Longest Days of our Lives | 24 Podcast

Day 3, Hour 10: The Unbearable Lightness of Beans

Tue, 27 Apr 2021 10:00:00 -0600

The boys are officially (sure!) back for hour 10 of 24 season three, and beans get spilled. Chase gets a burning desire, Oriol sabotages some beautiful American machinery, and Nina gives Jack an offer he can't refuse. Chloe O'brian ruins a teenager's day, Wayne Palmer makes bad choices. Get your gas cans ready, it's our best yet.

Day 3, Hour 9: Put Me in the Dickwater

Thu, 09 Jan 2020 13:00:00 -0600

The boys are back to sell Hour 9 of 24 season 3 to the highest bidder – and uh-oh, who's that? It's Nina goddamn Myers. David Palmer meets a cool Ben Carson, Jack Bauer gets a call on the terror hotline, and Wayne Palmer is both a bad brother and a bad chief of staff. Put on your crime clothes, because this is our best yet.

Day 3, Hour 8: We're All Pretty Ripped Up Here

Thu, 26 Dec 2019 11:00:00 -0600

It's a holiday miracle, and the boys are back to break down hour 8 of 24 season 3, and y'all things are about to get all freaky naughty. Ted Packard hands over some nasty documents, Chase lands a plane and Jack leaves a love letter for David Palmer. It's the best yet.

Day 3, Hour 7: These Hands Are Free

Mon, 16 Sep 2019 11:30:00 -0600

The boys are finally back to break down Hour 7 of season 3 of 24, and by golly someone's getting these dang hands. Ramon Salazar works on getting drunk enough to defenestrate, Jack Bauer makes a Most Unnecessary Kill, and Michael finds a big stack of money in the molestand.

Day 3, Hour 6: Big Torpedo Full of Boys

Wed, 10 Jul 2019 17:54:05 -0600

This week (month?) the boys finally break down Hour 6 of 24 Season 3, and boy howdy it's a doozy. Curtis finally remembered to hit record, Jack Bauer and Ramon Salazar make a break for it, and we create the summer's hottest new show – Jared Leto Presents: Celebrity Plane Jousting.

Day 3, Hour 5: Take Your Daughter to Treason Day

Wed, 15 May 2019 14:30:00 -0600

The boys are back to break down Hour 5 of 24 season 3! This week, everyone at CTU learns the shocking truth that Kim is bad at her job. Jack and Ramon make a break for it and are immediately stopped. Chase tries out the latest in AR, and David Palmer makes a whoopsie uh-oh.

Day 3, Hour 4: Jack Fast Jack Furious

Thu, 04 Apr 2019 17:39:28 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 4 of 24 season 3, and it's a dang riot. Kyle Singer sees a Shevy Chillveradro, Jack takes no answer for an answer, Michelle Dessler takes charge, and Tony Almeida takes pride in his theoretical heritage. David Palmer does his thing.

Day 3, Hour 3: Uh Oh, Cordeli-Os!

Wed, 13 Mar 2019 23:41:15 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 3 of 24 season 3, and all hell breaks loose. Gael Ortega gets up to mole shenanigans, Jack Bauer is just itching for that good horse, Kyle Singer pays the rent and Tony Almeida gets a bit too big for his britches. Chloe starts to grow on all of us.

Day 3, Hour 2: Toy Story 99 - Drag Me to Hell

Tue, 26 Feb 2019 20:01:58 -0600

The boys break down Hour 2 of 24Season 3, and Mike finally makes a coherent argument why Tom Hanks needs to do better. Unfortunately, it requires praising Tim Allen. Jack kicks a horse. Kim spills all kinds of beans. David consults a physician, and WE GET A MOLE ALERT!

Day 3, Hour 1: Another One of Those Days

Fri, 15 Feb 2019 14:00:00 -0600

The boys are back for a brand new day – it's finally 24 season 3, and Jack Bauer sure picked a bad day to quit shooting heroin! David Palmer gets up to his old tricks, Kim Bauer has an unlikely new career, Tony and Michelle are bad at marriage, and hey, is that Zachary Quinto? Curtis refuses to make predictions.

Day 2, Hour 24: All The President's Man

Wed, 23 Jan 2019 13:31:00 -0600

The boys are finally back with the season finale of 24 season 2! Jack takes a ride on the neck-go-round, Peter Kingsley likes to play a game, Tony says yeah, and David Palmer gets a redemptive handshake. We run completely out of time.

