On Purpose: The Heidi Stevens And Dr. John Duffy Podcast

Parent Nation

Sat, 23 Apr 2022 10:26:16 -0500

On this week's episode we discuss the cannot miss upcoming book "Parent Nation" that Heidi has been working on, how to understand the drivers underneath the stress and anxiety of today's kids, how to find a good therapist for your kid, and more!

A Lesson in Empathy for the Struggling Family

Fri, 08 Apr 2022 17:55:29 -0500

Today, we talk with Heidi's courageous friend, Deb, sharing some of the struggles she's experienced in her family, and offering brilliant advice on how we can react with kindness and empathy, and avoid unwittingly causing unnecessary emotional pain. This is a good one!

How To Protect Your Kids, And Why You May Not Want To

Fri, 18 Feb 2022 17:27:20 -0500

Today, after a somewhat prolonged hiatus, Heidi and John are back. In the wake of the recent talk of banned books, they are are talking about the material: books, media, halftime shows, and Joe Rogans, that we might expose our kids to, and what we keep out of their hands. They also talk about the ways in which challenging materials and topics can enrich the parent-child relationship. And believe it or not, they plan to be back soon with another episode!

Josh Hawley‘s War on the Alleged War on Masculinity

Thu, 11 Nov 2021 16:05:18 -0500

Sen. Josh Hawley's recent comments about masculinity being under attack compelled us to put together our thoughts on this topic, especially amongst our youth. We talk porn, video games, Aaron Rodgers, and more!

Meanwhile, In Basements Across America...

Sat, 30 Oct 2021 11:29:29 -0500

On this episode of On Purpose, we're talking about the phenomena of college enrollments continuing to drop over the past two years, and the growing tendency for young adults to retreat into video games and parents' basements. What's driving this trend? And perhaps more importantly, what can be done about it?

The Fall Therapy Tidal Wave

Fri, 03 Sep 2021 15:15:11 -0500

We're back! This week we're talking about the tidal wave of phone calls John's office usually receives this time of year as modern kids juggle typical age-related stresses with the looming existential threats that dominate the news these days. Also, some advice for parents on how we can help out our kids by simply becoming better listeners!

The End of an Era

Wed, 23 Jun 2021 18:09:25 -0500

This week, we discuss Heidi's decision to move on from her long-time role at The Chicago Tribune. We talk about the story of her time there, how her column "Balancing Act" came to be, as well as what's next on the horizon. Enjoy!

On Changing Courses

Fri, 11 Jun 2021 17:27:02 -0500

Illinois is finally reopening! As normal life begins to resume, we're noticing that a lot of people are changing directions. In this episode, Heidi & John explore why that might be. John also recounts how meeting his wife, Julie, inspired him to quit accounting to become a psychologist, and much more!

Marriage: The Next Generation

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 07:00:00 -0500

This week we're discussing the changing views about relationships and marriage amongst youngsters these days. Power dynamics are balancing out, and marriage doesn't necessarily have to be everyone's end goal. Find out what we think and more!

Our Latest Insights On Pandemic Parenting

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 13:17:00 -0500

Heidi and John are checking in to give an update on all things pandemic parenting. They talk about how strict/lenient we should be with our kids during this time, growing up as a boy versus a girl these days, and more!

Is There Optimism In The Air?

Fri, 12 Mar 2021 15:43:39 -0500

The worst of the pandemic is hopefully behind us, and some of the kids in our area are returning to school. So this week, John and Heidi are talking about some of the challenges they might encounter as they begin to socialize again. We also discuss the role of leniency in parenting during the pandemic as a way to promote positive family vibes!

Fourteen Talks By Age Fourteen with Michelle Icard

Fri, 19 Feb 2021 06:00:00 -0500

This week we talk to Michelle Icard, who is an accomplished speaker, educator, and author of the new book, "Fourteen Talks By Age Fourteen." The book covers essential conversations to have with your teen or tween before they start high school. Michelle is one of our favorite experts on all things teenagers, so don't miss this one!

America is Back!

Thu, 21 Jan 2021 15:09:59 -0500

This week we're talking about President Joe Biden's inauguration and the uplifting atmosphere it created. We also unpack some of the underlying psychology of why certain people may be vulnerable to believing in lies that would make them participate in events like storming the Capitol. Enjoy, and take a deep sigh of relief!

