This is a conversation about life transitions, foster adoption, and navigating major life changes when the system isn't designed for families like yours. It's about the both/and of building a family on uncertainty — the anxiety of desperately wanting to be fathers while knowing it could all be taken away. For anyone holding joy and grief, hope and fear, love and loss — all at the same time.

Lane is the author of A Family, Maybe, a memoir about his family's three-year battle through the Los Angeles County foster care system. He's a professor of English at Los Angeles City College and has shared this story on NBC, NPR, and dozens of podcasts because it's a story that rarely gets told: what makes a parent? Is it biology, or is it care and commitment?

In this episode:

-What it's like to live in the "maybe" for three years while raising babies you might lose

- The both/and of foster adoption: attach fully AND be ready to let go

- How Lane and Jonathan were treated as "non-related caretakers" despite being the only parents their daughters knew

- Why the foster care system prioritizes birth parents' rights over children's wellbeing

- What happened when the judge at their adoption hearing didn't even know their children's names

- The spiritual takeaway that sustained them: love your partner more when everything feels impossible

- Why Lane reads tarot cards (only for himself) and what they told him during the process

- The question his book explores: What really makes a parent?

No toxic positivity. No fix-it mentalities. Just real language for the feelings you couldn't name, and permission to hold all of it at once.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Lane on Instagram, buy his book, or visit his website 

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

Marissa Franks Burt is the author of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting and a mother of six with a master's in theology. She spent years researching the evangelical parenting movement — the books, the influencers, the spiritual authority that told parents: Just follow this blueprint, and your kids will follow God.

Spoiler: That's not biblical. And the fallout is a major life change affecting entire generations.

In this conversation, we're talking about the messy middle of faith and harm. About transition anxiety in families deconstructing what they were taught. About parents who intended well but were misled by prosperity gospel promises. About adult children carrying wounds from coercion disguised as discipline. And about what repair looks like when the damage runs deep.

We explore how authority silenced intuition, how obedience training stunted emotional regulation, and how entire families are now grieving relationships built on formulas instead of connection. Marissa doesn't offer another prescriptive parenting method — she offers permission to question, to grieve, and to rebuild with truth and compassion.

In this episode:

- Why evangelical parenting advice became a prosperity gospel for families navigating life transitions

- The spiritual authority that kept parents from trusting their instincts during major life changes

- How instant obedience training grooms children for future abuse

- What it looks like to hold both good intentions and real harm in the messy middle

- The pathway to repair when adult children experience their own faith transition

- Permission to parent without a formula — and still hold your faith through the anxiety

This isn't about villainizing parents. It's about naming what happened so healing can begin. Because you can love God, question the system, and choose connection over compliance — all at the same time.

Listen to the episode with Brian Recker HERE

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Marissa on Instagram, get connected, or visit her website 

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

Olaolu Ogunyemi is a leadership speaker, author, and U.S. Marine Officer who became a dad at 19. He thought leadership meant being the hammer. Then he yelled at his three-year-old daughter and watched her break. That moment changed everything — and put him face-to-face with the gap between who he'd been taught to be and who he actually wanted to become.

This is a conversation about navigating major life changes in how you think about masculinity, emotions, and what it means to lead. About the messy middle between military toughness and emotional presence. For anyone trying to break cycles they didn't even know they were in — whether you're a parent, a leader, or just someone realizing the person you've created isn't who you actually are.

Olaolu shares the moment he knew he had to change, how The Lion King vs. Frozen explains generational shifts in leadership, why vulnerability isn't weakness (it's protecting the injured offensive lineman), and the mood meter tool he uses with his kids to name 50 emotions when he was only taught to name four.

In this episode:

-Why yelling at his daughter broke Olaolu's idea of masculinity

- The Marine Corps mentor who said empathy isn't weakness

- How to stop overthinking your emotions and start naming them

- The both/and of leading and following, controlling and letting go

- Why being uncomfortable isn't the problem — avoiding it is

- How to set boundaries between who you were raised to be and who you want to become

- What "Lead Last" actually means (it starts with leading yourself)

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Olaolu on Instagram & visit his website or his LinkedIn

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

This is a conversation about navigating major life changes in partnership when one person is the co-founder and the other is a passenger. About the transition anxiety that comes when you realize your relationship isn't equal — and the messy middle of trying to fix invisible labor you can't even see yet. For anyone holding resentment, overthinking every ask, or wondering if setting boundaries around mental load makes you selfish.

Zach is the Mental Load Coach. His blueberry muffin video went viral with 20 million views. Now he helps men stop adding mental load and start showing up. He shares how to tell if you're reacting from emotions or responding to the situation, the BUILD meeting framework for navigating life transitions in your partnership, why "how can I help" actually creates more work, and the emotion wheel that stops defensive spirals before they start.

In this episode:

- Why mental load creates crushing loneliness (not just overwhelm)

- How anxiety multiplies when your partner becomes a passenger

- The BUILD meeting framework (and why it's not boring)

- Why setting boundaries around invisible labor isn't selfish — it's survival

- How men can stop starting over every week and actually own routines

- The emotion wheel for communicating without defensiveness

- Why society devalues $247,000 of annual labor — and refuses to pay it

- The Brené Brown shame rap (yes, really)

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Zach on Instagram & join his free mental load basics community here

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Dr. Bethany Bildeau (Dr. B) went from hiding in school bathrooms with panic attacks to becoming the sensory and behavioral specialist who helps the kids everyone else has given up on. She knows what it's like to be labeled "the problem." Now she works with students with trauma histories and teaches parents and educators how to support high-energy kids without breaking their spirit.

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of parenting when you're overthinking every decision and wondering if you're doing more harm than good. About the transition anxiety when your kid doesn't fit the mold and you're trying to figure out who you are as a parent. For anyone trying to validate big energy without losing your mind, set boundaries that protect everyone, and stop carrying the shame of "difficult."

Dr. B shares the 30-second stair trick that helps kids focus and regulate, why "suffering is a badge of honor" is killing our kids, the frozen water bottle hack for dysregulation, and how to tell if you're parenting from anxiety or responding to what's actually happening.

In this episode:

- How to support high-energy kids without breaking their spirit

- The 30-second stair trick (it oxygenates the prefrontal cortex)

- Frozen water bottle trick for immediate regulation

- Why parental anxiety shows up as behavioral responses in kids

- Boundaries for parents: validating energy without losing your mind

- How to make kids feel seen when behavior management fails

- Emotional regulation strategies that work for any age

- Starting over after being "the difficult kid"

Whether you're a parent trying not to break your kid's spirit, an educator dealing with the student nobody else will work with, or just someone navigating major life changes in how you understand behavior, this conversation is for you.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Dr. B on Instagram & visit her website

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

The anxiety of rebuilding your identity after years of making yourself smaller is real. And the overthinking that follows — Am I doing this right? Was it my fault? Who am I without this? — can be relentless. This conversation is for anyone navigating the messy middle of major life changes after losing themselves completely.

