Ryan, a self-styled ‘Relationship Theorist’, offers articles and private sessions designed to guide singles, couples, and throuples toward lasting happiness in their connections. He reanimates established psychological and philosophical models to assist those navigating every stage of the relationship lifecycle—dating, relating, breakups, makeups, and beyond.

Ryan is based in London and is getting ready to publish an extended collection of his articles. His Kickstarter to fund the professional editing of his groundbreaking book—which collates and expands on his articles about relationship etiquette and dating competence—is launching in June 2026, in sync with his own gritty, witty memoir detailing with brutal honesty the trials, triumphs, and tragedies of his adventures starting in March 2023.

Ryan's background, philosophy, online tools, articles and availability are available on his website and you can support his Kickstarter here.

Check out the full show notes here.

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This interview with Glory is one of the most powerful conversations we’ve had on the podcast. Glory spent her twenties trying to navigate life, love, sex, and relationships with undiagnosed bipolar disorder and as a result she was the victim of some horrific and traumatic experiences. Her resiliency, compassion, and way of loving unconditionally shine throughout the interview and are an inspiration.

Please be aware that our conversation today may be triggering for some. Glory talks about her experiences with bipolar, PTSD, being raped, being sexually assaulted, and losing a close friend to suicide. She shares with us that telling her story publicly was part of her healing journey and we’re honored and grateful to be part of it.

We also feel that sharing these stories is healing, empowering, and de-stigmatizing for anyone who hears them. We hope this conversation moves you as much as it did us.

Check out the full show notes here.

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As seen on NETFLIX' "Chelsea Does..." alongside Chelsea Handler, Reid Mihalko (he/him) of ReidAboutSex.com is an internationally known sex and relationship geek who helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence, and greater health and accountability in their relationships and sex lives using an inspiring mixture of humor, personal stories, keen insight, and comprehensive sexual health information. 

In early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a restorative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid’s apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability. Going forward, Reid’s projects and appearances will include pointing people towards resources and experts on restorative and transformative justice-based accountability processes.

Reid’s workshops and college lectures have been attended by over 60,000 people from all over the globe. He has appeared in media such as Oprah's Our America With Lisa Ling on OWN, NETFLIX, Montel, Dr. Phil's The Doctors on CBS, Bravo's Miss Advised, Fox News, in Newsweek, Seventeen, GQ, The Washington Post, and in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Reid is also founder of Sex Geek Summer Camp, Sex Geek Conservatory, and Sex Geek School for Gifted Sex Geeks, which help sex educators learn valuable business skills that allow them to reach more people with greater ease, transform more lives, and make a better living as sexperts.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Courtney's marriage had become really challenging and about four years ago she proposed the idea of opening up so she could get her needs met. It didn’t go well. At one point, she even told her husband that she wasn’t in love with him anymore because she had so much anger and resentment. 

And now, just a few years later, they’ve opened their relationship, Courtney has a new-ish long-distance partner, and as you’ll hear… She and her husband are more in love than they’ve ever been. Heck, they even started a YouTube channel together!

Of course, it wasn't quite that easy! The journey Courtney, and her husband, have been on together and individually has been incredibly difficult, healing, and is so inspiring. Join us today as she shares her beautiful and powerful story with us! 

Courtney Boyer, M.Ed., M.S., is a therapist-turned-relationship coach, writer, and speaker helping people navigate love, sex, and modern relationships with more honesty, freedom, and authenticity. As the in-house Sex Expert for Pjur’s U.K. market and author of Not Tonight, Honey and Opened, Courtney brings both professional expertise and lived experience to conversations about desire, communication, and redefining relationships outside the mainstream. Check out all of Courtney's work on her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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From learning to befriend jealousy to practicing boundaries in order to better care for himself, Andre shares a ton of wisdom in this interview. We also dig into some incredible stories from his adventures over the years… Have you ever been banned from a hospital? Andre has. Stick around for the bonus episode to hear all about it!

Andre has since moved from The Bay Area but his adventures and explorations in non-monogamy and open relating have continued and expanded into his work and career as a Somatic Intimacy Guide and Coach. Through his practice, Coming Closer, Andre supports individuals and couples across a wide range of needs: men facing midlife performance concerns, survivors of trauma seeking safety, long-term partners wanting to revive passion, and those exploring alternatives such as ethical non-monogamy.

Andre is also known for his role on the UK television series Virgin Island, where he appeared as a professional surrogate partner helping participants confront intimacy challenges alongside licensed therapists. The program drew national attention, and Andre’s presence on screen highlighted how intimacy work is not about performance but about safety, consent, and the courage to connect.

We highly recommend you check out Virgin Island and all of Andre’s work!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today, Leah shares about her experiences in dating as a solo poly person and she also talks about how she’s been very intentional in creating a life full of adventure and connection that doesn’t rely on having sexual and romantic partners. She’s definitely open to it and desires it, but she’s formed deep and intimate friendships and community that fill her cup most of the way up. 

Leah is also the creator and curator of the Esther Perel Discussion Group on Facebook which has over 16 thousand people in it… Later in the interivew she shares how she built a community that brings together all sorts of people who are interested in relationships, but in particular how she created a safe space where people who’ve been on all sides of infidelity can come together. It’s mind-blowing and we highly recommend you check it out!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Normally, these bonus episodes are part of our Premium Subscription. If you want more bonus content like this, you can join here for just $4/mo!

Enjoy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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This is a first for us and it’s an absolutely incredible conversation as we get to hear Daniel and Andy talk about their individual experiences of exploring non-monogamy and how they impacted and influenced each other along the way. We also talk about what they’ve learned from one another, new relationship energy, conscious hierarchy, and “The Big Why” behind polyamory and non-monogamy for each of them.

Oh… And we get to hear some truly fantastic stories in the bonus episode! Normally, the bonus episodes are part of our Premium Subscription but we're celebrating our eight-year podcast anniversary this week by sharing our bonus conversation with Andy and Daniel with everyone! 🥳 If you want more bonus content like this, you can join here for just $4/mo!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Since 2025, Pandora and Chesed have been collaborators at SlutStack, a blog and podcast for overthinking sex and relationships (and sharing stories of wholesome degeneracy). They also co-organized the first SlutCon in 2025 with Aella. SlutCon is a multi-day sexuality education conference and celebration of SlutHood.

Pandora (aka Dr. Bimbo) is a Berkeley-based blogger with about a decade of ethical non-monogamy experience. She writes at SlutStack about sex, kink, dating, and polyamory. After completing her PhD in engineering, she left academia to try out life as a full-time slut. Lately, she had been enjoying leaning into kitchen table polyamory, including navigating life in a group house with her boyfriends.

Chesed (aka little otter) is an East Bay-based writer and collaborator at SlutStack. She also has a day job in healthcare, and will be raising her first kid by the time this episode airs. Chesed is best described as "surprisingly agentic for a sex doll." She is married, and she and her husband live with two other ethically non-monogamous couples. She is one of the most poly “not poly” people you’ll meet.

Check out the full show notes here.

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It’s been a big few years for Anna… We talk about some changes in their partnership and living situation, we have a beautiful conversation about their journey of exploring and figuring out gender, we dig into their relationship with kink, and so much more! Anna has also recently experienced some heartbreaking losses which led to a powerful and moving conversation about loss, grief, and healing.

Oh... And if you stick around for the bonus episode as part of the Premium Subscription Anna tells some mind-blowing orgasm stories! Wait, are the orgasms mind-blowing or the stories? Perhaps both... Join us to find out!

Anna Baxter is the owner, director, and supervisor at Love Positive Counseling. They are incredibly passionate about providing a safe space for individuals and families to find their innate potential and achieve their dreams, regardless of gender, orientation, race, religion, neurotype or love-style. You can learn more about Anna and their work over on their website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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After high school, societal pressure crept in and Liz didn’t revisit the idea of non-monogamy until her thirties when she and her husband opened their relationship about a year into their marriage. After exploring kitchen table polyamory together for about a decade, Liz and her husband separated but currently still live together with their kids as well as with her ex-husband’s partner and her kids.

Join us for this powerful interview as Liz takes us on her journey of figuring out what actually works for her and what she wants in life. We have fantastic conversations about hierarchy, the relationship escalator, dating, jealousy, and we get to hear what happens when Liz actually tries to pursue all her crushes all at once!

Liz is also a dating and relationship coach who primarily helps highly sensitive, intuitive women find deep, soul-aligned love — without settling, burning out, or pretending to be someone they’re not. If dating has ever felt overwhelming, disappointing, or like you had to hide your heart just to get by… you’re not alone and Liz is here to help! You can learn more about how to work with Liz on her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Join us today for this powerful interview with Mischa as he takes us through his journey and evolution of exploring love, dating, relationships, and his own sexuality. Mischa shares about his experiences navigating hookup culture in New York during his twenties before diving into polyamory and the play party scene after moving back to San Francisco in his thirties. Mischa also talks about his more recent 2-year celibacy journey and how his faith and devotion to God have helped guide him in getting clearer on how he shares his love and energy with everyone in his life rather than often focusing it on sexual and romantic connections. We also dig into the nuances of communication and consent, the challenges of pushing against the societal and familial expectations of who we’re supposed to be and what we’re supposed to be doing, and we get a bit philosophical about sex during the bonus questions!

Mischa Byruck is a sexual integrity and accountability coach who’s helped support hundreds of men in transforming their own relationships to sex and success. You can learn more about Mischa and all of his work by visiting his website at evolve.men.

Check out the full show notes here.

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We first talked with Mariana just over two years ago on Episode 313 and we're excited to have her back today with an update! When we asked if she wanted to come back on the show she was thrilled and told us “A lot has happened but not a lot has changed.”

Specifically, a lot has happened internally for Mariana even though the structure of her relationships, who her partners are, and how she does polyamory hasn’t really changed since we last talked. Join us today as Mariana shares what’s shifted for her over the last few years as she’s found herself in a much calmer, more peaceful, and less anxious place while continuing to explore what types of relationships work best for her!

Mariana is also a designer who has created some incredible games to help people design their own relationships, sexuality, and community! The three of us actually play her games during the bonus episode for premium subscribers and you can go grab your own copy of all of her games over on her website. Plus, you can get yourself a discount when you use the code EMMA at checkout! 

Check out the full show notes here.

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Nisi and Thor have been married for almost 40 years and have built a beautiful life, family, and partnership together. They “officially” opened their marriage about four years ago after spending nearly a decade strengthening their relationship, healing old wounds and religious trauma, and discovering themselves before slowly starting to explore with others. They’ve overcome a ton together and it hasn’t been an easy path for them to get to where they are today.

Join us for this powerful and inspiring conversation as Nisi and Thor take us behind the scenes and share what it has been like to open their relationship and how rewarding it has been for them both. Oh! And, don’t forget to stick around for the bonus episode where things get a bit spicy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Candace is a queer, polyamorous mom in her mid-forties who’s been exploring non-monogamy consensually for about 15 years and has been together with her husband for about 11 years. While it’s been 15 years since Candace started exploring non-monogamy consensually she vulnerably shares with us that during her twenties she was a habitual cheater and that it took hitting rock bottom at around age 30 for her to entirely reshape how she was doing relationships to be more aligned with her heart and values. 

