How do I trust myself again when I stopped believing my own judgment a long time ago?

Today’s guest felt the warning. More than one. And she talked herself out of every single one, until it cost her nearly everything.

Chel Cartmill is a Next Chapter Transition Specialist and a Certified Trauma-Informed Master Coach who has been walking people through divorce, grief, and broken relationships since 2007. She’s the founder of Reclaim, a Christ-centered healing program, and the author of the memoir Spider on My Neck.

We explore:

• Why your body sends warnings before your mind has words for them and what happens when you keep overriding them
• How “be the good person” and “don’t judge” got confused with discernment, and the slow loss of a voice
• Why people-pleasing and peacemaking are actually about control and what that costs over years
• How to rebuild self-trust
• A warning of using Scripture to cover grief, sadness and anger instead of moving through them

Connect with Chel: 📖 Spider on My Neck: available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble 🌐 www.chelcartmill.com 

Email me and tell me what resonated! I read every one myself and I write back personally.

Let’s Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

I gave him my phone code. I share my location. I tell him where I'm going before he asks. So why does he still look at me like that?

Today I'm telling you the truth about what you can actually control when it comes to rebuilding trust and why the thing you're building is worth it, when it doesn't produce the result you want.

I walk through my own list of everything I did, and the honest part: he said the words "I trust you," and I never felt it.

We explore:

• Why you can do everything right and he still may not trust you, and why that isn't your failure
• Trustworthiness is yours. Trust is his. Two completely different things
• The trap of being trustworthy only toward him, and why integrity has to be with everyone
• The question that replaced "does he trust me?"
• How your body tells you when you're out of alignment
• The real reason to keep going when the outcome isn't guaranteed

Your one step: stop measuring whether he trusts you. Start measuring whether you're being trustworthy in front of God, not in front of him.

Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

🌎 Website: www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

Ever thought, "How long is this supposed to take? Why am I still not okay? Is something wrong with me?"

Nobody gives you a timeline. So today I'm giving you an honest one. It's longer than you want to hear, but I give you something at the end that actually helps.

I share the full range of women I work with right now: one who ended things last week, and one who ended it twenty years ago. Two completely different timelines but the same healing journey.

And I tell you about my own journey, including the part that isn't flattering.

We explore:

• Breaking no contact after the one-year mark, and what it looks like for me now coming up on four years
• What nobody warns you about year two
• The mindset shift as time passes: stop surviving what happened, start building a life too good to risk
• What actually makes recovery shorter and why decisiveness and forward motion are the biggest variables you control

Email me and tell me where you are on your own timeline! One week out? Six months? Twenty years? I read every one and I write back personally 💙

Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

I'm home, and I promised I'd tell you what happened last weekend.

A group of women walked into a beach house in Florida for the Encounter Retreat and left completely different. Today I'm telling you what God did in that room, what shifted in the women, and the thing He said to me on the beach that I can't stop thinking about.

We cover:

• Nervous systems before content, phones down, feet on the floor
• How every woman carried a stranger's story all weekend with grace
• What actually shifted: women cutting contact, a marriage recommitted to, women intentionally walking into singleness with God, and every one of them using her story to encourage someone else
• My own silent question on the beach and the answer God gave me

God is speaking to you. Are you listening? You didn't need to be in that beach house for that to be true.

Email me and tell me what stirred! I read every one.

Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Why doesn't anything I try stick? I've made the decision a hundred times. I've prayed about it. So why am I still here?

I just got home from the Encounter Retreat, and I'm changing what I planned to record today because every single breakthrough in that beach house happened in the same order, and I want to tell you about it.

Safety in the body and the room IS the work.

We explore:

• Presence, regulation, and co-regulation before vulnerability
• Be, Do, Have, and why I tried to cut contact for years with a plan when what I needed was an identity
• How God does this too. Taking care of your body is part of your design

The order: body → identity → decisions → vision.

Be honest about which level you're on, and do the thing for that level. Not sure what that is? Let's talk!

Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

I’m heading towards a beach house in Florida where a group of women are about to meet God, and I want you in it with us. So today I'm sharing exactly what I'm asking Him for, and praying the same things over you.

What I'm praying:

• That every woman there, including me, would have a life-changing encounter with God
• That the Holy Spirit would be active, and that we'd recognize and engage with Him
• That spiritual chains would break, darkness would be pushed back, and Christ's Kingdom would come a little more on earth as it is in heaven
• Ephesians 3:16–21, inner strength through His Spirit, Christ making His home in our hearts, roots growing down into God's love, and the power to experience the love of Christ, not just understand it
• And the practical: health, safe travel, and real whole-being rest

Would you pray this weekend? And if you want to send something specific for me to pray for, email me! I'll also be praying for you this weekend.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

The affair is over. We did the work. So why does my marriage feel like nothing? Was all of that for nothing?

No. Something is starting, and today I want to show you what it is.

What you're feeling is normal, and almost nobody talks about it. The story we get handed goes: crisis, confession, hard work, restoration. But there's a stretch in between that nobody warned you about, where the emergency lifts and you look up and think I don't know what I'm doing here anymore.

I know this kind of flat because I've lived in it too.

We explore:

• Why flatness after affair recovery is the emergency ending, not a verdict on your marriage
• The question worth sitting with: are you trying to fit back into a shape you outgrew?
• Why you have to grieve the gap between your expectations and your reality before you can build anything new
• The identity shift underneath it all: who am I now, and who do I want to show up as?
• Be, Do, Have Framework and why most of us live it backwards, waiting on an outcome to tell us who we are

I’d love to hear more about who you want to be in your marriage! Send me an email so I can encourage you along the way!

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

What is my husband actually going through? What does he need that he isn't saying? And what is all of this doing to his body?

Today's guest works on the other side of our story, and I asked him here on purpose.

Mike Moulton coaches men through betrayal and the decisions that follow. In February 2020 he found out his wife was having an affair. Four weeks later the pandemic cost him the job he'd just started. He stayed in his marriage for eighteen months. And seven months after the divorce finalized, he had a near-fatal heart attack.

We explore:

• What eighteen months of high cortisol did to him, 25 pounds lost, cigarettes that "became my friends," and a son who said "Dad, I just want you back"
• Why sex became about proving his manhood instead of intimacy
• How his journey uncovered that his relationship with his father (not the affair) was the core trauma underneath everything
• What his heart actually needed during that time- and how it’s the exact answer the women in my community give too

Connect with Mike: 🌐 brilliantlifecollective.com 🎙 The Brilliant Life Podcast on YouTube

Email me and tell me what surprised you. And if you think Mike might be a resource for your husband, reach out! I'm happy to make that connection.

If you're struggling with thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 in the US. Please don't carry that alone.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Ten days from now, a group of women will walk into a beach house in Florida, and today I'm telling you who's coming, what we're doing there, and the one thing every woman who said yes has in common.

We cover:

• Who’s coming: women weeks out from ending an affair and women years removed, women rebuilding their marriages, women separated, women divorced, women hearing from God clearly and women sitting in silence
• What we're doing: carving out real time to hear from God, seeking Him with our whole being, and learning to hold grief and joy at the same time

The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, Florida. A few seats left.

Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk. And even if it's a no, email me and tell me what your next step is in this season! I’d love to cheer you on!

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

What does real accountability actually look like? What did he do that made staying possible? And how long does rebuilding trust really take?

Twenty-three years into her marriage, Lora Cheadle found out her husband had been unfaithful for fifteen years with five different women. Everything she believed about her life turned out not to be true, and she had to rebuild her identity from the ground up.

She stayed. They did the work. And today she's telling you what actually made that possible, from her side of the story.

Lora is an attorney, TEDx speaker, certified clinical hypnotherapist, and somatic attachment therapist. She's the author of FLAUNT! and It's Not Burnout, It's Betrayal, and she hosts the podcast FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity or Betrayal.

We explore:

• "Betrayal uncovers the truth, not just about what somebody else did, but about all the ways you betrayed yourself"
• Why vulnerability starts the whole cascade of trust
• What he did in the early weeks that mattered most
• Trust vs. trustworthy: why "do you trust him?" is the wrong question
• An honest conversation about physical intimacy
• Revealing yourself vs. being exposed

Connect with Lora: 🎙 Podcast: FLAUNT! Create a Life You Love After Infidelity or Betrayal 🌐 loracheadle.com 📖 Free Betrayal Recovery Guide: betrayalrecoveryguide.com

Email me and tell me what landed! I read every single one and I write back.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

I've confessed. I've repented. I've even forgiven myself. So why do I still feel guilty?

Because guilt keeps sending a bill long after the debt is paid, and it doesn't argue with your theology. It just quietly runs your life.

Today I'm getting specific about what guilt was making me do that I didn't recognize as guilt at the time: believing I was disqualified from serving, making myself small, and saying yes to everything my husband asked because I thought I owed him.

We explore:

• Conviction, guilt, and shame- three different things that get tangled, and why guilt is a fork in the road rather than the enemy
• The bills I was still paying, and how a life built on debt produces compliance instead of love
• Colossians 2:14 and what it means that the record of debt was canceled, not reduced
• How to find where guilt is actually living in your body
• A practice: locate it, get curious about it, and invite the Holy Spirit to meet that part of you
• Why confession is tied to healing, not just forgiveness

Your one step: find where guilt lives in your body. Ask the Holy Spirit what He wants to say to that part of you. Then wait.

And if something comes up that you need to say out loud to another human, email me! Let's get you out of the guilt storm.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Can I go back to church after this? Do I have to tell anyone? What if my church wouldn't handle it well?

There's a specific kind of hard in sitting through a service carrying something nobody in the room knows about. Standing while the music plays, wondering if you have any right to sing the words.

I sat in that for years. Today I'm telling you what finally changed, and the one thing that has to be true before going back actually works.