Day 2, Hour 23: Anti-Medicine Man

Fri, 28 Sep 2018 00:01:00 -0600

This week, the boys finally break down Hour 23 of 24 season 2, and it's a doozy! Jack Bauer practices bad medicine. Sherry Palmer suffers a flesh wound, Kim Bauer meets her Spider-man, and Tobin Bell continues to play those Tobin Bell games. We call out LA's pitiful excuse for a river. Highlights include:

Bad war profiteering
Knife gifts
The Cage Fight Amendment
The Witch Kim of Angmar
Michael wonders what even is crime?

Day 2, Hour 22: Tony and Michelle's Ragtime Special

Thu, 23 Aug 2018 01:00:00 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 22 of 24 season 2, and things start to get WILD. David Palmer fights against his captivity, Jack makes a new buddy, Sherry Palmer misreads a situation, and Gary Matheson comes home for the essentials: dollars, drugs and drawers. Kim pops and can't stop. Highlights include:

Dudes being dudes being guys.
Advanced puppy calculus
Doubletap for daddy?
Curtis weaves a tangled Tom Hanks web of deception
Dollars, Drugs and Drawers

Day 2, Hour 21: Last President Standing

Fri, 27 Jul 2018 14:40:05 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 21 of 24 season 2! This week, Jack Bauer kills a mirror, Tony Almeida swings that thang, and David Palmer faces a drastic miscarriage of the 25th amendment. We are all deeply, profoundly drunk through the entire episode. Enjoy!

Day 2, Hour 20: Thar Be a Blowtorch

Fri, 13 Jul 2018 10:00:00 -0600

Better hold your mud because this week the boys break down Hour 20 of 24 season 2! Jack returns from the grave for a dose of the worst medicine of all time. Lynne Kresge takes a tumble. David Palmer faces a coup. Tony Almeida swings that thang. The boys talk too much, again. Highlights include:

Just your standard lung paralysis drug.
Wednesday Adams goes boom.
Whatever the opposite of Urban Dictionary is
Still. No. Kim.

Day 2, Hour 19: Ron Swanson Race War

Fri, 29 Jun 2018 06:08:19 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 19 of 24 Season 2, and Jack Bauer engages in some non-consensual nip play. We celebrate our first Kim-free episode, David Palmer faces a new threat, and we meet our newest villain: Jigsaw. Highlights include:

Mike throws a B52 off a helicarrier.
Michael unburdens himself.
Curtis declares war on behalf of the Secretary of Commerce.
Bargain-bin James Spader gets weird on them nips.

Day 2, Hour 18: Brought a Gun to a Flu Fight

Tue, 12 Jun 2018 06:10:18 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 18 of 24 Season 2, and there was a FIREFIGHT. Jack and Yusuf kill a few dozen dudes, Kate notches her first kill, and David Palmer drops the hammer on Marietta, GA. Kim meets some new beans, spills them. Highlights include:

Curtis gives us the talk.
Marietta, the town that never sleeps.
Do federal agencies keep K/D ratios?
Michael remembers the friends we made along the way.
Sandler power rankings

Day 2, Hour 17: Funky Jack and the Midnight Gang

Tue, 22 May 2018 00:00:00 -0600

It's finally the Wiiiitching Hour on Season 2 of 24, and the boys mostly just ignore the show this episode. Jack Bauer goes rogue once again and meets up with the Coral Snake brigade. David Palmer gets slow-walked into a military coup, and a murderer mansplains crime to Kim. The 24 writers' room struggles with the military. It's a doozy! Highlights include:

Collusion!
What even is a Delta Force?
Jack makes a friend
Michelle Dessler practices very unsafe IT security.

Day 2, Hour 16: Fallout Boys

Fri, 11 May 2018 14:35:03 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 16 of 24 Season 2, and everyone's got consequences to face. Jack Bauer returns to CTU, Tony gets crossed up so bad he leaves the court, Michelle finds a brand new conspiracy, and David Palmer gets ready for war. We join all the secret societies. Highlights include:

Snooper roofles.
Queen Elizabeth, head of the Belluminati
Jack breaks Syed Ali twice
Curtis demands more Tom Hanks, weird.
Kim finds more mortal peril.