The Utility of Therapy and the Holidays 2020

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 16:54:13 -0500

This week we're talking about the unique holidays that are upon us, reflecting on 2020, and considering the crucial role that therapy might play in 2021 and beyond. Happy Holidays and New Year!

The Age of LGBTQ Acceptance

Thu, 03 Dec 2020 09:50:31 -0500

Today, we reflect on the celebratory announcement from Elliot Page that he is transgender, and how our thinking around this community has changed so radically toward acceptance in a very short period of time.

Heidi's Covid Story

Fri, 13 Nov 2020 12:34:20 -0500

We're back! Heidi recently recovered from Covid and is back to her usual self, so this week she's sharing the full story of her experience.

(Remote) Work-Life Balance

Fri, 11 Sep 2020 18:47:23 -0500

This week, John finally reveals the secret retailer from which his vests are purchased! We talk about the ways that work and life are beginning to blend, the future of what American life might look like, the recent shenanigans of you-know-who, and whether or not kindness and nuance can ever prevail over the current situation. Nothing heavy here!

There are children starving in Africa... There are children starving in Africa...

Sat, 15 Aug 2020 10:30:56 -0500

This week we're talking about the recent CDC study reporting that one-quarter of young adults has contemplated suicide during the last month. We attempt to unpack the pandemic-induced hopelessness this generation is facing, whether or not a popular coping mechanism is actually helpful, and how simply listening can be the best way to start sorting through this.

What Do Our Kids Really Need?

Fri, 31 Jul 2020 09:38:45 -0500

The ongoing, ever-changing situation about the uncertainty of the upcoming school year seems to have our kids in a general funk of disconnection and indifference. What can we, as parents, do about this? Can the pandemic actually serve as a common enemy for parents and kids to bond over? This week we're breaking down some of these things in an attempt to figure out how can we best help our kids during this time. Enjoy!

What If?

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 10:38:55 -0500

This week we're talking about therapy in weird places, and how the ongoing quarantine is beginning to make friendships difficult to maintain. We also talk about the likely rise of social anxiety amongst kids as certain activities are allowed to resume —particularly the habits of dwelling on worst-case scenarios and predicting negative outcomes.

On Discussing Race

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:53:43 -0500

This week we've got a few topics to unpack: the way companies are handling — or might be reluctant to handling — race discussions, keeping these conversations energized as the weeks start to pass, and how young people have become a vital source of hope and optimism.

Central Park & Minneapolis

Fri, 29 May 2020 11:59:30 -0500

In the wake of the terrible events in Central Park & Minneapolis this week, we’re joined by two of Heidi’s African American friends, Sherri Murphy and Raynya Simmons, to talk with them about their perspectives and experiences, as well as some insights about how to move forward.

John & Heidi's Home Improvement Hour

Sat, 23 May 2020 10:38:35 -0500

Heidi's basement flooded. John needs a new water heater. Both of them feel that school did not prepare them for the finer details of homeownership. We eventually get around to discussing the nature of cynicism and how it's become challenging to resist lately. We promise it flows...like water!

The Future

Sat, 09 May 2020 14:20:55 -0500

This week we're venting a little about how we're doing and some concerns we have as parents, talking about our kids' perception of what the next few years might look like, and even riff on some silly ideas that were marketed to parents in the 90s. Don't worry - we eventually find a little optimism, too.

The Ideal Pandemic Parenting Playbook?

Fri, 24 Apr 2020 14:59:15 -0500

Let's be real here. There's no good way to do this quarantine thing. It's okay if it just kinda sucks. So this week we're talking about embracing that notion, letting go of what a perfect quarantine might look like, and maybe even indulging in a little more Animal Crossing!

Quarantine Day 4,387,463

Sat, 11 Apr 2020 15:56:28 -0500

This week we're exploring how much of our pandemic-related anxieties are okay to be sharing with our kids. We're also discussing some movies and tv shows that have helped our families keep our minds occupied and even inspired some discourse. Enjoy!

So How's That Quarantine Going?

Sat, 04 Apr 2020 12:25:56 -0500

This week we're talking all things quarantine: is it okay to cry in front of your kids, should we be sticking to our routines, and do we really need to be using this time in a productive way? Also, Brene Brown is overrated. Enjoy!

Coping With Coronavirus

Wed, 25 Mar 2020 12:41:24 -0500

This week, we're talking about just how different daily life is from just one week ago, tossing around a few ideas about how we're coping through all of this, and sharing some inspiring anecdotes about some unique ways people are helping.

