JSWonders

The Simplest Cause is Rarely the Primary Cause

Sun, 01 Oct 2023 21:04:48 -0700

A discussion of the human propensity to assume that the simplest and most easily controlled cause must be the primary cause of a negative effect. An example would be someone with depression believing that taking an SSRI will eliminate their depression rather than acknowledging that depression is a mental state caused by a complex number of factors.

The Raw Unconfigured Experiences of Childhood

Tue, 03 Oct 2023 17:08:00 -0700

A discussion of how the raw unconfigured experiences of childhood have been replaced with micromanaged, for pay, coached, "learning experiences" that result in teens and young adults feeling anxious, confused and unable to create and make their way in the world without a clear path defined for them.

Treating Your Children ”All the Same” is Not Good Parenting

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 11:06:43 -0700

A discussion of a common parenting mistake in which parents assert that they treat all their children equally when this ensures that children who work well with one style of parenting are given an advantage and children who need something different are functionally abandoned and then often blamed for their poor outcomes.

Introduction to Video/Podcast JSWonders

Thu, 05 Oct 2023 14:29:19 -0700

I introduce myself, the broad range of content and the basic rules of the podcast and what you might expect.

Parents who Systematically Psychologically Dismantle One of Their Children

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 09:45:00 -0700

A 3 part series (in one episode) talking through the type of parent who constantly sabotages, abuses and controls their child and then plays the long suffering parent who must heal or put up with a mentally ill child. I have been referring to it as the Emotional Version of Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy.

A Predictor of Failed Relationships & Solutions

Thu, 19 Oct 2023 14:39:15 -0700

A description of, including modeling of behavior, of the strongest predictor of a relationship that may be doomed to failure, including a discussion of trauma bonding and codependency. Most importantly, we talk about concrete practical solutions if you intend for your relationship to succeed.

Procrastination or Misalignment_Episode 10_JSWonders

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 09:28:10 -0700

A discussion of specific cases of long term procrastination that are mistaken for ADD, ADHD or self sabotage when in fact the person confuses their desire for the benefits of the behavior for a desire to engage in the behavior or when people want to satisfy an expectation but do not actually align with the work that results in the outcomes.

How to Find That Special Therapist_Ep 12

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 14:44:08 -0700

I talk through the various types of therapists, psychologists, modalities and the breadth of the field. I give you 2 or 3 simple tips on what to look for, what to expect and what questions to ask a therapist if you want to find that special therapist with whom you really click and can heal and move on from your challenges.

How in the Hell do I Find My True Purpose?_Ep 13_JSWonders

Sat, 04 Nov 2023 10:40:15 -0700

Following up on Episode 10, I do a deeper dive into how most people's goals and "purpose" are actually based on fear and avoidance that ultimately sabotages their ability to succeed. I finish by describing the only way to truly ground in your distinct unique purpose in a way that makes goal setting and vision building almost effortless.

Bullying Functions to Socially Anchor You

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 11:35:24 -0800

I talk through the Amos Tversky and Daniel Kahneman concept of "Anchoring", a deep bias created by building a context around human behavior in a way that influences their choices, then connecting it to bullying and how bullies use social anchoring to control their victim, to project negativity onto the victim and to ensure that the victim is the focus of negative attention rather than the bully.

Narcissism_It Takes One to Know One

Sun, 12 Nov 2023 07:04:39 -0800

I talk through the uncomfortable, often painful truth that an overt narcissist can only succeed in using his/her tools of manipulation and gaslighting when in the presence of someone with their own unconscious narcissistic wound, often someone with some level of covert narcissism. If this relationship has lasted long term, then both parties are in a state of narcissistic functioning. This does not, in any way, blame people who have no option for navigating out of a situation controlled by an abuser.

What is True Intelligence?

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 12:24:15 -0800

Talking through the true definition of intelligence, what is required to apply it in a way that converts to social change but most importantly, what the greatest threat posed by artificial intelligence in conjunction with human intelligence.

ADHD is Chronic Trauma and Anxiety

Thu, 16 Nov 2023 14:55:24 -0800

I talk through the misperception that ADHD is its own diagnosis. Why we prescribe amphetamine for it and what should be done instead.

Map Reading Vs Slogging Through the Swamp

Wed, 22 Nov 2023 13:14:34 -0800

I talk through a crucial oversight when doing your own spiritual or mental health work as well as an oversight that is common when supporting others involving the ability to read the map of how things work and where they might be going, versus really understanding that someone is in a swamp or climbing a mountain and respecting that the difficulty they face is not always served by someone who can see the map.

You Cannot Heal the World’s Suffering

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 15:58:04 -0800

I talk through a modern, maybe first world, experience in which well meaning people agonize over the plethora of misery and wrong in the world and their desire to contribute or help. The simple message is, you cannot do anything about most of it, but you can help a lot within your own life, and your own community. All of that only comes after you have deeply addressed your own suffering and struggles.

An Overview of Somatic Therapy

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 14:44:24 -0800

I give the background of somatic therapy, what it is, how to prepare for it and what can be done, including Eugene Gendlin's Focusing, Trauma Resiliency Model, EMDR and Attachment Focused EMDR

The Tension Between Real Life and Pure Science

Thu, 07 Dec 2023 11:27:57 -0800

I talk through what pure science has to do, eliminating confounding variables, in order to study a causal relationship and how that creates a disconnect with real life. I also talk about how the public at large can keep this in mind and help guide ourselves as we buy products that are "supported" by science.