Day 2, Hour 15: Crash Georgicoot

Fri, 27 Apr 2018 11:00:00 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 15 of 24 season 2, and things get spicy. Jack taxis down the nopeway from Nopeton Airfield, David Palmer steals footage from Air Force One, George Mason grabs some glory, and Kim Bauer meets another cougar. We all pour one out for our boy. Highlights include:

Another one of the worst phone possible calls to overhear.
CTU intrigues!
Tony’s terrorist dowsing rod.
Z-CUBES

Day 2, Hour 14: Jackarina of Time

Thu, 19 Apr 2018 03:30:00 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 14 of 24 Season 2, and we're finally getting places. Michael needlessly and cruelly mocks Xander Berkeley's hairline, Curtis finally settles the great Tom Hanks vs. Denzel Washington, and Cush gets escorted by Agent Tom Baker. We all get mad at Force Ghosts. Highlights include:

G Mase Kreuger
Warner Sisters
We've got a Broken Arrow!
Sherry Palmer finally gets hers

Day 2, Hour 13: Cat Piss and Jizz Party

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 16:12:15 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 13 of 24 Season 2! Kim Bauer briefly keeps a secret, and then spills a double helping of them beans. Jack Bauer steps into a Coral Snake commando cat piss party, David Palmer continues his torture boner, and Sherry Palmer jumps into a conspiracy with both feet. Highlights include:

Lonnie builds a Friend Zone in his survival bunker.
CTU is bad at CTRL+F.
What do you call 3 dots in a row? It's like a...like, a line.
More Tom Hanks horseshit.

Day 2, Hour 12: Oops Secret Sex Room

Thu, 29 Mar 2018 16:15:01 -0600

This week, the boys break down Hour 12 of 24 Season 2, and uh...it gets uncomfortable. Jack Bauer brings Syed Ali to his laughing place, Kim Bauer goes from a cougar trap to a Dillon trap, David Palmer gets off on CCTV torture porn. Sherry makes a hat statement. Highlights include:

The Best Heaven is Mike Pence Hell.
Hidden Doorway, Secret Sex Room
Johnny Dramaaaaaaaa
Let the wild cougar rumpus begin!
Wow, everybody sucks huh?

Day 2, Hour 11: Welcome to Cougartown

Fri, 23 Mar 2018 18:00:00 -0600

This week, we break down hour 11 of 24 season 2. David Palmer encourages a former Green Beret to get back into his laughing place, Jack and Kate's plans to nab Syed Ali almost go up in flames, Marie interrupts taco time at the machine shop, and Kim finally goes and Kims herself right into the cougar trap. Highlights include:

Careless whispers revealed.
Crank 3: Roger That.
Small chairs and short pants.
Toy Story video games are a lie.

Day 2, Hour 10: Cabal Me By Your Name

Thu, 15 Mar 2018 17:22:21 -0600

This week, the boys break down 24 season 2, hour 10! David Palmer uncovers a venomous cabal arrayed against him, Jack Bauer shoots a man in the face with a beanbag, and Kim Bauer races toward the feline encounter we've all been waiting for. G Mase loses his edge, and Tony gets a date. Highlights include:

Trojan Horse PasswordZ ;)
Tiny clocks strike for thee.
The Wire Season 6: 24
Blonde and bad.

Day 2, Hour 9: On a Wing and a Flare

Thu, 08 Mar 2018 15:35:32 -0600

This week, we break down hour 9 of 24 season 2. Jack Bauer shows a flare for murder, Kim heads back to the big city, Nina pulls a predictable double-cross, and we're pretty sure Reza isn't getting married today. Highlights include:

Curtis still don't trust nobody.
Somehow the Warner sisters each become worse.
Paul loses some rough edges.
Bauer's Hierarchy of Murder

Day 2, Hour 8: Big Bad Nuclear Beans

Thu, 01 Mar 2018 14:00:00 -0600

This week, the boys break down 24 Season 2, Hour 8 and say hello to Maz Jobrani! George Mason finally dials up his Bauer power. The NROC heats up. Kim spills those big, bad nuclear beans. Nina finally gets an edge. Literally everyone commits treason. We're still running out of time. Highlights include:

Pools are cool because you meet cool people.
Benlo Park with Beyonce and friend
Moles on moles!
Kate Warner/Kim Bauer hate-off

Day 2, Hour 7: Visalia Rising

Thu, 01 Feb 2018 17:17:33 -0600

Oh snap, the boys are back! We break down Hour 7 of 24 season 2 and catch up on all of Jack Bauer's good shenanigans. After a bit of a hiatus, we dive right back into the bustling town of Visalia, CA – City of Industry! In what is essentially a Chamber of Commerce-sponsored tourism ad for Visalia, the boys continue to dunk on the Warner sisters, love on Tony Almeida and admire Jack's murder restraint. Buckle up and check out the ruins of Visalia's only antique store.