Does The Bachelor Reinforce Negative Ideas About Women? w/ Dating Coach Bela Gandhi

Fri, 13 Mar 2020 18:39:45 -0500

This week we're joined by our good friend Bela Gandhi, dating coach extraordinaire, to talk about The Bachelor and some of the negative ideas about gender it might be perpetuating.

Does The Female Form Make You Uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?

Thu, 05 Mar 2020 16:12:22 -0500

This week's On Purpose is a natural, zesty enterprise where we touch on the Super Tuesday aftermath, Coronavirus, author Rebecca Makkai taking to Twitter to console people's deepest worries, this year's Zen Parenting Conference, and things that anchor us in crazy times.

Threads On The Campaign Trail

Wed, 26 Feb 2020 14:22:26 -0500

Hillary Clinton retweeted Heidi! I REPEAT...Hillary Clinton retweeted Heidi! So this week, we're throwing a virtual ticker-tape parade via Skype that you won't be able to see at all since, ya know, podcasts are inherently an audio medium and all that. We'll also get around to discussing the ins and outs and what-have-yous of women's fashion on the campaign trail, the most recent Democratic debate, the verdict in the Harvey Weinstein trial, and more!

On Loosening Gender Norms

Fri, 21 Feb 2020 08:57:27 -0500

Breaking news! A new study shows that same-sex marriages tend to be happier than traditional ones. So this week, we're breaking that down and diving into what you can learn and considering what we all can learn about relationships by loosening gender norms and stereotypes.

So How Bout That Half-Time Show?

Thu, 06 Feb 2020 17:23:26 -0500

J-Lo & Shakira sang a few songs on TV this week, and it was so controversial that they had to put half a football game before and after it. But was it really that big of a deal?

On Keeping Your Marriage & Other Relationships Fresh & Vibrant

Thu, 23 Jan 2020 13:36:20 -0500

This week, we're talking about how creating in-jokes is an absolute must for keeping your relationships fresh, fun, and alive. A good in-joke also has the power to craft resilience in a relationship over time, and just make the harder stuff a little less hard. Also, an in-depth review of Gwyneth Paltrow's new $70 vagina candle.

Could A Woman Really Be Elected President?

Thu, 16 Jan 2020 17:48:03 -0500

In this week's episode, Heidi shares some surprising insights from her chat with Peggy Orensetein, author of the new book, "Boys & Sex." Also, in the fallout of the most recent presidential debate during which Bernie Sanders questioned whether or not a woman could actually get elected president, we ponder that very thought.

Porn Porn Porn Porn Porn

Thu, 09 Jan 2020 13:03:36 -0500

We're back! In the first episode of 2020, we're talking about how consent and improving communications often pays massive dividends in the relationships of young people, as well as some startling insights from Peggy Orenstein's new book, "Boys & Sex." We don't talk about porn. Or horses.

People Are Just People Are Just People...

Thu, 19 Dec 2019 11:09:11 -0500

In light of a certain piece of headline news and divisiveness surrounding it, it can be easy to plant yourself firmly in one camp or another without considering the humanity of those on the other side. So that's what we're talking about today. It's important to remember that we're all just humans.

The Holidays Are Weird And That's Totally Normal

Thu, 05 Dec 2019 14:23:57 -0500

This week we're talking about Heidi's weird Thanksgiving that ended up at a Boston Market of all places, which gets us reeling on the idea that there is basically no such thing as "normal," except for the weird kind. Enjoy!

Let's Talk About "Work" For A Minute...

Thu, 21 Nov 2019 12:27:48 -0500

This week we're diving a little bit into the relationship between work, self-worth, and purpose. Just how much are all these things interconnected, and how possible is it to separate them? And what's this work-life balance thing all these dang millennials keep hollering about???

Stop Picking These Fights With Your Teenager

Sat, 09 Nov 2019 18:37:39 -0500

In this week's episode of On Purpose, we talk about an article that caught Heidi's attention recently about the three battles you should stop picking with your teenager, and consider the pros and cons of these common areas of contention.

Take 5 Minutes

Thu, 31 Oct 2019 15:02:00 -0500

Before you listen to this...take five minutes to yourself. No phone. No email. Maybe just a cup of coffee. Then...make sure you listen to this, because we're talking about all kinds of stuff, like the Chicago teacher's strike, why men don't bring their kids to therapy, and how integrating masculine energy into a healthy family dynamic results in a win for everyone.

