Quick Hits

If cynicism is the opposite of naïveté, what does balance look like?

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Rick Alcantara started this conversation off by saying he doesn’t think this is a valid question because they aren’t mutually exclusive. He believes you can be both naïve and cynical at the same time. Further into the conversation he mentioned the word “rational” that could be a middle ground.

Laura Agafitei brought in the idea of healthy skepticism. For her that means being open to learning why someone believes what they do and then analyzing those reasons in light of her own biases and beliefs. The bottom line for her was not trusting everything you see, but also give the benefit of doubt.

Stewart Wiggins wondered when in our lives we start to become cynical. Children aren’t cynical by nature. What causes us to become bitter (my word) as we get older?

For me cynicism is bitter, almost angry. Whereas, being naïve is not having any knowledge or life experience and I wasn’t sure if I agreed with Rick’s idea that you could be both and asked him to say more about it.

In listening back to this conversation, I decided to look at the definition of naïve. From Dictionary(dot)com: “having or showing a lack of experience, judgment, or information”

Based on just that definition, Rick’s concept works.

Do you think cynicism and naïveté are opposites? Can you be both? What does it look like to have healthy skepticism instead?

Connect with the panelists:

Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in business psychology with a concentration in high performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

#QuickHits are designed to exercise your brain by letting you listen in on an unscripted conversation to get other people's thoughts on pertinent subjects. If you would like to join a conversation or have a topic you would like to hear discussed, please message me. https://www.MentalMacGyver.com

How do you notice when you subvert your needs to avoid conflict and what do you do about it?

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Brandon Mahoney started this conversation off by saying he uses this as a tactic to end a conflict. It allows him to feel like the better person for being willing to walk away and perhaps sacrifice to make the other person happy.

Chelle Shapiro agreed. She will intentionally take herself out of a conversation to keep it from escalating; particularly if the other person is really not interesting in hearing what she has to say.

Philip Tate commended Brandon and Chelle for being self-aware enough to recognize when they are choosing to not demand their needs be met. Further commenting that many times people subvert what they need without even realizing they are doing it.

I agreed that there are times when it’s not a huge deal and you can just say, “Never mind, that I need isn’t important.” But it can become a recurring habit to avoiding conflict. I wondered how do you realize, “I don’t want to fight with you AND my needs aren’t being met.”

I also asked this panel how they deal with situations where maybe they let something go for too long and now they are saying, “Hey this is no longer okay.” But the person they are talking to is so used to getting their way, they get angry when you set a boundary.

Watch to the end where I shared a story that recently happened in my life where I had to make some tough choices.

How do you notice when you bury your needs? Is it always a problem and what do you do about it?

Connect with the panelists:

Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup and based on the west coast of the US.

Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

Do bad bosses know they are bad?

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Elissa Hecker started this conversation by saying, yes. Some bad bosses do know and they don’t care. And on the other side, there are bad bosses who don’t realize they are bad. They could be insecure, overcompensating, or want to be everyone’s friend.

Pascal Derrien thinks that some bad bosses are in denial. They may have become a boss as social posturing, for status reasons, and don’t really care if they are a good boss or not. Pascal says people like that aren’t managers, they are damagers.

He can also see the other side where a bad boss has good intent but doesn’t have the experience, training or baseline to be a good boss.

James Lee believes that for someone to be a really bad boss they have to not care that they are bad. He also brought in the reality that drugs and alcohol can be a major problem with bad bosses (Side note – I worked in the banking industry in the nineties and cocktail lunches were a real thing for “leaders.”)

I followed up with the question about what a “bad boss” actually looks like. We even talked about whether the “Covid break” has made some bosses worse because they feel like they are losing control.

At about the mid-point of the conversation we had a difference of opinion, some panelists thought if you are a bad person at work, you are likely a bad person at home and vice versa. Others disagreed and said that people can have from different work personalities.

Jim wondered if we really need as much middle management as most organizations have now.

This conversation could have gone a lot of different directions and we touched on a lot of things.

What do you think, do bad bosses know they are bad or are they clueless?

Connect with the panelists:

James Lee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jleeadvisor/

He is a financial futurist at StratFI. He has 30 years’ experience in the financial word and is the author of the book, Foresight Investing: A Complete Guide to Finding Your Next Great Trade

Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries

Pascal Derrien: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pascalderrien/

CEO of the nonprofit Migraine Ireland and an avid athlete

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

Why is it so easy to just accept toxic work environments?

Wed, 04 Oct 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Catarina von Maydell started us off by talking about environments that normalize “toughness” with sayings like, “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” Plus blaming and shaming – If you can’t handle it, that is your fault.

Rick Alcantara agreed adding that there can be a mentality of just grin and bear it because people don’t feel like they have an opportunity to go somewhere else.

Stewart Wiggins suggested there might be a generational component. That the younger generation is less likely to tolerate toxic work environments than they predecessors. Those in their twenties and early thirties will just pick and leave for another job. He also believes there is some complacency. “If it doesn’t harm me, it’s not a toxic work environment.”

Other reasons people might stay: Afraid the next place they go will be worse. Golden handcuffs – being paid so much that they can’t find another job at similar pay.

This is the book Catarina mentioned: What Men Don't Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook https://www.amazon.com/What-Dont-Women-About-Business/dp/0470145080/ref=sr_1_1

Do you think people who stay in toxic environments are to blame for their own situation because they stay in it?

Is there an option between, be quiet and keep your head down and quitting?

Connect with the panelists:
Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/

She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution. If you want different, lead different.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide customized, confidential, high-performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

Want a summary of Quick Hits in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

Are leaders responsible for fostering innovation and creativity on their teams?

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Todd Karges started this conversation off with a yes. And adding that it is even more important for leaders to create an environment where innovation and creativity can thrive. That means allowing space for learning, outside the box thinking and failure.

Jennifer Watson talked about a survey that showed what employees want and need is psychological safety. The ability to screw something up and know their boss has their back and they will be welcome in the group. She also believes that it is important for a leader to be able to pull in the right people to allow that kind of environment to flourish.

Dr Mohan Ananda is confident that it is the founder or CEO’s responsibility to set the example. Which includes believing in growth, being willing to take calculated risks and providing support and resources. For him the answer is not only yes, it is an absolute must.

I wondered how much autonomy an individual leader has to create this and how much of it is determined by the overall culture of the whole organization. And further into the conversation I asked how a leader can provide guidance without squelching ideas.

Listen in to what this experienced panel had to say on the subject and then we would love to hear from you.

Do you agree that creating space for innovation and creativity is the leader’s responsibility or do the employees also need to come to the table ready to create?

Connect with the panelists:
Jennifer Watson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-watson-6b08b9121/

She a keynote speaker and coach helping leaders heal and accelerate their influence by optimizing Vitality, High-Frequency Leadership and Transformational Communication

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.

Dr. Mohan Ananda: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mohanananda/

Scientist, lawyer, serial entrepreneur, and author of the book, Autobiography of an Immigrant. Which has been translated into multiple languages. He is passionate about helping people succeed in business

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Want a summary of Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

What does it mean for something to be fair?

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 15:27:00 -0300

When I was little my dad used to say, “You want fair? Go to Turlock in August.” That’s when and where the county fair was held each year. That was his way of saying life wasn’t fair and that was too bad.

Dr Bob Choat started our conversation off by talking about culture and how, depending on where you are and what biases you have, fair might be seen differently.

For Lisa Howard two words came to mind first, balanced and impartial. She then went on to add, moral, ethical, free of bias and favoritism. She believes a situation has to be looked at holistically to determine if it is fair.

Brett Knopf agreed, adding there is a subjectivity to it. He considered the question from a negotiation standpoint. In that case, fairness is both parties walking away satisfied.

I believe there is an element of expectation when it comes to fairness. In the conversation I shared a funny story of my sister explaining to her four-year-old why it was “fair” for them to split a chocolate bar one third to the toddler and two-thirds to my sister. Fair doesn’t always mean equal.

Another little antidote from my childhood – If I was splitting something with a sibling my mom would always have one of us cut it and the other one got to choose their half first. You have never seen such careful halving of something as me cutting something knowing my sibling would choose the larger half.

What do you think it means for something to be fair? Is fairness a thing in the adult world?

Connect with the panelists:

Lisa Howard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lhoward2/

Is the Founder of the HR consulting company, People Core Strategies. She is a trusted Business Consultant and HR Advisor - Helping companies grow through effective people strategies.

Brett Knopf: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brett-knopf-5849b48/

He is a Performance Coach and Business Strategist with over two decades of experience. He empowers leaders and teams to create environments that focus on collaboration, transparency, self-accountability and personal development.

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

AKA Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

How do you help your team understand how their work fits into the bigger picture without overwhelming them with details?

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This panel has decades of combined experience running a host of different types of teams.

Kevin Wash started us off. His expertise is in sales for international property development. From his point of view, you can share the goal numbers and where the company is along the path to achieving that goal. It is a very clear metric and not overwhelming at all.

Brandon Mahoney went next. He is a master of sales as well but in the startup arena. He agrees with Kevin that the first thing you need is very clear company goals (side note – I would have assumed that was a given but it seems that is not always the case).

Dr Bob Choat has experience in too many industries to list here. He talked about using storytelling to help people be engaged in the company mission and goals. He also shared about the new app project he is working on and how the three individuals involved have had to shift from personal mission to joint mission.

When I worked in corporate, I never knew how what I did mattered to the company goals. I asked this panel if they thought that was every okay. They all shook their heads no. I asked them to explain what they thought that.

I then followed up by asking how much a front-line employee really needs to know. Kevin made an interesting point saying every employee needs to know the impact if they do a bad job.

Do you agree that everyone in an organization needs to know how they fit into the larger picture? Or does it not matter for people who are just coming in and doing their job? If it does matter, how much do they really need to know?

Connect with the panelists:

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup and based on the west coast of the US.

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD , he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Is leadership an art or a science?

Thu, 28 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Bonnie Sussman-Versace started us off by saying she has looked at this topic a lot over the last few years and she thinks it is both and neither at the same time. Some people seem to get to a certain point in leadership development and get stuck. Other people just seem to be naturals at it.

Daisy Cedeño loves the humanity in this question. Science is about have a theory, structure and the evidence. Art appeals to the senses and our emotions. Doesn’t that make leadership both? However, she leans towards it being an art.

Stewart Wiggins agreed that it is both and believes it builds on itself. You have to learn the science of leadership in order to make it into an art.

I think about it kinda like sports. Most people can go for a jog. Very few can be worldclass runners. The difference certainly includes hard work. And there has to be some innate ability to be really great. Could the same be true of leadership?

Do you think leadership is art (innate or talent) or is it science (learnable and teachable)?

Connect with the panelists:

Daisy Cedeño MS: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daisy-cede%C3%B1o-ms/

20 years as a communications coach for the Latino market and a multimedia journalist for TV and radio stations on the east coach – based in FL

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED LLC. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What causes you to feel resentment and what do you do about it?

Wed, 27 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Sara Oblak Speicher started us off by sharing that things she perceived as unjust, like an athletic coach being harder on her than her teammates, used to cause her to feel resentment.

For Bill Haase resentment is how he feels about making a bad decision and the cost associated with that decision.

Catarina von Maydell liked the idea of connecting resentment to the choices that we make and she took it a bit further, associating it with power and pointing out that the feeling of resentment is a signal that one of our boundaries has been crossed.

For me resentment is different from disappointment in a very clear way. Disappointment is, “that didn’t work out.” Resentment is, “that SHOULD have worked out.”

Listen all the way through to hear how the panelists deal with feeling resentful.

What does resentment mean to you and what do you do when you are resentful?

Connect with the panelists:

Sara Oblak Speicher, MBA: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saraospeicher/

Former international athlete, now a Life coach, and transformational expert

Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/

Bill Haase: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bill-haase-a506299/

Co-Founder/CEO MetaEd Partners. He is developing global virtual and live conferences to support the underprivileged and building programs in the US to help high school students understand how money works.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it and what did you learn?

Tue, 26 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Oh what fun this conversation was! By the end I felt so inspired.

James Lee started us off by sharing that he traveled internationally by himself for the first time recently, going to Dubai.

For Todd Karges his new thing was meditate.

Cole Galloway was up next and he told us that he made a decision a few years ago to do new things all the time. He orders something he’s never had at restaurants. He wears clothes together that he never has. He tried acting for the first time a year ago.

He is on a mission to find new things to make sure he doesn’t get into a rut. And he loves it.

He did say that doing new things all the time can make your friends and family a little bit bonkers.

What does it do to your life to do new things all the time? To purposefully seek them out? We asked Cole that. You’ll have to listen to our conversation to hear his answer.

What new thing have you done recently? What did you learn or how did it change you?

Connect with the panelists:

James Lee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jleeadvisor/

He is a financial futurist at StratFI. He has 30 years’ experience in the financial word and is the author of the book, Foresight Investing: A Complete Guide to Finding Your Next Great Trade

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you keep a conversation flowing with a stranger without talking about yourself?

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

The easy answer to this is “ask questions.” But about what? I’m pretty extroverted and can carry both sides of a conversation if I need to. But I wondered how other people keep a conversation flowing. Enter my wonderful panel:

First off, we learned that Kevin Wash has a game he plays (yes really!) to see how much he can learn about someone without telling them so much as his name. (Side note – I find the last thing people ask me is my name.)

His tip – start with an interesting question that even a stranger will answer and then follow up with a question related to their answer.

Inga Hebden agreed with asking a question and then listening to the answer with a caveat that some people give VERY short responses. Maybe they are shy or just not very comfortable. She then shared an example of trying to get to know someone who just didn’t want to share. In the end she wondered if it was even worth the effort to try to get to know the person if they didn’t want to be known.

Rick Alcantara added that in a business setting asking questions about what they are trying to accomplish and what their needs are is a good place to start. On the personal side some topics he suggested are the weather, sports, music, politics (if you are brave).

There is a downside to being really good at creating conversations – you get to the end of your scheduled time and you know all about them and they haven’t learned anything about you. Fine if you’re playing Kevin’s game. Not so good if you are networking. (That happened to me today in fact.)

How do you keep a conversation going with a stranger without making it all about you?

Connect with the panelists:

Inga Hebdon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/inga-hebdon/

Leadership & Personal Impact Coach helping people increase their impact, their ability to lead, their influence and act strategically.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

“Do your own research” is an insult, but how do you avoid confirmation bias when looking for the truth?

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Joey Robert Parks started us off by saying he tries to keep an open mind and look for counter-arguments to his existing opinion.

Jim Tam came in next to say that it feels like someone is being lazy when they say “do your own research.” Or maybe they don’t really know the answer. He believes it takes a very secure person to challenge their own biases and keep an open mind.

Lisa McDonald pointed out that actual scientific research is about looking for things that say your hypothesis is wrong. But the way it is generally used, people mean “do your own research” and you’ll find things that support me.

My frustration with people who insult me with “do your own research” is that there is no data I can bring to the table that is disagreement with them that is “acceptable.” They want me to do my own research but only if I find information that agrees with their existing beliefs.

After we turned the recording off Jim made the point that there are really smart people who think differently than he does and he wonders, what do they know that I don’t?

Have “do your own research” been tossed at you as an insult? How do you make sure you get a well-rounded look at a topic before you create your opinion?

