Myopia Movies

Coyote Ugly

Thu, 10 Sep 2026 14:43:54 -0400

A movie about a songwriter who is too shy to sing, solved by putting her on a bar in wet jeans. Violet Sanford flees New Jersey for Manhattan with a demo tape and roughly nine dollars, gets robbed, gets hired at a saloon whose entire business model is "hydrate the patrons against their will," and discovers that the cure for stage fright is a crowd of drunk men chanting. Meanwhile her father drives down from the Garden State to yell about it, and Adam Garcia keeps showing up like a Australian golden retriever who learned to make omelets.

Bruckheimer looked at Flashdance, said "what if less plot and more hose," and cashed a check. We're here for the fire code violations, the LeAnn Rimes of it all, and the moment John Goodman quietly outacts the entire soundtrack. Also: nobody in this bar is ever served a drink. We counted.

Can you fight the moonlight? Findings inside.

How will Coyote Ugly hold up?

Directed by David McNally
Starring: Piper Perabo, Adam Garcia, John Goodman, Maria Bello, Izabella Miko, Tyra Banks, Bridget Moynahan, Melanie Lynskey

Mean Girls Remastered

Fri, 04 Sep 2026 18:42:37 -0400

We're digging into the vault for this one. The Plastics are back, Gretchen is still trying to make fetch happen, and so are we. Join us as we revisit our take on the 2004 teen comedy that somehow became both a cultural touchstone and a Broadway musical — because Hollywood ran out of ideas and humility.

Does Mean Girls hold up? Is Regina George actually the hero? Why does a grown adult math teacher have this many emotional breakdowns? We had questions in [original year]. We have more questions now.

Remastered for clarity. The opinions are messier than ever.

How will Mean Girls hold up?

Directed by Mark Waters
Starring Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert, Amanda Seyfried, Lizzy Caplan, Daniel Franzese, Jonathan Bennett, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Rajiv Surendra

Ginger Snaps

Thu, 27 Aug 2026 11:39:35 -0400

This week on Myopia Movie, we got a full moon coming up! We watched Ginger Snaps, where a Canadian teenager gets bitten by a werewolf on the same night she gets her first period...turns out puberty was always kind of a horror movie, we just needed the claws to make it official.

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How will Ginger Snaps hold up?

Directed by John Fawcett
Starring: Emily Perkins, Katharine Isabelle, Kris Lemche, Mimi Rogers, Jesse Moss

Encino Man

Thu, 20 Aug 2026 14:29:07 -0400

Two California teens dig a hole in the backyard looking for a swimming pool and instead unearth a frozen Neanderthal, thaw him out with a hair dryer, and enroll him in high school. It works about as well as you'd expect. Brendan Fraser grunts his way through his big-screen debut as "Link," Pauly Shore is somehow the film's moral center, and Sean Astin plays a guy who just wants everyone to respect the Pleistocene. We dig into the movie's truly deranged internal logic (nobody calls the Smithsonian?), the early-90s obsession with turning "weird outsider" into "coolest kid at school" in under 90 minutes, and whether this counts as anthropology if you squint hard enough. Bring your own hair dryer.
How will Encino Man hold up?

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Here are the film credits for Encino Man (1992):

Director: Les Mayfield

Cast:

Sean Astin as Dave Morgan
Brendan Fraser as Link (Linkovitch Chomofsky)
Pauly Shore as Stanley "Stoney" Brown
Megan Ward as Robyn Sweeney
Robin Tunney as Ella
Michael DeLuise as Matt Wilson
Mariette Hartley as Joan Morgan
Richard Masur as Ed Morgan
Rick Ducommun as Mr. Morris

Jawbreaker (1999)

Thu, 13 Aug 2026 14:01:23 -0400

This week on Myopia Movie, we got a candy-coated murder cover-up coming up! We watched Jawbreaker, where three impossibly glamorous high school mean girls accidentally kill their best friend with a birthday prank gone wrong and then spend the rest of the movie handling it with all the grace and subtlety you'd expect from teenagers who peaked in the "Flawless" clique... turns out 1999 had a lot of feelings about popularity, and somehow all of them involve Judy Greer stealing every scene she's in.

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How will Jawbreaker hold up?

Directed by Darren Stein
Starring: Rose McGowan, Rebecca Gayheart, Julie Benz, Judy Greer, Rose Marie, Pam Grier

Can't Hardly Wait

Thu, 06 Aug 2026 11:15:42 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we got a yearbook coming up! We watched Can't Hardly Wait, where a lovesick teenager spends an entire graduation party trying to work up the nerve to talk to his crush...turns out 1998 had a lot of feelings about the last day of high school and a surprising number of them involve Jerry Springer references.

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How will Can't Hardly Wait hold up?

Directed by Harry Elfont, Deborah Kaplan
Starring: Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Charlie Korsmo, Lauren Ambrose, Peter Facinelli, Seth Green, Jerry O'Connell, Melissa Joan Hart

Pumping Iron

Thu, 30 Jul 2026 16:25:18 -0400

Before he was terminating cyborgs or governing California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was just a well-oiled Austrian oak with a plan and a truly alarming amount of confidence. This week we strap into George Butler and Robert Fiore's landmark bodybuilding documentary, where men in tiny shorts pursue "aesthetics" with the single-minded devotion usually reserved for religious orders. We'll be riffing on the sun-baked psychodrama of the 1975 Mr. Olympia competition, Arnold's genuinely unhinged mind games against poor Lou Ferrigno, and a supporting cast of quads that deserve their own screen credit. Expect commentary on 70s masculinity, the pageantry of competitive posing, and the sneaking suspicion that this whole film is just performance art that forgot to tell anyone. Pump up, tune in, and don't skip leg day — or this episode.

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How will Pumping Iron hold up?

Directed by George Butler and Robert Fiore,

Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno, Franco Columbu, Mike Katz, Ken Waller, and Serge Nubret

Super Size Me

Thu, 23 Jul 2026 17:35:18 -0400

This week on Myopia Movie, we got a value meal coming up! We watched Super Size Me, where a documentarian eats nothing but McDonald's for 30 days straight...turns out "would you like to supersize that" was less of a question and more of a warning.

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How will Super Size Me hold up?

Directed by Morgan Spurlock
Starring: Morgan Spurlock, Daryl Isaacs, Bridget Bennett, Don Gorske, Lisa Ganjhu, Alexandra Jamieson

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters (Fixed)

Fri, 17 Jul 2026 00:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movie, we got a kill screen coming up! We watched The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, where a middle school science teacher sets a record against a hot sauce magnate on a standee arcade machine...millennials, eat your heart out.

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How will The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters hold up?

Directed by Seth Gordon
Starring: Steve Wiebe, Billy Mitchell, Mark Alpiger, Adam Wood, Walter Day, Steve Sanders, Steven Krogman, Robert Mruczek

American Movie

Thu, 09 Jul 2026 11:53:39 -0400

This week we start season 13 in earnest as we talk a month of documentaries! We watched American Movie, a film about being creative, the American Dream, and keeping the Surge nice and chilled. RIP to Uncle Billy!

This week on Myopia Movies, we're trading the usual fictional disasters for a documented one. Chris Smith's American Movie follows Mark Borchardt — Wisconsin's answer to Orson Welles, if Orson Welles had a day job at a cemetery and financed his art through a combination of paper routes and his uncle's life savings — as he attempts, against all reason and budget, to finish his short horror film Coven.

It's not a movie about filmmaking so much as a movie about willpower, and what happens when that willpower vastly outpaces talent, funding, sobriety, and — in at least one memorable scene — the ability to say the word "coven" without flubbing it forty separate times. Mark's business partner Mike Schank drifts through every frame like a man who found inner peace by accident and never bothered to explain how. Family members get roped into acting roles they clearly didn't audition for. A wall gets punched. A head goes through a cabinet, on purpose, for art.

We riff on a lot of terrible movies here. This is that rare thing: a great one about the terrible movies other people make — and somehow ends up more heartfelt than half the scripted stuff we cover. Grab a beer, don't invest in anyone's film school dropout uncle, and let's watch a man refuse, with genuine heroism, to give up on Wisconsin's most cursed haunted house short.

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How will American Movie hold up?

Directed by Chris Smith

Starring:

Mark Borchardt
Mike Schank
Tom Schank
Monica Borchardt
Ken Keen
Bill Borchardt
Chris Borchardt (Mark's brother)
Alex Borchardt-Hume (Mark's son)

Independence Day (1996) Revisited

Sun, 05 Jul 2026 19:44:56 -0400

Welcome to Season 13!!!!! This week on Myopia Movies we celebrate the 4th of July and America's 250th Anniversary the only way we know how, by watching most of it be destroyed. That's right, we watched Germany's most Patriotic American Roland Emmerich's Independence Day (1996), the most badass a President has ever been on film.

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How will Independence Day (1996) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko and Emily

Directed by: Roland Emmerich

Starring:

Will Smith
Jeff Goldblum
Bill Pullman
Mary McDonnell
Judd Hirsch
Margaret Colin
Randy Quaid
Robert Loggia
James Rebhorn
Brent Spiner
Harry Connick Jr.
Jean Smart
Vivica A. Fox
Harvey Fierstein
Frank Langella

Independence Day: Resurgence - Summer Reruns

Thu, 25 Jun 2026 00:09:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we return to a world that once united humanity… and immediately wonder if we should have just let the aliens win the first time. It’s Independence Day: Resurgence, the long-awaited sequel that answers the question: “What if we did the same movie again, but louder and with fewer speeches people remember?”

Join us as we revisit Earth, now armed with alien tech, global cooperation, and absolutely no plan when the aliens come back bigger, angrier, and apparently very into drilling.

We ask the hard questions:

Can David Levinson save the world again using vibes, intuition, and a laptop from 1996?
Is President Whitmore still giving speeches, or just spiritually hovering over this movie wishing he were?
And at what point does a spaceship become so large that it’s less of a threat and more of a weather pattern?

We break down Roland Emmerich’s return to large-scale destruction, the film’s attempt at passing the torch to a new generation, and why sometimes “more” doesn’t actually mean “better.”

Also: we try to track the plot, which mostly involves characters running toward explosions while explaining things that don’t make the explosions make any more sense.

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How will Independence Day: Resurgence hold up?

End Credits

Directed by: Roland Emmerich

Starring:

Liam Hemsworth as Jake Morrison
Jeff Goldblum as David Levinson
Bill Pullman as President Thomas J. Whitmore
Jessie T. Usher as Dylan Hiller
Maika Monroe as Patricia Whitmore
Travis Tope as Charlie Miller
Charlotte Gainsbourg as Dr. Catherine Marceaux

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Summer Reruns

Thu, 18 Jun 2026 00:09:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we boldly go… to 1986 San Francisco. Yes, this week's summer rerun is Star Trek IV, the one where the fate of the galaxy depends on two humpback whales and the crew’s ability to not completely blow their cover in the past (they fail immediately).

Join us as we explore the most charmingly bizarre entry in the franchise—a sci-fi film with no real villain, a heavy dose of environmentalism, and more comedy than you’d expect from a crew that usually debates ethics at warp speed.

We tackle the big questions:

Is Spock relearning humanity… or just deeply confused by 20th-century profanity?
How does James T. Kirk manage to save the planet while also committing multiple federal crimes?
And is this the only blockbuster where the central conflict could be solved by a really well-funded aquarium?

Featuring time travel hijinks, transparent aluminum, and perhaps the most wholesome mission in Star Trek history, this episode dives into why The Voyage Home feels less like a space epic and more like a cosmic field trip that somehow works perfectly.

Also: we attempt to explain the plot to someone who has never seen Star Trek, which mostly results in us sounding like conspiracy theorists yelling about whales.

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How will Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home hold up?

Directed by: Leonard Nimoy

Starring:

William Shatner as Admiral James T. Kirk
Leonard Nimoy as Spock
DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy
James Doohan as Montgomery Scott
George Takei as Hikaru Sulu
Walter Koenig as Pavel Chekov
Nichelle Nichols as Uhura
Catherine Hicks as Dr. Gillian Taylor

Watchmen - Summer Reruns

Thu, 11 Jun 2026 00:09:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we put on the mask, stare into the abyss, and then complain about the lighting. We dust off a paywall episode this week as we watch Watchmen—the most philosophical superhero movie ever made, or at least the one most likely to assign you homework afterward.

Join us as we unpack a world where superheroes are less “save the day” and more “deeply complicate geopolitics.” We wrestle with questions like:

Is Rorschach a moral absolutist… or just the world’s angriest inkblot?
How does Dr. Manhattan make omnipotence feel like a midlife crisis?
And is Ozymandias the smartest man alive—or just really good at PowerPoint presentations with catastrophic consequences?

We dive into Zack Snyder’s ultra-stylized adaptation of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ legendary graphic novel, debating whether it captures the spirit of the original—or just lovingly recreates it in slow motion.

Also: we try to determine if any superhero team has ever had worse workplace chemistry, and whether the giant blue nudist is actually the least weird part of this movie.

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How will Watchmen hold up?

Directed by: Zack Snyder

Starring:

Malin Åkerman as Laurie Jupiter / Silk Spectre II
Patrick Wilson as Dan Dreiberg / Nite Owl II
Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach
Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan
Matthew Goode as Adrian Veidt / Ozymandias
Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Edward Blake / The Comedian
Carla Gugino as Sally Jupiter / Silk Spectre

Casino Royale (Daniel Craig) - Summer Reruns

Thu, 04 Jun 2026 00:09:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we finally gamble big on Bond—real Bond. We dust off a previously paywalled episode as we’re talking high-stakes poker, parkour chases that feel like a personal insult to your hamstrings, and a version of 007 who bleeds, broods, and looks like he might actually lose a fistfight (before winning it anyway).

Join us as we break down how Casino Royale rebooted the franchise with all the subtlety of a defibrillator. We ask the important questions:

Is this the most emotionally vulnerable Bond, or just the most recently traumatized?
How many people need to die over a card game before someone suggests Uno instead?
And does anyone in the Bond universe understand what a normal vacation looks like?

Featuring one of the greatest Bond villains to ever cry blood and a love story that hits harder than Bond’s torture scene (yes, that one), this episode dives into what makes Casino Royale not just a great Bond film—but a genuinely great film, full stop.

Also: we try to explain poker strategy with the confidence of men who absolutely should not be allowed near a casino.

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How will Casino Royale hold up?

Host: Jon Copsey

Panel: Nic

Directed by: Martin Campbell

Starring:

Daniel Craig as James Bond
Eva Green as Vesper Lynd
Mads Mikkelsen as Le Chiffre
Judi Dench as M
Jeffrey Wright as Felix Leiter
Giancarlo Giannini as René Mathis

AI - Artificial Intelligence

Thu, 28 May 2026 16:35:39 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we're going full existential crisis with A.I. Artificial Intelligence — the 2001 Spielberg film based on the project Stanley Kubrick spent decades developing and wisely never finished. It's got everything you'd expect from a Spielberg joint: a family torn apart by divorce energy, social dynamics that make you want to lie down, and — in what can only be described as a creative choice — aliens. In the third act. For reasons.

A boy robot wants to be a real boy. His mom is not fully on board. His dad is very not on board. A sentient teddy bear named Teddy is, somehow, the most emotionally stable character in the film. Jude Law shows up as a gigolo robot, almost saves the movie, and is promptly sidelined so we can get back to the crying.

The film ends. Then it ends again. Then aliens arrive. Then it ends a third time.

Joining us this week is the legendary Jiggle O'Joe, who survived this film with us and only had to step outside twice.

Myopia Movies — watching the movies you loved, the movies you hated, and apparently now the movies that make you question the nature of love itself.

How will AI - Artificial Intelligence hold up?

Directed by: Steven Spielberg (from a project developed by Stanley Kubrick)

Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, Frances O'Connor, Sam Robards, Jake Thomas, William Hurt, and the voice of Jack Angel as Teddy

Indian in the Cupboard

Thu, 21 May 2026 12:56:41 -0400

Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies, where we dig through the dusty toy chest of childhood nostalgia to explain colonialism to kids and ask the important question: “Was this actually magical… or did we all just really want to own tiny murder-capable action figures?” This week, we’re cracking open The Indian in the Cupboard — the movie that convinced an entire generation that putting living beings in locked containers was somehow heartwarming family entertainment and a poster that asks, is this child going to eat a tiny man?

Will the effects hold up?
Will the emotional trauma of nearly stepping on a real human being hold up?
Will anyone question giving a nine-year-old absolute power over sentient life?

Probably not.

So grab your magic key, hide your Legos before they gain consciousness, and join us as we revisit one of the most aggressively 1990s “children learn responsibility through ethically horrifying fantasy scenarios” movies ever made. It’s The Indian in the Cupboard.

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How will The Indian in the Cupboard hold up?

Directed by Frank Oz

Starring:

Hal Scardino
Litefoot
Steve Coogan

Child's Play 3

Thu, 14 May 2026 12:18:29 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we head back to military school where the uniforms are crisp, the cadets are angry, and somehow Chucky has access to live ammunition. It’s Child's Play 3 — the movie that asks, “What if summer camp, toxic masculinity, and a killer doll all collided in the least supervised environment imaginable?”

Join us as we discuss the rapid-fire sequel production schedule, why every adult in this movie seems wildly unconcerned about obvious murders, and the strange energy of turning a slasher franchise into a coming-of-age military academy drama. We also dig into the evolution of Chucky as a horror icon, the accidental comedy of the paintball sequence, and whether this is secretly one of the most aggressively early-90s films ever made.

Plus: weird pervert barbers, carnival death traps, overacting cadets, and the eternal question — why does nobody ever believe the kid about the murder doll?

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How will Child's Play 3 hold up?

Directed by Jack Bender

Starring:

Justin Whalin as Andy Barclay
Perrey Reeves as Kristen DeSilva
Jeremy Sylvers as Tyler
Travis Fine as Shelton
Dean Jacobson as Whitehurst
Andrew Robinson as Colonel Cochrane
Dakin Matthews as Sullivan
Brad Dourif as the voice of Chucky

Mannequin

Thu, 07 May 2026 14:49:08 -0400

Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies, where we ruin your childhood one VHS tape at a time. This week, we’re stepping into the neon-lit fever dream that is Mannequin — a movie that asks the important question: “What if a department store mannequin came to life… and immediately dated Andrew McCarthy?”

That’s right. It’s the ‘80s, where unemployment was quirky, retail workers had unlimited creative freedom, and absolutely nobody thought to question whether this relationship required psychiatric intervention. Featuring window displays that apparently stop traffic, villainous retail executives who behave like cartoon burglars, and enough synth music to power a mall arcade for a decade, Mannequin is pure Reagan-era fantasy.

We’ll talk about Kim Cattrall somehow making “ancient Egyptian soul trapped in a mannequin” feel completely reasonable, why every department store in movies looked like Studio 54, and whether Hollywood accidentally created the world’s most charming horror premise. Plus: Hollywood Montrose steals the entire movie, James Spader continues his career-long commitment to being a smarmy weirdo, and we try to determine if this film is actually sweet… or just deeply, deeply strange.

So grab your shoulder pads, crank up Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, and join us as we ask the timeless question: does Mannequin hold up… or should it have stayed in the display window?

How will Mannequin hold up?

Directed by Michael Gottlieb

Starring:
Andrew McCarthy
Kim Cattrall
Meshach Taylor
James Spader
G. W. Bailey
Estelle Getty

RoboCop (1987)

Fri, 01 May 2026 09:02:53 -0400

This week, we head to the crime-ridden dystopia of Detroit where corporations rule, criminals laugh like maniacs, and the solution to urban decay is… a heavily armed cyborg cop with excellent posture.

Join Nic, Matthew, Keiko, Nur, and Alex as they revisit RoboCop (1987), Paul Verhoeven’s ultraviolent, razor-sharp satire that somehow convinced an entire generation of kids that this was appropriate viewing. We’re asking the important questions:

Is this actually one of the smartest sci-fi films ever made… or just an excuse for explosive squibs and corporate slimeballs?
Why did we all think ED-209 was just a normal workplace hazard?
Does RoboCop count as a superhero, a horror monster, or the world’s saddest HR case study?
And how did this movie spawn toys, cartoons, and birthday parties?

Along the way, we break down the film’s biting commentary on privatization, media culture, and late-stage capitalism—while also appreciating just how completely unhinged it gets. It’s part Blade Runner, part Die Hard, and part “what if the evening news was written by lunatics?”

Does RoboCop (1987) hold up as a masterpiece of satire, or were our childhood brains just too distracted by explosions to notice the deeper themes?

Dead or alive, you’re listening to this episode.

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How will RoboCop (1987) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Nur, Keiko

Directed by: Paul Verhoeven

Starring:
Peter Weller,
Nancy Allen,
Ronny Cox,
Kurtwood Smith,
Miguel Ferrer,
Dan O'Herlihy

War Games (1983)

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 12:22:37 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn that the only way to win is not to play. We watched War Games, a delightful romp about the apocalypse. Ally Sheedy is, like, stooping the whole time to make Matthew Broderick look taller than her, right?

🎙️ Thanks for listening, subscribing, and supporting the show—see you next episode.

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How will War Games hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Matthew

Directed by James Badham

Starring: Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, John Wood, Dabney Coleman, Barry Corbin, Juanin Clay, James Tolkan

Transcendence

Thu, 16 Apr 2026 15:20:35 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch Marvel's own Jarvis/Vision fight to stop AI by trying to stop Johnny Depp. It's not as fun as that sounds. We watched Transcendence (2014), wow this movie can't event decide if AI or Johnny Depp is a bad guy. You'd think people would have an opinion at this point.

Thanks for listening, subscribing, and supporting the show—see you next episode (assuming this one didn’t break us completely).

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Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Alex

Directed by Wally Pfister
Starring: Johnny Depp, Rebecca Hall, Morgan Freeman, Paul Bettany, Lukas Haas, Cillian Murphy, Kate Mara, Cole Hauser, Xander Berkeley, Clifton Collins Jr.

APEX (1994)

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 11:33:48 -0400

This week, Myopia Movies kicks off an AI-themed month by diving straight into the bargain bin with A.P.E.X.—a time-traveling, robot-infested mess that wants desperately to be The Terminator and somehow ends up worse than a Power Rangers outtake.

Nick, Matt, and Keiko try to untangle a plot involving killer robots, alternate timelines, a mystery virus, and a scientist who may or may not be responsible for ending humanity… repeatedly. Along the way, they wrestle with nonsensical time travel rules, questionable acting, baffling production choices, and the lingering question: why are they still sending robots?

Is there a good movie hiding somewhere inside A.P.E.X.? Could a few tweaks have made it work? Or is this just pure, uncut 90s sci-fi chaos?

Plus:

Mockbusters before mockbusters were a thing
The economics of bad CGI vs. hiring actual actors
Nostalgia vs. reality (was this ever good?)
And one of the bleakest conclusions yet: a movie so bad… it barely exists

Final verdict: Skip this and just watch literally anything it’s ripping off.

🎙️ Thanks for listening, subscribing, and supporting the show—see you next episode (assuming this one didn’t break us completely).

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How will APEX (1994) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Alex

Directed by: Phillip J. Roth Starring:

Richard Keats as Nicholas Sinclair
Mitchell Cox as APEX Enforcer
Lisa Ann Russell as Dr. Elara
Adam Lawson as Commander

Super Mario Brothers (1993) Revisited

Thu, 02 Apr 2026 21:05:22 -0400

Welcome back to Myopia Movies, where we revisit the films of our youth and ask the important question:

Were these movies actually good… or were we just children?

And today—Oh boy.

In honor of the release of Super Mario Galaxy, today we are revisiting Super Mario Bros. from 1993.

A film that answers the question no one asked:

“What if a beloved Nintendo property… was filtered through cyberpunk dystopia, industrial sludge, and Goombas that look like they escaped a low-budget episode of Doctor Who?”

How will Super Mario Brothers (1993) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Jeremy

Directed by:
Rocky Morton & Annabel Jankel

Starring:
Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Mathis, Fisher Stevens, Richard Edson

Jurassic Park Rebirth (2025)

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 15:06:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch yet another Jurassic Park/World Movie! Who will attempt to act with this idiotic script? Is this the dumbest new dino yet? Was it worth it to save this family? Why do we keep doing this?

Sigh......

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How will Jurassic World Rebirth hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Alex

Directed by Gareth Edwards

Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Rupert Friend, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Ed Skrein

The Electric State

Thu, 19 Mar 2026 15:26:13 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we plug directly into the algorithmic void with one of the most expensive “what happened here?” movies in recent memory: The Electric State (2025).

This is the kind of film that looks incredible in still images—rusted robots, abandoned highways, that eerie retro-future aesthetic—and yet somehow feels completely hollow once it starts moving. It’s all vibes, no voltage. The bones of something interesting are there, but the movie never quite figures out what it wants to be: a heartfelt road story? A dystopian warning? A quirky robot adventure? Yes. And also… not really any of them.

And look, you’ve got Millie Bobby Brown doing everything she can to ground the film, and Chris Pratt doing his usual charm-forward routine. Nobody here is phoning it in. But the script feels like it was assembled by committee, filtered through three different tones, and then sanded down until nothing sharp—or memorable—remains.

Which, in a weird way, makes it perfect for us.

Because this is exactly the kind of movie that should work. The pedigree is there. The budget is there. The source material is there. And yet… here we are.

So grab your neural headset, hop in your broken-down robot companion, and join us as we wander through one of the most visually striking and emotionally confusing movies of the year.

And the best part?

We’re just getting started.

God help us.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

How will The Electric State (2025) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Jeremy

Directed by: Anthony & Joe Russo

Starring:

Millie Bobby Brown

Chris Pratt

Ke Huy Quan

Giancarlo Esposito

Stanley Tucci

War of the Worlds (2025)

Thu, 12 Mar 2026 15:34:23 -0400

“This movie feels like a ChatGPT movie if there’s ever been one.”

This week on Myopia Movies, the gang continues its tour through the worst films of the previous year with 2025’s War of the Worlds—a baffling, screen-filled sci-fi mess that somehow turns an NSA analyst played by Ice Cube into humanity’s last hope. The panel digs into the movie’s strange obsession with surveillance tech, brand-name software, and product placement, while trying to figure out whether the film is pro–surveillance state, anti–surveillance state, or just deeply confused. Along the way, they riff on everything from alien data harvesting and Amazon drones to bad military logic, real-time apocalypse plotting, and a family drama that feels far more creepy than heartfelt. The result is less War of the Worlds and more War of the Windows Tabs.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!
How will War of the Worlds (2025) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Alex, Keiko, Nur

Directed by: Rich Lee

Starring: Ice Cube, Eva Longoria, Clark Gregg, Iman Benson, and Michael O’Neill

Snow White (2025)

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 21:52:48 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we kick off our annual dive into some of the worst movies of the previous year. And we are starting with a real doozy: the live-action 2025 remake of Snow White.

This is one of those films that somehow manages to miss why the original worked in the first place. The charm, the simplicity, the fairy-tale tone—gone. In their place: baffling creative decisions, tonal confusion, and a remake that feels strangely disconnected from the magic of the classic.

And honestly, you almost feel bad for Rachel Zegler, who is clearly trying and probably gives the most earnest performance in the film. Yet she ended up taking the brunt of the blame for the movie’s failure—much of it tied to the controversy surrounding her public comments on Gaza, which turned the film into a culture-war lightning rod before it even hit theaters.

None of that makes the movie better.

But it does make it perfect material for Myopia Movies.

So grab your poisoned apple and join us as we dig into one of the strangest big-budget misfires of the year.

And the best part?
This is only the beginning of the month.

God help us.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will Snow White (2025) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Jeremy

Directed by: Marc Webb

Starring:
Rachel Zegler
Gal Gadot
Andrew Burnap
Ansu Kabia
Martin Klebba

Cruel Intentions

Thu, 26 Feb 2026 14:24:11 -0500

This month we revisit Cruel Intentions, the film that asked, “What if Dangerous Liaisons… but everyone shops at Abercrombie?” Schemes! Staircases! Smirks that could cut glass! Where impossibly wealthy teenagers treat Manhattan like a chessboard and human emotions like a hobby. It’s seduction, manipulation, and dramatic journal entries, all set to the most aggressively 1999 soundtrack imaginable.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will Cruel Intentions hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Candace, Alex

Directed by: Roger Kumble
Starring: Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair, Joshua Jackson, Sean Patrick Thomas

Scream 2

Thu, 19 Feb 2026 12:54:03 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we sharpen the knife and head back to Woodsboro in honor of Scream 7 slashing into theaters. That’s right — we revisited Scream 2, the sequel to a horror classic we genuinely love… and enrolled ourselves in Sequel Class to figure out what went wrong. More meta? Yes. More bodies? Absolutely. Better than the original? Well… let’s just say the killer might not be the only thing chasing diminishing returns.

Was it a worthy follow-up or just another case of sequel syndrome?

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

How did Scream 2 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Jeremy, and Alex

Directed by Wes Craven
Starring: Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jamie Kennedy, Liev Schreiber, Jada Pinkett, Omar Epps, Laurie Metcalf

The Craft

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 09:12:55 -0500

This week as we continue the erotic thrillers month, we get a little witchy. We watched The Craft, the second best Neve Campbell and Skeet Ulrich of 1996, see the previous episode.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will the Craft hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Alex, Jeremy

Directed by Andrew Fleming
Starring: Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, Neve Campbell, Rachel True, Skeet Ulrich, Christine Taylor, Breckin Meyer, Nathaniel Marston, Cliff De Young

Behind the Scenes

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 00:32:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we give you a peak behind the curtains as we try to explain how we do what we do on the podcast and the Cineprov live show. From a veteran, a young gun, and a newbie.

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur and Keiko.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

Congo (Rerelease)

Sun, 08 Feb 2026 19:32:34 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we dig something out of the trash! Not the episode, of course, but the movie! Listen to episode 58 Congo remastered nine years later! Man, we have been doing this too long. Watch CGI Gorillas for no good reason!

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will Congo hold up?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Matt

Directed by Frank Marshall

Starring: Laura Linney, Tim Curry, Dylan Walsh, Ernie Hudson, Grant Heslov, Joe Don Baker, Lola Noh, Mary Ellen Trainor, Jimmy Buffet, Delroy Lindo

Wild Things

Fri, 30 Jan 2026 08:15:59 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we continue our Erotic Thrillers month with the spiciest 27 year old high schoolers you have ever seen! We watched Wild Things, one of the most paused VHS tapes in history.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How did Wild Things hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Alex, and Matthew

Directed by John McNaughton
Starring: Kevin Bacon, Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon, Theresa Russell, Denise Richards, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Robert Wagner, Bill Murray, Carrie Snodgress

Traces of Red

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 15:08:41 -0500

This week we start a slew of Erotic Thrillers with the first name you think of when you think erotic and thriller, Jim Belushi. We watched Traces of Red! A trashy movie set in the swamps of Florida.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will Traces of Red hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy, Matt

Directed by Andy Wolk
Starring Jim Belushi, Lorraine Bracco, Tony Goldwyn, Jim Piddock, William Russ, Faye Grant

Con Air

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 14:04:25 -0500

Hey everybody, welcome back to Myopia Movies.

This week we’re tackling an action-silly Nicolas Cage classic: Con Air. And honestly—if you’ve never seen it before, I almost want to tell you to stop and watch it first… but our discussion is good enough that you’ll survive either way.

Fair warning: this episode got chaotic. So chaotic, in fact, that our newly married editor and panelist, Nur Chernnet, had to cut nearly 15 minutes of material. We went completely off the rails. What you’re hearing is the best of what survived. We hope you enjoy the wreckage.

As always, keep listening, keep subscribing—and now for some big news.

If you’re listening to this when it drops (mid-January 2026) and you’re in the Metro Atlanta area, make sure you follow CineProv on Facebook. At the end of the month—the final Wednesday—we’re launching a brand-new regular CineProv show. Even better, Keiko and Jeremy, two members of the Myopia crew, will be debuting their first show that night. Go support them. It’s going to be great.

One last thing: attached to this episode is a link to our Amazon Wish List. If you pick a movie from the list, not only will we cover it on the podcast (thank you for the support!), but we’ll also record an exclusive, personalized riff just for you—attached to a DVD so you can watch us tear into the movie specifically in your honor.

Check it out, see if anything grabs you, and as always—thanks for listening.