Boundaries, Red Flags and Emotional Savings Accounts

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 13:36:24 -0800

Talking through a shift from an attempt to establish objective boundaries, to the much healthier subjective boundaries, how this reflects on whether or not something is a red flag. Finally, how to maintain a long term relationship while accepting that everyone on the face of the planet is annoying in the day to day, no matter how hard we try.

Kindness - Its Not Rocket Science

Thu, 21 Dec 2023 11:53:12 -0800

Exploring the phenomenon in American society of a rigid adherence to rules of behavior in an attempt to be punitive, superior and "right" rather than just being decent or kind. I talk through how dangerous this is and what we can do in response to this social state.

Expansive or Contractive? - Making Big Life Decisions

Sat, 30 Dec 2023 16:12:35 -0800

Talking through the anxiety and confusion accompanying big life decisions, why referring to others' opinions or to external measures of good decision making does not work when it's a big life decision. Finally offering a cheat code that bypasses all the headache and even the need to have developed a deep life purpose.

I Do Not Believe in Belief - Hear Me Out

Tue, 09 Jan 2024 09:57:47 -0800

I talk through my long relationship and evolution with belief and belief systems. Ultimately I try to explain what I think belief is and the healthiest way for belief to function. Just a hint - it's an excretion!

When People Show You Who They Are . . .

Thu, 18 Jan 2024 17:43:48 -0800

With a nod to Maya Angelou, when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. I talk through why people refuse to acknowledge the truth revealed by people's behavior and why they insist on arguing or negotiating only through verbal interactions. The reason for this is denial about an abusive parent, being overly intellectual and verbal and lastly, fear of being judgmental.

Defining Trauma - What it is, and what it isn't

Sun, 21 Jan 2024 01:26:22 -0800

Tracing the history of language and definitions around trauma and finally physiologically defining it in a way that accurately encompasses complex, violent, developmental and social trauma under a unified understanding.

Judgment is an Expression of Dysregulation& Delusion

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 14:04:30 -0800

I talk through how core human problems all tend to reduce down to a misunderstanding of self and reality that express in a few ways that are inextricable from one another - Judgment of self and others which is an expression and cause of dysregulation, separation from and refusal to accept the truth which is a denial of self and reality and requires judgement of self and reality. It sounds confusing but only because they are all expressions of the same state, separation from the truth of self and reality.

Consciousness is Love - the End of Judgement, Dysregulation and Delusion

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 09:47:55 -0800

A followup to the conversation in Episode 28, where I raised the concept of judgment, dysregulation and separation from truth as all part of one another and expressing and causing one another in a way that is inextricable. Is this episode I tackle that gordion knot in more depth and end with the suggestion that it appears that consciousness is the solution to the problem of fear (judgement, dysregulation and delusion) and that consciousness is inextricable from fear.

How Role-Based, Ritualized Behaviors Harm & Gaslight Others

Thu, 08 Feb 2024 12:06:54 -0800

I go into depth about how people employ or hide behind role based or ritualized behaviors in order to abandon their responsibility for being present and listening to their children, their spouses. their employees, friends, etc. I finish up by modeling how to be present when our own personalities and limitations mean that we will be unable to provide meaningful support to our loved ones or when we are unable to even understand what they are communicating to us.

Why Blaming Child Victims is so Common

Fri, 23 Feb 2024 11:03:26 -0800

I talk through the disturbing propensity for society, parents, teachers to assume that an emotionally disturbed or difficult child is the problem and that they simply need to be taught to take responsibility for their behaviors. I detail how this is an adult and society abandoning their own responsibility for what a child is experiencing and expecting them to know how to deal with it.

Forgiveness is Not About Morality

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 13:10:52 -0800

I talk through the complications that arise from confused or erroneous beliefs around forgiveness - 1. that it is requirement to be a moral person. 2. that forgiveness means letting someone off the hook or behaving in a way that society views as forgiving. 3. that being forgiving has any relationship to external outcomes. None of the above are true.

Why the Emotionally Immature Cannot Listen to Someone Else's Experiences

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 13:55:27 -0800

I peel back the layers to reveal how a core belief and mode of operation for the emotionally immature and narcissistic results in their inability to listen or empathize when someone shares an experience that may result in behaviors and policies that are not their own preferred outcomes. Most importantly, I describe how having a theory of mind and empathy are not just social niceties, but are crucial to the human race surviving its ability to destroy itself.

The Relationship Between PTSD and the Veil of Forgetfulness Created at Birth

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 13:09:51 -0700

Discussing the intersection of PTSD, how it burns through a person’s resources generating a flashback and how the veil of forgetfulness inherited at birth is actually generated moment to moment in order to maintain our reality as a unique individual.

What Do Bad Therapy and the Food Industry Have in Common?

Thu, 21 Mar 2024 15:49:58 -0700

A minor rant in which I describe a therapist acting as if being sexually active with a client, asking them for gifts and for testimonies on his/her webpage is low cost "normal" therapy while ethical therapy actually focused on good boundaries and the client's best interest costs 500 per hour and is "organic" therapy. You can make the leap from there to the food industry.

Building Self Confidence is Always Self-Negating

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 13:36:53 -0700

I talk through, why positive affirmations, building self esteem, and building self confidence rarely work. I offer instead, "subtractive eqing" with a nod to producer Ronan Chris Murphy and the cheat code of making sure you "know what you know, know what you are reasonably competent at and for god's sake know what you don't know!