Connect with the panelists:
Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/

He is a 32-book author and ghostwriter and The DaVinci of Writing. He can write in any style, genre, or topic, and make it sound natural, like he’s been an expert in it for decades.

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/

Founder of Career Polish where she is an specializes in career management and executive presence.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How have you functioned in a dysfunctional workplace? Part 2

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

The conversations I’m posting yesterday and today were born out of the discussion: How should anger be expressed in the workplace? https://youtu.be/q8uPMUPGvgY

After we turned off the recording for that conversation the panel started talking about how hard it is to express anything in a dysfunctional workplace. We didn’t all have time to record again right then so we came back together to create this conversation.

In this part of the conversation, I asked the panelists to share their stories.

Claire Schwartz started us off talking about her time in the fast paced and often toxic environment of the legal and financial world in New York. Her advice was to get (good) advice and support and connect yourself to other grounded people.

Laura Agafitei agreed with the idea of creating a community. She provided the toxic and abusive example of having worked as an admin. She was very open about why she stayed in that environment even though she had other options. She suggested finding others to help you validate that what is happening is toxic so you don’t just accept it as “normal.”

Catarina von Maydell echoed what Laura said, adding that as hard as it is to hear, sometimes we have to recognize that we are complicit in allowing dysfunction in our lives because we have been taught to just “suck it up.” In her case she “loved” being in some of those dysfunctional, even abusive, environments because it was high powered, smart people and it was fun. But there was a lot of damage being done.

After sharing some of my own journey I added what I believe to be the best thing anyone can do for themselves: you have to stop choosing dysfunction

What tips do you have for functioning (keeping your sanity?) in a dysfunctional environment?

You can watch the first half of this conversation here: https://youtu.be/1JG80Gt1MU8

Connect with the panelists:

Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.

Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/

She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution.

Claire Schwartz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairemschwartz/

She is a Grief Coach and Trauma Healing Expert. Demystifying and Destigmatizing Grief and Trauma healing. Working with Individuals, Organizations and Families.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How have you functioned in a dysfunctional workplace? Part 1

Wed, 20 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

The conversations I’m posting today and tomorrow were born out of the discussion: How should anger be expressed in the workplace? https://youtu.be/q8uPMUPGvgY

Ten minutes wasn’t enough so we ended up with parts one and two.

Catarina von Maydell started us of talking about how dysfunction is on the rise. We have to laugh just so we don’t cry. How do we differentiate between palliative responses, which is just how do we deal with it in the moment, and then more systemic changes?

Laura Agafitei agreed and shared some of her story of being in a toxic work environment before going out on her own. Sometimes the hardest thing is to realize how toxic the situation is and that the level of distress (physical, emotional, mental) that you are carrying is in no way normal.

Claire Schwartz pointed out that what makes workplace dysfunction particularly challenging is that it is tied to your livelihood. Many people can’t just up and quit their job because their boss is toxic. Even if, ideally, it would be better for them mentally to get a job in a healthier environment.

When we reached the 10-minute mark I felt like we had done a good job of defining the problem but I wasn’t sure we had given solutions. Hence there is a part two that will be posted tomorrow.

Connect with the panelists:

Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.

Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/

She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution.

Claire Schwartz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairemschwartz/

She is a Grief Coach and Trauma Healing Expert. Demystifying and Destigmatizing Grief and Trauma healing. Working with Individuals, Organizations and Families.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

You can’t please everyone all of the time – does that mean you shouldn’t try?

Tue, 19 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Oh boy. Trying to please everyone all the time sounds exhausting to me. But Tim Hawkes was keen to have a go at this question because he believes that saying, “You can’t please everyone” is a cop out to not have to bother trying to make a situation better or care about upsetting people.

Stewart Wiggins agreed to a point. He shared an example of giving $20 prizes and people complaining that they were given $20 bills instead of smaller bills.

Lynn Whitbeck disagreed. Looking at it from a business standpoint she said, “This is not about pleasing everyone. This is about pleasing who you serve.” She then added that personally, as a woman, she abhors people pleasing.

The conversation didn’t end there. We went back and forth and worked on what it means to try to please everyone all the time. Is it about pleasing or treating with dignity?

Listen to the whole conversation before you pass judgement on it. I think it is actually surprising where we started and where we ended up.

Based on this conversation, do you agree with Tim’s idea of trying to please everyone or do you land more with Lynn and being focused about who you try to please?

Connect with the panelists:

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems. He is in the UK

Lynn Whitbeck: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lynnwhitbeck/

She is the Founder & CEO of Petite2Queen where she helps people Get More Clients and Uncover Hidden Profits using her Results Driven Sales Strategy System.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you respond when someone says something mean and then adds “just kidding”?

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Well, this was not the conversation I expected to have on this topic. All three of my panelists they use “just kidding” in conversation.

In contrast, I find it inauthentic and rude.

Bonnie Versace shared that she uses it as “benign sarcasm.” She doesn’t mean for it to be harmful or detrimental in any way.

Atif Agha agreed saying some people just think it’s funny or they might be using it to say, “I didn't mean to say it, or it didn't come out right.”

Brandon Mahoney went further saying it is up to the recipient to understand the relationship well enough to realize if the person saying it meant to be hurtful or if they really are just teasing and joking.

After years of being told I was too thin skinned and I couldn’t “take a joke” I finally realized it is not my responsibility to have thick enough skin to be okay for you to cut me and laugh while I bleed.

What do you think? Is “just kidding” an okay way to smooth over something off-putting you might have said or is it a cover up for being rude? Do you use it or do you really dislike it?

Connect with the panelists:

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED LLC. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Does the end ever justify the means?

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Dr Cole Galloway started us off by saying there is no absolute answer to this question. It depends on what the “end” is and it depends on what the “means” were. There are certainly times were winning the battle isn’t worth the damage you caused to win it.

Joe Pici came in with a hard line in the sand. “The end never justifies the means. How you get there is more important than arriving.”

Fallon Siniscarco said it comes down to morals. She would rather work really hard and not get the outcome she hoped for than to cheat to get the end results she wanted.

Then I wondered why it’s so clear when we sit in our little zoom boxes (which I stumbled over badly trying to say) that bad means aren’t justified by a good end. But in the real world, it doesn’t play out like that.

In the real world, the people who cheat often do win. We talked about that near the end of the conversation too.

What do you think? Does the end ever justify the means? And how do you handle it when you see people cheating their way to success while you struggle to do things fair and square?

Connect with the panelists:

Joe Pici: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joepici/

He is a speaker, coach and strategist specializing in results driven sales training for top sales professionals

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be starting grad school in the fall to study the same.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Why does having someone pity you feel so awful?

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Pity is a strange emotion. Is it the same/similar to empathy? I didn’t think so but one of the panelists suggested that maybe it is. Listen in and see if you agree or not.

Daniel Gramkee started us off by noting the difference between just pitying yourself verses having other people notice that you are.

Alexi Bracey noticed that when someone is feeling pity for you, they mean well but often come with unsolicited advice and information, which can make you feel worse rather than better.

Kevin Wash thinks that some people mix up pity and sympathy. He feels that sympathy is sincere concern. And pity is condescending, contemptuous, aggressive – patronizing (I agree with that last one).

What does it mean to pity someone (or have them pity you)? Is there any positive aspect to it? Why do you think it feels so awful?

Connect with the panelists:

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Alexi Bracey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexi-bracey-34935a7/

Mission Happiness. Promoting happiness for no reason. Bouncing back after cancer and dementia prevention specialist.

Daniel T Gramkee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dtgramkee/

He is a photographic artist with a background in performance and coaching who will capture you at your competitive best

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What if you don’t have friends at work?

Wed, 13 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

When I asked, “Is it important to have friends at work?” (https://youtu.be/9egtuaT11y8)? This panel unanimously agreed that it is very important.

The question of what if you don’t have friends at work followed so naturally that we had to get together again to discuss it.

Dave Roberts started us of by saying if you don’t have friends at work, you can at least be friendly, collegial and cooperative. That could help you get a promotion or develop friendships.

Glady Baradaran thinks that leaders have a role in helping their employees develop friendships.

Todd Karges pointed out that there are benefits to an organization for its employees to be friends and in that case, he agrees that it should be intentional. But he also noted that he has worked with people who didn’t have friends at work and that was because they weren’t open to making friends.

All of that said, I have been in situations where my friendliness was taken advantage of and people just dumped their work on me.

Is it a big deal not to have friends at work? If someone doesn’t, should they go out of their way to create them?

Connect with the panelists:
Glady Baradaran: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glady-baradaran-6238071a/

15 years of HR experience and a love for organizational development. Based in Canada.

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.

Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you get over not anticipating an “obvious” problem before it happened?

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Hindsight is 20/20. Monday morning quarterbacking. It’s easy to look in the rear-view mirror and “know” things were going to turn out like they did.

I share a story during this conversation about doing something “stupid” and breaking something that was important to me. I was SO angry at myself because I know better.

Philip Tate started this conversation by saying you have to give yourself some grace and allow yourself to learn from your mistakes. Later in the conversation he brought up self-compassion.

Stewart Wiggins talked about Mike Tyson – you can do lots of planning but once the punches start flying it becomes a problem-solving exercise. It’s not about how you look at it when it happens but how your respond to fix it.

Inga Hebdon added that trying to anticipate all possible problems before they happen can be a spiraling rabbit hole that gets you stuck doing nothing.

I feel like we danced around this topic more than answered. Grace. Learn from it. But letting go of being angry at yourself? I don’t think we came up with a good answer.

How do you let go of a mistake you “should” have seen coming? Or maybe worse, did see coming (like the story I shared) and didn’t stop it?

Connect with the panelists:

Inga Hebdon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/inga-hebdon/

Leadership & Personal Impact Coach helping people increase their impact, their ability to lead, influence, and act strategically.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you observe but not absorb the stress of living in a global world?

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Staying informed but not overwhelmed with negative news can be a challenge.

Ed Samuel started us off by saying he uses his faith to help him stay sane in a broken world.

Jim Tam thought that his career was going to be very global, living the ex-pat life, speaking multiple languages. And at first it was very cool working with people from all over the world and learning about their cultures. But then the realities of being awake in the morning to talk to South Africa and at night to connect with Singapore started to take a toll. Not to mention the atrocities that are happening all over the world.

Atif Agha brought up how connected we all are. And wondered about navigating the major changes we see in the world while still having an identity, having a purpose, having a meaning in life. We are living in a world that is very different from even the world our parents grew up in and it is only changing faster for the next generation.

I feel like if it’s not something I can control or impact directly, I can’t let it make me crazy every day.

What works for you? How do you keep your sanity when it feels like the whole world is a dumpster fire most of the time?

Connect with the panelists:

Ed Samuel: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edsamuel/

Is a career coach at Sam Nova where he helps mid to senior leaders get to a better place, whether they are working or in transition.

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How should anger be expressed in the workplace?

Fri, 25 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Before we turned on the recording, we talked about how to word the question. I wondered if we should make gender part of the equation. We talked about how anger can be used for power (Steve Jobs was known to cry to get his way).

In the end, we landed on how to express anger at work. This turned out to be part one of a three-part conversation.

Catarina von Maydell started us off at the beginning – where is the anger coming from and what is the context of the situation?

Claire Schwartz added that knowing the goal is important. You can’t just expect to explode at work and for that to be acceptable. Yes, express your emotions. Also, yes you must have it under control.

Laura Agafitei brought in the cultural aspect, that in most cases anger is seen as a negative emotion and it is important not to escalate the situation.

How do you think anger should be expressed at work?

This is a panel of brilliant, powerhouse women. If you aren’t connected with them, make that happen today. I am better for knowing each of them.

Connect with the panelists:
Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.

Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/

She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution.

Claire Schwartz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/clairemschwartz/

She is a Grief Coach and Trauma Healing Expert. Demystifying and Destigmatizing Grief and Trauma healing. Working with Individuals, Organizations and Families.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What does it mean to be worthy?

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Oof. This was a tough one. There was no way we were going to cover something this deep in ten minutes. But we gave it a good try.

Christopher Jerjian started us off by admitting this question stumped him. He thinks it must be about being worth in a specific area because you can’t be worthy of everything.

Fallon Siniscarco said it depends on who is making the measurement. How gets to decide worthiness? If it is someone in authority over you, a teacher or a boss, they get to decide if you are “worthy” of a good grade or a raise. And you have to decide what you have to do to prove you are worthy if you think you are.

Bill Haase compared it to Boy Scouts. If you earn all the badges, you are worthy of being and Eagle Scout. He also agreed with Fallon that if you believe you are worthy, run with that.

I believe what determines worthiness depends on what you follow it with. Worthy of… of what? As a human you are worthy of happiness. Worthy of certain human rights. There are other things that you have to jump through hoops to be worthy of. Like Bill pointed out.

We then get into how different the perspective is for Fallon, just finishing college, and for the rest of us who are further along in your lives.

What do you think? What does it mean to be worthy?

Connect with the panelists:
Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.

Christopher Jerjian: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjerjian/

Commercial real estate for 40 years he focuses on creating spaces for small businesses

Bill Haase: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bill-haase-a506299/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What does it mean to lead yourself and is it a prerequisite for leading others?

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

I recently heard someone give this advice to a group of students, “You have to be able to lead yourself before you can expect to lead others.”

Everyone nodded along like it was sage advice. But I wondered, “what does that even mean and is it true?”

Lucky for me I have a platform designed to asked exactly those kinds of questions.

Kevin Wash answered the second half of the question first with a strong yes. He believes that being a leader requires leading by example. Anything else is hypocritical.

Kelle Jacob agreed saying she believes that leading yourself means having a vision. Too often people are running on autopilot and checking boxes rather than being clear about where they are going.

Michael Sicuranza came in with conceptual agreement – The best leaders do all the things Kevin and Kelle talked about. Then he pointed out that there are lots of examples of people who didn’t practice what the preached and weren’t very great people. And yet, they managed to maximize leadership, gotten people to follow them and created success both personally and professionally.

My experience working with high powered, successful people – On paper it looks like they are “leading themselves” but that often isn’t what is actually going on.

What do you think? What does it mean to “lead yourself” and is it a prerequisite for leading others?

Connect with the panelists:

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Michael Sicuranza: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelsicuranza/

CEO of Affinity Wealth Management where they focus on helping small business and corporate executives make better choices with their money

Kelle Jacob: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelle-jacob-0912a523/

She is a Master level Holistic Health, NLP, EFT, and Hypnotherapy Practitioner and the founder of ASRI Wellness, she helps high-performing professionals on the verge of burnout create better habits.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How can leadership be made more accessible?

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

It isn’t a secret that the farther up the corporate ladder you go, the less diverse it becomes. I decided to ask three guys who have been at the top of their respective ladders about it.

Dr Cole Galloway, who works in social justice, started us off by talking about mission. If you are looking for leaders who will continue to propagate and manipulate and cultivate a top-down mission, you are going to have a hard time getting diversity at the top.

Dr Bob Choat agreed and then added that with startups, the mission comes from the founder. As they grow the culture gets stuck in ridged thinking. To get out of that they might need to bring in people from the outside.

Gary Fredericks really like the bottom-up approach. And pointed out that you can’t legislate people or an organization accepting someone different from them. He believes it starts with teaching creativity and outside-the-box thinking.