How will Con Air hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Candace, Jeremy

Directed by Simon West
Starring: Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Colm Meaney, Mykelti Williamson, Nick Chinlund, Renoly Santiago, Ving Rhames, Dave Chappelle, Rachel Ticotin, Steve Eastin, Steve Buscemi, Danny Trejo, M.C. Gainey

Mitchell

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 14:35:18 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn a valuable cinematic lesson: you can be absolutely slovenly and still be the hero of a movie.

We watched Mitchell. Yes, that Joe Don Baker vehicle, where our rumpled, sweat-soaked protagonist somehow gets the girl… and then has her arrested for prostitution.

Chivalry is dead, folks. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

How will Mitchell hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy

We are both riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!!

Directed by Andrew V. McLaglen
Starring: Joe Don Baker, Martin Balsam, John Saxon, Linda Evans

Doom (2005)

Fri, 02 Jan 2026 11:14:39 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies we celebrate the New Year with a movie set in that very year, I am about as optimistic about this year as the title of the film. We watched Doom, a terrifying portent of things to come.

How will DOOM hold up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Keiko

Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak
Starring: Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike, Dwayne The Rock Johnson, DeObia Oparei, Ben Daniels

Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list! https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/3FN64UXVJTOEH?ref_=wl_share

Ernest Saves Christmas

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 20:59:39 -0500

Enjoy this early Christmas Present! This week on Myopia Movies, someone needs to save Christmas and we know just the corporate spokesman, know-what-I-mean? We watched Ernest Saves Christmas, Animal Control and Air Traffic Control in the same film?!?!?! Vern...

How will Ernest Saves Christmas hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren and Jeremy

Directed by John R. Cherry III
Starring: Jim Varney, Douglas Seale, Oliver Clark, Noelle Parker, Gailard Sartain, Billie Bird, Robert Lesser

Avatar

Thu, 18 Dec 2025 15:52:27 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we watched the classic story where an outsider falls in love with an indigenous person and tries to protect them and their land. Ok, not Pocahontas, no, not Ferngully. Ok, not original, but valuable property that somehow earned itself a land in Disney World and now has four sequels coming out, including one this weekend. We watched Avatar, where large cat people have intercourse with trees via their ponytail. Well done, Jim Cameron. Well done.

How will Avatar hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko

Directed by: James Cameron

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Michelle Rodriguez, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel David Moore

Eight Crazy Nights

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 14:55:36 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch an entire town kick around a illiterate little person for 75 minutes. We watched Eight Crazy Nights, we tried to keep it festive, but Adam Sandler giving a TBI to the protagonist after the musical number about how great the mall is, was the best we could do. Happy Hanukah!

How will Eight Crazy Nights hold up?

Directed by Seth Kearsley
Starring: Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Jackie Sandler, Austin Stout, Kevin Nealon, Norm Crosby, Jon Lovitz, Tyra Banks

Jingle all the Way

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 13:24:48 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a millennial Christmas Classic, Jingle All The Way! Bathe in the 1990s nostalgia as we visit trampling people for toys, malls, and toy stores. Also, Phil Hartman's masterclass on seducing a woman away from Arnold.

How will Jingle All The Way hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Nur, Candice, Matthew, and Jeremy

Directed by Brian Levant
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Phil Hartman, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad, Martin Mull, Jake Lloyd, Jim Belushi

Man of Steel

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 13:19:47 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn how the world became entranced with Henry Cavill and started to fall out with Zack Snyder. We watched Man of Steel home to the world's most vindictive Pa Kent and the one where Superman kills thousands in his final fight.

Happy Thanksgiving from us at Myopia and safe shopping and travels today!

How will Man of Steel hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur, Alex

Directed by Zack Snyder
Starring Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Diane Lane, Russell Crowe, Antje Traue, Harry Lennix, Richard Schiff, Christopher Meloni, Kevin Costner, Ayelet Zurer, Laurence Fishburne

Return to Oz

Thu, 20 Nov 2025 15:18:06 -0500

First, take a beloved musical from the 1930s and let it age on a shelf for forty-plus years.

Second, strip out all the songs.

Third, turn it into a waking nightmare.

This week on Myopia Movies, we dove into Return to Oz! Isn’t it delightful when Creepy Kids Month syncs perfectly with a blockbuster release like Wicked: For Good? Though honestly…this movie might be memorable for entirely different reasons. Not good ones—just…reasons.

How will Return to Oz hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Alex, Keiko

Directed by: Walter Murch

Starring: Fairuza Balk, Nicol Williamson, Jean Marsh, Piper Laurie, Matt Clark, Michael Sundin, Tim Rose, Sean Barrett, Mak Wilson, Brian Henson

The Ring (2002, USA)

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 15:15:31 -0500

"Like no one has ever been, like, aroused by close up magic, right? You're just like, ah, wow. That was my card. My God, where did that ball go? Who knows? Can I just pay for my, like, mozzarella sticks" - Nic

This week, Myopia Movies continue Creepy Kid Movie Month with The Ring — the iconic, blue-green, early-2000s mood piece that taught us two essential truths: never trust a VHS tape without a label, and if a horse looks at you funny on a ferry… just walk away.

We dive into Gore Verbinski’s eerie remake, the very specific shade of Pacific Northwest Depression Filter™, Naomi Watts’ crusade against cursed media, and the seven-day slow decline of a family held together mostly by caffeine and denial. Along the way, the panel examines horse suicides, VHS nostalgia, Pacific Northwest lighthouses, creepy kids named Aiden, and the logistics of a ghost girl committing long-distance murder through a Zenith television.

Support Myopia Movies in a New Way! We’ve launched an Amazon Wish List filled with movies we want to riff—but here’s the twist: the titles are anonymous. You won’t know which Myopia host picked them!

Buy one, and we’ll:
Record an episode on the movie and you tell us anything you want to plug!
We will record a special Myopia Riff of the movie just for you and mail you a copy with the optional riff audio. Sign the case

It’s a mystery grab bag of bad movies, nostalgia, and chaos—our favorite combo. Check out the list and help us pick our next cinematic adventure!
How will The Ring hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Alex, Matthew

Directed by Gore Verbinski
Starring: Naomi Watts, Martin Henderson, David Dorfman, Brian Cox, Jane Alexander, Lindsay Frost, Amber Tamblyn

The Good Son

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 11:29:29 -0500

This week we learn who is creepier, Macaulay Culkin who murdered one and a half siblings or Elijah Wood who is convinced that his mom is reincarnated into his aunt. We watched The Good Son. Ok, so the corpse highway car accident might be the greatest thing put to film and my favorite sentence I have gotten to write.

How will the Good Son hold up?

Directed by Joseph Ruben
Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Elijah Wood, Wendy Crewson, David Morse, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Jacqueline Brookes, Quinn Culkin

The Omen (1976)

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 12:40:46 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we seamlessly transition from Horror into our next month based around creepy kids. We watched The Omen (1976), the movie that forever made the name Damien creepy.

How will The Omen (1976) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Matthew, Nur

Directed by Richard Donner
Starring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Harvey Stephens, Patrick Troughton, Martin Benson

Th13rteen Ghosts (2001)

Thu, 23 Oct 2025 12:18:09 -0400

What happens when you do reshoots on 9/11, cast a character so embarrassed by her role she’s mistaken for a porn star, and give Tony Shalhoub a dramatic lead after turning a comedy into a thriller? You get this beautiful mess. This week on Myopia Movies, we watched Thir13en Ghosts (2001) — because apparently, hiring Matthew Lillard to fight ghosts without Scooby-Doo was the real horror.

How will Thir13en Ghosts (2001) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Charlie, Matthew

Directed by Steve Beck
Starring: Tony Shalhoub, Embeth Davidtz, Matthew Lillard, Shannon Elizabeth, Alec Roberts, JR Bourne, Rah Digga, F. Murray Abraham, Matthew Harrison

Cujo (1983)

Thu, 16 Oct 2025 13:52:43 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we return to King Country and deal with rabies, domestic violence, and the used car market. We watched Cujo (1983), a reminder to why you never sleep with the handyman.

How will Cujo (1983) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur

Directed by Lewis Teague
Starring: Dee Wallace, Danny Pintauro, Daniel Hugh Kelly, Christopher Stone, Ed Lauter

The Terminator

Thu, 09 Oct 2025 11:27:40 -0400

The is week on Myopia Movies, we went to the Jason Voorhees-esque horror movie that started it all, we watched The Terminator. Are you Sarah Connor?

How will The Terminator hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Matt, Keiko.

Directed by James Cameron

Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Michael Biehn, Paul Winfield, Lance Henriksen, Rick Rossovich, Earl Boen, Dick Miller, Bill Paxton, Brian Thompson

The Birdcage

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 13:02:17 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate Atlanta Pride with The Birdcage! Welcome back to the show to the hairiest man that Hollywood could contain, with an added mustache! Who was the better man in drag, Nathan Lane or Robin Williams?

How does The Birdcage hold up?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Charlie, Nur, Alex

Freddy vs Jason

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 14:32:50 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we couldn't wait any longer so we are starting our Horror Month a week early...and it may even stay on a bit longer! We watched Freddy vs Jason, to borrow a slogan from the Alien vs Predator movies as a review, "who ever wins, we, the audience, loses."

How will Freddy vs Jason hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Nur

Directed by Ronny Yu
Starring: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Monica Keena, Jason Ritter, Katharine Isabelle

Blown Away

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 12:40:44 -0400

The week on Myopia Movies, we fight the IRA. Represented by and speaking in Celtic by Tommy Lee Jones. We watched Blown Away! Who can stop them? Only Jeff Bridges (the Dude) and the President (his dad Lloyd Bridges). You may be asking yourself, who explodes? So many people!

How will Blown Away hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko

Directed by Stephen Hopkin
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Tommy Lee Jones, Suzy Amis, Lloyd Bridges, Forest Whitaker, Stephi Lineburg, John Finn

Enemy Mine

Thu, 11 Sep 2025 00:20:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies we study abroad! By that I mean we eat weird food, learn another language, and begrudgingly befriend our host family. We watched Enemy Mine, a big budget Star Trek episode starring Dennis Quaid.

How will Enemy Mine hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko and Matthew

Uncle Buck

Thu, 04 Sep 2025 14:37:49 -0400

This week we eat some giant pancakes with some annoying children. We watched Uncle Buck, there just ain't enough John Candy out there. RIP.

How will Uncle Buck hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Alex, Candace

Directed by John Hughes
Starring: John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Louisa Kelly, Gaby Hoffmann, Amy Madigan, Elaine Bromka, Garrett M. Brown, Laurie Metcalf, Jay Underwood, Brian Tarantina,
Mike Starr

Napoleon Dynamite

Thu, 28 Aug 2025 11:17:27 -0400

This week we dust off our Rex-Kwon-Do and sweet nunchuck skills while we eat our pocket tots. We watched Napoleon Dynamite, because we do whatever we feel like we wanna do. Gosh! 2004's most quoted movie.

How will Napoleon Dynamite hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Candace, Alex, Charlie

Directed by Jared Hess
Starring: Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez, Jon Gries, Aaron Ruell, Diedrich Bader, Tina Majorino, Sandy Martin, Haylie Duff

Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 15:08:04 -0400

This week we lose our Zords, but no worries, its always in the last place you look....We watched Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (1995), oozing for 30 years.

How will Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (1995) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Keiko

Directed by Bryan Spicer
Starring: Karan Ashley, Johnny Yong Bosch, Steve Cardenas, Jason David Frank, Amy Jo Johnson, David Yost, Paul Schrier, Jason Narvy, Paul Freeman, Gabrielle Fitzpatrick,
Nicholas Bell, Peta-Marie Rixon, Jean Paul Bell, Kerry Casey, Mark Ginther, Julia Cortez

The Sandlot

Thu, 14 Aug 2025 11:49:43 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we indulge the dog days of summer with a visit to The Sandlot. This is the first time I noticed the puppet, the terrifying terrifying puppet.

How will The Sandlot hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Alex, Matt

Directed by David Mickey Evans

Starring: Tom Guiry, Mike Vitar, Art LaFleur, Patrick Renna, Denis Leary, Karen Allen, James Earl Jones, Marley Shelton.

Road House (1989) Revisited

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 18:32:28 -0400

This week we revisit the Double Deuce and revisit Road House, a delightful film and cast.

How will Road House hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matt, Alex

Directed by Rowdy Herrington

Starring: Patrick Swayze, Ben Gazzara, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott

Superman 4: The Quest for Peace

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 18:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia, we realize why the Superman franchise went dormant for nearly two decades, we watched Superman IV: The Quest for Peace...why. I mean....Nuclear Man alone...our shortest episode in years....sorry, not sorry.

How will Superman 4: The Quest for Peace hold up? Spoilers, poorly.

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Nur

Directed by Sidney J. Furie
Starring: Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder, Jackie Cooper, Marc McClure, Jon Cryer, Sam Wanamaker, Mark Pillow, Mariel Hemingway, Jim Broadbent

Fantastic Four (2015)

Thu, 24 Jul 2025 22:40:00 -0400

In honor of the release of the new Pedro Pascal Fantastic Four: First Steps, we interrupt our Super Month with a special release! This week on Myopia Movies, we manage to find something even dumber than getting hit with cosmic rays in space—and that’s saying something. We’re diving headfirst into the joyless, gloomy void that is Josh Trank’s 2015 Fantastic Four or as we kept calling it Fant-4-stick. It’s not just a bad superhero movie—it’s a bleak, baffling mess that somehow makes stretchy limbs, fire powers, and teleportation feel like a chore. Buckle up as we unpack the film that redefined the phrase "fantastic failure."

How will Fantastic Four (2015) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur and Keiko

Directed by Josh Trank
Starring: Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B. Jordan, Jamie Bell, Toby Kebbell, Reg E. Cathey, Tim Blake Nelson, Joshua Montes,
Dan Castellaneta, Chet Hanks, Tim Heidecker

Superman 3 (1983)

Thu, 17 Jul 2025 18:56:10 -0400

This month we continue our Superman rewatch and visit a chaotic Richard Pryor movie. In this episode of Myopia: The Podcast, we dive into the much-maligned Superman 3 (1983), a film that takes the Man of Steel in some bizarre new directions. From Richard Pryor's unexpected comedic role to the weird, campy tone that sets it apart from its predecessors, we break down why Superman 3 is often seen as a quirky misstep in the franchise. Is it as bad as its reputation suggests, or is there something surprisingly endearing about this oddball sequel? Join us as we talk about the strange balance of comedy and heroism, the infamous computer scene, and why Superman 3 remains a unique chapter in Superman's cinematic history. Strap in for a wild ride of nostalgia, critique, and maybe even a little admiration for this super-powered oddity!

How will Superman 3 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Keiko, Alex

Directed by: Richard Lester
Starring: Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Margot Kidder, Annette O'Toole, Jackie Cooper, Pamela Stephenson, Robert Vaughn

Superman II (1980)

Sat, 12 Jul 2025 00:23:00 -0400

In honor of the James Gunn Superman, we continue our Supermonth! This week on Myopia Movies, we leap tall plot holes in a single bound and confront the chaos of Superman II (1980)—a sequel caught in a tug-of-war between two directors, studio meddling, and a trio of space fascists in disco pajamas. We ask: Does the Man of Steel’s second outing still soar, or does it crash under the weight of tonal whiplash, questionable powers, and a very random kiss of forgetfulness?

Join us as we revisit the strange saga behind the scenes, mourn the Donner cut that could have been, and try to figure out how cellophane chest symbols became an acceptable weapon.

Tune in, or kneel before Zod.

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How will Superman II (1980) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Matthew

Directed by: Richard Lester – after Richard Donner was fired

Starring: Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Terence Stamp, Sarah Douglas

Superman (1978)

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 15:49:00 -0400

Welcome to Season 12! In honor of the new James Gunn movie, we are covering the classic, vintage, 1978 Superman movie starring Christopher Reeves. So this week on Myopia Movies, we see that Scooby-Doo is right. Every land developer truly is an evil land developer.

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PS Sorry we were late this week, we will try to have two up to make up for it!

How will Superman hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Nur

Directed by Richard Donner
Starring: Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, Marlon Brando, Ned Beatty, Jackie Cooper, Glenn Ford, Trevor Howard,
Jack O'Halloran, Terence Stamp

Skyfall

Thu, 26 Jun 2025 00:48:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we bathe in the waters that are James Bond, starting with a kickass classic sounding Bond song and ending with Home Alone. We watched the last great Bond film, Skyfall, which doubles as the greatest M movies. This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly.

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How will Skyfall hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Matt

Directed by Sam Mendes

Starring: Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Judi Dench, Ralph Fiennes, Naomie Harris, Bérénice Marlohe, Ben Whishaw, Albert Finney, Rory Kinnear

Enter the Dragon

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 00:48:00 -0400

This week we check to see how good the kung fu is of the man who hunted down Freddy Krueger. We watched the masterpiece that is Enter the Dragon. If this doesn't get your blood pumping, you may already be dead. This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly.

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How will Enter the Dragon hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Matthew

Directed by Robert Clouse

Starring: Bruce Lee, John Saxon, Jim Kelly, Ahna Capri, Shih Kien, Bob Wall, Angela Mao, Bolo Yeung, Geoffrey Weeks

The Thomas Crown Affair

Thu, 12 Jun 2025 00:48:00 -0400

This week we can't get enough of a saucy Irishman. We watched The Thomas Crown Affair (1999)...the Bond movie, he stepped away from James Bond to do...or was that the Taylor of Panama....or The Matador....sorry, I was getting lost in his eyes. This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly.

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How will The Thomas Crown Affair hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Matt, Daniel

Directed by John McTiernan
Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Rene Russo, Denis Leary, Ben Gazzara, Frankie Faison, Fritz Weaver, Charles Keating, Mark Margolis, Faye Dunaway

The 13th Warrior

Thu, 05 Jun 2025 00:48:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, Antonio Banderas plays a muslim explorer discovering Vikings...yup. We watched The 13th Warrior, based on the much better titled Michael Crichton book, The Eaters of the Dead. This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly.

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How will the 13th Warrior hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Madison

Directed by John McTiernan
Starring: Antonio Banderas, Diane Venora, Dennis Storhøi, Vladimir Kulich, Omar Sharif, Anders T. Andersen

The 39 Steps

Thu, 29 May 2025 00:48:00 -0400

This week we finish our Alfred Hitchcock month with the oldest movie we have ever covered, we talk the 39 Steps, the 40th, of course, is acceptance. This is a dusting off of an old, behind the Patreon Paywall episode, so be kind about the fact that my voice has aged terribly.

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How will The 39 Steps hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Matt, Jeremy

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock
Starring: Robert Donat, Madeleine Carroll, Lucie Mannheim, Godfrey Tearle, Peggy Ashcroft, John Laurie

Rear Window

Thu, 22 May 2025 00:03:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we practice lockdown procedures, we watched the movie Rear Window, the inspiration for NextDoor.

How will Rear Window hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Matthew

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Starring: James Stewart, Grace Kelly, Wendell Corey, Thelma Ritter, Raymond Burr, Judith Evelyn, Ross Bagdasarian

North by Northwest

Thu, 15 May 2025 00:26:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we are forced to drink a pint of whiskey because of mistaken identity; if the identity was correct it would have been a quart. We watched North by Northwest. Hitch's love letter to the vastness of America.

How will North by Northwest hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Matthew

Starring: Cary Grant, Eva Marie Saint, James Mason, Jessie Royce Landis, Leo G. Carroll, Josephine Hutchinson, Philip Ober, Martin Landau, Adam Williams, Edward Platt

Vertigo

Thu, 08 May 2025 00:19:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies,we step onto the ledge of cinematic obsession with Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo — a film that turns love, identity, and acrophobia into an existential spiral. Jimmy Stewart plays a retired detective with a fear of heights and a talent for projection, and Kim Novak plays… well, let’s just say she plays a lot.

Is this 1958 classic still a mesmerizing masterpiece of psychological suspense, or is it just Hitchcock working out his therapy sessions on-screen? Does the dream logic and slow-burn pacing hold up in an era of TikTok attention spans? Or does it collapse under the weight of its own neuroses?

Strap in, stare down from that bell tower, and try not to fall — as we put Vertigo to the test of time. Did it hold up, or were our memories just spinning?

How will Vertigo hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Alex, Keiko

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Starring: James Stewart, Kim Novak, Barbara Bel Geddes, Tom Helmore, Henry Jones, Raymond Bailey

Psycho (1960)

Fri, 02 May 2025 09:11:16 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies we learn why I only take bubble baths, we start our Alfred Hitchcock Month with Psycho! The reason I only stay at Holiday Inn Express.

How will Psycho hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Matthew, Keiko

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

Starring: Anthony Perkins, Vera Miles, John Gavin, Martin Balsam, and Janet Leigh

Ultraviolet

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 13:44:36 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, not even a vicious stomach virus can keep me from releasing an episode on a movie that, appropriately enough, feels like a vicious stomach virus. We watched Ultraviolet, a movie appropriately named because it should not be seen with the naked eye.

How will Ultraviolet hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur

Directed by Kurt Wimmer
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, William Fichtner, Sebastien Andrieu, Ida Martin

Pacific Rim

Fri, 18 Apr 2025 09:14:10 -0400

The week we see Charlie Day and giant monsters, which is all pretty sweet. We watched Pacific Rim a movie set in 2025, which if it came true may still not be top headlines in the real 2025.

How will Pacific Rim hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Keiko, Alex

Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Ron Perlman, Burn Gorman

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Thu, 10 Apr 2025 00:12:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, it’s suddenly Seymour—and Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, Frank Oz, and one giant, man-eating plant. We dove into Little Shop of Horrors, the cult musical that made us fear dentists, question florists, and hum along while the world burns. Somebody feed me... Seymour!

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How will Little Shop of Horrors (1986) hold up?
Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Alex, Keiko, Charlie

Directed by: Frank Oz
Starring: Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, Steve Martin, Vincent Gardenia, Levi Stubbs, James Belushi

Arachnophobia

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 00:41:00 -0400

This week we get alllllll creepy crawly. We watched Arachnophobia, another movie, like almost all movies, that doesn't have nearly enough John Goodman!

“Before Eight-Legged Freaks made spiders scream-worthy and before Jeff Daniels became America’s favorite newsroom anchor, there was Arachnophobia—the movie that turned every shoe, vacuum, and rolled-up newspaper into a weapon of survival.

This week on Myopia Movies, we crawl back to 1990 to face our fears—literally—with a horror-comedy that dares to ask: what if your quaint small town was overrun by an army of venomous spiders with a taste for blood… and interior design?

Is it scary? Is it silly? Is it the Jaws of the jungle gym set? Let’s put it to the test as we examine toxic masculinity, arachnid-based paranoia, and John Goodman as a pest control cowboy who deserves his own franchise.

So shake out your shoes, check the corners of your room, and join us for Arachnophobia—a movie that proves once and for all: nature is coming for us… one creepy leg at a time.”

How will Arachnophobia hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Keiko, Matt, Alex

Directed by Frank Marshall
Starring: Jeff Daniels, Julian Sands, Harley Jane Kozak, John Goodman

Borderlands (2024)

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 00:39:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movie, we complete our worst of the previous year month with a movie that no one wanted, and no one liked, we saw Borderlands, a movie that not only lost $114 million of a $145 million budget (excluding advertising), it was delayed for three years and this was still the best they could come up with.

How will Borderlands hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Alex

Directed by Eli Roth
Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Edgar Ramírez, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ariana Greenblatt, Florian Munteanu, Janina Gavankar, Jack Black, Benjamin Byron Davis, Olivier Richters, Gina Gershon

Argylle

Thu, 20 Mar 2025 00:50:00 -0400

This week we continue the Worst of the Previous Year for Oscars Month and are baffled by a stupid movie, whose book is somehow worse. We watched Argylle, the worse the script, the dumber the lie.

How will Argylle hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Zack

Directed by Matthew Vaughn
Starring: Henry Cavill, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O'Hara, Daniel Singh, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Richard E. Grant, John Cena

Madame Web

Fri, 14 Mar 2025 16:47:48 -0400

Welcome to Myopia Movies, where this week, we watched Madame Web, Sony’s latest attempt to prove you can make a Spider-Man movie without Spider-Man—or a plot, or logic, or an audience.

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How will Madame Web hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Keiko, Matthew

Directed by S.J. Clarkson

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O'Connor, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts, Adam Scott

Megalopolis (2024)

Thu, 06 Mar 2025 00:58:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of the Academy Awards this week, we are covering some of the worst, weirdest, and biggest disasters of the previous year. This week we start with Francis Ford Coppola's vivid, but baffling 'Fable' Megalopolis. We're all going to the cluuuuuubbbbbb!

How will Megalopolis hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Alex, Matthew, Keiko

Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola

Starring: Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposito, Nathalie Emmanuel, Aubrey Plaza, Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight, Laurence Fishburne, Talia Shire, Jason Schwartzman, Kathryn Hunter, Grace VanderWaal, Chloe Fineman, James Remar, D.B. Sweeney, Balthazar Getty

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 00:48:00 -0500

Welcome to Myopia Movies, after that brief diversion to celebrate 500 episodes, we turned to Robin Hood: Men in Tights, I mean, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I guess American Robin Hoods don't even need to try accents...you know what? It is for the best.

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How will Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, Nur, Matt

Directed by Kevin Reynolds
Starring: Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Christian Slater, Alan Rickman, Geraldine McEwan, Michael McShane, Brian Blessed, Michael Wincott

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)

Thu, 20 Feb 2025 00:23:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we’re celebrating a milestone—500 episodes! To honor the journey, we’re going back to a movie that came out just as we were starting and talking about the Turtles. This time, though, we are covering the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, produced by Michael Bay, which came out while we were starting. It’s awful, it’s outrageous, and surprisingly adult for what was a kids’ movie. So, for this special episode, we’re doing something different: a syncable commentary, just like on the old CineProv Patreon. We will count off the film and tell you when to hit play. Whether you’re watching along (it was on Amazon Prime when we recorded) or just listening, we’re here to have fun, make jokes, and share in the absurdity. Thank you for supporting us through 500 episodes—we appreciate you!

How will Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Daniel, Matthew, and Keiko

Directed by Jonathan Liebesman
Starring Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Noel Fisher, Alan Ritchson, Pete Ploszek, Johnny Knoxville, Jeremy Howard, Danny Woodburn, Tony Shalhoub, Tohoru Masamune, Whoopi Goldberg

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 00:46:00 -0500

Happy Valentines Day! That means cheesy rom-coms! This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the danger of print media! We watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, or How to Troll Your Partner. We will talk horrible SOs, ruining basketball, and naming your penis!

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How will How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Matthew, and Keiko

Directed by Donald Petrie

Starring: Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, Adam Goldberg, Kathryn Hahn, Annie Parisse, Thomas Lennon

Look Who's Talking

Thu, 06 Feb 2025 00:25:00 -0500

Welcome to Myopia Movies, where we rewatch the films of our youth to see if they stand the test of time—or if nostalgia was lying to us! This week, we’re diving into 1989’s Look Who’s Talking, the baby-powered comedy that made us all wonder what our infants were really thinking. With John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, and Bruce Willis as the voice of a wisecracking newborn, this movie was a box office hit—but does it still charm in 2024, or is it just baby babble? Strap in your car seats, folks—we’re about to find out!

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How will Look Who's Talking hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Alex, Nur

Ice Pirates

Thu, 30 Jan 2025 00:28:00 -0500

Welcome to Myopia Movies, the podcast where we revisit the films of our youth to see if they hold up under the lens of nostalgia—or crumble under the weight of time! This week, we’re plunging headfirst into the campy chaos of 1984’s Ice Pirates. With space herpes, robot pirates, and a desert-dry water crisis, this sci-fi comedy is equal parts swashbuckling adventure and ‘80s absurdity. But does it still have treasure hidden beneath its dated special effects, or has it been lost in the black hole of bad cinema? Strap in, mateys, and let’s find out!

Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook!

How will Ice Pirates hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Alex, Keiko, and Matt

Directed by Stewart Raffill
Starring: Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak, Ron Perlman, John Carradine, Natalie Core, Jeremy West,
Bruce Vilanch

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 00:07:00 -0500

Welcome back to Myopia Movies the show where we boldly go—wait, wrong franchise—where we dive headfirst into the galaxy far, far away! And today, we’re talking about Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back, the movie that taught us three very important lessons:

1) Always check if someone’s your dad before you start a fight,

2) Tauntauns may smell bad, but they’re lifesavers, and

3) Never kiss your sibling—even if you don’t know they’re your sibling.

That’s right! We’re breaking down the movie where the good guys lose, the bad guys win, and we’re left screaming, ‘LUKE, DON’T DO IT!’ louder than Darth Vader in a parenting seminar. So grab your lightsabers, bundle up for Hoth, and let’s jump into the movie that made us all question our family trees and our ability to trust small green swamp creatures!”

Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook!

This week, we dig deeper into the cold to talk about Star Wars and one of the frostiest beginnings to a movie in cinematic history. We watched Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back! Do you love us? We know....

How will Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren, Nur, Keiko, Matthew

Directed by Irvin Kershner
Starring: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Anthony Daniels, David Prowse, Peter Mayhew, Kenny Baker, Frank Oz, Alec Guinness, Jeremy Bulloch

For Your Eyes Only

Thu, 16 Jan 2025 00:00:00 -0500

This week, in honor of the cold movie month, we hit the slope with James Bond as we dust off the archives and talk For Your Eyes Only! Roger Moore beds a figure skater....classy!

How will For Your Eyes Only hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Daniel, Jon

Directed by John Glen
Starring: Roger Moore, Carole Bouquet, Topol, Lynn-Holly Johnson, Julian Glover, Cassandra Harris, Jill Bennett, Michael Gothard, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn

Vertical Limit

Thu, 09 Jan 2025 12:46:14 -0500

This week on our Cold Movie Month, we climb K2, because it was the style at the time. We watched Vertical Limit! Remember when Chris O'Donnell opened blockbusters? Also, stupid movie, but makes you miss Bill Paxton.

How will Vertical Limit hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur and Matthew

Directed by Martin Campbell
Starring: Scott Glenn, Chris O'Donnell, Bill Paxton, Robin Tunney, Stuart Wilson, Augie Davis, Temuera Morrison, Roshan Seth, Nicholas Lea

The Shining

Sat, 04 Jan 2025 18:19:58 -0500

This week we learn the importance of allowing writers to have alcohol. We watched The Shining, today the line would be "Jimmy Fallon!"

We are starting a month of cold movies.

How will The Shining hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew and Nur

Directed by Stanley Kubrick
Starring:Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone, Joe Turkel

Robin Hood (1973) - Rerelease

Thu, 26 Dec 2024 00:27:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we revisit the best version of Robin Hood since Erroll Flynn, you heard me Crowe, Costner, and Edgerton. Elwes, you're cool. We watched Robin Hood (1973), the originination point for Gen X and Millenial furries.

How will Robin Hood (1973) hold up?

Host: Nic (but much younger sounding).

Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman and David Hand
Starring: Brian Bedford, Phil Harris, Roger Miller, Peter Ustinov, Terry-Thomas,
Monica Evans, Andy Devine, Carole Shelley, Pat Buttram, George Lindsey, Ken Curtis

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 14:53:50 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we fall in love again...with Gaston. We watched Beauty and the Beast, a podcast old as time, set in Disney-cember, and wish that the beast turned back (I think this is what Shrek's ending is about.)

How will Beauty and the Beast hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Candace, Keiko, Matthew, Alex.

Directed by Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise
Starring Paige O'Hara, Robby Benson, Jesse Corti, Rex Everhart, Angela Lansbury, Jerry Orbach, Bradley Pierce, David Ogden Stiers, Richard White, Jo Anne Worley, Mary Kay Bergman

The Little Mermaid (1989)

Thu, 12 Dec 2024 14:30:26 -0500

The week in your Disney-cember stocking, we are visiting the movie that ushered in the Disney Renaissance. We watched The Little Mermaid (1989), where hosts don't reprimand their panel.

Does The Little Mermaid (1989) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Candace, Alex

Directed by Ron Clements and John Musker
Starring: Jodi Benson, Samuel E. Wright, Rene Auberjonois, Christopher Daniel Barnes, Pat Carroll, Paddi Edwards, Buddy Hackett, Kenneth Mars, Edie McClurg

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The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 13:00:30 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies we start our Disney-cember by watching what turned out to be a real argumentative movie. We watched The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, I say you just cut Edmund loose.