Of course, redesigning your entire approach to relationships is no small task! She explored swinging on her own for a few years before meeting her now-husband. Then, over the course of about 7 years they slowly expanded their relationship to where it is today… Candace is polyamorous, her husband is monogamish, they have what they call a “poly sphere” with about 50 people in it that spans the US, and they’re a bicoastal family living part of the year together on each coast and living part of the year separately on opposite coasts. We cover a ton in this powerful conversation with Candace and we’re excited to share it with all of you!

Candace Klein is a lawyer, entrepreneur, and transformational leader whose work spans finance, technology, and human development. Over the past fifteen years, Candace has served in senior executive and C-suite roles across venture-backed startups and global payments companies, including Chief Commercial Officer of Lynx, a healthcare payments company, and Senior Vice President of Embedded Finance at FIS, a global payments firm with more than 66,000 employees. 

She is the former co-author of Typhoon Honey: The Only Way Out Is Through, a book on emotional intelligence and transformational growth, and has recently published Polyagony: The Art of Repair in Open Relationships.

Today, Candace lives on Cape Cod, Massachusetts, with her husband Andrew, their son Ivar, and their two dogs, Pan and Cinder.

Check out the full show notes here.

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First, Bart brings us all the way back to his early childhood where he feels like he developed much earlier than his peers. Then he takes us through coming out at age 16, starting to explore non-monogamy in college, and ultimately landing in San Francisco where he continues to explore and discover what actually works for him in relationships. One thing we really love about this conversation is that Bart doesn’t just tell his story, he analyzes and philosophizes about it with us along the way. We also love that we’re never just talking about sexual or romantic partnerships with Bart, we’re talking about relationships of all kinds whether they’re sexual, platonic, friends, partners, or familial.

Bart is an interpersonal psychotherapist based in San Francisco who works with individuals, couples, and polycules navigating non-traditional relationship structures. He developed Relational Capacity Therapy (RCT)—a framework that operationalizes Alfred Adler's Individual Psychology into five measurable capacities—and the Relational Maturity Index (RMI), a free assessment that helps people understand their relational patterns across different life contexts. You can learn more about Bart's therapeutic perspective and take the RMI at his website, InterpersonalPsychology.com.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Cyndee and Mitch currently describe themselves as “swingers with a poly heart” or more generically just “open.” Their main focus in non-monogamy is on forming genuine friendships that don’t fit into any particular box. For them, it’s all about the people… And the travel! Join us for this wonderful conversation as Cyndee and Mitch take us behind the scenes of their relationship and journey to opening up.

Mitch has been a coach and consultant in multiple industries for over 30 years and today he’s working as a relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. Expansive Connection offers mindfulness based coaching for individuals, couples, and more-somes that seek to better understand themselves and their relationships. You can learn more about Mitch’s work and Expansive Connection on their website. 

Check out the full show notes here.

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Besides being a badass in their personal life… Sarah is also a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who centers queer, neurodivergent, kinky, and non‑monogamous folks and also specializes in ketamine assisted therapy. You can learn more about Sarah and all of their incredible work on their website courageousyoutherapy.com.

Check out the full show notes here.

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This episode is full of fascinating research and personal stories, plus tools, tips, and tricks to help us all slow down a little. If you are looking for a permission slip to take a breath... Don't skip this conversation!

If you're ready to take your resistance to the next level... Gary and Jase are co-hosting our upcoming in-person event May 1-3, 2026 called Relationship Recess! You can learn more and grab your tickets here!

Check out the full show notes here.

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During our interview Joel also takes us through his first ethically non-monogamous partnership, he talks about how he’s building his queer and poly community, and he sticks around to answer some juicy bonus questions! This conversation is so vulnerable, brave, and beautiful… We hope you’re as moved and inspired by it as we are.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Crystal comes from a heavy evangelical background and has been on a journey undoing the sexual shame and religious trauma through community, pleasure, non-monogamy, kink and also through her work as a queer, neurospicy sex and relationship therapist providing teletherapy to Maryland adults. She specializes in supporting LGBTQ+, consensually non-monogamous, and kink communities. Her clinical work focuses on sexual self acceptance and expression, religious trauma and purity culture recovery, and opening up or restructuring relationships.​ Learn more about Crystal and her work on her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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One of the things we absolutely love about this conversation with James is how transparent and vulnerable he is about everything he’s learned over the last 17 years, including how he hasn’t always done things in the most ethical way. But, like most of us, he’s always trying to learn and grow along the way.

James is all about community and creating space for people to explore and discover their most authentic selves. He's the co-founder of the Festival Of Alternative Relationships (F.A.R.) and co-runs The Open Circle, Australia's largest community of people exploring ethical non-monogamy (ENM). He has lived experience in almost every form of ENM dynamic and has run workshops in ENM and Lifestyle Kink (D/s) in both London and Sydney. He also studied sex and relationship coaching at The Somatica Institute based in San Francisco. You can learn more about James and his work on his website.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Gary is the Founder of Breakthrough Play, a corporate facilitator, keynote speaker, certified coach, and self-proclaimed Creative Catalyst. Gary has over 14 years of experience in the corporate world holding various leadership positions. Being a multifaceted individual Gary also comes with nearly a decade of experience as a performer in improv theatre. After experiencing burnout in his pursuit for success and happiness, he realized that what was missing was play. Committing to a life of play is what led Gary to discover his passion for facilitating. Gary uses the power of applied improvisation and other playful methods to assist people in unlocking creativity, confidence, and better communication. Gary was recently featured as one of the Top 100 HR influencers of 2021 by the Engagedly HR software platform. When Gary isn't leading workshops or speaking, you can find him learning magic or off on an adventure with his wife Courtney and son Garrett.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Ms. WillowKat also does incredibly powerful work alongside Dossie Easton (co-author of The Ethical Slut) at their 501c3 called Navigating Consent where their stated goal is to move forward from wherever we may be today into a safer, saner, sexier, and more consensual future. Additionally, WillowKat does work through The Alive Programs to address violence at all levels of intensity and ways of manifesting; physical, emotional, mental, verbal, and sexual. Please visit the Navigating Consent and The Alive Programs websites to learn more and to get involved.

Check out the full show notes here.

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This is a fabulous interview and we have so many incredible conversations with Natalie throughout! We have fantastic chats about being out as polyamorous, what relationship anarchy means to Natalie, and how her relationship with her metamour doesn’t fit neatly into one box. Natalie also talks about how they slowly worked towards all living together and the reality and logistics of how they do it. Natalie shops for groceries, her metamour cooks, and her husband does the dishes… But is it always that easy? Join us and find out!

Natalie is also a writer, presenter, and the author of her brand new memoir Saying Yes - My Adventures in Polyamory! You can find all of Natalie’s work and learn more about her on her website, but definitely go grab a copy of her new book so you can hear even more of Natalie’s incredible adventures!

Check out the full show notes here.

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After ending that relationship during the pandemic Rashid moved across the country multiple times, tried out monogamy again, and lived in a van while traveling the country before meeting someone who introduced him to relationship anarchy. They began dating and Rashid dove into a whole new world…

Join us today as Rashid takes us through pretty much his whole relationship and life journey over the last decade in this beautiful interview. We have powerful conversations about loss, grief, jealousy, platonic friendships and life partners, and how we’re all imperfect humans who are trying to do our best and learn along the way. Enjoy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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One of the main themes of Marcia’s story is her focus on friendship as the foundation for all of her connections. Over the years Marcia has explored many different relationship styles and dynamics as she’s deconstructed norms and figured out who she is and what she wants. This conversation is full of powerful wisdom and insight Marcia has learned along the way. We hope you enjoy this interview as much as we did.

Marcia Baczynski is an internationally-recognized coach, writer and presenter on sexual communication, boundaries, consent and desire. Her primary mission is to help adults who want more connection and intimacy to overcome shame and get in touch with what they truly want – romantically, sexually and relationally – even if it’s off the beaten path. You can learn more about Marcia and all of her work by checking out her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Jill is in her mid-forties and has just come through a really big transition in life after recently ending her longterm partnership and marriage. Non-monogamy is fairly new for her as well and while she feels that it’s part of her identity and who she is, her life circumstances don’t really allow her to explore these parts of herself very often. 

This is such a moving conversation as Jill talks about the challenges of exploring herself and finding romantic and sexual connections while living in a rural and conservative small town. She’s had to get really creative in how she gets her needs met and she shares with us how she’s currently focusing on emotionally intimate and deep platonic friendships in the absence of opportunities to explore in other ways. 

Jill also sticks around to share some laughs with us as we answer some bonus questions together! This is a wonderful interview and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Megan has been exploring various flavors and styles of non-monogamy for most of her adult life and one of the things we love about her story is that it hasn't been a linear path. Like many of us, she grew up surrounded by the influences of mononormativity and while she never cheated, she always felt an internal discomfort with how monogamy worked and with all of the rules that came with it.

As Megan shares her story today she digs into many of the things she's learned along the way... We talk about her approach to hierarchy and relationship agreements, the importance of erotic autonomy, transitioning from friends to lovers (and back again), and so much more! Overall, this is a fantastic conversation about the power of living your life and having relationships in ways that differ from what we're taught is the "right way."

You'll pick up on Megan's passion pretty quickly and it's no surprise she's turned helping people navigate non-monogamy into her career! Megan is a relationship coach and teacher of erotic autonomy who loves helping people create and sustain the consensually non-monogamous relationships they desire while retaining a sense of erotic autonomy in order to live more meaningful lives. You can learn more about Megan and her work on her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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When we first talked to Kevin on Episode 45 he’d been married for over a decade and he was in a handful of new-ish relationships. Nearly seven years later, he’s been married over 20 years and describes himself as being in all of the longest relationships he’s ever been in. Join us today for a wonderful conversation with Kevin about how he’s fostered stability and longevity in his polyamorous relationships for himself, his partners, and his whole family.

You may recognize Kevin Patterson as the author of Love's Not Color Blind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities, which came out in 2018, and as the creator of Poly Role Models, which was a weekly Tumblr page that told the poly origin stories of people from around the world. Kevin is also the author of the “For Hire” science fiction series. He published his latest book in the series earlier this year called “For Hire: The Price of Fame.” You can learn more about Kevin and all of his work on his website.

Check out the full show notes here.

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When Elaine first started dating she fell in love with multiple people pretty much right away and felt so much shame about it that it drove her to end the relationship she was in. She tried serial monogamy for a while and then in college she had her first threesome with her best friend and her best friend’s boyfriend… Her mind was blown and a whole new world opened up for her that she didn’t know was possible!

Today, Elaine is a happily married polyamorous woman in her thirties diving into as many of the adventures life has to offer as she can! Her excitement and passion for exploring human connection, sexuality, and relationships is infectious and she describes her polyamorous relationships as the most easeful she’s ever experienced because she can finally just be herself! Of course, it hasn’t necessarily been easy getting to where she is and throughout this powerful conversation she talks about many of the challenges she’s faced along the way.

Threesomes weren’t just Elaine’s gateway into polyamory, they were incredibly healing for her and now she’s on a mission to help others have better threesomes as well!