About halfway through the conversation I picked up Dr Bob’s point about culture. If we are hiring for “cultural fit” it is REALLY easy to hire people who are just like us because they are easy to talk to and connect with. I feel like that causes diversity to be squeezed out as we move up the ladder.

I asked the panel what they think can be done about that.

At the very end with no time to discuss it, I asked this: Are the people you want to be in leadership tomorrow, getting the skills to do that today?

What do you think?

Connect with the panelists:
Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses. They make business easy.

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

You put together a proposal with a partner. The client only wants to work with one of you. What do you do?

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This question came from a real-life situation. Regardless of whether you are the one left out in the cold or the one asked to abandon the person you worked with to create the proposal; this is messy.

Karen Loomis started us off by sharing a story of her experience with this exact issue and that when it happened, she wondered what she would have done if she had been on the other side of it.

Rick Alcantara went next saying he believes it is conditional and that he has been on both sides of a situation like this. It really requires an understanding between you and the person doing the proposal so you both know where you stand if something like this comes up.

Bonnie Sussman-Versace agreed saying that anything you can do beforehand to preempt these types of issues is ideal. When she had this situation she and her partner went back to the client and explained that it really was a two-person project and asked for a trail period to work on it together.

What do you think is the ethical thing to do in a situation like that? What does having integrity look like?

Connect with the panelists:
Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED LLC. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/

Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University. She is passionate about social change.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Sometimes, there are no important benefits of doing a task beyond a basic acceptable level. True or false?

Fri, 18 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This conversation did not go as I expected it to. I thought we would talk about how you decide when to give 100% and when to let something slide a little bit so you can put more effort into something else.

I am noticing now as I type this, that when I’ve had this conversation before (not on Quick Hits) it has been with women. Now I’m wondering if having more competing priorities makes a difference.

I can 100% tell you, there are things in my life I choose not to do perfectly – weed my flowerbeds. As long as they look good from the sidewalk, I’m (mostly) not going to worry about the little weeds only I can see when I’m actually in the bed.

But work stuff that is different.

Here is the summary of how the conversation started.

Pascal Derrien started us off by asking us to look at the other side. What if you are expected someone to do something to a high level and you get mediocrity instead? He believes if you are going to do something, do it really, really well or just don’t do it.

Joey Robert Parks wondered no important benefits for who? And depending on expectations, it may or may not be a big deal not to do something perfectly.

Ed Samuel thought it depended on the situation. If you are in a time crunch or up against a deadline, you simply might not have the ability to do something to the highest level possible because you have to get it out the door. However, he like the other two will tend to err on the side of doing something of a high quality if at all possible.

Do you think there is ever a time when it is acceptable to do something at say 85% because it’s good enough? Might there be a difference in the way men and women answer this question?

I might have to do an all-female panel and find out.

Connect with the panelists:
Pascal Derrien: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pascalderrien/

CEO of the nonprofit Migraine Ireland and an avid athlete

Ed Samuel: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edsamuel/

Is a career coach at Sam Nova where he helps mid to senior leaders get to a better place, whether they are working or in transition.

Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/

He is a 32-book author and ghostwriter and The Da Vinci of Writing. He can write in any style, genre, or topic, and make it sound natural, like he’s been an expert in it for decades.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is the difference between being skeptical and being cynical?

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Michael Davis started us off with the perfect framing: a cynic is negative ▪ and stays planted in his or her beliefs. A skeptic is a healthy optimist. It's a difference between being open minded and closed minded.

Stewart Wiggins agreed saying he thinks most of us are probably skeptics but that there are some people who always believe something bad is going to happen. That cynicism often leads to those bad things actually happening.

Gary Fredericks came in strong with the idea that being skeptical is a key ingredient to good leadership; having that ability to go through the checks and balances to make sure the facts are adding up. He also shared that he can be cynical – particularly about spinach (we disagree on that. I like spinach.)

I followed up by wondering if someone is being negative, if they are skeptical, are they are open to changing their mind but if they are cynical, is it a waste of time to even try to talk to them?

Toward the end I asked a more practical question: How do you notice if you're kind of sliding into that cynical space? And how do you pull yourself out of it?

Do you agree or disagree with Stewart’s point at the end about marriage being helpful to keep you from being too cynical?

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses. They make business easy.

Michael Davis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaeldavisspeakingcpr/

Founder of Speaking CPR where he helps business leaders and speakers improve their presentations and speeches

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you maintain a poker face when it is best to not give away what you are thinking?

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Jim Tam’s first thought was, if you’re on zoom, turn off your camera. It takes practice to keep a straight face and can be important in negotiation situations. He suggested preparing ahead of time to avoid being surprised because surprise might be the hardest tell to hide.

Stewart Wiggins shared an adage from his time in the military: “if you're smiling, you're not doing your job.” But that learned behavior didn’t serve him when he got out of the military because people would misread his body language.

Catarina von Maydell built on what the other panelists said by saying one of the hardest things about a poker face is deciding when and if we should or should not use it because it can be damaging to relationships if we need to be building trust.

We shared a few stories and towards the end I asked the group how the learned when and how to use or not use a poker face.

Since most of communication has nothing to do with the words we say, this is a topic we would all do well to think about a little more than we do.

How do you keep a straight face when the emotion you feel is not what you want to share?

Connect with the panelists:
Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Catarina von Maydell: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catarinavonmaydell/

She helps business leaders build disruptive business models and define key leverage points to create powerful change and impact using a process of systemic, organizational, and human evolution.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Is it important to have friends at work?

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Glady Baradaran started this conversation by say unequivocally yes. For her, having a best friend at work who she can send an eye roll emoji to during a meeting to feel the relief of having a shared experience is super important.

Dave Roberts agreed saying that having friends at work for the emotional support makes the day-to-day experience better. He also shared a personal story about how having friends at worked helped him get through the loss of his daughter.

Todd Karges brought in the idea of friends being able to provide and help create psychological safety that managers or the larger organization as a whole just can’t offer. Which might be a flaw in the organizational structure that employees have to figure out how to make that happen on their own with each other.

I followed up with the question, are friends at work different from friends outside of work. You’ll have to tune into our conversation for their answers.

Do you think that having a friend at work is important?

This panel enjoyed their time together so much they asked me to schedule them together again to answer the question, what if you don’t have friends at work?

Look for that conversation in the coming days.

(Apologies for Glady’s scratchy mic. She was able to get it sorted ahead of our next conversation.)

Connect with the panelists:
Glady Baradaran: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glady-baradaran-6238071a/

15 years of HR experience and a love for organizational development. Based in Canada.

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.

Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you navigate a new position hasn’t been completely defined?

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

We covered some things I WISH I had known when I first started working. It would have saved me a lot of stress.

Brandon Mahoney’s opening volley was that you should assume you are there as the expert. They hired you because they need someone to do something. Exactly what that something is might be up to you to define because you bring knowledge and skills the organization didn’t have before.

Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman added that you have to bring curiosity, particularly if you are brought into a situation of change or flux. Talk to your coworkers. Try to understand the culture and how the organization functions. Recognize that you don’t know what you don’t know and might not even know what to ask.

Joe Pici agreed with being curious, adding that he doesn’t do anything without understanding scope. He is going to come in with a lot of questions about the project, the role, how success will be measured, results, timelines. Once he has that, his expertise and knowledge can shine and he can be creative about how he gets things done.

There have certainly been times in my life where the role I was filling was not clear and then I was told I was not performing – performing to what metric? What were they measuring? (I wish I would have asked rather than just accepting their opinion).

What has worked for you when responsibilities aren’t clear? What have you done that has worked or not worked?

Connect with the panelists:
Dr. Rhonda Bompensa-Zimmerman: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-rhonda-bompensa-zimmerman-138aa3b/ She is the Substance Use Response Coordinator at the Maricopa County Department of Public Health and she runs marathons

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Joe Pici: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joepici/

He is a speaker, coach and strategist specializing in results driven sales training for top sales professionals

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Can emotional intelligence be cultivated as an adult?

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This was a deep and insightful conversation with three guys who innately have an interest in how we interact as humans. We covered a lot in ten minutes and I would love to hear your (the viewer/listener) thoughts and responses.

Stewart Wiggins started this conversation by posing a different question: why are there so many bad leaders out there or bad managers?

Is the reason there are so many bad leaders because leadership training is trying to teach emotional intelligence and it’s not something you can learn? Maybe you can learn the behaviors that align with emotional intelligence but going through those motions doesn’t mean you have become emotionally intelligent.

George Rotsch believes we are thinking about emotional intelligence wrong. He compared it to math skills. Some people are really good a math. Other people aren’t as good; it doesn’t come easily to them. They can learn math. They can get better at it than they might be naturally but they are never going to be as good at math as someone for whom it just makes sense.

George believes the same is true of emotional intelligence. If you aren’t good at it, you can get better but it unlikely to ever come naturally to you. He put it succinctly: “We can teach it. We should respect it as a gift.”

Justin Dorsey agrees saying there is a cynic in his brain that says, “If you don’t get it, you don’t get it.” And he has seen that in trying to teach EQ from an HR stand point. The people who need it the most never think they are they ones who need it.

What do you think? Can EQ be taught/learned or is it a pipe dream?

Connect with the panelists:

Justin Dorsey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-dorsey-sphr/

Background in corporate HR as well as in consulting. He has a Passion for People.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

George Rotsch: https://www.linkedin.com/in/georgerotsch/

He is the director of communications for Delaware Live and a Communication consultant with clients across the country

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you network and stay in touch in the virtual world?

Wed, 09 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Rick Alcantara started us off by sharing the multitude of ways he has been able to network virtually – associations, boards, Chamber of Commerce, chatting with friends and even doing Quick Hits is on the list.

Jim Tam reminded us that your network is your net-worth; which makes networking and staying in touch invaluable. To his point, if you are driving in your car, don’t waste that time listening to the radio. Make a call and have a conversation with someone to stay in touch.

Catherine Fitzgerald is self-professed to be compulsive about adding contacts to her phone along with notes about where they met and who they are. She also does a lot of introductions to help other people to connect.

That said, it is very easy to fill your calendar with meetings that you could call “networking” but have no actual value for you or the other person. One and done, you’ll never remember each other meetings are pointless.

I also tell a funny story at the end about the first time I asked Russ (my husband) to have coffee with me.

How do you stay in touch with people in the virtual world?

Connect with the panelists:
Catherine Fitzgerald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-a-fitzgerald/

Is a writer, speaker, certified coach, and founder of Brass Tacks with Heart-executive coaching. She helps founders, owners, and C-Suite Executives and their teams to build businesses that fuel their lives, not consume them.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is the etiquette for asking someone to use your calendar link?

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This is a conversation that needs to be had more often because I don’t think enough people understand how to use a calendar link without coming off as rude.

Steve Ramona started us off by saying you have to have a relationship first. Don’t just throw your link at people and expect them to book time with you.

Janice Dru-Bennett agreed and added that it depends on the relationship you have with the person. A good friend is likely to be put off if you send them your booking link.

She also brought up the great point of cancellations. If she uses your link to schedule and you cancel, it’s on you to reschedule. And if both send each other their link, who is it on to schedule?

Kevin Wash is old school. He doesn’t have a link and he doesn’t use them to schedule. If he can’t talk to the person he needs to meet with, or at least their assistant, there isn’t much point in setting up a meeting.

I would rather use someone else’s link because I don’t like random meetings all over my calendar. I want like meeting bunched together. And I think it is ridiculous when I go to schedule with someone and they have one slot six weeks from now.

Connect with the panelists:
Steve Ramona: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steveramona/

Global Sales Director at InPhone, a podcast coach and the host of the podcast, Doing Business with a Servant’s Heart. He is in California.

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Janice Dru-Bennett: https://www.linkedin.com/in/janicedru/

Building strategic partnerships for a health tech company and also an entrepreneur helping nonprofits and start-ups grow.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What does it mean to “seize the day?”

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Karen Loomis started us off with what that saying means at first blush – go as hard as you can and do all of the things. Hard driving, fast moving. All of it all of the time. Grab all the opportunities. But what if there aren’t opportunities to grab?

She added further into the conversation that it means letting go of your to-do list and doing the thing that is now or never.

Yonason Goldson said he used to be the kind of person who said no and then thought about the question. Then he realized he was missing out on things so he switched to saying yes and then thinking about it. That wasn’t the best option either. The ideal is somewhere in the middle.

Stewart Wiggins said he used to follow the “go forward as fast as you can, as hard as you can” idea of seizing the day. But now he has a more measured approach. Sometimes seizing the day means putting your feet up and letting the world happen around you.

I agree with all of those things. And I think there needs to be an addendum that says, “Do the things that make you happy and don’t feel guilty about it.”

What does it mean to you to “seize the day?”

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/

Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University. She is passionate about social change.

Yonason Goldson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yonason-goldson/

aka the Ethics Ninja and the Hitchhiking Rabbi, works with leaders to create a culture of ethics that earns trust, sparks initiative, and limits liability. He is the award-winning podcast host of Grappling with the Gray and author of the book of the same name.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is “office politics” and what has been your experience with it?

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Dr. Mohan Ananda started us off by saying there are two kinds of office politics. One that causes problems and for which the person doing it should be removed. Or two – the kind that causes competition and is okay.

I’m not 100% sure I agree with that. I’m not sure it can be defined as “office politics” if it is a good-natured rivalry – although to be fair I don’t think those are healthy in an organization either.

But Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz agreed that office politics can be either positive or negative and the culture of an organization dictates which it is.

Joey Robert Parks looked it as a freelancer coming in from the outside. He has learned that it is important for him to listen and learn so he can adapt and flow with the existing office politics, even if he doesn’t really understand it.

Towards the middle of the conversation, I shared that I had worked in organizations where I felt like leadership had no idea that the office politics were as bad as they were.

All three panelists had an opinion about why that is and what should be done about it.

How do you define office politics and what has been your experience with it?

Connect with the panelists:
Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/

Is a 32-book author and ghostwriter and The Da Vinci of Writing. He can write in any style, genre, or topic, and make it sound natural, like he’s been an expert in it for decades.

Dr. Mohan Ananda: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mohanananda/

Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kniechwiadowicz/

Senior Manager of Talent at Alkegen where she leads their global learning and talent management initiatives. She is passionate about helping individuals make an impact and exceed their potential.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Why is letting someone help you such a powerful connector?

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Asking someone for help shows vulnerability and trust. But what if you don’t ask. Instead, they offer. Does accepting that help create the same kind of connection? My experience says yes. I asked today’s panel why they thought that was the case.

Lisa McDonald started us off by talking about the safety that comes from connection and trust.

Dr Peter Economou added that we are communal beings and brought up the difference between how men and women ask for and accept help (ask for directions lately?).

And Laura Agafitei brought in our ability to grow and better ourselves by accepting help.

When I work with teams I will ask if anyone would feel put-upon if a teammate asked for help. The answer is universally no. But when I ask if they would ask a teammate for help, usually the answer is, “I don’t want to bother them.”

This conversation is a powerful look at how humans connect by supporting each other and I am really thankful that these three lovely humans helped me talk about it.

What does this question and our conversation bring up for you? Help me out by sharing in the comments.

Connect with the panelists:
Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.

Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/

Founder of Career Polish where she is an specializes in career management and executive presence.

Dr Peter Economou: https://www.linkedin.com/in/peter-j-economou-4b4000a/

With a Ph.D. Counseling Psychology, he is an Executive Growth Consultant, Rutgers University Faculty member and the Director of Athletics Behavioral Health

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you get a subordinate to tell you a difficult truth?