How will The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Candace, Nur, Keiko, Alex

Directed by Andrew Adamson
Starring: Tilda Swinton, Georgie Henley, William Moseley, Skandar Keynes, Anna Popplewell, James McAvoy, Jim Broadbent

Trading Mom

Thu, 28 Nov 2024 20:18:10 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we end Keiko-vember and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving as we visit the MILF market...I mean Mommy Market....MOMMY MARKET....only if they call me daddy....We watched Trading Mom! Did you know that Sissy Spacek had this range? From Workaholic Mom to Circus Mom?

How will Trading Mom hold up?

Host: Keiko

Panel: Alex, Nic, Matt, Daniel

Directed by Tia Brelis

Starring: Sissy Spacek, Anna Chlumsky, Aaron Michael Metchik, Asher Metchik, Maureen Stapleton, Merritt Yohnka, André René Roussimoff (as André the Giant)

Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997)

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 13:21:38 -0500

This week on Keiko-vember, we revisit made-for-TV Disney to watch a musical with a stacked cast! We watched Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997), the recordholder for the bestselling video for a made-for-TV movie.

How will Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella (1997) hold up?

Host: Keiko

Panel: Nic, Matt, Alex

Directed by Robert Iscove
Starring: Brandy Norwood, Bernadette Peters, Veanne Cox, Natalie Desselle Reid, Paolo Montalban, Jason Alexander, Whoopi Goldberg, Victor Garber, Whitney Houston

Kazaam

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 12:13:56 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the value of a good sound system. We continue Keiko-vember by diving into the 90s fever dream that is Kazaam. You know, the movie you might’ve confused with Shazam starring Sinbad—if your childhood wasn't this cool. Kazaam is Shaquille O’Neal’s genie extravaganza, blending hip-hop magic and nonsense.

How will Kazaam hold up?

Host: Keiko

Panel: Nic, Matthew, Alex

Directed by Paul Michael Glaser
Starring: Shaquille O'Neal, Francis Capra, Ally Walker, James Acheson, and Mother Love

Sister Act

Thu, 07 Nov 2024 12:35:54 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we have a cameo appearance from the Pope! We watched Sister Act, the best musical numbers by a nun since Airplane!

How will Sister Act hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Nur, Alex

Directed by Emile Ardolino
Starring: Whoopi Goldberg, Maggie Smith, Harvey Keitel, Bill Nunn, Mary Wickes, Kathy Najimy, Wendy Makkena

The Bride of Chucky

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 09:05:47 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies we retire horror month and retire the new creepy theme as we watch a busty woman and then her busty puppet try to seduce another puppet. This is what my life has become. We watched The Bride of Chucky, the only movie with the hard hitting real deal facts about what happens if you don't do the dishes.

How will The Bride of Chucky hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko and Matthew

Directed: Ronnie Yu

Starring: Jennifer Tilly, Brad Dourif, Katherine Heigl, Nick Stabile, Alexis Arquette, Gordon Michael Woolvett, John Ritter, Kathy Najimy

Pitch Black

Thu, 24 Oct 2024 14:28:53 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we pay someone to polish our eyes. We watched Pitch Black, proving that with a few filters even YOU can make a movie!

How will Pitch Black hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur

Directed by David Twohy

Starring: Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser, Vin Diesel, Keith David

Silence of the Lambs

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 10:11:01 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, the host is a big fat person. We watched Silence of the Lambs and we take a cooking lesson! This may be the most awarded film we have talked about in an episode as long as the movie!

How will Silence of the Lambs hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Keiko, and Matthew

Director: Jonathan Demme

Starring: Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn, Ted Levine, Anthony Heald, Charles Napier, Roger Corman, Diane Baker,, Frankie Faison.

Vampire in Brooklyn

Thu, 10 Oct 2024 22:19:55 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, Eddie Murphy sucks. We watched Vampire in Brooklyn, a terrible portent of things to come...like the Klumps.

How will Vampire in Brooklyn hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Alex, Nur, Keiko, Matt

Directed by Wes Craven
Starring Eddie Murphy, Angela Bassett, Allen Payne, Kadeem Hardison, John Witherspoon

Underworld

Thu, 03 Oct 2024 13:54:09 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we get confused at a werewolf movie! We watched Underworld, a movie I would have forgotten if I didn't just listen to us talk about it!

How will Underworld hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Nur, and Matthew

Directed by Len Wiseman.

Starring: Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Michael Sheen, Shane Brolly

Note: There are some audio issues here, sorry!

Hail, Caesar

Thu, 26 Sep 2024 16:52:19 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn a thing or two about Communism. We watched Hail, Caesar, Channing Tatum's musical extravaganza!

How will Hail, Caesar hold up during this Coen Month?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Alex

Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen

Starring: Josh Brolin, George Clooney, Alden Ehrenreich, Ralph Fiennes, Scarlett Johansson, Tilda Swinton, Channing Tatum, Frances McDormand, Jonah Hill, Fisher Stevens, David Krumholtz

Fargo

Thu, 19 Sep 2024 11:05:29 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a midwestern classic, dontcha know. We watched the Coen Brothers coldest movie, Fargo. We did it all for a little bit of money....

How will Fargo hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren and Daniel

Directed by Joel and Ethan Coen

Starring: William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, , Peter Stormare, Harve Presnell, John Carroll Lynch

Replay - Beetlejuice (1988)

Mon, 16 Sep 2024 00:25:00 -0400

In honor of its second week on the top of the charts, we are digging out of the vault the original episode on Beetlejuice from the mind of Tim Burton. I have not seen the new one as of writing this, but suffice to say, I am excited. Enjoy this cleaned up bonus episode!

How will Beetlejuice and this 10 year old episode hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jon, Emily Steve

Directed by Tim Burton
Starring: Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, Michael Keaton, Catherine O'Hara, Jeffrey Jones, Winona Ryder, Glenn Shadix

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Fri, 13 Sep 2024 15:40:57 -0400

This week in Myopia Movies, we have a bit of a musical moment! We watched O Brother, Where Art Thou?, I too am a man of constant sorrow, with knees and a lower back of constant sorrow as well.

How does O Brother, Where Art Thou? hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Matthew, Keiko

Directed by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Starring: George Clooney, John Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, John Goodman, Holly Hunter,
Chris Thomas King, Charles Durning, Michael Badalucco, Ed Gale, Frank Collison

Replay - The Sandlot

Wed, 11 Sep 2024 13:24:56 -0400

In honor of the passing of the late and great James Earl Jones, I have dug out of the old archives the Sandlot and cleaned it up. As our own baseball season is winding down, nice to reminisce about the boys of summer and one of the greatest voices to grace the silver screen.

As an aside, my own voice on this track sounds unrecognizable, yeesh.

How will the Sandlot on this 10 year old episode hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Scott, Billy, Daniel

Directed by David Mickey Evans
Starring: Tom Guiry, Mike Vitar, Art LaFleur, Patrick Renna, Chauncey Leopardi, Marty York, Brandon Quintin Adams, Grant Gelt, Shane Obedzinski, Victor DiMattia, Denis, Karen Allen, and the late great James Earl Jones

Raising Arizona

Thu, 05 Sep 2024 13:28:02 -0400

This week, we learn the tragedy of high prison recidivism. We watched Raising Arizona, Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground!

How will Raising Arizona hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren and Daniel

Directed by: Joel and Ethan Coen

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Holly Hunter, Trey Wilson, John Goodman, William Forsythe, Sam McMurray, Frances McDormand, Randall 'Tex' Cobb

The Big Lebowski

Thu, 29 Aug 2024 16:08:08 -0400

In honor of the long weekend, we start Coen Brothers month early with The Big Lebowski. This week in Myopia Movies, I nearly have a stroke trying to not quote the entirety of the movie.

How will the The Big Lebowski hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Candace, Keiko, and Matthew

Directors: Joel and Ethan Coen

Starring: Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, David Huddleston, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Tara Reid, Mark Pellegrino, Peter Stormare, Flea, John Turturro

Batman (1989)

Thu, 22 Aug 2024 11:22:24 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, you find out that you are my number one guy! We watched Batman (1989), why doesn't Batman dance any more? Remember the Bat-tu-si? Where does he get all those wonderful toys?

How will Batman (1989) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Nur

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Bassinger, Robert Wuhl

Big Trouble in Little China (Revisited)

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 15:36:55 -0400

Welcome to Myopia Movies! This week we revisit a very early episode that I first watched for this show! John Carpenter is in rare form directing this throwback comedy! We watched Big Trouble in Little China!

How will Big Trouble in Little China hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Keiko, Candace, and Matthew

Director: John Carpenter

Starring: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun, James Hong, Victor Wong, Kate Burton

Romeo + Juliet (Revisited)

Thu, 08 Aug 2024 17:56:47 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we buy Sword brand guns! We watched Romeo + Juliet, where the Hawaiian shirts are flowing, Mercutio is recreating Rocky Horror and the music is silly. Where for art thou, Postlethwaite?

How will Romeo + Juliet hold up?

Directed by Baz Luhrmann

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Claire Danes, Brian Dennehy, John Leguizamo, Pete Postlethwaite, Paul Sorvino, Diane Venora, Harold Perrineau

The Mask (Revisited)

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 08:53:34 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate the start of season 11 with a revisited episode of Jim Carrey's the Mask! Somebody, stop us! Please, 11 years is so long for this nonsense!

How will The Mask hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Keiko, Matt, Alex

Directed by Charles Russell

Starring: Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert, Peter Greene, Amy Yasbeck, Richard Jeni, Ben Stein

The Guyver (1991)

Fri, 26 Jul 2024 16:35:44 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we are trying to stay on our feet! This week would be our 10th Anniversary Episode, but we are on vacation with a file issue! I cannot fix it from here, so I am rereleasing the episode from 6 years ago that Matt talks about all the time! Enjoy The Guyver!

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt

Johnny English

Sat, 20 Jul 2024 18:31:09 -0400

This week we watch the British version of Spy Hard, but you know, good. Could've used a "Weird" Al song though....we watched Johnny English!

How will Johnny English hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Daniel

Directed by Peter Howitt

Starring: Rowan Atkinson, John Malkovich, Natalie Imbruglia, Tasha de Vasconcelos, Ben Miller

Casino Royale (1967)

Fri, 12 Jul 2024 09:13:15 -0400

This week watch some classic James Bond, Casino Royale! No, not the good one, the Woody Allen one. You read that right.

How will Casino Royale hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Daniel

Directed by Val Guest, Ken Hughes, John Huston
Starring: Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress, David Niven, Orson Welles, Joanna Pettet, Woody Allen, Deborah Kerr, William Holden

Avengers (1998)

Thu, 04 Jul 2024 20:51:30 -0400

This week we do the Avengers movie everyone thinks of, the one with Ralph Fiennes. We watched The Avengers (1998), man, when Sean Connery does spite, he really nails it.

How will The Avengers (1998) hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Steve, Matthew

Directed by Jeremiah S. Chechik
Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Uma Thurman, Sean Connery, Patrick Macnee, Jim Broadbent, Fiona Shaw, Eddie Izzard

Demolition Man

Thu, 27 Jun 2024 22:03:19 -0400

This week we crack out three seashells and have sex with an Occulus visor. We watched Demolition Man, the movie that shows us the horror of a non-violent society.

How will Demolition Man hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel

Directed by Marco Brambilla
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, Nigel Hawthorne, Benjamin Bratt, Bob Gunton, Glenn Shadix, Denis Leary, Grand L. Bush

Rush Hour 2

Thu, 20 Jun 2024 21:21:09 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we dive into the explosive world of buddy cop chaos with our latest episode on Rush Hour 2. Join us as we unravel the mystery of how Jackie Chan's impeccable martial arts and Chris Tucker's endless chatter somehow make for cinematic gold. We'll explore the finer points of high-kicking action and laugh-out-loud banter, all while questioning why these two keep finding themselves in increasingly ridiculous situations. Spoiler: It's because we love it. Tune in for a whirlwind tour of Hong Kong and Las Vegas that will leave you wondering if you, too, could survive a casino brawl and still have time for a comedy routine.

How will Rush Hour 2 hold up?

Host: Nur

Panel: Nic, Alex, Keiko

The Adventures of Pluto Nash

Thu, 13 Jun 2024 15:08:04 -0400

Welcome back to another episode of "Myopia Movies," where we strap in for the cinematic car crash you can't look away from! This week, we embark on a journey to the lunar land of broken dreams and bad investments with Adventures of Pluto Nash.

Picture this: Eddie Murphy in space. Sounds promising, right? Well, hold onto your moon boots because this isn't the star-studded, sci-fi spectacular you might imagine. Instead, it's a $100 million black hole of comedy that makes you question everything—your taste in movies, your life choices, and even the concept of money itself.

Join us as we dissect the plot—or the lack thereof—of this lunar lunacy, featuring a club owner who dreams of… well, owning a club. From the laughable special effects to the "did-they-really-think-this-was-funny?" dialogue, we'll navigate the rocky terrain of one of Hollywood's most notorious box office bombs.

So, buckle up and prepare for a mission to the dark side of the moon, where the only thing lower than gravity is the bar for comedy. Adventures of Pluto Nash: It's out of this world... and straight into the bargain bin.

How will Adventures of Pluto Nash hold up?

Host: Nur

Panel: Keiko, Nic, Charlie, Daniel

Directed by: Ron Underwood

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Rosario Dawson, Jay Mohr, Randy Quaid, Joe Pantoliano, Luis Guzmán, Peter Boyle, Pam Grier, John Cleese, Alec Baldwin

Dogma

Sat, 08 Jun 2024 11:38:13 -0400

This week we learn why to bless your golf clubs. This week we watch Dogma, schnoogans! Join us as we dive into the irreverent and hilarious world of Kevin Smith's "Dogma"! This week, we dissect the film's blend of divine comedy, theological debates, and pop culture references. From fallen angels to holy bartenders, nothing is sacred as we explore the movie's wit, wisdom, and wackiness. Tune in for a celestial laugh fest where no dogma is left unchallenged!

How will Dogma hold up?

Host: Nur

Panel: Nic, Charlie, Candace.

Directed by: Kevin Smith

Starring: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Linda Fiorentino, Jason Mewes, Chris Rock, Salma Hayek, Alan Rickman, Jason Lee, George Carlin

Unbreakable (2001)

Thu, 30 May 2024 00:59:00 -0400

Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies! This week, we dive into the thrilling, edge-of-your-seat excitement of Unbreakable. Yes, that's right, the 2000 classic where Bruce Willis discovers his superpower: looking perpetually confused and slightly bored.

Join us as we unravel the mystery of how a movie about a guy who can't get hurt manages to hurt our attention spans. We'll discuss Samuel L. Jackson's role as Mr. Glass, a villain whose evil plan involves extensive knowledge of comic books and a truly enviable collection of turtlenecks.

Get ready to break down every slow-motion scene, every cryptic conversation, and every moment you wondered if M. Night Shyamalan was pulling an elaborate prank on all of us. Is Unbreakable a misunderstood masterpiece or just an elaborate exercise in testing your patience? Tune in and find out!

Don't miss it!

How will Unbreakable hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Keiko, Daniel

Director: M. Night Shyamalan

Stars: Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Robin Wright

Xanadu

Thu, 23 May 2024 00:05:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we lace up our roller skates and journey back to the glitter-soaked fever dream that is Xanadu. Join us as we watch Olivia Newton-John and a surprisingly spry Gene Kelly sing and skate their way through a plot so thin you could roller disco right through it. We'll break down the movie's mix of Greek muses, neon lights, and baffling dance numbers, and ask the burning question: Is this a cult classic or just a 96-minute music video that got wildly out of hand? Grab your glow sticks, because this is one trip to Xanadu you won't soon forget.

How will Xanadu hold up?

Host: Charlie Rose

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nic

Director: Robert Greenwald
Starring: Olivia Newton-John, Michael Beck, Gene Kelly, James Sloyan, Dimitra Arliss, Katie Hanley, Fred McCarren, Renn Woods, Sandahl Bergman

Constantine (2005)

Fri, 17 May 2024 09:03:56 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we dive into the dark, brooding, and oh-so-edgy world of Constantine. Marvel as Keanu Reeves chain-smokes his way through a film that somehow mixes theology, horror, and noir into a cocktail of supernatural shenanigans. Join us as we explore why this movie's take on angels and demons is as subtle as a sledgehammer and why it's the cult classic you love to hate—or hate to love.

How will Constantine hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Keiko, Alex, Dan

Directed by: Francis Lawrence

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Tilda Swinton, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Djimon Hounsou, Gavin Rossdale, Peter Stormare

We're Back

Wed, 08 May 2024 14:25:06 -0400

This Week on Myopia Movies: We Dive into the Prehistoric Puzzler, "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story"

Join us as we unearth the cinematic fossil that is "We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story," where the idea of dinosaurs roaming modern New York City is somehow not the most unbelievable part. This week, we're peeling back the layers of this animated onion, revealing that beneath the surface, it's just more onion. Witness the mind-bending reality where dinosaurs wear clothes, eat hot dogs, and avoid existential dread by singing. Bring your paleontology hats and a healthy dose of disbelief, because we're about to find out how a Rex with tiny arms manages more emotional depth than some of our guest stars.

How will We're Back! hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko and Kellie

Directed by Phil Nibbelink, Simon Wells, Dick Zondag
Starring: John Goodman, Charles Fleischer, Blaze Berdahl, Rhea Perlman, Jay Leno, Felicity Kendal, Walter Cronkite, Julia Child, Kenneth Mars, Yeardley Smith, Martin Short

The Rocketeer

Fri, 03 May 2024 19:42:05 -0400

This week we watch Disney's first attempt at a superhero picture, Iron Man fights the Nazi's! We watched The Rocketeer, the movie that shows the dangers of alcohol.

How will The Rocketeer hold up?

Host: Daniel

Panel: Matthew, Lauren, Charlie.

Directed by Joe Johnston

Starring: Billy Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Alan Arkin, Timothy Dalton, Paul Sorvino, Terry O'Quinn, Ed Lauter, James Handy, Robert Miranda, Jon Polito, William Sanderson

Rollerball (2002)

Thu, 25 Apr 2024 16:00:37 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a remake, that was not asked for, not needed, missed the point, but boldly had Night Vision! We watched Rollerball (2002) and saw Rebecca Romjin naked in a PG 13 Movie as the director of Die Hard imagines the horrors of 2005!

How will Rollerball (2002) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Nur

Directed by John McTiernan
Starring: Chris Klein, Jean Reno, LL Cool J, Rebecca Romijn, Naveen Andrews

Mighty Ducks 3

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 14:40:43 -0400

Welcome to Myopia Movies, this week we wish there was mo Emilio! We watched Mighty Ducks 3, the search for more money.

How will Mighty Ducks 3 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Nur, Alex

Pokemon: The First Movie

Sat, 13 Apr 2024 10:35:08 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a family film about dog fighting! We watched Pokemon: The First Movie, a film about GMOs, Euthanasia, and power no children should have.

How will Pokemon: The First Movie hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Alex, Keiko, and Nur

Directed by Kunihiko Yuyama
Starring Veronica Taylor, Rachael Lillis, Eric Stuart, Rica Matsumoto

The NeverEnding Story

Thu, 04 Apr 2024 00:55:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we are traumatized by another movie about flying by the director of Air Force One. Join us for childhood changing moments with The NeverEnding Story!

How will The NeverEnding Story hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Kellie, Jon, Daniel.

Directed by Wolfgang Petersen

Starring: Noah Hathaway, Barret Oliver, Tami Stronach, Gerald McRaney

Mimic (1997)

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 13:38:44 -0400

This week we call the exterminator and do a deep cleaning. We finish Quinntober with the Guillermo del Toro creature feature Mimic (1997). The movie that has makes us afraid of CDC efforts to end malaria.

How will Mimic (1997) hold up?

Host: Matthew

Panel: Nic and Charlie

The Phantom

Thu, 21 Mar 2024 00:13:00 -0400

Welcome by to a Quinntober Episode of Myopia! We are talking about the bespandexed and coweled Indiana Batman knock-off, The Phantom!

How will The Phantom hold up?

Host: Matthew

Panel: Nic and Candace, and Nur(?)

Directed by Simon Wincer
Starring: Billy Zane, Kristy Swanson, Treat Williams, Catherine Zeta-Jones, James Remar, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Patrick McGoohan

The Ghost and the Darkness

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 00:13:00 -0400

This week of Quinntober we join two familiar faces as they shoot lions. We watched The Ghost and the Darkness, the movie where a British white savior isn't enough; you need an American as well.

How will the Ghost and the Darkness hold up?

Host: Matthew

Panel: Nic, Nur, and Candace

Directed by Stephen Hopkins
Starring: Michael Douglas, Val Kilmer, Tom Wilkinson, John Kani

Priest (2011)

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 12:23:19 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, would you look at that, it is Quinntober an entirely Matt Quinn programmed month, so we, of course are starting with a Sci-Fi Fantasy Movie, where priest warrior Paul Bettany fights vampires when the theocratic world government Catholic Church claims they have all been eliminated. Yup...Holy Hell this movie is nuts. Episode 450! Woo!

How will Priest (2011) hold up?

Host: Matthew Quinn

Panel: Nic and Charlie Rose

Directed by Scott Stewart
Starring: Paul Bettany, Cam Gigandet, Maggie Q, Karl Urban, Lily Collins, Brad Dourif, Stephen Moyer, Christopher Plummer

Ghost

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 17:03:39 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies we finish our Romantic Month with a movie directed by one of the Airplane guys. We watched Ghost, the movie where Tony Goldwyn enters the ranks of greatest on-screen deaths.

How will Ghost hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Nur, Keiko

Directed by Jerry Zucker
Starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Whoopi Goldberg, Tony Goldwyn, Vincent Schiavelli, Phil Leeds

Pretty Woman

Thu, 22 Feb 2024 00:46:00 -0500

As we stretch this Romantic Month in to week four, how long is this shortest month, we watch the movie that brought Julia Roberts into our hearts. We saw Pretty Woman, everyone's favorite PG13 movie about prostitution.

How will Pretty Woman hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren, Keiko, Nur

Directed by Garry Marshall
Starring: Richard Gere, Julia Roberts, Jason Alexander, Laura San Giacomo, Ralph Bellamy, Alex Hyde-White, Amy Yasbeck, Elinor Donahue, Hector Elizondo, Judith Baldwin, Hank Azaria

Teen Witch

Thu, 15 Feb 2024 00:08:00 -0500

This week we seduce the man of our dreams using magic, and have no qualms about that. We watched Teen Witch, the lady version of Teen Wolf!

How will Teen Witch hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Lauren, Nur

Directed by Dorian Walker
Starring: Robyn Lively, Dan Gauthier, Joshua John Miller, Caren Kaye, Dick Sargent, Zelda Rubinstein

Legend (1985)

Thu, 08 Feb 2024 00:21:00 -0500

This week we find Tim Curry terrifying and erotic, like most weeks. We watched Legend (1985), a friend pointed out that Tom Cruise's teeth don't line up in this film. I noticed it. I can't stop noticing it. Turns out, he needed to get rid of them thetans.

How will Legend (1985) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Madison, Matthew, Keiko

Directed by Ridley Scott
Starring: Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Billy Barty, Robert Picardo

Flashdance

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 13:07:08 -0500

This week we give up our construction job to go full into our dancing hobby, we watched Flashdance another movie with a vague boyfriend named Nick.

How will Flashdance hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren, Keiko and Nur

Directed by Adrian Lyne
Starring Jennifer Beals, Michael Nouri, Lilia Skala, Sunny Johnson, Kyle T. Heffnerm, Lee Ving

Back to the Future

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 11:19:02 -0500

This week in Myopia Movies, we watch the horniest time travel movie this side of Cinemax. To round out my month of selections we go back in time with Back to the Future.

How will Back to the Future hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Nur, and Candace

Directed by Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover, Tom Wilson, Claudia Wells, Marc McClure, Wendie Jo Sperber, James Tolkan, Billy Zane

Jaws (1975)

Thu, 18 Jan 2024 21:30:43 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we keep open the beaches. We continue Hoffmannia by watching Jaws, a reminder of the time I screamed at the beach after stepping on a sea nettle.

How will Jaws hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Nur, Keiko

Directed by Steven Spielberg
Starring Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Lorraine Gary, Murray Hamilton, Carl Gottlieb

Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Thu, 11 Jan 2024 22:07:44 -0500

This week on another Hoffmanniac Month episode, you stick with us, because you want to live. We watched Terminator 2: Judgement Day, asta la vista, baby.

Also, welcome Nur to the Cineprov Family!

How will Terminator 2: Judgement Day hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Charlie, Matthew.

Directed by James Cameron
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick, Earl Boen, Joe Morton, Danny Cooksey, Xander Berkeley

Star Trek: Generations

Thu, 04 Jan 2024 15:41:57 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we start Hofftober Month and enter the Nexus! We watched Star Trek: Generations, one more Christmas movie this season. Yes, I curated the whole month, and yes Star Trek is fantastic.

How will Star Trek: Generations hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Nur, and Keiko.

Directed by David Carson
Starring Patrick Stewart, William Shatner, Malcolm McDowell, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden, Marina Sirtis, James Doohan, Walter Koenig, Alan Ruck

Silent Night, Deadly Night

Thu, 28 Dec 2023 14:05:31 -0500

This week we visit the most depressing company Christmas Party in Cinema history. We watched Silent Night, Deadly Night, Bambi's revenge!

How will Silent Night, Deadly Night hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, and Charlie

Directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr.
Starring Lilyan Chauvin, Gilmer McCormick, Toni Nero, Robert Brian Wilson

Miracle on 34th Street

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 17:20:53 -0500

This week, with Christmas rapidly approaching, we revisit John Hughes' tight legal drama. We learn where John Hammond hid after Jurassic Park, we watched Miracle on 34th Street!

How will Miracle on 34th Street hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko and Nur

Directed by Les Mayfield
Written by Valentine Davies, George Seaton, John Hughes
Starring Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Dylan McDermott, J.T. Walsh, James Remar, Jane Leeves, Simon Jones, William Windom, Mara Wilson, Robert Prosky

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Year without a Santa Claus

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 00:17:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn it is ok to be a dentist. We splurge and watch two classic Rankin and Bass Shorts! We watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Year without a Santa Claus, ground zero for the classic holiday characters Yukon Cornelius, The Bumble, Snow Miser and Heat Miser, and an elf who wants to be a dentist! Watch the puppet magic of the Charlie in a box and it snowing in South town!

How will Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and The Year without a Santa Claus hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko and Candace

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Directed by Larry Roemer
Starring: Billie Mae Richards, Burl Ives, Larry D. Mann, and the world's most ornory Santa Claus

The Year without a Santa Claus

Directed by Jules Bass and Arthur Rankin Jr.
Starring: Shirley Booth, Mickey Rooney, Dick Shawn, George S. Irving

Home Alone 3

Thu, 07 Dec 2023 13:42:24 -0500

This week we fight the bad guys and defend our home! We watched Home Alone 3, the first one that isn't a classic.

How will Home Alone 3 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko and Candace

Directed by Raja Gosnell
Writen by John Hughes
Starring Alex D. Linz, Olek Krupa, Rya Kihlstedt, Lenny von Dohlen

Rad (1986)

Thu, 30 Nov 2023 00:37:00 -0500

Grab your BMX, this is about to get EXTREME! We watched the 1980s cult classic Rad! Directed by the stunt man behind Smokey and the Bandit.

How will Rad hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur

Directed by Hal Needham
Starring: Bart Conner, Lori Loughlin, Talia Shire, Ray Walston, Alfie Wise

Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King

Thu, 23 Nov 2023 14:47:08 -0500

This week we finish the epic film franchise that is perfect for when the turkey has you glued to the couch. We watched the Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King, All this stuffing is so heavy, Sam. Our most awarded and gayest movie to date!

How will Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Madison, and Matthew

Directed by Peter Jackson
Starring: Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, Orlando Bloom, Billy Boyd, Ian Holm, Ian McKellen, Bret McKenzie, Dominic Monaghan, Viggo Mortensen, John Noble, Miranda Otto, John Rhys-Davies, Andy Serkis, Liv Tyler, Karl Urban, Hugo Weaving, David Wenham, Elijah Wood

True Lies

Thu, 16 Nov 2023 00:19:00 -0500

This week we visit Arnie, Tommy, and Jimmy as we make an American Austrian Bond Movie. We watched True Lies and trick our wives to do a sexy dance.

How will True Lies hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic and Christine

Directed by James Cameron
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, Tia Carrere, Art Malik, Eliza Dushku, Grant Heslov, Marshall Manesh

The 6th Day

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 00:45:00 -0500

This week we return to Arnold! And guess what, not one, but two Arnolds! We watched The 6th Day, and we eat your birthday cake!

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Nur, Matthew

How will The Sixth Day hold up?

Directed by Roger Spottiswoode
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Rapaport, Tony Goldwyn, Michael Rooker, Sarah Wynter, Wendy Crewson, Rodney Rowland, Terry Crews, Ken Pogue, Colin Cunningham, Robert Duvall, Wanda Cannon

Carrie (1976)

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 13:36:41 -0400

We end our Kingtastic Month with the classic Brian de Palma film about the dangers of menstruation. We watched the bicentennial's own Carrie! Earning an academy nod for both female leads, this film reminds us high school was awful, gym class was worse, but nothing beats home.

How will Carrie hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Charlie, Nur

Directed by Brian De Palma
Starring: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, John Travolta, William Katt, Nancy Allen, P.J. Soles, Priscilla Pointer, Sydney Lassick

Creepshow (1982)

Thu, 26 Oct 2023 00:08:00 -0400

This week we watched a classic comic book movie, we watched Creepshow (1982), the one where everyone is kind of a bastard. Leslie Nielsen, Roaches, Dead people, everyone is a reallllll bastard.

How will Creepshow (1982) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Matthew, Daniel, Madison

Directed by George A. Romero
Writen by Stephen King
Starring Hal Holbrook, Leslie Nielsen, Adrienne Barbeau, E.G. Marshall, Fritz Weaver, Carrie Nye, Viveca Lindfors, Ed Harris, Ted Danson, Stephen King

Graveyard Shift

Thu, 19 Oct 2023 00:24:00 -0400

This week, we get a crap job in Maine. We watched Graveyard Shift, has Brad Dourif ever been not sweaty?

How will Graveyard Shift hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Daniel, Nur

Directed by Ralph S. Singleton
Starring David Andrews, Kelly Wolf, Stephen Macht, Andrew Divoff, Vic Polizos, Brad Dourif, Robert Alan Beuth

Christine

Thu, 12 Oct 2023 00:03:00 -0400

This week on Myopia, we watch Stephen King's Top Gear! We saw Christine, what happens to bullying, nerds, and cars when Cocaine is involved.

How will Christine hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Madison, Matthew, Daniel

Directed by John Carpenter
Starring: Keith Gordon, John Stockwell, Alexandra Paul, Robert Prosky, Harry Dean Stanton, Steven Tash

The Stupids

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 00:56:00 -0400

As we wind down this Dantastic Month, he punishes us for doing so. We watched The Stupids, a movie with cameos from David Cronenberg, Christopher Lee, Frankie Faison and more! My only question is, why?

How will The Stupids hold up?

Host: Daniel

Panel: Nic, Matthew, Nur

Directed by John Landis
Starring: Tom Arnold, Jessica Lundy, Bug Hall, Alex McKenna, Mark Metcalf, Matt Keeslar

Armed and Dangerous

Thu, 28 Sep 2023 00:18:00 -0400

This week we continue our Dantastic month and podcast dictator Daniel has selected this baffling movie! We watched Armed and Dangerous, a movie with both John Candy and Eugene Levy playing sex objects.

How will Armed and Dangerous hold up?

Host: Daniel

Cohost: Nic, Matthew, and Nur

Directed by Mark L. Lester
Starring: John Candy, Meg Ryan, Eugene Levy, Robert Loggia,
Kenneth McMillan, Brion James, Jonathan Banks, Stacy Keach Sr., Tiny Lister

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 00:28:00 -0400

This week, we talk about a comic adaptation where the fictional stories are actually biographies, which perhaps is why the plot is so contrived. We watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, what I imagine Sean Connery calls his drinking buddies.

How will The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen hold up?

Host: Daniel

Panel: Matthew, Nic, and Nur

Directed by Stephen Norrington
Starring: Sean Connery, Stuart Townsend, Peta Wilson, Jason Flemyng, Naseeruddin Shah, Tony Curran, Shane West, Richard Roxburgh, Max Ryan, Tom Goodman-Hill

Reanimator

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 00:57:00 -0400

This week we can't let a good idea die. We watched Reanimator or How to get a head in Science.

How will Reanimator hold up?