What I Experience is Mine, Abuse or No.

Thu, 04 Apr 2024 16:56:40 -0700

I talk through a metaphysical or existential fact that many of us who have suffered trauma try to make untrue, that whether fair or not, what I experience becomes my life and experience, even if it is terribly unfair. We must accept our experience and seek wisdom, beauty and peace or we are consigned to depression, anxiety, PTSD, rage, addiction, separation from self, inability to love or feel love. There is only one sane choice.

Women are Not More Empathetic than Men - A Defense of Women as Normal Human Beings

Sat, 06 Apr 2024 18:58:53 -0700

In this near rant, I start with debunking the idea that women are more empathetic than men, but evolve into a passionate refutation of all primitive and lazy stereotypes about men, women or any group that allow us to abandon our responsibility to just be present and listen and learn to explore who an individual is, rather than referring to some box in our head that we've pre-constructed and filled with concepts and stereotypes from whatever group to which they may belong according to race, religion, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, gender, orientation, etc.

Emotional Expressiveness is Not Empathy - Followup to Episode 38

Thu, 11 Apr 2024 11:12:17 -0700

I was inspired to do episode 38 when a particular thought occurred to me - that people confuse emotional expression with empathy. Then in all the fun, I forgot to make the point in the episode so I do a little recap of how women are boxed into society serving stereotypes, the difference between sympathy and empathy before using the description of a personality disorder to demonstrate that you can be extremely emotionally expressive and act in a complete sociopathic and narcissistic manner.

How to Maximize Therapy - Goals, Intentions and Red Flags

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 14:11:44 -0700

I talk through some of the simple ways to approach therapy that save you time, pain and money. I finish by describing some reasons people come to therapy that complicate things or even make it almost impossible to evolve. *Hint, a lot of it involves coming because someone else thinks you should.

Trauma Bonds - Everything You Need to Know and More

Thu, 02 May 2024 14:41:38 -0700

I work my way down through trauma bond as shared experience, to trauma coping skill, down to the intricate, elegant manner in which people choose someone whose trauma coping skill perfectly fits and triggers their own trauma coping skill, which perfectly fits and triggers their partner's trauma coping skill and on and on. The good news is that we all use this either as a seduction to remain a victim and to remain unconscious or we use it as an invitation to a deep level of self awareness.

Demonizing Narcissists is Narcissistic

Fri, 17 May 2024 15:25:50 -0700

I attempt to finally fully explain how someone develops behaviors that justify labeling them as narcissistic personality disorder. I also explain why they deserve our understanding though they still require firm boundaries.

Find Your True Healer - Hint, it's not who you think it is

Thu, 04 Jul 2024 10:03:48 -0700

I talk through how to evaluate whether or not a therapy modality or even therapist is appropriate for you, what signs you should look for and lastly I discuss, most importantly, where your true healing resides and how to access it.

Joy & Peace, the Only True Guides to Wise Choices

Tue, 23 Jul 2024 13:26:15 -0700

I talk through the difference between intellectual, conceptual examination of possible options, and making a disciplined decision versus a deep knowing of what is right or not for you, based on whether or not it actively supports your joy and inner peace or is actively destructive to the same.

The Anatomy of Consciousness - prelude to freedom from suffering

Wed, 07 Aug 2024 14:59:15 -0700

I talk through the logical conclusion that language (meaning) requires, consciousness and free choice, thereby suggesting that consciousness is inextricable from choice and meaning. This lays the groundwork for a more complex conversation about how this plays into the ways in which we imprison ourselves and how to be free.

Why Victims of Severe Abuse Experience so much Gaslighting

Thu, 15 Aug 2024 17:07:54 -0700

I talk through the difficulty victims of severe abuse experience trying to put words to their experience, the challenges with memory and shaky narratives as well as society's desire to compress their experience into something saner or something closer to a reasonable childhood. I end by giving pointers on how to be honest, caring and genuine with someone who has experienced a very abusive childhood.

Separation from Conscious Awareness - the Only True Cause of Anxiety, Depression and Misery

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 12:02:10 -0700

I talk through the basic nature of conscious awareness and why the anatomy or structure of consciousness is such that any recreating of the past or future fearful worry separations us from true self and results in anxiety, depression and suffering.

Protect the Subtleties of your Energy & Flow

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 14:31:15 -0700

I talk through, why, even well intended support or advice can often harm someone if they do not understand their own basic nature, especially at a subtle or even subconscious level.

How Traumatized People are Deeply Right and Deeply Wrong about the World

Thu, 17 Oct 2024 13:38:27 -0700

I talked through the painful disconnect trauma survivors struggle to integrate between their perception of the "normal" functioning people who do not perceive the world reasonably safe and navigable and their perception that they as trauma survivors know that life is fragile and dangerous and that those same people whose functioning level they aspire to, are actually in denial. Finally I offer the only solution or real path available to folks recovering from serious trauma. They are right about the world, but not correct in how they allow that truth to inhabit their minds and bodies. I end with a beautiful solution.

Introverts & Extroverts Parts I and II

Fri, 18 Oct 2024 20:18:00 -0700

An exploration of the differences between introverts and extroverts based on actual biological differences in how their nervous systems' process data and how that translates into behavior, experiences and the differences we have a superficial understanding of. Caution! I'm fair, respectful and kind to both personality types.