Heather Sweeney is a military spouse and author whose work has appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, and Reader's Digest. She shares her story of transition anxiety through a 13-year marriage that ended, seven-month in-house separation, and rediscovering her writing career under her maiden name. From holding grief and relief at the same time to rebuilding self-trust after years of selflessness, this is a raw conversation about boundaries, voice, and learning you can initiate a divorce AND still grieve what you lost.

Heather shares the both/and of military divorce ("my condolences and congratulations"), how to rebuild voice after making yourself invisible, why boundaries erode when you're always saying yes to someone else's needs, and the cycle that kept them stuck: no time to talk before deployment, during deployment, or after.

In this episode:

- The both/and of military divorce: grief and gratitude simultaneously

- How to rebuild self-trust and voice after years of selflessness

- Why boundaries erode when you're always saying yes to someone else's needs

- The deployment cycle that prevented real conversations

- Navigating major life changes when holding grief and gratitude at once

- Why anxiety and overthinking intensify during identity loss

- Practical tools for starting over and rebuilding during life transitions

- How military life can extend a bad marriage (the cycle of "we'll talk when...")

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Heather Sweeney on Instagram, visit her website, follow her on Substack, & order her book

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Joanna Hardis is a therapist and author who went from white-knuckling through life to learning how to be "neck down" — staying in her body instead of spiraling in her thoughts. She navigated the messy middle of major life changes through divorce, single parenting three kids, and being ghosted right before her birthday (yes, really) by practicing the paradox at the heart of her book Just Do Nothing: you can be safe and uncomfortable at the same time.

This is a conversation about life transitions when your default is to armor up or white-knuckle through. For anyone overthinking their way through parenting, anxiety, or major life changes — wondering if taking care of yourself makes you selfish.

Joanna shares emotional regulation tools for when anxiety hijacks you, practical distress tolerance practices (starting with your phone), and honest language for parenting without being controlled by fear or guilt. You'll hear why most of us armor up through people-pleasing, perfectionism, or overthinking — and how microdosing discomfort helps you respond to situations instead of reacting from emotions.

In this episode:

- Overthinking vs. neck-down awareness (and why therapy helped Joanna get out of her head)

- How to tell if you're parenting from anxiety or responding to the actual situation

- Distress tolerance 101: what it is and why it matters for emotional regulation

- The phone as a five-pound weight: microdosing discomfort in real life

- Boundaries for parents (and why asking for two minutes isn't selfish)

- How to hold the paradox: safe and uncomfortable, grief and gratitude, love and anger

- Why acknowledging feelings is essential — but fixating on them keeps you stuck

- Self-compassion when you screw it up (because we all do)

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Joanna Hardis on Instagram, visit her website, & buy her book Just Do Nothing or Just Do Nothing For Parents

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Ten years ago, I wrote in a question about love, boundaries, and faith to a podcast called Ask Science Mike... and Rob Bell answered it. I didn't know it then, but his response helped move me from people-pleasing to self-respect, from either/or thinking to both/and thinking — and it became one of the turning points that changed the direction of my life.

This is a solo episode about navigating the messy middle of major life changes when you're paralyzed by overthinking. About the transition anxiety that comes when you're trying to be "loving" and have boundaries at the same time. For anyone who's ever felt torn between taking care of yourself and being what others need.

I'm sharing the full context of what was happening behind the scenes at the time, reading the transcript of my original question and parts of Rob's response, and reflecting on the ripple effects that followed — on my relationships, my faith transition, my healing, and the full-circle moment of having Rob Bell on It's Both.

In this episode:

- How overthinking kept me people-pleasing — and the question that broke the cycle

- Why anxiety spikes when you're trying to be "loving" and have boundaries at the same time

- The both/and shift that moved me from either/or thinking to trusting myself

- What happens when you finally ask the question you've been afraid to ask

- How this moment connects to every transition, identity shift, and messy middle I've navigated since

- The full transcript of my question and Rob Bell's response (oxygen masks, non-dual tension, and why real love has boundaries)

If you're overthinking your way through a life transition, you've ever felt torn between being "loving" and having boundaries... or wondered if taking care of yourself makes you selfish... this one is for you.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Nashville minister David Moses Perez moved from either/or religion to spacious both/and spirituality. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of faith transition — that gap between who you were when you believed one way and who you're becoming as you believe differently. About the transition anxiety that comes when letting go feels like betrayal and holding on feels like lying.

For anyone navigating major life changes in belief, questioning inherited faith, or learning to live without all the answers. David shares practical tools for rebuilding from the inside out — no shame, no hot takes — just grounded practices for emotional regulation during doubt.

In this episode:

- How to make sense of a faith transition without burning your life down

- Why anxiety spikes when certainty collapses

- Overthinking every theological question (and how to stop)

- Love-first theology in everyday relationships

- Simple practices for self-compassion and emotional regulation during doubt

- How to find (or form) safe community while your beliefs evolve

- Boundaries with people who don't understand your shift

- Starting over without knowing what you're building toward

If this helped, follow the show for weekly episodes and share it with a friend who’s in the messy middle.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected with David Moses Perez on his website, his church Spero Dei, & listen to his podcast Iconoclast

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes in belief — what happens when the theology you built your life on collapses and you have to rebuild from scratch. About the anxiety after deconstruction, the overthinking every question, and the grief of losing certainty. For anyone questioning inherited beliefs and wondering what comes next.

Brian shares how faith transition rewires your nervous system, why fear-based systems create chronic anxiety, and what it means to rebuild self-trust after systems break down. You'll hear why overthinking keeps you stuck in theological rumination, how to stop second-guessing what you used to believe, and why starting over means letting go of false certainty.

In this episode:

- Starting over without shame or decision fatigue

- Why anxiety spikes when fear-based systems collapse

- How overthinking shows up during deconstruction

- Letting go of fear-based faith without rushing into false certainty

- How grief and imagination interact during belief changes

- Rebuilding self-trust after systems break down

- Navigating major life changes with honesty and compassion

- Boundaries with people who don't understand your shift

- Emotional regulation during identity shift

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Brian Recker on Instagram, visit his website, & buy his book Hell Bent

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes after religious trauma. About the transition anxiety that comes when you're trying to rewrite the messages your body absorbed before you could even name them. For anyone deconstructing purity culture and realizing the grief isn't just about what you were taught — it's about who you became to survive it.

Linda shares how purity culture creates anxiety around sexuality, relationships, and your own body. You'll hear why overthinking every physical sensation kept her trapped, how to set boundaries around religious family expectations, and what it means to rebuild self-trust when shame was wired in as protection. This is about starting over in your relationship with your body, your faith, and yourself.