Host: Daniel

Panel: Nic, Nur, Matthew

Directed by Stuart Gordon
Starring: Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton, David Gale, Robert Sampson, Gerry Black, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon, Peter Kent

Mortal Kombat (1995)

Thu, 07 Sep 2023 00:50:00 -0400

This week we watch the best video game movie I saw this year. We watched Mortal Kombat (1995), Round Two...FIGHT!

How will Mortal Kombat hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matthew

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring: Christopher Lambert, Robin Shou, Linden Ashby, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, Bridgette Wilson-Sampras, Talisa Soto, Trevor Goddard, Chris Casamassa, François Petit

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

Thu, 31 Aug 2023 00:06:00 -0400

This week we reheat vengeance, a dish best served cold. We watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, because we needed a good sci-fi cry.

How will Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Keiko, Candace

Directed by Nicholas Meyer

Starring: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, Walter Koenig, George Takei, Nichelle Nichols, Bibi Besch, Merritt Butrick, Paul Winfield, Kirstie Alley, Ricardo Montalban

Batman Forever Revisited

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 00:38:00 -0400

This week we riddle over who's afraid of the big black bat, nothing homoerotic about that! We watched Batman Forever! Inspiring the newest ride at a Six Flags near you!

How will Batman Forever hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Charlie

Directed by Joel Schumacher
Starring: Val Kilmer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Nicole Kidman, Chris O'Donnell, Michael Gough, Pat Hingle, Drew Barrymore, Debi Mazar, Rene Auberjonois

"Surf Shimmy" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

A Goofy Movie - ReVisited

Thu, 17 Aug 2023 00:43:00 -0400

This week we revisit the scenic locale of the Leaning Tower of Cheesa. We revisited A Goofy Movie, watch it BEFORE YOU END UP IN THE ELECTRIC CHAIR!

How will A Goofy Movie hold up after nine more years?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Co-Host: Nur, Matthew

Panel: Keiko

Directed by Kevin Lima

Starring: Bill Farmer, Jason Marsden, Jim Cummings, Kellie Martin, Rob Paulsen, Wallace Shawn, Jenna von Oÿ, Frank Welker

"Surf Shimmy" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

TMNT (2007)

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 01:59:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies we get season 10 going with a return to form; starting a season with a healthy dose of fighting and pizza. We watched TMNT, yet ANOTHER movie where Raphael was a jerk to everyone.

How will TMNT hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Keiko, Matt, and Candace.

Directed by Kevin Munroe

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Mako, Chris Evans, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Kevin Smith, Ziyi Zhang, Laurence Fishburne, Mitchell Whitfield, James Arnold Taylor, Mikey Kelley, Nolan North, John DiMaggio, Kevin Michael Richardson, Fred Tatasciore

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure

Thu, 03 Aug 2023 00:09:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we mourn a great one by celebrating a fantastic one and learned there is no basement in the Alamo. We watched Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, you don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like him. He's a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

How will Pee-Wee's Big Adventure hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Adam, Candace.

Directed by Tim Burton

Starring: Paul Reubens, Elizabeth Daily, Mark Holton, Diane Salinger, Judd Omen

Alien: Resurrection

Thu, 27 Jul 2023 00:51:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies summer movies, we nearly kill Wynona Ryder and run out of ideas! We watched Alien: Resurrection, um...maybe pirates?

How will Alien: Resurrection hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy, Matthew, Daniel

Directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Written by Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett, Joss Whedon
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Dominique Pinon,
Ron Perlman, Gary Dourdan, Michael Wincott, Kim Flowers, Dan Hedaya, Brad Dourif, Leland Orser

Alien 3

Thu, 20 Jul 2023 00:46:00 -0400

This week on Myopia, we cover our first Fincher flick! We watched Alien 3, in an insane world, a sane man must appear insane.Now, I know Daniel loves this one, but man, I was confused....

How will Alien 3 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, and Matthew

Directed by David Fincher
Written by Dan O'Bannon, Ronald Shusett, Vincent Ward
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Charles S. Dutton, Charles Dance, Paul McGann, Brian Glover, Lance Henriksen, Pete Postlethwaite

Aliens

Thu, 13 Jul 2023 00:35:00 -0400

This week, we learned that Paul Reiser can play a real shit-heel. We watched the James Cameron sequel, Aliens! In space, corporations still don't care about their workers....

How will Aliens hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, Matthew.

Directed by James Cameron
Written by James Cameron, David Giler, Walter Hill
Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Carrie Henn, Paul Reiser, Lance Henriksen, Bill Paxton, William Hope, Jenette Goldstein, Al Matthews, Mark Rolston, Cynthia Dale Scott, John C. McGinley

Alien

Thu, 06 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0400

This week we learn about space and screaming. We start our summer movie fest with Alien!

How will Alien hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy

Directed by Ridley Scott

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Veronica Cartwright, Harry Dean Stanton, Ian Holm, Yaphet Kotto

Mission Impossible 2

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 01:49:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, John Woo BRINGS THE DOVES! We watched the ageless Tom Cruise save the day again in honor of his newest Mission Impossible movie, 23 years after this one came out.

How will Mission Impossible 2 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Matt, Daniel

Directed by John Woo

Starring: Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandiwe Newton, Ving Rhames
John Polson, Brendan Gleeson

Popeye

Thu, 22 Jun 2023 00:49:00 -0400

This week, we will gladly pay you Tuesday for a podcast today! We watched a musical about Popeye from a world class director, because creativity died long ago.

How will Popeye hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Daniel

Directed by Robert Altman

Starring: Starring: Robin Williams, Shelley Duvall, Ray Walston, Paul Dooley, Paul L. Smith, Richard Libertini, Donald Moffat, MacIntyre Dixon, Roberta Maxwell, Bill Irwin

Garfield (2004)

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 01:09:00 -0400

This week we watched the CGI nightmare that is Garfield (2004). It raises important questions: was Bill Murray really tricked into this because he thought it was by Joel Coen instead of Joel Cohen? Why are all the animals real except for Garfield? Can Breckin Meyer play someone who is not a loser?

How will Garfield hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-host: Matthew

Directed by Peter Hewitt
Written by Jim Davis ,Joel Cohen, Alec Sokolow
Starring: Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Stephen Tobolowsky, Bill Murray, Evan Arnold, Mark Christopher Lawrence, Vanessa Campbell, Daamen J. Krall

The Running Man

Thu, 08 Jun 2023 00:42:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the dangers of reality TV and Jesse Ventura. We watched The Running Man, the greatest end to the Kardashians.

How will the Running Man hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Lauren

Directed by Paul Michael Glaser
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Conchita Alonso, Yaphet Kotto, Jim Brown, Jesse Ventura, Erland van Lidth, Marvin J. McIntyre, Gus Rethwisch, Mick Fleetwood, Dweezil Zappa, Richard Dawson, Karen Leigh Hopkins, Sven-Ole Thorsen

Shrek 2

Thu, 01 Jun 2023 22:31:32 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we are accidentally in love. We watched Shrek 2, the film that introduced the spin-off and makes Shrek, once again, into a sex symbol.

How will Shrek 2 Hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matt and Nur

Directed by: Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, and Conrad Vernon

Starring: Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Julie Andrews, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese, Rupert Everett

Pet Sematary (1989)

Thu, 25 May 2023 00:51:00 -0400

This week we learn that sometimes, dead is better. We watched Pet Sematary, why would you live on the Talladega Raceway?

How does Pet Sematary hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew, Daniel, Nur

Paycheck

Thu, 18 May 2023 11:09:56 -0400

Is it more ironic that no one remembered this film, or that I did, but only barely. We watched Paycheck, the movie named for the reason that Ben Affleck showed up!

Want to follow me? Try out: Letterboxd, Twitter, Facebook, email. Also rate and review where ever you get it! If you have any season 10 suggestions, DM or Email me!

How will Paycheck hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Nic, Nur

Directed by John Woo

Starring: Ben Affleck, Aaron Eckhart, Uma Thurman, Michael C. Hall, Paul Giamatti, Colm Feore, Joe Morton

Splash (1984)

Wed, 10 May 2023 09:41:46 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we get wet! We watch as Tom Hanks tries to bang a fish with John Candy's help, just to punish Eugene Levy. We watched Splash, the origin of the women's name Madison; no really.

How will Splash hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew, Daniel, Nur

Missing In Action

Thu, 04 May 2023 21:19:39 -0400

This week, we were going to make a podcast about a Chuck Norris movie, but he roundhouse kicked the podcast into submission. We watched Missing in Action! The only movie more misguided than a Ross Perot Campaign.

How will Missing In Action hold up?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Matthew Quinn

Directed by Joseph Zito
Starring: Chuck Norris, M. Emmet Walsh, David Tress, Lenore Kasdorf, James Hong, Ernie Ortega

Killer Workout (Aerobicide)

Thu, 27 Apr 2023 20:55:00 -0400

This week we get fit, but not tanned....We watched Killer Workout! Just release podcast and stop showing off your tits and your tight little ass!

How will Killer Workout hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew

Directed by David A. Prior
Starring: Marcia Karr, David Campbell, Fritz Matthews, Ted Prior, Teresa Van der Woude, Richard Bravo

Multiplicity

Thu, 20 Apr 2023 00:44:00 -0400

This week watch a movie with the great Michael Keaton, the excellent Michael Keaton, the awesome Michael Keaton, and the mediocre Michael Keaton. We watched Multiplicity, how does he afford any of this?

How does Multiplicity hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew and Nur

Directed by Harold Ramis
Starring: Michael Keaton, Andie MacDowell, Harris Yulin, Richard Masur, Eugene Levy, Ann Cusack, John de Lancie, Brian Doyle-Murray

Crocodile Dundee

Thu, 13 Apr 2023 20:10:46 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a documentary about what may or may not be a knife. We watched Crocodile Dundee, betcha you don't think "Academy Award Nominated" when you watched this, but you, my friend would be wrong.

How does Crocodile Dundee hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Nur

Directed by Peter Faiman
Starring: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon, David Gulpilil

Leviathan

Thu, 06 Apr 2023 01:45:00 -0400

This week on Myopia, Daniel Stern turns on the sexual harassment, we finally get to Leviathan, and wow, what a picture!

How will Leviathan hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew

Panel: Candace

Directed by George P. Cosmatos
Starring Peter Weller, Richard Crenna, Amanda Pays, Daniel Stern, Ernie Hudson, Michael Carmine, Lisa Eilbacher, Hector Elizondo, Meg Foster

The Room (2003)

Thu, 30 Mar 2023 16:14:51 -0400

As this celebration train continues, we make a stop over in Wiseau World. We watched The Room, we're the experts, Mark!

How will the Room hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Candace, Lauren, Nur, Daniel.

Read the Disaster Artist

Directed by Tommy Wiseau

Starring: Tommy Wiseau, Juliette Danielle, Greg Sestero, Philip Haldiman

Waterworld

Thu, 23 Mar 2023 15:59:19 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we get a might soggy. For episode #400 we watched Waterworld, Mad Max for people who like it wet.

We want to thank you for listening and subscribing. We have a global audience that encourages us to continue this project. We do it for you happily because you are out there. Please rate and review us wherever you listen and let's keep this going for 400 more!

How will Waterworld hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-host: Matthew and Daniel

Director by Kevin Reynolds
Starring: Kevin Costner, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Dennis Hopper, Tina Majorino, Chaim Jeraffi, Rick Aviles

Critters (1986)

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 13:41:20 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a movie that watched Gremlins, we watched Critters, M. Emmett Walsh at his most blustery!

How will Critters hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie

Directed by Stephen Herek
Starring: Dee Wallace, M. Emmet Walsh, Billy Green Bush, Scott Grimes, Nadine Van der Velde, Billy Zane

Dragonslayer (1981)

Thu, 09 Mar 2023 16:35:30 -0500

This week we watched Dragonslayer (1981), despite being scheduled months ago and requested by Matt years ago, it happens to corespond with the 4k release! So, in honor of a good timing, let's talk Dragonslayer (1981)!

How will Dragonslayer hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt

City Slickers

Thu, 02 Mar 2023 00:43:00 -0500

This week we watch the miracle of life as Billy Crystal gives birth to a calf. We watched Academy Award Winning Picture City Slickers, the movie where Daniel Stern knocks up Lisa Simpson.

How does City Slickers hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew

Directed by Ron Underwood
Starring: Billy Crystal, Jack Palance, Daniel Stern, Bruno Kirby, Helen Slater, Noble Willingham, Josh Mostel, Jeffrey Tambor

When Harry Met Sally

Thu, 23 Feb 2023 10:01:03 -0500

This week on Myopia, we fake an orgasm at a diner. We watched When Harry Met Sally and learn a valuable lesson; sex would ruin the podcast.

How does When Harry Met Sally hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew

Panel: Nur

Directed by Rob Reiner

Written by Nora Ephron

Starring: Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, Carrie Fisher, Bruno Kirby, Steven Ford, Lisa Jane Persky

Michael

Thu, 16 Feb 2023 00:07:00 -0500

This week we learn that archangels just want to get laid. We watched Michael, at least Travolta gets to dance.

How will Michael hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew, Daniel

Panel: Lauren

Written and Directed by Nora Ephron

Starring: John Travolta, Andie MacDowell, William Hurt, Bob Hoskins, Robert Pastorelli, Jean Stapleton, Teri Garr, Joey Lauren Adams, Carla Gugino, Richard Schiff

Myopia Movies Trailer

Tue, 14 Feb 2023 13:10:47 -0500

Sleepless in Seattle

Thu, 09 Feb 2023 00:46:00 -0500

As we continue our Nora Ephron month, we return to Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in Sleepless in Seattle, the film where a child hacks the airline industry to pull a pervy Kevin McCallister and hook his dad up with a stranger.

How will Sleepless in Seattle hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew, Daniel

Written and Directed by Nora Ephron

Starring: Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Rita Wilson, Victor Garber, Bill Pullman, David Hyde Pierce, Frances Conroy

You’ve Got Mail

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 09:52:45 -0500

This week, we fall in love with Tom Hanks as he becomes the world's biggest catfisher. We watched You've Got Mail, TimeWarner couldn't keep AOL together, what hope did HBOMax have....

How will You've Got Mail hold up?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Co-Host: Daniel, Matthew

Panel: Nur

Written and Directed by Nora Epron

Starring: Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey, Jean Stapleton, Steve Zahn, Dave Chappelle, Dabney Coleman, John Randolph

Karate Kid (1984)

Thu, 26 Jan 2023 00:28:00 -0500

This week we talk the Karate Kid (1984)! In honor of the renewal of Cobra Kai and the announcement of the Academy Award Nominees, we talk about the Academy Award Nominated film, Karate Kid! Nominated, of course, for Pat Morita's masterful performance as Mr. Miyagi!

How will Karate Kid (1984) hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew

Directed by John G. Avildsen
Starring: Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Elisabeth Shue, Martin Kove, Randee Heller, William Zabka

Ewoks: The Battle for Endor

Thu, 19 Jan 2023 00:57:00 -0500

Wilfred Brimley? In Star Wars? It happened in Ewoks: The Battle for Endor! After the bloodbath beginning, join us for magic, talking Ewoks, and Brimley calling kids beggars.

How will Ewoks: The Battle for Endor hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew and Daniel

Panel: Charlie Rose

Directors Jim Wheat and Ken Wheat
Starring: Wilford Brimley, Warwick Davis, Aubree Miller, Siân Phillips, Carel Struycken, Niki Botelho, Paul Gleason, Eric Walker

X-Files: I Want to Believe

Thu, 12 Jan 2023 00:10:00 -0500

This week we ruin a beloved franchise and ask the question, can pedophiles be heroes? We watched X-Files: I Want to Believe, or alternate title, X-Files: Where are the !@#$@#$!@ Aliens?

How will X-Files: I Want to Believe hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew

Panel: Candace

Directed by Chris Carter
Starring: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Billy Connolly, Amanda Peet, Xzibit, Mitch Pileggi, Callum Keith Rennie, Adam Godley

X-Files: Fight the Future

Thu, 05 Jan 2023 00:50:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we open the vault to release the movie that makes you love the X-Files, so that next week we can cover the movie that made you hate the X-Files. X-Files: Fight the Future is tight, fast, entertaining and exciting. Someone who didn't watch the show could understand it, but the sequel? Oof. Anyway, enjoy the first movie, because next week may have some rage.

How will X-Files: Fight the Future hold up?

Host: Nic

Directed by Rob Bowman

Starring David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, John Neville, William B. Davis, Martin Landau, Mitch Pileggi, Blythe Danner, Terry O'Quinn, Dean Haglund, Bruce Harwood, Tom Braidwood

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Thu, 29 Dec 2022 00:30:00 -0500

This week we end the year suffering for your pleasure. We watched The Star Wars Holiday Special where we learn that Chewbacca just kind of bails on his family for the entirety of the Skywalker Saga.

How does The Star Wars Holiday Special hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Daniel

Panel: Candace, Nur, and Lauren

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hH8rxarVG8

Directed by Steve Binder and David Acomba
Written by Rod Warren, Bruce Vilanch, Pat Proft, Leonard Ripps, Mitzie Welch
Actors: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Anthony Daniels,
Peter Mayhew, James Earl Jones, Bea Arthur, Art Carney, Diahann Carroll, Harvey Korman

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 00:33:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn that there was no need to make The Mean One, there had been a horror version of the Grinch since the year 2000. We watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000), Jim Carrey went through torture training for this role, but what could the audience do?

How will How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Matt, and Daniel

Director: Ron Howard

Starring: Jim Carrey, Taylor Momsen, Kelley (the dog), Jeffrey Tambor, Christine Baranski, Bill Irwin, Molly Shannon, Clint Howard

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Thu, 15 Dec 2022 00:48:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we get heavier. We watched Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, comin' in glory at the turn of the tide!

How will Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers hold up for its 20th Anniversary?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Candace, and Lauren

Directed by Peter Jackson
Actors - Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, Billy Boyd, Brad Dourif, Christopher Lee, John Rhys-Davies, Andy Serkis, Liv Tyler, Karl Urban, David Wenham

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings

Thu, 08 Dec 2022 02:21:00 -0500

In honor of the 20th Anniversary of the release of the The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, we are covering The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings and the Two Towers back to back. Will we make it? CAN WE SURVIVE? WILL IT MAKE ME WANT TO WATCH THE HOBBIT TRILOGY FINALLY? WILL IT BE THE FARTHEST FROM HOME I HAVE EVER BEEN?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Charlie, Kellie

Directed by Peter Jackson
Starring: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Orlando Bloom, Sean Bean, Sean Astin, Billy Boyd, Andy Serkis, Viggo Mortensen, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee

Willow (Movie 1988)

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 00:38:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of the new TV show, we celebrate the Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer in a LucasFilm and Ron Howard classic. We watched Willow and the last thing we are going to want is a hairy chest!

How will Willow hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Daniel and Matthew

Guest: Charlie, Nur, and Candace

Directed by Ron Howard
Written by George Lucas (story by) and Bob Dolman(screenplay by)
Starring: Val Kilmer, Joanne Whalley, Warwick Davis, Jean Marsh, Billy Barty, Gavan O'Herlihy, Kevin Pollak

Addams Family Values

Thu, 24 Nov 2022 00:01:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of Tim Burton's Addams Family reboot, we watched the classic sequel to the classic 1990s movie, the Addams Family Values! Join us as we talk about the hilarious cast and a trip to summer camp!

How will Addams Family Values hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Jon and Daniel

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld
Starring: Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Joan Cusack, Christina Ricci, Carol Kane, Jimmy Workman, David Krumholtz, Peter MacNicol, Peter MacNicol, Christine Baranski

Punisher: War Zone

Thu, 17 Nov 2022 14:05:29 -0500

This week, in honor of Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, we revisit Marvel Town. Now, the original Black Panther is too good for what we do here, so instead we visit the Ray Stevenson bloodbath that is Punisher: War Zone. Does this have torture? People bleeding out from axe wounds? Hell yea! Take that Disney!

How will Punisher War Zone hold up?

Host: Nic

Guests: Dan and Evan

Directed by Lexi Alexander
Starring Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Julie Benz, Doug Hutchison, Wayne Knight

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Thu, 10 Nov 2022 00:52:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we visit merry old English with Englishman Robert Downey Jr.! Witness the raw sexual tension between Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr., sexual tension between Rachel McAdams, and Jude Law, the camera and Jude Law, and the audience and Jude Law!

How will Sherlock Holmes hold up?

Hosted by: Nic
Co-Host: Daniel

Guest: Nur, Charlie, and Candace

Directed by Guy Ritchie

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong, Eddie Marsan, Robert Maillet

The Great Mouse Detective

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 01:39:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we release a classic episode from the archives, The Great Mouse Detective. Disney in the dark years tackling Sherlock Holmes, with a musical number by Vincent Price. Yup. Also, some interesting early CGI and mice in lingerie in a kickline.

How will The Great Mouse Detective hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel

Directored by Ron Clements, Burny Mattinson, David Michener

Starring: Vincent Price, Barrie Ingham, Val Bettin, Susanne Pollatschek, Candy Candido, Diana Chesney

The Howling

Thu, 27 Oct 2022 00:55:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we get seduced by a werewolf while helping our wife recover from emotional stress after nearly being killed by a serial killer. Yup. We watched the Howling, the Werewolf movie where werewolves don't show up for almost 45 minutes.

How will The Howling hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Matthew, Daniel, and Nur

Directed by Joe Dante
Actors: Dee Wallace, Patrick Macnee, Dennis Dugan, Christopher Stone, Belinda Balaski, Kevin McCarthy, John Carradine, Slim Pickens, Elisabeth Brooks

Green Lantern

Thu, 20 Oct 2022 01:26:00 -0400

This week we watch Ryan Reynolds fight CGI nonsense! Which of course is different from the fact that his suite here is CGI or X-Men Origins Wolverine where he becomes CGI nonsense. We watched Green Lantern: In Brightest Day and Darkest Night, yada yada yada, I HAVE THE POWER!!!!! Or something like that....

We wanted to visit the DC Cinematic Universe in time for Black Adam! So we turn to Goldeneye, Mask of Zorro and Casino Royale's own Martin Campbell.

How will Green Lantern hold up?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Candace, Daniel, Nur, and Charlie

Directed by Martin Campbell
Actors: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong, Tim Robbins, Jay O. Sanders, Taika Waititi, Angela Bassett

An American Werewolf in London

Thu, 13 Oct 2022 00:04:00 -0400

This week we watch some damn incredible Rick Baker effects. We watched An American Werewolf in London, who doesn't love a horror comedy that is actually funny?

How does An American Werewolf in London hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Host: Nur, Matthew and Daniel

Written and Directed by John Landis
Starring: David Naughton, Jenny Agutter, Joe Belcher, Griffin Dunne, David Schofield, Frank Oz

Twilight New Moon

Thu, 06 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0400

In an effort to fully break the mind of my co-host Daniel, we tackled the second Twilight Saga Movie: New Moon, the moon is for werewolf! In fact, I haven't listened to his edit yet, it may just be 90 minutes of screaming and sobbing, like a creepypasta or post hot wings night bathroom review.

This week we learn that Edward is a liar: "This is the last time you'll ever see me. I won't come back, and you can go on with your life without any interference from me. It'll be like I never existed, I promise." BULLSHIT, there are like three more movies after this! We watched Twilight: New Moon, mouth breathing edition.

Host: Nic

Cohost: Daniel, Matthew

Guest: Charlie Rose

Directed by Chris Weitz
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Christina Jastrzembska, Billy Burke, Anna Kendrick

Silver Bullet

Thu, 29 Sep 2022 12:43:17 -0400

This week we visit Stephen King with Silver Bullet. This movie has it all, one of the Coreys, Gary Busey, and a werewolf. Enjoy!

How will Silver Bullet hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel

Directed by Daniel Attias
Starring: Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Corey Haim, Megan Follows, Robin Groves, Leon Russom, Terry O'Quinn, Bill Smitrovich

Masters of the Universe

Thu, 22 Sep 2022 00:27:00 -0400

This week we have the power! We watched The Masters of the Universe, The universe is power - pure, unstoppable power! And I am that force, I am that power! KNEEL BEFORE YOUR MASTER!

Will Masters of the Universe hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-host: Daniel

Guests: Candace and Charlie

Directed by Gary Goddard
Actors: Dolph Lundgren, Frank Langella, Meg Foster, Billy Barty, Courteney Cox, Robert Duncan McNeill, Jon Cypher, James Tolkan

Soylent Green

Thu, 15 Sep 2022 12:40:28 -0400

In honor of the fact that it is taking place now, we watched 1973's Soylent Green! It's podcast, SOYLENT GREEN IS A PODCAST!

How will Soylent Green hold up?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Co-host: Daniel, Matt

Guest: Charlie

Directed by Richard Fleischer
Starring: Charlton Heston, Edward G. Robinson, Leigh Taylor-Young, Chuck Connors, Joseph Cotten, Brock Peters, Paula Kelly, Stephen Young, Lincoln Kilpatrick

The Happening

Thu, 08 Sep 2022 12:46:44 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, the Lorax gets his revenge! We finish our M. Night Shyamalan Month with the Mark Wahlberg vehicle, The Happening! All I want to know is if hot dog guy makes it!

How will the Happening hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-hosts: Matthew and Daniel

Written, Directed, and Produced by M. Night Shyamalan.

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Spencer Breslin, Alan Ruck, and M. Night Shyamalan.

The Village

Thu, 01 Sep 2022 00:35:00 -0400

This week we tackle the movie that made me stop watching M. Night Shyamalan The Village! Enjoy monsters! Blindness! And whatever developmental issue that Adrian Brody is supposed to have!

How will the Village hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-host: Matthew

Written, Produced, and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Starring Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt, Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard, Adrien Brody, Brendan Gleeson, Cherry Jones, Judy Greer, Michael Pitt, Jesse Eisenberg and M. Night Shyamalan

Lady in the Water

Thu, 25 Aug 2022 21:23:51 -0400

Note: There are audio issues with this file. I have cleaned them up some, but, there is still some artifacting. Sorry about that. Nic

This week we continue the M. Night-a-thon with the first M. Night movie to lose money, Lady in the Water! This movie has it all! A mostly naked Bryce Dallas Howard (who is mostly mute), a starring role for M. Night, and Paul Giamatti with a stutter because his family was slaughtered...look out for a scrunt!

How will Lady in the Water hold up?

Host: Nic

Co-Hosts: Matthew and Daniel

Written, Produced, and Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Balaban, Sarita Choudhury, Cindy Cheung, M. Night Shyamalan, Freddy Rodríguez, Bill Irwin

Signs

Thu, 18 Aug 2022 00:53:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we start our M. Night Shyamamonth! The twist is that it will start halfway through the month and end halfway through the next! In honor of the 20th Anniversary, we are going to talk Signs, the reason I haven't gone to a birthday party in South America.

As we have been doing, we will announce in advance the next film! In fact, in honor of the theme month, we will tell you the whole line up of this Shyamalan-ebration!

Signs 18-Aug Lady in the Water 25-Aug The Village 1-Sep The Happening 8-Sep

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Cohost: Matthew Quinn

Directed, Written, Produced by M. Night Shyamalan
Starring: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin, Cherry Jones, M. Night Shyamalan

XXX (2002)

Thu, 11 Aug 2022 00:11:00 -0400

This month we continue the celebration of the return to new episodes and talk the first Vin Diesel starring vehicle, XXX! We live for this shit! Well, maybe not this movie in particular....

How does XXX (not pornography) hold up?

Host: Nic

Starring: Daniel

Guest Star: Charlie Rose

Directed by Rob Cohen

Starring: Vin Diesel, Asia Argento, Marton Csokas, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Roof, Richy Müller

Black Hole

Thu, 04 Aug 2022 00:25:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies we watch the first time Disney tried to do Star Wars, we watched Black Hole! Coming out 20 years after it look like it should have!

How will Black Hole hold up?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Starring: Daniel Suddes

Guest: Charlie Rose

Directed by Gary Nelson

Starring: Maximilian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Robert Forster, Joseph Bottoms, Yvette Mimieux, Ernest Borgnine

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

Thu, 28 Jul 2022 00:12:00 -0400

This week, in honor of the twentieth anniversary of the final Austin Powers movie Goldmember, (despite reports for 15 years saying another is coming soon), we are watching Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Yea baby!

How will Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Daniel

Never Say Never Again

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 01:30:00 -0400

Since we are covering Austin Powers later this week, we figured we should release a silly Bond Movie as well. Enjoy this coverage on Never Say Never Again, a remake of Bond's most boring movie Thunderball. Sean Connery returns as Bond to spite the Broccoli's in what was supposed to create a new Bond Spin-off to challenge the Timothy Dalton movies. Oof. How can the director of Empire Strikes Back make a movie this boring!

How will Never Say Never Again hold up?

Host: Nic

Directed by Irvin Kershner

Starring: Sean Connery, Kim Basinger, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Max von Sydow, Barbara Carrera, Bernie Casey, Alec McCowen, Rowan Atkinson

Tropic Thunder

Thu, 21 Jul 2022 00:44:00 -0400

This week, we head to the beach for two films from the back catalog and former patreon to celebrate the beach. We watched the most recent role in black face to get nominated for an academy award and the last time Tom Cruise got to act nutty. We watched Tropic Thunder. I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary.

How will Tropic Thunder hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Fitzy, Nic, Charlie

Directed by Ben Stiller

Starring: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson, Steve Coogan, Danny McBride, Bill Hader, Nick Nolte, Tom Cruise

Muppet Treasure Island

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 00:42:00 -0400

This week, we head to the beach for two films from the back catalog and former patreon to celebrate the beach. This episode we go to a movie that learned all the wrong lessons from its predecessor. After the success of previous episode A Muppet Christmas Carol they thought they could do another classic. The novel Treasure Island is a layup, right? Well, replace Michael Caine with Tim Curry and we are off to the races. Also, have it led by a child in his first role and you are in trouble already.

How will Muppet Treasure Island hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Thomas and Daniel

Directed by Brian Henson
Starring: Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders, Kevin Bishop, Dave Goelz, Gonzo the Great, Steve Whitmire, Kermit the Frog, Jerry Nelson, Statler, Kevin Clash, Frank Oz, Miss Piggy

The Lawmower Man

Thu, 14 Jul 2022 00:35:00 -0400

This week, we have done it. As I said Monday, we worship the beautiful specimen that is Pierce Brosnan. From the heights of James Bond, to the depths of The Lawnmower Man, we focus on everyone's favorite Irish Bond. This time we review the Stephen King adaptation SO bad, he sued to remove his name, twice.

How will The Lawnmower Man hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic and Daniel

Directed by Brett Leonard
Starring: Jeff Fahey, Pierce Brosnan, Jenny Wright, Mark Bringelson, Geoffrey Lewis, Jeremy Slate, Dean Norris

Goldeneye

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 00:29:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we worship the beautiful specimen that is Pierce Brosnan. From the heights of James Bond, to the depths of The Lawnmower Man, we focus on everyone's favorite Irish Bond. This week we watch Goldeneye and learn who is Invincible!

How will Goldeneye hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Thomas, Daniel

Directed by Martin Campbell
Starring: Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Izabella Scorupco, Famke Janssen, Joe Don Baker, Judi Dench, Robbie Coltrane, Tchéky Karyo, Gottfried John, Alan Cumming, Desmond Llewelyn, Samantha Bond

Baby’s Day Out

Thu, 07 Jul 2022 00:16:00 -0400

Today, as a father, we learn that babies are pretty much indestructible. We watched John Hughes' Baby's Day Out, is this the worst mafia on film?

How will Baby's Day Out hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt, Daniel

Directed by Patrick Read Johnson
Written by John Hughes
Starring: Lara Flynn Boyle, Joe Mantegna, Joe Pantoliano, Brian Haley, Cynthia Nixon, Fred Thompson

Adventures in Babysitting

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 00:07:00 -0400

This week we visit the city of Chicago and visit a jazz club while running from the mop. We saw Adventures in Babysitting.

How does Adventures in Babysitting hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Matt

Directed by Chris Columbus
Starring: Elisabeth Shue, Maia Brewton, Keith Coogan, Anthony Rapp, Vincent D'Onofrio, Penelope Ann Miller, George Newbern, Bradley Whitford

Dexter’s Lab: Ego Trip

Thu, 30 Jun 2022 10:01:54 -0400

This week we wrap up season 8 with Dexter's Lab: Ego Trip, a made for TV masterpiece by Genndy Tartakovsky, as we learn that Eddie Deezen is annoying throughout all time.