Today, Elaine works as a Threesome Facilitator, taking couples on threesome journeys that transform fantasy into profound connection. With years of experience navigating triads and polycules, she specializes in creating playful, trust-building spaces where couples can explore together safely. Her approach is all about deepening connection, building compersion, and helping couples have the kind of transformative experiences that changed her own life. You can learn more about Elaine and her work on her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Jacob and Josh are both from Puerto Rico and met about 17 years ago while working together on a film project and began dating… Sort of. As you’ll hear, they’ve spent a lot of their relationship exploring the grey zones of relationships. Their own relationship started out a bit ambiguously and their explorations with others often fell in the blurry area between friends, hookups, and boyfriends.

We absolutely love how Josh and Jacob share their journey together with us in such an honest and vulnerable way. They’re not here to pretend like everything they’ve done is perfect but rather they dig into the messy humanness of figuring out love and relationships as life swirled around them. They've learned so much about themselves along the way and they're still constantly striving to discover new ways to show up better for themselves and one another. This is a really beautiful and powerful story and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Jacob and Josh are also working on a new film project called “Three of Swords” which will begin production in the spring of 2026. You can learn more about Jacob, Josh, and their new film over at threeofswordsfilm.com.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Nicole was raised inside conservative and fundamentalist Christianity and can remember feeling her first inklings of her own queerness in elementary school but knew she had to shut it down and hide it. The fear and shame of becoming broken and invaluable as a woman ruled her life for many years.

Healing and recovering from trauma is a lifelong journey and practice that Nicole has dedicated herself to both personally and professionally. Join us today as Nicole shares her incredibly powerful story of transformation and liberation in breaking free from the grips of religious dogma to reclaim her life, her body, and her right to feel pleasure again. 

The way Nicole currently describes her life on her website is so beautiful and we hope you find her story as inspiring as we did!

“Today, I live a life that once felt unreachable: surrounded by loving, supportive partners in queer, polyamorous connection, educating the world about pleasure and consent, supporting clients in profound transformation, providing psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, and inviting you into the continued exploration.”

Nicole is a sex and relationship therapist, the founder of The Pleasure Practice, and the host of the Modern Anarchy podcast! Her work weaves together somatic psychology, trauma-informed care, liberation-based theory, and her advanced clinical training in psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy and certification in Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy. Check out Nicole’s website for more information about her work!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Matt was first introduced to non-monogamy about 15 years ago when he moved to the San Francisco area and saw how his friends were exploring open relationships and polyamory… He’d sort of naturally been loving everybody in an open-hearted way but had no idea what was possible!

In our lovely conversation today, Matt takes us through his journey of learning about himself by exploring various relationship styles over the years. We also dive into the powerful impact that play parties have had on him and not just as a pathway for learning about consent and finding community, but also in meeting some of the needs that he’d historically met through partnerships.

Matt’s passion for building community, creating incredible play parties, and continuing to grow and learn along the way is infectious and we hope you enjoy this interview as much as we did!

A bit more about Matt straight from his website!

Matt Sturm is a guide for transformational experiences and an author. He works with people to slow down, to come into their bodies, and to connect to their innate inner wisdom. Matt holds a strong, clear container for healing, intimacy, and spiritual awakening within a variety of contexts. These include psychotherapy, psychedelic-assisted therapy, sacred sexuality, breathwork journeys, and men’s retreats. He runs the Living Kosmos integral mystery school based on his deck, the Living Kosmos tarot. He is the author of two books The Organic Masculine, and Primal Drives – both are integral and archetypal workbooks on masculinity.

You can learn more about Matt and all of work over on his website at mattsturm.com.

Check out the full show notes here.

Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026!

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Ashton grew up in a super conservative and religious home, didn't date in high school, and had her first kiss when she was 18... But that was then. Things are a bit different now!

Ashton is now in her forties and has been practicing polyamory and non-monogamy for about 15 years. As she describes it, when she found polyamory it was as if the heavens opened up and the angels sang. While she's no longer a member of the fundamentalist church she grew up in, she has been very involved in the United Church of Christ since college and at one point was even a Deacon.

Ashton's friendships are often ambiguous as she prefers to let connections find their natural level and she currently has what she calls "a squad of lover-friends."

Join us today for this wonderful conversation as Ashton shares with us her journey of exploring her sexual and relationship identities while raising a daughter and being a dedicated member of her local church community.

Ashton also helps lead and organize non-monogamy events and groups in the Fargo area. You can find more information here!

Check out the full show notes here.

Join us at Relationship Recess in May 2026!

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Check out the Relationship Recess webpage and get your ticket here!

Check out the launch video here!

It’s been about two years since we last talked with Rachel on Episode 307 and a LOT has changed… As always, no need to go back and listen to get a ton out of this conversation!

Rachel has been non-monogamous for about 15 years and for about the last two years she’s been exploring solo polyamory. For as long as she can remember she’s always wanted to be a parent and a little over a year ago she made the decision to have a child using a donor without having a co-parent… Or, as she calls it: Rogue Mom.

In our conversation today Rachel talks about the challenges of being a woman in her thirties watching her biological clock tick down as she tries to build a career and life that society deems adequate for raising kids. However, Rachel's life and career don't need to meet society's expectations and standards because what truly matters is that they meet her own.

Rachel takes us through her decision to go rogue and everything she had to go through to make it actually happen. She also shares with us how she’s built an incredible support team around her made up of family, friends, professionals, and her community.

This is such a beautiful conversation full of love and joy as Rachel shares her excitement around becoming a Rogue Mom just a few months from when recorded this. There’s even a surprise or two hidden in here! Enjoy!

A bit more about Rachel taken straight from her website:

Rachel Lark is a writer, composer, and performer known for her incisive and catchy anthems about taboo topics. Lark’s music has been heralded for blending heartfelt lyrics with biting political satire, fearless authenticity, and raunchy wit. She is the creator of Coming Soon: A New Rock Musical which sold out its two week run in San Francisco and earned the highest rating from the San Francisco Chronicle. She was named one of the most powerful LGBTQ voices of San Francisco by SF Magazine and Salon Magazine called her “the poster girl for period sex.”

Lark’s work empowers people to chase connection, pleasure and political action by inviting audiences into a shared cathartic experience of mutual recognition and dissatisfaction with the status quo. Her razor-sharp perspective invites anyone (even those with opposing views) to dream up a better world.

Please check out all of Rachel’s work on her website and support her on Patreon!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Ryan first started experiencing a cognitive dissonance with regards to relationships pretty much from the beginning of dating in high school. In many ways, relationships just didn’t make sense to him in his twenties so he basically took a break and focused on things he did enjoy rather than trying to force his way into the dating game.

At about age 30 Ryan discovered some books and podcasts that introduced him to the idea of non-monogamy and polyamory and the rest is history… He dove right in. Over the last 14 years Ryan has been practicing non-monogamy in various configurations including a quad, a triad, and also being with his partner monogamously as life required at times.

Ryan also shares his experience in navigating relationships as someone who realized a few years ago in his late thirties that he’s autistic. As he describes it “It would be easier for me to solve a Rubik’s cube with my feet while blindfolded than to read non-verbal and social cues.” Even though he doesn’t have a medical diagnosis, his realization is helping him find tools that have made a huge difference in his life.

This is a wonderful conversation and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Check out the full show notes here.

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"It's funny... I was monogamous for nine years with a man and now I'm a lesbian and I'm polyamorous... So, life can really take you by surprise."

There really isn't a better synopsis than that of what our conversation today with Eileen is about. Her story is incredibly powerful and shares echos of previous interviews we've had with women who thought for so long that they were super straight only to realize that wasn't exactly the case. Eileen digs into her journey of coming out and embracing polyamory in a a confusing world where neither of those "options" are really even options for most young women.

A bit more about Eileen from her website:

I'm Eileen Hanley, an actor, singer, filmmaker and Aries originally from Portland, Maine and based in New York City. My work uses both comedy and drama to explore the dichotomy of good and evil, focusing on complex, morally grey queer women.

I am passionate about telling stories of complicated, deeply flawed people struggling to do the right thing. I like to see people get messy, on screen, onstage, in song, and that is the type of work I like to make.

Learn more about Eileen and all of her work including her short film "What Are We?" on her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Nyxie did the serial monogamy approach to relationships from the time they started dating until they were in their early twenties. That's when Nyxie realized they didn't necessarily need to be in a relationship to get many of their needs met and so they began exploring solo polyamory. However, it was the early 2000's and the language didn't quite exist yet so Nyxie affectionately refers to this as their "Slut Era."

Nyxie's Slut Era lasted until they met their spouse (who was also non-monogamous) about 19 years ago. Early in their relationship they decided together that they wanted to be monogamous for a while. And so they did. Right around the beginning of 2020 they decided their kids were old enough and it was time to open up again...

Today, Nyxie and their spouse are both exploring non-monogamy in their own unique ways. Nyxie is currently in a triad, has a submissive, and a "whole galaxy" of play partners. In this wonderful interview Nyxie dives into all the nuances of their relationships, exploring kink, raising a family, and navigating non-monogamy with a spouse who has a completely different approach.

Nyxie isn't just passionate about sex, kink, and relationships in their personal life... It's also their life's work!

From Nyxie's website:

Nyxie Noc is a seasoned and compassionate Domme with decades of experience as a sex worker, fetish content producer, and educator in kink, consent, and advocacy. It has supported conduct and consent teams for various kink and sex-positive organizations and has provided safer-play orientations to over 850 participants, along with personnel orientations to more than 100 staff members within these communities.

Nyxie’s work is driven by a passion for the freedom of expression found within kink, and it values the transformative power of every scene and interaction. It is dedicated to creating safer, more inclusive play spaces and fostering supportive communities.

Please check out all of Nyxie's work over on their website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Rowan and Aeryn's relationship began a bit ambiguously about a decade ago and now they've been married for just over four years. They started out as best friends and Aeryn was sort of doing non-monogamy without the labels or framework. By his own admission it wasn't exactly the most ethical approach. As he puts it... "I was not good at monogamy."

In this beautiful conversation Rowan and Aeryn take us through the ups, downs, and realities of figuring out love, relationships, parenting, their individual sexualities and genders, and life. It hasn't been easy but about two years ago everything started clicking and they found their stride a bit. They're currently in a triad, Aeryn has a few other partners, and Rowan is dating here and there.

This interview is bursting with love! The way these two love and support one another through thick and thin is such an inspiration and we hope you enjoy this chat as much as we did!

Oh! And don't forget to check out Aeryn's karaoke chops!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Sarah is back! We last had the pleasure of talking with Sarah back in the beginning of 2022 on Episode 217 and a lot has changed since then... Spoiler alert: Sarah is now a mother! Today, Sarah catches us up on her adventures from the last few years and we dive into her journey into motherhood, how she and her partner navigate dating as new-ish parents, and what her shift towards polyamory has looked like.

Sarah is also a writer and coach who's dedicated to helping people have more secure, intimate, and exciting relationships! You can learn more about Sarah and her work on her website: www.monogamish.me

Check out the full show notes here.