In this episode:

- How purity culture creates body shame and sexual anxiety

- Why religious trauma shows up as overthinking and hypervigilance

- Grief for the version of yourself that believed the lies

- Setting boundaries with families who still reinforce purity messaging

- Starting over in relationships after deconstruction

- Navigating major life changes in belief AND body image

- Faith transition and healing from sexual shame

- Emotional regulation after religious trauma

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Linda Kay Klein on Instagram & visit her website

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

In Part 2 of my conversation with Rob Bell, we talk about the difference between overthinking as avoidance and trusting your inner knowing. About navigating the messy middle of major life changes when your gut is telling you one thing and your fear is screaming another. For anyone stuck in analysis paralysis, terrified that trusting yourself means you'll get it wrong.

Rob shares why anxiety spikes when we disconnect from our bodies, how religious conditioning trains us to distrust our own knowing, and what it means to move from "What should I do?" to "What do I already know?" You'll hear about the grief of realizing you've been betraying yourself to stay safe, and why starting over means listening to the whisper you've been ignoring.

In this episode:

- Why overthinking is often a way to avoid what you already know

- How anxiety disconnects you from your body's wisdom

- The grief of realizing you've been ignoring yourself

- Boundaries as a practice of honoring your inner knowing

- Starting over by trusting yourself first

- Faith transition and reclaiming your own authority

- Navigating major life changes when fear and intuition conflict

- Emotional regulation through body awareness

This episode builds on Part 1 ("The Certainty Trap & Overthinking"). Listen to Part 1 HERE first for deeper context.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Rob Bell on Instagram & visit his website

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

In Part 1 of my conversation with Rob Bell, we talk about the certainty trap — that place where overthinking becomes a way to avoid living. About navigating the messy middle of major life changes when you're waiting to feel sure before you move. For anyone paralyzed by "What if I'm wrong?" and terrified to make a choice without a guarantee.

Rob shares why religious systems train us to crave certainty, how faith transition breaks that addiction, and what it means to move forward without knowing if you're right. You'll hear why anxiety multiplies when we demand answers the universe isn't giving, how to hold grief for the version of yourself that needed to know, and why starting over means learning to live in the question.

In this episode:

- Why overthinking is often a search for certainty that doesn't exist

- How anxiety spikes when we refuse to move without guarantees

- The grief of letting go of black-and-white thinking

- Faith transition and the loss of religious certainty

- Navigating major life changes without knowing if you're doing it right

- Learning to trust yourself in the unknown

- Boundaries around who gets to define your faith

- Emotional regulation when you can't have all the answers

This is Part 1. In Part 2, we get more practical about self-trust, embodiment, and choosing without certainty.

Follow the show so you don’t miss Part 2—and share this with a friend who’s in the messy middle.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Follow Rob Bell on Instagram & visit his website

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

This is a solo episode about the grief and gratitude of major life changes — that feeling when you survived but you're not the same person who started. About holding the hard and the hopeful at the end of a year that changed you. For anyone feeling the weight of everything they lost AND everything they learned.

I'm sharing what it means to close out a year navigating the messy middle of transitions you didn't choose. You'll hear why anxiety about the future intensifies at year's end, how to honor grief without letting it define you, and what it means to be grateful for growth that came at a cost. This is about starting over without erasing who you were.

In this episode:

- The grief of not being who you thought you'd be by now

- Anxiety about the future when this year broke you open

- Holding gratitude AND loss at the same time

- Navigating major life changes that weren't in the plan

- Starting over while honoring what you've survived

- Year-end reflection without toxic positivity

- Mixed emotions and the both/and of growth

- Emotional regulation when everything feels heavy

If this resonated, follow the show, rate & review on Apple Podcasts, and share it with someone who’s holding a lot right now.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Follow the show on Instagram

Janice Holland - The Trauma Teacher - knows what it's like when your body won't let you rest even when you're exhausted. This is a conversation about trauma, overthinking, and why your nervous system is stuck in survival mode. About navigating the messy middle of healing when your body keeps score. For anyone who can't turn off, can't sit still, and wonders why self-care advice never works.

Janice shares why trauma shows up as overthinking (your brain trying to predict danger), how anxiety lives in your body long after the threat is gone, and what emotional regulation actually means when your nervous system won't cooperate. You'll hear about the fawn response, holiday boundaries, and why rest feels unsafe when your body thinks it needs to stay alert.

In this episode:

- Why trauma creates overthinking as a survival strategy

- How anxiety lives in your nervous system, not just your thoughts

- Emotional regulation when your body is stuck in fight-or-flight

- The fawn response and people-pleasing as trauma adaptation

- Grief for the version of yourself before trauma

- Navigating major life changes in how you relate to your body

- Why rest feels unsafe (and what to do instead)

- Boundaries during holidays when your nervous system is activated

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Follow Janice Holland, The Trauma Teacher, on Instagram & YouTube

- Get connected with Janice Janice Holland, The Trauma Teacher

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of divorce — that gap between who you were as a partner and who you're becoming alone. About the transition anxiety that comes when ending something feels like failure AND freedom. For anyone starting over after a relationship and wondering if it's okay to feel both sad and relieved.

Oona shares why divorce grief is complicated (you're mourning what you lost AND what you never had), how to set boundaries when your ex is still in your life, and what it means to rebuild identity when half of it was built around someone else. You'll hear why overthinking every decision kept her stuck, how to hold mixed emotions without choosing sides, and why major life changes after divorce aren't just about logistics — they're about becoming someone you don't recognize yet.

In this episode:

- Why you can grieve the marriage AND be relieved it's over

- The anxiety and overthinking of starting over after divorce

- How to set boundaries with an ex

- Grief for who you were as a couple

- Navigating major life changes in identity after divorce

- Holding mixed emotions without toxic positivity

- Emotional regulation when everything feels contradictory

- Transition anxiety in the gap between married and single

If you’re considering separation, in the messy middle, or rebuilding on the other side, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to do this without support.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Follow Oona Metz on Instagram

- Get connected with Oona Metz (with links to order her upcoming book)

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

Matt Bennett's story taught him what heart rate variability reveals about chronic stress. This is a conversation about the connection between stress, anxiety, and what your body is trying to tell you. About navigating the messy middle of chronic stress when you've normalized feeling terrible. For anyone who's "fine" on the outside but their body is falling apart.

Matt shares why overthinking keeps you in your head instead of your body, how heart rate variability shows where your nervous system is stuck, and what emotional regulation looks like when you start listening to your body's signals. You'll hear why pushing through makes it worse, how to recognize when stress has become chronic, and what major life changes in health look like when you finally pay attention.

In this episode:

- What heart rate variability reveals about chronic stress

- Why overthinking disconnects you from your body's signals

- Anxiety as a nervous system issue, not just a thought problem

- Emotional regulation through body awareness

- Navigating major life changes in how you define health

- Why "pushing through" makes it worse

- Recognizing when stress becomes dangerous

- Boundaries around rest and recovery

If this resonated, follow the show for weekly conversations on navigating transitions, anxiety, overthinking, and personal growth—and share it with someone who's been running on fumes.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected with Matt Bennett

- Learn more about Heart Rate Variability (HRV)

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Darius shares why anxiety multiplies when you're constantly calculating how you're being perceived, how overthinking every word and gesture becomes survival, and what it means to set boundaries around who gets your full self. You'll hear about the grief of realizing how much energy you've spent performing, and why starting over in sometimes means risking being seen as "difficult."