Also, as an update, our Patreon is officially ending and we would like to thank all those who supported us during CoVid. In the meantime, we will be taking July off for vacation. Which for you means, you will receive two episodes a week all month long! Some from the Patreon and some from the old archive! Enjoy!

How does Dexter's Lab: Ego Trip hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Candace, Matthew, Daniel

Directed by Genndy Tartakovsky
Starring: Jeff Bennett, Christine Cavanaugh, Kat Cressida, Eddie Deezen, Tom Kenny, Kath Soucie

Rock-A-Doodle

Thu, 23 Jun 2022 22:01:27 -0400

This week on Myopia we learn the true evil of owls. In honor of the release of Elvis, we watched the Glen Campbell/Don Bluth movie, Rock-A-Doodle. Nothing like a kid's movie about the forced sexual pressure put on actresses. Also, don't make the kid with the adorable speech impediment try to say "Chanticleer" 1000 times.

How will Rock-A-Doodle hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Directed by: Don Bluth, Gary Goldman, Dan Kuenster

Starring: Glen Campbell, Christopher Plummer, Phil Harris, Eddie Deezen, Toby Ganger, Charles Nelson Reilly

Jurassic World ReRelease

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 00:02:00 -0400

In honor of the mediocre end to the Jurassic World Trilogy, we return to the 2015 movie that sucked the charisma out of Chris Pratt, Jurassic World; a movie I have now seen easily two dozen times due to my daughter's love of dinosaurs and a vast Mattel marketing line. Join us for a second season episode where we are young sounding and still optimistic for the hopes of Universal Dino movies, we ignore running in heels, and are generally high on a fun movie experience.

Enjoy

Hosted by Nic

Directed by Colin Trevorrow
Starring: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Ty Simpkins, Judy Greer, Irrfan Khan, Vincent D'Onofrio, Jake Johnson, Omar Sy, BD Wong, Lauren Lapkus, and a useless cameo by Jimmy Fallon

Transformers: The Movie (1986)

Thu, 16 Jun 2022 01:45:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, the take down Optimus Prime. We saw Transformers: The Movie (1986), cameos in disguise.

Transformers: The Movie (1986) is Directed by Nelson Shin

Starring: Orson Welles, Robert Stack, Leonard Nimoy, Norman Alden, Eric Idle, Scatman Crothers.
Music Includes Weird Al Yankovic for some reason.

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Thu, 09 Jun 2022 00:21:00 -0400

This week, we visit the hallowed halls of ACME Looniversity just in time for it to be closed for the summer, we watched Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Summer Vacation! Yet another movie directly poking Happy World Land, I mean Disney.

Nothing like reminiscing to summer couch days and watching Tiny Toons.

Starring: Charlie Adler, Tress MacNeille, Jonathan Winters, Don Messick, Edie McClurg, Maurice LaMarche, Joe Alaskey

How will Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Summer Vacation hold up?

Panel: Nic, Matthew, and Daniel

Shrek

Thu, 02 Jun 2022 00:14:00 -0400

This week, we bring down Disney just a little bit. We watched Shrek, Jeffrey Kateznberg's revenge on Michael Eisner. We fill in a major animated gap in our knowledge by watching this Dreamworks classic (?) and the first animated best picture winner.

Starring: Mike Meyers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, and John Lithgow.

How will Shrek hold up?

Panel: Nic, Matt, Daniel

Hudson Hawk

Thu, 26 May 2022 00:23:00 -0400

This week, we cover the impressive, the rare, the Bruce Willis Musical! In honor of the great Bruce Willis' retirement, we are covering a rare foray away from the tough guy with the quips to the raw talent of a song and dance man! We watched Hudson Hawk, just let the man have his latte!

How will Hudson Hawk hold up?

Panel: Nic, Matt, Daniel

Blank Check

Thu, 19 May 2022 00:19:00 -0400

This week Disney teaches us that stealing from the mafia works out for the best, which may describe Michael Eisner's tenure. We watched Blank Check, the first and possibly only movie ever to be made with Sharper Image money.

How will Blank Check stand when we put it on trial?

Panel: Nic and Daniel

The One

Thu, 12 May 2022 00:33:00 -0400

This week in honor of the Marvel return to the Multiverse, we visit the only multiverse movie about 2001 to not try stopping 9/11. Before you watch Dr. Strange, we saw The One.

Have you joined the Patreon? Why not? At the lowest levels, you get access to the back catalogue! Mission Briefing adds an extra Bond related or spy movie every other month! At the Official tier, you get an additional extra episode a month! At the Riffing tier you get a movie riff Quarterly! At the top tier you pick a movie we will cover every year you are a member! That is over 30 hours of bonus content on top of 100+ hours of back catalogue!

How will The One hold up when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Treasure Planet

Thu, 05 May 2022 00:34:00 -0400

This week on we learn to just stick to the classics, otherwise you may waste $140 million. We watched a giggling fart cloud, I mean Treasure Planet. Sure, it's garbage, but it is beautiful garbage.

How will Treasure Planet hold up when we put you on trial?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Death Wish 3

Thu, 28 Apr 2022 00:34:00 -0400

This week we clean up the streets, pally. We watched Death Wish 3, the Star Trek and Lost Boys cross over we didn't ask for!

Panel: Nic and Daniel

Dark Shadows

Fri, 22 Apr 2022 00:27:00 -0400

This week Johnny Depp remains pale and women throw themselves at him. We watched Dark Shadows, do you know about doctor patient confidentiality?

Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) What is patreon? It is our way of rewarding our biggest fans with additional stuff, like movie episodes, riffs, and our back catalog! Join now for additional stuff at $1, $3, $5, and $10! Or a one time $50 to pick your own flick! What do you unlock? The Alien Franchise: Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien Covenant, the rest of Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince, Hallows part 1 and 2, plus Silver Bullet, The Watchmen, The Lawnmower Man, Demolition Man, True Lies, Van Helsing, The 39 Steps, Baby’s Day Out, The 13th Warrior, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, and London Has Fallen! Not to mention movie riffs and much more to come!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Dark Shadows hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Charlie, and Kellie

Hollow Man

Thu, 14 Apr 2022 09:05:00 -0400

This week we watched the most lovingly a penis has ever been 3D CGI rendered. We watched Hollow Man that is some sizzling Bacon.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Hollow Man hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nic, Matthew, Daniel, and Nur

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

Thu, 07 Apr 2022 00:00:00 -0400

This week the Hulkster reminds us of the deliciousness of popcorn! We watched Gremlins 2: The New Batch, can you imagine how many people want Zach Galligan?

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Gremlins 2: The New Batch hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Matthew, and Jon

Free Willy

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 00:36:00 -0400

This week we remember a time when Michael Madsen could be in a kids movie. We watched Free Willy, justice is not a frivolous thing. It has little if anything to do with a disobedient whale. Now let's vote!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Free Willy hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Charlie, and Kellie

Forrest Gump

Thu, 24 Mar 2022 00:41:00 -0400

This week, in honor of the Oscars, we are talking Forrest Gump, at least we will once Daniel stops frothing.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Forrest Gump hold up?

Host: Daniel

Panel: Nur, Kellie, Jeremy

The Never Ending Story (Patreon Sample)

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 10:50:43 -0400

This week we watch a horse die for you.....WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! We saw the Never Ending Story, the subject of the world's most famous false advertising lawsuit. Want the whole episode join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)!

There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) What is patreon? It is our way of rewarding our biggest fans with additional stuff, like movie episodes, riffs, and our back catalog! Join now for additional stuff at $1, $3, $5, and $10! Or a one time $50 to pick your own flick! What do you unlock? The Alien Franchise: Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien Covenant, the rest of Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince, Hallows part 1 and 2, plus Silver Bullet, The Watchmen, The Lawnmower Man, Demolition Man, True Lies, Van Helsing, The 39 Steps, Baby’s Day Out, The 13th Warrior, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, and London Has Fallen! Not to mention movie riffs and much more to come!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will the Never Ending Story hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Kellie, Nic

The Tragedy of Macbeth (Crossover with Required Reading)

Thu, 17 Mar 2022 15:36:22 -0400

In honor of the Academy Award nominated new movie by Joel Coen and starring Denzel Washington, Frances McDormand, and Kathryn Hunter, we are covering the Tragedy of Macbeth. This is a crossover with the Required Reading podcast.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

Panel: Dr. Nic Hoffmann, Mike Carroll, and Betsy Holcomb

Double Team

Thu, 10 Mar 2022 01:20:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we return to Belgium where JCVD, the American(?) picks up Dennis Rodman, the foreign gun runner...who cares this movie has Mickey Rourke throw a bassinet at JCVD with a grenade in it.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Double Team hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy

Time Cop

Thu, 24 Feb 2022 09:01:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch the most spectacular splits throughout time. We watched Time Cop, a fantasy movie where presidential candidates would do unscrupulous things for money.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Time Cop hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Jeremy, Matthew

10 Things I Hate about You

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 00:06:00 -0500

In honor of Valentine's Day, we dive into a sexy teen movie from 1999! Meet the horniest guidance counselor on film! The faculty that would be fired! The talky-talkiest Shakespeare ever got! Watch the smokeshow that is Heath Ledger!

Want the full thing? Be a Patreon!

16 Candles

Fri, 18 Feb 2022 00:03:00 -0500

In honor of Valentine's we covered a Rom-Com classic by John Hughes, 16 Candles! Can we borrow your underpants for 10 minutes?

How will 16 Candles hold up when we put you on trial?

Host: Daniel

Panel: Kellie and Lauren

The Mask of Zorro

Thu, 10 Feb 2022 00:36:00 -0500

With Valentine's Day all up on us, we get a little sexy. This week we watched The Mask of Zorro, Catherine Zeta Jones? Antonio Banderas? gonna need a fire extinguisher for that smoke show!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will The Mask of Zorro hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Myron

Charlie’s Angels

Thu, 03 Feb 2022 00:22:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we see where Sam Rockwell learned how to act in Iron Man 2. We watched Charlie's Angels, the only movie were people are bummed that their boss isn't at work.

Have you rated us and reviewed us? No? Well, please do, it makes our show more visible! Want even more content? consider joining the Patreon.com/myopia!

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2

Thu, 27 Jan 2022 00:56:00 -0500

This week we take a peak behind the Patreon Wall and release an episode you missed if you didn't become a member! To celebrate winter properly, we have decided to release the remaining Harry Potter Films!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Myron

Enter the Dragon (Patreon Preview)

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 00:14:00 -0500

This week, we know Kung Fu! We watched a saucy Bond clone starring Bruce Lee and John Saxon!

This is just a preview of our Patreon episode for January! If you are interested in hearing the whole thing, please consider joining! https://patreon.com/myopia

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1

Thu, 20 Jan 2022 00:56:00 -0500

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 hold up?

Host: Kellie

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Myron

Friday the 13th part VI: The Final Chapter

Thu, 13 Jan 2022 00:56:00 -0500

Because it was too good to pass up (and we wanted some fresh content) since it is Thursday the 13th, we are doing a Jason picture! Enjoy, and hey where IS the corkscrew!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Friday the 13th part VI: The Final Chapter hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jeremy, Matt

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Thu, 06 Jan 2022 00:56:00 -0500

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince hold up?

Host: Kellie

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Myron

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 14:22:27 -0500

This month, in honor of the 20th anniversary, we tuck into the masterpiece that saved New Line, made Peter Jackson a household name, and gave Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, and Orlando Bloom leading man potential. Want the whole thing? Join patreon.com/myopia!

Johnny English

Thu, 30 Dec 2021 00:47:00 -0500

This week we take a peak behind the Patreon Wall and release an episode you missed if you didn't become a member! From the Mission Briefing feed, we bring you Johnny English! Rowan Atkinson returns to Bond, from the writers of James Bond, no, really....

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Johnny English hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Nur

Jojo Rabbit

Thu, 23 Dec 2021 00:56:00 -0500

In honor of Home Sweet Home Alone, we watch the film that made the new Kevin MacCalister a star Jojo Rabbit...yep! Also, join the patreon at any level to see the riff of Home Alone 2: Lost in New York!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Jojo Rabbit hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Fitzy, and Jon

Spider-Man 2

Fri, 17 Dec 2021 09:46:29 -0500

This week we jump on the Bandwagon and talk Spider-Man 2! Sam Raimi plays with chainsaws once more!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Spider-Man 2 hold up?

Host: Daniel

Panel: Nur and Evan

Richie Rich

Wed, 08 Dec 2021 23:45:59 -0500

In honor of the holiday season, we once more crack out a family flick and who says family film and holidays more than Macaulay Culkin? We watched Richie Rich (Home Alone, but if he was as Rich as Macaulay Culkin), the movie that reminds us Billionaires are good, it is accountants that are evil.

We want to thank you for a great year! More of you joined the Patreon, the audience grew by nearly 70% and we are working hard to keep you happy! As a special gift, at any level, we are releasing this month's riff on Home Alone 2: Lost in New York!

Why join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)? There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) What is patreon? It is our way of rewarding our biggest fans with additional stuff, like movie episodes, riffs, and our back catalog! Join now for additional stuff at $1, $3, $5, and $10! Or a one time $50 to pick your own flick! What do you unlock? The Alien Franchise: Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien Covenant, the rest of Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince, Hallows part 1 and 2, plus Silver Bullet, The Watchmen, The Lawnmower Man, Demolition Man, True Lies, Van Helsing, The 39 Steps, Baby’s Day Out, The 13th Warrior, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, and London Has Fallen! Not to mention movie riffs and much more to come!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Richie Rich hold up?

Host: Daniel

Panel: Nur, Matthew, and Lauren

Anastasia

Thu, 02 Dec 2021 00:57:00 -0500

This week we cobble together history from the type of people who think that Pocahontas was a documentary. We watched Anastasia, the reason why Don Bluth is not allowed to direct princess stories again.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Anastasia hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jon, Kellie

The Rocketeer (Patreon Exclusive Sample)

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 00:01:00 -0500

This month's Patreon exclusive is Disney's attempt to make a steam punk super hero! We watched The Rocketeer Disney's best movie about the explosive power of alcohol!

Ghosbusters 2 Rerelease

Fri, 26 Nov 2021 00:11:00 -0500

In honor of the Release of Ghostbusters: Afterlife, I am rereleasing episode 6, Ghostbusters 2! Classic episode, goofy nonsense! Enjoy your Black Friday and consider our Patreon! Patreon.com/Myopia

All Dogs Go to Heaven

Thu, 25 Nov 2021 00:58:00 -0500

This week we learn that gamblers are never happy. We watched All Dogs Go To Heaven, the animated sequel to The Cannonball Run.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will All Dogs Go to Heaven hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Lauren, Kellie

Junior

Thu, 18 Nov 2021 11:36:18 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, Danny Devito helps knock up Arnold Schwarzenegger with Emma Thompson's baby...Hey man, you want a believable premise? They were twins in the previous film. We watched Junior, my transition into Parental Leave.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Junior hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel

Scooby Doo (2002)

Thu, 11 Nov 2021 21:50:14 -0500

Zoinks! Hey guys, this week we learn how bad CGI can be! We watched Scooby Doo (2002), the movie that presupposes Linda Cardellini would get jiggy with something.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Scooby Doo hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel

A Little Princess

Sun, 07 Nov 2021 16:10:26 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn all girls are princesses. We watched A Little Princess, nothing bad could ever happen during World War I!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will A Little Princess hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Kellie, Matthew, Daniel

The Blob

Thu, 28 Oct 2021 11:18:12 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn why they don't allow gum in school. We watched The Blob (1988), gospel to COVID deniers.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will The Blob hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Adams, Daniel, Jeremy

Addams Family Values

Sun, 24 Oct 2021 21:22:00 -0400

In honor of the new Addams Family Animated film, we visit Addams Family Values for the Patreon few!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Addams Family Values hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren, Daniel, Jon

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

Thu, 21 Oct 2021 11:46:35 -0400

This week Dean Wermer puts Klowns on double secret probation! We watched Killer Klowns from Outer Space, what are ya gonna do with those 'pies,' boys?"

If you want to see Matthew and get a book of his signed, come by Tall Tale Books in Atlanta on 10/30, from 1-3pm

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Killer Klowns from Outer Space hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Brittany, Daniel, Matthew

Halloween 2

Thu, 14 Oct 2021 15:45:47 -0400

This week, turns out, he wasn't dead! Will Loomis shoot cops at random? Halloween 2: The Hospital!

If you want to see Matthew and get a book of his signed, come by Tall Tale Books in Atlanta on 10/30, from 1-3pm

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Halloween 2 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Adam, Daniel, Jeremy

No Time to Die

Wed, 13 Oct 2021 11:29:52 -0400

This month, James Bond returns with No Time to Die! Mission Briefing returns too! Did you guys think the podcast would last this long? I meant, Daniel Craig, that Craig would last this long?

Want to hear the whole thing? Join the $3 or higher tier! Want an extra episode a month? $5! Want Myopia Movie riffs? $10!

Poltergeist

Thu, 07 Oct 2021 21:31:07 -0400

This month, Craig T. Nelson mocks a little person! We watched Poltergeist, they're heeeeeeere!

If you want to see Matthew and get a book of his signed, come by Tall Tale Books in Atlanta on 10/30, from 1-3pm

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Poltergeist hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Brittany, Daniel, Matthew

Gone in 60 Seconds

Thu, 30 Sep 2021 13:12:40 -0400

This week we watch Nic Cage have difficulty with Angelina Jolie handling his stick shift. We watched Gone in 60 Seconds, they all just want to have sex with cars, right?

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Gone in 60 Seconds hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Daniel, Matthew

Howard the Duck

Thu, 23 Sep 2021 15:40:55 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies we are down to duck! We watched Lea Thompson in yet another inappropriate relationship, we saw Howard the Duck, our last hope for novelty in the MCU.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Daniel, Matthew

A Kid in King Arthur‘s Court

Thu, 16 Sep 2021 11:21:07 -0400

This week we learn that good is bad, but this is also, just bad. We watched A Kid in King Arthur's Court, how do you make Kate Winslet and Daniel Craig look this bad?

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

Host: Nic

Panel: Kellie, Charlie, Fitzy

Ricochet

Thu, 09 Sep 2021 11:07:26 -0400

This week we are reminded that Dick from Third Rock from the Sun is crazy! We saw Ricochet, where else you going to see Governor Jesse Ventura die in a white supremacist joust fight? If you want to here us riff it, consider joining the Cineprov Patreon.

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Ricochet hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Matthew, Nur

First Kid

Thu, 02 Sep 2021 11:36:14 -0400

This week we root against the hero! We watched First Kid, not even Sinbad charm can save this kid....

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too!

Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will First Kid hold up?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Panel: Nur, Jeremy and Daniel

Cannonball Run

Thu, 26 Aug 2021 00:11:00 -0400

This week we go behind the Patreon paywall and unveil a new Mission Briefing episode. This week Roger Moore reprises his role as Roger Moore, we watched the Cannonball Run!

Every tier of our Patreon becomes one tier cheaper this week! Mission Briefing is free! Extra ep at the $3 level and riff at $5! Join today!

How will the Cannonball Run hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic, Fitzy, Charlie

Last Action Hero

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 22:07:20 -0400

This week we learn that the movies inside movies are real in movies! Mind BLOWN! We watched Last Action Hero, Arnie versus the real world, like he intended!

Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too! Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer.

How will Last Action Hero stand up?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Panel: Nur, Jeremy and Daniel

Mars Attacks

Thu, 12 Aug 2021 00:55:00 -0400

This month Daniel tells me Ack ack aaackkkkk for 45 straight minutes, we watched Mars Attacks! How can Pierce Brosnan still be this sexy?

Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) What is patreon? It is our way of rewarding our biggest fans with additional stuff, like movie episodes, riffs, and our back catalog! Join now for additional stuff at $1, $3, $5, and $10! Or a one time $50 to pick your own flick! What do you unlock? The Alien Franchise: Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien Covenant, the rest of Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince, Hallows part 1 and 2, plus Silver Bullet, The Watchmen, The Lawnmower Man, Demolition Man, True Lies, Van Helsing, The 39 Steps, Baby's Day Out, The 13th Warrior, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, and London Has Fallen! Not to mention movie riffs and much more to come!

How will Mars Attacks stand up?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Panel: Nur, Jeremy and Daniel

X-Men: The Last Stand

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 11:54:48 -0400

This week we kill off half the cast and start over! Unrelated, but has anyone seen Matt? We watched X-Men: The Last Stand! The Dark Phoenix is impossible to get right, there, I said it.

Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) What is patreon? It is our way of rewarding our biggest fans with additional stuff, like movie episodes, riffs, and our back catalog! Join now for additional stuff at $1, $3, $5, and $10! Or a one time $50 to pick your own flick! What do you unlock? The Alien Franchise: Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien Covenant, the rest of Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince, Hallows part 1 and 2, plus Silver Bullet, The Watchmen, The Lawnmower Man, Demolition Man, True Lies, Van Helsing, The 39 Steps, Baby's Day Out, The 13th Warrior, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, and London Has Fallen! Not to mention movie riffs and much more to come!

How will X-Men: The Last Stand stand up?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Panel: Evan, Dan, and Daniel

The Flintstones

Thu, 29 Jul 2021 13:45:29 -0400

This week we discuss the ins and outs of prehistoric capitalism. We watched the Flintstones! Will Fred Flintstone yabba dabba doo it with Halle Berry?

Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) What is patreon? It is our way of rewarding our biggest fans with additional stuff, like movie episodes, riffs, and our back catalog! Join now for additional stuff at $1, $3, $5, and $10! Or a one time $50 to pick your own flick! What do you unlock? The Alien Franchise: Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien Covenant, the rest of Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince, Hallows part 1 and 2, plus Silver Bullet, The Watchmen, The Lawnmower Man, Demolition Man, True Lies, Van Helsing, The 39 Steps, Baby's Day Out, The 13th Warrior, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, and London Has Fallen! Not to mention movie riffs and much more to come!

How will The Flintstones stand up?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Panel: Evan, Matthew, and Daniel

The Abyss

Thu, 22 Jul 2021 17:20:05 -0400

Welcome to Season 8! This month we return to Cameron town for the first time directorially on the main feed with The Abyss, a movie directed so good, Cameron was punched out by Ed Harris on set!

Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) What is patreon? It is our way of rewarding our biggest fans with additional stuff, like movie episodes, riffs, and our back catalog! Join now for additional stuff at $1, $3, $5, and $10! Or a one time $50 to pick your own flick! What do you unlock? The Alien Franchise: Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien Covenant, the rest of Harry Potter: The Half Blood Prince, Hallows part 1 and 2, plus Silver Bullet, The Watchmen, The Lawnmower Man, Demolition Man, True Lies, Van Helsing, The 39 Steps, Baby's Day Out, The 13th Warrior, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, and London Has Fallen! Not to mention movie riffs and much more to come!

How will The Abyss stand up?

Host: Nicolas

Panel: Jeremy, Candace, and Matthew

Space Jam Rerelease

Fri, 16 Jul 2021 00:58:00 -0400

In honor of the new movie coming out, I am rereleasing our third episode on Space Jam. Without my fully developed cynicism, feel free to listen to us as children and fly like an eagle through this attempt to watch Michael Jordan act! If you want to hear me riff this, subscribe to Patreon.com/Cineprov!

Thanks guys!

Looney Tunes - Back in Action

Thu, 15 Jul 2021 00:04:00 -0400

In honor of the release of Space Jam, we are covering that oft forgotten Looney Tunes flick, Looney Tunes: Back in Action. I mean, the pieces are here, Steve Martin, Brendan Frasier, Timothy Dalton, Heather Locklear...Jenna Elfman....never mind, at least Yosemite Sam is here.

Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, and upon release No Time to Die, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (With recent releases The Watchmen and Silver Bullet!!).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Also, tune in for Cineprov’s Space Jam!

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Looney Tunes: Back In Action stand up?

Host: Nicolas

Panel: Daniel, Nur

Judge Dredd

Thu, 08 Jul 2021 11:11:03 -0400

This week on Myopia, we learn a little something about the law. We saw Judge Dredd and we are here to remind you to eat recycled food. It's good for the environment and okay for you!

Join the Patreon (http://patreon.com/myopia)! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (With recent releases The Watchmen and Silver Bullet!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Judge Dredd stand up? It's a lie! The evidence has been falsified! It's impossible! I never broke the law, I AM THE LAW!

Host: Nicolas

Panel: Daniel, Matthew, and Jeremy

Battlefield Earth

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 09:47:25 -0400

This week we punish ourselves for all you man animals, for our 300th movie we watched Battlefield Earth. Consider this leverage!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (With recent releases The Watchmen and Silver Bullet!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Battlefield Earth stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy

Street Fighter

Thu, 24 Jun 2021 11:21:25 -0400

This week we watch JCVD attempt to make up for a mistake with a bigger one. We watched Street Fighter! I wonder what the value of Bison Bucks is to Bitcoin?

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Street Fighter stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Lauren, Nur, Daniel

The Hulk (2003)

Fri, 18 Jun 2021 07:43:20 -0400

This week we join in with a mediocre green superhero movie! No, not Green Lantern...The Hulk! No, not Mark Ruffalo...not Lou Ferrigno...no, not Edward Norton...the Eric Bana one! No? Ang Lee? Hmmmm...Sam Elliott? Fine, the one that looks like a comic book.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will The Hulk stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Daniel, Dan S, and Evan

Bloodsport

Thu, 10 Jun 2021 11:29:52 -0400

This week we crossover with the Cineprov Patreon and cover Bloodsport! The movie that inspired Mortal Kombat and includes tasteful nut trauma!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Hunchback of Notre Dame stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Hunchback of Notre Dame

Thu, 03 Jun 2021 00:58:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we talk about something that Disney sort of left in the vault, we watched the surprisingly dark Hunchback of Notre Dame.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Hunchback of Notre Dame stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Kellie, Daniel, Nur

Osmosis Jones

Thu, 27 May 2021 12:37:24 -0400

This week we get gross, I mean, really gross. We watched Osmosis Jones, children's animation from the guys who made There's Something About Mary.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Osmosis Jones stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Lauren, Daniel, Nur

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Thu, 20 May 2021 00:10:00 -0400

This week, we wonder what it would take to get Guillermo back. We watched Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, He's not a puppet! Howdy Doody's real!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Hellboy 2: The Golden Army stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Candace, Nur, Matthew

Over the Top

Thu, 13 May 2021 18:10:08 -0400

This week we see the movie that inspired the arm wrestling craze, we visit Canon town with Over the Top! Thank God there is a trucker division!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Over the Top stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Nur, Lauren, Matthew

Maximum Overdrive

Thu, 06 May 2021 13:42:59 -0400

This week there were no apple crates in Hollywood, for Emilio Estevez was being an action hero! We watched Maximum Overdrive a movie made with so much cocaine that Stephen King does not remember it's filming.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Maximum Overdrive stand up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Matthew, Jeremy, Nic

Johnny Mnemonic

Fri, 30 Apr 2021 19:43:52 -0400

This week we learn that Keanu Reeves can store about as much memory as the biggest iPod. We watched Johnny Mnemonic, Hit Me!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Johnny Mnemonic stand up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Nur, Charlie, Jeremy, Nic

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Thu, 22 Apr 2021 00:40:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we get in the mood for the new Mortal Kombat movie with the bloodless Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, a movie that is the porn parody of itself.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Mortal Kombat: Annihilation Hold Up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Chris, Matthew, Nur

300 (2006)

Wed, 14 Apr 2021 19:20:00 -0400

This week, we get all grease up and pretend to be Greek! We watched 300, probably one of the gayest films we have ever done.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will 300 Hold Up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Charlie, Jeremy, Nur

Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend

Thu, 08 Apr 2021 00:19:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we manifest the hell out of some destiny! We watched Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend, the origin story of Champ!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will the Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend Hold Up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Jon, Jeremy, Matthew, Daniel

King Kong (2005)

Thu, 25 Mar 2021 21:36:31 -0400

This week we watch a huge, hairy, terrifying Jack Black! We saw King Kong (2005), I imagine the truest movie about how Richard Attenborough made nature documentaries.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will the King Kong Hold Up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Matthew, Jeremy, Nur

The Princess Diaries

Thu, 18 Mar 2021 15:12:22 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we class up the place! We watched the Princess Diaries, the time Julie Andrews danced with Hector Elizondo, steaming hot.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will the Princess Diaries Hold Up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Charlie, Jeremy, Matthew

13 Going on 30

Thu, 11 Mar 2021 15:58:53 -0500

This month we learn that sometimes nerds turn into Mark Ruffalo! We watched 13 Going on 30, Big for the ladies!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (Check out 39 Steps, Austin Powers, Thomas Crown Affair, and True Lies, plus more!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We finished the Harry Potter Films and this month cover Demolition Man!!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will the 13 Going on 30 Hold Up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Fitzy, Lauren, Nur

Cobra

Thu, 04 Mar 2021 13:09:47 -0500

This week we take out our pizza scissors, we watched Cobra! If crime is the disease, are you the cure?

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will the Cobra Hold Up?

Host: Nic
Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Adam

The Man in the Iron Mask

Thu, 25 Feb 2021 01:00:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we see Gerard Depardieu's butt! We watched The Man in the Iron Mask, the film where a Frenchman, an Irishman, an American, and a Brit, play the four French Musketeers, and swear to protect the French king played by an American.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will the Man in the Iron Mask Hold Up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Nur, Candace

What Women Want

Thu, 18 Feb 2021 00:01:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies we learn that stealing a woman's ideas help you succeed! We watched What Women Want, the movie where Mel Gibson can hear women and female dogs...yup.

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will What Women Want hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Fitzy, Nur

Daredevil

Thu, 11 Feb 2021 09:41:18 -0500

The week we watch a real classy Valentines release, Daredevil! The movie that made Ben Affleck say he would never do a comic book movie. again..the first time.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Daredevil hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Dan, and Evan

The Last Unicorn

Thu, 04 Feb 2021 11:29:33 -0500

This week we learn that Rankin and Bass did more than just Rudolph, we watched the Last Unicorn!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Last Unicorn hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren, Daniel, and Kellie

Space Cowboys

Thu, 28 Jan 2021 00:12:00 -0500

This week we shoot a bunch of old people into space to spite John Glenn. We watched Space Cowboys, the only the film bold enough to watch William Devane chew for 90 minutes!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Space Cowboys hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Lauren, Daniel, Matthew

Dick Tracy

Thu, 21 Jan 2021 11:04:24 -0500

This week the folks from Cineprov cover 1990's Dick Tracy (you can get our Riff on it either with a donation to Cineprov or joining the Myopia Patreon). In the meantime, join us for the only PG rated movie where you can see Madonna completely naked! We watched Dick Tracy, Batman 1989 for babies!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Dick Tracy hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Candace, Fitzy, Evan

King Arthur (2004)

Thu, 14 Jan 2021 00:00:00 -0500

This week, we watch Clive Owen once again just miss stardom. We saw King Arthur, who knew history could be this boring...

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will King Arthur hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Jeremy

Timecop

Wed, 06 Jan 2021 21:58:39 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch a significantly better movie about stopping thieves in a mall than Wonder Woman 1984, we watched buns of steel, I mean Timecop. All Belgians can do the splits, I just choose not to.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Timecop hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jon, Jeremy

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Thu, 31 Dec 2020 18:03:39 -0500

Happy New Year and may 2021 be a great year for you and yours! This week we end the non-Patreon Harry Potter series with Myron of the Atlanta Podcast (on Twitter @TheATLPodcast) as Kellie guides us through Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! You may not like him, Minister, but you can't deny: Dumbledore's got style.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) The Harry Potter series will be completed at the $5 level!

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix hold up?

Host: Kellie

Panel: Myron, Daniel, and Nic

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Sat, 26 Dec 2020 14:17:59 -0500

This week, Daniel Radcliffe valiantly tries to prevent the Twilight series by attempting to keep alive Cedric Diggory. We watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, can someone get a barber to set?

Just wanted to take a moment in this chaotic time of year in a chaotic year to thank you all personally for your support. We at Myopia Movies appreciate your our listeners, or Patreon Members and our fans. Thanks and Happy Holidays!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire hold up

Host: Kellie

Panel: Daniel, Teagan, and Nic

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Thu, 17 Dec 2020 09:09:09 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we tell spiders we don't want to tap dance. We watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, honestly how can people be in two places at once?