Wed, 02 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Philip Tate wanted to hit lead-off on this one because he sees it as the ultimate communication question. You have to create an environment that encourages honest dialogue and ongoing conversations by asking open ended questions and being an active listener.

In a communication audit, you need to provide anonymity and confidentiality if you expect to learn the truth about a difficult topic.

Abby McCloskey agreed. You have to lay the groundwork for a good relationship if you want someone to be comfortable enough to share hard things with you. And when they do venture out to answer a tough question, it is on you, as the leader to receive it well. If you don’t really want to know and then do something with that information, don’t ask.

Michael Sicuranza agreed that it is easy to get defensive and forget about having compassion; remembering that the people who work for you have a fear of repercussions. If you are compassionate with giving them feedback, they will care enough about you to tell you the truth too.

I bundled it into creating a foundation of psychological safety BEFORE you expect someone to have a tough conversation with you. Without it, subordinates will hide bad news until it explodes.

This question is straightforward if you are a leader.

For those watching who aren’t leaders yet – what do you need to be willing to share a work thing that isn’t going well with your boss to warn them or maybe ask for help?

Connect with the panelists:
Michael Sicuranza: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelsicuranza/

CEO of Affinity Wealth Management where they focus on helping small business and corporate executives make better choices with their money

Abby McCloskey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abigail-mccloskey-cfp%C2%AE-clu%C2%AE-b8233a5/

Certified Financial planner helping people to live a fulfilled life

Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What do you expect from people if they are empathizing with you?

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This is harder to explain that I expected it to be. It is interesting how we can want something from someone but not be able to explain what it actually looks like to receive it.

Fallon Siniscarco started us off by talking about active listening and not having a pity party (I can get behind that! There is nothing worse than trying to talk to someone about something and getting pity instead of empathy.)

Kevin Wash believes that some people have the ability to empathize and some people just can’t and that fake empathy is the worst. The two things he looks for from someone is honesty and sincerity when the empathize with him.

Dave Roberts explained it using terms that are often used in therapy and coaching – creating space. To show that they get without saying “I understand” if they have never been there.

I shared a specific story that recently happened to me. I don’t know that I shared the nuances of the situation well due to the time constraints of Quick Hits but Kevin and Dave disagreed with the way I handled it.

If you knew someone professionally, in the situation I described, what would you have done the same or differently?

Like I said at the top – it was an interesting conversation.

What do you expect from someone who is empathizing with you?

Connect with the panelists:

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.

Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

When someone is sharing mis-information and you know they are wrong, what do you?

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Well, this wasn’t an easy conversation. As is the case with so many of the questions I ask, it depends. How much does it matter? Who is it hurting? Will it make any difference if I do/say something?

Judy Musa started us off in a great place – Am I sure that I am understanding the person who is giving the information and am I sure it is wrong? She went to verify her source before making a decision about doing anything else (smart).

Dr Bob Choat is a self-admitted researchaholic. People know to ask questions like “is this true” before sending him things because he will find the facts. He gave us several tips on how to educate ourselves so we aren’t spreading mis-information.

And Dawn Gagye shared how her dad encourages her children to be a little bit skeptical. Don’t believe everything they see/hear/read and think for themselves.

We talked about people who are dug into their bias and no amount of information will change their mind (not attractive I must say).

I can’t do this conversation justice here in the copy. Listen to it and then I have two questions:

How do you know if something is mis-information

And

What do you do about it?

Connect with the panelists:
Judy Musa: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judy-musanj/

Founder and managing partner at MoJJo Collaborative Communications where she does Strategic Communications and is a story teller, a Content Creator and Social Connector

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD , he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Dawn Gagye: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawngagye/

She is a Strategic Marketing Guide and does Done for you marketing strategies that eliminate the stress and confusion

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Can you think outside the box without understanding what is in the box?

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This question follows on the idea that you have to understand why rules in an industry are in place to break them well or safely.

Stewart Wiggins started us off by asking what makes something outside the box and suggesting that if all previous knowledge is inside the box than any new or different solution is going to be outside the box.

Simon Coles thought that maybe not knowing what is inside the box might keep you from being trapped in there and allow you to think bigger. But then also added that outside the box thinking might not always be safe.

Chelle Shapiro believes that outside the box thinking is very safe because it is less restrictive and gives you the freedom to think about things in a away you might not have before.

If you don’t know what is “in the box” you might spend time trying things that have already been proven to not work or making mistakes that others have already made.

When I work with graduate students, I will often share the mistakes I’ve made, things that haven’t worked, so they can go make different mistakes and learn from them.

What do you think, do you have to understand what is in a box to think outside of it?

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

Simon Coles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sjcoles/

CEO at Amphora Research Systems where they free scientists from the tyranny of paper. He is also the founder of the Better Conversations Foundation.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is the difference between arrogance and confidence?

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Dr Bob Choat started this conversation off strong by introducing the Competence Model. If someone has competence, they tend to be confident but if someone is pretending to be competent, they are more likely to be arrogant.

Dawn Gagye summed up her thoughts succinctly, “Confidence as quiet and arrogance, as loud.” I think that is spot on. She went on to talk about how the energy feels different and how body language even comes into it (watch her part of the video. She does a great job of explaining it.)

Judy Musa agreed saying that arrogance comes from a boastful and insecure place. She went on to share an example from the movie Polar Express.

For me the difference has to do with being boastful – I know and you don’t or sharing – I know and let me show you.

How do you decide if someone is arrogant or confident? Do you think gender plays a role in what you decide?

Connect with the panelists:
Judy Musa: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judy-musanj/

Founder and managing partner at MoJJo Collaborative Communications where she does Strategic Communications and is a story teller, a Content Creator and Social Connector

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD , he is now the founder of the Integrated Mind Institute and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Dawn Gagye: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dawngagye/

She is a Strategic Marketing Guide and does Done for you marketing strategies that eliminate the stress and confusion

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What would cause someone to be labeled “difficult”?

Wed, 26 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This topic came out of the conversation where I asked “How do you deal with difficult people? (https://youtu.be/q83cXRIYkBI)

Karen Loomis and I have both been called difficult on more than one occasion. Interestingly, Frank Galindo and Jim Tam never have.

Karen started this conversation off by saying she has been called difficult when she doesn’t go along and just accept what someone else is saying or demanding. Challenging someone or pushing back on something will cause her to get labeled.

Jim agreed and said there is also something about intention. You wouldn’t call someone difficult who is pushing you to help you become better (you might use the word “tough” – which is interesting to think about).

Frank brought up the word “compromise.” If you are trying to negotiate with someone and they simply aren’t willing to work with you, you might call them difficult.

I shared that medical professionals have called me difficult (I’m pretty sure it’s on my chart) for asking questions. Is that because they are so overly confident that they don’t think I should be asking them questions (Just do what I’m told) or are they so not confident that they are afraid that they can’t answer my questions?

Interestingly, when a doctor has labeled me difficult, I usually think they are being difficult too.

Near the end of the conversation, I asked the panel what they do when they realize they are being difficult. How do they back out of that?

What would cause you to label someone difficult and/or when have you been given that label?

Connect with the panelists:

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Francisco "Frank" Galindo: https://www.linkedin.com/in/frankgalindo-mba/

He has 20 years of experience working in PR where he enjoys bringing people together and creating partnership relationships. He is in the US.

Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/

Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University. She is passionate about social change.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Want a summary of the Quick Hits plus the links to the LinkedIn pages of each of the panelist to show up in your in-box every week? Let me know where to send it: https://drrobynodegaard.com/quick-hits-notifications/

How do you keep a team from undermining or sabotaging a top performer?

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

When I was in high school and college other students would often shame me for doing well because I was “ruining the curve.” I have similar stories from working production jobs. “Don’t work so fast. You make the rest of us look bad.”

Tim Hawkes pointed out that the average performers don’t have any motivation to work harder. It’s much easier to tear someone down.

Dr Cole Galloway agreed that the only angle into the problem is from leadership. But that often there is a leadership vacuum. The idea that you can just let people “fight it out” themselves.

Tim then suggested that perhaps a common goal for the whole team was the way to go. But I pointed out that people who are happy with “C” level work will sit back and do nothing because they know the people who want an “A” will easily do enough work for the group to get a “C” (Tim rightly pointed out that I have personal history with this problem).

Do you think it is about leadership creating a mission that everyone on the team can get behind or do you think that top performers are just always going to have a target on their back from some people?

Connect with the panelists:

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems. He is in the UK

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you know if your empathy is being taken advantage of?

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Dave Roberts started this conversation off by talking about feeling drained, having someone come to you for everything all of the time and needing boundaries.

Fallon Siniscarco acknowledged that it’s normal to go to your friends for advice (never mind that they likely don’t have much more life experience than you do). But if there isn’t balance over time in the friendship, you get to talk about your stuff too, that might be time to start to wonder if you are being taken advantage of.

I then shared a story from when I was in high school and a girl who was always mean to me asked for a quarter. I gave her one thinking maybe if I was nice to her, she would be nicer to me. Nope. But you can bet the next day she asked me for a quarter again. There is something about being naïve and nice and having your empathy used against you.

I also wanted to know what do you do when you realize you’re being taken advantage of so we talked about that for a bit.

How do you notice if your empathy is being abused and what do you do about it?

Connect with the panelists:
Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.

Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What factors cause someone to be silent or even join a bully rather than standing up to them?

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Victor Fralof started this conversation with a straightforward answer – fear.

Brandon Mahoney and Stewart Wiggins agreed and I thought we were going to have the first Quick Hits ever that was over in less than three minutes.

But then we started talking about why it makes sense to align yourself with rather than against a bully. Why bullies become bullies. How people used to be more likely to “mind their own business” but now it seems like people might step in (is that true?)

We talked about how we have been bullied and times we have stood up to bullies.

I asked about what advice we had for people being bullied.

This conversation ended up being long so there were some good ideas that got left on the editing room floor. Thank you to the amazing panelists for jumping into this heavy topic and sharing their experience.

What do you think? Why do people side with a bully?

Side note – be safe out there. Don’t stand up to bullies in dangerous situations.

Connect with the panelists:
Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Victor Fralof: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victor-fralof/

Personal and professional coaching for mindset, leadership and direct sales scaling.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Is building trust for the purpose of selling or getting something manipulation?

Thu, 20 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Every sales training I’ve seen talks about building trust. If you are a good human and selling something someone actually needs or wants and you are engaging in good faith – that’s not manipulation - - right?

But, if you're sleazy and trying to get them to buy regardless of their needs or wants – tapping into their emotions and building trust to sway them – that is manipulation and that’s not cool - - yes?

Joey Robert Parks shared a story about how he used to lie – a lot. And then an idea attributed to Mark Twain. What is the difference between a lie and fiction? A lie is told for the benefit of the teller. Fiction is told for the benefit of the listener. (I can get on board with that.)

Expanded – manipulation is for the benefit of the seller. Building trust is for the benefit of the buyer.

The idea of lies didn’t come up for Todd Karges. Instead, Is the relationship being built to sell or just for the sake of the relationship?

Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz jumped in next. The word manipulation has such a negative connotation – the expectation of dishonesty or someone trying to be sly or sneaky. Which is the exact opposite of building trust (even if trust is created?) She believes the answer to the original question lies in the intention of the seller.

Near the end we played with the idea that manipulation is not negative if you have permission to do it. As in – if you read a book or go to the movies you are giving the author permission to draw you in, to create emotions in you based on a story.

But without that consent manipulation, building trust for sinister reasons, is evil.

What do you think – is building trust on purpose to gain something manipulation?

Connect with the panelists:
Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/

He is a ghost writer and the Da Vince of Wordsmithing. He’s written 32 books fiction and nonfiction for successful entrepreneurs.

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.

Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kniechwiadowicz/

Senior Manager of Talent at Alkegen where she leads their global learning and talent management initiatives. She is passionate about helping individuals make an impact and exceed their potential.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you address a problem with a conflict avoidant person?

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This was an interesting discussion to have with three people who don’t mind conflict and will jump right into or even invite a challenging conversation.

Gary Fredericks tries to start by finding common ground, something that can be agreed upon, to show he is as interested in their success as they are.

Inga Hebdon added that it depends on what you are trying to address. It is different if you have to deal directly with them versus helping them deal with a conflict within their team. But regardless, people who want to avoid conflict often are just looking for peace and avoidance is an easy way to achieve that, at least for a little longer (until it grows and explodes).

Bill Haase brought in the word empathy and then took it in a direction I didn’t expect by adding that narcissistic people will use avoidance and your empathy against you. Adding that HR protocols that require everyone be treated the same can make it even more challenging because everyone is different.

You have heard me talk about the volcano method to conflict resolution – push it down until it explodes.

Do you think that warning someone – “I know you don’t love these kinds of conversations” is a good idea?

What tips do you have if someone else is avoidant? Or if you are conflict avoidant, how do you like to have people interact with you?

Connect with the panelists:
Inga Hebdon https://www.linkedin.com/in/inga-hebdon/

Leadership & Personal Impact Coach helping people increase their impact, their ability to lead, influence, and act strategically.

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses. They make business easy.

Bill Haase: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bill-haase-a506299/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Do you have to love yourself before you can truly love others?

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

As one would expect Rabbi Yonason Goldson started us off with the biblical idea of “love your neighbor as yourself.” The idea being that you have to love yourself before you can love others. But what does it mean to love something or someone? He even gave us a quick lesson on Ahavah, the Hebrew word for love.

Lori Donofrio-Galley agreed that you do need to love yourself to love others saying, “If you're able to care and nurture and grow yourself and develop yourself, you'll have a much greater capacity to love others and to understand how to love other people.”

Bonnie Sussman-Versace commented on how once you learn self-love it just happens and you don’t have to think about it anymore.

Listening back to this conversation I wondered if that was true. But in the moment that wasn’t the question I asked.

Instead, I wondered if you can’t look in the mirror and say “I love you” it is not possible to love someone else.

And, if I don't love myself, how do I accept love from someone else?

What do you think? Is self-love a prerequisite to loving others?

Connect with the panelists:
Yonason Goldson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/yonason-goldson/

Lori Donofrio-Galley: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lori-donofrio-galley-9a970046/

I am a first-born, Type A personality who is loyal and visionary and always finishes! Clients hire me to uncover “angles” and communicate value to produce earned media for growth.

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you answer “how are you” from a friend when “fine” seems shallow but the truth is a rabbit hole?

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 15:29:00 -0300

This question came up because I have a friend in the UK who has commented on several occasions how we (North Americans) use “how are you” as a greeting rather than a question. But when he asks me, he is actually asking the question and wants an answer other than “fine.”

I asked Atif Agha to start this conversation off and he talked about being aware. It is the right friend and the right time to actually get into the true answer of how you are. Some people don’t need or want more detail than “I’m fine.”

Glady Baradaran says she has tried to teach herself not to ask “how are you?” She doesn’t like it when people ask that as a greeting and believes there are so many other, better questions you can ask someone.

Lisa Howard made the observation that if things aren’t great and a friend asks, she might say something like “going okay” or “hanging in there.” If the friend picks up from her tone that things aren’t great and stops to ask for more details or to listen, then she knows she can share a bit more. But if they must brush over it, she just keeps the details to herself.