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Kristen's journey is one of perseverance, resilience, curiosity, and self-discovery. She refers to her thirties as her "waking up period" and her forties as her "sexual self-actualization." Now in her fifties, she feels like everything is integrating together... She currently identifies as a relationship anarchist who's excited about, and open to, the infinite possibilities and uncertainty of life. Kristen's story is incredibly powerful and inspiring and we hope you get as much from it as we did!

Kristen is also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) who works in California. You can find more information about her work as a therapist on her website here and you can learn more about The Non-Monogamy Card Game here!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Carrie and Drew have been married about 10 years and are high school sweethearts who grew up in pretty religious families with purity culture heavily influencing them both, and their partnership. A few years ago Carrie found a queer content creator and therapist on Instagram who opened her mind to the possibility of choice for herself for the first time in her life.

Around this time, Carrie and Drew did a yes/no/maybe quiz about sex and discovered that they shared an interest in exploring with other people. So, they started talking about it... a lot... and eventually decided to make a profile on a dating app to see if they could make the fantasy a reality. And, they did!

Carrie vulnerably takes us through growing up with the pressure and confusion of religion and purity culture and the impact these had on her sexuality and on their relationship. She also shares about the experiences she and Drew had with another couple before ultimately deciding that the amount of energy it took for her to remain regulated while swinging was too much.

Carrie and Drew still consider themselves religious and while swinging isn't the best fit for them at the moment, they're still seeking new ways to explore the endless possibilities of sex, pleasure, and intimacy together.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Ayala first read The Ethical Slut in high school and actually started dating non-monogamously from the beginning of her relationship explorations. It wasn't until about a decade later that she intentionally set out to see what monogamy was all about.

Today, Ayala identifies as ambiamorous... Content and happy with either monogamy or non-monogamy, depending on the relationship. This interview with Ayala is full of so much wisdom and insight and is just a really lovely conversation about her relationship journey.

One of the things we love is when we have the opportunity to talk to therapists about their own relationships and we got to do just that with Ayala! Ayala is a sex and relationship therapist who describes herself on her website much better than we ever could!

I’m Ayala Kalisher, a therapist who specializes in helping people access more safety, connection and pleasure in their lives. My approach blends traditional and cutting-edge modalities to help clients navigate stuck patterns, relationships, and personal growth with more ease and authenticity.

I believe therapy should be a place where you get to feel seen, supported, and empowered. Whether you’re seeking relief from painful past experiences, struggling in your relationships, or looking for a therapist who isn’t afraid to talk about sex, I welcome you as you are.

Oh! Ayala also co-created The Non-Monogamy Card Game, as well! Please head over to Ayala's website to learn more about her work and don't forget to grab a copy of her card game! Enjoy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Courtney and Derek were both on the show separately over the past two weeks and today we're delighted to bring them on together to tell their very own love story! Both of their individual stories are incredible and we definitely recommend listening to them but you will NOT be lost today if you haven't already listened.

Courtney and Derek's story stands on its own and it's a love story for the ages! Trigger warning... This is a sappy and mushy love story told in great detail and we're so here for it! It's also full of laughter and hilarious anecdotes!

Courtney and Derek met online a few years ago and since then have fallen pretty madly in love. Today's interview is unique in that we get to hear what was going on for each of them as they began forming their partnership while the imperfect human-ness of life swirled around them.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Courtney just turned 50 and has been exploring polyamory and non-monogamy for the last three years or so... However, her story begins long before she and her husband of 16 years opened their relationship in 2022. Today, Courtney takes us all the way back to the first time she had simultaneous crushes at age four... Rocky and Superman!

Today's interview with Courtney is full of laughter, joy, heartbreak, whirlwind relationships, self-discovery, and beautifully vulnerable and powerful stories of life and love. Join us! You won't regret it.

And! If Courtney's story resonated for you and you're looking at real estate in the Asheville area, please reach out to her through her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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If you were thinking of skipping this one, consider rethinking that...

Derek first learned about polyamory from one of the original writings on the subject in Green Egg Magazine back in 1990 (see link in show notes below)... He was in his early twenties and showed it to his college girlfriend and they sort of jumped right in! They explored non-monogamy together for a few years before parting ways and Derek found himself "scared back into monogamy" for many years.

Fast-forward just a couple years and Derek gets married in 2015... When he met his wife, Kay, a few years prior he brought up the idea of non-monogamy but she wasn't interested. However, she brought the idea back to him in 2016 and they decided to open their relationship for about a year before starting a family.

When their son was about three they decided to open up again and during the time they had closed their partnership Kay had come out to him as queer. Then, around 2021 Kay came out to Derek as a lesbian.

Today, Derek and Kay are nesting co-parents and are rebuilding their friendship. Derek also has a girlfriend of about 18 months who lives nearby and describes himself as ambiamorous... Comfortable with both monogamy and non-monogamy.

Join us today as Derek shares his incredibly powerful and beautiful story.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Marla has been exploring and practicing non-monogamy for about 20 years after learning about it during their first year of college. After getting out of their last monogamous relationship early in their college experience, Marla fell in love with their best friend and never really looked back. Like many of us, they were kind of making it up as they went and figuring it out along the way.

Today we have a fantastic conversation with Marla about their journey, their struggles and triumphs, as well as the wisdom they've earned along the way. We dig into the reality of being an imperfect human, the importance of relationship repair, queer-platonic partnerships, and everyone's favorite topic... Hierarchy!

More about Marla from their website: www.polyamarla.com

Marla (they/them pronouns) is a relationship therapist and educator specializing in non-monogamy and *2SLGBTQIA+ identities. They have been practicing polyamory since 2005, and facilitating programs on the subject since 2009. (*2Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, and beyond)

Like you, they are a fabulous and sometimes messy human being. As a member of so many of the communities they support, Marla takes accountability when they’ve made mistakes, and doesn’t shy away from challenging conversations.

Their goal is to provide support and education for people who want to understand or practice non-monogamy. They advocate for the health of non-monogamous communities by offering services to people within, and adjacent to those communities.

Please check out all of Marla's work on their website and don't forget to grab a copy of their brand new book Nonmonogamy and Defying a Paradigm!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Sarah is an elder Gen Z in her mid to late twenties who feels like she's always been polyamorous but didn't have the words for it. Like many, her initial dating experiences followed the model of serial monogamy, but for her it always felt terrible to "have to" end a decent relationship just because she met someone else she had feelings for. Not anymore!

A few years ago she met her primary partner and they've been in an open relationship since the beginning. In this fantastic interview Sarah shares how she and her partner navigated the early days of being non-monogamous when neither of them had any experience or models of how to do it. We also have great conversations about how they handle hierarchy, how she navigates dating monogamous people since she lives in a place with few polyamorous folks, and how she keeps herself safe as she explores in ways that feel very natural for her.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Cooper and his wife are in their forties with three kids and have been married for over 17 years. While they only "officially" opened their relationship about three years ago it wasn't a completely foreign concept to them when they got together and they always had a mindset and understanding that there was more out there.

Cooper's wife initially brought up the idea of opening their relationship when her libido started to wane during perimenopause but they quickly realized this was about way more than that... It was a doorway to a whole new set of possibilities and opportunities for them both!

In this wonderful conversation Cooper shares with us how he and his wife navigate non-monogamy with slightly different styles and desires and how they handle hierarchy in their connections with others. He also digs into their experiences with supporting each other through breakups and how they manage all of this while raising a family, working. and living full lives. We love how Cooper and his wife approach their relationship and life with such an open and curious mindset - we hope you enjoy this interview as much as we do!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Dossie realized in her early twenties that sexuality was her path and that sexuality and feminism would be hand-in-hand in creating the changes she wanted to see in the world, and in herself. In 1969, when she was about 25, Dossie declared she'd never be monogamous again... And she never looked back!

Dossie's story is full of love, laughter, joy, heartbreak, healing, determination, grit, and inspiration. In this incredibly moving and powerful conversation Dossie takes us through more than 60 years of trailblazing a path for herself that so many have since followed while discovering their authentic selves. We're honored to be able to share this beautiful interview with you today and hope it inspires you as much as it did us.

You may recognize Dossie Easton as the co-author of The Ethical Slut and other books but of course she is so much more than just that...

From her own website:

"I am proud to serve my communities as psychotherapist, relationship counselor, educator, and author. Since 1969, I have lived and worked in sexual minority cultures. I am dedicated to feminist, polyamorous, BDSM, spiritual, gender-diverse, and LGBTQ individuals and communities. I explore, with my clients and in my own life, new paradigms of gender, sexuality, and relationships. I am committed to offering authentic, respectful, competent, and compassionate psychotherapy and relationship counseling to people exploring non-traditional lifestyles."

Check out the full show notes here.

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Danielle and her husband have been married for over thirty years and have been exploring non-monogamy together for more than twenty of them. Danielle's husband initially brought up the idea but the concept felt intuitive for both of them so they started tiptoeing into it together. And of course, just because it felt intuitive doesn't mean that there weren't challenges and surprises along the way. 

This interview with Danielle is really beautiful and vulnerable as she takes us all the way back to her childhood and then through thirty plus years of marriage, raising a family, building a business, and living the hell out of life. We have powerful conversations about confronting jealousy and how it can really sneak up and surprise you, coming out to their children, how she and her husband have different preferences and desires when it comes to connecting with others, and so much more! We hope you enjoy this lovely conversation as much as we did!

Danielle began immersing herself in learning about sexuality, relationships, and pleasure from a relatively young age and never really stopped...

Dr. Danielle Harel is a pioneering force in erotic embodiment and personal transformation. As co-creator of the Somatica® Method and co-founder of the Somatica Institute, she weaves deep academic expertise with heartfelt presence, empowering people to awaken their desires and embrace their fullest, most authentic selves.

With a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, and a Master’s in Clinical Social Work, Danielle brings both scholarly depth and intuitive wisdom to her work. She has co-authored three transformative books and served as lead sexologist and consulting producer on Virgin Island, a bold Channel 4 series exploring real, vulnerable, and healing erotic connection.

Danielle’s approach is rooted in celebration and curiosity, inviting each person to reclaim pleasure as an essential part of human wholeness. You can learn more about Danielle and her work at somaticainstitute.com.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Jacob and his spouse have been in some form of an open relationship since they got together over 18 years ago. In fact, their relationship actually began as a triad. Today, Jacob takes us along his relationship journey as he and his partner traveled the country living all over and exploring connections and partnerships in their own unique ways.

Jacob is an infant care specialist and an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) who helps families of all kinds with their lactation needs. He specializes in helping non-gestational parents who want to induce lactation as well as queer, trans, and non-binary parents who have given birth and need support with lactation. Jacob also recently released his first book "Lactation for the Rest of Us - A Guide for Queer and Trans Parents and Helpers." Please check out all of Jacob's work and grab a copy of his book over on his website.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Kels first began experimenting with non-monogamy in her mid-twenties when she and her partner agreed that they could both experiment and play with others while traveling. Since then, Kels has explored a variety of different relationship styles and dynamics as she continues to figure out what's best for her. One of the things we absolutely love about Kels' story is how she approaches life and relationships with kindness, curiosity, and a sense of adventure to what's possible when you open yourself up to the potential of connection with others.