Day 2, Hour 6: Happy Hanksgiving

Thu, 23 Nov 2017 19:02:40 -0600

This week, we discuss Hour 6 of 24 Season 2. This week, Jack Bauer keeps cool under pressure, Tony's true form is unleashed, Kate Warner reveals the true extent of her terrible sister powers, and Miguel channels his inner Chuck Norris. It's a heck of an episode. Highlights include:

Careless whispershouts.
Nina loses her hands and feets.
Jack Bauer, senseless murder puppy.
Curtis admits he has a nerd problem.

Day 2, Hour 5: Privileged White Girl Banishment Spell

Thu, 16 Nov 2017 19:37:34 -0600

This week, we discuss Hour 5 of 24 Season 2. And man, you can really tell we didn't want to. Jack finds himself back in command, Kim finds a new boyfriend, and Marie Warner finds out you can't banish an FBI agent with white privilege. Paula loses more of that very important blood. Highlights include:

Chopper problems.
We slurp from your soup bowl.
Curtis bombs the harbor.
24: Cult sounds cool as hell.

Day 2, Hour 4: Four-Hour Murder Boner

Fri, 10 Nov 2017 15:31:03 -0600

This week, we discuss Hour 4 of 24 Season 2, and dammit Kiefer found out about the drinking game. Jack Bauer gets his men, Kim finds some legal trouble, Tony Almeida struggles with command, and G Mase prepares for organ soup in his pants. We wonder where all the dang ZIP disks went. We're pretty sure that puppy is OK. Highlights include:

Curtis casts the spell, Dickbag Leviosa
Mike shares his uncle's VERY GOOD visualization techniques.
Kate Warner is the absolute damn worst.
Hey NYC...LA heard you were talking shit.

Day 2, Hour 3: Explosive Patriotism

Fri, 03 Nov 2017 15:25:28 -0600

This week, we discuss Hour 3 of 24 Season 2 and we make a definitive call – the Oxford comma sucks. Jack Bauer makes a special delivery, Kim saves her smaller self, Kate is a bad sister, and Cubby survives. Patriots make an explosive entrance, and Curtis writes a deeply erotic novel. Highlights include:

Sean Astin is a Stranger Things serial killer. Sorry.
Lynne Kresge makes an enemy.
Fucking, War and Peace
Curtis defines a nope-able situation.

Day 2, Hour 2: Always Leave a Nope

Sat, 28 Oct 2017 09:27:58 -0600

We're back to discuss Hour 2 of 24 Season 2, and Jack finally gets ahead of some terrorists. The boys discuss emergency evacuations, Kim Bauer makes two very bad choices, Palmer gets horrible diarrhea, and Dave the terrorist develops some late-life joint problems. Highlights include:

Mass hysteria and panic, drink!
G Mase gets up to his old tricks.
Curtis explains the Great Theory of Nope.
Tony swangin' that thang.
Hey there, Cowboy.

Day 2, Hour 1: Jacksaw

Fri, 20 Oct 2017 07:40:33 -0600

We're back with Season 2 of 24, and the boys were excited to see Jack add a new phase to the cycle of grief: murder. David Palmer goes fishing, Kim Bauer makes a run for it, and Jack learns the blade. We're already out of time. Highlights include:

Oops, they really leaned into the brown terrorists.
Mini-Kim gonna Kim.
Y'all, I just don't trust Gary.
CTU Mole Race has begun.

Jack Bauer Recap: Hanks 4 the Memories

Thu, 05 Oct 2017 21:28:26 -0600

This week, the boys take a stroll down memory lane to help Curtis work out all the feelings that 24 Season 1 made him feel. We talk moles, Sherry's terrible betrayal, and what the future holds for one Jack Bauer. We'll kick off Season 2 next week, so buckle up your butts.