What do you think of the question “how are you” and how do you answer it?

Connect with the panelists:

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Glady Baradaran: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glady-baradaran-6238071a/

15 years of HR experience and a love for organizational development. Based in Canada.

Lisa Howard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lhoward2/

Founder of People Core Strategies, an HR consulting company. She is a trusted fractional HR Advisor - Helping Companies Grow through Effective People Strategies

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Why are you resilient and able to bounce back from adversity?

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 15:28:00 -0300

Alexi Bracey started us off by that accepting that mistakes will happen is part of being resilient for her. Not expecting perfection makes it easier to move forward when things don’t go as planned. She also recommends doing things to take care of yourself and feed your soul.

Mario P. Fields says that there are things in life that you go into knowing they will be a challenge, going into the Marines for example. Other times, things come at you out of left field. He likes to look back at things and ask himself how he came through it and learn from it.

For Chelle Shapiro she never questions if or how she will make it through something. Instead, she believes “I will make it.” She takes the insult of people telling her she can’t or won’t make it as fuel to push her forward to prove that not only can she make it, she will. Not just to prove them wrong, but more importantly, to prove herself right.

For me what looks like resilience is actually the story of me just doing whatever the next thing was that needed to be done. I wasn’t trying to create some grand plan. I was just trying to live from one day to the next. It is only in retrospect, when I tell the story that it looks like resilience.

The last question I asked the panel was what advice they would give someone who is going through something right now who really needs to be resilient. Their answers were inspiring.

What has made you resilient and able to bounce back from adversity and what advice do you have for others about being resilient?

Connect with the panelists:
Alexi Bracey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexi-bracey-34935a7/

Mission Happiness. Promoting happiness for no reason. Bouncing back after cancer and dementia prevention specialist.

Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

Mario P. Fields: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mariopfields/

Marine core veteran. Small business owner. Host and producer of the podcast, Unarmored Talk

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What strategies have worked or not worked for you to get integrated into a new team?

Thu, 13 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Being new to a team comes with all kinds of anxieties and stressors. Coach M J Tolan suggested we start with respect and intentional listening to understand who the players are and what that team is doing.

Todd Karges added that relying on the existing onboarding structure could be risky – sometimes it’s not very good. Make sure you go in being curious about the people and how you and your work fits within the existing context.

Atif Agha agreed that respect is important and that having an open mind, recognizing that you don’t know anything about how an existing team works and you can’t come in and just start upending things and creating change on day one. You have to learn and understand first.

That is a mistake I’ve made – showing up new to an existing team and trying to start “fixing” things right off before I really know what’s going on and why things are done the way they are.

What is the best advice you have for integrating yourself into a new team? What have you done that didn’t work?

Connect with the panelists:
Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.

Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Speaker, author and entrepreneur with 35 years experience. He has lived in 12 countries and is the host of the podcast Mission I’m Possible. He is in Florida.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How does experience stack up against education?

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 15:26:00 -0300

This was a particularly interesting conversation for me because, while I do have quite a bit of education, I spent 14 years working in the corporate world before I ever went to college. When I went, I had a foundation of real-world experience to build on.

Kevin Wash started this conversation by saying his experience in Europe, where education rules, is very different from his experience in the Middle East where experience is king. And he shared a story about applying for jobs in Europe during COVID and not getting a single interview.

He wondered if the question should be ageism vs education because experience tracks so closely to age.

Stewart Wiggins started his comments by saying that education is theory and it depends on where you are in your career if that theory or experience is more useful. Of course, there are some professions that rightly require education, e.g., medical doctors, lawyers. But when thinking about business, he thinks education is important early on in your career but experience becomes more valuable as you move deeper into your profession.

And it can get silly where a job posting will require so much education and experience that no one qualifies (and sometimes they also want to barely pay minimum wage – but that’s a difference conversation).

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Is saying “thank you” enough?

Tue, 11 Jul 2023 15:25:00 -0300

Karen Loomis opened the conversation with the idea that saying “thank you” is something that should be expected no matter the size of the thing – someone holds a door for you? “Thank you.” Someone gifts you money? “Thank you.”

But is saying “thank you” one size fits all? If not, what is the next thing? What is expected?

Cami Travis-Groves then added that if someone is giving or doing something with an expectation of getting something in return, saying thank you is unlikely to be enough for them. But that is completely outside your control and not something you need to worry about.

Laura Agafitei brought in the idea of reciprocating energy. More effort or more energy from the giver necessitates a bigger thank you. But, if someone is doing something just to get something from you, that is not normal or healthy and we shouldn’t give in to that.

We then got into other ways to way thank you and Laura suggested letting someone how the thing they did made you feel.

Towards the end I shared a story of a time I said “thank you” not realizing the person expected to be tipped.

Are there times when saying thank you isn’t enough? If so, what should you do in addition?

Connect with the panelists:
Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.

Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/

Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University. She is passionate about social change.

Cami Travis-Groves: https://www.linkedin.com/in/goodjujucami/

Recovering graphic designer. Now a transformational coach for creatives. Her third book is titled Inner Growth Workbook for Creatives and her podcast is called Deep Dive Coaching for Creatives.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you move an idea from concept to clear vision?

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Being in the communications space, Philip Tate was keen to start this conversation and he brought some real-world experience. In the PR world they have the RPIE model. It stands for - Research, Planning, Implementation and Evaluation and can be used to take something from ethereal to strategic.

Tim Hawkes went next. A self-proclaimed “people guy” he talked about the banking community’s view, all agile with timescales, budgets, objectives and delivery. But they regularly produce unexciting and unengaging rubbish.

Instead, he suggested we need to include the people side and create passion for the output.

Then Steve Ramona jumped in with the idea of masterminds, having a group of people to talk to who will help you move an idea through the process and get rid of the noise. Is the idea even going to work? It might not get to clear vision but you still need to make a decision and take action.

Of course then I had a follow up question about what does it mean to have a clear vision and how clear does something have to be to move it forward.

The ten minutes just zipped by. We could have given the topic a lot more time.

How do you move something from idea to clear and how do you know when something is clear enough to move forward?

Connect with the panelists:
Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems. He is in the UK

Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

Steve Ramona: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steveramona/

Global Sales Director at InPhone LLC, a podcast coach and the host of the podcast, Doing Business with a Servant’s Heart. He is in California.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is a good/helpful response when someone tells you bad or sad personal news?

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This question stemmed from a previous Quick Hits where we talked about how to give someone really bad news (https://youtu.be/f1fiA0bhtfc). This is the flip-side, when someone tells you bad news.

Dr Cole Galloway started us of with sage advice – engage like a human. Put the business and professional airs aside and really connect with them. Say that it is awful. Meet them where they are. And don’t jump in to solution mode.

Elissa Hecker followed that up with a personal story about a colleague sharing really good news (his wife was pregnant) and how it devastated her because she was struggling with doing IVF. And he was very empathic to her situation.

Joey Robert Parks added how easy it is to be empathic to the point of “me too-ing” and launching into a story about yourself in a somehow related situation (this being common and not helpful came up in the previous conversation too).

Two thirds of the way through Cole dropped a nugget that I am going to do my best to remember. When offering to support someone he suggested saying this: “I won't worry if you'll promise me that you'll reach out whenever you need something.”

That is so powerful.

At the very end I added that Cole had sent us the Brené Brown empathy vs sympathy talk. It’s less than three minutes long and relevant to this topic. You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/KZBTYViDPlQ

What tips do you have for responding to someone who shares bad personal news with you?

Connect with the panelists:
Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/

He is an author and ghostwriter. His specialty is being able to write in any genre, often on a topic he knows nothing about, and make it read like he has done it professionally for decades. He has published millions of words in self, indie and traditional publishing.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you see people for who they really are?

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Brandon Mahoney started us off by saying time. There real is no shortcut to learning about someone.

Jim Tam looks at how someone treats people who can’t do anything for them as a signal to who someone is.

Inga Hebdon countered that someone might just have a bad day so you need to give them a second chance (which aligns with the time aspect).

Are first impressions permanent? Brandon thinks not.

Another question we asked – how do you decide when you’ve given someone enough chances?

And near the end we each shared an experience of choosing to have a “coaching” moment and let someone know that how they were behaving was not okay.

How do you decide if someone’s behavior is who they really are or if they are having a bad day and you should let it slide?

Connect with the panelists:
Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Inga Hebdon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/inga-hebdon/

Leadership & Personal Impact Coach helping people increase their impact, their ability to lead, influence, and act strategically.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What do you do when someone is sharing too much personal information with you?

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Laura Agafitei started us off by saying in the professional space she is quick to ask, how is this related to the topic we are discussing? Conversely, personally she is more likely to create some space for the person to share is she is able to listen.

Atif Agha agreed that in a professional relationship there are somethings that are better for you not to know. If someone starts oversharing, get out of the conversation if you can. If you don’t, it could make things uncomfortable going forward.

Todd Karges took the conversation in an interesting direction when he talked about how there is a push that people “bring their whole-selves” to work. But people aren’t really trained to do that. We are trained to bring only our best selves.

But when someone is sharing a lot of personal information, he likes to acknowledge that it is happening and give the person a chance to realize that maybe he’s not the right person to tell. But if they continue and he is uncomfortable, then he has to say that he would rather not hear it.

When I’m talking to people (other than clients) I consider if they will be embarrassed or if it will be awkward for them/us later for me to know what they are telling me. If so, I try to change to topic of the conversation.

Do you have a suggestion on how to address someone sharing too much personal information without embarrassing them?

Connect with the panelists:
Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach. Based outside of Toronto.

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry. Based in Dublin.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you deal with difficult people?

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Dr Jesse Carrie likes to start by having a conversation and letting the person know they are making things difficult for other people and giving them the opportunity to change.

Bo Short brought up that people who are good at sales can be more difficult to work with because they challenge. As long as they are challenging in a productive way, that is okay and even a good thing.

Rick Alcantara pointed out that how you deal with a difficult person depends on who they are and your relationship with them. A family member you have to see all of the time is going to be handled differently than the random difficult stranger you bump into once.

Connect with the panelists:
Dr Jesse Carrie: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesse-carrie-70765036/

Doctorate in Chemistry and degree in history he is currently a Senior scientist at the Idaho national lab.

Bo Short: https://www.linkedin.com/in/boshort/

He was named one of the “Top 10 Most Influential Leadership Speakers for 2023” and is

the CEO and Co-Founder of a revolutionary patented technology company that works primarily in the medical, military, and security sectors.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is the difference between not trusting someone and being professionally skeptical?

Fri, 30 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

I was surprised that this conversation got a little chippy towards the end. Particularly when you realize, I think we all agreed on the main answer to the question.

We started here:

Did you know that marketing professionals are often omitted from answering marketing surveys? Karen Loomis shared that is because marketing people think about marketing differently and could skew survey results. (Because they can see through it?)

Gary Fredericks shared that he has been burned in business by people who sound super confident and act like they know what they are doing, only to find out later they don’t. Being professionally skeptical means reserving judgment until you have data.

Dr Bob Choat agreed adding that people who are highly charismatic often sound very believable, even if they have no idea what they are talking about. That is also true for people who have letters after their name. Those letters only mean that they can jump through academic hoops. You have to vet them to determine if they really know what they are talking about (i.e. – be skeptical).

The difference for me is that once I don’t trust someone, that’s hard to come back from. Being skeptical means, tell me more. I want to understand. Help me get there.

Connect with the panelists:

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses. They make business easy.

Karen Loomis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kloomis/

Founder at No Moss Brands. 20 years as a marketing and branding professional. Adjunct professor at Grand Canyon University. She is passionate about social change

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, was a stage hypnotist, he is now an executive performance coach and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How to give someone really bad news?

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Philip Tate kicked us off with a story of someone doing a terrible job of delivering the news that someone was being let go from their job. If nothing else awful people can serve as a bad example.

Camille Diaz added that she believes that giving someone bad news and then trying to comfort them by saying, “everything happens for a reason” is simply horrible. It takes away your power and is telling you not to feel however it is you feel or ask any questions. Just accept and deal.

Kevin Wash likes to consider how bad is the bad news, not from his perspective but from the perspective of the person he has to tell. It could be a bigger or (if you’re lucky) a smaller deal than you think. And then, be matter of fact. Don’t embellish or try to soften. Just say it like it is and then move on to the practical stage of what happens next.

Near the end Camille and I talked about how waiting to give bad news make it worse. Philp summarized it really well, “Tell it first. Tell it all. Tell it now.”

Have you ever had someone give you bad news in a really awful way or do you have any tips for delivering bad news well?

Connect with the panelists:
Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Camille Diaz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/camillediaz/

She is an Optimization Coach. creating custom systems and processes you’ll love so you can do it, stick to it, and get lasting results.

Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Why are we our own worst critic?

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Cole Galloway started us off by saying it is easy to be our biggest critic because we know all the “bad” stuff about ourselves. We’ve been around for all the mistakes. But he added that we can also be our own biggest fan by remembering all the good stuff too.

Lisa McDonald pointed out that we aren’t taught to look at the positives. Being your own critic is kind of accepted but if you are your own biggest fan people are going to complain about you being too proud, bragging and being full of yourself. It is an interesting dichotomy to consider.

Coach M J Tollan then juxtapositioned (that’s not a verb but I’m using it that way anyway) the expectation of not bragging too much and social media where it is all bragging all the time to the point of people creating a façade of having the perfect life.

For me, I learned to talked to myself they way I was talked to and I have had to unlearn that as an adult.

Why do you think it is so easy to be critical of ourselves?

Connect with the panelists:
Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/

Founder of Career Polish where she is an specializes in career management and executive presence.

Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Speaker, author and entrepreneur with 35 years experience. He has lived in 12 countries and is the host of the podcast Mission I’m Possible.

Dr Cole Galloway: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cole-galloway-1ba715107/

Recovering academic working in social justice and disability, primarily with babies as the Founder at Go Baby Go

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Is being kind for selfish reasons still kindness?

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Tim Hawkes started us off strong by talking about fighting against selfishness and even Catholic guilt. And that a kindness is kind if it delivers a benefit. Whether it is selfish or not doesn’t matter.

Dave Roberts agreed that there can be ulterior motives to being kind; suggesting that if someone is trying to improve their status in the world by doing something for someone, that isn’t kindness.

Atif Agha brought in the nuance that “selfish” has a negative connotation but doing something for someone that brings you self-enrichment isn’t negative. However, a backhanded favor isn’t a kindness.

My thoughts were – it doesn’t have to be bad for me to be good for you. I don’t believe in altruism. If you are kind to be manipulative, that isn’t kindness.

How do you think kindness and selfishness are related?

Connect with the panelists:
Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems. He is in the UK

Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Is it ever okay to take revenge?

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Dr Laura Dowling started us off a little differently this time by reading from her book about the dark side and the light side of taking revenge.

Sara Oblak Speicher then took us in a direction I had not thought about – the desire of an athlete to “revenge” a loss, which offsets the work of practicing and drives the desire to play harder. She also related it to the feeling you get when you’re told you can’t do something: “Oh yeah, watch me.”

Mohan Ananda looked at revenge from an angle similar to how I did, as retaliation or retribution. He then talked about personality traits, cultural beliefs and social orders that can be part of the desire to take revenge.

After defining revenge and talking about why someone might use it, we had differing ideas about whether or not it is okay.