Kels is also the co-founder of Squirm!

A bit more about Kels straight from Squirm's website:

Kels is a producer, businesswoman, and sex and relationship enthusiast. She never underestimates the power of a good story or a good spreadsheet.

In tandem with a career in project management and marketing, she has been writing, directing, producing and performing for film and theater since 2013.

Kels believes the core of a good business, production, or sexual experience is the same: being attuned to other people and aware of their sweet spots. She’s committed to restoring education to its natural state — enticing.

Check out getsquirmy.com for more information about their game, events, and the Porn Nerds podcast!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Johnny started exploring non-monogamy about a decade ago when he and his partner first got together. Their partnership was non-monogamous from the beginning and they moved slowly and intentionally as they figured out what works best for them. They currently define their partnership as "open" and for them that means that everything is on the table for discussion. Join us for this beautiful conversation as Johnny takes us on his journey over the last 10 years!

Johnny is also a Somatic & Mindfulness Coach. He loves supporting people in moving from feeling overwhelmed, stuck and unfulfilled to feeling peace, confidence, and courage, knowing who you really are and what you can offer the world. Johnny offers 1:1 coaching as well as various group programs and calls. Check out his website to learn more about his work!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Jenna and Wendi are back! It's been three and a half years since we last talked to these two lovely humans and we're definitely not waiting that long until the next time! You don't need to go back and listen to Episode 209 to enjoy this conversation but we're pretty sure today's episode will leave you wanting more!

Lots has changed but one thing definitely hasn't... These two are so full of love, life, laughter, and joy! We have a fantastic conversation about how they each 'star in their own movie' while also maintaining their connection. We also dig into changes around how Jenna has been dating and perhaps Wendi may have had an experience or two herself!

One of the things we love so much about talking to Jenna and Wendi is how casually they normalize non-monogamy by weaving it into their lives. It's not flawless, nor is it always easy, but they show up for one another and for themselves with compassion in such a beautiful way. Enjoy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Lola has been exploring non-monogamy since about 2009 and like many of us, their motivation has shifted and evolved along the way. In this powerful interview Lola takes us through their beautiful journey of self-discovery, healing, and untangling the web of misconceptions we're taught about sex, love, and relationships.

Lola Phoenix is an American-born writer living in Sweden, working within digital marketing while trying to find an agent to represent their fiction work. Lola is the author of The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy and The Non-Monogamy Journal as well as a weekly advice column and podcast called Non-Monogamy Help. Please check out nonmonogamyhelp.com for all of Lola's work!

Lola is also an amateur Strongman athlete and has a special interest in fitness and nutrition. When not writing books, Lola is either at the gym, talking walks in nature, learning about sciencey stuff or baking new treats.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Megan and Brett are back! We last talked to these two just over a year ago on Episode 337 and it's been a busy year! Lots has changed... They still swing together and go to clubs together but they've also started exploring more solo dating, dabbling a bit more in kink, and they even talked about their open relationship style and choices on the pulpit in their congregation! Join us today as Megan and Brett catch us up on their adventure together in this lovely conversation!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Princess is back! She was first on the show with her partner DD back on episode 322 and today she's here to go a bit deeper on her own individual journey. Princess is a 30-something mother of a college-aged kid and has been practicing some form of non-monogamy for almost 15 years.

Like most of us, she started exploring swinging after responding to an ad on Craigslist to be a nude receptionist at a clothing-optional swinger's resort... Oh, wait... That's not how you got here?

Anyways! Princess took the job and over the last 15 years has been learning so much about herself, figuring out what relationship styles work for her, and exploring her sexuality. This interview is full of incredible stories, laughter, and powerful insights. Enjoy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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As Celeste describes it, she's had a long and illustrious journey of exploring different relationships and relationship styles as she continues learning who she is and what works best for her. For so long she tried to fit herself into what she calls "primary possessive partnerships" and unfortunately spent much of her time being triggered. Today, Celeste identifies as "solo open" and has filled her life with lovers, partners, and friends that she feels deeply connected to while also feeling safe and securely attached. This conversation is so beautiful and full of vulnerability, laughter, and love as Celeste takes us on her powerful journey. Enjoy!

Celeste Hirschman, MA, is a visionary in intimacy and personal transformation. As co-founder of the Somatica Institute, she merges profound insight with compassion, empowering individuals to unlock deeper connections and embrace their authentic selves. With a Master’s in Human Sexuality Studies and a background in Women’s Studies, Celeste has co-authored three transformative books and contributed groundbreaking research in adolescent sexuality. You can learn more about Celeste and all of her work at somaticainstitute.com.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Genevieve a.k.a. Chill Polyamory makes polyamory education and entertainment on Instagram, TikTok and Patreon. She’s also on YouTube where she reviews polyamory in pop culture @chillpolyamory, and she hosts a non-monogamy storytime podcast called “I could never…”

Check out the full show notes here.

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Jet is a 40 year old mother of two girls who has been married for over 20 years, and up until about two years ago she assumed she was monogamous. A few years ago she started to develop a deep friendship with a co-worker and ultimately realized she had fallen in love with him just as he was moving away. She decided to be honest with her husband about her feelings and as they were doing research about what to do and what this means for their marriage they discovered polyamory and non-monogamy.

Through the same resources they were learning about polyamory, they also realized that her husband was likely on the asexual spectrum. For the last few years Jet and her husband have been trying to reinvent their relationship in a way that works for both of them since he has no interest in being in an open relationship and she is realizing she has been polyamorous her whole life without recognizing it.

This interview with Jet is incredibly vulnerable and powerful as she shares the heartbreak and challenges she and her husband are navigating in their partnership as they continue to be deeply in love and otherwise happy in their marriage.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Holly grew up in a super religious and closed-minded environment and started rebelling in her late teens after moving out on her own. She fell in love, married her girlfriend, and a few years later they quit their jobs and bought one-way plane tickets out of the country to learn and explore other ways of living.

While out exploring the world Holly was introduced to non-monogamy and has since been figuring out how she wants to be in relationship with others. Like many of us, her path is winding and ever-evolving. Holly currently identifies as solo polyamorous and is finding her way back to herself after her last relationship. Join us as Holly shares her beautiful adventure with us!

Holly also does really powerful work and she describes it in her bio on SoulPlay's website better than we ever could:

Born and raised in South Louisiana, Holly embarked on her transformative journey in 2009, leaving her career and letting go of everything she owned to forge a new path. Since then she's traveled extensively, immersing herself in diverse cultures and ways of life, seeking purpose and a way to channel her skills toward creating positive change. During her travels, she took on various odd jobs, including helping to produce a grassroots weekend music festival in New Zealand. That experience ignited a passion for event production, which became the foundation of her new career. Today, she lives in the Bay Area and produces events full-time, crafting spaces that invite personal and collective transformation. Since 2015, she's been honored to serve as a founding contributor and Executive Director for SoulPlay, where she's made community and connection the heart of her purpose and passion.

Save $100 on your SoulPlay tickets here until April 19th!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Dani strongly identifies as polyamorous and feels that she was born this way. However, she's only been actively exploring and practicing polyamory for a couple of years. She's currently in a self-proclaimed "midlife crisis era" and has been reimagining and reinventing herself after coming out of a 16-year monogamous marriage.

Spoiler alert! Figuring out what we want in life can be really hard! Dani's explored lots of different complex relationships and connections over the last few years and today she's in a place where she is longing to be in love again... At the same time, she has a real fear of enmeshment and getting swept away on the relationship escalator. Dani vulnerably takes us inside her emotional and challenging journey of navigating the discomfort of the unknown as she finds herself. 

Dani is a writer, speaker, facilitator, storyteller, coach, business consultant, and the host of the "Another Way" podcast. She believes we all get to create the lives we want and that we don't have to settle or do what anyone else expects of us. And! We don't have to do it alone. To learn more about Dani and all of her work, please check out her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Eka is back! We first talked to her about two and a half years ago on episode 255 when she was just about to have her first child. She's in her mid-thirties and has been exploring non-monogamy in a variety of ways since about 2012.

Since we last spoke, Eka and her partner Em had baby Elle and it's been an adventurous few years! Today Eka shares how having a newborn (and now a toddler) has impacted her life, her relationships, and her sexuality. She's been exploring her sexuality, demisexuality, kink, and multiple connections and partnerships all while figuring out how to be a new mom! There's never a dull moment and we absolutely love when we get to talk to Eka and hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Cathy and Steve are both in their fifties and have been exploring various forms of non-monogamy since they got together about six years ago. They met through a recovery fellowship program and built a friendship over a few years before they started dating and dipping their toes into non-monogamy as a way for Cathy to explore her bisexuality.

Cathy and Steve come from very different relational backgrounds... Steve was married to his ex-wife in a multi-decade "mostly successful relationship that ran its course" whereas Cathy had been suppressing her sexuality for decades only to have it bubble up through infidelities in multiple marriages before she met Steve.

Their relationship is built on a foundation of open and honest communication and friendship where they both feel like they're able to be their authentic selves. Their non-monogamous adventures have had ups and downs and have spanned the spectrum of swinging, hotwifing, cuckolding, and polyamory. They do a bit of everything and they're figuring it out as they go!

After you listen to this beautiful interview we encourage you to check out Cathy and Steve's writing on Medium and on their website under the pseudonyms Sam and Kate!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Hilly first joined us on Episode 225 and now she's back to catch us up on all the ways she's been kicking ass over the last three years! She's a 38 year old pansexual, polyamorous, neurodivergent, BDSM practitioner of more than 20 years. She's also an ageplay advocate and educator, and the winner of the title of "Florida Little 2024!" (Edit: In the intro we mention that Hilly is the first person to win this new title... She is the second person to win it, and first woman to win.)

This interview is so beautiful, uplifting, and full of love! Hilly shares some updates on her partnerships and takes us deep into the world of kink and BDSM title competitions. She also shares her own powerful journey of running for, and winning her Florida Little 2024 title in December!

Hilly has also spoken on several other podcasts over the years and enjoys sharing her experiences both in the BDSM lifestyle, as well as her polyamorous journey with her partner of over 5 years. Her greatest goal is to create more supportive spaces and to foster a deeper understanding and acceptance for ageplay and many of the more niche kinks that exist under the greater umbrella of the BDSM lifestyle. She is an LGBTQIA+ ally, and makes a point of advocating for the rights of all people to live their truest and most authentic selves.

You can find out more about Hilly and her work over on her website, her Facebook page, and her YouTube channel!

Check out the full show notes here.

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James is an Australian living in the UK who has been practicing some form of non-monogamy since he met his partner at a kink club in London nearly 20 years ago. He currently describes his flavor of non-monogamy as sitting in the middle of the Venn diagram between kink, polyamory, and swinging... His relationships often blend these three together in some fashion.

James is insatiably curious and passionate about relationships, connection, community, and life in general! He was also diagnosed with AUDHD (Autism and ADHD) a few years ago and shares with us how this has changed his whole understanding of how he's done relationships and life for over 50 years.

