Rebecca Has Spoken | Christian Relationship Advice for Women | Boundaries & Personal Growth https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com Are you a Christian woman who has trouble saying no without feeling guilty, second-guesses herself, overthinks other people's reactions or takes too much responsibility for how everyone else feels? 

Maybe you know you need stronger boundaries but aren't always sure where your responsibility ends and somebody else's begins. Maybe you keep people-pleasing, over-explaining, staying too long in unhealthy relationships or ignoring your own judgment because you're so focused on keeping the peace. 

I've been there!

For years, I struggled in relationships, people-pleased, second-guessed myself and learned painful lessons the hard way. Eventually, I learned that I was a codependent in need of healing. 

My life changed after I matured in my relationship with Christ, did the work in therapy and learned how to understand and trust myself. As I healed, I became better at recognizing unhealthy patterns, setting boundaries, making wiser decisions and understanding what was mine to carry - and what wasn't. 

Now I want to help other Christian women do the same. 

Rebecca Has Spoken is for the woman who wants to heal what's keeping her stuck, grow stronger without becoming hard and build healthier relationships and the life she wants. 

We'll talk about codependency, people-pleasing, boundaries, self-doubt, discernment, emotional maturity, dating and relationships.

Think of me as the big sister in your ear who's been down this road before and is here to help you get out of the weeds, get yourself together and build the life you desire. 

New episodes every Tuesday.

]]> Tue, 22 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0400 https://podbean.com/?v=5.5 en us Copyright 2026 Rebecca Has Spoken. All rights reserved. Religion & Spirituality:Christianity 1440 episodic Rebecca West Rebecca West No false https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/22375851/rebecca_has_7_9x1q3.png Rebecca Has Spoken | Christian Relationship Advice for Women | Boundaries & Personal Growth https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com 144 144 Why You Should Stop Focusing on if He Likes You Why You Should Stop Focusing on if He Likes You https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/why-you-should-stop-focusing-on-if-he-likes-you/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/why-you-should-stop-focusing-on-if-he-likes-you/#comments Tue, 22 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/eaa0eb70-dd05-392f-9012-1444858e6c1c Are you so focused on if he likes you that you never ask if you even like him?

In this Becoming a Wife episode, I break down why nice girls finish last in early dating — and it's not because you're too kind. If you're stuck in people pleasing in dating, over-invested and worried about his opinion while ignoring what you actually want, this Christian dating advice is for you.

We'll talk about what a nice girl really is in dating, what mindset to carry instead of pressure and anxiety, and how to stop chasing love by staying open without getting attached to the outcome.

Part of the Becoming a Wife series for Christian women learning boundaries, self-worth, and faith-aligned dating. New long-form every Tuesday at 7am.

]]> Are you so focused on if he likes you that you never ask if you even like him?

In this Becoming a Wife episode, I break down why nice girls finish last in early dating — and it's not because you're too kind. If you're stuck in people pleasing in dating, over-invested and worried about his opinion while ignoring what you actually want, this Christian dating advice is for you.

We'll talk about what a nice girl really is in dating, what mindset to carry instead of pressure and anxiety, and how to stop chasing love by staying open without getting attached to the outcome.

Part of the Becoming a Wife series for Christian women learning boundaries, self-worth, and faith-aligned dating. New long-form every Tuesday at 7am.

]]> Rebecca West false No 826 14 full The Most Important Dating Lesson I Learned Way Too Late The Most Important Dating Lesson I Learned Way Too Late https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/the-most-important-dating-lesson-i-learned-way-too-late/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/the-most-important-dating-lesson-i-learned-way-too-late/#comments Tue, 15 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/148d9912-3c94-3ac2-a3d3-62ac3d32c098 The most important dating lesson I learned way too late: my real power was being willing and able to walk away. I used to be the Queen of Second Chances. I gave chance after chance and called it patience. In this Becoming a Wife episode, I share how learning the power of walking away changed how I approached boundaries, commitment, self-worth and choosing the right man — and how I met my husband 2 months after I finally did it. In this episode: why walking away is so powerful, how to tell the difference between being patient and staying too long, how to walk away when you still have feelings, and when taking him back is the right call. If you've ever felt powerless in dating, wondered how to know when to leave a relationship , or felt like you were being too nice in dating and repeating the same patterns, this is for you.