What do you think? Are there different types of revenge and is it ever acceptable?

Connect with the panelists:
Sara Oblak Speicher, MBA: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saraospeicher/

Former international athlete, Life coach, and transformational expert

Dr. Laura Dowling: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-dowling-dm/

She is an author, keynote speaker, coach and scholar specializing in leadership and how to use neuroscience for improved outcomes. She has 25 years of experience in corporate leadership and 15 years as an adjunct professor.

Dr. Mohan Ananda: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mohanananda/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What makes something a basic human right?

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This conversation was hard and is as close to a political conversation as Quick Hits has ever been. Human rights is a touchy subject in general, but trying to figure out what makes something a basic right, that needs more than 10 minutes.

Kevin Wash started us off strong with the idea of anything that preserves human dignity.

Gary Fredericks added taking care of people and brought up healthcare (a charged topic here in the US).

Christopher Jerjian talked about rights versus needs and how you define the similarities and differences in those two things.

Then I said something that seems straightforward but could be hugely controversial: You shouldn't be allowed to create laws or rules that tell me what I should do with myself.

I knew when I said it, we were heading in to muddy waters. We mentioned transgender, abortion, prostitution, selling your organs, homosexuality.

We recognized that if you have the ability to move (go to a different place), you can take more control of your life by going somewhere that has laws that allow you to live the life you want.

The four of us did a great job of having a challenging conversation about a subject that could go sideways very easily.

Now I ask you – what makes something a basic human right? Who gets to decide?

Connect with the panelists:
Christopher Jerjian: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisjerjian/

Commercial real estate for 35 years he focuses on creating spaces for small businesses

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What does it mean to be snobby?

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Being snobby is so insidious it is viewed as entertainment on reality TV. We inherently know what it means, but could you define it? Do you know when you are being snobby?

Those are some of the questions I asked today’s panel.

Fallon Siniscarco took the first crack at defining it, suggesting that is has to do with thinking you are better than someone else. And even more, that you have a superiority over them.

Rick Alcantara agreed, adding in that snobbiness also has something to do with cliques; who is in, who is out and looking down on people.

We didn’t mention it in the conversation but listening back to it, I feel like there is a sense of entitlement that goes with being snobby. As we did say, “I am special and you are not.”

What does “snobby” mean to you? What behaviors would cause you to think someone was being snobby?

Connect with the panelists:
Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Does being happy reduce drive and motivation?

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This conversation started in a very different direction than I expected.

I asked the question because and athlete client and I were talking about how the angst of wanting more or to be better if motivating.

That made me wonder if happiness and contentment were related to a lack of motivation.

All three of the panelists said no. That they thought happiness was a driver for being MORE motivated.

When I asked about the athlete situation Michael Goldberg talked about his experience as a boxer and how it is possible to be both happy and want to out-point his competitor.

Bonnie Sussman-Versace then asked what angst means. For me it is a lack of contentment. But then I started to wonder if I should have asked a different question.

Stewart Wiggins then tied the two things together by talking about the need for angst so you can do your best and achieve your goal which creates happiness.

There is something about happiness, complacency versus having enough discontentment to still be driven.

What do you think? Does being happy create a comfort that keeps you from driving forward?

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

Michael Goldberg: https://www.linkedin.com/in/megoldberg/

He helps Financial Advisors, Agents, & Brokers Generate More Referral Business. Is the Founder of THE Networking Group and is a fellow TEDx Speaker and author.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is the effect of unreciprocated friendship?

Fri, 16 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

I don’t know why but I did not expect my panelists to have had so much personal experience with this question. The fact that each of us has been in a situation where our friendship was unreciprocated makes me wonder if it happens to everyone.

And if it happens to everyone, does that mean everyone does it? (a question for a different conversation)

Joey Robert Parks started us off by sharing a story of a friendship he thought he had that was ended abruptly.

Racquelle Pakutz followed him up by saying she is seeing a similar thing happening to her daughter right now and she is seeing the animosity and resentment that builds up when you give to a friendship but don’t get anything back.

Justin Dorsey brought in the idea that some people say you shouldn’t have expectations in friendship but that that isn’t really possible. It is human nature to need reciprocation and balance. He also brought up that social media has made it easy to be a “looky-loo” and stay in a surface friendship, which makes it hard to develop a real friendship with someone.

Have you ever been in a one-way friendship? What was the effect for you?

Connect with the panelists:
Racquelle Pakutz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/racquelle-pakutz/

Owner of Zen Freight solutions where they do 3rd party transportation, the Founder of the podcast Trucker Talks Live, and an author who just released her second book, Unleashing Your Soul Level Magic

Justin Dorsey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/justin-dorsey-sphr/

Lead HR consultant at Employer Flexible where they work with small to mid-sized companies. He has a Passion for People.

Joey Robert Parks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joeyrobertparks/

He has Written 32 books. 29 as a ghost writer Known for listening deeply to others, giving structure and meaning to their stories, and lending his words as the occasion calls for it.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Is having a good “poker face” a good or bad thing?

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

As with many of the topics we talk about here the answer to this one is – sometimes but not always.

If you are playing poker or involved in a negotiation, it might be ideal that someone not be able to tell what you are thinking.

But in everyday life, micro expressions are part of how we unconsciously decide if we can trust someone (I shared a relevant story during the conversation).

If you are in leadership and you never show any emotion, people are going to be warry of you without really knowing why.

And the flip side can also be true. During a tough time, people look to their leader to be calm and focused. The last thing you want is someone who is freaking out. In that case, having a bit of a poker face it a good thing.

What do you think? Is having a poker face a good thing, something worth cultivating or a bad thing?

Connect with the panelists:
Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz (“knee-shadow-wits”): https://www.linkedin.com/in/kniechwiadowicz/

Senior Manager of Talent at Alkegen where she leads their global learning and talent management initiatives. She is passionate about helping individuals make an impact and exceed their potential.

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, was a stage hypnotist, he is now an executive performance coach and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

If someone’s intentions were good but the outcome is terrible, was it a good or bad thing?

Wed, 14 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

If you have never been a panelist on Quick Hits, you likely don’t know that saying the names for the introduction is hard for me. Even easy names can trip me up. It once took me five tries to say “Christina” correctly.

It’s a good laugh for everyone and I just edit it out.

But this time Tim Hawkes had to call me out. My intention was good. I had practiced Francesca Zampaglione’s last name and I nailed it on the first try. But her first name, nope. I could not say it.

After we finished the conversation Michael Davis told me I should leave it in. Since my struggle with saying names doesn’t add value to the discussion, I edited it out. I added the 20ish seconds on the end in case you’d like to enjoy laughing with us (at me?).

How much do you think intention plays in the result of an outcome?

Connect with the panelists:

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems. He is in the UK

Michael Davis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaeldavisspeakingcpr/

Founder of Speaking CPR where he helps business leaders and speakers improve their presentations and speeches

Francesca Zampaglione: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tofrancesca/

She runs a brand and image company called Dressed Smart and is the host of the podcast Office Flip Flops.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How much privacy/confidentiality should someone expect as an employee?

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

The short answer to this is (sadly) that you should assume there won’t be any confidentiality. Anything you say to anyone at work is likely to be repeated.

Atif Agha pointed out that on the record most organizations will only say, “yes, they worked here” if they are asked for employment information. But individuals within an organization are not nearly as decerning.

Christina Kelley added that anything you share publicly on social media is fair game for your co-workers to talk about openly. Outside of that people “should” be respectful of your privacy.

Brett Knopf wondered if it might be something worth talking about in an interview before you accept a job. (I wonder what that conversation would look like and if the information you got would even be correct)

Are we training leaders how to deal with things they are told in confidence? As a manager, if an employee tells me something that is HIPPA protected, do I have to keep that to myself or, because they told me as a member of management, is it now “public” knowledge within the company? (For example, is it okay for me to share with HR or other leaders?)

How much privacy or confidentiality do you expect if you share something with your boss?

Connect with the panelists:
Atif Agha: https://www.linkedin.com/in/atifagha/

Technology specialist doing data analytics and avid runner, based in Chicago

Christina Kelley: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christina-kelley-3a098514/

Works for Today Media helping customers reach their target audience through digital, print and events

Brett Knopf: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brett-knopf-5849b48/

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you decide if you should work it out with someone or cut ties?

Mon, 12 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Rick Alcantara started us off by looking at it from a business perspective. If you aren’t getting what you need from a vendor or if a client isn’t paying their bills, it is pretty straightforward that it is time to go your separate ways.

Laura Agafitei wants to give people second chances. She will discuss what isn’t working and see if anything changes. Once she sees a pattern of things not happening the way she needs them to, that’s when she knows it’s time to move on.

Chelle Shapiro also likes to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they are coming from a good place. And when it become clear that expectations can’t be met, that’s when she moves on.

I feel like it’s pretty clear in a professional setting if something isn’t working because it’s obvious when a contract isn’t being fulfilled. Personally, it’s a little more difficult. That said, I have gotten better at being willing to say, I’m not getting what I need here.

How do you decide when it’s time to cut ties and then how do you do it?

Connect with the panelists:
Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Is there a difference between personal trust and trust in business?

Fri, 09 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

We came up with several different kinds of business or organizational trust. Business to business. Person to business. Alexi brought up employee to business. And the I-don’t-have-a-choice-I-have-to-use-your-services “trust” that we might have with business like the cable company.

We didn’t talk about personal trust as much.

Tim Hawkes mentioned it a couple of times - There is something about feeling psychologically safe – “I know what to expect from you (person or business) and you deliver it every time.”

I suggested that I’m less surprised when an organization breaks my trust. But then Todd Karges mentioned churches and I realized, nope. The type of organization dictates what I expect from them.

Near the end of the conversation, I asked about the difference again and Tim responded that with a business you have some recourse. You can hire a lawyer if the breach is bad enough. If someone breaches your personal trust, there is very little you can do about it really.

What do you think is the difference between personal trust and trusting a business?

Connect with the panelists:
Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach.

Alexi Bracey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexi-bracey-34935a7/

Mission Happiness. Promoting happiness for no reason. Bouncing back after cancer and dementia prevention specialist.

Tim Hawkes: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timhawkes/

Managing Director of Unlimited Potential. Mental engineer and executive coach focusing on logical and practical solutions to challenging problems. He is in the UK

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you avoid analysis paralysis and using research to procrastinate?

Thu, 08 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

If you enjoy learning and going down the rabbit trail to see what information leads to the next, it is easy to get lost in researching.

Brandon Mahoney avoids this by giving himself a deadline of when he has to be done with the research and start putting it into action.

Catherine Fitzgerald agreed that she has a lack of motivation unless she has a deadline.

Stewart Wiggins thought about it from the group aspect, how do you keep a group on task? Identify the problem and create a road map to solving it.

The challenge is wanting to know enough that you eliminate the risk of not making the perfect choice. And that is impossible. Sometimes you have to make a decision based on what you know and then adjust as you learn additional information by doing.

How do you decide when you know enough to stop researching and start doing?

Connect with the panelists:
Catherine Fitzgerald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-a-fitzgerald/

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co-Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is common sense and how did you learn it?

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Defining common sense is not as easy as you might think! But I do know that being told you have no common sense is meant as an insult.

Michael Davis started us off by saying that physical things, like not walking in front of a speeding car or touching a hot stove – that’s pretty easy to say it’s common sense. But moral and ethical things – that’s harder.

One thing for sure, we learn common sense by exhibiting a lack of common sense.

Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz added that common sense is based on your environment. What comes easily to you or feel natural, you’re going to think is common sense. While someone who doesn’t have the same ability not feel like it’s not quite so obvious.

Dr Bob Choat gave the example of someone in the Amazon jungle. For someone who has spent their whole life in the jungle, there are things that are simply common sense. But if you or I were to be dropped in, all our common sense becomes useless; and vice versa.

In that example it is clear that common sense is environmentally contextual.

What does common sense mean to you and how did you learn it?

Connect with the panelists:
Michael Davis: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaeldavisspeakingcpr/

Founder of Speaking CPR where he helps business leaders and speakers improve their presentations and speeches

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, was a stage hypnotist, he is now an executive performance coach and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Kaitlyn Niechwiadowicz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kniechwiadowicz/

Senior Manager of Talent at Alkegen where she leads their global learning and talent management initiatives. She is passionate about helping individuals make an impact and exceed their potential.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How did you learn to delegate and what challenges have you had with it?

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Bonnie Sussman-Versace started us off by talking about giving someone else the gift of doing the thing you really enjoy or that you feel you are really good at rather than seeing it as handing off grunt work. That opens the door to the mindset that delegating isn’t a horrible thing.

Dave Roberts went next and shared a story about a boss and mentor he had as an addictions counselor which highlighted that being able to delegate starts with creating a team around you who you trust and being willing to share leadership with them.

Gary Fredericks added that he was predisposed to delegating because he doesn’t like getting involved in the details. What he had to learn about delegation was the follow up. Delegation isn’t just handing something off to someone. You also have to give parameters and expectations and then make sure the task doesn’t get lost.

I followed up with the question – If I don’t believe someone will do a job well, is that me not trusting them or them not being trustable?

How did you learn to delegate. What part of it has been a struggle?

Connect with the panelists:
Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What are the most important skills someone needs to succeed in the business world?

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

When I asked this question, I was a little bit concerned that everyone was just going to agree that being good at communication was the top skill and that would be that. But it wasn’t even on the list of things these three guys brought to the discussion.

Mark Iorio started us off by saying resourcefulness was a top skill. The ability to be open-minded and take on new ideas and solutions.

Ian Hendry agreed saying that keeping your child-like creativity was a must. Being able to use things in non-traditional ways. His second thing was being resilient, able to keep going in the face of adversity.

Pascal Derrien said having the intent and being intentional about success leads to attaining it. Is that a skill? Depends how you define it. But it certainly important.

I then asked if these things were skills you could learn or if they were things you had to be born with. That turned out to be a much more difficult question to answer. You’ll have to listen to the conversation to see what the panelists thought.

What do you think are the key skills to being successful in business and are they born or learned?

Connect with the panelists:
Pascal Derrien: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pascalderrien/

CEO of the nonprofit Migraine Ireland and an avid athlete

Ian Hendry: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ian-robert-hendry/

Owner of Elevated Elements where he helps businesses upgrade their lighting correctly the first time to reduced their electrical bill and get the best ROI

Mark Iorio: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ioriomark/

Team Building and Culture Alignment Consultant, TV Host on RVNTV, Go-Giver

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as the Mental MacGyver. My doctorate is in organizational business psychology with a concentration in sport and performance. I provide luxury level, high performance support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes. MentalMacGyver.com

At work, what makes a leader a bully vs having high expectations and creating accountability?

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Elissa Hecker started us off with a story about how a new boss ruined an organization by being directive rather than mentoring. She found that scolding rather than teaching when mistakes happen is a difference between accountability and bullying.

Jim Tam agreed adding that intent is also part of it. If your goal is to make yourself look good by pointing out that other people aren’t meeting expectations, that is bullying.

Bo Short pointed out that mandate is a management style, not a good one. That my-way-or-the-highway style if often used by people who lack confidence.

We then got into the conversation about whether someone who is a bully at work is also a bully at home and vice versa.

Where do you draw the link between having expectations/holding people accountable and bullying?

Contact the panelists:
Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries.