We love this conversation and hope you enjoy it as well! If you're interested in more from James, you can find his writing on Medium as well.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today we're answering questions from our virtual community! First, we talk about how to be the hinge partner in a dynamic where your two partners want nothing to do with one another. And then, we share some of our thoughts on how to maintain and deepen our connection with a partner when we have different libidos, sexual interests, and desires.

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com!

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

Check out the full show notes here.

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JoEllen woke up one day in 2011 and knew she needed to make some changes in her life. Not long after that she divorced her husband and sadly, her father passed away. She took about a year to collect herself while she figured out what was next... Coming out of her marriage, she didn't know what she wanted out of life and relationships but she definitely knew what she didn't want.

So! She decided to start learning about sex because it was something she never really knew much about... She started researching and learning as much as she could and early in her research she discovered non-monogamy.

Since then, JoEllen has been busy exploring her own style of non-monogamy, figuring out what works best for her, sharing her journey online, and generally being a badass who loves talking about all of the things most people are afraid to.

JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken at www.redheadbedhead.com. She is also the author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having and In It Together: Navigating Depression with Partners, Friends, and Family. Please check out and support her incredible work on Patreon!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Ashley and Mark have such an incredible and inspirational approach to exploring non-monogamy and life in general! They've been together over six years and about two years ago Mark brought up the idea of non-monogamy. They spent a year researching and learning before diving in and going to their first swinging event.

Today they take us through their beautiful story and how they've both been learning to support each other without abandoning or sacrificing themselves. They've also been figuring out how to explore non-monogamy at different paces that support their different comfort levels and interests. Plus! They're doing all of this while raising two kids in a blended family and while living with Mark's ex-wife and co-parent of his child.

This conversation is so full of love and positivity and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Marie joins us today from Denmark! She has been with her husband for more than a decade and about two years into their partnership they slowly began opening their relationship. They started by going to swinging clubs and getting into the swinging scene for a few years before shifting to dating separately and exploring polyamory.

Marie and her husband never really had a "plan" they were following for non-monogamy, and they still don't. Their journey together has brought so much joy and love into their lives but that doesn't mean it always came easily. Like many couples who have been together a long time, they had to do a lot of work to differentiate from one another and learn how to stand on their own as individuals while also maintaining their connection. Marie's story is really beautiful and we hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Marie and her husband run a support and education community for people who are exploring non-monogamy called Openwise. They also travel around in their campervan teaching sexual education at schools and Marie works as a relationship and jealousy coach specializing in non-monogamy. You can learn more about her work on her website and at www.openwise.community.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Orit is back! We first talked to Orit back on Episode 309 just as she was starting to go through some major relational shifts and transitions when her nesting partner began dating her recently former partner's other partner.

Today, she takes us inside her healing and grieving journey over the last two years. It hasn't been easy (to say the least!) but as you'll hear in this beautiful conversation, she's now found herself in a really great place emotionally and relationally.

Orit Krug is an award-winning Board-Certified Dance/Movement Therapist who helps individuals and couples heal from past trauma through their bodies and movement so they can move on from the past and create lasting, loving relationships.

For over 12 years, Orit has transformed the lives of more than 5,000 clients from over 10 different countries. Her online programs have helped thousands break free from their unhealthy, trauma-driven relationship cycles and experience positive transformations in their love lives. Check out all of her work and learn about her retreats on her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Growing up in a small, remote, conservative town in Manitoba Alayna didn't even know that women could be gay... It wasn't a thing she even thought was possible. She was boy crazy in school to the point where her parents and teachers were a bit concerned.

Today she takes us on her beautiful and complicated journey of discovering her own sexuality and ultimately coming out as gay when she was 29. Along the way Alayna was in a 10-year relationship with her boyfriend, explored polyamory, thought she was bisexual, and then slowly realized that she wasn't bisexual and that polyamory wasn't for her. Alayna's story is so powerful as she shows us how hard it can be to overcome the shame and societal expectations around our sexuality and relationships.

Alayna described herself on her YouTube Channel better than we ever could...

Alayna Joy is a therapist-in-training, climbing-obsessed, queer content creator who brings her frank and funny perspective to a wide range of topics, such as mental health and sexuality. She is the host of Sleeping Around: The Psychology of Sex, Dating, and Relationships and co-hosts the Chosen Family Podcast. Alayna is currently completing a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology as a part of her training to become a licensed psychotherapist. Across social media, Alayna shares her love for all things sexuality, climbing, and the great outdoors with a positive community of like-minded women and 2SLGBTQIA+ folks. No matter the type of content she’s creating, Alayna’s goal is always to keep laughter and education at the forefront. Check out all of Alayna's work here!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today we're answering questions from our virtual community! First, we talk about polyamory breakups and then we follow it by answering a question about NRE (New Relationship Energy).

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com!

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Molly is so full of positive energy and good vibes! This conversation is an absolute delight and also so powerful as Molly shares her relationship journey and experiences with us. Normally we try to summarize what that looks like but the bio on Molly's website does a much better job than we ever could...

"I’ve always been curious about (maybe even obsessed with) relationships. I’ve always loved big. I’ve always wanted to disrupt social norms that didn’t seem quite right. So when I first learned that non-monogamy was possible in my early 20s, my mind and heart were forever changed. 15 years later, as I continue crafting my own unique flavor of non-monogamy, my mission in life is to help others heal and build the relationships of their dreams."

We hope you enjoy our conversation with Molly as much as we did!

Molly is also a relationship coach and therapist who loves working with people all across the relationship spectrum! Please check out all of her work over on her website at Bonobo Relationships!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today Jaye takes us through pretty much his entire relationship history and it is an exciting and beautiful ride!

After years of serial monogamy, Jaye and a friend(ish) started swinging together and his whole world began to open up. Shortly after finding the swinging lifestyle, Jaye met his (now) wife and then had to come out to her about swinging and being bisexual.

Jaye and his wife took a few years slowly getting into swinging while building a foundation together. Fast forward to today... Jaye has multiple partners, he and his wife are exploring a pretty fluid open relationship dynamic, and Jaye started a rock band that plays at lifestyle events he hosts in Florida!

Jaye brings so much love and positivity to our conversation today and to all of his work! You can learn more about Jaye's events and band over at his website metamourentertainment.com. Enjoy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Kiley and her husband jumped into swinging about four years ago and hit the ground running... Or possibly sprinting. After their first trip to a swingers club they started going to clubs and events frequently and at the same time Kiley decided she wanted to share their journey of learning and exploration on social media.

Kiley takes us through their journey over the last four years as she shares how much of an impact the experience has had on her life and who she is today. Swinging lifestyle events and social media consumed her life for years before she ultimately had to step back and re-evaluate what she was wanting from it and what parts of herself she needed to heal.

Today, Kiley and her husband are still exploring swinging and non-monogamy and she shares with us what that looks like and how she has brought balance back into her life.

Kiley George is a passionate sex and relationship coach, content creator, non-monogamy and sex work advocate, and host of the The Pineapple Express Podcast—A Millennial Swingers Podcast. With years of experience in the swinging and non-monogamous world, Kiley specializes in helping individuals and couples explore their desires and build meaningful relationships. She is also a dedicated advocate for sex-positive spaces and works closely with clubs, events, and thought leaders to create inclusive, educational experiences for the community. To find out more about Kiley follow her on social media.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Lizz and Gabriel found one another at an adult rollerskating class a few months after Lizz's husband passed away. Lizz came to their partnership with over twenty years of exploring polyamory with her husband and another longterm partner. Gabriel came to the relationship with zero experience in non-monogamy and had grown up very religious with no concept of relationships other than to meet someone, get married, have kids, and never ever get divorced.

Lizz and Gabriel come from different backgrounds and have different styles of polyamory and preferences of relating. They don't have a ton of rules. other than to be honest and treat one another with kindness. And, they have a ton of fun and so much love and respect for one another as you'll hear throughout this incredible and vulnerable conversation.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today we are answering questions from our virtual community! First up, we determine when you're allowed to call yourself non-monogamous. How many partners do you have to have to qualify? Come found out.

Then we talk about how to show up authentically in a non-monogamous partnership when it feels like you can't really be yourself around your loved ones or may not even be able to be out in public at all.

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com!

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today George takes us on his powerful relationship journey that spans more than thirty years... For the first ten years he was monogamously married and then separated amicably when he was about 30. In his thirties George remarried but ended up cheating on his wife every few years throughout most of their partnership. She found out early on and they sort of had an unspoken agreement which ultimately ended after about 11 years.

After his second marriage George decided he wanted to do relationships differently. Lying, cheating, and dishonesty were not what George wanted in a partnership yet neither was monogamy.

For the last ten years George has been diving deep into learning and exploring the world of ethical non-monogamy. He now identifies as solo poly and loves forming connections with women all over the world that are rooted in honesty, transparency, and clear communication.

Not only does George love exploring relationships and connection in his personal life, he's also made it his profession. George lives in Australia and has been working as a legal male escort for the last year. For him, his work is about companionship, connection, and healing. To learn more about George and his work, please check out his website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Irene's first "serious" dive into exploring non-monogamy came towards the end of her Master's program when she and a new partner both came to their relationship not really wanting monogamy... Yet, neither of them had done this before, they didn't have many resources to guide them, and they were in a brand new relationship together. And, those were just the hurdles they knew existed. Spoiler alert: They ended up finding some hidden ones as well!

As Irene describes it, opening their relationship was chaos. Today, she takes us back to the beginning and shares with us how she and her partner moved through the chaos together while also healing themselves as individuals. The journey has not been easy and we're incredibly grateful to Irene for her vulnerability in sharing her story.

Irene combines her own lived experiences with her extensive training in yoga therapy and her background in clinical sexual health counseling to bring an in-depth understanding of the mind and body to her coaching work. She is also the author of the bestselling book The Polyamory Paradox: Finding Your Confidence in Consensual Non-Monogamy. Please check out all of Irene's work on her website.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Over the last few weeks we have been bringing you updates from Christy, Rebecca, David, and Jason... They've all been on the podcast multiple times before and even came on Episode 143 all together at the start of the pandemic to talk about how they live under one roof. A lot has changed in the last four years and today we dig deep into it in this beautiful conversation.

We highly encourage you to listen to this episode even if you haven't listened to any of the other conversations with these four and even if you never plan to live with multiple partners. The intentionality, skills, and communication needed to live together with five adults and a toddler are really not much different than living with one other person... You just need a lot more of it when there are more people and you can't get away with sweeping as much under the rug. We learned so many incredible and valuable lessons in this interview and we hope you do as well. 

It's really just about the vibe, ya'll! Enjoy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Christy and Jason met on Fetlife a bit over six years ago and have been together ever since. They've both been on previous episodes (Episodes 46, 72, 143, and 367) but we've never had an opportunity to talk with just the two of them about their relationship and how it came to be.

In this conversation, they take us back to the beginning and share with us how they've grown their partnership from a starting point where they were not at all aligned in how they approached polyamory. Christy was living a very integrated life with her husband and multiple partners in a kitchen table polyamory dynamic while Jason was exploring solo polyamory and healing from multiple recent relationships that left him scared to ever have his partners meet one another and never wanting to live with anyone.

Six years later, Christy and Jason are married and live on five acres with their two year old kiddo, Christy's other partner and former husband David, his wife Rebecca, Christy's sister, eleven chickens, two dogs, and a cat... 