We explore:

• The church where I went through the women by name and couldn't tell a single one
• Why "I never doubted God's forgiveness" and "I was terrified of people's opinions" are both true and not the same thing
• The one thing that has to be true: not everyone has to know, but someone there does
• The four markers that made my pastor and his wife safe, and why "won't rush me" matters as much as "won't condemn me"
• An honest word if your church genuinely isn't safe, and the two possibilities worth asking God about
• Why you're not a liability in that room

Your one step: name one person at your church who might be safe. You don't have to tell her. Just name her.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Why does my body react before I even know why? Why can't I control this? Shouldn't my faith be enough?

Today I'm telling you about the night I stood in the rain knocking on a door nobody was answering, knowing exactly how irrational it looked and being completely unable to stop.

Here's what was actually happening: sensory information hits your amygdala about half a second before it reaches the thinking part of your brain. Your body makes the call first. Your mind arrives second and builds a story to explain what already happened.

That's not a spiritual failure. That's the equipment God gave you.

We explore:

• The half-second gap between your body's decision and your mind's explanation
• Why the same system that keeps you alive in real danger fires when his name shows up on a screen
• The honest answer to "why isn't Jesus enough?"
• Orienting: a somatic body tool you can use the moment you feel the spike

Your one step: next time you're triggered, name what your body did before you judge what you felt. Then look around the room.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

No framework today. No five steps. Today I'm simply telling you what I've been praying, over the Encounter Retreat coming in four weeks, and over you.

I share where my mind keeps landing as I've sat with the word encounter: Moses and the burning bush, and the moment that changed everything. Because there is no way to encounter the living God and come back unchanged. The woman at the well didn't. The woman caught in adultery didn't. Peter didn't. And Jesus didn't telephone down from heaven. He came and walked with us. Presence was the whole method.

We explore:

• Why I named it the Encounter Retreat
• The actual, unpolished prayers I'm praying over this weekend- for courage, for obstacles to be removed, for strongholds to break
• My own honest fears about building this, and what I keep coming back to
• And then my heart and what I'm praying for you: chains breaking, shame dismantled, wisdom for your real decisions, and a God who keeps calling His daughters home

Sometimes the most powerful thing that happens to a woman is finding out someone has been praying for her without her knowing. So now you know.

🌊 Email me RETREAT and let’s talk! (PS- You get 6 months in the Rooted Coaching Community for free! 🤭)

And if a retreat isn't your season, email me anyway and tell me what you'd want me to pray for. I read every one, and I'll actually pray it.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Can I really be close to someone who doesn't know? Am I being fake by not telling her? Who actually needs to know, and who doesn't?

A client asked me this recently and I haven't stopped thinking about it. She said it feels like there's a huge part of her she's keeping hidden, and it's not a small part, it's the thing that changed everything. So how is she supposed to be genuinely close to anyone?

Today I answer that honestly, including the part of the answer that isn't comfortable.

We explore:

• The difference between secrecy and privacy (one runs on shame, the other is a boundary you choose)
• Who I told, who I didn't, who didn't know for years, and what those relationships actually felt like
• The honest answer about whether a best friendship can survive intentional withholding
• Why the standard isn't "tell everyone." It's "tell someone."

This week, name one relationship where you want more closeness, and one true thing you could share this week that isn't the whole story.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Why don't I know who I am anymore? Why does the shame feel this specific? And what does it actually take to let go?

Today I'm joined by Lauren LaRusso, licensed psychotherapist, author of Beyond Infidelity, and someone who has walked through her own betrayal and sat with hundreds of clients in the aftermath of theirs. Her practice sees every side of this: betrayed spouses, unfaithful spouses, and affair partners.

And she said something in this conversation I haven't stopped thinking about: shame sounds identical on both sides of the story. We read one of her own journal entries from her worst season, and it's almost word for word what the women I coach say to me.

We explore:

• The "looking glass self"- why most of us build identity on who we think others perceive us to be, and what happens when that mirror shatters
• Control as the centerpiece of an active affair and my own moment of realizing I couldn't manage the outcome of my confession
• What shame actually is, where it originates, and the step-by-step practice for releasing it
• Why meditation and mindfulness aren't optional
• The difference between needing someone and wanting them, and why finding your whole self comes first

Whether you're rebuilding your marriage or you're not, this conversation is about identity, control, and what's waiting on the other side.

Connect with Lauren:

📖 Beyond Infidelity: available everywhere books are sold

🌐 laurenlarusso.com

📲 https://www.instagram.com/laurenlarusso/ 

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Email me and tell me what landed. I read every single one and I write back.

Why can't I stick to anything? I'll finally get around to caring for myself once life slows down…

Back in the spring I was asked about whether I'd actually follow through on a plan I'd been sitting on for months. I answered honestly: probably not, but it'll be easier when my schedule opens up.

The response reframed everything: if a habit doesn't exist in constraint, it usually doesn't appear in freedom.

I didn't have a scheduling problem. I had a self-trust problem, wrapped in a very reasonable story about the calendar.

We explore:

• Why more margin doesn't produce the habit, and what actually shows up instead
• Pete Scazzero's Rule of Life and the trellis image that changed how I think about structure (From his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality)
• My own rule and how genuinely small it was: two minutes of silence, one Psalm, one short walk, water and sleep
• Why freedom with no limits isn't freedom
• Start with who you want to be this year, and let the habits follow

Your one step: name one constraint this week that could create more freedom for you. Then email me and tell me what you picked.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Am I doing this right? How do I know if I'm actually healing? And what am I even working toward?

Most women in affair recovery are measuring themselves against a scoreboard they never agreed to. One where the only metric is whether the marriage survived. Today I want to hand you a different one.

I share exactly what I believed success looked like in my early healing (repair the marriage, make it better than ever, lead a ministry together), why that definition broke, and what I know now instead.

We explore:

• Why a definition of success that requires another person's cooperation isn't a definition 
• What "healed" actually means
• The markers I look for in women who are genuinely healing
• Where I stand on marriage and reconciliation
• Reclamation vs. recovery
• Why abundant life is the real scoreboard

Your one step: write down your definition of success in this season. Not what anyone else says. Yours. Then email it to me! I read every one and I write back.

And if you look at what you wrote and think "I don't know how to get there from here," that's exactly what a Breakthrough Call is for. Or email me RETREAT and let's talk about September. 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Why do I still miss him? I've done the work, I know what's true, so why can't I fully cut him off? What is wrong with me?

Nothing. There's a part of you doing exactly what she was built to do, and today I'm teaching you how to lead her instead of fighting her.

This episode is Internal Family Systems applied directly to the longing you can't seem to shake. I walk you through my own part, what she feels like, what she's actually afraid of, and the two-option lie that kept me stuck for years.

We explore:

• Why there are no bad parts of you, including the one that wants to text him at 10pm
• Three questions to ask your own part (pause the episode and answer them. This is where breakthroughs happen!)
• What attunement means and why your parts need it more than they need correction
• Compassionate leadership: why your protector part isn’t in control
• What to actually do when the feeling is intense

Your one step: ask that part of you what do you actually need right now? Write down whatever comes. Don't edit it.

Email me and tell me what she said. I read every one and I write back personally! 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Why am I still stuck after all this time? I've prayed about it, I've thought about it, I've analyzed it, so why hasn't anything changed?

Because you can't read the label from inside the jar.

Today I'm sharing three things that coaching has given me across my healing journey. Things I genuinely could not have given myself, no matter how much I journaled or prayed or thought it through.

We explore:

• What self-awareness actually looks like in practice
• How I discovered I'd been editing my prayers to a God who already knew the truth
• Why healing requires a decision, and the difference I've seen between women who move and women who stay stuck in indecision
• What coaches have done for me that I could not do alone: naming patterns, catching shame, separating lie from truth, praying out loud, and simply holding space

Your one step: email me and tell me one thing you're working on moving forward from. I read every single one, and I write back.

And if what you're moving forward from needs more than an email, book a Breakthrough Call, or email me the word RETREAT to talk about September. 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Who actually goes on a retreat like this? Am I too far along, or not far enough? And what if I don't want to spend a weekend rehashing everything?

I've been having real conversations with women about the Encounter Retreat, and the women saying yes are not who I expected. They're at completely different points in their stories, and one of them might be you.

Today I'm describing four women who are coming, and answering the hesitations honestly.

We explore:

• The woman who cut contact years ago and still doesn't have joy or freedom
• The woman in the middle of it who needs an interruption, not more information
• Why this is not an affair recovery retreat
• The woman whose church, family, and friends genuinely can't hold her story
• The woman who's past it and simply wants more of God
• Honest answers on the money, the dates, and "I don't want to rehash everything"

The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, Florida. Ten women. A beach house. All-inclusive.

Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk. Spots are limited, plans are being made, and September is closer than it feels. 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Why don't I recognize my own life anymore? Am I healing wrong? Why do I feel more lost now than I did in the middle of it?

There's a season of healing nobody warns you about, and it isn't the crisis. It's the after. The in-between. When you're not the woman you were, and you're not settled into who you're becoming yet.

Today I'm talking about the liminal space, what it is, why your nervous system hates it, and the specific internal parts that get loud when there's nothing left to manage.

I share the season after my own transformation when everything had been stripped away. I was just wife, mom, trying to heal well. I share what my coaches told me to do with that blank canvas that changed how I relate to God entirely.

We explore:

• What "liminal" actually means and why the middle of any transition is the most disorienting part
• Three parts that show up in the in-between: Little Miss Manager, the part afraid the new you won't hold up, and the shame part that wonders if you're in time out
• Why the empty season is clearing, not punishment
• What actually made the discomfort survivable: breathwork, agenda-free journaling, counseling, and staying

Your one step: name the woman you're becoming. Not who you were. Not who you're afraid you are. Healed her. Write down three things that are true about her.

Email me and tell me who she is! I personally read every single one, and I reply to each one as well. Let's build this relationship 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

What actually happens at a healing retreat? Is it worth the money and the childcare and the travel? And how do I know if it's for me?

Today I'm answering all three questions honestly, and without a sales pitch.