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Bo Short: https://www.linkedin.com/in/boshort/

Currently a Speaker/Mentor/Author. Previously a CEO & President in both privately held & publicly traded companies in the consumer products & tech sectors.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How did you learn to advocate for yourself?

Thu, 01 Jun 2023 15:26:00 -0300

Lisa McDonald started us off strong: “It’s not boasting. It’s telling your story.” She learned to advocate for herself by getting out of an abusive relationship. She suggests rather than saying, “I'm great in this” say, “here's how I serve someone else.” This is self-advocating because as you're demonstrating how your value impacts other people.

Glady Baradaran went next saying you can have both. “You can be caring, compassionate, loving, supportive. And at the same time, do self-care and advocate for yourself.”

Diane Helbig added that once we know how to advocate for ourselves, we are then in a position to teach other people how to do it. She also asked the question, does there need to be an event, a breaking point if you will, that causes us to say, “no more” and then advocating for ourselves gets easier?

There also has to be a part of you that decides, “I don't care if you think I'm difficult. I've decided that your opinion does not matter enough for me to subvert my needs to make you happy.”

This was such a great conversation. What can you add? How did you learn to stand up for yourself?

Connect with the panelists:
Glady Baradaran: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glady-baradaran-6238071a/

15 years of HR experience and a love for organizational development. Based in Canada.

Lisa McDonald: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-k-mcdonald-executive-career-coach/

Founder of Career Polish where she is an specializes in career management and executive presence.

Diane Helbig: Is the founder of Helbig Enterprises where they serve business owners and professionals who want to realize better out comes and greater happiness. She is an author and hosts the podcast Accelerate your Business Growth

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What do you do if you have to work with someone who isn’t doing their job?

Wed, 31 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

In this conversation it was clear that we had very different life experiences. How you answer this question differs depending on whether you are in academia, the military or the business world.

Wayne Buckhanan started us off by saying if you are stuck under someone not doing their job, you match their level of incompetence. It it’s a peer, box them off so they can’t do too much damage and do the best you can.

Lauren Schieffer disagreed saying you never let someone else’s incompetence drag you down with them. Always bring your best. For a peer, she would suggest trying to level them up.

Stewart Wiggins said that someone who is a bad boss doesn’t know they are a bad boss (do you agree with that?) and that you have to help them understand they are not meeting the needs of the team. If you’re the leader, you have to find ways to get them to tell you what’s going on. And if it’s a peer – your options are limited to, deal with it, use peer pressure, tell on them or leave.

When I was younger, I used to just take on someone else’s work if they weren’t doing it. Now I am much more likely to draw a line and say, are you going to be responsible or are you out?

We didn’t even get to get into what to do about someone who is just there for the paycheck and is actively trying to avoid working.

What do you do if you have to work with someone who isn’t doing their job?

Connect with the panelists:
Lauren Schieffer: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenannschieffer/

Known as The Colonel’s daughter. She is a certified speaking professional doing keynotes and training focusing on significant leadership. Based in Kansas City.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr. Wayne Buckhanan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/waynebuckhanan/

Recovering university professor Geek who loves people and teaching. Trainer working with human development professionals.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you recognize a needy client/boss before you start working with them?

Tue, 30 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Kevin Wash started us off with a story that too many of us had experienced. He was asked for a proposal and the potential client kept coming back to him for more information and in the end, they decided they had enough to just do it themselves and not pay him. (Further into the conversation he said, “Needy means greedy” and that sums it up well.)

In a positive turn, they did have to come back to him six months later and he charged them 50% more. (Not everyone is that lucky when it comes to people stealing their proposals)

Cami Travis-Groves was up next and she talked about the importance of listening to your gut. When you need income, it is easy to override your gut and take a job you know isn’t a good fit for you (I know I’ve done it).

Coach M J Tolan echoed both Kevin and Cami by sharing a story of not listening to his gut and having someone steal his content.

We talked about people asking detailed questions without wanting to pay for answers and looking out for people who want to micromanage you.

What does it mean to you for a client or boss to be “needy” and how would you notice it before you get too deep into the situation?

Connect with the panelists:
Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Cami Travis-Groves: https://www.linkedin.com/in/goodjujucami/

Recovering graphic designer. Now a transformational coach for creatives her third book is titled Inner Growth Workbook for Creatives and her podcast is called Deep Dive coaching for creatives.

Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Speaker, author and entrepreneur with 35 years experience. He has lived in 12 countries and is the host of the podcast Mission I’m Possible.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you handle it if someone says they will do something and they don’t?

Mon, 29 May 2023 17:23:00 -0300

All three of the panelists started by saying they try to be curious first. What else is going on in the person’s life that they aren’t able to do the thing they said they would? What support might they need? How can we bring this person around so they can do the thing?

Try to meet people where they are.

There is also something to be said for the relationship you have with the other person. If I know someone’s character, I’m going to respond with that in mind. If I have an appointment with someone I don’t know and they don’t show up, I’ll just send a note and leave it to them to come back to me.

Ed Samuel added that you can send gentle nudges. Something that says, “hey, I was expecting this based on our conversation.”

Both Chelle Shapiro and Jennifer Nelson talked about being recovering people pleasers and using or dealing with The Dirty Yes.

We even got a little bit into sales and how you deal with people who say they will be back in touch but then aren’t.

How do you deal with people who say yes but then just don’t?

Connect with the panelists:

Jennifer Nelson: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenwatleynelson/

She is the VP of Network Relations at Community FoodBank of NJ, as well as a Speaker and Entrepreneur

Chelle Shapiro: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chelleshapiro/

Marketing Strategist for Wellness Coaches & Consultants and recognized as one of the top 15 LinkedIn experts in New York city as well as the author of the book, Loving Yourself isn’t Selfish.

Ed Samuel: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edsamuel/

Is a career coach at Sam Nova where he helps mid to senior leaders get to a better place, whether they are working or in transition.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How would you know if you were part of a clique?

Fri, 26 May 2023 17:22:00 -0300

Fallon Siniscarco started us off by talking about how cliques can make someone feel like they are superior or better than other people.

Kim Clark went next talking about cliques in the workplace and how the use of acronyms and are jargon that outsiders don’t understand could be a way to notice you’re in a clique.

Stewart Wiggins then asked a provocative question – Are cliques a bad thing or are they just a derivative of a group of people having common interests? He went on to say he thought a clique could be a positive thing.

I disagreed saying that a clique by definition excludes and even trying to make people feel badly about not being included.

In the end I have a few questions for you – Are cliques always negative? Have you ever been in one? If so, what told you that you were?

Connect with the panelists:
Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall to study the same.

Kim Clark: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deicommunicationskimclark/

She is a Speaker & Consultant helping communicators and content creators learn and apply Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion to engage leaders & employees. She is also the Co-author of Amazon Best Seller the Conscious Communicator

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you decide how much of who you are personally you share in your business?

Thu, 25 May 2023 17:23:00 -0300

When I first started my business, I thought I had to be uber professional. I shared almost nothing about me, my life or my story with clients or potential clients. But it felt very sterile and it didn’t make people feel safe or like they could trust me.

Now I am more open and share stories about my past but nothing about what is going on now because I don’t want my clients to feel like they have to support or manage my stress in any way (that would be role reversal and isn’t good).

I wondered how other people approached it.

Dr Bob Choat started us off by asking a good question: “What is the purpose of even talking about ourselves?” If it will help the client in some way, great. If you’re just talking to hear yourself speak – don’t.

Kevin Wash went next and said that mostly the only things he shares is that is he married to an amazing woman and has three fur babies, two dogs and a cat. That’s really all people need to know to learn that he’s a warm and good guy (which is true).

Debra Caicedo took it a different way and said she shares a lot of her personal life with people because she believes it shows her passion for helps her connect with the excitement her clients feel about the event they are creating.

We noticed towards the end of the conversation that the women seem to be more open and the guys keep things more to themselves. That is in line with cultural norms. I wonder if that is generally true or just here in our N of four.

How much of you personally do you share in your work environment? Have you ever known someone who shares too much?

Connect with the panelists:
Debra Caicedo: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debracaicedo1/

VP of Sponsorship Sales and Development at Experience Epic an events production agency

Dr. Bob Choat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobchoat/

He has eight years military experience, worked with the LA PD, was a stage hypnotist, he is now an executive performance coach and is going back to school for another PhD. This time in physics

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What is your conflict resolution style when does it serve you well and when is it not ideal?

Wed, 24 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This is an interesting question to ask when I do communication and conflict resolution workshops because most people have never thought about their conflict style per se.

Fortunately, my panelists were able to articulate their styles.

Brandon Mahoney started us off by sharing that his style has evolved over time (mind has too – a lot!) and he has settled on a somewhat collaborative style. Try to work together to find a resolution rather than against each other.

As an attorney Elissa Hecker has situations where another lawyer might partner with her in one situation and then be opposing counsel in another so it’s important to her to keep things professional and even. And personally, she tries not to get too hung up in being right because it can damage the relationship.

Jim Lee was by far the most zen of all of us. He wants to be curious and understand what is happening so the conversation can move forward towards resolution.

The book I mentioned in this conversation is The Ultimate Guide to Handling Every Disagreement Every Time. Available on Amazon. (https://a.co/d/1B42Kea)

Do you have a conflict style? How did you develop it?

Connect with the panelists:
James Lee: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jleeadvisor/

Financial futurist at StratFI he has 30 years experience. Author of the book, Foresight Investing: A Complete Guide to Finding Your Next Great Trade

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you deal with conflict involving multiple people?

Tue, 23 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

This conversation was WAY harder than I expected it to be. We have all be in many situations where there was a conflict involved several people. But the only real helpful solution is to be proactive.

Todd Karges brought it up towards the middle of the discussion. You have to have an upfront agreement (I call it a Team Communication Fingerprint) so you have something to hold people accountable to.

Otherwise –

Jim Tam pointed out that it depends on your role in the situation. If you are the leader, you can somewhat take charge and made decisions. But if it is an issue with a group of your peers, the only option is to try to get everyone’s opinions and help create a consensus.

Rick Alcantara shared a situation on an athletic team he was coaching where a player simply wasn’t pulling his weight so Rick enlisted one of his teammates to address the problem.

I think it depends if the conflict is task related or a personal thing. For tasks you can all sit down in a room and hash out who is doing what in a logical way. When personal feelings get involved, it’s a lot harder.

Do you have any tried and true go-to methods for dealing with conflict involving multiple people if there wasn’t a team agreement upfront?

Connect with the panelists:

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

As a thought leader, how do you best benefit from the knowledge you put into the world?

Mon, 22 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Racquelle Pakutz started us off with the warm fuzzies of feeling good about putting good into the world. Being a heartfelt leader, she believes it comes back to her. She added the concrete benefit of growing her network.

Jim Tam stepped up next to say the benefit he gets for his thought leadership, particularly on LinkedIn, is that people either validate what he is thinking or challenge him and help him grow.

Max Lambright gave the metaphor of our lives being like a movie production. There is an entire cast and crew that is involved. And that there are three steps – do, teach and leave behind. He also agreed with Racquelle that life is a circle. Put out good things and good things come back to you.

I had to yes, and to that. You can wait for the circle to come around or you can leverage what you are doing to go even bigger things. I’m all for taking action.

One thing I have learned and can always do better – I need to put my offer out there. It took me years and several hundred Quick Hits before I even started introducing myself and saying what I do at the top of each conversation.

Of course I’m going to get more out of my thought leadership if I ask for what I want.

What did we miss? How do you leverage your thought leadership to your benefit?

Connect with the panelists:
Max Lambright: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maxlambright/

He is an 8-time President and CEO, and the current Co-founder and CEO of The Executive's Chair, a subscription and peer based online community where current CEO's and next generation aspiring leaders can receive the support, mentoring, coaching, and peer to peer interaction they need and deserve.

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Racquelle Pakutz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/racquelle-pakutz/

Owner of Zen Freight solutions where they do 3rd party transportation, the Founder of the podcast Trucker Talks, and an author who just released her second book, Unleashing your soul level magic

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

When does being kind become sugarcoating?

Fri, 19 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Dina Perreault started us off by putting a stake in the sand saying that she sees sugarcoating as misleading, potentially manipulative and condescending. She would much rather you come right out and say exactly what you need to say. Be diplomatic, sure. But sugar coating only belongs on a doughnut.

Don Gleason quoted Dave Ramsey, “To be unclear is to be unkind.” He went further to say he feels people use sugarcoating to avoid saying no when they should and that it is cruel to sugar coat rather than just being diplomatically honest.

Annette Richmond agreed saying she doesn’t like sugarcoating either. She would much rather someone be kind, frank and honest.

You can see how often in this conversation all of us are nodding along as someone says, “I would rather you just give it to me straight than sugarcoat it because otherwise I might not get the true message at all.”

Do you think sugarcoating is just a way to avoid conflict?

Connect with the panelists:
Annette Richmond: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annetterichmond/

Personal brand U. Personal brand strategist – helping people look 3-D in 2-D spaces like LinkedIn.

Don L. Gleason: https://www.linkedin.com/in/don-gleason/

President of Achieve New Heights focused on executive Career Transition and leadership as well as director of leadership and mentor at Society of American military engineers San Antonio post

Dina Perreault: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dinaperreault/

Vice President of Human Resources at The Faulkner Automotive Group | Secretary PA SHRM | Global Advisory Board Member – Achieve Next

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

What makes a group a clique?

Thu, 18 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

Of course, any conversation about cliques has to have a reference to the movie Mean Girls and that is how this conversation started. But, as we explained further into the conversation, cliques aren’t just about women/girls. Cliques are a human condition.

Elissa Hecker started us off by saying that cliques is a derogatory term and that they are exclusionary. Some people are not allowed in.

Bruce Wayne added that they are divisive and deleterious to teamwork.

Judy Musa talked about how thinking about cliques took her right back to middle school where she felt left out and not included. She also shared how she has tried to teach her children to let people who are different from them into their groups.

I shared some of my work about how men/boys are more likely to get into a fist fight and women/girls are taught to use relational aggression.

There is a funny story about that: When I was in grade school I heard my dad say “Boys are so much easier. They will just get into a fist fight and get it over with. Girls will hold a grudge for 20 years.”

I took that to mean I should solve problems with my fists and got sent to the principle’s office for hitting a boy named Danny who was mean to me.

I’m not sure we did a great job of answering the question. What do you think makes a group a clique?

Connect with the panelists:
Judy Musa: Musa https://www.linkedin.com/in/judy-musanj/

Founder and managing partner at MoJJo Collaborative Communications where she does Strategic Communications and is a Content Creator and Social Connector

Bruce Wayne Meleski, PhD: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bruce-wayne-meleski-phd-8b18118/

Doing leading edge work into the neuroscience of anxiety because modern life has dysregulated our nervous system and he helps reset it.

Elissa D. Hecker: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elissa-d-hecker-48467711/

She is the Go-To General Counsel, Collaborative Partner, and Creative Problem Solver, for businesses and the Entertainment and Arts industries

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How do you tell if you’re being fished into being vulnerable so they can use it against you?

Wed, 17 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

It is a common narcissistic trait – they get you to trust them so you will feel comfortable sharing your deepest stories and even trauma with them. Then they use that information against you.

I have personal experience with this as my ex-husband was the king of this technique. Something I didn’t think to mention during the conversation, if someone is sharing other people’s secrets, trauma or stories with you, you can be sure they will share yours with other people. That is a HUGE red flag.