The Healing Power of Consciousness Within Everyone

Sat, 19 Oct 2024 09:44:00 -0700

A brief exploration of my experiences with the unhoused and some powerful interactions that reset my perceptions to the sanctity of life and consciousness within all living beings.

The 3 Primary Relationship Dynamics

Sat, 19 Oct 2024 15:04:00 -0700

Talking through the 3 primary dynamics (outside of dysfunction) that exist between two humans and how to recognize them and manage them - Parenting/mentoring, Fellow Traveler, Release with Care

You Did Not Erase Your Progress_Ep 11

Sun, 20 Oct 2024 15:34:00 -0700

Talking through the moments in which clients or often people at large experience their life falling apart, or re-experience painful emotions and conclude that all their progress in therapy, personal development or betterment has been lost and they are back at "square one". This is not the case and I talk through the gains that cannot be erased.

The Emotionally Immature Lack a Theory of Mind, Their Own and Others

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 16:28:01 -0700

I use this podcast to differentiate the emotionally immature (lacking empathy, self interested, apparently manipulative) from a toxic narcissist who has a good understanding of others' and their motivations but uses it to harm, to serve his or her own interests or ever just to entertain him/herself. I finish by articulating 2 different types of narcissism within the emotionally immature, the overt and the covert, one who does not have a theory of their own mind and experience, let alone others, and the covert who obsesses over other people's experiences, in order to feel in control and to elicit care from those he/she cares for.

Layers - Those who Control us do so by Trapping us in Arguments Over Content Rather than Context

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 07:34:22 -0700

I talk through how many conflicts and many difficult experiences arise because we have been predisposed to evaluate outcomes or to engage debates at the surface level of content - something is right or wrong, it works or doesn't work - while those who control us are the ones who establish the content of the debate and thus it doesn't matter which side wins, the entire debate serves the narcissist or the large corporation or politicians.

Parallel Play Vs True Collaboration - The Psychological Structure of the Narcissistic System

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 12:02:35 -0800

As a follow up to episodes (15, 33 & 50) about narcissism as well as the emotional immature, I do a much more granular exploration of the internal psychological structure of those with a severe narcissistic wound. Importantly, this explains why these types of personality disorders can be quite successful in society and seem warm, wise and collaborative and yet often will suddenly attack or retreat into surprisingly defensive or petty behaviors, leaving those who experience them feeling wounded, confused and wondering what they did to earn that attack.

Using Children to Solve Adult Problems (And then Gaslighting them if they are Distressed)

Thu, 14 Nov 2024 13:34:19 -0800

Weaving in, the message from “The Simplest Cause is Rarely the Primary Cause”, I talk through the adult and social propensity to create problems for ourselves, then create institutions and professionals to solve those problems who will convince us that it really is in the best interest of our children. I attempt to create a more nuanced view, where there may be unsolvable problems, no judgment of parents, but that the real damage occurs when we use children to solve the problem and then gaslight and pathologize them when they experience distress as a result of a less than optimal solution.

The inestimable Value of Small Acts of Kindness

Wed, 27 Nov 2024 10:00:35 -0800

A followup to episode “Kindness, it’s not Rocket Science” I talk through the regression in American culture to pettiness, self interest and general childishness when it comes to conflict or making space for others. I end by sharing a small but significant act of kindness that I received this morning and how and why this is far more important to all of us than being smart, or famous or rich, etc.

The Anatomy of Consciousness, Part 1

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 12:24:27 -0800

Given the number of times I refer to consciousness in episodes, or use the concept of consciousness to shift clients’ attempts to build “self esteem”, I decided to actually break down the logic, the actual anatomy of consciousness, what inheres int it, of what it is constructed, how it functions. The overview is that consciousness is made of or is necessary for intention, choice, communication and meaning. Without conscious sentient beings, those things collapse, and have no logical presence.

The Purpose of Consciousness on Earth, Part 1

Sat, 07 Dec 2024 20:06:15 -0800

Through my own experiences watching my father’s struggles, mistakes and successes, I document how I worked so hard to avoid the same mistakes and yet created them only with a different flavor or style. These anecdotes are used to begin exploring how deep bias and judgment is, and how it is really an indication of a misjudgment of ourselves which imprisons us and suppresses the best that we are. This is part one.

The Purpose of Consciousness on Earth, Part 2

Sun, 08 Dec 2024 20:15:25 -0800

A followup, clarifying how the state of judgment (as noted through anecdotes about myself and my father), is actually a denial of the beauty, individuality and brilliance of self. Essentially laying the groundwork for the anatomy of judgment, how it traps us and how it also gives us an opportunity to learn and grow.

The Purpose of Consciousness on Earth, Part 3

Fri, 13 Dec 2024 15:10:30 -0800

In this 3rd installment, I get more granular about why I think people sometimes have a very stubborn life theme, that it may be more than just childhood trauma. I get specific about my theme, how stubbornly unconscious it has been or even how stubbornly I have stayed stuck even though I was often conscious of the outcomes. I detail how, without understanding the particular mechanisms and defined erroneous beliefs, we are unable to consciously choose differently, because we do not understand the mechanism by which we lie to ourselves. I close by suggesting that when we remove the blocking beliefs, we find that our true self is inherently love, joy, freedom, peace, creativity, and connection and that our purpose here on earth is to solve these puzzles and find our way back to our true nature, despite the heavy dense puzzles we have constructed for ourselves.