]]> The most important dating lesson I learned way too late: my real power was being willing and able to walk away. I used to be the Queen of Second Chances. I gave chance after chance and called it patience. In this Becoming a Wife episode, I share how learning the power of walking away changed how I approached boundaries, commitment, self-worth and choosing the right man — and how I met my husband 2 months after I finally did it. In this episode: why walking away is so powerful, how to tell the difference between being patient and staying too long, how to walk away when you still have feelings, and when taking him back is the right call. If you've ever felt powerless in dating, wondered how to know when to leave a relationship , or felt like you were being too nice in dating and repeating the same patterns, this is for you.

]]> Rebecca West false No 938 13 full I Thought I Valued Myself But I ACTUALLY Didn't I Thought I Valued Myself But I ACTUALLY Didn't https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/the-secret-to-how-i-rebuilt-self-worth-after-toxic-relationships/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/the-secret-to-how-i-rebuilt-self-worth-after-toxic-relationships/#comments Tue, 08 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/66618eba-18b8-300a-8cfe-1b32f1068eaf How do you rebuild your self-worth after unhealthy relationships, rejection or years of settling for less than you deserve? In this episode of the Becoming a Wife series, I'm talking about how low self-worth develops, why affirmations alone are not enough and how changing what you believe about yourself can change what you tolerate in dating and relationships. 

If you're working on self-worth, self-esteem, boundaries, healing from unhealthy relationships, people-pleasing or preparing for a healthy marriage, this episode is for you. 

]]> How do you rebuild your self-worth after unhealthy relationships, rejection or years of settling for less than you deserve? In this episode of the Becoming a Wife series, I'm talking about how low self-worth develops, why affirmations alone are not enough and how changing what you believe about yourself can change what you tolerate in dating and relationships. 

If you're working on self-worth, self-esteem, boundaries, healing from unhealthy relationships, people-pleasing or preparing for a healthy marriage, this episode is for you. 

]]> Rebecca West false No 634 12 full I Lost Trust in Myself to Pick the Right Man I Lost Trust in Myself to Pick the Right Man https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/how-to-trust-yourself-again-after-toxic-relationships-becoming-a-wife-ep-1/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/how-to-trust-yourself-again-after-toxic-relationships-becoming-a-wife-ep-1/#comments Tue, 01 Sep 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/7d22c544-4c75-30e7-8ca0-3bfc12efe3f2 Episode 1 of the Becoming a Wife series explores how to trust yourself again after unhealthy relationships, rebuild self-trust, regain confidence, heal your inner child and prepare to date with stronger boundaries and discernment. 

]]> Episode 1 of the Becoming a Wife series explores how to trust yourself again after unhealthy relationships, rebuild self-trust, regain confidence, heal your inner child and prepare to date with stronger boundaries and discernment. 

]]> Rebecca West false No 377 11 full How I Finally Stopped Letting My Emotions Control Me How I Finally Stopped Letting My Emotions Control Me https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/how-i-finally-stopped-letting-my-emotions-control-me/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/how-i-finally-stopped-letting-my-emotions-control-me/#comments Tue, 25 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/8f04c3e7-2fd3-3271-a9f1-3621c7971439 Emotional control doesn't mean becoming numb—it means learning how to feel your emotions without letting them control your decisions, relationships, and life.

In this episode, I share how I learned to manage my emotions, build emotional resilience, stop making decisions from fear, and process difficult feelings without being overwhelmed by them. I also talk about the connection between emotional regulation, healthy boundaries, self-abandonment, and unhealthy relationship patterns, and what Jesus teaches us about emotions and self-control.

If you're a Christian woman struggling with emotional control, emotional regulation, people-pleasing, fear of rejection, unhealthy relationships, or boundaries, this episode is for you.

I'm Rebecca, and I help Christian women break unhealthy relationship patterns, build stronger boundaries, and become more emotionally resilient.

New episodes every Tuesday.

]]> Emotional control doesn't mean becoming numb—it means learning how to feel your emotions without letting them control your decisions, relationships, and life.

In this episode, I share how I learned to manage my emotions, build emotional resilience, stop making decisions from fear, and process difficult feelings without being overwhelmed by them. I also talk about the connection between emotional regulation, healthy boundaries, self-abandonment, and unhealthy relationship patterns, and what Jesus teaches us about emotions and self-control.