I'm telling you about two retreats that changed my life. The 2022 retreat where everything came pouring out of me at a kitchen table before I'd even unpacked. And the 2024 retreat where a coach told us to sit on a beach for 22 minutes with no journal, no walking, no agenda, just being, and every single woman came back with something different from God.

Then I'm laying out exactly what I'm building this September, and being honest about who it's for and who it isn't.

We explore:

• Why you don't have to be in crisis to belong in this room
• The 22-minute beach practice and the revelations that came out of it, including "what if the treasure is me?"
• The thing I can't explain away and how the Holy Spirit shows up in a room of women in ways nobody can schedule
• What I envision for September: the hugs, the dining room table, the release, the encounter
• Who this retreat is for and who it's not for
• What I can actually promise you, anchored in Ephesians 3:19 and Ephesians 2:10

The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, Florida. A luxury beach house. Ten women. All-inclusive.

If something stirred while you listened, email me the word RETREAT. One word. I'll respond personally and we'll talk about whether September is your moment. 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Who am I to ask for what I want when my husband is the one who's hurting?

If that question has lived in you, this episode is your answer.

Today I'm joined by Beatriz Vargas, host of The Grace Fueled Wife podcast, certified marriage coach, and marriage and family therapist. Bea walked through her own season of a loveless, disconnected marriage, her husband left, and she watched God bring it all back as something she never thought possible. Now she coaches and counsels wives navigating the hardest seasons of their marriages.

We go deep on communication, worthiness, and what it actually looks like to have a voice in your marriage when you're the one who caused harm.

We explore:

• Why affairs don't happen in a vacuum
• The critical difference between forgiveness and reconciliation (and why mixing them up keeps couples stuck)
• Why you are still worthy of having your needs met even after what happened
• The I-statement shift that changed Bea's marriage and how to start using it
• How to pray differently, from "God, change him" to something that actually moves things
• What emotional safety is and why it's the foundation of every conversation that matters

Connect with Bea:

💙 Website: www.thegracefueledwife.com 🎙 Podcast: The Grace Fueled Wife (plus hear Kristina's conversation with Bea!) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/e220-finding-intimacy-after-infidelity-w-kristina-joy/id1499138632?i=1000776264746

If today's conversation stirred something in you, email me! I'd love to hear what landed.

And if September is calling you, the Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

You prayed about it. You made the decision. You posted Scripture every day for 90 days. And then your phone buzzed. And you answered.

If you've ever watched yourself do something you hated (in slow motion, knowing better, unable to stop) this episode is for you. Not because something is wrong with you. Because your body was in survival mode. And your body needed help that willpower could not provide.

Today I'm talking about the spirit-body mismatch that so many women in affair recovery experience and why faith alone doesn't calm the nervous system, why God works through the body not around it, and what body-based healing actually looks like in real life.

We explore:

• Romans 7:18-19 and what Paul's experience of doing what he didn't want to do tells us about the nervous system
• Why willpower fails under stress, and the neuroscience that explains what was actually happening when you kept going back
• The Incarnation: God sent a body because He heals through the body
• 1 Corinthians 6, why sexual sin is specifically a bodily matter, and why that makes your body central to your healing
• Three body-first practices that helped me before I even had the language of somatics
• Why prayer alone wasn't enough

Your one step: notice one moment this week where your body is speaking. Don't fix it. Just name it.

Email me and tell me what you noticed. I'd love to hear from you! This is a real relationship.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Can God really forgive me? I know He forgave me, but I don't feel forgiven. Maybe God forgave me, but can I forgive myself?

If one of those questions is yours, this episode was made for you.

Today I'm stepping away from affair recovery frameworks and going straight to the root: the Gospel. Not the Sunday school version. The personal version where sin has a name, and grace has to be big enough to cover that name or it isn't big enough at all.

I share the moment the Gospel got personal for me while crying in a church pew week after week, realizing for the first time that Jesus didn't die for "sin" in the abstract. He died because of my specific, named, documented choices. And what that realization did to everything else.

We explore:

• Romans 5:8- while we were still sinners and why that timing changes everything
• The three questions women ask most about forgiveness
• Why refusing to forgive yourself is not love or humility
• Why God's primary posture toward you is love and protection, not punishment
• What it means to come home to the Father

This is the foundation everything else is built on. Without this, nothing else holds.

After you listen, would email me and tell me what landed? I read every one and I respond personally. This is a relationship, not a broadcast.

Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Why do I feel so alone after my affair? How do I find someone safe to tell? And what actually happens in my brain when I'm finally known?

Today's episode answers these with personal story, brain science, and Scripture. Because here's the truth: you were never designed to heal in secret. And the research backs it up.

Princeton neuroscientist Uri Hasson found that when a speaker shares a story and a listener truly receives it, their brain activity begins to synchronize. You are literally no longer neurologically alone in your story. And every time you name something true and someone holds it with care, your brain builds a new pathway. One where safety feels possible and shame loses its grip.

We explore:

• Why "if anyone really knew, they'd leave" is a lie and how I kept proving it wrong with coworkers, church friends, and even my mom
• The Princeton brain science behind speaker-listener neural coupling and why healing needs a witness, not just willpower
• Psalm 139: what it means to be fully known and still called wonderfully made and how that becomes the template for human safety
• 4 practical markers of a safe person: body intuition, shared faith, continued community, and fruit on their tree
• Why being known once isn't enough and why community is part of the healing mechanism, not a bonus

If you don't have that safe person yet, I’d love to be part of building that answer. The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk.

Let's Connect: 

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Have you ever wondered if God can even hear your prayers when you're living in sin? Have you felt the weight of believing that if you run home to Him, you'll be met with disappointment?

Today I'm sitting down with Heather O'Brien, healing coach, author, and host of the Heal With God podcast, for one of the most practically powerful conversations I've had on this show. Heather helps Christians who love Jesus but still feel stuck, learn how to hear God clearly, heal deeply, and walk it out. And in this conversation, she gave me tools I genuinely wish I'd had years ago.

We explore:

• Why feeling blocked from God while living in sin is more about us than Him
• The critical difference between God's loving correction and condemnation
• Two of the most healing prayers you can pray: "God, it hurt when...and it made me feel..."
• The question that can surface hidden lies about who God is: "What lie am I believing about You right now?"
• Why healing in a faith-based space is radically different from healing anywhere else

If you've been crying into your pillow without bringing it to God, this one is for you 💙

Connect with Heather O'Brien: 🌐 Free monthly Heal With God Workshop: www.healwithgodworkshop.com 🎙 Podcast: Heal With God, available on all podcast platforms

After you listen, email me and tell me what landed! I read every single one 🤍

If this episode stirred something deeper, a longing to go further in a room full of safe women, the Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, FL. Email me the word RETREAT and let's talk more.

Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

You cut contact. You're doing the work. And he's still showing up in your head! Uninvited, frustrating, relentless. Today I'm giving you the neuroscience behind why that's happening, and a practical framework for what to do when it does. This is a part 2 to EP 123 on limerence, and it goes deeper into two specific brain mechanisms: the Default Mode Network and attachment protest behavior.

We explore:

• What the Default Mode Network is and why your idle moments are when the thoughts are loudest
• Attachment protest behavior and why cutting contact can actually make the longing feel stronger before it gets quieter
• Why certain triggers fire the thought even when you've been doing well
• The shift from shame to curiosity: asking "what does this thought tell me about what I need right now?" instead of "why can't this stop?"
• Practical tools for the idle moments

Next time the thought arrives, pause and ask, what does this tell me about what I need right now? Write it down. That's where healing starts. 🕊️

Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

"Am I allowed to be happy when my husband is still hurting because of me?" That's the question a client asked me, and I've heard versions of it more times than I can count. Today I'm answering it directly, with theology, with neuroscience, and with my own story of accidentally putting joy on hold for far longer than I needed to.

We explore:

• The hidden belief underneath every "I don't deserve joy" thought (and why it’s a lie)
• Psalm 16:11 and what it actually means that fullness of joy is in His presence, not at the end of your healing journey
• Why your suffering is not helping anyone
• The difference between Regulating Joy and Expansive Joy
• How to build your own Expansive Joy Menu

Email me and let me know what your JOY activity will be this week! 🕊️

Let's Connect: 📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

For years during my affair I felt like the poster child for hypocrite every time I tried to pray, take communion, or lead devotions. Shame told me I had no right. That God doesn't hear prayers when you're living in sin. Today I want to talk about what actually broke that loop for me, and what it means to have a real encounter with God, not just information, after walking away from Him.

We explore:

• Why willpower and devotionals alone will never be enough
• The pattern you cannot miss in Scripture: every person who walked into something significant first had an encounter with God
• What Psalm 23 and the prodigal son showed me about whether I was still welcome
• The grounding phrase that has anchored my entire healing journey: be present where your feet are
• How to create the conditions for a real encounter

P.S. Want the 7-day devotional that walks through the Scriptures that were most influential in my own healing? Email me the word DEVOTIONAL and I'll send you the link! 🕊️

Let's Connect:

🙏 Grab your 7-Day Devotional HERE 

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Closeness after an affair doesn't come back all at once, and you can't think your way into it. Today I'm getting practical and a little scientific about what actually rebuilds intimacy in a marriage after infidelity: oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and five simple ways to start activating it at home.

We explore:

• What oxytocin actually is, why betrayal disrupts it, and why you need to rebuild it at the biological level before closeness will feel natural again
• Why your internal posture matters more than any tactic
• Five practical, science-backed ways to rebuild oxytocin
• Why joy is not a betrayal of the seriousness of your healing- it's part of how you rebuild

Pick one of these five this week, and let me know how it goes! Not because you have to. Because you're choosing your healing 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

There is a kind of lonely in affair recovery that doesn't have a name in most churches...and today I'm naming it. If you've ever looked at GriefShare, DivorceCare, or Celebrate Recovery and thought I don't quite fit here, you're not alone. The grief of ending an affair is real, it's disenfranchised, and most women carry it in complete silence. Today I want to change that.