Suffering is Suffering - Stop Playing Political Games with Living Beings

Fri, 20 Dec 2024 13:52:31 -0800

I tease out a message to all the reasonable, scientific people who know that inflicting suffering on living beings is wrong, who know that not having the answer to a problem does not mean you pretend the problem does not exist and who know that we do have the intelligence, creativity, resources, and will to begin working on seriously mitigating or eliminating suffering experience by other living beings due to our own needs or even conveniences being met. This is an indictment of zoos, the industrial production of plant or animal food, circuses, animals as entertainment or any use of a living thing that does not involve a real understanding of how that living being lives and thrives.

Boundaries, a Deep Expression of Psychological, Emotional, Spiritual & Existential Truth

Fri, 03 Jan 2025 14:42:51 -0800

I talk through one of my favorite topics, boundaries. I explore the anatomy of how even assertive appearing boundaries can be based in fear, self-judgment and judgment of others. This results in defensive responses and further pain and confusion. When boundaries are based in a true perception of what reality is, who and what you are, and who and what other people are, judgment disappears, and we have the best chance of people changing how they interact with us.

The Palisades Wildfire_What Losing my Home Taught me About Love and Connection

Thu, 30 Jan 2025 13:23:32 -0800

I share a few stories from January 7, 2025 when our home as well as a whole city burned. I then connect these experiences to a deeper spiritual evolution that has revealed the true state of love and connection.

Palisades Wildfires II_How my struggles resulted in excavating an old stubborn belief about myself.

Thu, 20 Feb 2025 13:07:35 -0800

First, I spend about 20 minutes explaining how painful, how difficulty, how depressing it has been to lose my children’s home and all our belongings and try to navigate the world to build it back again. After this, I make the first important point, that humans are in their infancy of understanding other people’s experiences. We are full of platitudes and the belief that having some generalized understanding of what loss does to you, makes you empathetic. The point is that each person’s loss or struggle is intensely personal and configured by their race, childhood, politics, biology, personality, etc. Finally, and the far more important point I make is that struggle and loss functions to raise quiet erroneous beliefs about ourselves and reality so that we can recognize that it is a delusion, it is a denial of who and what we truly are. I finish be explaining who and what each of us truly is: conscious, loving, joyful, creative, powerful, beautiful, connected beings.

Shame - I Know to Whom it Belongs

Mon, 31 Mar 2025 18:31:31 -0700

First I spend some time defining shame and exploring it a little as a social force. Then I begin to speak directly to folks who have suffered through serious childhood or other abuse and discuss how shame is displaced onto the victim. I discuss how and why victims are free of it and how to see how it is projected from the abuser to the victim and how society participates in this gaslighting. Finally, I place the entire conversation in a kinder more spiritual context.

Obsession, the Most Important Thing About You

Thu, 19 Jun 2025 11:54:31 -0700

I talk through a previous episode noting that most people who feel locked up on goals or vision, are not aligned with their true nature, as opposed to being traumatized or self sabotaging. Then I explore the flip side, where people who have a very distinct set of skills, a personality and a particular obsession will accuse others of being lazy or unfocused because other people don’t enjoy the same obsession. This becomes especially arrogant when someone’s obsession results in lots of money. The goal is not to shame successful people but to reduce shame around people who simply are not aware of their true talents, or are unaware of the value of their own obsessions.

Things Your Therapist Wants to Say but Can’t - Blaming Parents

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 12:35:01 -0700

I talk through the different levels of trauma and why psychological or emotional trauma or neglect leaves the victim feeling guilty for “blaming” their parents and why understanding your parents’ childhood and trauma is usually just a distraction from your own work.

What a Fucking Ride - Consciousness Simplified.

Sat, 05 Jul 2025 09:38:27 -0700

A very short episode where I read through my thoughts on the simple purpose of consciousness and how that translates into all the complexity, beauty and madness of the human condition.

What is the Difference Between the US Government and a Domestic Violence Perpetrator?

Thu, 10 Jul 2025 15:23:49 -0700

I take 10 minutes to describe a relationship of domestic violence between an unhinged man who is paranoid, narcissistic, extremely controlling and violent toward his girlfriend. I intend to elicit the proper horror and moral rejection of such a relationship. I then go on to describe and document how the US government has forged exactly such a relationship with the US population.

Healing from Chaos, Hatred and War While it Continues Around Us

Sun, 21 Sep 2025 05:38:43 -0700

A mildly ranting journey through the overwhelming number of ways that modern life has intentionally or unintentionally separated you from natural human emotional/psychological/nutritional needs and then sold you the solution. This is followed by the assertion that configuring or managing your inner energy and state of being is the only path to finding or creating choices that free you of this onslaught against your freedom and autonomy.

The Unhoused are an Indictment of our Society

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 10:32:02 -0700

In a shorter episode I address the specific criticism of Los Angeles and other cities that have a serious homelessness challenge, pointing out that this is directly related to the pleasant year-round weather as well as the kindness and attempt to provide beds, mental health and food. I then go on to indict a specific type of critical person as well as all of our society for ignoring that we have created a type of society in which it is impossible for many to sustain themselves. I end by modeling alignment with truth that strengthens all who practice it.

