plane scene.

Introduction to Cruisin' for a Reviewsin'

Sun, 25 Aug 2019 16:00:16 +1000

A quick intro to the new Tom Cruise movie reviews podcast, hosted by Cara Westworth.

Artwork by Emetic Art.

Follow me on instagram: @tomcruisereviews
Or on twitter: @tomcruisereview