We explore:

• What disenfranchised grief is and why affair recovery fits the definition perfectly
• How shame becomes the architect of isolation
• An honest look at the support options that exist
• What actually happened in my body and nervous system the first time safe women kept eye contact when I told my story
• Why complete, God-transforming healing cannot happen in isolation: theologically, physiologically, and relationally

You were never meant to heal in secret, dear friend 🫶

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

What if everything you've been doing to earn your way back isn't actually making you more worthy? The over-serving, the shrinking, the never asking, the carrying your healing alone.  Today I'm reframing one of the most quietly damaging beliefs I see in women after an affair: that worthiness is something you have to earn back through enough sacrifice and self-erasure. It isn't. And Psalm 23 changed everything for me around that.

We explore:

• The self-abandonment treadmill called selflessness
• The Psalm 23 moment that shifted everything
• What Jesus actually meant by "love your neighbor as yourself"
• A real conversation with a private client about whether you're allowed to have an experience, a voice, and needs after causing harm
• What worthiness actually feels like when you receive it instead of trying to earn it

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

I want to tell you about the kitchen table I sat down at in 2022. In a beach house I almost didn't go to, with coaches I barely knew, carrying a secret I was convinced I would take to my grave. What happened at that table is the reason this podcast exists. And it is the reason I am building something for you this September.

We explore:

• “You belong here”
• What happened when my secret came pouring out
• Who I was when I walked in and who I was when I flew home
• Why nine out of ten women in this community say "this is the first time I've ever talked to anyone who understands," and what I'm doing about it

The Encounter Retreat is September 25–27 in Panama City Beach, Florida. Ten spots. If something stirred while you listened, DM me the word RETREAT. Let's talk. 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Three years. 128 episodes. 52,000 downloads. And so many of you who showed up in ways I never anticipated when I hit record for the very first time. This episode is not a teaching. It's a thank you. I'm pulling back the curtain on what this podcast has actually looked like behind the scenes, sharing what I never told you about why I started it, and celebrating what we have built together: not just a podcast, but a sisterhood and community.

We explore:

• Why I almost stayed on Instagram, and what drew me to start a podcast instead
• What recording has really looked like behind the scenes
• The surprising pattern that’s kept me going
• What "intimacy after infidelity" actually means at its heart

If this podcast has ever encouraged you, made you feel less alone, or given you hope when you needed it, would you leave a review on Apple Podcasts? It takes 30 seconds and it helps another woman who is searching right now find her way here and know she’s not alone.

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

For three years I have told (many) parts of my story. Today I'm telling the whole thing. The parts I've protected, the patterns I've never named publicly, the nights that still live in my body when I think about that season. If you are going to trust me with your story, you deserve to know mine.

Let’s talk about:

• The specific thing I carried the most shame about
• The cyclical and time-of-day patterns I noticed in my own temptation
• Two specific memories that still live in my body: the locked bedroom and the shower floor
• The truth about relapsing after a breakthrough

If even one moment of this episode gave you a flicker of maybe that's possible for me too, would you share it with one woman who needs it? You might be the reason she finds her way home. 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

You know you need to move on.You’ve made the decision. You’ve done the work. So why do you still feel stuck? Why are you still asking why can't I let go? Today, I break down what's actually happening when transition feels hard (or impossible), why grief after a right decision is not failure, and the practical difference between waiting for healing and choosing it. Let’s look at Ecclesiastes 3, Isaiah 43, and Philippians 3 to see what God says about new seasons of life and new chapters.

We’ll explore:

• Why grieving a season you chose to leave is not a sign something's wrong
• Naming the thoughts that keep you looking backward
• Why transition requires both time and a decision (and which one comes first)
• How to use The Model to find your sovereignty in a season that feels out of control

You were never meant to navigate this alone. Come find your people. 🕊️

Let's Connect:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

What if the thing standing between you and healing isn't shame, or willpower, or even the affair partner, but fear? Not the fear of failing, but the quieter, more confusing fear that whispers: if I actually heal, I'm giving up a lot, and I don't know who I'll be.

Today I'm naming three fears I see most often in women navigating affair recovery, including the one I've never said out loud quite like this before. The fear of losing him. The fear of an unknown path. And the fear of losing an identity that, painful as it is, has become familiar.

This episode is for the woman who wants to heal and also doesn't. Who knows the right thing and still can't seem to do it. Who is tired of fighting herself and ready to understand what's actually going on underneath.

You'll learn:

• Why resistance to healing is not weakness (it's a protective part of you doing its job)
• The IFS framework for getting curious about fear instead of shaming it into silence
• What I was personally afraid to lose
• Why identity crisis isn't the obstacle to healing. It is the healing

Your one step: write down what you're afraid to lose. That answer is not weakness. It's where your healing needs to go next. Then let's chat!

Let's Connect:

🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

The affair doesn't survive on feelings alone. It survives on lies. Carefully constructed, completely convincing stories your brain tells you so you can keep going and still sleep at night.

Today I'm naming the five lies I told myself to stay in my affair. Not to shame you, but because naming the lie is the first crack in its power. And you cannot be free from something you haven't been willing to look at clearly.

I walk through each lie honestly and share the Scripture or personal truth that finally broke through each one. If you've told yourself any of these, this episode is for you.

We cover:

• Why "I can stop whenever I want" is the lie that keeps you from asking for the help you actually need
• What Paul says in Romans 6 about using grace as a reason to delay
• The harm you couldn't see because it was happening to you, not around you
• Why "no one will ever know" is not a freedom plan
• The "he'll fall apart without me" lie
• The one sentence structure that cancels your conscience every single time

Want a safe community of women walking this out together? Come join our free Facebook group.

Let's Connect:

🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

What if your obsession wasn't a character flaw? What if the intrusive thoughts, the emotional dependency, the way your entire inner world revolved around whether he responded...what if that had a name?

Today I'm teaching on limerence, one of the most important concepts I cover with my clients, and one that almost no one in the Christian faith space is talking about. I share the research of psychologist Dorothy Tennov, the neuroscience of what limerence actually does to your brain (dopamine, intermittent reinforcement, affair fog), and what it felt like inside of my own story.

Then, let’s draw a clear theological line: limerence itself is not sin. God created us to bond and connect. But I walk you through exactly where it crosses the mark, and then give you two practical steps to start moving forward without shame.

You'll learn:

• What limerence is and why it matters for your healing today
• The neuroscience of why you couldn't just stop
• Why your prefrontal cortex went offline and what that means about the choices you made
• The honest theological answer to "is limerence a sin?"
• Practical steps to interrupt the loop and redirect the longing toward what it’s actually looking for
• Why you are not weak and what healing actually requires

If today's episode gives you language for something you've been carrying, I want to talk with you! Schedule a free connection call at the link below. No pressure, no shame. Just a safe conversation.

Let's Connect:

🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

What if healing wasn't about trying harder, but about experiencing something different? Today I'm introducing one of the most powerful concepts I teach my clients, and giving it a name you'll use for the rest of your healing journey: the corrective experience.

A corrective experience happens when someone responds to you in a way that directly contradicts what shame and past wounds taught you to expect. And when that happens, your brain actually rewires. Not just intellectually. Physiologically.

I walk you through the neuroscience behind it, two Scriptural examples, and my own personal story of learning to trust myself around men again. And yeah, there was a retreat last year that made me cry with gratitude.

Then I give you the practical steps to start collecting corrective experiences on purpose, so that every brave moment, every safe relationship, every right choice gets filed as evidence of who you are becoming.

You'll learn:

• What a corrective experience is and why insight alone never changes deep patterns
• How Jesus modeled corrective experiences with Peter and the woman caught in adultery
• Why grace has to land in the body before direction can land in the mind
• My personal story of rewriting the belief "I can't be around men without crossing a line"
• Steps to notice and collect corrective experiences starting today
• Why healing in community accelerates what healing alone cannot

You are not just being forgiven. You are being rewired.

DM me and tell me one corrective experience that has already happened in your life! I want to witness it with you.

Let's Connect:

🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

💙 This episode is personal, and I think that's exactly why you need it.

Today I'm answering the questions I wished someone had asked me during my own affair recovery. Not the polished, coaching-voice answers, but the real ones. The one about sitting at my kitchen table asking God who I was when everything was stripped away. The one about the spiritual practices that actually moved the needle. The one about relapse, temptation, and whether it really does get better. The one about what freedom actually feels like when it finally arrives.

If you've been listening for a while and you want to know me better (not just as coach), this episode is for you.

Also: WE HIT 50,000 PODCAST DOWNLOADS 🎉 And I’m celebrating with a giveaway! 

1. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts
2. Screenshot it
3. DM it to me on Instagram or Facebook to be entered to win one of two FREE 1:1 coaching sessions.

Today, let’s explore:

• How I rebuilt my identity after the affair
• The spiritual practices that actually helped beyond the obvious ones
• How safe community found me
• The truth about relapse and temptation
• What freedom looks and feels like now

If this episode opened something in you, I'd love to hear from you. You are not too far gone. You never were.

Let's Connect:

🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

If you are the woman sitting in fresh shame- newly caught, newly confessed, newly trying to end something and not knowing who you are on the other side of it, this episode was created specifically for you. 

Today we step inside the story of the woman caught in adultery from John 8, not as observers, but as participants. I guide you through an experiential visualization so that you don't just know what Jesus said to her, you get to feel what it's like to be her, in that moment, when He speaks.

Because forgiveness and acceptance isn't only something to study. It's something to experience in your body, your heart, and your whole being.

We explore:

• Why Jesus knelt down and got quiet while everyone else was loud
• The historical context of John 8 that most people miss
• A guided visualization that invites you into the scene as the woman herself
• Why grace always comes before direction and the science of why your body needs safety before it can receive next steps
• The declaration that can interrupt your shame spiral today

If this episode opened something in you, I want to hear from you. You don't need the right words, just reach out. I would be honored to be a safe place for you.

Let's Connect:

🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

💬 Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

📲 Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

I'm sharing my own story of breaking no contact more times than I can count, what I learned from it, and the five steps I walk women through when this happens. Because it does happen, and it doesn't mean you're starting over.