Dump the Term Trauma Dumping

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 13:15:27 -0700

I share a deep conflict I experience from my own view of the need to manage how/when or if trauma is visited or shared, versus my frustration and anger with how perpetrators, sycophants and the disconnected population in general refuse to allow people the space to discuss or even share intense and difficult experiences.

How the Empathetic, the Intelligent & the Peaceful Negate Themselves

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 13:34:44 -0700

How the empathetic, the intelligent & the peaceful negate themselves In the presence of the morally obtuse, the willfully ignorant and the violent.

(and what to do instead)

The High Density Nervous System

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 11:14:38 -0700

I peel off from earlier episodes on introversion versus extroversion and do a deeper dive into the actual functional and biological reality of “introversion” that resulted in coining the term “high density nervous system”. I talk about the strengths and weaknesses of both types of nervous system, but focus more on correcting misperceptions around introversion.

Boundaries Come Before Empathy or Understanding

Fri, 21 Nov 2025 13:24:23 -0800

I talk through why the current social emphasis on empathy actually has confused and distracted my folks, especially young people, allowing them to actually leverage ideas of empathy or understanding to violate boundaries under the guise of asking for understanding, asking for closure, or just expressing hurt feelings in order to reengage with someone who set a boundary ending an interaction.

We Have Forgotten Our True Being (and the earth is dying of our forgetting)

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 13:25:32 -0800

We have forgotten our true being and the earth is dying of our forgetting

The Biggest Hurdle to Recovery from CPTSD

Sat, 17 Jan 2026 12:46:22 -0800

An episode giving a rough overview of survivors’ experiences when recovering from CPTSD and a deeper dive into one of the final and more difficult hurdles to healing that can result in people holding onto old ways of responding for years, sometimes decades.

To summarize, the 3 parts are:

realizing you have a full suite of highly intelligent, hard earned, talents and skills adapted for the abusive environment and that those skills are basically now a hinderance and have to be let go.
Further realizing that as an adult, even and elder adult, not only are you moving out into the world with no understanding of how to do many many things that are usually learned in childhood or teens, but your instincts are still going to try to pull you back to the old ways of relating and responding.
The shame of realizing that the time it took to recognize might have started as an understandable confusion over the fact that your abusive family weren’t the world, but that at some point, the inability to see might be a result of a lack of courage as much as not knowing the challenges in front of you.

Conversations with Donald J. Trump

Sat, 31 Jan 2026 12:05:02 -0800

Exactly what it says. No raging, no name calling, no moral posturing, just identifying, as much as possible, all human truths or interactions as they are.

"Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto"

“Nothing human is foreign to me"

Terence: Heauton Timoroumenos

Fear & Shame Based Parenting Sets up Your Children for Predators and Parasites

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 13:30:45 -0800

I outline why, fear, shame, irritation, anger, manipulation and lying or horrible ways to alter children’s behavior and how narcissistic parents use these toxic parenting tools and then point their fingers in judgment when their adult children have horrible boundaries with toxic people.

Current Chaos Reflects One Simple Truth

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 14:23:17 -0800

If you’re feeling agitated, concerned, worried, fragmented, surrealistic, confused, etc. due to the chaos, cruelty & ridiculousness in the world, I have an equation for you, a way to relate to all of it that breaks down your somatic experience to a simple equation. This simple equation allows you to begin to clock how accurate your body experience are in bringing your attention to lies, disconnection and disingenuous behavior. The end is a beautifully joyous freedom for all of us.

The Human Condition is Nobody’s Fault, but Everybody’s Responsibility

Sat, 14 Mar 2026 14:56:31 -0700

Some thoughts that came out of “Current Chaos . . . “ that refine how to assess your own or any individual’s style or dynamic by which they relate to others that may result in chaos, something predictable though narcissistic and rigid, something neurotic, or something truly beautiful. Full understanding of a healthy way of relating to self or other is reflected in the title.

Unhealth is Illusion at the Level of Conscious Awareness

Tue, 24 Mar 2026 13:13:37 -0700

Exploring a specific equation of consciousness - That which is unhealthy for your, is actually untrue and thus dissolves in the presence of consciousness; that which is healthy for you is true and expands in the presence of consciousness.

The End of a Disconnected Relationship is Surprising Only to the Disconnected

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 12:07:39 -0700

In another, “things your therapist wants to tell you but often cannot” episode, I do a recap of the true anatomy of a trauma bond before transitioning into a description of how and why people are shocked or surprised by their relationship ending. I place it in the context of a social message that we can be a victim of our long-term relationship ending when, in fact, it is usually the result of the fact that we have never actually explored the humanity of the other person in any depth at all. Unfortunately, this is the cultural norm.

Abundance is Upon Us

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 12:20:39 -0700

I talk through the 3 distinct paradigms around war/hunger that have evolved in my lifetime. 1. War, violence and conflict is just a normal part of the human condition 2. War and violence are unnecessary but because there are primitive and violent people we must develop our ability to be violent to deal with them (this requires that we demonize someone to justify our own violence). 3. The current realization that war, hunger and conflict over basic resources literally no longer needs to exist. We have the knowledge, the money, the scientific knowledge, the technology and the AI to end hunger and conflict over resources.

Those who believe in the first 2 seem powerful, but they literally rely on our participation and our belief for those 2 paradigms to create a reality. For the first time in human history, we can actually choose and create our way out of hunger and violence. We have everything we need.