Day 1, Hour 24: Bauer Begins

Fri, 29 Sep 2017 12:30:00 -0600

This week, we break down Hour 24 of 24 Season 1, and dammit we do it live! David makes an important staffing decision, the Drazens make a critical mistake, Jack unleashes the vans of war, and Nina shows off her Rosetta Stone skills.

Day 1, Hour 23: Bombs Over Bad Dads

Thu, 21 Sep 2017 14:54:40 -0600

This week, we break down Hour 23 of 24 Season 1 and Things. Finally. Pop. Off. We finally learn the second mole in CTU, Jack and Palmer have an explosive reunion, Sherry shows her true colors, and Kim takes a leap of, well, not faith. Highlights include:

A trip to the orchard.
Seriously, can Teri's day get any worse?
Call an employment lawyer.
The boys do their level best to break Mike in half.

Day 1, Hour 22: Cherry-Poppin' Sherry

Thu, 14 Sep 2017 16:50:45 -0600

This week, we break down Hour 22 of 24 Season 1 and bask in the first episode without any Kim Bauer dialogue. David Palmer begins to test executive privilege, Sherry hatches a sexy plot, Teri puts Nina in an awkward position, and Jack gets his bell rung. It's almost so ready to pop off, you guys. Highlights include:

The Kim Bauer Quiet Hour
Victor Drazen pops off.
Playing some pattycake!
My dinner-a Borak, very nice.

Day 1, Hour 21: Lou Diamonds in the Sky

Thu, 07 Sep 2017 15:50:20 -0600

This week, the boys pour one out for everyone's hero: Lou Diamond Phillips, secret DoD prison warden. David Palmer gets a sensual back rub, Jack has some tummy issues, Teri gets more bad news and Kim epitomizes white privilege. Jack Bauer's murderous rage begins to coil like a spring. Highlights include:

We all do our best Victor Drazen accent, and it turns out we're better than Dennis Hopper.
Kim refuses to take any blame for her bad choices.
We cut five minutes of David Palmer sex improv. You're welcome.
Captain Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters

Day 1, Hour 20: Daddy Issues

Thu, 31 Aug 2017 01:00:00 -0600

This week, we break down Hour 20 of 24 Season 1. Jack Bauer makes friends with Lou Diamond Phillips, David Palmer completes the implosion of his marriage, Andre Drazen proves his tactical genius, and Kim begins her law career. The Drazen family reveals its most hilarious accent yet. Highlights include:

Curtis finally tells us what he thinks of David Palmer.
Sherry goes sub-zero.
A wild Adam Sandler appears.
Tase everyone, bro.
The Father, the Young Guns, and the Serbian Ghosts

Day 1, Hour 19: Dildo Swaggins

Thu, 24 Aug 2017 01:15:00 -0600

This week, we discuss Hour 19 of 24 season 1...it's mostly about the dumbest drug deal of all time. David Palmer has the longest press conference of all time to finally send his son to jail, Tony finally makes himself useful, Frank makes a deal, and Jack spends some time in a field. Jovan offers Teri a very bad deal. Highlights include:

Frank makes a ginger friend.
Kim conveniently gets smart for a minute. And then dumb again.
Did George Mason and I just become best friends?
Sherry remains the best and only Palmer worth liking.
Cush Zunes in on the action.

Day 1, Hour 18: Bauer Bonds

Thu, 17 Aug 2017 14:22:33 -0600

This week, we discuss Hour 18 of 24 season 1. Jack Bauer makes a friend in a flower pot, Kim gets caught in the dumbest drug deal of all time, and David plays gotcha journalism with Sherry. Michael gives a history lesson on bearer bonds, and the boys take an hour and a half to make the most obvious joke imaginable. Highlights include:

Your shirt is my shirt.
Curtis flies under the radar better than Sully.
Captain America sucks.
Whoa, is that Scarface on the podcast?
That's one way to slow someone down.

Day 1, Hour 17: Cut My Spy Into Pieces

Thu, 10 Aug 2017 14:00:00 -0600

This week, we discuss Hour 17 of 24 season 1. The boys discuss Kim’s apparent immortality, while amnesiac Teri meets a doctor with a briefcase full of dildos. Jack Bauer lays a trap that goes horribly, predictably wrong, and Elizabeth has a pointed conversation. We finally start running out of time. Highlights include:

Kim MacBauer of the Clan MacBauer
Teri is the most indiscreet adulterer of all time.
Jack explains the magic of fiber optics.
David Palmer remains true to his self.
Stab on them folks.