Easy as that. Except it wasn't quite that easy.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Rebecca is back! David is back!

Rebecca shared her story on Episode 142, David has been on the podcast with his partner Christy on Episodes 72 and 367, and David and Rebecca were both on Episode 143 with their polycule... Yet, Rebecca and David have never been on the show together with just the two of them to share their story.

So, here we are!

David had been polyamorous for a few years when they both swiped right, but this was Rebecca's first experience in a polyamorous relationship. Today, Rebecca and David have been together almost six years and they take us through how they came together and built a beautiful and collaborative partnership while navigating a global pandemic and living together with other partners and family members.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today we are answering questions from our virtual community... We get a bit personal and talk about our own journeys into the world of coaching and working with people in sex-positive and non-monogamous spaces. We also talk about when and how to have conversations with new potential connections about their approach to non-monogamy and... We make an official ruling on what counts as being in an orgy!

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com!

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Christy and David are back!

It's been more than five years since we first talked with these two on Episode 72 and every time we get the chance to talk it's absolutely amazing... Today is no exception. You do not need to listen to our previous conversations with Christy and David for today to rock your world.

This conversation is full of love, determination, hard work, stubbornness, and more love as Christy and David take us deep inside their relationship and the incredibly beautiful journey they have been on together and as individuals.

Enjoy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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HAZL's story takes us into the familiar messy first few years of exploring polyamory where she's learning and unlearning so much about life and who she is. After a few years she found herself in a monogamous partnership that was her safe space and anchor as she gave everything she had to chase her dream of becoming a professional musician. As she ended that partnership, she made her way back to polyamory again... But this time it feels different to her with a whole new perspective and purpose.

Professionally, HAZL is a Queer singer-songwriter from Portland, Oregon. Graduating with a full ride from Los Angeles Academy for Artists and Music Producers (LAAMP) in early 2024, HAZL has created an infectious, vivid, and inspiring sound that’s all her own. Beginning as an acoustic artist, she is now playing in the world of electronic sound. Influenced by Labrinth, Sylvan Esso, and Imogen Heap, HAZL is on track to release her Debut EP R.E.A.L. (Real Emotions Are Loud) on March 24th, 2025.

Connect with HAZL via Instagram or check out her Linktree for all of her work!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Fox's story is a vulnerable, beautiful, and powerful reminder that each of us is continually learning about ourselves, growing, and evolving. As we evolve, so do our relationships and it's not always easy... Yet, the challenges and growth that we encounter are also opportunities to bring us closer together.

Fox wrote a better bio for herself than we ever could have! And so, a bit more about the lovely Fox!

Fox Eros (M.A., AMFT), known as 'The Polyamory Therapist' has earned a reputation as an incandescent, deeply empathetic and passion filled Psychotherapist, Writer and Speaker. She has a Master’s Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy, and is an expert in Consensual Non-Monogamous Relationships, as well as Sex Therapy.

Fox's calling is to radicalize pleasure, love and sexuality. She is currently at work on her first book on polyamory and is a contributing writer and educator in the polyamory field. Fox continues to be sought out to help those with life stress, self-worth, identity, impacts of trauma and issues in relationships, sex and intimacy.

Fox identifies as a pansexual, panromantic, polyamorous, multi-ethnic, BIPOC femme person; and lives on the land of the Chumash and Gabrielino-Tongva First Peoples. Her pleasures include being a Beloved, forest bathing, morning mochas in the sun, crushing on our infinite Universe and connecting to her Ancestors.

Connect with Fox on social media @thepleasurefox or her website foxerosinlove.com.

Check out the full show notes here.

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We don't normally give advice on our show but when you have a chance to tap into the brilliance of Dedeker, Emily, and Jase... You take it!

This is a listener Q+A episode where they discuss:

• What was the biggest challenge in your polyam journey, and how did you overcome it?

• What are some good steps to reconnect after initiating a break in the relationship?

• Any advice for someone looking to explore other polyam sites away from the safe harbor that the Multiamory Discord has become?

• How can one be a good beginner? What are some red flags or warning signs you see many fledgling polyam folk brush past or ignore?

• When de-escalating or transitioning relationships to one with less closeness and frequency, do you have any tips for adjusting your expectations or managing hurt feelings?

• How to set healthy and ethical boundaries within the context of a highly entangled, mutually desired lifelong commitment. Specifically, boundaries that don’t look like “veto power” or interference in other relationships, but also don’t just come down to “walking away” in the presence of incompatible strong preferences (not needs).

• How do you know the difference between genuine third party trauma or if emotions are being used to force a certain result? How do you spot this before becoming invested?

To learn more about the incredible work the Multiamory team does, please check out their website at multiamory.com

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today we are join by the Director of Marketing and Communications at Global Protection Corp. (manufacturers of ONE and MyONE condoms) and we are super excited! Milla is here to talk about and answer all your condom questions in a special ask us anything episode we're calling Condom University! Enjoy!

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Learn more about Meshai and all of her work over at expansiveconnection.com!

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

Check out the full show notes here.

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In his mid-twenties he started finding communities that were at the intersections of sex-positivity, neo-tantra, and polyamory. The support of these various different intentional communities opened Dave's world up to a completely different way of forming relationships and connections.

Today, while Dave identifies as a solo polyamorous person, he is much more focused on creating healthy intentional communities that support learning, living and loving authentically as the imperfect humans we all are.

Dave Booda is a writer, musician and social entrepreneur. He is the co-founder of IntimacyFest and hosts The Darkness Experiment. He has led over 450 workshops on connection, touch and relationships and has consulted for and facilitated experiences for companies, communities, retreats, festivals, conferences, birthday parties, weddings, funerals, and gatherings of all kinds — with the intention to inspire authenticity, connection and group cohesion. He has published over 200 essays for boodaism.com and played over 1000 shows as a touring singer/songwriter. He is a former Naval Officer and graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, currently serving on the board of directors for the Foundation for Intentional Community while living in rural San Diego, California.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today, Eve identifies as a queer, solo polyamorous, relationship anarchist who prefers a more parallel relationship dynamic as opposed to kitchen table polyamory... Like most of us, Eve learned a lot along her journey and we're grateful that she joined us today to share her story.

Eve Rickert is also the co-author of More Than Two, Second Edition and is a Gen X, queer, solo polyamorous, relationship anarchist, neurodivergent cis woman living on unceded WSÁNEC and Lekwungen territory on the west coast of the place currently known as Canada. She is the curator of the More Than Two Essentials series and the non-monogamy resource site morethantwo.ca, the founder and publisher of Thornapple Press, and the founder and mastermind of the science communications firm Talk Science to Me.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Mike is much better at describing himself and his work than we are and so we asked to use the bio from his website... Permission granted!

Hey there, I'm Mike. I'm endlessly fascinated by and interested in people. Why we do what we do. Where we come from. How we choose to live our lives. What interests us. What our passions are. I love to listen. My goal, if we decide to work together, is to help you be the person you want to be, whether the things you want are related to your relationship(s), your career(s), or your life in general!

I don't have a fancy degree, but I do have a certification (and am working on more). What I think is more valuable than a piece of paper is that I have a welcoming ear and quite a bit of life experience. I'm a thirty year veteran of the high-stress music industry, having worked everywhere from distribution to PR to behind the counter at a record store. Over the last decade, I've become involved in the mental health community as an advocate and a volunteer for various organizations. I've also become a sex and relationship educator, drawing on my experiences as a queer person whose relationship orientation leans toward CNM (consensual non-monogamy). I'm a second generation American with an Afro-Caribbean background, and have a wide variety of tastes, experiences and people in my community. I like to think I can relate to just about anyone in some way, shape or form.

For the past three years and counting, I've also hosted and produced a podcast called Detoxicity, which focuses specifically on men and how we can work to move past the socialized behaviors that often handcuff us. How we can be more open, more caring, more sensitive, and be better versions of ourselves for the people in our lives and communities, and most importantly, for ourselves. I've spoken to and learned from over 150 men, from various walks of life, every race and ethnicity, sexual and romantic orientation. And I learn more every time I speak to someone. I'm in the process of learning every day, and I want to be a guide and assistant to your learning journey as well!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Earlier this year Ava, Pinky, and Anthony started a new podcast called Three Shades of Grey where they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work together.

Check out the full show notes here.

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This month's incredible questions come from our private community and are about moving at different paces when opening up a relationship and whether or not you should share your feelings with someone when your interests lie outside of the agreements of another relationship of theirs. Juicy stuff!

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

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I tried writing more about Pinky but her bio over on her website at 3shadesofgrey.com captured it much better than I was able to:

I was born and raised into a religious, and conservative family. Women were taught to not be heard or to put their needs and wants first. As I grew, I found myself in relationships with people who had similar beliefs to my family. I was in a nearly two decade relationship, with a man who had no interest in sex, my sexuality or my desires. I was made to feel guilty when I expressed my sexual desires. Outside of the bedroom, however, we built a solid family together. I stayed for my children, and then I decided, I needed to leave for myself.

It was during this relationship that I first read the Ethical Slut, and it opened my eyes to what relationships could be. My ex and I attempted to have an open relationship, but that was very short lived.

It wasn’t until I met my husband Anthony that I learned more, and realized this was something I wanted to explore further. That’s when I decided to do some research and further educate myself. I became more and more intrigued by the freedom and the voice that was give to women in the non- monogamous world.

The education and conversations that my now husband and I had, built a strong foundation for a successful relationship. During our journey, we talked about things that most couples never even discuss, and we spoke about them open and honestly.

Anthony and I now have an open marriage. I prefer polyamorous relationships, and some situational swinging. Truly I thrive the best on one on one engagement with open and like minded people who are willing to walk the road less traveled.

As a sapiosexual I connect best on an intellectual level first, building a strong relationship, and then engaging physically.

Earlier this year Pinky started a new podcast with her husband Anthony and metamour Ava. On the Three Shades of Grey podcast they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work together.

Check out the full show notes here.

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We loved Ava's description of herself in her bio over at 3shadesofgrey.com and so we borrowed it to help give you a better idea this amazing human!

Hello, my salacious friends, I am Ava Moore. I have been non-monogamous since 2018. Who am I kidding? More like 2012, but I didn’t have a name for it, or accept it back then. I called it “multi- tasking”, however, I was working very hard to be monogamous, and was successful, because I thought that is what I was supposed to do.

I am a single mom. I love people. I love sex. I love connecting. While I have multiple partners, for the most part, I stay in what I call “my circle”. These are the 4 or 5 people who I trust most and who I am the closest to. We build friendships, relationships and we are there for each other. Now, there are times, I will let my hair down and go to a party, or dare I say, host a party for my favorite people.

While I identify as a straight, curvalicious, plus size, single female, I do have my heteroflexible moments from time to time. Most importantly however, is that I am a Sapiosexual. Your brain and personality are what attract me first.

I look forward to getting to know all of you, as Pinky, Anthony, and I embark on this wild journey together.