Government Deals in Perception, Money & Violence

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 12:40:13 -0700

Using a curiosity about Private Equity Firms, I do a dive into levels of money and power that are multiple levels beyond our day-to-day experience. I connect that to the currents surfed by the federal, state and local governments. I finish by reminding people that governments and many of the most powerful businesses on the planet deal in money and perception. They produce nothing, they solve nothing, they contribute nothing. I finish by offering the solution of community and connection. Small communities connecting to and supporting local agriculture, ranching, farming, expertise, construction, & healthcare. Yes, if we do this effectively, there is a chance the government will turn violence on us, but the alternative is to suffer a parasitic relationship that sickens our children, guts our communities, lies to us and convinces us that we are helpless victims and finally slaves.

The primary point is that Government takes our money, leverages our products, our efforts, our expertise, uses it to create perceptions/narratives to justify their theft, and then leverages violence to maintain control. So in the end, the only thing government actually creates or contributes is violence.

Emotional Expressiveness is not Emotional Intelligence

Thu, 09 Apr 2026 12:13:22 -0700

I make the specious argument that men being generally faster, more explosive, & stronger makes them more intelligent about physical or biological being. Any level headed person knows this is a silly argument. Women experience and interact with biology often in more profound ways due to pregnancy, monthly cycles, being less aggressive, more attuned to long term use of biology. I then use this insight to let the air out of the argument that because women tend to be more emotionally expressive, they are more emotionally intelligent than men. This is a specious argument and is as silly as the male version. Being emotionally intense is often a sign of low emotional intelligence. Men have been convinced of their own status as being less emotionally intelligent than women and have abandoned their own insights, intelligence and equal standing in this arena. It is time we accept that humans are just human and put the gender competition/war to bed. Women are humans, men are humans and any and all are capable of emotional intelligence, kindness, cleverness, evil, sociopathy, pettiness, narcissism, etc.

The Battle for Identity is the Source of All Human Misery

Tue, 21 Apr 2026 13:26:44 -0700

Rational, level headed, intelligent people will often agonize over decisions over long periods of time. This is because they’re attempting to use the choice to alleviate them of unconscious anxiety and since situations cannot do this, no matter what choice they settle on, it begins to feel like the “wrong” choice. But even deeper than this, the anxiety actually results because this person has an unconscious erroneous belief about who and what they are. This belief is always profoundly negative, e.g. I’m useless, I’m a piece of shit, I’m unlovable, etc. People the world over are struggling to force society, money, situations, sex, marriage, competition, etc. to prove to them that they are not what their negative belief says they are. The problem is that since the belief is held in the inner world, whether they achieve what they want or not, they can never resolve this discomfort. Furthermore since they are lost to their own inner battle, their actions cannot be present to others’ needs, feelings, situations and circumstances. Thus the purpose consumed by their inner struggle is unable to care for others or make choices informed the the situation as it really is.

Argue Whether You are Grey and You Will Experience Greyness

Thu, 23 Apr 2026 11:10:56 -0700

A followup to Episode 85, “the source of all human misery . . .” where I further explore and explain how engaging a lie about your true nature forces you to experience the lie as if it were true. This delves into dealing with narcissistic accusations and the people who believe them, but ultimately returns to the only worth endeavor of life: To explore, experience and honor yourself as your true nature, a mysterious, luminous, infinite, powerful, creating, joyful, loving, connected being who cannot be damaged by your choices or experiences.

Erroneous Identity Beliefs Underpin All Human Conflict

Wed, 13 May 2026 10:52:49 -0700

Ok, so I just did this one. Seems weird to do it again, but I didn’t remember and completely ran another 40 minutes.

When we’re traumatized, it’s not the pain and fear of the historical event that creates PTSD, it’s the belief about our value or lack thereof as a conscious being that retains the fear of the event and turns it into chronic PTSD. I give some clear examples from my own life of how and why it functions that way.

The Secret Purpose to Life

Fri, 15 May 2026 09:25:38 -0700

It’s really not that complicated. It’s really not. Most, if not all, of the ethics-socially driven purpose was constructed by society because it needs and wants you to be something or function in some way that satisfies society and other individuals’ needs.

You have already served the most profound purpose, and you may or may not know it. What if the only thing you needed to do was make sure you were warm and had food in your belly and after that, you could just pursue joy, learning, fun, excitement, curiosity, being. What if? Well, that’s pretty much a solid choice available to you. Why not do it? I have a secret for you: the latter is your true purpose.

The Secret Behind Every Toxic Relationship (TYTWTTYBC)

Tue, 26 May 2026 12:46:28 -0700

Things your therapist wants to tell you but can’t. In this episode I outline how so much trauma and abuse is hidden and denied by society and how this results in the belief that someone can accidentally or by bad luck find themselves in a long term toxic relationship. I outline the various pathways to a healthy or toxic relationship.

Marketing Insists on Marriage & Children After the First Date

Thu, 28 May 2026 13:31:11 -0700

Ok, this is a rant with lots of language and irritation, but is important in the overall context of how business, marketing practices as well as the fed government have completely entitled themselves to access to your time, your attention, your money, your email inbox, your cell phone number with no shame at all. I compare it to human to human interactions which we would never accept and would rightly note as weird, stalker-ish, harassing and highly inappropriate.

The Pharmaceutical Industry uses Doctors and Psychiatrists to Prescribe Speed to Children

Sat, 06 Jun 2026 12:48:11 -0700

I am NOT a medical doctor, researcher, PhD, PsyD or Psychiatrist. I am not giving out medical advice.