In this episode:

- The anxiety and overthinking of code-switching in different spaces

- Why performing "safe" creates chronic stress

- Grief for the energy spent making others comfortable

 Setting boundaries around code-switching

- Starting over by showing up as yourself

- Navigating major life changes in identity and belonging

- Emotional regulation when you're constantly on guard

Come for the story; leave with grounded language for uncertainty, duality, and showing up with integrity in complex spaces.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

This is a conversation about overthinking, anxiety, and what improv teaches you about letting go of perfect. About navigating the messy middle of not knowing what comes next and trusting yourself anyway. For anyone paralyzed by "What if I say the wrong thing?" and terrified to move without a script.

Emma shares why improv is the opposite of overthinking (you can't plan, you just respond), how anxiety dissolves when you embrace "yes, and," and what it means to trust your instincts instead of second-guessing them. You'll hear why the fear of being wrong keeps you stuck, how to practice spontaneity when your default is control, and why major life changes require the same skill as improv — showing up without knowing the ending.

In this episode:

- How improv dissolves overthinking by removing "wrong answers"

- Why anxiety spikes when you try to control outcomes

- "Yes, and" as a practice for life transitions

- Navigating major life changes without a script

- Trusting yourself when you don't know what comes next

- Why perfectionism keeps you frozen

- Emotional regulation through spontaneity

- Starting over when you can't plan everything

If you’re in a life transition and craving more ease, this one will help you hold both preparation and permission to be messy.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected with Emma

- Learn more about Unscripted or follow them on Instagram

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Liv Paige helps activists find their focus without the burnout. This is a conversation about activism, overwhelm, and what it means to choose your focus when the world is on fire. About navigating the messy middle of caring deeply while protecting your capacity. For anyone paralyzed by anxiety about all the causes they "should" support and overthinkingwhether their efforts matter.

Liv shares why trying to care about everything leads to burnout, how to set boundaries around your activism without guilt, and what it means to choose depth over breadth. You'll hear why performative activism creates anxiety, how to sustain major life changes in how you show up, and why choosing focus doesn't mean you don't care.

In this episode:

- Why caring about everything creates paralysis

- Anxiety and overthinking in activism

- Setting boundaries on causes without guilt

- Sustainable activism vs. burnout culture

- Navigating major life changes in how you show up

- Choosing depth over performative breadth

- Emotional regulation when the world feels heavy

- Grief for what you can't fix

If you've been feeling both hope and fatigue, this conversation helps you choose your focus—and take the next doable step without overthinking.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Follow Liv on Instagram or visit her salon website

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

Resources 

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- GoVoteTN, Call or visit 211 if you are ever unsure where to turn for support

- TN Justice For Our Neighbors, TN Justice Center, TN Immigrant & Refugee Rights Coalition 

- Oasis Center Nashville, Nashville Launchpad, Trans Aid Nashville

- Tennessee Equality Project, Music City Migra Watch

- Second Harvest Food Bank, Nashville Food Project, Open Table Nashville

- Oasis WIC/SNAP Emergency Needs, Open Table Winter Supply Needs

This episode is about anxiety in uncertainty — that feeling when you don't know what's next and your brain won't stop trying to figure it out. About navigating the messy middle of major life changes when the only answer is "I don't know yet." For anyone who spirals in the unknown and needs permission to just... be there.

I'm sharing what it means to sit with uncertainty without making it mean you're doing it wrong. You'll hear why overthinking is a way to avoid the discomfort of not knowing, how anxiety spikes when we demand answers too soon, and what it means to trust the process when you can't see the outcome. This is about life transitions without timelines, and learning to be okay with "not yet."

In this episode:

- Why overthinking is often avoidance of uncertainty

- How anxiety multiplies when we demand premature answers

- Sitting with "I don't know" without spiraling

- Navigating major life changes without timelines

- Messy middle as a place to live, not escape

- Trusting the process when you can't see the path

- Emotional regulation in the unknown

- Grief for the certainty you thought you'd have

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Mandy Grass is a behavior analyst who helps parents understand what's happening beneath the meltdown. This is a conversation about boundaries, anxiety, and what happens when your child's big feelings activate your own unresolved stuff. About navigating the messy middle of parenting when you're trying to regulate them AND yourself. For anyone who loses it with their kids and wonders why emotional regulation is so hard.

Mandy shares why your kid's meltdown might be triggering your own childhood wounds, how to set boundaries that feel respectful (not punitive), and what it means to stay regulated when chaos erupts. You'll hear practical tools from a behavior analyst's perspective, why punishment doesn't work, and how major life changes in your parenting approach start with understanding your own triggers.

In this episode:

- Why your kid's meltdown triggers your anxiety

- Boundaries that work without punishment or shame

- Emotional regulation for parents (not just kids)

- How your own childhood wounds show up in parenting

- Navigating major life changes in parenting approach

- Staying present when you want to escape

- Practical behavior analysis tools for real life

- Grief for the parenting you thought you'd do

If you're juggling big feelings, tiny humans, and zero bandwidth—this one gives you realistic language you can use today without anxiety or perfectionism.

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected with Mandy Grass, The Family Behaviorist

- Follow Mandy on Instagram

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about boundaries, trauma, and the both/and of mixed emotions. About navigating the messy middle of relationships when you love someone AND you're furious with them. For anyone told they need to "let it go" when what they actually need is permission to feel both.

Reggie shares why trauma complicates boundaries (you were taught your feelings don't matter), how to hold grief and anger toward the same person, and what it means to love someone without erasing the harm they caused. You'll hear why anxiety spikes when you're expected to choose forgiveness over honesty, and why starting over in relationships means setting boundaries that honor ALL of your feelings.

In this episode:

- How to hold love and anger toward the same person

- Why trauma makes boundaries feel impossible

- Grief for who you needed them to be

- Anxiety when forgiveness is demanded, not chosen

- Starting over in relationships with clear boundaries

- Mixed emotions without toxic positivity

- Navigating major life changes in family dynamics

- Emotional regulation when you're holding contradictions

If you're in the messy middle, this conversation offers grounded tools for personal growth—and permission to feel everything without anxiety about "doing it right."

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected with Reggie D. Ford

- Follow Reggie on Instagram

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Liz Perez explains ketamine therapy — what it is, how it works, and whether it's right for you. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of treatment-resistant mental health when traditional therapy and medication haven't touched the anxiety. For anyone exhausted by "have you tried meditation?" and wondering if there are other options.