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month until February we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban hold up

Host: Kellie

Panel: Daniel, Teagan, and Nic

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Thu, 10 Dec 2020 19:36:50 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, Kellie tells us what exactly is the function of a rubber duck? We watched Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, It's not much, but it's home.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Kellie

Panel: Daniel, Teagan, and Nic

13th Warrior Patreon Preview

Mon, 07 Dec 2020 00:36:00 -0500

Welcome! If you are receiving this on the main feed and are surprised, join the Patreon! A couple months back, we watched Antonio Banderas play an Arab, join with Vikings, to fight monsters! You know it is good when they fire the director of Die Hard and replace him with author Michael Crichton. Woo!

If you want to hear more like this, we will keep bringing you the main feed, but there is more on the Patreon, including extra episodes, movie riffs, and more!

Thanks,

Nic

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Jon, and Jeremy.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Thu, 03 Dec 2020 09:35:24 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, Kellie takes over the month of December so we can cover to whole Harry Potter Series! This week, we learn we are wizards from a gruff giant, we watched Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone! Alas, earwax.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month we we will cover the final three Harry Potter Films Here!).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Kellie

Panel: Daniel, Teagan, and Nic

Van Helsing - Patreon Freebie

Mon, 30 Nov 2020 00:59:00 -0500

Hello! This is a strange brew situation. This movie has all the fixin's of something we may like, Hugh Jackman, director of the Mummy, and interesting characters, like Abraham Van Helsing and Dracula. Then this movie shits the bed. Similarly, to us. We planned this, there was an issue with recording, so we are giving it away for free, enjoy! Check out the full version here! Thanks, Nic

Plains, Trains, and Automobiles

Thu, 26 Nov 2020 00:35:00 -0500

Happy Thanksgiving, today we celebrate the season and start bawling like a child. We watched Plains, Trains, and Automobiles, man I miss John Candy.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (This month we covered Baby's Day Out and next month we have a theme!).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jeremy and Candace

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Patreon Preview!

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 00:26:00 -0500

You asked for it! The Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is now on patreon, has been for a while in fact. Soon, we will have Candace on to talk Trek as we do a Star Trek V Commentary. In the mean time, enjoy this sample from Patreon. For the price of a few pay-to-win iPhone game tokens, you can support your friends here!

This month on the Patreon exclusive Myopia Movies episode, we save some whales! We watched Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, a Star Trek rom com.

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, and Matthew

Short Circuit 2

Thu, 19 Nov 2020 00:18:00 -0500

This week on Myopia Movies, we visit the family friendly side of the military industrial complex with just a dash of brown face. We watched Short Circuit 2, I know Johnny, but are any of us truly alive?

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (Last month we covered the 13th Warrior and on this vampire themed October we are covering From Dusk til Dawn).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jeremy and Candace

Ace Venture: Pet Detective

Wed, 11 Nov 2020 21:47:51 -0500

This week on Myopia Movie, we remember a great comedian and get grossed out by his transphobia. We watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, knowing his stance on vaccines, the talking ass is appropriate.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (Last month we covered the 13th Warrior and on this vampire themed October we are covering From Dusk til Dawn).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Nur and Matthew

Bram Stoker's Dracula

Thu, 05 Nov 2020 00:56:00 -0500

This week we round out a month of vampire flicks with the most true attempt to retell the tale, We watched Bram Stoker's Dracula, come for the butthead hair cut, stay for Wynona Rider sucking off Gary Oldman. You heard me.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (Last month we covered the 13th Warrior and on this vampire themed October we are covering From Dusk til Dawn).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Daniel, and Matthew

Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 21:12:02 -0400

This week we take a quick sojourn away from our vampire month, to get into the Halloweeny spirit. With only three more days til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, three more days til Halloween, we visit Silver Shamrock! We watched Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, a doctor's journey with horny alcoholism.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (Last month we covered the 13th Warrior and on this vampire themed October we are covering From Dusk til Dawn).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, and Matthew

From Dusk Til Dawn

Wed, 21 Oct 2020 21:23:34 -0400

This week we watch a surprise vampire flick! So many surprises! Quentin Tarantino as a lead actor? Sure! Vampires only in the third act? Why not! Vampire Strip club? Who are you, Blade? We saw From Dusk til Dawn, Okay hard drinkers, let's drink hard. I'm buyin'!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (Last month we covered the 13th Warrior and on this vampire themed October we are covering From Dusk til Dawn).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, and Matthew

Queen of the Damned

Thu, 15 Oct 2020 00:05:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the only music great enough to wake a Vampire is Korn. We watched a nu-metal movie for our nu episode, Queen of the Damned, the disappointing sequel to Interview with the Vampire. Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (Last month we covered the 13th Warrior and on this vampire themed October we are covering From Dusk til Dawn).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Nic

Panel: Charlie, Daniel, and Nur

Twilight

Thu, 08 Oct 2020 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we see what all the fuss is about! We watched Twilight, our first black and white film. Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (Last month we covered the 13th Warrior and on this vampire themed October we are covering From Dusk til Dawn).

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jeremy, and Matthew

Blade Trinity

Thu, 01 Oct 2020 00:10:00 -0400

This spooky month, we are watching only Vampire films starting with this one! This week on Myopia Movies was saw Blade Trinity, a movie so boring we had to watch it twice because everyone fell asleep watching it. Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers) For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog. For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!) For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies) For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. We have up riffs by Cineprov including Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Wasp Woman, and Batman Forever. We have a Myopia Commentary on Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie. For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited). Also, because you love us, find us everywhere! Like Facebook! Or the Facebook Fan Group! Or Twitter! Or Letterboxd! Or the Fancy Website! We are also available wherever you are too! Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, TuneIn and Alexa, Podbean, Listen Notes, YouTube, everywhere! Coming soon to Pandora, iHeartRadio, and Deezer. How will Blade Trinity hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Charlie, and Nur

Catwoman

Thu, 24 Sep 2020 00:31:00 -0400

Hey all! Welcome to episode 250, woooooooooooooooooooooo! woo! According to Chartable, in the past year, we have charted in nearly three dozen countries. According to our downloads, tens of thousands of you are listening. We have a Patreon with patrons. Thanks! To celebrate, we watched Esquire Magazine's 2008 Sexiest Woman Alive eat tuna from a can and lick cream from a Collins glass. We watched Catwoman, oh, I have wasted my life.

Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Catwoman hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jeremy, and Matthew

Beer Fest

Thu, 17 Sep 2020 00:10:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we celebrate the beginning of Fall the only way we know how, with a festival. We watched Beer Fest, in real life, the Canadians win this....weird.

Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning to weekly! For now just your regular weekly episodes, right? WRONG!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Beer Fest hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Bobby, Daniel, and Jon

Angels in the Outfield

Thu, 10 Sep 2020 00:07:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we learn Christopher Lloyd is as magical as we all knew he was. We watched Angels in the Outfield (1994), who'd have thought Tony Danza's career only had months left at the time.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Angels in the Outfield hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Nur and Matthew

Twister

Wed, 02 Sep 2020 22:52:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we learned about the 'suck zone' without fear of reprisal. We watched Twister, in this stormy season, is this too on the nose?

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Twister hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Nur and Matthew

The Thomas Crown Affair Patreon Preview

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 00:20:00 -0400

This week on Mission Briefing, we thought we were going to watch a crime thriller, whoops. We saw the Thomas Crown Affair!

How will The Thomas Crown Affair hold up?

Host: Jon

Panel: Daniel, Nic

Star Wars Attack Of The Clones Commentary Sample

Sat, 29 Aug 2020 15:01:09 -0400

Hello! Take a watch of a sample of our first commentary track! This is not a Mystery Science Theater 3000 or Riff Trax style riff, more akin to a directors commentary track. As promised before CoVid, the first is on the only Prequel we have not covered, Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones, frankly, I am a fan of sand. If you want to see the whole thing, consider joining the patreon at the $10 level for four commentaries a year! Host: Nic Panel: Evan and Daniel https://patreon.com/myopia

2012 (Roland Emmerich)

Thu, 27 Aug 2020 08:12:27 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, the world gets destroyed by some CGI! We saw 2012, John Cusack action hero? Sure, why not.

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars – Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will 2012 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jeremy and Matthew

Terminator 3

Thu, 20 Aug 2020 00:02:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we bomb the universe! We saw Terminator 3, the movie progressive enough to call its female villain the Terminatrix.

Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning to weekly! No more quarantine side project as we finished the Twilight Zone Zone on Monday. For now just your regular weekly episodes, right? WRONG!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars - Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Terminator 3 hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jeremy and Matthew

Jason X

Thu, 13 Aug 2020 00:09:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, it is Thursday the 13th, so we are watching something that is almost a Friday the 13th Movie, we saw Jason X! You know the one were Kane Hodder boldly plays TWO characters, Jason Voorhees / Uber Jason.

Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning to weekly! No more quarantine side project as we finished the Twilight Zone Zone on Monday. For now just your regular weekly episodes, right? WRONG!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars - Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Jason X hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Jeremy and Matthew

Star Trek (2009)

Thu, 06 Aug 2020 00:05:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we recast Captain Kirk and are just fine with it. We watched Star Trek 2009, the Beastie Boys are timeless!

Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning to weekly! No more quarantine side project as we finished the Twilight Zone Zone on Monday. For now just your regular weekly episodes, right? WRONG!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars - Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

How will Star Trek (2009) hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

AVP Requiem

Thu, 30 Jul 2020 00:10:00 -0400

Welcome to Season 7 of Myopia Movies! To start with, we have fully switched over the name, no one needs to defend their past anymore, the world is already too weird. Second, we are returning to weekly! No more quarantine side project as we finished the Twilight Zone Zone on Monday. For now just your regular weekly episodes, right? WRONG!

Join the Patreon! There are tiers to that will help us keep doing what we are doing! (Each tier unlocks all lower tiers)

For $1: You get the monthly newsletter that announces the upcoming movies and you get Mission Briefing Back Catalog.

For $3: You get the entire back catalog and a new Mission Briefing every other month. (There are already two up!)

For $5: You get a bonus episode a month (on top of the Mission Briefing) (We just did all the Alien Movies)

For $10: You get syncable commentary tracks. The first one will come out next month and will be Star Wars - Episode II: Attack of the Clone. Note: This is audio you sync with the movie.

For $50: You get to pick a movie we cover. (Note: This tier is limited).

This week on Myopia Movies, what are all these sexy teens doing in my Predator movie? We watched AVP Requiem, the one where the government finally tries nukes on these assholes.

How will AVP Requiem hold up?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

The Twilight Zone Zone - Episode 13: “To Serve Man” and “The Dummy”

Sun, 26 Jul 2020 22:17:33 -0400

“To Serve Man”

Kanamits, nine-foot-tall creatures from outer space, promise they have come to our planet, “above all things, to help the people of Earth.” They have no ulterior motive, they reassure: “We ask only that you trust us.” Which leads to The Twilight Zone’s darkest and most famous punch line. This episode is also notable for inspiring the aliens Kodos and Kang on The Simpsons.

“The Dummy”

It’s a battle of wills between Jerry (Cliff Robertson), a second-rate nightclub ventriloquist, and Willie, 24 inches of timber, who Jerry is convinced is alive. “He talks when I don’t talk. He tells jokes I’ve never heard before,” he insists to his long-suffering agent (a pre-Gomer Pyle Frank Sutton). Unsteadying expressionistic camerawork by director Abner Biberman anticipates which personality will win out with an absolutely creepy final shot.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone…

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Alien Covenant (Preview)

Thu, 23 Jul 2020 15:16:23 -0400

This week on the Myopia Movie Patreon exclusive episode, we complete the Alien Saga with Alien Covenant! Two Michael Fassbenders? Is this the best one?

Want to hear the whole thing? Join the Patreon! For just $5 a month, you can get the entire back catalog, an extra movie a month, and an extra Mission Briefing every other month!

In the meantime, please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here (including Predator!)

How will Alien Covenant stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Panel: Daniel, Jeremy and Matthew

Twilight Zone Zone Episode 12: “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” and “Nothing in the Dark”

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 16:31:58 -0400

Every week on The Twilight Zone Zone,we go down Donald Liebenson’s list The 26 Episodes We Talk About When We Talk About The Twilight Zone from Vanity Fair, chronologically by release date and compare two episodes and choose which one to recommend. This week we watched “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” and “Nothing in the Dark.”

“Five Characters in Search of an Exit”

The setup is a little bit Saw and a little bit Waiting for Godot: an Army major (William Windom) finds himself in a circular enclosure with no doors, no windows, and no ceiling. He has no idea who he is or how he got there. And he’s not alone; present, but more resigned to their situations, are a clown, a ballerina, a hobo, and a bagpiper. This episode gives new meaning to the eternal question, “Why are we here?” Your mileage may vary as to the ultimate answer, but the questions posed (“How long will we be here?” “What’s up there?”) are profound in or out of The Twilight Zone.

“Nothing in the Dark”

Many actors got their start on the Zone—none more famously than Robert Redford, who appears here as a policeman who is shot outside of the door of an elderly woman who refuses to leave her condemned apartment for fear of being taken by “Mr. Death.” For more before-they-were-big moments, see Robert Duvall in “Miniature,” Burt Reynolds in “The Bard,” and Charles Bronson in “Two.”

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone…

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Matthew, Jeremy and Daniel

Predator 2

Fri, 17 Jul 2020 21:38:30 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watched Danny Glover clean up the streets, which, I assume, is why he is the President in 2012. We watched Predator 2, why did Men in Black not star Gary Busey?

If you have not yet, check out the Patreon! We have old episodes and special episodes that are exclusive! Check in to hear us talk about the Alien franchise!

How will Predator 2 stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Twilight Zone Zone Episode 11: “Deaths-Head Revisited” and "The Midnight Son"

Mon, 13 Jul 2020 21:22:22 -0400

Every week on The Twilight Zone Zone,we go down Donald Liebenson’s list The 26 Episodes We Talk About When We Talk About The Twilight Zone from Vanity Fair, chronologically by release date and compare two episodes and choose which one to recommend. This week we watched “Deaths-Head Revisited” and "The Midnight Son" The Obsolete Man”/“Deaths-Head Revisited”

A tie: these are two Serling-penned episodes whose messages feel distressingly relevant. In the first, Burgess Meredith stars as a librarian deemed obsolete by the totalitarian state and sentenced to death, though he gets to choose his manner of execution. In the second, a former SS captain returns to Dachau, where he encounters a former prisoner. These episodes are Serling at his most impassioned. When it comes to ideologies that fail to recognize the rights and dignity of man, or a race determined to “turn the Earth into a graveyard,” metaphor alone won’t cut it.

“The Midnight Sun”

The Earth has changed its elliptical orbit and is headed toward the sun. In an abandoned New York apartment building, two women try to stave off their fate and retain their humanity. This is one of the most viscerally felt Twilight Zone episodes. You jump when a precious can of fruit juice is accidentally dropped; you sweat when the power operating the air conditioning is shut off; and you melt like paint on a canvas as a thermometer shatters. And then comes the episode’s switcheroo, which is so, so cold.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone…

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Austin Powers (Preview)

Fri, 10 Jul 2020 16:07:35 -0400

Hello there! For our Patreon supporters, we have covered for Mission Briefing Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery! Enjoy a sample here, but if you are interested in the whole thing and the back-catalog, and our Alien series, join us!

How will Austin Powers stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic and Daniel

The Twilight Zone Zone - Episode 10: "The Grave” and “It’s a Good Life”

Thu, 09 Jul 2020 18:11:35 -0400

“The Grave”

Months before Lee Marvin, Strother Martin, and Lee Van Cleef starred in John Ford’s classic Western The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, they co-starred in this episode, a Western ghost story (ghostern?) about a gunman who is dared to make a midnight visit to the grave of the freshly gunned-down killer he relentlessly pursued but failed to capture. It boasts a great script, eerie atmosphere, and Lee Marvin at his Lee Marvin-est (“I don’t get my nerve from this gun . . . I had it long before I could even pick one of them up”). And the ending is a real grabber.

“It’s a Good Life”

The twist is revealed right up top: the monster who has made the world go away, save for his rural Ohio village, is a six-year-old boy (Bill Mumy) who can read thoughts, control even the weather with his mind, and transform those who would wish him harm into “grotesque walking horror.” Demon kids are always creepy, but this episode plays like the ultimate nightmare of a society destroyed by the spoiled children of overindulgent parents. (Yes, The Simpsons did this one, too, with Bart as the monster.)

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone…

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Prometheus (Preview)

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 22:11:52 -0400

This week we leave the traditional Alien Franchise, but return to the sweet and confident embrace of Ridley Scott for an art film with a bonkers ending.

Host: Nic

Panel: Jeremy, Daniel

The Twilight Zone Zone - Episode 9: “The Obsolete Man” and “A Game of Pool”

Mon, 29 Jun 2020 11:56:32 -0400

“The Obsolete Man”

Burgess Meredith stars as a librarian deemed obsolete by the totalitarian state and sentenced to death, though he gets to choose his manner of execution.

“A Game of Pool”

A sure-bet episode featuring two stellar performances by Jack Klugman and Jonathan Winters, playing it straight and cool as the late “Fats” Brown, a champion pool player who takes Klugman’s Randolph Street pool jockey at his word when he says he would do anything for just one game against the dead legend. This episode boasts some great dialogue (“Nothing’s impossible; some things are less likely than others”), and sage observations about the risks needed to become a champion and the responsibilities of carrying on a legacy.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone…

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Matthew, Jeremy and Daniel

Little Giants

Thu, 25 Jun 2020 00:30:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watch Ed O'Neill fight Rick Moranis and we all learn a little something about....well, I could have sworn I learned something....We saw Little Giants, do you think nicknaming a preteen girl "Ice Box" could lead to neurosis?

If you have not yet, check out the Patreon! We have old episodes and special episodes that are exclusive! Check in to hear us talk about the Alien franchise!

How will Little Giants hold up when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Lauren and Matthew

The Twilight Zone Zone - Episode 8: "The Long Distance Call” and “Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?”

Mon, 22 Jun 2020 00:07:00 -0400

Every week on The Twilight Zone Zone,we go down Donald Liebenson’s list The 26 Episodes We Talk About When We Talk About The Twilight Zone from Vanity Fair, chronologically by release date and compare two episodes and choose which one to recommend. This week we watched "The Long Distance Call” and “Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?”

“Long Distance Call”

You can explore the vast reaches of The Twilight Zone and not find an episode as profoundly messed up as this one. On her deathbed, a five-year-old boy’s grandmother bemoans how lonely she will be “far away,” and wishes aloud that her beloved Billy could go with her. Worst. Grandma. Ever.

“Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?”

Take mysterious footprints leading away from a pond where an unidentified flying object has crashed, a snowbound diner, and six (or was that seven?) stranded bus passengers, and you’ve got yourself a “regular Ray Bradbury.” Which one of them is the monster from outer space? This entertaining episode plays like a supernatural William Saroyan play (complete with a colorful coot portrayed by Jack Elam), with one of the series’s most famous reveals.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone…

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Matt and Daniel

The Twilight Zone Zone – Episode 7: "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" and "The Living Doll"

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 17:49:16 -0400

Every week on The Twilight Zone Zone,we go down Donald Liebenson’s list The 26 Episodes We Talk About When We Talk About The Twilight Zone from Vanity Fair, chronologically by release date and compare two episodes and choose which one to recommend. This week we watched "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" and "The Living Doll." We are always joined this week by guest Ben Worcester (co-host of the Hooked on TJ Hooker Podcast, check it out for more William Shatner talk!)

“Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”

The Twilight Zone knows what scares you—like flying, or the desperation you might feel when when you’re the only one who knows of an impending disaster, but no one believes you. One of the series’s most famous episodes mostly gets its rep from the before-he-was-Kirk casting of William Shatner, as a man just released from a mental hospital who tries to—wait for it—klingon to his sanity when he spies outside his window seat a monster tearing at the airborne airplane’s wing. The costumed boogeyman hasn’t aged well, but Shatner is first class.

“Living Doll”

June Foray, the voice of Rocket J. Squirrel and Natasha Fatale on The Bullwinkle Show, was the also the original voice of Chatty Cathy, the iconic pull-string talking doll released by Mattel in 1959. Chatty Cathy said sweet things like, “Let’s play house.” But Talky Tina, also voiced by Foray, says things like, “My name is Talky Tina, and I’m going to kill you.” This she says to Telly Savalas, a grumpy new stepdad who resents his stepdaughter’s new doll. Like Tina warns, he’ll be sorry.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone…

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Ben Worcester

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Thu, 11 Jun 2020 00:04:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we watch the classic film about shrinkage, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids! I cannot wait for Rick Moranis to return to acting!

If you have not yet, check out the Patreon! We have old episodes and special episodes that are exclusive! Check in to hear us talk about the Alien franchise!

How will Honey, I Shrunk the Kids hold up when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Lauren and Matthew

The Twilight Zone Zone - Episode 6: "Eye of the Beholder" and "Twenty Two"

Mon, 08 Jun 2020 00:05:00 -0400

“Eye of the Beholder”

A desperate woman, her face encased in bandages, is awaiting the outcome of her 11th operation to make her look “normal.” “I want to be like everybody,” she pleads. In a state where “ugliness” is a crime, she faces segregation to a ghetto with other unfortunates like herself. Douglas Heyes’s artful misdirection keeps the quintessential Zone reveal under wraps.

“Twenty Two”

This episode offered a plum role to Barbara Nichols, often cast in films as brassy comic relief (as in Where the Boys Are). Here, she plays a stripper (excuse me; professional dancer) hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. She is haunted by a recurring dream—or is it?—that brings her to the door of room 22, the hospital morgue, where a nurse greets her by saying, “Room for one more, honey.”

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone…

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel and Jeremy

The Twilight Zone Zone - Episode 5: “A World of His Own” and “The Howling Man”

Mon, 01 Jun 2020 16:30:44 -0400

Every week on The Twilight Zone Zone,we go down Donald Liebenson's list The 26 Episodes We Talk About When We Talk About The Twilight Zone from Vanity Fair, chronologically by release date and compare two episodes and choose which one to recommend. This week we watched “A World of His Own” and “The Howling Man.”

From the Article:

“A Nice Place to Visit”

The Twilight Zone also delighted in dicking around characters in need of retribution. Another case in point: Rocky Valentine, a petty criminal shot to death. A jovial guide (Sebastian Cabot) in the afterlife tends to his every desire, giving him a swinging pad, sure-thing bank robberies, and beautiful dolls on demand. Sounds like heaven, right? This was the first episode to employ a classic Twilight Zone trope, in which the come-upper gets the last maniacal laugh at the eternal expense of the come-upped. (See also on this list: “The Grave” and “Will the Real Martian Please Stand Up?”)

“The Howling Man”

You’re lost in a torrential storm. You seek refuge in a foreboding castle. Inside are members of some kind of fanatical religious cult that is keeping a man imprisoned. The cult leader insists the man is actually the devil himself. Who are you going to believe: the desperate man pleading to be set free, or a staff-carrying John Carradine?

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone...

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel, Jon and Matthew Quinn

Transformers

Thu, 28 May 2020 00:05:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Movies, we look back and we see how Michael Bay made his millions and why Matt wanted to remake this lost episode, we watched Transformers, who knew you could sexualize teens this much and still be considered a blockbuster.

Last week we released an episode preview for Casino Royale (1967), sign up for the Patreon for the full episode! Join us, for all the back catalog, special episodes, and monthly newsletter! There will even be an additional full movie episode this month, as we slip into more recent Alien movies, starting with Prometheus next month!

How will Transformers hold up when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Casino Royale (1967) Preview

Thu, 21 May 2020 15:54:19 -0400

Why hello there! This is a peak behind the Patreon paywall! Today, if you were a Patreon member (even at the $1 level, you would get a full episode on 1967's Casino Royale, the Bond spoof no one wanted, even some of the actors. Peter Sellers (who left midway through production), David Niven, Orson Welles (who insists on doing magic on film, which then loses the point, since it is on film), Woody Allen, Deborah Kerr, William Holden, and John Huston (who is one of the five directors). Even costarring former Bond actors including Ursula Andres.

Sign up for the Patreon for the full episode of 1967’s Casino Royale for the Patreon only! Join us, for all the back catalog, special episodes, and monthly newsletter! There will even be an additional full movie episode this month, as we slip into more recent Alien movies, starting with Prometheus.

Host: Jon

Panel: Nic

The Twilight Zone Zone - Episode 4: “A Nice Place to Visit” and “The After Hours”

Mon, 18 May 2020 21:53:05 -0400

This week, there is going to be a Patreon bonus! Regular Jon called in for a special Mission Briefing episode! Sign up for the Patreon for 1967's Casino Royale for the Patreon only! Join us, for all the back catalog, special episodes, and monthly newsletter! There will even be an additional full movie episode this month!

“A Nice Place to Visit”

“The After Hours”

A.k.a. the “Marsha episode.” Anne Francis stars as a department-store shopper who gets some very off-putting service by a strange clerk when she purchases a thimble on the otherwise-completely empty ninth floor. Her eerie odyssey begins when she complains to management, only to be told that the store has no ninth floor. Locked in overnight, she will come face to face with her reality.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone...

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel and Matthew Quinn

Pee-wee's Big Adventure

Fri, 15 May 2020 17:42:57 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we try to get a man's bike back. We watched Pee-wee's Big Adventure, some say Pee-wee's bike is still out there...wait, Tim Burton directed what?

Hey there beautiful, our Patreon is now live. For the past five and a half years, we have offered content, which has not only improved, but trained me in comedy and gathered lots of fans, thousands of downloads, and tens of thousands of streams. As a way to reward those who want more content and keep this show viable, we are offering a Patreon with extra episodes, exclusive content and much more. In the mean time, some old stuff is going behind the paywall while we gather funds for an editor to fix them and 100 hours of exclusive content and a building archive of never before heard stuff.

How will Pee-wee's Big Adventure stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, and Adam

The Twilight Zone - Episode 3: “The Hitch-Hiker” and “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street”

Mon, 11 May 2020 10:37:18 -0400

By the way, some of you may be wondering, where the episode was last week? Well, last week we released a full episode on Alien Resurrection for the Patreon only! Join us, for all the back catalogue, special episodes, and monthly newsletter! There will even be an additional full movie episode this month!

From the Article:

“The Hitch-Hiker”

One of The Twilight Zone’s most insinuating nightmares. There are a couple of effective jump starts, but for the most part, this is a slow dread of an episode. Inger Stevens stars as 27-year-old Nan Adams, driving cross-country. Emerging unscathed from a blown-out tire (“By rights . . . somebody should have called for a hearse,” a mechanic tells her), she is haunted by a seemingly omnipresent hitchhiker. You can probably guess where this one’s heading, but like the “shabby, silly-looking scarecrow man” himself, this episode is hard to shake.

“The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street"

“We are in a time where we fear the other,” Jordan Peele told his audience following the premiere screening of Us at South by Southwest. “Maybe the monster that we’re looking at has our face.” This was a recurring theme on The Twilight Zone—and it reached its bleakest apotheosis in this first-season nightmare, in which an idyllic suburban street runs riot from a creeping paranoia that pits neighbor against neighbor. “For the record,” Serling intones at the episode’s end, “prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy . . . and the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to the ‘Twilight Zone.’” It’s like Serling was looking right into our souls.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone...

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel and Matthew Quinn

Alien Resurrection (Preview)

Mon, 04 May 2020 18:07:00 -0400

Well, you know how at first, the party is novel? The second time its different, but great? Well, this is day four and you don't know if it is the same century or not. Welcome to Alien Resurrection, a hangover of a movie.

Host: Nic

Panel: Daniel, Matt and Adam

The Twilight Zone Zone - Episode 2: "“Time Enough at Last” and “Third from the Sun”

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 18:03:44 -0400

From the article:

“Time Enough at Last”

Burgess Meredith gives a tour-de-force performance as a milquetoast bespectacled bookworm married to a shrew (again with the shrews!) who denies him his precious reading time. An atomic explosion leaves him the last man on Earth, with all the time in the world. He joyously finds his lifesaving Eden—but The Twilight Zone wasn’t big on happy endings. Along with the episode “Night Call,” this is possibly the series’s cruelest half-hour.

“Third from the Sun”

On “the eve of the end,” with a nuclear holocaust a mere 48 hours away, two scientists and their families plan to escape on an experimental spaceship. Their getaway, under the suspicious and watchful eye of their superior, is the meat of this tense episode—but strap yourself in for the reveal, one of the series’s best.

Our Patreon is now live. For the past five and a half years, we have offered content, which has not only improved, but trained me in comedy and gathered lots of fans, thousands of downloads, and tens of thousands of streams. As a way to reward those who want more content and keep this show viable, we are offering a Patreon with extra episodes, exclusive content and much more. In the mean time, some old stuff is going behind the paywall while we gather funds for an editor to fix them and 100 hours of exclusive content and a building archive of never before heard stuff.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone...

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel and Matthew Quinn

The Wizard

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 22:26:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watch the l'ilest Rain Man. We saw The Wizard, so like the Power Glove was a complete waste of everyone's time, right?

How will The Wizard stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Evan, and Matthew

The Twilight Zone Zone Episode 1: “One for the Angels” and "Walking Distance"

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 13:13:49 -0400

Every week on The Twilight Zone Zone, we go down Donald Liebenson's list The 26 Episodes We Talk About When We Talk About The Twilight Zone from Vanity Fair, chronologically by release date and compare two episodes and choose which one to recommend. This week we watched “One for the Angels” and "Walking Distance."

From the article:

“One for the Angels”
Throughout the series, Serling and company displayed great compassion for society’s seemingly commonplace and unimportant denizens. Case in point: Sidewalk pitchman Lou Bookman (a perfectly cast Ed Wynn), who outwits Death to earn a stay on Earth—but at what price? The Twilight Zone could make you scream, but there are several episodes, like this one, that can also make you cry.

“Walking Distance”
Gig Young stars as Martin Sloan, age 36, an ad man “living in a dead run,” who finds himself back in his hometown during the summer when he was 11 years old. This is the best of Serling’s midlife-crisis reveries—certainly more optimistic than the downbeat “A Stop at Willoughby.” Between Serling’s poetic closing narration and Bernard Herrmann’s moving score, if you cried at the end of Field of Dreams, this episode will wreck you.

our Patreon is now live. For the past five and a half years, we have offered content, which has not only improved, but trained me in comedy and gathered lots of fans, thousands of downloads, and tens of thousands of streams. As a way to reward those who want more content and keep this show viable, we are offering a Patreon with extra episodes, exclusive content and much more. In the mean time, some old stuff is going behind the paywall while we gather funds for an editor to fix them and 100 hours of exclusive content and a building archive of never before heard stuff.

There are many paths in life, but which one will you travel down in the Twilight Zone, Zone...

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel and Matthew Quinn

Emergency Podcast!

Sat, 18 Apr 2020 18:07:13 -0400

Dear Friends and well wishers!

Did you know there a pandemic on? Well, the boys here sure caught on! They invited former (and future) guest Candace to shoot the breeze and provide an update for the show, thank the Patrons, and explain a new and upcoming show, The Twilight Zone Zone!

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel, Matthew and Candace.

Alien 3 (Preview)

Fri, 10 Apr 2020 18:19:00 -0400

Dear All!

Welcome from the Bunker! We are social distancing and have burned through all of the back catalog of our favorite shows and realized we were late here! Don't worry though, we are planning fun new stuff to share with you and keeping it afloat! Stay safe and healthy!

This month on the Patreon's only feed, we attempt to breathe fresh life into the franchise by going in a new direction and go too far! It's Aliens 3, turns out the Heaven's Gate Cult made it to space!

Host: Nic

Panel: Steve, Matt, and Daniel

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

Thu, 09 Apr 2020 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia Podcast, we are doing the movie you have wanted us to cover for years now and I've got a bad feeling about this. We watched the Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, and meesa thinks this may be the best prequel.

That being said, our Patreon is now live. For the past five and a half years, we have offered content, which has not only improved, but trained me in comedy and gathered lots of fans, thousands of downloads, and tens of thousands of streams. As a way to reward those who want more content and keep this show viable, we are offering a Patreon with extra episodes, exclusive content and much more. In the mean time, some old stuff is going behind the paywall while we gather funds for an editor to fix them and 100 hours of exclusive content and a building archive of never before heard stuff.

How will Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Leprechaun IV: In Space

Thu, 26 Mar 2020 15:56:35 -0400

This week on Myopia Podcast, we are going stir crazy with you as we watched Leprechaun IV: In Space for St Patrick's Day! Wait, it was how long ago? Eeesh, what have I been doing.... This is a followup to another Cineprov show as well!