We explore:

• Why breaking no contact doesn't mean you're back at zero
• How to find a safe person who will give you both compassion and truth
• What repentance actually means (it's not what you think!)
• Why grounding your body comes before any big decision
• How to re-evaluate your no-contact plan so it actually holds
• How to anchor into a "why" that is louder than the longing

If you're sitting in the shame of a slip right now, you need this conversation. You're not broken. You're becoming. And your next right step is closer than you think.

If you want a safe person to reach out to, I'm happy to be that person. DM me and just say "I need to talk" and we'll go from there.

Let's Connect:

🌿 Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

💬 Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

📲 Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

So what do you do with that?

In this episode, we’re talking about how to:

• understand the part of you that still feels attached
• remove shame around desire
• recognize the deeper need underneath the longing
• and begin choosing something different without forcing yourself

You’ll learn why desire doesn’t make you weak, how to gently lead yourself forward, and what it looks like to grow your readiness for change.

You don’t have to fight yourself to heal. You can learn to lead yourself with truth and compassion.

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

In today’s episode, we take an honest look at what’s really happening beneath the surface. I share my own experience of feeling pulled back again and again, why it felt like a consuming addiction, and how both neuroscience and faith help explain the cycle, bring clarity, compassion, and hope for real change.

We explore:

• Why an affair can feel addictive (and what’s happening in your brain)
• The role of dopamine, bonding, and emotional highs/lows
• Why this doesn’t mean you’re weak or broken
• How sin and spiritual dynamics can keep us feeling stuck
• The first steps to breaking the cycle and moving forward
• Why awareness alone isn’t enough and what actually leads to change

If you’re ready to understand your experience with compassion and take your next step toward freedom, this episode is for you 🤍

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

If you're the woman whose brain is trying to make the decision but whose heart is still silently longing, this episode is for you. I talk honestly about the grief of walking away, the difference between forgiveness and cleanup, and what it practically looks like to stop making room for what's slowly destroying you and start living like the woman you actually want to become.

In this episode we explore:

• Why the freedom most of us are chasing is actually dressed-up bondage
• What Romans 13 says about love as the foundation of every boundary
• Why forgiveness and cleanup are two separate things
• The most powerful prayer you can pray this year
• What "belonging to the daylight" looks like practically
• Why your emotions are information, not instructions

If you're craving a place where you don't have to pretend you have it all together and where the temptation is named, the grief is honored, and the healing is real, I'd love to connect with you. You were never meant to carry this alone. And you don't have to anymore.

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

In today’s episode, I walk you through what those first days and weeks can really look like. I share my own experience from that season, what I wish I had known, and the most important steps to focus on so you don’t feel lost, pulled back into old patterns, or trying to figure it all out on your own.

We explore:

• Why ending the affair is just the beginning, not the finish line
• How to get all parts of you on the same page (so you don’t fight yourself)
• What it looks like to intentionally show up in your marriage
• Why creating space for healing is essential, not optional
• The power of safe community and why you can’t do this alone
• What is NOT a priority in the first few weeks (and why that matters)

If you’re in this tender in-between season, this episode will help you take your next step with clarity and support 🤍

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

In today’s episode, I share my own experience of wrestling with this decision, what led me to choose confession, and how to approach this question with both Biblical conviction and practical wisdom. Because this isn’t about a one-size-fits-all answer. It’s about learning how to discern what obedience looks like in your specific situation.

We explore:

• Whether confession is always necessary after an affair
• The Biblical perspective on obedience and personal conviction
• Important safety considerations before sharing the truth
• How to wisely decide what details to share
• Practical guidance for having the conversation if you choose to confess

If you’re the woman who never thought this would be part of your story, but you’re trying to discern what honesty and healing look like now, you don’t have to navigate these decisions alone.

You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to anymore 💙

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

In today’s episode, I walk you through the same kind of questions I had to wrestle with in my own journey. I share how I learned to move beyond what I thought I should do, how I began to hear my own honest voice, and how bringing everything back to God, again and again, started to bring the clarity I was searching for.

We explore:

• The five questions that can help guide your decision about your marriage after an affair • Why no one else can give you a simple rule for what you should do • The importance of emotional, physical, and spiritual safety in your marriage • How learning to speak your honest truth with God can unlock clarity • Why wise counsel matters, and how to bring it back to the Holy Spirit

If you’re the woman who never thought this would be part of your story, but you’re trying to discern what God may be asking of you now, you don’t have to carry that question alone.

There is a path to healing, and it begins with honesty, wisdom, and safe community.

You’re not meant to navigate this season alone 🤍

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

In today’s episode, we slow things down and bring clarity to a word that gets thrown around a lot but isn’t always understood. I share from my own experience of first hearing this term in counseling, what it brought up for me, and how we can begin to discern what’s actually happening, without jumping to labels, blame, or more confusion.

We explore:

• What the word “narcissist” actually means and why it’s often misunderstood • The nine core traits associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder • Why labeling people too quickly can keep us stuck • How to discern the difference between affair fallout and deeper relational patterns • Why healthy boundaries are not unloving — and how Jesus modeled them

If you’re the woman who never thought this would be part of your story, but you’re trying to understand the deeper dynamics in your marriage, you don’t have to carry those questions alone.

You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to anymore 🤍

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Today, we’re talking honestly about why that happens and why “I should be over this by now” isn’t actually helping you move forward. Because breaking the cycle isn’t about trying harder, it’s about understanding what’s really going on underneath the surface.

I share my own experience of feeling stuck in that back-and-forth pattern, what finally helped me shift out of it, and how you can begin taking your next step forward with compassion, clarity, and support.

We explore:

• Why some women continue returning to an affair partner even after confession
• The role shame and self-pressure play in keeping women stuck
• Why traditional advice often focuses on the mind while ignoring emotional and nervous-system connection
• The power of hearing “me too” from someone who understands your story
• Why honest connection with safe people can be the turning point in healing

If you’re the woman who never thought this would be part of your story, but you’re still trying to find your way forward, you don’t have to carry this alone. There is a path to freedom, and it begins with compassion, honesty, and safe community. You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to anymore 🤍

Related episodes:

Episode 106: Why you still feel stuck even when you’re doing everything “right”

Episode 99: Rebuilding self-trust after breaking your promises.

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

So much of this journey focuses on the emotional, spiritual, and relational healing, but your body matters too. In this episode, we gently explore what it looks like to care for your physical health without spiraling into fear or shame.

I share my own wake-up moment that made this reality feel very real, the emotions that can surface around this topic, and how to approach it with wisdom, honesty, and grounded peace.

We explore: - Why STD testing can feel overwhelming or triggering - The shame, denial, and avoidance many women experience around this topic - Why avoiding the question doesn’t protect you—but clarity can - How to approach this with wisdom, not fear - How to hold the tension between God’s grace and real-life consequences - What it looks like to invite God into even the most uncomfortable decisions

If you’ve been avoiding this question or feeling unsure what to do next, this episode will help you take a grounded, compassionate step forward 🤍

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

I share my own experience of searching for resources and finding none, the internal shame that filled that silence, and why so many women feel unseen in this journey.

We explore:

- Why women often carry more visible shame after an affair - The gap in resources for women navigating their own betrayal story - How shame keeps women silent and reinforces the feeling of isolation - Why the Church and culture haven’t always known how to hold women in this well - How we begin to shift the culture by becoming safe, honest, connected women

If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one- you’re not. And you don’t have to carry this alone anymore 🤍

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

In this episode, I talk about the quiet cost of waiting and why silence often deepens shame, disconnection, and emotional exhaustion instead of protecting us. This conversation reframes healing as a container for support, not a decision about your marriage.

You’ll hear:

• Why waiting to heal can quietly cost more than we realize
• How silence impacts self-trust, intimacy, and spiritual connection
• Why healing doesn’t require certainty, permission, or urgency
• The difference between delaying healing and choosing compassionate movement
• A gentle invitation to begin, without pressure or fear

If you’re realizing something feels missing, or you’re tired of carrying your healing quietly, I’d love to connect.

You’re allowed to begin right where you are.

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

In this episode, I name and gently dismantle The Punishment Lie, the idea that healing must hurt in order to count. We explore the difference between responsibility and self-punishment, how shame shows up in the body, and what Scripture actually says about repentance, restoration, and God’s heart toward you.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why shame keeps you stuck even after confession
• How self-punishment masquerades as holiness
• The nervous-system impact of carrying chronic blame
• A more accurate, compassionate picture of God’s restorative design
• A gentle reflection to help you release unnecessary suffering

If you’re realizing that silence, shame, or self-punishment has been quietly costing you peace, clarity, or intimacy with God, I’d love to connect with you.

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

In this conversation, I talk about why healing can feel incomplete, even when you’re trying so hard. And how managing your healing is very different from actually feeling it. This isn’t about doing more or fixing yourself. It’s about learning how to let God meet you in your real emotions, not just your behavior.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why healing can stall when we focus on performance instead of presence
• How “doing everything right” can still leave you disconnected from yourself
• The difference between managing your healing and actually feeling it
• Why God isn’t asking you to rush, prove, or perfect your recovery
• A gentle reflection to help you notice where you might be avoiding your own heart

If you’re realizing something still feels missing, or you’re tired of carrying your healing quietly, I’d love to connect with you.

✨ Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Today I talk about why desire doesn’t return on command after an affair, why pressure and obligation actually delay healing, and how your nervous system plays a crucial role in rebuilding intimacy. We explore why feeling avoidant, numb, or repelled does not mean something is wrong with you and how learning to listen to your body is an essential part of whole-being healing.

In this episode, I share:

• Why your body may still be guarded even after cutting contact
• How desire is rooted in safety, not willpower
• The difference between forcing healing and honoring your pace
• Why listening to your body builds self-trust and clarity
• How desire often returns sideways through safety, compassion, and agency
• I also share a gentle reflection question to help you begin reconnecting with yourself without shame or pressure.
• If you’re tired of trying to force feelings that aren’t ready yet, and you want support that honors your body, faith, and healing pace, I’d love to walk with you.