Day 1, Hour 16: One, Maybe Two, 'Poons

Thu, 03 Aug 2017 13:00:00 -0600

This week we discuss Hour 16 of 24 season 1. The CTU safe house’s lawn gets a lengthy manicure, Elizabeth learns a sexy, dangerous secret about her lover, and we see Teri’s spirit physically fly out of her body. Jack spends some time yelling into a phone, and Keith Palmer hatches a devious plan. Highlights include:

Nina gets her feelings hurt.
George Mason returns to the fold.
David attempts fatherhood for two full minutes.
Jovan Myovic proves he can also make a mess.
GOOD HANDS.
Kim came so close to actually making us happy.

Day 1, Hour 15: The California Drazens

Fri, 28 Jul 2017 10:30:05 -0600

This week, we break down hour 15 of 24’s first season. We finally put a name to the angelic face of our sexy assassin: it’s a brand new Drazen. Palmer and Jack finally meet face-to-face, Kim is unsure how is babby formed, and Teri comes to an uncomfortable realization. The boys finally go a week without talking about Sully. Highlights include:

Everyone follows protocol (drink).
The sweatiest spy boy.
Kim, maybe just take a nap again and stop ruining things.
David Palmer straight up hired a hitman.
An ignoble end in a dank NOLA bathroom.
Reinstate this.

The following takes place between 2:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.

Day 1, Hour 14: Chappelle's Show

Thu, 20 Jul 2017 14:00:00 -0600

This week, we break down Hour 14 of 24 Season 1, and boy-howdy is it a lot of exposition. Keith Palmer takes over his father’s mission to land him in prison, Teri and Kim get a check-up, and Jack finally gets some peace and quiet. Nina runs into a thoroughly professional phone cleaner, and the boys come around on Tony Almeida. Highlights include:

Hot diggity damn, that’s a sexy assassin.
Y’all know people can hear you shouting about murder, yeah?
People eat.
Alas, poor Kevin.
Someone put a ring on it!
Sorry Cush talks so much in this one.

The following takes place between 1:00 p.m. and 2:00 p.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.

Day 1, Hour 13: No Pain, No Gaines

Thu, 13 Jul 2017 14:28:46 -0600

This week, we break down Hour 13 of 24 Season 1. Jack finds light in a hopeless place, Kim becomes the greatest threat to her family, and Palmer is forced to start playing the game. The boys enjoy a thirsty mid-season finale, and the body count finally rises. Highlights include:

Teri goes on a frustrating escort mission.
Tony works the system.
Rick doesn't quite grasp how to interact with your girlfriend's dad.
You a coward, Kevin!
Ira successfully baits a shark.

Day 1, Hour 12: Bullets Don't Make Me Horny

Thu, 06 Jul 2017 18:30:00 -0600

Honestly, does CTU even have a scheduling department? This week, Jack finally infiltrates the terrorist compound, Kim shows a flash of Bauer DNA, and David Palmer continues his chase for the Worst Father of 2001 Award. Gaines gets his man. Rick looks for Eli, finds another van. Highlights include:

Teri’s got a good head on her shoulders.
Tony comes danger close to cracking under pressure.
That’s just not how HIPAA works.
Did David Palmer ruin the Obama presidency?
CTU and the open office romance.
Light a fire, leave no man behind.

Day 1, Hour 11: Cowards and Snitches

Wed, 28 Jun 2017 15:45:07 -0600

The following takes place between 10:00 a.m. and 11:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. We break down Hour 11 of 24 Season 1. Jack Bauer makes a strong bid for worst Uber driver of all time, while Nina and Tony jump into hot water with the new CTU boss. Gaines continues to lose control ahead of a rapidly approaching deadline, and Teri straps up. The Palmers go to school, and David somehow becomes more intolerable. The boys reveal just how quickly they'd break under interrogation (spoiler: don't tell us any secrets). Highlights include:

Jack finds his laughin' place
Kim catches some shut-eye
Pretty sure that's not how tummies work
Mandy continues to fly under the radar
The 24 that might have been
David Palmer is bad at basically everything
Someone was smart enough to not give Dan a working gun