How will Leprechaun IV: In Space! stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Cool As Ice

Sat, 14 Mar 2020 17:07:41 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we leave the zero and get with the hero! We watched Cool As Ice, Robert Matthew Van Winkle foray into acting! Or Rebel without an Actor.

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Aliens (Preview)

Fri, 06 Mar 2020 18:22:00 -0500

This month's exclusive Patreon episode is actually a pretty damn good movie. We watched bad-ass ladies and one child in Aliens! An action movie brought to you by Jim Cameron nonsense.

Panel: Nic and Daniel

Rush Hour

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 00:01:00 -0500

This week on Myopia:Defend Your Childhood, we watch the Jackie Chan movie that you have been dying for, the one where Chris Tucker yells for about two hours. Here we go! Do you understand the words coming out of his mouth?

Alien vs Predator

Thu, 13 Feb 2020 14:50:33 -0500

This week is a big week on Myopia! We open our Patreon with exclusive content! (Appeal in a minute) To attempt to capitalize on that, we will be covering Alien vs Predator (AVP) this week to coincide with our Patreon exclusive episode on Alien, the start of a movie series wherein we will cover the entire series, like we did with Bond movies.

That being said, our Patreon is now live. For the past five and a half years, we have offered content, which has not only improved, but trained me in comedy and gathered lots of fans. As a way to reward those who want more content and keep this show viable, we are offering a Patreon with extra episodes, exclusive content and much more. In the mean time, some old stuff is going behind the paywall while we gather funds for an editor to fix them, to join more than 100 hours of exclusive content and a building archive of never before heard stuff.

How will Goonies stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew

Alien (Preview)

Fri, 07 Feb 2020 18:25:00 -0500

Myopia: Defend Your Childhood starts up with this series. After almost six seasons of avoiding them, we will do episodes on each on each of the Alien movies, starting strong and ending with Covenant, which I have yet to bother to watch.

We start with the space horror, Jaws rip-off, Alien! Enjoy this incredible cast and subtle score as we watch this amazing film.

The Goonies

Thu, 30 Jan 2020 11:35:18 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we follow up the fantastic last episodes two Coreys movie with a one Corey movie! Goonies, the movie everyone is uncomfortable with us covering.

If you want to support us, we are joining with Geekly Oddcast and Here Be Tygers for a Patreon! We will start to have exclusive content there! Releasing tomorrow! We will be live streaming there again soon and releasing a Patreon exclusive!

Thanks to everyone who came out to Cineprov to watch us mock Keifer Sutherland in this movie. On February 6th we will be riffing the Vanilla Ice movie Cool As Ice! Join us!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

How will Goonies stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew

The Lost Boys

Thu, 16 Jan 2020 00:01:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we follow up the fantastic Cineprov riff with the homoerotic Joel Schumacher music video that is The Lost Boys! Remember when vampire movies were less terrible?

If you want to support us, we are joining with Geekly Oddcast and Here Be Tygers for a Patreon! We will start to have exclusive content there! We will be live streaming there again soon and releasing a Patreon exclusive!

Thanks to everyone who came out to Cineprov to watch us mock Keifer Sutherland in this movie. On February 6th we will be riffing the Vanilla Ice movie Cool As Ice! Join us!

How will The Lost Boys stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew

The Black Cauldron

Tue, 31 Dec 2019 17:54:27 -0500

Happy Holidays! This week on Myopia Defend Your Childhood, finish a Disney month, thanks to Disney+! We finish our traumatic Disney Movies month with The Black Cauldron! A montage of exposition!

If you want to support us, we are joining with Geekly Oddcast and Here Be Tygers for a Patreon! We will start to have exclusive content there! Did you hear us live stream this episode? No? Thanks, you are not a Patron! We will start having further exclusive episodes there at the end of January!

Thanks to everyone who came out to Cineprov to us ruining childhood memories on December 5th! Starting in 2020, we will do a year of real movies. Starting with January 1/2 and Lost Boys! Watch me mock Keifer Sutherland!

How will The Black Cauldron stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew

Mickey's Christmas Carol

Wed, 25 Dec 2019 00:01:00 -0500

Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah from Myopia: Defend Your Childhood! This week, we learn the true meaning of the holidays, that they move too quick to learn any sort of message! We watched Mickey's Christmas Carol, the third version of a Christmas Carol we have covered! (Scrooged! and Muppet Christmas Carol)

If you want to support us, we are joining with Geekly Oddcast and Here Be Tygers for a Patreon! We will start to have exclusive content there! Further, if you are reading this the day it comes out, 12/13, sign up for the Patreon and we will be live streaming Myopia as we watch our next film! Thanks, Disney+

Thanks to everyone who came out to Cineprov to us ruining childhood memories on December 5th! Starting in 2020, we will do a year of real movies. Starting with January and Lost Boys

How will Mickey's Christmas Carol stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew

Bambi

Fri, 13 Dec 2019 09:54:23 -0500

Happy Holidays! This week on Myopia Defend Your Childhood, we start our traumatic Disney Movies month with Bambi! A boring film about parent death, which as I say it is most of Disney's films.

If you want to support us, we are joining with Geekly Oddcast and Here Be Tygers for a Patreon! We will start to have exclusive content there! Further, if you are reading this the day it comes out, 12/13, sign up for the patreon and we will be live streaming Myopia as we watch our next film!

Thanks to everyone who came out to Cineprov to us ruining childhood memories on December 5th! Starting in 2020, we will do a year of real movies. Starting with January and Lost Boys

How will Bambi stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew

Patriot Games

Thu, 28 Nov 2019 11:27:06 -0500

Happy Thanksgiving! Please enjoy our confusing voices on the way to your awkward family dinner. This week on Myopia Defend Your Childhood, we see Harrison Ford stop the Troubles. We watched Patriot Games, Sean Bean is in this one, so I guess his fate is not spoiler territory.

Thanks to everyone who came out to Cineprov to watch Snowbeast! In December we will be ruining childhood memories on December 5th, see you there!

If you want to support us, we are joining with Geekly Oddcast and Here Be Tygers for a Patreon! We will start to have exclusive content there!

How will Patriot Games stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew

The Fugitive

Thu, 14 Nov 2019 00:00:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, it was the one-armed man! We watched The Fugitive and Harrison Ford is totally going to jail!

Thanks to everyone who came out to Cineprov to watch Snowbeast! In December we have two shows! See Christmas Evil on December 5th and we will be ruining childhood memories on December 19th!

How will The Fugitive stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew

Hellraiser

Thu, 31 Oct 2019 13:01:15 -0400

Happy Halloween! This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we have such wonderful sights to show you! We watched Hellraiser, the one you made us watch on a poll...thanks.....

The Action Star poll is in full effect ends today! We have already run 55 rounds! Keep checking the Twitter, where we put up polls constantly! You will help us choose a December theme soon!

Want to see me live? Thanks to you all who showed up on October 3rd, to see us riffing Terminator with Cineprov! Come out on November 7th to see Snowbeast!

How will Hellraiser stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew, and Steve

Friday the 13th (1980)

Thu, 17 Oct 2019 10:36:23 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we see the wet fart that started an iconic franchise, we watched Friday the 13th, the movie where nothing happens.

The Action Star poll is in full effect! We have already run 22 rounds! Keep checking the Twitter feed where we will put up each poll for two days (check the end of the string for the most up to date poll) and the Facebook group if you want to see the pictures! You have also helped us pick the final movie of the month, Hellraiser! Help us all...

Want to see me live? Thanks to you all who showed up on October 3rd, to see us riffing Terminator with Cineprov! Come out on November 7th to see Snowbeast!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Friday the 13th stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew, and Steve

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Tue, 08 Oct 2019 21:18:48 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we lean into our insomnia as we watched the classic, A Nightmare on Elm Street! A tale of creepy janitors and feeling dozy.

Want to see me live? Thanks to you all who showed up on October 3rd, to see us riffing Terminator with Cineprov! Come out on November 7th to see Snowbeast!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will A Nightmare on Elm Street stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew, and Steve

Surviving the Game

Thu, 26 Sep 2019 07:47:41 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we return to Gary Busey town and he brings the greatest backup cast for a 'B' movie ever; including Rutger Hauer, Ice-T, Charles S. Dutton, F. Murray Abraham, John C. McGinley

The Action Star poll is in full effect! The category round pulled in 3600 votes and now we are hitting the brackets! Check the Twitter feed where we will put up each poll for two days (check the end of the string for the most up to date poll) and the Facebook group if you want to see the pictures!

Stay tuned for more polls in the future! In October we are doing a heavy hitters month of slasher films. We have chosen Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees, but you will chose the third on October 1st, watch for the poll!

Want to see me live? On October 3rd, I will be riffing Terminator with Cineprov!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Surviving the Game stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel

Hard Target

Thu, 12 Sep 2019 13:07:09 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watch a classic JCVD and John Woo film, Hard Target! And we learn why Wilfred Brimley gets to act!

The poll for our next month is closed! Please enjoy this hunting humans for sport month you all chose! Currently we are running an action movie star bracket on our twitter and already 1300+ votes have been cast! Stay tuned for more polls in the future! In October we are doing a heavy hitters month of slasher films. We have chosen Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees, but you will chose the third, watch for the poll!

A quick thanks also for those of you who came to see me perform Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus with Cineprov. Next month in October, we are riffing Terminator!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Hard Target stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann
Panel: Daniel, Matthew, and Steve

Wild Wild West

Thu, 29 Aug 2019 09:10:50 -0400

Welcome to our 200th movie! Along the way there have been repeats and side quests, but 200 different films have graced our screens and we have settled on the oft requested and much maligned Wild Wild West! One would think the star and director of Men In Black would put together a better movie, but they would be much mistaken. Does it have a mechanical spider that is the subject of Kevin Smith's best story? Sure does! Do you see Will Smith's nakedness (yep, from behind after having sex in the town's water supply). Is it stunningly racist? Hoooooo-boy is it ever! Fun? Nope, not a bit! Here's to 200 more!

The poll for our next month is closed! We are hunting humans for sport in September! Stay tuned for more polls in the future! In October we are doing a heavy hitters month of slasher films. We have chosen Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees, but you will chose the third, watch for the poll!

A quick thanks also for those of you who came to see me perform Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus with Cineprov. Next month on September 5th, we are riffing Robot Holocaust!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Wild Wild West stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Daniel, Matthew, and Steve

The Dark Crystal

Thu, 15 Aug 2019 15:05:54 -0400

We have returned in triumph to talk about the cripplingly boring film, The Dark Crystal! We love Jim Henson, but wow. Anyway, welcome to Season 6! This season we are changing a few things. First, as mentioned at the end of last season, we will be going down to every other week. While this means less episode, it should mean more quality and an opportunity to do more fun episodes and random bonuses. Next, we are still doing theme months, but we are going to let you pick most of the themes! Check Twitter and Facebook for the categories and vote! Finally, thanks for listening in for five seasons, here is to many more!

A quick thanks also for those of you who came to see me perform Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus with Cineprov. Next month on September 5th, we are riffing Robot Holocaust!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will the Dark Crystal hold up when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Never Say Never Again (James Bond - Mission Briefing Summer Rerun)

Thu, 18 Jul 2019 13:52:48 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood - Mission Briefing Summer ReRelease, we rewatch Thunderball, kinda. We saw Never Say Never Again! Sean Connery's last stint as James Bond, for reals this time.

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Thanks to all of you who came out to watch Larry, Evan, and Candace riff at Atlanta Comic Con! In August come watch me do a mystery riff! A fan will pick the movie out of a sack of selections! See the mystery riff!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Bond Panel: Jon and Daniel

Diamonds are Forever (James Bond - Mission Briefing Summer Rerun)

Sat, 13 Jul 2019 14:53:00 -0400

This week, Bond finds Bambi and Thumper and starts a weird naming fetish. We see the final Sean Connery Bond Movie, or do we? We watched the slapstick Diamonds are Forever!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Sean Connery’s James Bond Hold Up!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Panel: Mark, Jon, Jeremy

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (James Bond - Mission Briefing Summer Rerun)

Fri, 05 Jul 2019 20:31:59 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, Mission Briefing returns to On Her Majesty's Secret Service because they wouldn't pay Sean Connery more then the minimum.

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Thanks to all of you who came out to watch Larry, Evan, and Candace riff Red Dawn! In July we will be riffing at Atlanta Comic Con and keep an eye out for additional shows that may pop up!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will George Lazenby's James Bond Hold Up!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Panel: Steve T and Matt P

You Only Live Twice (James Bond - Mission Briefing Summer Rerun)

Thu, 27 Jun 2019 15:37:51 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we revisit a moment where Bond gets racist! Like, Scottish Sean Connery turns Japanese, I really think so. Also, he was so popular as Bond at this point, that it affected the movie shoot. Also, Ninjas!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Thanks to all of you who came out to watch Larry, Evan, and Candace riff Red Dawn! In July we will be riffing at Atlanta Comic Con and keep an eye out for additional shows that may pop up!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Sean Connery’s James Bond Hold Up!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Bond Experts: Jon and Steve

Thunderball (James Bond - Mission Briefing Summer Rerun)

Thu, 20 Jun 2019 00:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we go under the sea for our summer rerelease followed by taking a little nap. We watched Thunderball!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Thanks to all of you who came out to watch Larry, Evan, and Candace riff Red Dawn! In July we will be riffing at Atlanta Comic Con and keep an eye out for additional shows that may pop up!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Sean Connery’s James Bond Hold Up!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Bond Experts: Thomas, Matt P

Goldfinger (James Bond - Mission Briefing Summer Rerun)

Fri, 14 Jun 2019 12:00:20 -0400

Today on Myopia: Summer Reruns, we watch probably to most popular Bond of the Connery Era, Goldfinger! My moving process is going slowly, but we are working to bring you new stuff soon. In the mean time, lets listen to a classic ep!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Thanks to all of you who came out to watch Larry, Evan, and Candace riff Red Dawn! In July we will be riffing at Atlanta Comic Con and keep an eye out for additional shows that may pop up!

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How will Sean Connery's James Bond Hold Up!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Bond Experts: Thomas, Jon, Matt P

From Russia with Love (James Bond - Mission Briefing Summer Rerun)

Tue, 11 Jun 2019 11:08:28 -0400

We have returned with From Russia With Love, a bond classic, that unfortunately gets dwarfed by its sequel. However, the summer reruns continue to roll on and we continue to work to bring you solid content! We will have new stuff soon, but for now enjoy dusting off this classic episode!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Thanks to all of you who came out to watch Larry, Evan, and Candace riff Red Dawn! In July we will be riffing at Atlanta Comic Con and keep an eye out for additional shows that may pop up!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Sean Connery's James Bond Hold Up!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Bond Experts: Thomas, Jon, Mark

Dr. No (James Bond - Mission Briefing Summer Rerun)

Thu, 06 Jun 2019 11:51:02 -0400

Welcome to Summer 2019! Since there has been all sorts of Bond 25 news like new directors, new settings and whether Daniel Craig will ever walk again, we thought a Bond summer would be perfect! After polling the old Mission Briefing team, they all wanted a Sean summer! For the next few weeks, we will traipse through Connery with some bonus materials along the way!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Want to see a funny show, in fact, Creative Loafing’s People’s Choice Award for Best Comedy Show? Cineprov is riffing at the Plaza June 6th the 1980's John Milius and Patrick Swayze classic Red Dawn! Wolverines!

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How will Sean Connery's James Bond Hold Up!

Host: Nic

Panel: Matt P, Mark, and Jon

Speed Racer

Wed, 15 May 2019 16:06:40 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn the power of Technicolor. We watched the Wachowski's Speed Racer! Who would have guessed it, but apparently I have always wanted to see John Goodman kill a ninja...

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Speed Racer stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Evan
Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Evan

Rocky and Bullwinkle

Wed, 08 May 2019 16:40:09 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we look back on how Jason Alexander and Robert DeNiro used all their good will and fame from the early 90s. We saw Rocky and Bullwinkle, MOOSE AND SQUIRREL!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Rocky and Bullwinkle stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Nic
Panel: Matthew, Daniel

Man of The House

Wed, 01 May 2019 22:16:20 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we wrap our 2019 Public Defender Month! The Month of movie you wanted to defend, and we wrapped with a precocious kid classic! We saw Jonathan Taylor Thomas (or JTT as the girls I was in middle school with called him) and Chevy Chase (or douchebag as the actors who work with him called him) in Man of the House!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Want to see a funny show, in fact, Creative Loafing’s People’s Choice Award for Best Comedy Show? Cineprov is riffing at the Plaza May 2nd and I will be on this episode! We will be riffing on the movie Boogeyman (1980) Weeee!

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How will Man of the House stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Public Defendant: Erik
Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Charlie

Hackers

Thu, 25 Apr 2019 00:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood we dust of an AOL disc with 100 free hours! What a deal! We watched Hackers, the sexiest movie about hackers since Silicone Valley (the porno version of Silicon Valley).

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Want to see a funny show, in fact, Creative Loafing's People's Choice Award for Best Comedy Show? Cineprov is riffing at the Plaza May 2nd and I will be on this episode! We will be riffing on the movie Boogeyman (1980) Weeee!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Hackers stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Public Defendant: Scott
Panel: Matthew, Daniel

The Breakfast Club

Thu, 18 Apr 2019 00:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we reinforce the cliches of high school, root for a man who grabs an unwilling teenager by the crotch, and witness an authority figure threaten and hit a child. We watched the Trump Documentary, I mean, The Breakfast Club, will you forget about me?

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Want to see a funny show, in fact, Creative Loafing's People's Choice Award for Best Comedy Show? Cineprov is riffing at the Plaza Saturday! Usually we perform today, but instead this Saturday, we will be doing a special Saturday show on the Roger Corman Fantastic Four!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will The Breakfast Club stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Public Defendant: Lauren
Panel: Adam, Daniel

Inspector Gadget

Thu, 11 Apr 2019 00:01:00 -0400

After technical issues, we are starting Public Defender Month with a selection from Kels on our Twitter feed who selected the movie that proves, after accidentally killing a man, Matthew Broderick will act in anything. We watched Inspector Gadget, how do you get such a simple movie so very wrong?

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well, after doing the bizzare Hanger 18, we have decided to not cover the sequel Hanger 19, Hangerin' for More! Instead we are covering the Roger Corman not released cult classic Fantastic Four! As a special Saturday episode on April 20th!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Inspector Gadget stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Public Defendant: Kels
Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Kelsey

Finding Neverland

Mon, 01 Apr 2019 00:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood we watch a movie in which Johnny Depp takes advantage of friendship for profit, leaving people disappointed in him...awkard. We watched Finding Neverland, Dustin Hoffman is in this because he played Captain Hook in Hook...sigh...

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Finding Neverland stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Defendant: Dan

Panel: Daniel, Matthew

101 Dalmatians (Live - 1996)

Thu, 28 Mar 2019 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn that video games are made by only one person. We watched the Disney live action remake, 101 Dalmatians, man Glenn Close really showed up for an embarrassing movie.

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

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How will 101 Dalmatians (Live Action - 1996) stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Daniel
Panel: Matthew, Charlie

101 Dalmatians (Animated)

Thu, 21 Mar 2019 12:40:44 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn about clothing alternatives. We watched the Disney Animated Classic, 101 Dalmatians, so the name Cruella De Vil didn't raise any flags, huh...weird how she was the villian.

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will 101 Dalmatians (Animated -1961) stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Daniel
Panel: Matthew, Charlie

The Nutty Professor (Remake - 1996)

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 14:25:16 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we get excited and just can’t hide it. We saw Nutty Professor (Remake – 1996), man remember when Eddie Murphy had a career. I bet there is at least one prostitute who remembers….

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well, after doing the bizzare Hanger 18, we have decided to not cover the sequel Hanger 19, Hangerin’ for More! Instead we are covering the Roger Corman not released cult classic Fantastic Four! As a special Saturday episode on April 20th!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will The Nutty Professor (Original – 1996) stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Daniel
Panel: Matthew, Kelsey

The Nutty Professor (Original - 1963)

Thu, 07 Mar 2019 11:02:54 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we see the origin of Professor Frink. We watched the Jerry Lewis classic The Nutty Professor (Original - 1963), so the hero who learns something still gets the girls at the end, but the girl is his student...the 1960s were weird...

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well if you are getting this the day it comes out, my comedy troupe Cineprov is riffing Hanger 18 today at the Plaza!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will The Nutty Professor (Original - 1963) stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Daniel
Panel: Daniel, Adam, Lauren

Alice in Wonderland (1999 - Made for TV Movie)

Thu, 28 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we try to convince Daniel that Alice in Wonderland (the book) is as undeciferable as the movie. We watched Alice in Wonder! No, not that one, or that one, the one with Christopher Lloyd, Gene Wilder, and Haggrid. No, not that one either.

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well, I am a member of Cineprov (or on Facebook), we riff movies like MST3K (which one of our members wrote for on Netflix) or Rifftrax. Recently, we have riffed Road House, Gamera: The Invincible, WarGames, Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers, Troll 2, Rocky IV, and The Year without Santa Claus (see full list since the return in 2017 here). We perform at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta, the first Thursday of the month. Join us in March for Hanger 18!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Alice in Wonderland stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Thomas
Panel: Daniel, Charlie and Matthew

Danger Island (AKA The Presence)

Thu, 21 Feb 2019 00:00:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learned where June Lockheart was hiding. We watched the 1992 TV movie that is mostly LOST, Danger Island (AKA The Presence, after the pilot was not picked up). Matthew chose this movie because the evil government plan has the same name as my daughter. Whee!!!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Danger Island stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Panel: Daniel, Charlie and Matthew

Pirates of Silicon Valley

Thu, 14 Feb 2019 00:01:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we forgot about Valentine's Day and while we hide from significant others, here is a movie! Before the think pieces starring Michael Fassbender, Ashton Kutcher, and Justin Long, there was a movie about how Steve Jobs was an asshole and it was on TV! We watched the Pirates of Silicon Valley, the Linux story was never this sexy!

Today is your last day to recommend a movie for Public Defender Month! Please DM, Email (myopiapodcast@gmail.com), or call and leave a VM @ (770)835-5578 and tell us the movies you would defend (or at least hear us try to explain).

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Thanks to those of you who came out to Road House! Up next month is Hanger 18! (Yeah, I don't know it either). Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well, I am a member of Cineprov (or on Facebook), we riff movies like MST3K (which one of our members wrote for on Netflix) or Rifftrax. Recently, we have riffed Gamera: The Invicible, WarGames, Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers, Troll 2, Rocky IV, and The Year without Santa Claus (see full list since the return in 2017 here). We perform at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta, the first Thursday of the month.

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Pirates of Silicon Valley stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Nic
Panel: Charlie, Daniel and Matthew

Merlin

Thu, 07 Feb 2019 09:43:02 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we start our month watching TV with Sam Neill in the Cliff's Notes version of a classic tale Jurassic Park, I mean Merlin (1998 - The Made For TV Mini-Series). Helena Botham Carter could never play, say a banker, could she.....

Hello friends! From now until Valentine's Day, we are taking requests for movies for an upcoming Public Defender Month! Please DM, Email (myopiapodcast@gmail.com), or call and leave a VM @ (770)835-5578 and tell us the movies you would defend (or at least hear us try to explain).

Was there a disappointing sequel, precocious kid movie, Muppet, Monster, or Miscellaneous movie we missed? Let us know! This time we put your past on trial!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well, I am a member of Cineprov (or on Facebook), we riff movies like MST3K (which one of our members wrote for on Netflix) or Rifftrax. Recently, we have riffed Gamera: The Invincible, WarGames, Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers, Troll 2, Rocky IV, and The Year without Santa Claus (see full list since the return in 2017 here). We perform at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta, the first Thursday of the month. February 7th, come see us as we riff on Road House!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Merlin stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: Thomas
Panel: Matt and Daniel

Matrix Revolutions

Thu, 31 Jan 2019 00:01:00 -0500

The week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we 'celebrate' 200 movies by watching Matrix Revolutions! Not the one you are thinking of, there is no space orgy rave, Neo is stuck in a subway station for 20 minutes (then disappears for most of the movie) the Oracle is recast, and Morpheus doesn't matter! Wooo! Don't worry we have a doozy planned for the 200th movie.

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well, I am a member of Cineprov (or on Facebook), we riff movies like MST3K (which one of our members wrote for on Netflix) or Rifftrax. Recently, we have riffed Gamera: The Invincible, WarGames, Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers, Troll 2, Rocky IV, and The Year without Santa Claus (see full list since the return in 2017 here). We perform at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta, the first Thursday of the month. February 7th, come see us as we riff on Road House!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Matrix Revolutions stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Scorpion King

Thu, 24 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn why they stopped calling this movie "The Mummy III." We watched The Scorpion King! In which Daniel convinces me that the Rock is not always the charismatic heroic hunk I thought he was, what can I say except you're welcome.

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well, I am a member of Cineprov (or on Facebook), we riff movies like MST3K (which one of our members wrote for on Netflix) or Rifftrax. Recently, we have riffed Gamera: The Invicible, WarGames, Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers, Troll 2, Rocky IV, and The Year without Santa Claus (see full list since the return in 2017 here). We perform at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta, the first Thursday of the month. Februrary 7th, come see us as we riff on Road House!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Scorpion King stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic
Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Star Wars - Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith

Thu, 17 Jan 2019 10:47:07 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, Matt yells "Noooooooooooo!" for 20 minutes. We watched Star Wars - Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith, I guess this is the good one, maybe? I mean, it was the chosen one.....

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? Also, for those of you who are truly film folks, I have created a Letterboxd page! Check out what episodes we have done here!

Interested in stroking my ego and seeing me live? Well, I am a member of Cineprov (or on Facebook), we riff movies like MST3K (which one of our members wrote for on Netflix) or Rifftrax. Recently, we have riffed Gamera: The Invicible, WarGames, Halloween VI: The Curse of Michael Myers, Troll 2, Rocky IV, and The Year without Santa Claus (see full list since the return in 2017 here). We perform at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta, the first Thursday of the month. Februrary 7th, come see us as we riff on Road House!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Star Wars - Episode 3 - Revenge of the Sith stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: Nicolas
Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Kelsey

Speed 2: Cruise Control

Thu, 10 Jan 2019 00:01:00 -0500

How do you end up with a classic like Speed 2? Well first you need a classic, like Speed. Ah, the movie making process. First, you get a script together, match it with producers with the vision, who find directors who see that vision, cinematographers who can bring the vision to celluloid, actors who fulfill that vision, and the music and effects that bring it to life.

Ah, the sequel making process. First, the director (now also the producer), gets a script, then has a dream that causes him to throw out the original script and rewrite it. This causes the big star of the movie to leave (causing the movie studio to make up a lie involving the actor's band). Then proceed to add a subplot about a deaf girl (14) in love with the new male lead (to make him seem less like a robot), show the female lead watching Lolita to nail subtext, add leeches and Willem Dafoe, give it a catchy subtitle, like "The Boat that Couldn't Slow Down," or "Cruise Control," and pow! You've got a movie!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Speed 2 stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: Nicolas
Panel: Matthew, Daniel

Blues Brothers 2000

Thu, 03 Jan 2019 00:00:00 -0500

Welcome to 2019 everyone! First of all, thanks for listening to a podcast entitled 'Blues Brothers 2000,' it was hard on us to watch it. Our infinite love and appreciation to you and yours in this new year. Further, we would like to thank you for your continued support this year with the podcast. We grew in leaps and bounds this year and there are exciting things to come! How do we start the year off? With movie sequels that disappointed us! What fun? I mean, what fun!

Remember that musical comedy from the 80s? It was a two-hander with a great comedy team with one more stoic than the last, with great musical guests and a mission from God? Well, what if 18 years later, we made a sequel with one of them dead, added a kid, and added magic? Sounds terrible right? Well, at least the soundtrack is good…

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Blues Brothers stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: Nicolas
Panel: Evan, Zach, Daniel

Muppets with the Geekly Oddcast

Thu, 27 Dec 2018 00:00:00 -0500

This week we present an additional Bonus episode! Thomas (regular and Geekly Oddcast host) compare Kermit the Frog impressions and we round out his Muppet month with a discussion on the Muppets as an art form.

Thanks to all of those who voted to make Cineprov the People's Choice for Best Comedy Show in Atlanta 2018! It has been one hell of a year and there is so much more to come! Between now and Spring Break we are riffing Santa Claus (versus the Devil), we ruin some childhood classic TV specials, Hercules in the Haunted World, and Road House. And that is just until February. Miss a month and miss a lot!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

The Muppet Christmas Carol

Tue, 25 Dec 2018 00:00:00 -0500

We post a little early to welcome you a our version of a Merry Christmas, a Michael Caine Musical! Join a self aware narrator and a movie I know so well, I didn't need to rewatch it, though I did anyway. Because, I am a professional. We watched the Muppet Christmas Carol, So enjoy!

I want to thank you all for making 2018 the best year yet! After iTunes deleted over half my reviews, more of you stood up to be counted and I appreciate that! People came to say 'hi' at Cineprov, which is award winning now, for which I am also grateful. I keep doing this because you keep encouraging me and I love you for that!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will The Muppet Christmas Carol stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Thomas, Daniel and Matthew

Labyrinth

Thu, 20 Dec 2018 00:00:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, a girl becomes a women, or falls in love with her new step dad, or is charmed by David Bowie. We watched Labyrinth, is your step brother REALLY worth it? I mean, that bulge though....

Thanks to all of those who voted to make Cineprov the People's Choice for Best Comedy Show in Atlanta 2018! It has been one hell of a year and there is so much more to come! If you are listening the day it is released, we are performing today (12/20) and riffing over two Rankin/Bass classics, The Year Without Santa Claus and Santa Claus is Coming to Town!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Labyrinth stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: Nicolas
Panel: Charlie, Daniel and Matthew

Muppets in Space

Thu, 13 Dec 2018 00:01:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watched Alex Jones' favorite Muppet movie, Muppets in Space. Filled with government conspiracy, Dr Teeth (but no singing), and Miss Piggy as a conspiracy TV show host role, this movie is a mess, but still Muppets-ish.

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Muppets in Space stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: Nicolas
Panel: Charlie, Daniel and Matthew

Follow that Bird

Thu, 06 Dec 2018 00:01:00 -0500

As we unfurled our Muppet Month, American Treasure Caroll Spinney (the Voice of Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch) announced his retirement from Sesame Street. Therefore, we called an audible and watched Follow that Bird, a heartwarming classic of anti-white supremacy, dealing with depression, and road trips. Co-Starring John Candy and Waylon Jennings.

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Follow that Bird stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: The Fans
Panel: Charlie, Daniel and Matthew

Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Thu, 29 Nov 2018 00:00:00 -0500

When I realized that this month had one too many Thursdays, I thought what is a crap movie that I have seen which is vaguely Indiana Jones-ish. I remembered this, the last Disney film that I saw in theaters for about a decade. Turned out it wants to be Stargate more than Indiana Jones.

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How will Atlantis: The Lost Empire stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: The Fans
Panel: Charlie, Daniel and Matthew

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Thu, 22 Nov 2018 00:00:00 -0500

Well, this is the reason you all chose this series isn't it? "Oh, Nic," you thought, "Nic you FOOL! MUHAHAHAHA, this will teach you to trust democracy!" And you laughed! Well, listen here, guy. We survived Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and it was better than I remembered! Not much, but still...

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How will Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: The Fans
Panel: Charlie, Daniel and Matthew

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Thu, 15 Nov 2018 00:01:00 -0500

We leave the prequel and end up with the final entry into the saga, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Well, the last one for 19 years. I am sure the momentum will keep up when you save one of the most famous treasures in Christendom and introduce an incredible father character. Well, only time will tell!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: The Fans

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Thu, 08 Nov 2018 00:01:00 -0500

When last we left Indy, he had defeated the Nazis, saved the girl, and lost the Ark of the Covenant to bureaucratic red tape. However, this week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we find out where he was before that movie in the one that everyone used to think was the worst! We watched the prequel Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, who says Short Round doesn't age well! Everyone, everyone says that.

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How will Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: The Fans

Panel: Daniel

(Indiana Jones and the) Raiders of the Lost Ark

Thu, 01 Nov 2018 00:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we fall back in love with a great character who doesn't really matter in the plot of his own movie. We watched Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark! This was selected by the Facebook and Twitter (@myopiapodcast) fans, thanks for voting and follow us there for upcoming info about the show, listener request month, and polls!