If you're a Christian woman struggling with emotional control, emotional regulation, people-pleasing, fear of rejection, unhealthy relationships, or boundaries, this episode is for you.

I'm Rebecca, and I help Christian women break unhealthy relationship patterns, build stronger boundaries, and become more emotionally resilient.

New episodes every Tuesday.

]]> Rebecca West false No 631 10 full Give Me 12 Minutes and I'll Teach You How To Stop People-Pleasing Give Me 12 Minutes and I'll Teach You How To Stop People-Pleasing https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/give-me-12-minutes-and-ill-teach-you-how-to-stop-people-pleasing/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/give-me-12-minutes-and-ill-teach-you-how-to-stop-people-pleasing/#comments Tue, 18 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/dbbaa3cb-57b3-34a7-a448-da4dc86f1a1a Are you a Christian woman who struggles with people-pleasing, saying no without guilt, or worrying about how other people will react when you make a decision they don’t like?

For years, I didn’t even realize I had a people-pleasing problem. I thought I was being accommodating, selfless, keeping the peace, or simply turning the other cheek. But eventually I realized something deeper was happening: my people-pleasing was often connected to a fear of rejection and a desire to control the outcome.

In this episode, I’m sharing what I learned about the hidden motivations behind people-pleasing, how it can become intertwined with codependency and self-doubt, and why constantly trying to manage other people’s feelings can keep you from being fully authentic.

We’ll talk about the difference between genuinely loving other people and abandoning yourself to keep them comfortable—and why learning to tolerate someone else’s disappointment is an important part of developing stronger boundaries, confidence, and emotional maturity.

If you’ve ever thought, I’m just trying to be a good person, while secretly feeling anxious about upsetting someone, this episode is for you.

In this episode:

  • Why people-pleasing isn’t always about wanting people to be happy
  • How fear of rejection can drive people-pleasing behavior
  • The connection between people-pleasing, codependency, and control
  • Why “keeping the peace” can sometimes mean abandoning yourself
  • How to become more authentic without becoming selfish
  • How stronger boundaries can help you stop second-guessing yourself
  • What Christian women should consider when balancing selflessness with healthy boundaries
]]> Are you a Christian woman who struggles with people-pleasing, saying no without guilt, or worrying about how other people will react when you make a decision they don’t like?

For years, I didn’t even realize I had a people-pleasing problem. I thought I was being accommodating, selfless, keeping the peace, or simply turning the other cheek. But eventually I realized something deeper was happening: my people-pleasing was often connected to a fear of rejection and a desire to control the outcome.

In this episode, I’m sharing what I learned about the hidden motivations behind people-pleasing, how it can become intertwined with codependency and self-doubt, and why constantly trying to manage other people’s feelings can keep you from being fully authentic.

We’ll talk about the difference between genuinely loving other people and abandoning yourself to keep them comfortable—and why learning to tolerate someone else’s disappointment is an important part of developing stronger boundaries, confidence, and emotional maturity.

If you’ve ever thought, I’m just trying to be a good person, while secretly feeling anxious about upsetting someone, this episode is for you.

In this episode:

  • Why people-pleasing isn’t always about wanting people to be happy
  • How fear of rejection can drive people-pleasing behavior
  • The connection between people-pleasing, codependency, and control
  • Why “keeping the peace” can sometimes mean abandoning yourself
  • How to become more authentic without becoming selfish
  • How stronger boundaries can help you stop second-guessing yourself
  • What Christian women should consider when balancing selflessness with healthy boundaries
]]> Rebecca West false No 753 9 full 3 Ways To Stop Second-Guessing Yourself for Good 3 Ways To Stop Second-Guessing Yourself for Good https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/3-ways-to-stop-second-guessing-yourself-for-good/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/3-ways-to-stop-second-guessing-yourself-for-good/#comments Tue, 11 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/97291488-d1c5-3280-a0d0-3f81edb5f3ba Do you constantly second-guess yourself, question your decisions or let other people talk you out of what you know is right for you? In this episode, I'm sharing three ways to overcome self-doubt, trust your own judgment and stand firm in your decisions without becoming arrogant, unreasonable or unkind. We'll talk about why you keep abandoning your own instincts, how to figure out what's actually right for you and how to stop over-explaining yourself every time someone disagrees. If you're tired of doubting yourself and ready to trust the God-given wisdom and discernment you already have, this episode is for you. 