You are not broken. You are healing, and you don’t have to do it alone.

Let’s Work Together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/apply 

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

I share my own experience of navigating that loneliness, why healing doesn’t end after things change, and why community is essential (not optional!) in this season.

We explore:

• Why loneliness often shows up after things calm down
• The gap many women feel in affair recovery resources
• Why journaling and prayer matter but aren’t meant to replace safe relationships
• How God provides “daily manna” for healing, not the full map at once

If you’re craving a place where you don’t have to rush or pretend you’re “over it,” I’d love to connect with you.

You’re not meant to heal alone, and you don’t have to anymore 🤍

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Let’s Connect:

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com

We talk about: - Why grief, loneliness, and temptation intensify before freedom settles in - The danger of “shoulds” and rushing the healing process - How God designed growth, repair, and restoration to unfold over time - Why your nervous system needs compassion, not pressure - How community provides a safe place to land in the middle of the mess I

f you’re in a season where healing feels hard and emotions feel louder, this episode is a reminder: you are not failing! You are healing.

You don’t have to carry this alone 🤍

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Let’s Connect:

Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com

In this conversation, I share my own experience navigating whether to tell friends and family about the affair, why discernment matters more than pressure, and how to tell the difference between blunt honesty and emotional safety. We talk about why not everyone is equipped to hold your story, how to identify safe people, and why healing often needs a cocoon before it needs an audience.

If you’ve felt torn between wanting to be fully known and wanting to protect your heart, this episode will bring clarity, relief, and permission to move slowly.

You don’t have to carry this alone 🤍

---

Let’s Connect:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Brittany Poppe, Christian Abortion Recovery Coach and podcast host of Abortion Recovery for Christian Women.

We talk about the emotional and spiritual aftermath of abortion, the role of silence and shame in women’s healing, and how God restores hearts through truth, compassion, and community.

This conversation is honest, tender, and hope-filled, especially for women who feel alone in their story and unsure how to move forward with God.

Connect with Brittany: www.brittanypoppe.com

Hear the podcast: Abortion Recovery for Christian Women

Instagram: www.instagram.com/brittanypoppe

Connect with Kristina:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

I’m witnessing God reclaim His daughters. He's restoring dignity where there was shame. He's bringing women out of hiding and into healing, freedom, and sisterhood.

This episode is a prophetic invitation into belonging, into identity, and into joy.

In this episode, I share:

• What I see God doing right now in the lives of women healing from affairs

• My own testimony of full reclamation and restoration

• What it means to be a Reclaimed Daughter

• Why true healing doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens in community

• And an open invitation into a rising sisterhood of women choosing freedom

If you’ve ever felt alone in your healing, if you’ve wondered whether God is done with you, if you’ve been quietly listening from the sidelines, unsure if you belong...

This episode is for you.

You are not disqualified. Your story is not over. And you don’t have to walk this road alone. Welcome home.

Let’s Connect:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Let’s work together: www.kristinajoycoaching.com

You’ll learn: • What self-betrayal looks like during an affair • Why self-trust feels impossible afterward • How to rebuild it through tiny aligned choices • The mindset shift that restores integrity • One reflection question to begin today

Let’s Connect:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

All the info: www.kristinajoycoaching.com

You’ll learn:

• How habits form in a regulated nervous system
• Why motivation isn’t the answer
• How identity and values make consistency easier
• How to create habits that feel like love, not pressure
• One reflection question to help you begin today

Let’s Connect!

- Curious about the Community? https://www.kristinajoycoaching.com/rooted-in-joy

- Book a 1:1 Connection Coaching Call: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/1-1-clarity-coaching-call

- Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

- Send me a question: https://www.kristinajoycoaching.com/contact 

Today, I share my honest journey of rebuilding identity after confession, learning my values, grounding in Scripture, and discovering who I was becoming in Christ.

You’ll learn how to anchor your healing in truth, step into alignment with your values, and let God rebuild your identity from the inside out.

You’ll learn:

• What identity crisis looks like after an affair
• How Scripture and visualization can help rebuild your sense of self
• Why values matter more than you think
• How to form a vision for your future when everything feels shaky
• One simple reflection question to help you connect with your healed self

Let’s Connect!

- Curious about the Community? https://www.kristinajoycoaching.com/rooted-in-joy

- Book a 1:1 Connection Coaching Call: www.kristinajoycoaching.com/1-1-clarity-coaching-call

- Instagram: www.instagram.com/kristinajoycoaching

- Send me a question: https://www.kristinajoycoaching.com/contact 

Happy New Year, my friend 🤍 If you’re stepping into 2026 feeling tender, unsure, or quietly hopeful, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I’m sharing why healing after an affair doesn’t require pressure, resolutions, or striving. It requires gentle, life-giving rhythms that support your body, heart, mind, and soul. We talk about prayer, Scripture, rest, movement, silence, and community as support systems (not rules) and why God designed rhythm for your healing.

I also guide you through affair-recovery–specific reflection prompts that help you listen to your body, your inner parts, and the Holy Spirit as you release 2025 and step into a new year with compassion and clarity.

If you’re craving a fresh start that actually feels safe and sustainable, this conversation will meet you right where you are.

If you’re struggling to stay grounded this season, you don’t have to do it alone.

Let's Connect! I’d love to hear where you’re listening from and what this season is stirring in you. 💙

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to set up a call to see if Rooted in Joy is the place for you!

• Safe women. Scripture + somatic healing. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

• Also interested in 1:1 Coaching? Let's connect!

The holidays can intensify loneliness, dysregulation, and the urge to reach out to an affair partner, especially when family gatherings feel overwhelming or unsafe. In this episode, I gently unpack why the craving feels so strong during the holidays and how to get through these moments without going back to old patterns.

You’ll learn: ✨ Why holidays trigger emotional overwhelm and longing for escape ✨ How texting an affair partner often functions as regulation, not desire ✨ Practical tools to ground your nervous system in triggering moments ✨ How Emmanuel, God with us, becomes a lived experience, not just theology ✨ How to stay present, care for yourself, and choose healing even when it’s hard

If you’re struggling to stay grounded this season, you don’t have to do it alone.

Let's Connect! I’d love to hear where you’re listening from and what this season is stirring in you. 💙

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to set up a call to see if Rooted in Joy is the place for you!

• Safe women. Scripture + somatic healing. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

• Also interested in 1:1 Coaching? Let's connect!

In this episode, I share honestly about how the holidays used to dysregulate me and how I've learned to stay grounded, present, and connected to God without numbing or escaping. This is a compassionate guide for navigating holiday triggers, family dynamics, and emotional overload with grace and nervous system awareness.

You’ll learn: ✨ Why the holidays can feel especially dysregulating ✨ How old escape patterns show up during family gatherings ✨ Simple boundaries and grounding tools you can use in real time ✨ How to stay present with God and yourself without numbing

Join the Community:

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy today (bi-weekly coaching + embodiment devotional, 24/7 chat support).

• Safe women. Scripture + somatics. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

• Also interested in 1:1 Coaching? Let's connect!

Today, I’m keeping it real and sharing honestly about my own journey of longing for closure with my affair partner. I’m also opening up about the powerful moment I realized I didn’t need his words to heal. So if you’ve ever waited for one last conversation, apology, or goodbye before you could move on, this episode will help you take your power back and find closure with God instead.

You’ll learn: ✨Why we crave closure so deeply ✨ Why his apology or explanation often pulls you back in ✨ How to release his story and reclaim your own ✨ How God’s words bring real closure to your heart ✨ Practical tools for grounding, processing, and letting go

Join the Community:

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy today (bi-weekly coaching + embodiment devotional, 24/7 chat support).

• Safe women. Scripture + somatics. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

• Also interested in 1:1 Coaching? Let's connect!

You were never meant to heal alone. In this episode, I share some personal stories behind my own breakthrough moments, from the first time I admitted I couldn’t cut contact, to the retreat where I experienced safety and compassion for the first time, to the women who held space for me when she was convinced I had to take my secrets to my grave.

I also reveal what I'm seeing inside my own group coaching community:  the “me too” moments, the relief from isolation, the courage that rises when women hear their own thoughts mirrored in someone else’s story, and the unique healing that happens only in safe, faith-filled connection.

You’ll learn: ✨ Why you cannot read the label from inside the jar ✨ The brain science behind safety and co-regulation ✨ How God uses other women as mirrors and midwives for breakthrough ✨ The lies the enemy uses to isolate you — and the truth that sets you free ✨ Why healing accelerates in community (and why trying alone keeps you stuck)

💙 Plus, hear real testimonials from women inside Rooted in Joy who have found compassion, clarity, accountability, and a sisterhood they didn’t know they needed.

Join the Community:

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy today (bi-weekly coaching + embodiment devotional, 24/7 chat support).

• Safe women. Scripture + somatics. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

• Also interested in 1:1 Coaching? Let's connect!

The Group Coaching Experience is now open! DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join the sisterhood today!

If you’ve ever wondered how to become the healed version of yourself, the woman you know God is calling you to be, then this episode is your roadmap. I'll share real stories from my own healing journey, including the moment I acted like my healed self long before I felt healed, just last week! I'll also discuss how identity, values, and embodiment create transformation from the inside out.

You’ll learn: ✨ Why it’s normal to feel disconnected from the “future you” at first ✨ How to make choices from identity instead of emotion ✨ The lies you must shed to step into who God says you are ✨ How to use the Be–Do–Have framework to align with your healed self ✨ One powerful question to guide your next brave step

Join the Community:

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy today (bi-weekly coaching + embodiment devotional, 24/7 chat support).

• Safe women. Scripture + somatics. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

• Interested in 1:1 Coaching? Let's connect!

If you’ve ever asked, “Why are affairs so wrong if they feel so good?” this episode will help you see the longing underneath the behavior and the good design underneath the distortion.

We’ll unpack Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7 through a modern lens, exploring sexual stewardship, wholeness, and what it means to align your body, mind, and spirit with God’s original design for intimacy and freedom.