Liz shares what ketamine therapy actually does (it's not what you think), who it helps, what the research says, and what safety considerations matter. You'll hear about major life changes in mental health treatment, why some people need alternatives to traditional approaches, and how to evaluate whether ketamine therapy makes sense for you.

In this episode:

- What ketamine therapy actually is (and isn't)

- Who it helps with treatment-resistant anxiety and depression

- How it works differently than traditional medication

- Navigating major life changes in mental health treatment

- What to consider before trying ketamine therapy

- Research and safety considerations

- Grief for treatments that didn't work

- Emotional regulation when you're still searching for relief

Educational only—not medical advice. Always consult a qualified medical/mental-health professional.

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected with Liz Perez, LMFT

- Learn more about Journey Clinical

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about medical dismissal, chronic illness, and navigating the messy middle of major life changeswhen your body breaks and the system fails you. About the anxiety of being gaslit by medical professionals and the griefof losing the life you had before illness. For anyone told their pain is "just stress" or "all in your head."

Grace shares what medical trauma does to trust, how to advocate for yourself when doctors dismiss you, and what it means to rebuild life around chronic illness. You'll hear why anxiety around medical appointments is rational (not catastrophizing), how to set boundaries with providers who won't listen, and why starting over after diagnosis means grieving the future you'd planned.

In this episode:

- Medical gaslighting and anxiety around healthcare

- Grief for the life you had before chronic illness

- Advocating for yourself when doctors dismiss your symptoms

- Boundaries with medical providers

- Starting over and rebuilding life around illness

- Navigating major life changes after diagnosis

- Emotional regulation when the system fails you

- Why anxiety around medical care is survival, not paranoia

Because life isn’t either/or—it’s both.

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Resources, supplies, and ways to get involved

- Follow Grace on Instagram

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Khalil Ekulona moved from ambition-driven exhaustion to inspiration-led presence. This is a conversation about anxiety, overthinking, and what it means to choose presence over spiraling. About navigating the messy middle of major life changes when your default is achievement. For anyone who uses overthinking to avoid feeling and wonders what it would be like to just... be here.

Khalil shares how ambition became a trap, why anxiety dissolves when you come back to your body, and what breathwork taught him about presence. You'll hear why overthinking keeps you in the past or future (never now), how presence dissolves panic, and what starting over looks like when you rebuild from inspiration instead of fear.

In this episode:

- How overthinking and ambition both avoid the present moment

- Why anxiety dissolves when you come back to your body

- Inspiration vs. ambition as life philosophy

- Starting over after burnout

- Navigating major life changes one breath at a time

- Choosing presence over escape

- Emotional regulation through body awareness

- Grief for the version of yourself that needed to achieve

If you're navigating ambiguity, emotional tension, or a season that doesn't fit neatly into answers, this conversation offers language and tools to help you stay steady—right where you are.

Follow the show, rate & review on Apple Podcasts, and share this episode with someone who's trying to find balance in the middle of it all.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

- How presence interrupts overthinking and restores clarity

- What emotional intelligence looks like when grief and joy coexist

- A grounded way to process uncertainty without rushing decisions

- Why letting go of “shoulds” creates more peace of mind

- How community and curiosity support personal growth during transitions

If you’re navigating ambiguity, emotional tension, or a season that doesn’t fit neatly into answers, this conversation offers language and tools to help you stay steady—right where you are.

Follow the show, rate & review on Apple Podcasts, and share this episode with someone who’s trying to find balance in the middle of it all.

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Follow Khalil on Instagram

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Hosted by therapist-turned-storyteller Nikki P, each episode gives you simple emotional-intelligence tools for anxiety, overthinking, and the hard decisions nobody talks about honestly. We cover decision making, boundaries, anxiety, identity shifts, faith, parenting, career pivots—real life, no toxic positivity.

Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube. New episodes every Tuesday. If you want practical language for what you’re feeling and a calmer way to move forward, hit follow—and let’s navigate the gray together. Because life isn’t either/or… it’s both.

Paula Stone Williams transitioned genders at 60 after decades as a prominent evangelical pastor. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes when authenticity costs you community, career, and certainty. About the anxiety of choosing truth over belonging. For anyone facing the impossible choice between who they are and who others need them to be.

Paula shares what it means to start over when your entire identity unravels, how faith transition and gender transition collided, and why the grief of losing your old life is real even when your new life is truer. You'll hear about the both/and of missing who you were AND celebrating who you're becoming, setting boundaries with people who can't accept your truth, and why life transitions this seismic require you to rebuild from nothing.

In this episode:

- The anxiety of choosing authenticity over acceptance

- Navigating major life changes when your entire identity shifts

- Grief for the community you lost by telling the truth

- Faith transition and gender transition at the same time

- Boundaries with people who reject your authentic self

- Starting over at 60 when everything you built is gone

- Belonging vs. truth (and why you shouldn't have to choose)

- Emotional regulation when the world sees you as someone new

If this resonated, follow the show and share it with someone navigating change.

Resources & Links: 

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Connect with Paula Stone Williams

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Thank you again for listening and remember,  life isn't either/or, it's both.

Abdikadir went from refugee camp to resettlement, from one country to another, from survival mode to searching for home. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes when you're caught between two worlds. About the anxiety of never fully belonging anywhere. For anyone who's ever felt displaced, unrooted, or stuck between identities.

Abdikadir shares what it's like to carry grief for a home you'll never return to, the overthinking of trying to fit into a culture that doesn't understand you, and how to rebuild identity when everything familiar is gone. You'll hear about resilience without toxic positivity, the mixed emotions of gratitude and loss, and why starting over after displacement means redefining what "home" even means.

In this episode:

-The anxiety of displacement and cultural limbo

-Grief for a home that no longer exists

- Navigating major life changes across countries and cultures

- Overthinking belonging (where do I fit?)

- Mixed emotions: grateful for safety, grieving what's lost

- Starting over without a foundation

- Fear as a constant companion during life transitions

- Emotional regulation when everything is unfamiliar

Resources & Links: 

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Thank you again for listening and remember,  life isn't either/or, it's both.

This is a conversation about starting over after divorce — that gap between who you were as a couple and who you're becoming alone. About navigating the messy middle of major life changes when your identity was entangled with theirs. For anyone starting over and wondering who they are without their partner.

You'll hear about the grief of losing not just the person but the version of yourself that existed in the relationship, the anxiety of rebuilding from scratch, and how to hold mixed emotions (relief AND sadness, freedom AND loss). This is about life transitions that force you to redefine everything, and learning that you can mourn the marriage AND celebrate the fresh start.

In this episode:

- Grief for the identity you built as a couple

- The anxiety of starting over alone

- Navigating major life changes in relationships

- Mixed emotions: relief and sadness, freedom and loss

- Rebuilding identity after divorce

- Emotional regulation when everything feels contradictory

- Fresh starts without erasing the past

- Boundaries with your ex

If you're considering divorce, in the thick of it, or rebuilding after a breakup, this is your companion for the messy middle—language for your feelings, steps for your next move, and hope you can hold without anxiety about the future.