Grown Ups Don't Get It

Mon, 21 Oct 2019 14:23:33 -0500

It's true! Our playbook is outdated, and we just don't get it! Nevertheless, this week we're talking about a bunch of things - what John and Heidi have been up to recently, why you don't have to be flawless to be gutsy, some interesting insights into the transgender bathroom debates, whether bullying is still prevalent amongst teenagers, and more!

Leading From A Place Of Empathy

Thu, 03 Oct 2019 17:06:17 -0500

In this week's episode, Heidi and John discuss the tragic story of Channing Smith, who died by suicide after his intimate conversations with another boy was made public. It's extremely important for parents to understand that the teenage mind does not have enough life experience yet to understand resiliency, that life goes on, and that they will indeed recover from instances like this. So what can we parents do to prevent something like this from happening to our own loved ones? We can start by leading from a place of empathy.

Certain Topics You Can't Ignore With Your Kids Anymore...

Thu, 19 Sep 2019 07:40:23 -0500

On a great note, John's new book, "Parenting The New Teen In The Age Of Anxiety," is finally out! On the other hand, Heidi's column this week was about the shocking new study claiming that the first sexual experience of 3 million women in America was rape. So...this episode meets those two notes somewhere in the middle and gets to the heart of how we can work to address issues like these, and it starts with taking the initiative to talk to your kids much much sooner about topics we'd probably rather not. This episode is a little heavier than our usual conversations, but it's for good reason. We promise to return to our regularly scheduled upbeat demeanor after this one!

How Much Monitoring Is Too Much?

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 05:00:00 -0500

Are parenting apps that monitor our kids' every move robbing them of something very valuable? In this week's episode, we're talking about the pros and cons of being constantly aware of their grades, social media usage, and even if they're speeding or not — and how all of this information is affecting their ability to be in touch with their own feelings and emotionally regulate themselves.

Protecting Our Kids, Tending To Our Relationships, & Coveting A Neighbor's Style?

Thu, 29 Aug 2019 10:05:05 -0500

On today's episode, we travel a wide range of the emotional spectrum – from Heidi's column about how the suicide of a Naperville teen led to the creation of a new law, to kids these days and their desire to understand what's going on in the world, to evil Juul ads, to travel and how it can affect our relationships. You'll experience some sadness, some anger, some optimism, and some humor. A Balancing Act, if you will. You won't experience John promoting his new book. Which will be out in a few weeks.

Celebrating Ourselves In The Age Of Social Media

Thu, 22 Aug 2019 13:38:52 -0500

John has never made a big deal about his birthday, even as a kid. Can you believe that? But Heidi's son just turned 10, and it kind of is a big deal. So which is it? Should birthdays be a big deal, or not? We're hashing out the complexities in a bitter fight to the death. Or maybe it's just a friendly, insightful discussion as usual. You'll never know unless you tune in. Also, John's got a book coming out, too, in case you haven't seen his many many social media posts about it, which he's not anxious about at all.

On Post-Vacation Blues & Creating Gentler Relationships

Fri, 16 Aug 2019 03:00:00 -0500

We’re both back from vacation, and Heidi’s dealing with a little bit of a post-vaca existential crisis! Nevertheless, we’re talking about how returning from vacations and settling back into our ordinary lives have changed over the last few years in our increasingly harsh, polarized culture. All this leads us in the direction of how harsh our interactions the people close to us can be sometimes, and how we can all benefit from being a little gentler in our interactions.

Aziz Ansari & A New Dialogue

Thu, 18 Jul 2019 21:38:57 -0500

This week we're talking about Aziz Ansari's new Netflix special and what we can learn from the way he addressed his own sexual misconduct allegations from last year.

The Value Of Sports

Thu, 11 Jul 2019 10:34:52 -0500

The huge win of the USA Women's Soccer team has us reeling this week about the value of sports in our kids' lives these days. We get into why you have to take chances and put it all on the line sometimes, learning how to define wins for yourself even if you aren't a natural-born athlete, and even why some kids are choosing to opt out of sports lately - and why they shouldn't!

Can Hate Speech Ever Be A Youthful Indiscretion?

Thu, 20 Jun 2019 07:11:34 -0500

This week, we're talking about the Parkland shooting survivor who recently had his Harvard offer rescinded after it was discovered that he had made some racist comments, whether such an offense is ever redeemable, and how this ties into race.