You’ll learn:

• Why freedom in Christ is about discernment, not indulgence
• How the craving itself points to God’s good design underneath the distortion
• The connection between body, spirit, and sexual stewardship
• Three truths about desire, grace, and holiness
• Reflection questions to help you process this passage personally and with God

Join the Community:

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy today (bi-weekly coaching + embodiment devotional, 24/7 chat support).

• Safe women. Scripture + somatics. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

Let’s Connect:

• Instagram: DM GROUP for details

• 1:1 Coaching: email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

If you’ve ever wondered why the wrong thing could feel so right, this episode is for you. I'm sharing my real-time 🔥 Holy Spirit revelations 🔥 from a church sermon, unpacking how the enemy distorts truth to lure us into counterfeit lies. You’ll learn how to identify the lies, test them against God’s Word, and experience His Light and Truth as your ultimate source of provision.

You’ll learn:

• How unmet needs lead us toward false comfort

• How to test every thought and emotion against God’s truth

• Why seeking first the Kingdom realigns your desires with true provision

• A prayer practice to ask the Holy Spirit to replace lies with truth

Join the Community:

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy today (bi-weekly coaching + embodiment devotional, 24/7 chat support).

• Safe women. Scripture + somatics. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

Let’s Connect:

• Instagram: DM GROUP for details

• 1:1 Coaching: email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Sister, you’re not “too emotional” and you’re not a robot. God designed your body, brain, and heart to work together. In this episode, I teach a simple Christian & somatic approach to feeling your feelings without spiraling into old patterns. We’ll use The Model and The Domino Drill, parts-work in plain English (think Inside Out), and a handful of on-the-spot practices you can use today.

You’ll learn:

• Why emotions are messengers, not enemies, and how God meets you in them

• A Christian, embodied take on The Model + The Domino Drill to stop emotional spirals

• How to use parts-language (“Hi, loneliness”) to reduce intensity and increase compassion

• Quick somatic tools (sigh + anchor, orienting, etc.)

Join the Community:

• DM GROUP on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy today (bi-weekly coaching + bi-weekly devotional, 24/7 chat support).

• Safe women. Scripture + somatics. Real tools. A corrective, healing experience for your nervous system.

Let’s Connect:

• Instagram: DM GROUP for details

• 1:1 Coaching: email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

When the affair ends, the silence can feel unbearable. Not just because he’s gone, but because you don’t recognize yourself anymore. In this episode, I share my own story of identity loss after infidelity and walk you through the process of rediscovering who you are in Christ. You’ll learn how to detach from false identities, rebuild your self-worth, and start living as the grounded, confident woman God created you to be.

You’ll learn: ✨ Why it feels like you lost yourself after the affair ✨ How to detach your worth from another person’s attention ✨ The spiritual practice of asking God who He says you are ✨ Simple ways to rediscover what brings you joy and peace ✨ A practical, faith-filled framework to rebuild identity after betrayal

Let's Connect!

• DM ROOTED on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy group coaching. The kickoff call is this week!
• Book a 1:1 Coaching Call
• Find me on Instagram or in the Facebook group and let's meet!

You’re not crazy for still thinking about him, and you don’t have to stay stuck. In this episode I explain the neuroscience behind intrusive thoughts, help you name what you’re really missing, and teach practical, faith-filled tools to interrupt old loops and create new, healing associations. This includes somatic practices, a visual “leaf on the river” exercise, and coaching prompts you can use today.

You’ll learn:

• Why your brain keeps replaying memories

• How to distinguish what you miss from who he really is

• Practical tools to interrupt obsessive thoughts and rewire your brain

• How to grieve without staying stuck and meet your deeper needs safely

• A short, cognitive and spiritual anchor to help take every thought captive

Let's Connect!

• DM JOY on Instagram or email kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com to join Rooted in Joy group coaching. The kickoff call is Monday, October 20!
• Book a 1:1 Coaching Call
• Find me on Instagram or in the Facebook group and let's meet!

If you’ve ever thought, “I should feel guiltier… I should regret this more…” this episode is for you.

I share my personal story of how guilt once kept me chained to shame and how learning the difference between guilt and responsibility changed everything.

You’ll learn: ✨ The difference between shame, guilt, and true responsibility ✨ Why punishing yourself is not the same as repentance ✨ How God’s kindness, not condemnation, leads to real change ✨ The identity shift that happens when you stop “should-ing” yourself ✨ Practical ways to walk in freedom, forgiveness, and grace

This episode is an invitation to stop punishing yourself and start healing through radical self-compassion and the truth of who God says you are.

🎧 Whether you’re in the early days after disclosure or years into rebuilding, this is your reminder: You can’t shame your way to healing. But you can love your way there.

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina (and ask about the NEW GROUP forming!)

🌿 Be a founding member of the new group program — where women are rising together in healing, identity, and freedom

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

Have you ever asked yourself, “Will I ever feel fully loved again after what happened?”

In this episode, I share my raw journey of what it felt like to stay in a marriage after betrayal: the fear, the constriction, the loneliness. I’ll also walk you through the turning point that shifted everything: discovering my worth in Christ, learning to get radically honest in prayer, and finding new ways of healing that went beyond waiting for my husband to change.

This episode will encourage you if you’ve felt unseen, unloved, or stuck in shame. You’ll discover that intimacy after infidelity begins with God, with yourself, and with a love that can never be taken away.

You’ll learn: ✨ Why your healing can’t depend on whether your husband changes or not ✨ How Scripture + somatic healing opened the door to freedom for me ✨ What to do if you’re still feeling lonely even though your husband stayed ✨ A powerful practice to feel God’s love and safety right now ✨ Why true intimacy begins with you and God before it’s rebuilt with your spouse

This isn’t just about saving your marriage. It’s about reclaiming your voice, your worth, and your identity in Christ.

🎧 Whether you’re just beginning the healing process or you’ve been carrying the weight of betrayal for years, this episode is a reminder that God’s love is unconditional, secure, and always enough.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina (and ask about the NEW GROUP forming!)

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

Do you know for sure if you’re saved? Not if you’ve been religious, gone to church, or tried to be a good person, but if you have truly received salvation through Jesus Christ?

In this episode, I share my personal story of coming to know Jesus, from a childhood prayer, to wrestling with doubt, to experiencing a whole new level of surrender after my affair and baptism. I connect my own testimony with the clear gospel message: that Jesus, the Son of God, lived a perfect life, died for our sins, rose again, and offers us the free gift of salvation if we will receive it.

You’ll learn: ✨ The difference between religion and relationship with Jesus ✨ Why salvation isn’t about trying harder but receiving His free gift ✨ How my affair + baptism became a living picture of being rescued from sin and shame ✨ A simple step-by-step explanation of the gospel ✨ A prayer you can pray if you’re ready to receive Jesus personally

This isn’t just for women who don’t yet know Christ. It’s also a reminder for anyone who’s been stuck in shame, doubt, or “trying to be enough” that your identity and hope are secure in Him.

🎧 Whether you’ve never prayed for salvation or you just need reassurance of what’s true, this episode is a fresh invitation to experience Jesus’ love and freedom.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

After an affair, the word boundaries can feel heavy, like walls, restrictions, or even punishments. But what if boundaries weren’t about fear, but about love?

In this episode, I unpack what boundaries really are (and what they’re not) and show you the three essential types of boundaries every woman needs after infidelity: ✨ Boundaries with the affair partner ✨ Boundaries with friends and community ✨ Boundaries with your spouse

You’ll learn how to set boundaries that actually protect your peace, how to communicate them with clarity, and what to do when someone doesn’t respect them. By the end, you’ll have one practical step you can take today to feel safer, clearer, and more free in your healing journey.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

Have you ever felt invisible, discarded, or like no one understands what you’ve been through? In this episode, I share how the God, who saw Hagar in the wilderness, is the same God who sees, hears, and responds to you. He's El Roi, even in your wilderness.

We’ll explore how being seen by God changes everything about how you live, love, and heal after an affair. You’ll walk away knowing you are never truly alone and how to open yourself up to His provision and promises.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

When people you love, even people in the church, don’t show up for you in your hardest seasons, the ache runs deep.

In this episode, I share my own story of unmet expectations, quiet grief, and how Jesus became my true Good Samaritan: seeing me, stopping for me, and carrying me when others passed by.

You’ll learn how to hold grief and gratitude together, release bitterness, and receive the healing presence of Jesus in places where people fell short.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

You know he’s not good for you, so why do you still think about him?

If you've ever found yourself craving attention, safety, or affection from someone who hurt you, this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, I’m unpacking:

- How I started to recognize addictive patterns and anxious attachment

- What your cravings are really trying to tell you

- Why your nervous system might chase the familiar, even when it’s painful

- How to respond with love, not shame, and take your next right step forward

This isn’t about self-sabotage. It’s about healing the real need underneath the craving and gently coming home to yourself and God.

You’re not too much. You’re not too far gone. And you don’t have to do this alone.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

You cut off the relationship. You’re doing “the right things.” But the ache? It’s still there.

Why do I still miss him? Will this longing ever go away?

Yes, the ache is real. But it’s not about him—it’s about what you’re truly wired for: emotional intimacy, safety, and being seen.

This episode is your gentle guide to reclaiming that connection… without outsourcing your worth.

💡 Here we explore:

• Why missing him doesn’t mean you messed up
• What connection really is (and what it isn’t)
• How to stop outsourcing your need for attention and affection
• The difference between emotional intimacy and codependent intensity
• How to start tending to the “home within” and find peace with God and yourself

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

You cut contact. You deleted the number. You swore you’d never reach out again. So why does it still hurt? Why do you still miss him?

I get it. No contact isn’t a quick fix. It’s like withdrawal.

And healing is about way more than blocking someone.

In this episode, I’m sharing:

• Why cutting contact can still leave you craving him
• What helped me actually move forward
• The difference between willpower and inner transformation
• How to return to yourself again and again, with love

This isn’t about shame or weakness. It’s about choosing you and God, one small moment at a time.