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions - Learn more at freshstartsregistry.com & on Instagram: @freshstartsregistry

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a solo episode about the anxiety of pausing, the guilt of rest, and why overthinking every decision to stop makes burnout inevitable. About navigating the messy middle of needing a break but feeling like you're failing. For anyone who can't rest without spiraling into guilt or panic.

I'm sharing why rest feels impossible when you've been taught productivity equals worth, how overthinking turns every pause into a moral crisis, and what it means to give yourself permission to stop without quitting entirely. This is about life transitions that require you to slow down, and learning that rest isn't giving up — it's how you keep going.

In this episode:

- Why overthinking rest makes rest impossible

- The anxiety of pausing (am I being lazy?)

- Permission to rest without guilt or justification

- Navigating major life changes when burnout forces you to stop

- Rest as survival, not luxury

- Emotional regulation when productivity is your identity

- How to pause without overthinking whether you deserve it

Because rest isn’t failure. And slowing down doesn’t mean giving up.

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Dawn Stone, the Conflict Chick, knows what it's like to navigate leadership as the only Black woman in the room. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes in your career when microaggressions are constant and burnout is inevitable. About the anxiety of code-switching, proving yourself, and carrying representation. For anyone leading while being "the only."

Dawn shares what it's like to mentor others while managing microaggressions yourself, how overthinking every word and move becomes survival, and why boundaries feel impossible when you're already fighting for a seat at the table. You'll hear about the grief of what leadership costs when you're breaking barriers, emotional regulation under constant scrutiny, and starting over when you realize the system wasn't built for you.

In this episode:

- The anxiety of being "the only" in leadership

- Microaggressions and their cumulative toll

- Overthinking every word when you're representing your race

- Navigating major life changes in your career

- Boundaries when you're already fighting for space

- Burnout from carrying representation

- Grief for what leadership costs

- Emotional regulation under constant scrutiny

- Mentorship while managing your own trauma

If you've ever shrunk yourself to fit, questioned your worth in a room, or felt the pressure to be both exceptional and invisible, this one will hit.

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get Connected with Dawn Stone, The Conflict Chick

- Get Dawn's new book Unburdened here

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of menopause and midlife when your body shifts and the world pretends it's not happening. About the anxiety of symptoms no one takes seriously and the grief of a body that feels unfamiliar. For anyone moving through menopause and wondering why this transition feels so isolating.

You'll hear honest stories about what menopause actually feels like, why anxiety and mood shifts intensify, how to advocate for yourself when doctors dismiss you, and what emotional regulation looks like when your hormones are in freefall. This is about life transitions that happen to your body whether you're ready or not, and learning to hold both the loss and the liberation.

In this episode:

- The anxiety and mood shifts of menopause

- Grief for the body you knew

- Navigating major life changes in your 40s and 50s

- Why menopause is a life transition, not just a medical event

- How to advocate when doctors dismiss your symptoms

- Emotional regulation during hormonal chaos

- Mixed emotions: loss of fertility, freedom from periods

- Starting over in your relationship with your body

This episode is educational and based on personal experience—not medical advice. Always consult a qualified clinician for care.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get Connected with Susie Beaumont at Thrive

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of loving difficult people—holding compassion for them AND boundaries for yourself. About the transition anxiety of staying connected to people who drain you and the major life changes in relationships when you realize love doesn't require access. For anyone who feels guilty for needing distance from someone they love.

You'll hear about the both/and of loving someone AND protecting yourself from them, how to set boundaries without guilt or cruelty, and why emotional regulation matters when difficult people trigger you. This is about learning that love doesn't require access and holding mixed emotions (care AND limits, compassion AND self-protection).

In this episode:

- Boundaries with difficult people you love

- The anxiety of saying no to family or friends

- Mixed emotions: love and frustration, care and limits

- How to stay connected without losing yourself

- Emotional regulation when they trigger you

- Navigating major life changes in relationships

- Why distance isn't abandonment

- Grief for the relationship you wish you had

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

REVISED DESCRIPTION:

What if loving someone doesn't mean letting them hurt you?

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of loving difficult people—holding compassion for them AND boundaries for yourself. About the transition anxiety of staying connected to people who drain you and the major life changes in relationships when you realize love doesn't require access. For anyone who feels guilty for needing distance from someone they love.

You'll hear about the both/and of loving someone AND protecting yourself from them, how to set boundaries without guilt or cruelty, and why emotional regulation matters when difficult people trigger you. This is about learning that love doesn't require access and holding mixed emotions (care AND limits, compassion AND self-protection).

In this episode:

• Boundaries with difficult people you love
• The anxiety of saying no to family or friends
• Mixed emotions: love and frustration, care and limits
• How to stay connected without losing yourself
• Emotional regulation when they trigger you
• Navigating major life changes in relationships
• Why distance isn't abandonment
• Grief for the relationship you wish you had

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

• Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions
• Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts
• Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation
• Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box
• It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

What if the friendship isn't over—it's just different?

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of friendship drift—that gap between who you were as friends and who you're becoming apart. About the transition anxiety of watching a friendship fade and not knowing if you should fight for it or let it go. About major life changes in relationships and holding grief for a friendship that changed.

In this episode of It's Both, host Nikki P and guest LaKreasha Scharcklet share authentic conversations about the emotional complexity of adult friendship: how grief and joy coexist, and how to set boundaries with compassion when connection feels hard. You'll hear about the both/and of loving someone AND outgrowing them, how to navigate drift without drama or blame, and why life transitions change friendships in ways you can't control. This is about holding mixed emotions (gratitude AND loss) and learning that some friendships aren't meant to last forever.

In this episode:

- The anxiety of friendship drift

- Grief for who you were together

- Navigating major life changes in friendships

- Mixed emotions: love and distance, gratitude and loss

- How to let go without drama

- Why life transitions change friendships

- Emotional regulation when you're mourning a living relationship

- Accepting that not all friendships last forever

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of burnout in helping professions—teaching, therapy, social work, ministry, healthcare. About the transition anxiety and overthinking of caring too much when the system doesn't care enough. About major life changes in how you work when you're exhausted by the bothness of loving the work AND hating what it costs.

In this episode of It's Both, host Nikki P and guest Corey Alexander have authentic conversations about the emotional complexity of the helping professions—burnout, toxic work environments, and the cost of caring. You'll hear about the passion that drew you in and the burnout that's pushing you out, how overthinking every case or student keeps you up at night, and why emotional regulation is harder when you're absorbing everyone else's pain. This is about boundaries you thought you couldn't set and the grief of realizing helping work might not be sustainable.

