Keeping Up With The Jones

Episode 49

Sun, 14 Aug 2022 21:56:39 -0500

I was massaging the hole in my mouth where I had a tooth removed. I will show you the hole.

Episode 48

Sun, 19 Jun 2022 21:54:54 -0500

My life is a love letter to humanity. What the globalists do is a hate letter, a curse.

Episode 47

Wed, 13 Jan 2021 23:18:26 -0500

Q tells us stuff and all of its lies is what I'm saying. You're full of shit. That's why! Because every god damn thing out of you people's mouths doesn't come true. It's always...Oh there's energy. Oh now we're done with Trump. You said he was the Messiah. You said he was invisible. You said it was all over. That we're all going to Gitmo. Now oh he's part of a bigger thing of Q. I will not suffer your Q people after this! I knew what you were day 1. I know what you are now and I'M SICK OF IT! I'm sick of all these witches and warlocks and pumpkins popsums. And everything. Oh god. I'm sorry. I can't talk to you anymore. Jesus Christ.

Episode 46

Tue, 17 Nov 2020 22:24:53 -0500

We declare independence from the communist concession speech that the globalists are demanding in order to give their offering to Satan.

Episode 45

Wed, 21 Oct 2020 20:14:56 -0500

Spoiler alert: The fly was a drone.

Episode 44

Sun, 04 Oct 2020 15:04:27 -0500

Your technocracy is dead on arrival! You understand that? We are in charge of the planet! Not Satan! You think you're going to have this fight and have robots win it? NO! We'll defeat you and your god damn robots. You understand that? Damn you to hell, Satanist!

Episode 43

Thu, 17 Sep 2020 21:07:36 -0500

Secrets, secrets are no fun. Secrets, secrets hurt someone. I'm talking to you, globalists! I don't keep secrets!

Episode 42

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 22:20:49 -0500

The future is now! The future is in this podcast. A podcast that the globalists are daring you not to listen to. They are double dog daring you. Double hot dog daring you!

Episode 41

Wed, 12 Aug 2020 21:47:23 -0500

This episode is brought to you by My Body Glue Paste.

Episode 40

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 20:23:48 -0500

We got flies.

Episode 39

Thu, 07 May 2020 20:46:08 -0500

Aloe is nature's skin graft.

Episode 38

Mon, 27 Apr 2020 17:28:10 -0500

I go to the bathroom to piss!

Episode 37

Thu, 16 Apr 2020 19:44:07 -0500

I've been banned in the shadows and otherwise for being anti-communist.

Episode 36

Thu, 09 Apr 2020 22:02:12 -0500

This has everything you need to know about 5G and how to protect yourself.

Episode 35

Thu, 02 Apr 2020 19:56:30 -0500

News you could and should use!

Episode 33

Sat, 14 Mar 2020 14:37:40 -0500

I'd like to introduce you to the elephant in the room.

Episode 32

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 21:29:28 -0500

As we all know, the EPA wants to regulate your farts.

Episode 31

Tue, 04 Feb 2020 20:47:40 -0500

Literal vampire pot belly goblins are hobbling 'round coming after us.

Episode 30

Tue, 14 Jan 2020 20:50:36 -0500

People don’t have GOD, they don’t have FAMILY, all they have is NETFLIX.

Episode 29

Wed, 04 Dec 2019 21:44:39 -0500

What's the trouble with Treblin?

Episode 28

Fri, 22 Nov 2019 19:24:26 -0500

“I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War when I was shot at and I simply...it was almost impossible for me to sweat." -Prince Andrew, Duke of York, 8th in line of the throne

Episode 27

Thu, 14 Nov 2019 19:57:14 -0500

Big words mean big ideas.

Episode 26

Fri, 08 Nov 2019 17:13:45 -0500

I am not responsible for the smashed bullet on my ex-wife's lawn. I'm also not responsible for the cameras that have been pointed at her property or the drone that peers in her window. That is not me. She's not on drugs and her hard drive is safe. Case closed.

Episode 25

Mon, 28 Oct 2019 17:00:53 -0500

If anything's worth the fear, it's worth the fight.

Episode 24

Tue, 01 Oct 2019 21:04:39 -0500

PODCASTER HARASSMENT!!!

Episode 23

Thu, 05 Sep 2019 22:12:03 -0500

Welcome to the neck episode.

Episode 22

Thu, 29 Aug 2019 21:07:59 -0500

The nipples tell me all I need to know about a person.

Episode 21

Thu, 18 Jul 2019 07:45:32 -0500

Credit where credit is due, but I'll need to see 2 forms of ID.

Episode 20

Wed, 26 Jun 2019 21:42:46 -0500

I'm going down down baby your street in a Range Rover. Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go.

Episode 19

Wed, 29 May 2019 22:17:31 -0500

Nibblin' on sponge cake. Watchin' the sun bake.

Episode 18

Wed, 10 Apr 2019 22:09:08 -0500

I will fight the HOA's of my own compound. I didn't agree to these terms. I would NEVER agree to these terms!

Episode 17

Thu, 28 Mar 2019 20:27:30 -0500

Thank you to our listeners that haven't made intergalactic deals with the demon-possessed in other dimensions.

Episode 16

Tue, 19 Mar 2019 22:27:51 -0500

This episode was brought to you by the team at Wakin' Up Bacon. We couldn't do it without you and some other people. And you couldn't do it without me.

Episode 15

Thu, 14 Feb 2019 21:53:49 -0500

We appreciate our sponsors and the truth.

Episode 14

Mon, 28 Jan 2019 20:13:05 -0500

This new year is full of promise and live taxidermy.

Episode 13

Wed, 05 Dec 2018 23:04:37 -0500

Folks, we can't say enough nice things about the fine people at Rent a Car at the Place You Bought Your Car at. We aren't going to say those nice things here because there isn't enough room. In fact, there isn't enough room to write one nice thing.

Episode 12

Mon, 05 Nov 2018 21:36:29 -0500

Beto grab your Tech Deck and take your supplements. And your bug out bag. And your tools made out of bones. Don't forget your bones made out of tools. You'll also need a water filter, an air filter, coffee filters. The other items go without saying and if you need me to say it-you're not ready.

Episode 11

Wed, 31 Oct 2018 20:24:45 -0500

Hickory, Dickery, Docket. Ted Cruz is in your pocket.

Episode 10

Wed, 26 Sep 2018 20:46:30 -0500

I like to eat.

Episode 9

Tue, 11 Sep 2018 21:50:05 -0500

We couldn't do it without the troops or our sponsors at tellingonpeopleforthingsthatmildlyannoyyou.edu.com.net

Episode 8

Thu, 16 Aug 2018 21:36:55 -0500

Brought to you by the team at Go Bags.

Episode 7

Tue, 07 Aug 2018 20:37:25 -0500

This episode was not recorded from the high desert and great American Southwest.

Episode 6

Tue, 31 Jul 2018 20:56:33 -0500

We couldn't do it without our sponsors. They know who they are.

Episode 5

Wed, 11 Jul 2018 21:56:43 -0500

Thank you to the team at BMOOT for your support.

Episode 4

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 20:43:31 -0500

Episode 3

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 20:06:39 -0500

The best butter salesman in the country.

Episode 2

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 19:38:45 -0500

The war for your mind rages on. The gay frogs have been called into battle.

Episode 1

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 18:58:08 -0500

One, two, three, four, I declare a mind war.