I am expressing my opinion as an individual who isn’t captured by the pharmaceutical model, health insurance model, or mechanical model of human health. The prescription of amphetamine to anyone under 26 years of age is a primitive, disgusting practice that will shock subsequent generations and it has gone this far because the pharmaceutical industry makes billions of dollars off convincing people that there is such a thing as being “born with a chemical imbalance”. This perspective is a conscious lie on their part, and it is an infantile level of ignorance and foolishness on the part of those who are sincere agents of this perspective.

I am NOT a medical doctor, researcher, PhD, PsyD or Psychiatrist. I am not giving out medical advice.

Trauma Bonds - Understanding Beyond the Pain

Tue, 16 Jun 2026 13:05:58 -0700

The end all modeling of how elegant, exacting and seamless a true trauma bond is between two deeply connected people who feel bewildered by how they could deeply love and know another and yet find each other’s behavior seemingly cruel, disconnected and without care. I do not go into the ways to heal or move beyond but simply create an accurate model of a true trauma bond.

The Logical Path to Conscious Freedom

Thu, 18 Jun 2026 13:09:50 -0700

I do a very broad sweep across my life briefly describing various observations, realizations and experiences that led me to the conviction that consciousness is the underpinning of any significant reality, morality, experience or meaning.

There is an Avalanche of Consequences in Your Body

Tue, 07 Jul 2026 13:59:53 -0700

For those who have been gaslit, abused, scapegoated. You have been taught that no matter the situation, no matter how unjust, now matter how innocent, you are the recipient of the consequences of others’ behaviors, you are the recipient of the the consequences of your own responses to those behaviors. Thus you live with an avalanche of consequences in your body, creating depression, anxiety PTSD, low energy, low life force. When you begin listening to your body, not arguing, not explaining, not verbally “setting boundaries” but actually allowing your body to hand others the consequences of their actions, you suddenly experience a flood of energy, joy, curiosity, motivation and peace.

From Micromanagement to Micro-monitoring - how controlling abusive parents escape responsibility

Thu, 09 Jul 2026 13:41:02 -0700

I talk through how parents who micro-control and abuse, micromanage will then, over time simply micro-monitor in ways that often only the victim can perceive. Then the victim’s “exaggerated” responses to the monitoring are further evidence to support abusers who lied about their victim to the victim’s entire social system. In addition, society has no idea how much abuse and scapegoating there is so the abusive parent gets to further reinforce the perception that their victim was always off, too reactive, too sensitive. This episode is for the victims of gaslighting, control and propaganda designed to erase the abusers’ behaviors and responsibility. Full disclosure, lots of cussing in this one.

Millions Made by Addicting Your Child

Tue, 14 Jul 2026 13:59:50 -0700

On a micro level I talk through the addictions being shoved in your kids’s faces with sugar milk, sodium and dopamine hits. On a macro level, regardless of intent I point out that people making millions or billions off of mass producing addictive processes or products to your children are so detached from your reality that they just don’t care, they don’t now and are never going to care. I finish by offering the simple but challenging solution to abandon these systems. No screens, raise mostly your own food, cook your own food, or make a relationship with local farms/farmers so you know what you’re feeding your children. Abandon these systems. Do not negotiate with them, do not attempt to reduce harm. You will get sucked back in, every time.

DNA is a Coded Story Inside a Seed

Thu, 16 Jul 2026 09:36:36 -0700

This statement is a setup to discuss the creative process and how narcissists and those seeking to shore up their egos will leap into the most subtle, vulnerable part of a creative, idea, act, thought in order to condescend to instruct the creative on how to shape the expressing idea. The message is, you must protect your process at all times from these types of people and understand that you are not the creator, you are the energy field in which the idea decided to implant itself, with the understanding that you will protect, guide and allow the fullest expression of the story stored in that seed whether it be an idea, a song, a business, a machine, etc.

Some Parents DON’T Love a Child

Tue, 18 Aug 2026 10:56:18 -0700

In this episode, I deconstruct the myth that all parents love their children, they’re just emotionally disturbed or they’re just doing the best they can. I also deconstruct the myth that parents love all their children, they often don’t. Some parents have a child that they don’t love in any meaningful way. More importantly, I outline how society’s desire to believe that all parents really do love their children, harms and stunts some trauma survivors’ ability to recovery from developmental trauma at the hands of a parent who clearly doesn’t love them, though they may protest otherwise, if they are feeling judged. I emphasize that often, the simple truth, that we were not loved in any meaningful way, is the last key to letting go of childhood trauma and moving on.

One Event Exploded My Entire Medical History

Sat, 22 Aug 2026 14:22:05 -0700

*Caution! lots of cursing in this one*

This is a big one. I had a recent experience that entirely exploded my last vestiges of trust in the medical field overall. It comes down to a whole industry of idealistic, well meaning, very intelligent people who are almost entirely constrained by training, time, big Pharma, and the insurance industry such that they do not have the will, information or time to actually help you with you help. It’s a long one but stay with me. It’s worth it.

The Psychological Anatomy of a Controlling Person

Thu, 10 Sep 2026 21:03:43 -0700

In this, 100th episode, we celebrate the mile marker, then tack on an exploration of the inner anatomy of the extremely controlling personality as well as what created such a state. We finish by advising the controlling person themselves, as well as those who must interact with them, how to address the actual emotional core rather than the resulting behaviors.