]]> Do you constantly second-guess yourself, question your decisions or let other people talk you out of what you know is right for you? In this episode, I'm sharing three ways to overcome self-doubt, trust your own judgment and stand firm in your decisions without becoming arrogant, unreasonable or unkind. We'll talk about why you keep abandoning your own instincts, how to figure out what's actually right for you and how to stop over-explaining yourself every time someone disagrees. If you're tired of doubting yourself and ready to trust the God-given wisdom and discernment you already have, this episode is for you. 

]]> Rebecca West false No 1291 8 full This Is Why Your Boundaries Aren't Working This Is Why Your Boundaries Aren't Working https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/standing-up-for-yourself-is-pointless-if-you-wont-hold-the-line/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/standing-up-for-yourself-is-pointless-if-you-wont-hold-the-line/#comments Tue, 04 Aug 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/095443f4-4360-3ba9-bb94-7366bb1d912e In this episode, I look back at moments in past relationships when I thought I was being strong because I was assertive, would stand up for myself and refused to stay quiet. However, my boundaries kept getting crossed and my relationships became a cycle of arguments with no real resolution. I unpack what was really beneath all that talking and what I eventually had to change. 

]]> In this episode, I look back at moments in past relationships when I thought I was being strong because I was assertive, would stand up for myself and refused to stay quiet. However, my boundaries kept getting crossed and my relationships became a cycle of arguments with no real resolution. I unpack what was really beneath all that talking and what I eventually had to change. 

]]> Rebecca West false No 846 7 full I Shrank After Heartbreak: How I Found Myself Again I Shrank After Heartbreak: How I Found Myself Again https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/the-biggest-mistake-i-made-after-my-breakup/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/the-biggest-mistake-i-made-after-my-breakup/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/03026f57-edac-311b-b704-420d503c116e After heartbreak, I thought I was healing — but I was actually losing myself. In this episode, I’m talking about codependency, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and the ways heartbreak can quietly change how you show up in relationships. If you’ve ever struggled with breakup recovery, boundaries, confidence, or feeling like you have to earn love, this conversation is for you.

]]> After heartbreak, I thought I was healing — but I was actually losing myself. In this episode, I’m talking about codependency, people-pleasing, self-abandonment, and the ways heartbreak can quietly change how you show up in relationships. If you’ve ever struggled with breakup recovery, boundaries, confidence, or feeling like you have to earn love, this conversation is for you.

]]> Rebecca West false No 745 6 full The Hidden Belief Behind Your Relationship Patterns The Hidden Belief Behind Your Relationship Patterns https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/why-every-new-relationship-feels-like-the-last-one/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/why-every-new-relationship-feels-like-the-last-one/#comments Tue, 21 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/77a34048-82c9-3352-abb2-4ca846db5cdb Why do you keep repeating the same relationship patterns with different people? Sometimes the problem isn't just who you're choosing — it's the unconscious beliefs shaping how you experience relationships.

In this episode, I share how I discovered the hidden “script” influencing my relationships, reactions, boundaries and self-worth — and what finally helped me begin breaking the cycle.

 

]]> Why do you keep repeating the same relationship patterns with different people? Sometimes the problem isn't just who you're choosing — it's the unconscious beliefs shaping how you experience relationships.

In this episode, I share how I discovered the hidden “script” influencing my relationships, reactions, boundaries and self-worth — and what finally helped me begin breaking the cycle.

 

]]> Rebecca West false No 976 5 full The Real Reason You Keep Choosing the Wrong Men The Real Reason You Keep Choosing the Wrong Men https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/the-real-reason-you-keep-choosing-the-wrong-men/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/the-real-reason-you-keep-choosing-the-wrong-men/#comments Tue, 14 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/87bbf611-daa7-3141-9a56-b01509e0bd08 Why do you keep choosing the wrong men—even when you know the red flags?

In this episode, I break down the relationship patterns that kept me stuck in unhealthy relationships, including poor boundaries, insecure attachment, fear of abandonment, settling, and ignoring my own discernment. I eventually realized that learning how to spot toxic behavior wasn’t enough. I had to look at the patterns in my own choices and change the way I approached dating and relationships.