To clarify that last sentence... Earlier this year Ava started a new podcast with her partner Anthony and metamour Pinky. On the Three Shades of Grey podcast they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work together. Anthony shared his story last week on Episode 357, Pinky will be on next week, and the three of them join us together in two weeks.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Even though his first experience was a bit traumatic for him, a new world of possibilities opened up and he began exploring. Over the last twenty-ish years Anthony has been exploring non-monogamy through swinging (partnered and solo), kink and BDSM (he eventually recovered from the first dungeon party), and polyamory (he's now married and has multiple committed partnerships).

Join us today as Anthony takes us on his adventure and shares with us how he's learned, grown, and built an incredible community of partners and friends where he gets to be himself without being worried of getting kicked out of Bible school.

But wait, there's more! Earlier this year Anthony started a new podcast with his wife Pinky and his partner Ava. On the Three Shades of Grey podcast they talk about the ups and downs of exploring non-monogamy in three very different ways and how the three of them make it work together.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today, Andrea takes us on their beautiful and powerful journey of finding the queer community, embracing their queerness and non-monogamy, and currently finding themself single and embracing the joys of solitude while still identifying with the ideologies of non-monogamy and being open to it in the future. This interview is incredibly deep and vulnerable and we hope you find it as inspiring as we did.

Besides hanging out on our podcast, Andrea is also an author. Rather than trying to recreate their bio, we have borrowed the following from their author page at Thornapple Press.

Andrea Zanin, MA, is a white, nonbinary, middle-aged queer writer who lives in Tkaronto (Toronto, Ontario), on the traditional territory of the Mississaugas of the Credit, the Anishnabeg, the Chippewa, the Haudenosaunee and the Wendat peoples. Andrea’s writing focuses on nonmonogamy and BDSM/Leather. Andrea has written for theGlobe and Mail, The Tyee, Bitch, Ms., Xtra, IN Magazine, Outlooks Magazine and the Montreal Mirror. Their scholarly work, fiction and essays appear in a variety of collections. Andrea blogs at sexgeek.wordpress.com, where they created the 10 Rules for Happy Nonmonogamy and coined the term “polynormativity.” Their first book, Post-nonmonogamy and Beyond, is available from Thornapple Press and they co-authored the second edition of More Than Two.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Over the last five years they've transitioned to a long distance relationship and then back to living in the same city, they've broken up and gotten back together, they've come out to family (sometimes accidentally), and they've navigated a global pandemic. Quad dynamics are notoriously challenging and today we get an incredibly vulnerable look at how these four have made it work and how they've all grown together, and as individuals, along the way.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today's questions are all about finances and money and we have an incredible author, coach, and fellow podcaster Laura Boyle joining us!

Laura just published her second book, "Monogamy? In This Economy?: Finances, Childrearing, and Other Practical Concerns of Polyamory" and she's also the creator of readyforpolyamory.com where you can find more information about all of her fantastic work!

Quick note and disclaimer... Laura, Meshai, and myself (Fin) are NOT tax or finance professionals. Please talk to a financial professional, CPA, or similar about your specific financial situation.

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!

Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.

Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

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They describe themselves as solo polyamorists who live together as a family and run a business together. They met over a decade ago at a party and since then have been loving and supporting one another on their individual healing journeys of coming out and embracing their authentic selves.

Bear and Fifi also do incredibly powerful work in educating and supporting others in their own journeys. The following descriptions come directly from their website and capture who they are better than we could ever imagine doing ourselves. Please check out their website for more information on how to work with these two amazing humans!

Before teaching adults, Bear taught poetry to youth in NYC public schools. He began his career as a coach and case manager in 2018, and has since serviced people of all abilities, backgrounds, and circumstances.

During his time in a private residential treatment facility for adults with mental diagnoses and substance abuse disorders, he practiced crisis intervention, de-escalation tactics, and harm reduction protocols. He then managed cases at Callen Lorde community health clinic and trained in public health policy, gender affirming care, and safer sex. He also distributed housing and medical resources to NYC’s most vulnerable populations.

Bear co-founded Bear & Fifi Coaching in November 2021 with his partner, and became an Urban Tantra certified somatic practitioner in November 2022. He authors all Bear & Fifi Coaching theory and curriculum, including the creation of accessibility conscious tools and exercises to support emotional/nervous system regulation, non-violent communication, vulnerability + connection, and erotic embodiment.

Individually, Bear works with men and masc people of all experiences, members of the TGNC community and survivors of complex relational trauma and abuse.

Fifi is a trained architect, social entrepreneur, and spiritual guide. Their lens is informed by their knowledge of design systems, Tantric embodiment + Kundalini yoga, 17 years of practicing and teaching meditation, and 12 years of continuous recovery from anxiety disorders. As a certified Urban Tantra practitioner, they coach people, particularly those socialized as women, seeking better relationships, deeper intimacy, and more authenticity in their lives. Whether by creating personalized rituals or guiding you through accessing your intuition, Fifi’s goal is to support you with using sensuality as a therapeutic tool and building foundations for a life beyond what you think you deserve.

Fifi is also a non-profit executive serving communities in The Bronx and Harlem through social change and leadership fellowships, art enrichment programs, and historical-multicultural performance presentations.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today, Mae is exploring her own flavor of polyamory and non-monogamy. She has a primary partner along with other people that she dates plus she has some subs and perhaps even a few play partners. As Mae puts it... "If you're not having fun, you may want to question why you're doing it..." And no surprise, this interview with Mae is full of laughs and wild adventures.

Mae also shares with us a bit about her powerful work and describes herself on her website better than we ever could... The Adorable Domme, Miss Mae Ling is a Los Angeles Dominatrix whose charmingly open and sweet approach to life draws out the best in others. Her motto in life is to have fun and enjoy the best of what life has to offer. She seeks to find the true person that is inside of you, cutting through all the exterior and relating with your desires and deepest emotions. The raw truth is what she is after. Check out all of her work and learn more over on her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Jen grew up in Ireland where cultural and religious norms didn't leave much room for being different in any way. Their first exposure to something new and different came during university... However, Jen's biggest changes started when they found an amazing therapist after moving to Scotland.

Therapy was a pivotal moment in Jen's life and gave them space to start deconstructing so many parts of who they are after not having a sense of self for so long. This also led to Jen questioning what they wanted relationships to look like. Jen's experience in therapy was also their inspiration for becoming a therapist themselves!

Today, Jen is a person-centred experiential psychotherapist whose approach is all about offering you a radically non-judgemental relationship where you can safely get to know yourself. You can learn more about Jen's incredible work on their website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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Christa Lei and their partner originally opened their relationship into a "don't ask, don't tell" dynamic, even though neither of them ever acted on it. Eventually, they gave it a little more thought and made a shift to a more integrated kitchen-table poly dynamic, which is how they've now been exploring for the last few years.

Christa's not here to pretend like everything is always easy and perfect. Navigating relationships can be really hard and they've found a lot of power and support in creating a care team for themself through their polyamory community. For Christa, polyamory is just as much about building community and support systems as it is about the dating and romance. Although, there's definitely some of that as well... Did they mention it can get messy?

And... awesome for us, Christa sent over their own bio and so we just had to copy and paste! Woop woop! (Thanks, Christa!)

Christa Lei (they/them/theirs) grew up on Native Hawaiian land as the youngest child of Filipino immigrants. Their professional experiences revolve around healthcare: patient advocacy, casework/care facilitation, and clinical research. Their intersectional identities as fat, neurodivergent, disabled, queer, polyamorous, and third-culture person inform their personal and professional work. 

A multi-modal and experienced creative, Christa creates and facilitates spaces for interdisciplinary praxis via community care. Along with their lived experiences as a crip queer person, they are certified as a death doula by Going with Grace. In their spare time, they dance, sing, write, travel around the world, point out all the puppies on the street, preach the gospel of Shrek, and create shared futures with their chosen family of their loving spouse and two dogs in New York City. Connect with them via Instagram (@supchrista) or at christalei.me or their newsletter isthiswhatyouwant.org.

Check out the full show notes here.

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Today's questions are all about compersion and we have one of the world's leading experts on the subject joining us! Dr. Marie Thouin is a dating and relationship coach as well as the author of the new book "What is compersion?" You can learn more about Marie and her work at www.whatiscompersion.com.

You can also save 25% if you order your copy of her book using the link and code below!

"What is Compersion?"

(Use code RLFANDF25 to save 25%)

If YOU have a question, we'd love to hear it! Please, ask us anything by clicking here!

We are super excited to be partnering with Meshai for the Ask Us Anything episodes! She first appeared on the podcast on Episode 233 and we're honored to have her back!

Meshai is relationship coach with the team at Expansive Connection. She believes in the power of living as one’s authentic self, and the freedom that comes from changing perspectives. She loves putting the puzzle pieces of a couple's sexual energy together and aiding them in positive and explorative movement.

Her coaching work implements creative synergy, openness, self-expression, and the confrontation of challenges through self-determination. She helps individuals from diverse populations move forward with their goals while being fully aware that trauma can play on the whole person.

Meshai is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and is certified in both Trauma Therapy and Sex Therapy, and she is trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

You likely know me (Fin) from over 300 episodes of Normalizing Non-Monogamy. Just in case you don't, I cohost the podcast with my partner Emma and we have been in an open relationship together for over 15 years. I also completed a sex and relationship coaching program through the Somatica Institute in March 2024!

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Today's interview with Flora and Andy is so full of love and zest for life! The last seven years have been full of adventure for these two... They met on Grinder in 2017, got married a few years later, and then a few years ago decided to open their relationship up after a series of infidelities.

Today they practice their own form of non-hierarchical polyamory after trying out different flavors of non-monogamy along the way. They take us inside their partnership and share how they rebuilt everything in spite of the infidelities and all of the self-discovery and growth that they both did to get to where they are today.

Flora and Andy also share with us how they've persevered and supported one another as a multicultural trans and non-binary queer couple exploring the world of sex, dating, relationships, and life. When they're not sharing their life story on our podcast, you can find Flora and Andy on Instagram where they do powerful work helping organizations and companies be more inclusive to queer communities. Please check out their work and enjoy this interview with Flora and Andy!

Check out the full show notes here.

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From a very young age Sandy had lots of crushes, loved kissing boys, and felt very free. Unfortunately, she learned very quickly how judgmental people are when she started getting called names at school and the shame started to creep in. She learned to hide parts of herself in order to fit in during high school but then in college she learned that "being queer" was actually a thing.

Sandy is an incredible storyteller and today's interview is full of love, laughter, and deep emotion. Sandy takes us on her powerful journey of discovering who she is and how to truly be herself while constantly fighting the shame from friends, family, and the world around her.

Today, she describes herself as a queer solo polyamorous woman who is a queen bee with lots of little honey bees buzzing around her. She weaves so many fantastic lessons, tools, tricks, and strategies into her amazing story of life and adventure! Enjoy!

Dr. Sandy Peace is a psychologist, sex therapist, trained sex educator, provides trainings for mental health professionals on working with polyamorous clients, and facilitates polyamory support/discussion groups. She presented her doctoral dissertation research – "Toward a Model of Polyamorous Identity Development" – at the first International Academic Polyamory Conference at U.C. Berkeley in 2012. To learn more about Sandy and to work with her, please check out her website!

Check out the full show notes here.

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