The Roles We Play In Our Relationships

Thu, 13 Jun 2019 12:48:40 -0500

We took a week off, but now we're back! John's officially an empty nester, and the proud new owner of a drill. Heidi's stepson graduated from high school. Lots of stuff going on! Anyway, all of this somehow led to a conversation about the roles we tend to play in our relationships, as well as the unique stresses today's kids deal with in their daily lives that were absent from previous generations.

You Can Try Something Different

Thu, 30 May 2019 13:32:02 -0500

This week John & Heidi are talking about takeaways from the new Gillette ad, why group therapy is awesome, and how parents can approach transitioning into an empty nest.

Mayor Pete's Bullying Advice & What It Means

Thu, 23 May 2019 13:49:42 -0500

We didn't see the Game of Thrones finale, but we did see Mayor Pete's brilliant bullying advice to a teenage girl at a recent rally, which sparked a conversation about how the ways in which we frame our adversity can shape us into either a better version of ourselves or a worse one.

Alyssa Milano's Sex Strike, Marriage-ology, & More!

Thu, 16 May 2019 20:08:25 -0500

This week we're breaking down Alyssa Milano's controversial sex strike and some of its implications. Also, a book Heidi recently reviewed prompted us to discuss just how all-consuming should parenting be. Plus, Heidi won an award!

What Our Cars Really Mean To Us

Thu, 09 May 2019 20:48:23 -0500

In this episode, we touch briefly on the recent school shooting in Colorado before shifting into the much more pleasant topic of the sentimental value of our cars and the meaningful roles they wind up playing in our lives.

On The Overt and Subversive Nature Of Gender Roles

Thu, 25 Apr 2019 15:32:59 -0500

In this episode of On Purpose, Heidi recounts her experience attending a stop on Abby Wambach's recent book tour at a church in Naperville that took some surprising turns, and led to an interesting conversation.

Is There Still Room For Single-Gender Spaces in 2019?

Wed, 10 Apr 2019 16:16:08 -0500

An annual Daddy/Daughter dance, in addition to a Mom/Son sports night at Heidi's kids' school has sparked an interesting debate that has a surprisingly complex answer.

Male Friendships Revisited, Joe Biden, Leggings, & More!

Thu, 04 Apr 2019 09:49:03 -0500

In this episode, we touch on our recent conversation about the decline of male friendships, the Joe Biden controversy, leggings, and more!

What would the Monica Lewinsky scandal look like today?

Thu, 21 Mar 2019 09:11:46 -0500

Monica Lewinsky's recent appearance on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver has us talking about what her infamous scandal might look like in today's world of constant news coverage, social media updates, etc.

The Decline Of Male Friendships Later In Life & What We Can Do About It

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 11:37:05 -0500

In this episode, John tells us all about the incredible experience he had at the Zen Parenting Conference last weekend, which featured Glennon Doyle, Abby Wambach, and more. The conversation takes us in the intriguing direction of the nature of male friendships, how their connections tend to weaken over time, and insights into how it can possibly be avoided.

Leaving Neverland & Beyond

Fri, 08 Mar 2019 09:16:08 -0500

In this episode, Heidi and John are discussing the fallout of the recently released HBO documentary "Leaving Neverland."

The Complexities Of Posting About Your Kids On Social Media

Wed, 27 Feb 2019 17:04:38 -0500

A recent article about kids Googling themselves only to discover that their parents have posted a great deal of information about their lives online has prompted Heidi and John to have a bigger discussion about the complexities of parents posting about their children on social media. Just how much information is okay to share? Should our kids have the ultimate say in what's posted online about them? We're unpacking it all in this episode!

Teenagers Are The Bomb

Thu, 21 Feb 2019 07:43:47 -0500

In this episode, Heidi and John are talking how about teenagers today are more thoughtful, insightful and intelligent than ever before.

Parkland: One Year Later

Wed, 13 Feb 2019 12:23:37 -0500

Today we are talking about the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, in the wake of the one-year anniversary. We are touching on the strength and resilience of the survivors, as well as that of the community surrounding them. In the midst of this difficult topic, we are also talking prevention, and hope for the future.

Welcome To On Purpose!

Thu, 07 Feb 2019 10:52:49 -0500

Welcome to the first ever episode of the On Purpose podcast. Today, in the Valentine's Day spirit (or disdain, depending on your point of view), we are talking about marriage and relationships: what we have experienced in our own relationships, and seen in others. Hope you enjoy, and we will be back next week!