If you keep dating the same type of man in different packages, struggle to walk away from unhealthy relationships, or want to build better boundaries and healthier relationship patterns, this episode is for you.

]]> Why do you keep choosing the wrong men—even when you know the red flags?

In this episode, I break down the relationship patterns that kept me stuck in unhealthy relationships, including poor boundaries, insecure attachment, fear of abandonment, settling, and ignoring my own discernment. I eventually realized that learning how to spot toxic behavior wasn’t enough. I had to look at the patterns in my own choices and change the way I approached dating and relationships.

If you keep dating the same type of man in different packages, struggle to walk away from unhealthy relationships, or want to build better boundaries and healthier relationship patterns, this episode is for you.

]]> Rebecca West false No 793 4 full Codependency Made Me Choose the Wrong Guy For Years Codependency Made Me Choose the Wrong Guy For Years https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/yes-you-can-be-smart-and-still-choose-the-wrong-guy/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/yes-you-can-be-smart-and-still-choose-the-wrong-guy/#comments Tue, 14 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/25d9a488-2e00-363a-bea3-fc8d4e8e9af2 Have you ever looked back at a toxic relationship and wondered, "What was I thinking?" In this episode, I share how codependency made me choose the wrong guy for years — and why being smart doesn't protect us from painful relationship patterns. As a codependent, I was the queen of second chances: ignoring red flags, smelling the smoke, and still walking into the fire because of people pleasing and a lack of boundaries. If you've been hard on yourself for staying too long or thinking you're responsible for fixing other people, I hope this conversation brings you clarity, healing, and hope. You'll learn how I began to heal, set healthy boundaries in relationships, and stop repeating the same cycle.

]]> Have you ever looked back at a toxic relationship and wondered, "What was I thinking?" In this episode, I share how codependency made me choose the wrong guy for years — and why being smart doesn't protect us from painful relationship patterns. As a codependent, I was the queen of second chances: ignoring red flags, smelling the smoke, and still walking into the fire because of people pleasing and a lack of boundaries. If you've been hard on yourself for staying too long or thinking you're responsible for fixing other people, I hope this conversation brings you clarity, healing, and hope. You'll learn how I began to heal, set healthy boundaries in relationships, and stop repeating the same cycle.

]]> Rebecca West false No 798 3 full How I Went From Failing at Relationships to Married at 41 How I Went From Failing at Relationships to Married at 41 https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/how-i-went-from-failing-at-relationships-to-married-at-41/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/how-i-went-from-failing-at-relationships-to-married-at-41/#comments Tue, 14 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/4441067b-8c18-32d5-ba1c-1032d70426d5 How did I go from a string of failed relationships to finally married at 41? In this episode I share my personal journey through heartbreak and unhealthy relationship patterns — and what God taught me through that season about codependency, boundaries, and healing. If you've ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns or if it's too late for love, this conversation is for you. 

]]> How did I go from a string of failed relationships to finally married at 41? In this episode I share my personal journey through heartbreak and unhealthy relationship patterns — and what God taught me through that season about codependency, boundaries, and healing. If you've ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns or if it's too late for love, this conversation is for you. 

]]> Rebecca West false No 698 2 full Welcome to Rebecca Has Spoken | Real Talk for Christian Women Welcome to Rebecca Has Spoken | Real Talk for Christian Women https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/welcome-to-rebecca-has-spoken-real-talk-for-christian-women/ https://rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/e/welcome-to-rebecca-has-spoken-real-talk-for-christian-women/#comments Fri, 03 Jul 2026 07:00:00 -0400 rebeccahasspoken.podbean.com/1bc8b467-30c3-3a8c-85e6-6d198761e18c Welcome to Rebecca Has Spoken, where we have honest conversations about faith, boundaries, relationships and the wisdom to make better decisions. If you’ve ever wondered “How did I get here?” or struggled to balance kindness with having your own back, you’re in the right place.

]]> Welcome to Rebecca Has Spoken, where we have honest conversations about faith, boundaries, relationships and the wisdom to make better decisions. If you’ve ever wondered “How did I get here?” or struggled to balance kindness with having your own back, you’re in the right place.

]]> Welcome to Rebecca Has Spoken - a podcast for Christian women seeking healthier relationships, stronger boundaries, greater confidence and emotional healing through honest conversations filled with compassion without coddling. Rebecca West false No 96 trailer