In this episode:

- The anxiety and overthinking of caring too much

- Burnout in helping professions (teachers, therapists, social workers, ministers)

- Navigating major life changes in your career

- Boundaries in work that feels boundaryless

- Passion AND burnout (holding the bothness)

- Emotional regulation when you absorb everyone's pain

- Grief for the idealism that brought you here

- Why helping work isn't sustainable without systemic change

If you're in a helping role, nonprofit work, caregiving, or any profession built on empathy—and you're exhausted, conflicted, or questioning your limits—this episode offers clarity, language, and permission to choose yourself without shame.

Because meaningful work shouldn't cost you your mental health—and it doesn't have to be either/or.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a solo episode about navigating the messy middle of holding mixed emotions when everything feels heavy. About the transition anxiety of major life changes when you're holding both/and: grief and gratitude, exhaustion and hope, breaking and building. For anyone who feels guilty for being grateful when they're also drowning.

I'm sharing what it means to build emotional resilience without toxic positivity, how to hold grief without letting it consume you, and why life transitions require you to feel everything—not choose between good and bad. This is about emotional regulation when the weight is real and the gratitude is too.

In this episode:

- The bothness of grief and gratitude

- Mixed emotions: heavy and hopeful at the same time

- Navigating major life changes when everything feels overwhelming

- Building emotional resilience without toxic positivity

- Emotional regulation when the weight is real

- Why life transitions require you to hold it all

- Grief as part of growth, not the opposite

Resources & Links:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Thomas Edmonds grew up in fear-based youth group culture. This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of faith transition when the religion that raised you was built on control, not connection. About the transition anxiety of leaving behind everything you were taught and the major life changes that come with deconstructing fear-based faith. For anyone wondering what's left when you strip away the shame.

Thomas shares what it's like to realize your faith was fear, how to rebuild belief without the scaffolding of punishment, and why starting over spiritually means grieving the community you lost. You'll hear about found family after leaving church family, boundaries with people still in the system, and the grief of losing certainty.

In this episode:

- Faith transition after fear-based Christianity

- The anxiety of leaving the only faith you knew

- Grief for the community you lost

- Starting over spiritually from scratch

- Fear as control in youth group culture

- Found family vs. church family

- Boundaries with people who can't accept your deconstruction

- Navigating major life changes in belief and belonging

If you're navigating an identity shift, reevaluating faith, or trying to make peace with your past without rewriting it, this episode offers language, perspective, and a way to stay grounded in the gray without overthinking what you "should" believe.

Because healing doesn't require pretending it was all bad—or all good.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of decision making when you're carrying ambition, guilt, and the anxiety of major life changes. About the gap between the working mom you want to be and the one you fear you're becoming—that space of transition anxiety where every choice feels loaded. For anyone overthinking every decision while managing work, kids, and the mental load.

Nikki P sits down with Heather Neisen for an honest, funny, and deeply relatable conversation about the working-mom tug-of-war: traveling for work, daycare judgments, identity shifts, and the quiet fear that motherhood will be seen as a "limiter" in professional spaces. Heather shares how growing up in a more traditional, patriarchal church culture shaped her beliefs about roles and sacrifice—and what changed as she built a family system outside the default script.

You'll hear practical reframes around self-compassion, values-based choices, and the role of community—including the idea that daycare is support, not failure. If you're navigating burnout, people-pleasing, or constant second-guessing, this conversation gives language for holding the tension and making choices from clarity, not shame.

In this episode:

- Decision making without guilt or overthinking every option

- Identity shifts in motherhood and career

- Boundaries around mental load and expectations

- Self-compassion when you feel like you're failing

- Navigating burnout without abandoning your ambition

- Emotional regulation tools when anxiety about judgment kicks in

- Mixed emotions: love and resentment, ambition and exhaustion

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

Grief doesn't follow a straight line—and it doesn't cancel out joy.

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of grief and the transition anxiety of major life changes after profound loss. About the gap between who you were before loss and who you're becoming after—where devastation and gratitude, laughter and sorrow, can exist at the same time. For anyone holding mixed emotions after losing someone they love.

In this episode of It's Both, Nikki P sits down with Annie Paraison to explore navigating transitions after profound loss. Annie shares her experience of losing multiple loved ones—including her father and her partner—and how community, ritual, and honest self-awareness supported her through seasons of grief and growth. Together, they name the emotional paradox of loss, the difference between pain and suffering, and why healing isn't about "moving on," but learning how to stay present with what's real.

This conversation gently weaves in themes of grief and growth, mixed emotions, self-compassion, and emotional regulation—offering language for those moments when your body feels broken but life keeps inviting you forward.

If you're grieving a person, a relationship, or the life you imagined, this episode offers companionship, clarity, and permission to feel without shame—without toxic positivity or pressure to be okay.

Because healing doesn't mean choosing between sorrow and joy. Sometimes it means holding both.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Connect with Annie

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about adult friendship, burnout, and navigating the messy middle of life transitions when maintaining friendships feels impossible. About the transition anxiety of being a bad friend when you're already drowning and the major life changes in how you prioritize relationships. For anyone who wants connection but has nothing left to give.

You'll hear about long-distance friendships, childhood connections that evolved, and why adult friendship requires different energy than it used to. This is about boundaries around capacity and the grief of friendships that drifted because life got hard.

In this episode:

- The anxiety of being a "bad friend" when you're burned out

- Navigating major life changes in friendships

- Boundaries around friendship capacity

- Long-distance friendships and childhood connections

- Grief for friendships that drifted

- Why adult friendship feels harder

- Emotional regulation when you want to connect but can't

- Letting go of friendship guilt

If you're missing people you love while trying to build a life where you are, this episode offers language, relief, and a few doable ways forward—without keeping score.

Because friendships don't have to be all-or-nothing to be real.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a solo episode about navigating the messy middle of burnout through the lens of motherhood and the mental load so many women carry every day. About the transition anxiety of major life changes in how you parent when decision fatigue, guilt, and mixed emotions compound over time. For anyone exhausted from constant awareness and wondering why burnout isn't a personal failure—it's often a capacity issue.

In this episode, host Nikki P reflects on the exhaustion of constant awareness: juggling parenting, work, relationships, health, and responsibility—while still trying to grow, heal, and be intentional. Nikki names how overthinking fuels burnout, the emotional cost of constant decision making, and why awareness alone increases overwhelm instead of clarity.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

- How overthinking fuels burnout in motherhood and care work

- The emotional cost of constant decision making and responsibility

- Why awareness alone can increase overwhelm instead of clarity

- Practicing self-compassion and emotional regulation when rest feels impossible

- Letting go of perfection while still honoring what matters

If you're navigating motherhood while feeling depleted, torn, or unsure how to sustain yourself, this episode offers language, validation, and permission to soften—without easy answers or toxic positivity. Sometimes relief doesn't come from doing more, but from listening differently.

Resources & Links: - Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

REVISED DESCRIPTION:

Modern masculinity needs emotional regulation—but most men were never taught how to build it.