Don Gleason started this conversation off with a story where he was being told it was safe to speak his mind but he KNEW it wasn’t. He couldn’t get out of the situation and ended up being chewed out for speaking the truth.

Dina Perreault says she watches out for questions that are “leading the witness.” People who are trying to pry out specific information and looking for a fight. Later in the discussion she gave the tip of “okaying” your way out of a conversation. Just start agreeing until they stop talking.

Annette Richmond added that people who are trying to draw you out, almost badgering you for information might be trying to find a way to turn your words against you.

Watch out for people who tell you you are special, better than other people, that you and they have a bond and you can tell them your secrets. I’m not saying those types of bonds don’t exist. I am saying they take time to form. Be wary of someone who immediately love bombs you and wants to know the intimate details of your life.

How do you catch people trying to dig for personal details to use against you?

Connect with the panelists:
Annette Richmond: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annetterichmond/

Personal brand U. Personal brand strategist – helping people look 3-d in two D spaces like LinkedIn.

Don L. Gleason: https://www.linkedin.com/in/don-gleason/

President of Achieve New Heights focused on executive Career Transition and leadership as well as director of leadership and mentor at Society of American military engineers San Antonio post

Dina Perreault: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dinaperreault/

Vice President of Human Resources at The Faulkner Automotive Group | Secretary PA SHRM | Global Advisory Board Member – Achieve Next

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

How to talk about being good at something without sounding like you are bragging?

Tue, 16 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

The two panelists started this conversation on opposite sides of the spectrum.

Kevin Wash gave the example of a heart surgeon – you want them to be really good at what they do and be super confident in their skills. He further pointed out that with his work, his clients should know within seven working days if he can back up his swagger with action.

Coach M J Tolan took the other side with the example of a Grammy winner saying, “Other people seem to think this song is good.”

I followed up with two examples – One: It was easy for me to downplay my volleyball skills right before a match because I knew I was going to walk on the court in a matter of moments and demonstrate my ability quite clearly.

Conversely in my professional life, I don’t have the luxury of downplaying because I would never get the opportunity to show I am world-class at what I do.

Is it bragging if it’s true? Maybe not. But it is certainly better for someone to hear how good you are from someone else rather than from you.

That isn’t always an option. You have to toot your own horn to get a seat in the band.

So how do you do that without sounding like a braggart?

Connect with the panelists:
Coach M J Tolan: https://www.linkedin.com/in/motivationalspeakertolan/

Speaker, author and entrepreneur with 35 years experience. He has lived in 12 countries and is the host of the podcast Mission I’m Possible.

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as The Mental MacGyver and providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

If someone has a problem with you, what is the best way to address it?

Mon, 15 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

When I asked this question, I didn’t think about all the different situation where it could apply; online, family, friends, coworkers, boss, peer, employees, colleagues – the list goes on.

And each relationship makes the answer to this question a little bit different. How much do you care about the person who has the problem? Some random keyboard vigilante? Who cares. Someone you love dearly, that’s a different question.

Brooke Miles started us off by sharing her experience dealing with comments on her YouTube channel. If she can find a shred of usefulness she likes to thank them and then maybe ask for more evidence based information.

Domenico Ciarallo stepped in next to say he likes to take things out of the world of abstract text, like emails, text messages or social media comments and have a real conversation face-to-face and person to person.

Fallon Siniscarco agreed, particularly for her generation. She said it is too easy to be passive aggressive if everything is done via text.

For me the first question is always, “Is this my stuff?” Sometimes it is and I need to own that. But often, particularly online, it’s not. I recently responded to a comment on one of my videos by saying, “I can tell that you believe I’m wrong and I’m okay with that.”

Sometimes someone can have a problem with you and it is their problem to deal with.

What do you do when people have a problem with you? How do you decide if you should cut ties or work it out?

Connect with the panelists:
Brooke Miles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brookethemarketingpro/

Is the President of Delaware Shout Out where they teach you to outshine your competitors on social media

Fallon Siniscarco: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fallon-siniscarco-889558267/

Student Utica university studying occupational therapy. She will be going to grad school in the fall.

Domenico Ciarallo: https://www.linkedin.com/in/domenicociarallo/

Entrepreneur and CEO at rocket sport. He is an avid cyclist and based in Canada

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

Known as The Mental MacGyver and providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

How do you handle it when you feel like you ALWAYS have to be the bigger person?

Fri, 12 May 2023 17:27:00 -0300

I realized over the course of this conversation that it is never about me wanting to slide down to someone else’s level of behavior. Instead it is about wanting them to come up and join me on the high road. (I shared a personal story about that during the discussion.

Stewart Wiggins brought it up first and we all agreed, letting go of an argument is something we learned to be better at with age.

I didn’t share it in the recording but, the idea that you can just let people be wrong.

Judy Musa compared it to Jimmy Cricket – just listen to the good angel.

That said, Jim Tam said it well – sometimes there are things convictions that you have to dig your heels in about, regardless of how frustrating it is to always have to be the bigger person.

Do you have any suggestions for how to get someone to join you on the high road when you get frustrated about always having to be the bigger person/grown up?

Connect with the panelists:
Judy Musa: https://www.linkedin.com/in/judy-musanj/

She is a trilingual Swiss-American who thrives on the challenge to solve communication problems and leveraging the power of a well-told story that educates, informs and persuades.

Jim Tam: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimtam/

Is a Principal Client Director with Korn Ferry’s Digital group where he advises organizations on how to improve their sales effectiveness through using world-class sales methodology and technology.

Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

The Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

How do you stop someone from toxic dumping on you?

Thu, 11 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

There always seems to be that one person for whom life is absolutely horrible and getting worse and they can’t wait to tell you all about it and drag you down the road of misery with them.

Bonnie Sussman-Versace started us off by sharing that she used to be that person and it took someone pulling her aside and saying, “Hey do you realize…” before she even noticed it.

Now she uses the physical action of putting her hand up to stop someone in their tracks and give her an opening to ask what is going on with them.

Gary Fredericks goes straight to the point and makes the timeout sign with his hands (Notice that is also a physical sign to pattern interrupt and get someone to stop talking) and tells someone that is too much information. I don’t need to hear it.

Todd Karges brought up the relevant point that if it is your leader who is dumping on you, telling them to stop talking isn’t really an option. Instead, you might use empathy and ask questions to try to understand what is going on with them and hopefully help them see they are being toxic.

I agree with that, assuming you have to emotional energy to give to the situation. There are times when being empathic is dangerous and you have to protect yourself by getting away from it.

How do you handle toxic dumping? What has worked or not worked for you?

Connect with the panelists:
Gary Fredericks: https://www.linkedin.com/in/garyfredericks/

CEO of On Point Partners where they provide back-office services for small businesses

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach.

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: ver-sayss https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

The Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

#toxic

How do you handle gossip when it’s about you?

Wed, 10 May 2023 15:27:00 -0300

I’ve noticed that I have recently done several Quick Hits about things that I thought would go away when I graduated from high school – bullying, peer pressure and today, gossip.

But sadly, they are alive and well in the adult world.

During this discussion Simon Coles and I talked specifically about the Better Conversations course. You can learn more about it here: https://betterconversations.courses and feel welcome to reach out to me or use the contact form on the website and mention that you heard about it on Quick Hits.

Glady Baradaran lightheartedly said you can always join in with gossip that is about you - - at least then they will have the right information.

Rick Alcantara did a great job of bringing us back to the broader risk of reputation management. With social media gossip can become a global “fact” in an instant. Do you rebut it? Or will that give it more fuel? Do you ignore it and risk it sticking?

This panel was the perfect balance of experience for this topic because we all deal with and have to address gossip professionally from different angles.

There are some interesting personal stories in this one.

Listen in and then let us know – what is your personal experience with gossip being about you and what did do about?

Connect with the panelists:
Glady Baradaran: https://www.linkedin.com/in/glady-baradaran-6238071a/

15 years of HR experience and a love for organizational development. Based in Canada.

Simon Coles: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sjcoles/

CEO at Amphora Research Systems where they free scientists from the tyranny of paper. He is also the founder of Better Conversations Foundation.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

The Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

#gossip

How do you disagree without being disagreeable?

Tue, 09 May 2023 17:27:00 -0300

The panelists in this discussion provided some really good, personally tested ideas for disagreeing.

Brandon Mahoney started us strong by suggesting that sharing that he has found it useful to provide some context and reason behind why he is disagreeing rather than just drawing a line in the sand and walking away.

Iris Culp shared some wisdom from her grandmother, “A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still.”

And Camille Diaz talked about keeping your own emotions in check so things don’t escalate.

As a group we realized that sometimes you just have to let people be wrong and let them learn. But that only works if you have the luxury having the time to let that play out.

If you don’t, you might have to lean into the relationship and say, “For this, you’re just going to have to trust me.”

Side note – don’t hire an expert and then tell them how to do their job.

What have you used to disagree without being disagreeable?

Connect with the panelists:
Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Camille Diaz: https://www.linkedin.com/in/camillediaz/

She is an Optimization Coach. creating custom systems and processes you’ll love so you can do it, stick to it, and get lasting results.

Iris Culp: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ic-growth/

Marketing and branding coach specializing in LinkedIn. She believes that once your message is clear your clients find you

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

The Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, founders, celebrities and athletes.

How do you call out inappropriate behavior without shaming someone?

Mon, 08 May 2023 17:27:00 -0300

Philip Tate started us with a story from his agency days where the big boss made an inappropriate comment to someone. Philip brought the meeting to a quick close. But then, rather than calling the boss out he called him in.

Meaning he had a conversation with him in private and explained why hie behavior was inappropriate.

Fortunately, the boss was mortified and called to apologize.

Bonnie Sussman-Versace had a different experience where she spoke to someone in private about inappropriate behavior and he responded by shrugging it off.

Domenico Ciarallo agreed that talking to someone privately was the right way to go because if you call someone out publicly the situation could escalate and then you could end up in an even worse position.

I struggle with allowing people to behave badly in public and apologize in private. That is likely because I was taught as a child that if you did something wrong publicly you should apologize publicly.

Do you think that it is always best to address situations privately or are there times when you have to take a stand in public and not worry about shaming the person?

Connect with the panelists:
Philip Tate: https://www.linkedin.com/in/philiptateaprfellowprsa/

He is a communications consultant doing Brand Building | Strategic Communications and Marketing based in Charlotte NC

Bonnie Sussman-Versace: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bversace/

Re-imaginer at FOCUSED. Where she specializes in developing leaders, building positive and productive workplace cultures, and improving individual, team and enterprise-wide performance

Domenico Ciarallo: https://www.linkedin.com/in/domenicociarallo/

Entrepreneur and CEO at rocket sport. He is an avid cyclist and based in Canada

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

I am the Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes and the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#shame #takeastand #callsomeoneout

How much and in what way do you think how someone looks effects their success?

Fri, 05 May 2023 17:27:00 -0300

Dr Jesse Carrie shared that when he was in grad school, he used to wear Hawaiian shirts. He stood out but maybe wasn’t taken as seriously as he could have been. He noticed when he got out of school and could afford better clothing, he was taken more seriously.

Laura Agafitei agreed. Saying that she is quite tall for a woman (5’11”) and that she often felt awkward for standing out as a teenager.

Dave Roberts added that as long as his students are dressed appropriately, he is much more interested in interacting with them intellectually.

However, there have been many occasions in my life where I have been told I’m too pretty to be smart.

Tattoos even came up in this conversation.

While I did have international diversity on this panel, I believe the conversation would have been even richer if there had been more racial diversity.

How much do you think looks impact success and how do you keep yourself from judging someone by how they look?

Connect with the panelists:
Laura Agafitei: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-agafitei/

Strategy and design Consultant for the health and wellness industry

Dr Jesse Carrie: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesse-carrie-70765036/

Doctorate in Chemistry and degree in history he is currently a Senior scientist at the Idaho national lab.

Dave Roberts: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-roberts-56690513/

Teacher, co-author of the book When the Psychology Professor Met the Minister and a bereavement support specialist

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

I am the Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes and the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#dressforsuccess #iflookscouldkill

What causes an organization to have a toxic culture, even when they say all the right words?

Thu, 04 May 2023 17:27:00 -0300

Todd Karges suggested that it could be that they do have “values” to treat people well but that doing that conflict with their other value to make as much money as possible. (He was not suggesting that as an excuse to treat people poorly.)

Brandon Mahoney said what many of us were thinking – the values on the website are just there to make the company look good. Inside they all know it’s hogwash (That is my word not his.)

That is corporate gaslighting.

Stewart Wiggins said he thinks it is sadly more the norm than not that what an organization says about its culture and what is actually going on are two different things. In his words: “The rhetoric doesn't match up with what's actually taking place.”

I’ve never seen or heard of an organization that openly admitted, “It’s awful to work here.” (I do wonder why interviews lie about culture. I need to do another conversation about that.)

Stewart made a great point that Todd called out for us, someone at an executive leadership level can experience the culture very differently than someone at an individual contributor level.

Assuming that is true – who is right? What is the culture of the organization?

I have told many overworked people – If you die, your family will be heartbroken forever. The company you work for will just backfill your spot and move on.

Do you know of any companies where what they say about their culture matches what it’s actually like to work there?

Connect with the panelists:
Stewart Wiggins: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewart-wiggins/

Induna Advisors – where he offers Fractional Chief Operating Officer services and Brings resources together to help scale your business.

Todd Karges: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddkarges/

Has a background in project management and building agile development mindsets. He is a transformation and change management practitioner and a leadership development coach.

Brandon Mahoney: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drstartup/

Co Founder of Launch Point Labs, National venture firm where he is the expert in creating sales departments. He is known as Dr Startup

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

I am the Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes and the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

What do you do if the kindest thing to do is lie?

Wed, 03 May 2023 17:27:00 -0300

Oh man this conversation got spicy.

Lauren Schieffer started us off with no hold barred – “You tell the truth.”

From a marketing and PR perspective Rick Alcantara agreed.

And as Kevin Wash pointed out, if you tell the truth, you never have to try and remember who you told what.

But, does the truth mean airing people’s dirty laundry? Kevin Wash shared a story about someone introducing a woman in her place of work by saying she had two kids, by two different men and wasn’t married.

The truth? Yes? Needed to be said? Absolutely not!

If someone is at risk of losing their job, would you tell a little fib to give them another chance?

Near the end Kevin asked the spicy question – what if you know a friend’s significant other is cheating?

Listen in and hear our take on that moral quandary.

How do you handle situations when it is kindest to lie?

Connect with the panelists:

Lauren Schieffer: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurenannschieffer/

Known as The Colonel’s daughter. She is a certified speaking professional doing keynotes and training focusing on significant leadership. Based in Kansas City.

Rick Alcantara: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickalcantara/

He does public relations, digital marketing and crisis communication at Rick Alcantara consulting

Kevin Wash: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevin-wash-23b90915/

Coach, mentor, author, trainer, and speaker running a consultancy business specializing in sales for international property development. Based in Spain

Dr Robyn Odegaard: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robynodegaard/

I am the Mental MacGyver providing luxury level support and coaching to executives, entrepreneurs, celebrities and athletes and the Facilitator of the Quick Hits podcast

#NeverLie #TellTheTruth #WhenToLie #Lies #FakeNews