Day 1, Hour 10 - A Very Zool Episode

Wed, 21 Jun 2017 16:00:00 -0600

The following takes place between 9:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. The life of our CTU mole, Jamey, hangs in the balance, Jack rolls around in a parking lot, and Milo narrows down the location of a cellular telephone to somewhere in North America, maybe. Gaines has lost control of his operation and the big boss is threatening to pull the plug, the money, and Ira's life. Alberta Green finally makes it to the office, but where is Rayburn? Jack follows a lead so bright, he's got to steal shades. This was the first recording back from the hiatus, and the boys forget how to intro and who the captain is, but they always remember Tom Hanks contributions to cinema. Highlights include:

Terrible Aerosmith karoake
A rare perceptive moment by Rick
Jack probably makes Eli poop his pants
The kindergarden roast of David Palmer
Dr. Alberta Green, love guru
Flight 2: Electric Goosaloo

Day 1, Hour 9 – We’ve All Got Problems

Wed, 14 Jun 2017 16:00:00 -0600

The following takes place between 8:00 a.m. and 9:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time.

Following the attempt on David Palmer’s life, it takes Jack Bauer approximately 6 minutes to escape FBI custody and give a waitress absolute hell for the whole episode. Gaines starts to lose his cool. Jamey has a very low price tag, Lauren doesn’t earn a tip, and Sherry pulls some strings. The show gets a little gross. The boys question David Palmer’s commitment to fatherhood. Highlights include:

Jack finally tells someone they’re running out of time.
Jack’s video game cutscene escape.
Milo just wanna get paid.
Ill-advised bear mace.
The weirdest one-sided phone conversation.
The Secret Service secret sauce: incompetence.
Kim believes in magic.
The plot thickens.

Day 1, Hour 8 - It's a (Mole) Trap!

Fri, 17 Mar 2017 15:00:00 -0600

The following takes place between 7:00 a.m. and 8:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. The big labor leaders’ breakfast finally approaches, and the buffet table is pretty disappointing. Jack smuggles a weapon and David Palmer espouses the worst of Democratic politics. Tony Almeida joins the circle of trust, the Secret Service drops the ball, and the boys start to question our bad guys’ motives. Kim and Teri have a close shave. Cush struggles with his segues. Highlights include:

Is David Palmer actually a bad person?
Starting to detect some MAJOR PLOT HOLES.
The biggest laptop case in existence.
Michael brags about all his cool talents.
Jack earns a sexy admirer.
Tony’s little brother syndrome remains in full effect.
Curtis continues to question Jack’s murder prowess.
The plot thickens.

Day 1, Hour 7 - Sun's Out, Guns Out

Thu, 09 Mar 2017 23:00:00 -0600

The following takes place between 6:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. The sun is rising in LA, which means everyone has free rein to start shooting guns willy-nilly. Some of the shots even hit their target. The Palmers plan a family meeting. Kim and Teri plot their escapes. Jack takes a hostage. The mole is finally revealed, and the boys’ man-crush on Ira Gaines intensifies with every passing second. Highlights include:

Nina almost solves the entire plot, but it’s only Hour 7.
Keith throws a temper tantrum.
Rick earns, but does not receive, his final reward.
Michael reveals the hard limits of his friendship.
Teri makes some questionable choices.
Jack worries about unwanted attention. Jack ignores subtlety. Like, just a bunch.
Finally, CTU colleagues who haven’t been gettin’ busy.
Tony’s nosiness finally comes in handy.
Curtis. Was. Right.

Day 1, Hour 6 - Find a Hole and Figure it Out

Thu, 02 Mar 2017 15:00:00 -0600

The following takes place between 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. This week’s episode delivers a lot of laughter, a lot of love…and one pretty significant murder. The boys are joined by return host Oded who drops some critical orthopedic knowledge. Jack requisitions government property for a family reunion. Senator David Palmer digs deeper into family secrets. Rick digs to China, and Janet catches her breath. The wheels come completely off the podcast at least three times. Highlights include:

Death, the ultimate health complication.
Tony practices helicopter parenting
Palmer’s Secret Service details has more holes than 24’s plot.
Suspicious Dad is definitely a human who produced a human daughter through consensual human sex.
#NotMyFirstLady
Autopsy is a team sport.
This is a Captain Chesley “Sully" Sullenberger podcast now.
Never pull out. Of the political race.
Jack breaks a promise for the last time.