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of identity shifts around what masculinity means. About the transition anxiety of being asked to change without being given the tools and the major life changes in how men show up in relationships, leadership, and partnership. For anyone exploring what strength looks like when it includes emotional awareness, self-regulation, and relational presence without overthinking or performing.

In this episode of It's Both, host Nikki P sits down with Devon Neisen to explore the tension many men feel today and unpack how emotional regulation supports healthier relationships, clearer boundaries, and leadership rooted in connection rather than control.

You'll hear reflections on emotional regulation, self-awareness, mixed emotions, and the cost of suppressing feelings—along with practical language for navigating vulnerability without shame or anxiety about being "too much" or "not enough." This episode offers space for nuance, compassion, and personal growth without demonizing men or romanticizing toughness.

If you're navigating masculinity, leadership, partnership, or identity shifts, this episode provides clarity for navigating transitions—without pressure to perform or toxic positivity.

In this episode, we cover:

- Emotional regulation tools for men (without shame)

- Self-awareness and mixed emotions in modern masculinity

- Boundaries that protect relationships

- How to navigate vulnerability without overthinking

- Self-compassion when you feel stuck between old and new models

- Why emotional regulation matters for leadership and partnership

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Listen to The Imperfect Dads Podcast

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of major life changes when everything unravels at once. About the transition anxiety of watching your entire foundation crack and not knowing what's left. For anyone whose life transitions aren't happening one at a time—they're colliding.

Therapist and educator Janice Holland—The Trauma Teacher—joins Nikki P to share her story of when marriage crisis, identity shift, and faith transition hit simultaneously. You'll hear about the both/and of grief and relief when everything breaks, how faith transition complicates marriage crisis, and why starting over feels impossible when you don't recognize yourself anymore.

This is about emotional regulation when the chaos is overwhelming, boundaries you didn't know you needed, and learning that unraveling isn't the end—it's the beginning.

In this episode:

- When marriage, identity, and faith transition collide

- The anxiety of everything falling apart at once

- Grief for the life you thought you'd have

- Navigating major life changes simultaneously

- Starting over when you don't know who you are

- Emotional regulation in the chaos

- Boundaries during crisis

- Why unraveling is terrifying AND necessary

If you're experiencing a relationship change, faith deconstruction, or any major life transition, this episode offers language, validation, and grounded reflection—without toxic positivity.

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Resources & Links: - Get Connected with Janice Holland, The Trauma Teacher

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of the mental load, overthinking, and the anxiety of major life changes in how you parent. About managing everything while your brain won't stop running through lists. That transition anxiety between the parent you thought you'd be and the one drowning in invisible labor. For anyone carrying the mental load and wondering why they can't turn their brain off.

Nikki P sits down with Hannah and Amy from Elevate Consulting to unpack the both/and of loving your family AND resenting the labor, how overthinking multiplies when you're the only one tracking everything, and what emotional regulation looks like when you're touched out and thought out. This is about boundaries, asking for help, and identity beyond motherhood.

In this episode:

- The anxiety and overthinking of carrying the mental load

- Why managing everything makes your brain spiral

- Navigating major life changes in parenting approach

- Boundaries around invisible labor

- Emotional regulation when you're overwhelmed

- Mixed emotions: love and resentment

- Asking for help without guilt

- Identity beyond motherhood

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Learn more about Elevate Consulting

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of healing from diet culture, the transition anxiety of being in a body the world judges, and overthinking every bite and outfit. About major life changes in how you relate to your body. For anyone exhausted by "love your body!" and wondering if there's a different way.

Therapist (and Nikki P's bestie) Heather Lefebvre joins Nikki P to share why body neutrality is more realistic than body love, how overthinking food and appearance keeps you trapped, and what emotional regulation looks like when your body triggers shame. You'll hear about the grief of years lost to dieting, starting over in your relationship with your body, and why healing doesn't mean loving yourself perfectly—it means stopping the war.

In this episode:

- Body neutrality vs. body positivity

- Overthinking food, weight, and appearance

- The anxiety of living in a judged body

- Grief for years lost to diet culture

- Navigating major life changes in body image

- Emotional regulation when your body triggers shame

- Healing without perfection

- Starting over in your relationship with your body

If you're navigating motherhood, identity shifts, or seasons where your body feels like a battleground, this episode offers clarity and compassion for the messy middle.

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Get connected to Heather Lefebvre

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- Sign up for Hungryroot and get $50 off your first box

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

This is a conversation about navigating the messy middle of divorce, parenting, and identity shifts—and what it really means to hold two truths at once. About the transition anxiety of major life changes when nothing feels clear. For anyone moving through a transition and wondering if they're doing it right.

In this opening episode of It's Both, host Nikki P shares a personal story about divorce, parenting, and identity shift—exploring the emotional regulation it takes to sit with mixed emotions, make sense of overthinking during big life changes, and stay grounded when the gap between who you were and who you're becoming feels overwhelming.

You'll hear honest reflection on navigating transitions after divorce while parenting young kids, the pressure to "do it right," how identity changes when the life you built no longer fits, and practical ways to hold mixed emotions without shutting down.

In this episode:

- Navigating transitions after divorce while parenting young kids

- Overthinking, emotional tension, and decision making

- Identity shifts when the life you built no longer fits

- Practical ways to hold mixed emotions without shutting down

- Building emotional resilience without toxic positivity

- The anxiety of major life changes

- Grief and relief showing up simultaneously

If you're moving through a major transition—divorce, family change, or a season of becoming—this episode offers language, validation, and permission to be unfinished. Healing isn't linear. You don't have to choose between truths to move forward.

Because life isn't either/or—it's both.

Get Connected & Support the Show:

- Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions

- Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts

- Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation

- It's Both on Instagram & Youtube

As Nikki guides you through real-life narratives, she encourages a shift away from binary thinking, advocating for a deeper understanding of our realities. The discussions revolve around the idea that life is not simply black and white but rather a rich tapestry of experiences that can be both challenging and beautiful. By sharing relatable stories, Nikki aims to foster healing and connection, reminding us that it is entirely possible to feel multiple emotions at once. Whether you’re grappling with personal challenges, navigating relationships, or simply seeking a more profound understanding of your own experiences, this episode of "It's Both" offers valuable insights that resonate on many levels.

Through the lens of authentic storytelling, Nikki explores how we can embrace our contradictions and learn from them. She highlights the power of vulnerability and the strength that comes from sharing our truths. By doing so, she paves the way for a more inclusive conversation about the human experience, one that acknowledges the beauty in our struggles and the lessons learned along the way. Join Nikki as she unpacks the complexities of life, encouraging you to reflect on your own journey and find solace in the shared nature of our experiences.

Don't miss this opportunity to engage with a community that values authenticity and real connection. Tune in to "It's Both" and discover how embracing the contradictions in your life can lead to greater understanding, acceptance, and ultimately, healing. Let’s celebrate the beauty of life's complexities together and learn how to navigate the intricate dance of emotions that shape our existence.

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