Thanks to all of those who voted to make Cineprov the People's Choice for Best Comedy Show in Atlanta 2018! It has been one hell of a year! If you are getting this the day it drops, see me riff Halloween VI at the Plaza tonight!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: The Fans

Panel: Daniel

Deep Rising

Thu, 25 Oct 2018 12:30:43 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watch a movie that is not sure what it is. Deep Rising is part Alien, part Poseidon Adventure, part heist film, part inside man movie, all mess and bad CGI! A treat(?), but with appropriate scares to wrap up this monster month.

Thanks to all of those who voted to make Cineprov the People's Choice for Best Comedy Show in Atlanta 2018! It has been one hell of a year! Also, thanks for those who came to Monsterama and watched Candace and I riff on the Fiend! Our next show will be November 1st at the Plaza where Cineprov will riff Halloween VI and I will watch you in the audience!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Deep Rising stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Matthew

Panel: Emily, Steve, Lauren

Lake Placid

Thu, 18 Oct 2018 00:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we visit Bill Pullman after that whole President thing and hear some of the worst dialog put to celluloid. We watched Lake Placid, people really need to stop ripping off Steven Spielberg, ok? And no, your pitch of what if Betty White were the bad guy in a Jurassic Park meets Jaws crossover starring a giant alligator does not sweeten the pot. Well, I am lying, that sounds amazing; too bad this was not.

Note: There is some mild static on this episode, I tried to fix it, but could not get it completely. Sorry!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Lake Placid stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: Daniel
Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Eight Legged Freaks

Thu, 11 Oct 2018 08:28:13 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we remember the era when David Arquette could open a movie. Well, just the reason he was never asked to again. We continue our monster movie month with the horror comedy Eight Legged Freaks!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network! Please join the ESO Patreon!

How will Eight Legged Freaks stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nicolas
Defendant: Thomas
Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Godzilla

Thu, 04 Oct 2018 11:36:52 -0400

Welcome to the monster movie month Matthew maintained! This year for October we crack out a few spooky movies and have a little fun with them; well, as much as can be had with some of this crap. We start with the baffling big budget monster film Godzilla (1998). Fresh off the crushing success of Independence Day, Roland Emmerich has made some upgrades! Replacing sexy and charismatic Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum with Matthew Broderick and Hank Azaria. Replacing sexy love interest Vivica A Fox with Maria Pittio. And replacing the heroic Bill Pullman with Michael Learner (playing Mayor Ebert, a reviewer who gave Independence Day a bad review). The only true upgrade was replacing Randy Quaid with Jeno Reno. So let's get into a Godzilla movie so bad that it saved ToHo productions who made a film where their Godzilla kills this one.

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? While on the Facebook page why don’t you vote to add to the list of movies we should do for this month, now that precocious kids are down!

Also, friend, do you like being part of comedies? One of Creative Loafing’s top ten comedy groups of 2018? Why then, friend, Cineprov is performing not once, BUT TWICE, in the first week of October! Once at the Plaza and once at Monsterama, friend! I will be at the Monsterama show with Candace and Larry! Friend! Friend!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

V for Vendetta

Thu, 27 Sep 2018 10:34:25 -0400

The last ‘Cool in College Movie’ is the Hugo Weaving and Natalie Portman/Wachowski film ‘V for Vendetta. Filled with masks, music, more masks, government-controlled media pretending to be independent, masks, explosions, masks, genocide, and masks; this movie has something for everyone!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? While on the Facebook page why don’t you vote to add to the list of movies we should do for this month, now that precocious kids are down!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network!

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: Thomas

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Donnie Darko

Thu, 20 Sep 2018 00:01:00 -0400

Hello! This week a we watch a movie that created a Gyllenhaal dynasty and gave me a righteous fear of rabbits. We watched Donnie Darko, do you doubt MY commitment to Sparkle Motion?

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? While on the facebook page why don't you vote add to the list of movies we should do for this month, now that precocious kids is down!

Also, friend, do you like being part of comedies? One of Creative Loafing's top ten comedy groups of 2018? Why then, friend, Cineprov is preforming not once, BUT TWICE, in the first week of October! Once at the Plaza and once at Monsterama, friend! I will be at the Monsterama show with Candace and Larry! Friend! Friend!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network!

How will you stand when we put Donnie Darko on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Defendant:Matthew
Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Lauren

Fight Club

Thu, 13 Sep 2018 12:57:13 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watch a cautionary tale about toxic masculinity that made us all hate IKEA. We watched Fight Club, who knew that Helena Bonham Carter could act without Tim Burton?

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? While on the facebook page why don't you vote add to the list of movies we should do for this month, now that precocious kids is down!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network!

How will you stand when we put Fight Club on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Matthew, Daniel

Boondock Saints

Thu, 06 Sep 2018 00:01:00 -0400

Welcome to the next month in our season 5 line-up, Cool In College. Curated by Daniel, these movies were the posters on every wall sold in the quads from under a cheap canopy. These were the movies you thought were profound when you were in your late teens and early twenties, do they hold up or are they cheap messages and indie film money from the 90's. We will find out together!

Our first pick is the box office poison that was Boondock Saints. According to Box Office Mojo, the widest release it had was five theaters and made $30,471 on a $6,000,000 investment. The cult status came later of this neo-libertarian crime? revenge? movie! Prepare for homophobia!

Please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? While on the facebook page why don't you vote add to the list of movies we should do for this month, now that precocious kids is down!

Also, on the day this comes out, I will be performing with Cineprov as Larry, Candace and I riff on WarGames! See you at the Plaza!

How will you stand when we put Boondock Saints on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Daniel

Panel: Mollie, Matt

Little Rascals

Thu, 30 Aug 2018 00:01:00 -0400

Has there ever been a joke that people around you like, but you just don't find funny? Maybe it has been stripped down from a better joke, or told so many times that it is no longer funny. With that image in your head, we watch the Little Rascals, from the director of Wayne's World. You heard me.

This is the last precocious kid movie of the month and boy is it as doozy with a surprise cameo you won't expect; I was gobsmacked. As it stands, though, thanks for sharing the previous episodes and helping start the season right. This is the last week to suggest your precocious kids movie and we will see if your choice is an episode in the spring! Second, please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia?

Next, thanks to all of you who have been supporting me in the past year as I have done Cineprov! I believe I have performed six times and it is always nice to see fans. I will continue to perform and you should continue to see me! The August show wilth with Riffers Larry, Candace, and Christine), we great! I will be riffing the next movie, Matthew Broderick’s WarGames on September 7th, with Larry and Candace.

How will you stand when we put Little Rascals on Trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Daniel

Panel: Daniel and Kelsey

Camp Nowhere

Thu, 23 Aug 2018 00:02:00 -0400

Welcome to Camp Nowhere, the camp at the wrong end of summer, hosted by a discraced former high school teacher who wants to spend his summer in an abandoned cabin near a group of kids. Yay?

First thanks for sharing the last episode, it did great and hopefully the season will continue so well! Second, please continue to rate and review us! We are on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify and could use the support; the more ratings you give the easier it is for others to find us. Also do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia? On the Facebook group we are making lists for a potential listener request month.

Next, thanks to all of you who have been supporting me in the past year as I have done Cineprov! I believe I have performed six times and it is always nice to see fans. I will continue to perform and you should continue to see me! The August show wilth with Riffers Larry, Candace, and Christine), we great! I will be riffing the next movie, Matthew Broderick's WarGames on September 7th, with Larry and Candace.

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn that the greatest con man who ever lived sells EZ-Cheez at the mall, we watched Camp Nowhere, the movie that shows you how to give a girl body dismorphia.

How Will Camp Nowhere stand when we put it on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Thomas

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, and Jeremy

My Science Project

Thu, 16 Aug 2018 00:01:00 -0400

As precoucious kid month rolls on, we watch a Matthew classic! While this was not a movie I had not seen before, it lurks on in the pantheon of weird 80s movies. It has all the classic elements, nerd girl who is actually gorgeous but hideous because she has glasses, jocks and nerds, washed out hippies, and Eisenhower ordering the destruction of alien technology. Also, boring pacing! Fun!

Next, thanks to all of you who have been supporting me in the past year as I have done Cineprov! I believe I have performed six times and it is always nice to see fans. I will continue to perform and you should continue to see me! The August show wilth with Riffers Larry, Candace, and Christine), we great! I will be riffing the next movie, Matthew Broderick's WarGames on September 7th, with Larry and Candace.

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn where Spencer got his original gift. We watched My Science Project, does Fischer Stevens ever play a non-stereotype?

We are a proud member of the ESO Network!

My Science Project? How Will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Matthew

Casper

Thu, 09 Aug 2018 00:01:00 -0400

Welcome to Season 5 of Myopia: Defend Your Childhood! We continue the precociousness with a blast from the cartoon past, which is the only reason I can imagine that Father Guido Sarducci, Dan Ackroyd, Clint Eastwood, Rodney Dangerfield, and Mel Gibson did cameos. Further, this helps cement Christina Ricci in the 1990s, why Brad Garrett is CGI animated in all of Pixar's movies, and is between starring in While You Were Sleeping and Independence Day for Bill Pullman. We watched the CGI-tastic Casper from 1995.

Next, thanks to all of you who have been supporting me in the past year as I have done Cineprov! I believe I have performed six times and it is always nice to see fans. I will continue to perform and you should continue to see me! The August show wilth with Riffers Larry, Candace, and Christine), we great! I will be riffing the next movie, Matthew Broderick's WarGames on September 7th, with Larry and Evan.

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn that Eric Idle of Monty Python will do anything for a new garage. We watched Casper (1995), you know the Ghostbusters sequel you wanted with the original cast? You got it!

We are a proud member of the ESO Network!

Casper! How Will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Nic
Panel: Kelsey, Daniel and Steve

Matilda

Thu, 02 Aug 2018 18:18:00 -0400

Welcome to Season 5 of Myopia: Defend Your Childhood! We return strong and refreshed with constantly mentioned ‘stay-tuned’ episode, the Danny DeVito directed Roald Dahl classic, Matilda! What can you expect in the new season? So much!

First, once a month, we will have a bonus episode! (We even released one last month, if you did not tune in). Second, new theme song! Third, rather than seemingly random movies, we will pick a theme and a group of regulars will select their movie choices. This month, I selected the category ‘precocious kid movies.’ You know the ones, Nickelodeon and Disney pumped them out in the 1990s. The adults are always wrong, the kids are always right. Maybe Emilio Estevez betrays the team by trying to pick up a woman twice his height or the parents all turn out to be frauds. Finally, we know we will not get to all the selections you want, so check out the Facebook Group where we will have a survey to tell us the movies you wished we covered this month. They may come back during an upcoming listener request month!

Next, thanks to all of you who have been supporting me in the past year as I have done Cineprov! I believe I have performed six times and it is always nice to see fans. I will continue to perform and you should continue to see me! While I am not on the August show (Cineprov is riffing Troll 2 August 2nd (the day this is released), with Riffers Larry, Candace, and Christine), I will be there and so should you! I will be riffing the next movie War Games on September 7th, however (with Larry and Evan).

Finally, I want to thank my production team Candice, Daniel, Matthew, and Thomas, all the panelists, and all my listeners. I promise this season will only improve on the last!

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, I think we learned that child abuse gives you magic powers, just like Harry Potter. We saw Matilda, is this the only time Danny DeVito can say “I’m big, you’re little” to anyone?

Matilda! How Will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Nic

Panel: Nic, Daniel, Lauren

Summer Reruns 2018 - Batman Returns

Mon, 30 Jul 2018 00:01:00 -0400

So, I was reminded that half the world is upside-down, which is a polite way of saying wrong, of course. So, in honor of our hundreds of listeners in Australia and New Zealand and the four people in Argentina, two in Chile, ten in South Africa, and twenty-four listeners in Brazil, we would like to share Thomas' choice, a winter film; Batman Returns.

And what's not to like? Thomas' first podcast ever (and now look at him!) Danny Devito as the Penguin, Christopher Walken as a prick, Michael Keaton as Batman (or Bruce Wayne when he is wearing glasses), and Michelle Pfeiffer as a cat lady, I mean Catwoman!

Also, thanks to those who watched me at Cineprov riff Rocky IV! Tune in next month for Troll 2 on August 2nd! It's guaranteed to be something great!

Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia?

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are a proud member of the ESO Network.

Batman Returns! How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Jon
Panel: Daniel, Tom, Jeremy, Matthew, and Jade

Summer Reruns 2018 - Mission Impossible

Thu, 26 Jul 2018 00:01:00 -0400

In honor of the big summer blockbuster Mission: Impossible - Fallout, starring Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Angela Bassett, and Alec Baldwin , we remind you of a time where Jean Reno and Emilio Estevez could open a movie with Tom Cruise, let alone a movie. We are watching Mission Impossible!

This surprise remake of an old TV property with the twists and turns that on Brian de Palma could deliever, led to other remakes like The A-Team, The Avengers (with Uma Thurman), the Saint, and SWAT. Hey, at least some of these sequels are pretty good.

Also, thanks to those who watched me at Cineprov riff Rocky IV! Tune in next month for Troll 2 on August 2nd! It's guaranteed to be something great!

Also, do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia?

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are a proud member of the ESO Network.

Mission Impossible? How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic
Defendant: Jeremy R.
Panel: Daniel, Matt P

Summer Reruns 2018 - The Last Star Fighter

Thu, 19 Jul 2018 00:01:00 -0400

Hello there! I hope that summer is treating you with sunny days and frosty air conditioning! I am from Atlanta, as many here know, and it is too hot to think...or be funny, hence reruns! We return this we with a Sci-Fi blast from the past and you know what that means... this is Matthew's choice! The Last Starfighter, which at this point more people know from Robot Chicken than the original movie!

As an aside, the premise of the movie is great, though I think the sequel would be along the lines of Polybius.

Also, thanks to those who watched me at Cineprov riff Rocky IV! Tune in next month for Troll 2!

Also do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia?

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are proud member of the ESO Network.

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant:Matthew

Panel: Madison, Thomas, Abbey, Jeremy

Summer Reruns 2018 - Road House

Thu, 12 Jul 2018 00:01:00 -0400

Hello friends and thanks for tuning in during this summer break! I hope you are staying refreshed and cool. This week we rerun a classic: Road House. Why is it a classic, you may ask. Well, I'll tell you! Daniel picked this one for many reasons. First, it was one of the most requested movies we had done to date. Second, it was a lot of fun to record, funny to listen to, and memorable overall. Third, panelist Zack wanders off for roughly twenty minutes in the middle.

This movie gets to the meat of it all, answering questions like 'do pain hurt?' (answer: don't) 'Will you get to sleep when you die?' (answer: do) 'Does anyone in this world wear underwear, even when zipping jeans? (answer: don't). Oh what fun!

Also, thanks to those who watched me at Cineprov riff Rocky IV! Tune in next month for Troll 2!

Also do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia?

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are proud member of the ESO Network.

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Michael

Panel: Zach

Interview with a Vampire

Thu, 05 Jul 2018 14:57:46 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn what they did in the shadows as we wrap up season 4! We watched Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, I'm not the only one who get's a real strong gay vibe here, right?

Don't forget to come out on July 5th to watch Cineprov riff as Larry, Evan, and I riff Rocky IV!

Also do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia?

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are proud member of the ESO Network.

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Charlie

Panel: Charlie, Daniel, Kelsey

The Fifth Element

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watch a 1990's spoof movie, the Fifth Element! Self-referencial, parodying, and self-effacing, this comedy. . .wait, this they took this serious? Oh no. . . .Well, I guess we learned that French humor is wierd.

Note: Sorry about the static, there was an issue I tried to fix. I promise it is better than George of the Jungle, but it would almost have to be.

Don't forget to come out on July 5th to watch Cineprov riff as Larry, Evan, and I riff Rocky IV!

Also do you follow us elsewhere? Facebook? Instagram? Twitter? Myopia?

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are proud member of the ESO Network.

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Nic

Cool Runnings

Thu, 14 Jun 2018 13:42:28 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we feel the rhythm AND the rhyme! We watched Cool Runnings, the only movie my elementary school owned, according to my memory. You dead man?

Don't forget to come out on July 5th to watch Cineprov riff as Larry, Evan, and I riff Rocky IV!

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are proud member of the ESO Network.

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Nic

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Under Siege

Thu, 07 Jun 2018 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we see two titans of the action genre go head to head; Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones! Also, Steven Seagal mumbles around here somewhere too. We watched Under Siege! Did you know that a former Playboy Playmate can act with her top on for a whole movie? Neither did this film!

Don't forget to come out today to watch Cineprov riff Masters of the Universe!

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic

Panel: Mollie, Daniel, Matthew.

Stargate

Thu, 24 May 2018 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn that Kurt Russell is always awesome and why James Spader wore a clever hat in Blacklist. We watched Stargate! How does Roland Emmerich go from this to Independence Day then back to the dumpster with Godzilla? And guess what? Independence Day 3 has been announced. Sigh.

Thanks to everyone who came to see me at Cineprov! Next time, June 7th, to watch Masters of the Universe!

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are proud member of the ESO Network

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Jon C

Panel: Daniel, Matthew

An American Tail: Fievel Goes West

Thu, 17 May 2018 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, Dom DeLuise and John Cleese, together at last like Heat for comedy nerds, kinda...also that joke was for movie nerds...sorta! We watched An American Tail Fievel Goes West, a title for people who hate movie sequels without numbers.

Thanks to everyone who came to see me at Cineprov! Next time, June 7th, to watch Masters of the Universe!

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are proud member of the ESO Network

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Matthew

Panel: Daniel

The Secret of Nimh

Thu, 10 May 2018 00:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, in an effort to reassess our nightmares, we watched the Secret of NIMH. How far will a mother go? Why did NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health) have exterminators? Dom DeLuise, really?

Thanks to everyone who came to see me at Cineprov! Next time, June 7th, to watch Masters of the Universe!

While you are here, consider rating us five stars on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and now Spotify! We are proud member of the ESO Network

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Matthew

Panel: Daniel

Iron Man

Thu, 26 Apr 2018 11:08:43 -0400

Hello Marvel Fans who stumbled across us and Myopia fans! Like everyone else out there, we are talking MCU and the movies that fit our 10 year rule were Iron Man and the Incredible Hulk, so we are talking Iron Man! The week on Myopia Defend Your Childhood, we learn what you can build in a cave out of scaps! We saw Iron Man, next time baby!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Steve, Kellie, Thomas

Speed

Thu, 19 Apr 2018 10:54:10 -0400

Alright, pop quiz hot shot, this week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we shoot the hostage! We watched the Keanu Reeves, Dennis Hopper, Sandra Bullock, and Jeff Bridges classic, Speed! Does the movie hold up or is it as stable as a cart filled with cans?

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Daniel, Lauren, Matthew

Highlander

Thu, 12 Apr 2018 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood we have Swissmen playing Scots, Scots playing Spaniards, and a fair number of kitanas as Mr. Krabs kills hookers. Can you tell we watched a Canon Film? We saw Highlander, THERE CAN BE ONLY TWO SEQUELS...AND A TV SHOW...AND AN UPCOMING REBOOT!!!!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Matthew Quinn

Panel: Daniel

Deep Blue Sea

Thu, 05 Apr 2018 12:18:24 -0400

Deepest Bluest, my hat IS like a shark's fin. From red wine to the proper omelet recipe, this movie is what Jaws clearly always wanted to be; about the science? I think...

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: Matthew Quinn

Panel: Jeremy and Steve

National Treasure

Thu, 22 Mar 2018 14:14:28 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, I am late uploading this because, ironically, I am in Washington DC as this week, we figure out if this money is trying to tell us something. We watched National Treasure, since I made the earlier comment, I want to promise the FBI I am not planning on stealing the Declaration of Independence.

How will you stand when we put your past on trials?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Daniel

Tomb Raider (2001)

Thu, 15 Mar 2018 00:00:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we dust off the Playstation and bust out a pixelated classic! Wait, we had to watch the movie version? Ewww....I'd rather get aroused by polygons any day. We watched Tomb Raider (2001), spoiler alert, it was the Illuminati! Like always! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: None, releases along with Tomb Raider 2018

Panel: Daniel, Matthew, Jeremy

George of the Jungle

Thu, 08 Mar 2018 11:16:53 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend your Childhood, we watch Brendan Fraser learn how to survive in modern society again! This time with the help of pratfalls, John Cleese, and voice over narration!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: Nicolas Hoffmann

Panel: Kelsey, Matt P, and Abbey

ET The Extra-Terrestrial

Thu, 01 Mar 2018 00:00:00 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, our hearts melt as the government takes away our alcoholic friend. We watched ET: The Extra-Terrestrial!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Lauren, Daniel, Matthew

Princess Bride

Wed, 14 Feb 2018 11:18:24 -0500

Happy Valentine's Day! We arrived a day early to bring you a romantic classic about poison, vocabulary, and the legal definition of death; the Princess Bride! Come join the star of Saw, the First Lady from House of Cards, and a professional wrestler in a tale of mawwage!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: Everyone?

Panel: Candace, Thomas, Kelsey

Babe (1995)

Thu, 08 Feb 2018 00:00:00 -0500

Prepare to get your cute and cuddly on, this movie has James Cromwell! Daniel and I try to crack the code on what makes Babe so lovable in a seemingly forgotten classic that is wonderfully charming!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic

Defendant: Nic

Panel: Daniel

Predator (1987)

Thu, 01 Feb 2018 09:53:43 -0500

This time on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we look down the rabbit hole of the government hiding evidence of aliens! With only warrior for truth, Jesse "the Body" Ventura, there to stop it! Join two governors as they fight a hunter man and sort of the CIA.

Finally with a new year in front of us, please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! If you are on the social platforms follows us on Facebook or Twitter! If you are a fan of history, we are starting season two my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an series of interviews; available where ever you get your podcasts!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Panel: Jeremy and Matthew

Total Recall (1990)

Thu, 18 Jan 2018 12:45:23 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we get our ass to Mars! We watched Total Recall (1990), filled with all the charisma that only Arnold Schwartenegger can bring! So crack out that third boob as we get into the world of Philip K. Dick!

Plugs! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer forMST3K season 11), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, and I as we tackle Flesh Gordon, on Friday, Jan 19th and then attempt to scrub off the unclean feelings!

Afterwards, join us at CO for a meet and greet and a beer! I look forward to meeting all of you!

Finally with a new year in front of us, please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! If you are on the social platforms follows us on Facebook or Twitter, and we are starting a new YouTube Channel, which will have all the trailers for the shows and movies we review! If you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Defendant: Matthew
Panel: Jeremy

The Addams Family

Thu, 11 Jan 2018 00:00:00 -0500

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and spooky,
They're all together ooky, the Addams Family.
This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we have a feel good bit of fun with the Addams Family! Is it silly, yes! Is it funny, yes! Does it have a recognizable song that we try to sing despite being on Skype? You bet! Enjoy!

Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer forMST3K season 11), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, and I tackle Flesh Gordon, and then attempt to scrub off the unclean feelings!

Afterwards, join us at CO for a meet and greet and a beer! I look forward to meeting all of you!

Finally with a new year in front of us, please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! If you are on the social platforms follows us on Facebook or Twitter, and we are starting a new YouTube Channel, which will have all the trailers for the shows and movies we review! If you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: Jon

Panel: Jeremy, Daniel, and Matthew

Weird Science

Thu, 04 Jan 2018 14:27:16 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, John Hughes brings us back to a time were you couldn't use computers to look at pornography, so you had to use them to just make the women! What a crazy backward era! Also, crazy backward gender politics in a movie from someone who we thought knew better after Pretty in Pink, Breakfast Club, and Sixteen Candles. Oh, well, I guess threatening your SO's family with a gun was ok in Reagan's America.

Also, dear friends, thanks for all of you who supported Cineprov last year and I will see you in January! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer forMST3K season 11), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, and I tackle Flesh Gordon, and then attempt to scrub off the unclean feelings!

Afterwards, join us at CO for a meet and greet and a beer! I look forward to meeting all of you!

Finally, as the year winds down and a new one begins, please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! If you are on the social platforms follows us on Facebook or Twitter, and we are starting a new YouTube Channel, which will have all the trailers for the shows and movies we review! If you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Panel: Thomas, Jeremy, Daniel, Christina.

Gremlins

Thu, 21 Dec 2017 00:00:00 -0500

It's Gremlins week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood! Have you ever tried to get the perfect gift, but it turns out to be evil? Like you possessed dolls and so forth? Well, this is nothing like that because shit goes down due to incompetence!

Please do mean a favor! Rate and review us! iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy, Thomas

Die Hard

Thu, 14 Dec 2017 00:01:00 -0500

Well now! Pour yourself a stiff eggnog and relax by the fire with this Christmas classic as smoooooooth as Bing Crosby's smacking hand. Bruce Willis? Woo! Alan Rickman! Yesss! REGINALD VELJOHNSON?!?!?!?!? FUCK YEA! We are not entering the debate as to whether or not this is a Christmas movie, but rather, is this the greatest of all time.

Also, dear friends, thanks for all of you who supported Cineprov this year and I will see you in January! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer for MST3K season 11), Evan (from Evan and Garrett Take On The World and 99x), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, Christine, Holly and me tackle Flesh Gordon!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann
Panel: Nicolas and Daniel

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Thu, 07 Dec 2017 00:01:00 -0500

"Take a look, count to three, come with me, and you'll be in a world of Pure Imagination," I remembered that without lyric sheets, this movie is a favorite so listen as we have a bit of a love fest we even talk the Tim Burton meh version! This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we ponder is Grandpa Joe the greatest con artist of all time? We watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), he's just straight up killing kids, right?

Also, dear friends, if you like live comedy and want to support me, your host, come and watch me do the joke’em’ups as Cineprov Ruins Childhood Memories! Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer for MST3K season 11), Evan (from Evan and Garrett Take On The World and 99x), Candace of Lips Down On Dixie, Christine, Holly and me as we “welcome” in the “holidays” with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (The Rankin/Bass Classic) and The He-Man/She-Ra Christmas Special!

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Matthew, Daniel, Jeremy

Dune (1984, David Lynch)

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 00:01:00 -0500

Hello and Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you are preparing for or driving to a great meal! If not, I hope you are having a great day and we are getting you there. So we watched Dune (1984) and wow. I don't think we could say it any better than the director himself David Lynch. "Dune, I didn't have final cut on. It's the only film I've made where I didn't have. I didn't technically have final cut on The Elephant Man (1980), but Mel Brooks gave it to me, and on Dune the film, I started selling out, even in the script phase, knowing I didn't have final cut, and I sold out, so it was a slow dying-the-death, and a terrible, terrible experience. I don't know how it happened, I trusted that it would work out, but it was very naive and, the wrong move. In those days, the maximum length they figured I could have is two hours and seventeen minutes, and that's what the film is, so they wouldn't lose a screening a day, so once again, it's money talking, and not for the film at all, and so it was like compacted, and it hurt it, it hurt it. There is no other version. There's more stuff, but even that is putrefied."

Also, dear friends, if you like live comedy and want to support me, your host, come and watch me do the joke’em’ups as I riff with Cineprov.

How will Dune hold up?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Erin

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

Escape from LA

Thu, 16 Nov 2017 00:01:00 -0500

Well there, you know how the holidays seem fun and relaxing at first, but now that they are approaching, you just want to get away? Escape, if you will? Well, in honor of that (or, you know, just reaching), this week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we watched the CGI-tastic film Escape from LA (1996), the sequel America clamored for (?)!

Also, dear friends, if you like live comedy and want to support me, your host, come and watch me do the joke'em'ups as I riff over Santa Claus (1958) (AKA Santa vs the Devil) with Cineprov. Join Larry (our founder and comedy writer for MST3K season 11), Evan (from Evan and Garrett Take On The World and 99x) and me as we "welcome" in the "holidays" as Santa fights the war on Christmas!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Matt

Panel: Erin, Daniel, Matthew

Top Gun

Thu, 09 Nov 2017 00:01:00 -0500

Hold on to your heterosexuality, this is going to get manly. This week on Myopia: Defend Your Child, we worry whether she lost it, you know...We watched Top Gun (1986), do you feel the need?

And listen through the credits. Trust me.

Please, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

If you prefer the live comedy, my comedy group Cineprov is riffing over the movie Santa Claus vs the Devil at the Plaza theater on 12/7!

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas

Defendant: Nicolas

Panel: Daniel, Matthew, and Jeremy.

The Pagemaster

Thu, 02 Nov 2017 00:01:00 -0400

Why, hello there! Thank goodness we're done with that really creepy October (unless you want one more spook, than join my comedy group Cineprov is riffing over the movie Gargoyles (1972) at the Plaza theater on 11/2! THE DAY THIS DROPS). So this November, we decided to go with a little bit more family-friendly theme. We picked a handful of films that I, in particular, saw as a kid. All of these make me think of my brothers and family. We watched them together or they were always on. With that, we begin with a real train wreck.

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn that Macaulay Culkin and Christopher Lloyd made bad movies. (I know what you are thinking, but this is where I learned this). We watched The Pagemaster (1994), how would you like to curl up with a good book?

Event Horizon

Thu, 19 Oct 2017 00:01:00 -0400

Well there, buddy guy, Happy Tricks or Treats! Well, if you think all the peoples around deserve a treat, rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

If you prefer the live comedy, my comedy group Cineprov is riffing over the movie Gargoyles (1972) at the Plaza theater on 11/2 for all of your extra boogans!!

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we type in IDDQD as we enter a portal to hell itself! We watched Event Horizon (1997), From Hell? You don't believe in that kind of stuff, do you?

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Defendant: Jeremy

Panel: Daniel and Matthew

Army of Darkness

Thu, 12 Oct 2017 00:01:00 -0400

Hey there friend, want to help out a guy? Well, here is the ticket! Rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot! And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

If you prefer the live comedy, my comedy group Cineprov is riffing over the movie Gargoyles (1972) at the Plaza theater on 11/2!

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we hail to the King, baby! We watched Army of Darkness (1992), Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts?

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nicolas Hoffmann

Defendant: Scott

Panel: Matthew, Erin, Daniel

Blade Runner

Thu, 05 Oct 2017 00:01:00 -0400

First this! Rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean! Five stars helps a lot!

And if you are a fan of history, we just wrapped on season one of check out my history podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat with an episode on Sanctuary Cities; available where ever you get your podcasts!

Finally, if you want to see me in person, you should see the comedy group I am in, Cineprov, as the riff over Devil Dog on TODAY as this comes out at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta (I will riff over the shorts at the beginning).

In honor of Harrison Ford punching Ryan Gosling, I mean Blade Runner 2049, we divert from our standard spooky October procedure and watch a breathtaking film; Maelstrom...rather Blade Runner! Holy minatures Batman, this movie is excellent.

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Defendant: Jeremy

Panel: Matthew and Daniel

The Thing

Thu, 28 Sep 2017 00:10:00 -0400

Hey all! This week we admire some practical effects and love us some mustachioed Wilford Brimley and bemulleted Kurt Russell and get in the mood for some spookier and colder weather.

Some news! There is exciting things coming to Myopia and Dudeletter Podcasting, so why not follow us on Facebook or join the Facebook Group! Follow us on Twitter @myopiapodcast!

Rate and review us on iTunes!, Stitcher! or Podbean!

And if you are a fan of history, check out my History podcast with Alex Cummings, Doomed to Repeat; available where ever you get your podcasts!

Finally, if you want to see me in person, you should see the comedy group I am in, Cineprov, as the riff over Devil Dog on October 5th at the Plaza Theater in Atlanta (I will riff over the shorts at the beginning).

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we learn a thing or two about dogs! We watched John Carpenter's The Thing (1982), the best case the 1980's ever made against global warming.

How will you stand when we put your past on trial?

Host: Nic Hoffmann

Panel: Matthew, Matt, and Abbey

Bonus: Interview Matt Perini

Wed, 16 Dec 2015 15:03:26 -0500

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we continue my series interviewing podcasts. This week we wrap up our bond month and talk movies with our Bond expert Matt Perini and talk about an upcoming spin off series, Mission Briefing!

Enjoy!

Bonus: Interview - Eric Szyszka

Thu, 01 Oct 2015 01:01:00 -0400

This week on Myopia: Defend Your Childhood, we start what I hope will be a continuing series. I will go on to interview movie podcasters, reviewers, and theater programmers to talk about how they got into the business, what films they love, and see if we can't put a piece of their past on trial.

This week we have Eric Szyszka of We Hate Movies and Blame it On Outer Space. Enjoy!