Day 1, Hour 5 - A Dan's Purpose

Thu, 23 Feb 2017 23:00:00 -0600

The following takes place between 4:00 a.m. and 5:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. The boys lament the lack of dope-ass codenames among our bad guys, and federal agents continue to pretend warrants don't exist. Jack successfully manipulates literally everyone he talks to and shows some pretty serious disdain for due process. David Palmer wrestles with a heavy conscience, and a member of his family blessedly catches a nap. Alan has a really dumb face. Dan hits the deck. George Mason has inconvenient timing, and Curtis weighs the merits of just letting Kim Bauer die. Highlights include:

Surgical theater, free admission.
I just love you. To death.
Janet has the quickest surgery of all time.
Is Jack just a deadly Michael Scott?
Journalistic integrity crumbles like a toddler-made cookie.
Mason realizes time is a flat circle and Jack never stops.
All white girls are the same to Curtis.
Jack finally realizes he works for a federal agency.
Rick gets a promotion.

Day 1, Hour 4 - A Glass of Danger Juice

Mon, 13 Feb 2017 18:06:58 -0600

The following takes place between 3:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary. Events occur in real time. Welcome to the witching hour on the day of the California primary. In the fourth hour of the first longest day of Jack's life, we get a whole raft of 24 firsts: Jack’s first dammit, first CTU lockdown, our first Jack Bauer team-up! Alan and Teri get away with being white, the Palmers practice dangerous breakfast habits, Kim inadvertently promotes the murder of her best friend, and Jack goes rogue for the first – and almost certainly the last – time. Highlights include:

Hey Rayburn, eat a danish on your own time.
David Palmer sips on some danger juice.
Y’all wanna watch some tube?
Jamey hacks things very slowly.
Jack meets his greatest enemy: stairs.
Everyone been on that Rosetta Stone tip.
Michael forgets about being white.

Day 1, Hour 3 - Everything's Copa

Sun, 22 Jan 2017 08:00:00 -0600

The following takes place between 2:00 a.m. and 3:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary.
Events occur in real time. In the third hour of the first longest day of Jack's life, his wife Teri does...well, nothing. Senator David Palmer faces a dark revelation from his family's past, Bridgit and Mandy make an ill-advised power play, Janet gets a taste of that black tar heroin, Jack confronts suspected mole Nina Myers, and mutiny begins a'brewing! Joined by our first special guest, the gang tackles all of this and much, much more in this third episode of Longest Day of Our Lives. Highlights include:

Mandy keeps her backhand strong.
Michael continues his good good music insights.
Hooligans gonna hooligan.
Janet receives the ultimate painkiller.
Jack Bauer's tattoos push the boundaries of good taste.
Kim interrupts the new BJ economy and ignores spinal stabilization protocols.

Day 1, Hour 2 - Thumbs Up!

Sun, 15 Jan 2017 12:07:47 -0600

The following takes place between 1:00 a.m. and 2:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary.
Events occur in real time. In the second hour of the first longest day of Jack's life, Jack gets his first on-screen kill, Palmer ghosts from his hotel room to take care of a secret, we meet our first Big Bad of the season and find out that the Kimnapping is part of the larger conspiracy, and Jack maybe finds out the identity of the CTU mole. The gang tackles all of this and much, much, more in this second episode of Longest Day of our Lives. Highlights include:

Almost boobies and pyromania
Terrible music in the Rick & Douche shaggin' wagon
Palmer lies about his basketball accomplishments
Jack's questionable conditioning and catching abilities
Terri doesn't know how to talk to an answering machine
The financial and scheduling logistics of presidential candidate assassination attempts

Day 1, Hour 1 - Kimnapped!

Sun, 15 Jan 2017 12:07:35 -0600

The following takes place between midnight and 1:00 a.m., on the day of the California Presidential Primary.
Events occur in real time. In just the first hour of the longest day of Jack's life, Jack has to deal with a daughter who has snuck out to party, a credible threat on a presidential candidate's life, a boss he has to shoot with a tranq gun to get important information, a possible mole in CTU, and finally, a 747 blowing up in midair over the Mojave desert. The gang tackles all of this and much, much, more in this first episode of Longest Day of our Lives. Highlights include:

Why is everyone's hair so awful?
Jack's very professional wardrobe
Curtis tells us who been f'in
How is Kim this terrible?
Jack's hierarchy of compromise
Horny assassins and their methods