If that’s where you are, my 4-week course Coming Home to Freedom is open now. It’s where we retrain your body to feel safe again, with Scripture, nervous system healing, and a community that gets it.

Or book a 1:1 coaching call if you want to talk it through personally.

You’re not broken. And you’re never alone.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

Everyone talks about earning back trust from your spouse after an affair. But here’s the truth no one tells you: before anyone else can trust you again… you have to learn how to trust yourself.

In this episode, I’m sharing why rebuilding self-trust is the root of true healing—and how to take small, safe steps toward integrity and alignment with who God made you to be.

You’ll learn: ✅ Why obsessing over your spouse’s trust keeps you stuck ✅ How “big trust” starts with small kept promises ✅ What integrity really means when no one’s watching ✅ Simple ways to rebuild self-trust *and* your nervous system ✅ How to stop fearing your own choices and feel safe in your own body again

If you’ve ever thought, “I can’t even trust myself not to mess up again,” this episode will help you breathe, slow down, and rebuild from the inside out.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

What if your continued struggle isn’t a sign that you’ve failed… but a sign that you’re still becoming?

In this honest and hope-filled episode, I share what it means to walk through the messy middle without shame. You’ll learn how to reconnect with your future self, care for your body and spirit, and return to your values without trying to “fix” yourself. This is for the woman who feels tangled, tired, or tempted to give up. You are not broken. You are becoming. And this episode will help you remember that truth.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

If you’ve just ended an affair—or maybe you’ve confessed and you’re still spinning in shame—you might be wondering: Where do I even start?

I know what it feels like to be frozen in confusion. To believe you have to fix everything. To feel like you’re the problem. But healing isn’t about fixing your marriage first or spilling every tiny detail. Your first step is coming home to yourself and God.

In this episode, I’ll share what those early days looked like for me—what actually helped me move forward, the biggest misconceptions women believe at the start of this journey, and the one gentle but powerful next step I recommend for you right now.

What you’ll learn in this episode: ✔ Why your first step is not fixing your marriage or earning everyone’s trust ✔ How shame shows up and keeps you stuck in secrecy ✔ What healing really involves—your mind, heart, soul, and body ✔ The one small shift that started my journey home

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

What if repentance wasn’t about shame, but about coming home?

In this tender and truth-filled episode, I share what it means to return to God not with guilt, but with grace. Through my own story of wrestling with desire, honesty, and identity, you'll be invited to reframe repentance as a loving homecoming, not a spiritual punishment. Whether you're still in the affair or navigating the ache afterward, this episode is a safe, compassionate space to be honest and begin healing.

You are not disqualified. You are still welcome. You are still becoming.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

You thought things would get better after the confession. But now? You just feel stuck.

In this episode, I speak directly to the woman still in the middle- maybe still in the affair, maybe just out of it, still wrestling with shame, spiraling thoughts, or disconnection from God and herself. You’ll hear my story of getting unstuck, the moment I finally found support, and how transformation often begins in the quiet, hidden places.

We’ll explore the difference between punishment and process, what it means to go inward like a butterfly in a cocoon, and why your journey is not just valid- it’s sacred.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

After an affair, it’s easy to withdraw, thinking you're protecting yourself or others. But withdraw turned isolation keeps you stuck, while solitude creates space for healing.

In this episode, we explore the subtle but powerful difference between the two. You’ll learn how to recognize when you're numbing or hiding, how to build healthy rhythms of solitude with God, and why safe community is essential to your healing after infidelity. This is for the woman who feels lost, disconnected, and unsure how to re-engage without shame.

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

After betrayal, the shame can feel unbearable. You wonder, Who even am I now? In this episode, we explore the shock of your choices, the myth of the "good girl," and the invitation to rebuild your identity through the eyes of grace. You're not beyond redemption—and you're not alone.

If you’re asking, “How could I have done this?” then join me! In this episode, we talk about the identity crisis that follows infidelity, how shame distorts your view of yourself, and why your story isn’t over. You'll hear encouragement rooted in Scripture, reflections on purity culture, and a fresh reminder of who you are in Christ, even after an affair. Whether you’re still in it or healing from it, this is a powerful step toward wholeness.

Next steps:

✨ Your first step toward healing starts here → Coming Home to Jesus guided workshop 👉 www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

✨ Ready for deeper transformation? → Join Coming Home to Freedom, my 4-week course that helps you rebuild intimacy with yourself and God while releasing shame. 👉 www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

💬 Join our safe and growing community → www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 

📩 Want to talk with me 1:1? → https://calendar.app.google/v7dKcC7aZVfH8YHL8 

💙 Find me on Instagram! @kristinajoycoaching

You finally told the truth. You thought it would bring peace. But now you feel more confused, ashamed, or overwhelmed than ever.

This episode is for the woman who confessed her affair and is now wondering what comes next.

I’ll walk you through why confession is only the beginning, what real healing looks like, and how to rebuild trust in yourself and intimacy with God.

Next steps:

✨ Your first step toward healing starts here → Coming Home to Jesus guided workshop 👉 www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

✨ Ready for deeper transformation? → Join Coming Home to Freedom, my 4-week course that helps you rebuild intimacy with yourself and God while releasing shame. 👉 www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

💬 Join our safe and growing community → www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 

📩 Want to talk with me 1:1? → https://calendar.app.google/v7dKcC7aZVfH8YHL8 

💙 Find me on Instagram! @kristinajoycoaching

If you’ve been trying to fix your marriage, your emotions, or your image… and you're exhausted, this episode is for you. Healing doesn’t start when everyone else changes- it starts when you slow down enough to listen to you. In today’s honest conversation, I’ll share how I stopped overfunctioning, started trusting the Holy Spirit within me, and began healing from the inside out.

The first step isn’t doing more—it’s getting radically honest.

Next steps:

✨ Your first step toward healing starts here → Coming Home to Jesus guided workshop 👉 www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

✨ Ready for deeper transformation? → Join Coming Home to Freedom, my 4-week course that helps you rebuild intimacy with yourself and God while releasing shame. 👉 www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

💬 Join our safe and growing community → www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 

📩 Want to talk with me 1:1? → https://calendar.app.google/v7dKcC7aZVfH8YHL8 

💙 Find me on Instagram! @kristinajoycoaching

Sister, this episode has the MOST downloads of all time, so I know that it resonates with many of you! 

Are you stuck in an affair and wondering how to get out? Who can I talk to, and where can I go where I won’t be judged or feel shame? Let me reassure you now- not everyone gets access to your heart and story!

Today I dive into the very FIRST step of finding freedom, and that is finding and creating safe spaces in your life. These could be by yourself, but I also give a few ideas about safe people and safe physical places. Until you feel safe, you’ll stay stuck and unable to move forward towards freedom.

Remember: you are not alone!

I pray you experience the love of Christ!

xoxo,

Kristina

Let’s Connect:

💌 Book a 1:1 Coaching Call with Kristina

📖 Experience the Coming Home to Freedom course + 4 coaching calls and messaging

💙 7-part devotional experience

📸 Send me a message on Instagram with the word CALL for more support: @kristinajoycoaching

Friend, if you follow my Instagram stories (@kristinajoycoaching) then you know I've begun working with a fitness coach. I've worked with personal trainers before, but in this season of life, it's hitting differently.

Having walked through several years of a healing journey, I found so many similarities between the personal growth of my heart + soul and the growth of my physical health.

So today, let me be a tour guide that tells you what's ahead. I pray you're encouraged and motivated to take YOUR next right step. I'm cheering for you!

Always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

New Devotional-Journal out NOW! www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect: www.forms.gle/fpuCrJMTfHH33PoL6

Join our safe and growing community- www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Sister, today's episode is unique because I want you to think about sharing it with a friend. Is there something you wish your friend knew about your marriage or affair? Or is there something you want them to understand now that it's in your past? These are my top 8 things I wished my friends knew before, during, and after my infidelity. I pray they help you begin a conversation and reconcile a relationship. 

SHAME wants to keep you hiding. I'm here to help you expose what's in the dark so you can begin to walk in Truth and freedom.

Always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

New Devotional-Journal out NOW! www.kristinajoycoaching.com

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect: www.forms.gle/fpuCrJMTfHH33PoL6

Join our safe and growing community- www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity 

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Friend, I'm getting honest here and sharing a few of the lies I believed during and after my affair. In my healing journey, I've learned to 1) become aware of my thoughts and 2) repent of the lies I come into agreement with. 

SHAME wants to keep you hiding. I'm here to help you expose what's in the dark so you can begin to walk in Truth and freedom.

Always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

New Devotional-Journal out NOW! www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect (www.forms.gle/fpuCrJMTfHH33PoL6)

Join our safe and growing community- www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

Have you ever stopped to consider the thoughts and stories you let race through your brain all day? Can you answer the question, What are you thinking about your marriage? Or the affair? Or yourself?

I want to challenge you to consider that your thoughts about a situation are not Truth. But you CAN pause and consider- are these thoughts serving me well? Are they Truth? Or should I gain some clarification and more insight?

Your thoughts shape your life. It's time you start listening to them.

And always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

New Devotional-Journal out NOW! www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect (It's FREE!) (https://forms.gle/fpuCrJMTfHH33PoL6)

Join our safe and growing community- http://facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

One of the greatest pieces of advice I've been given on my journey is: Honesty is kindness. It took me a while to grow into that, but when I did, it radically changed things for me.

It all starts with honesty. Yes, speaking truth instead of lies, but also speaking UP instead of hiding in fear and shame.

Who do you need to be more honest with right now?

And always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

New Devotional-Journal out NOW! www.kristinajoycoaching.com 

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect (It's FREE!) (https://forms.gle/fpuCrJMTfHH33PoL6)

Join our safe and growing community- http://facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

One of the biggest lessons I learned after confessing my affair and beginning my healing journey was that God wasn't interested in an agenda. He was not in a hurry for me to heal. He was after my heart, and He wanted me to slow down enough to hear Him. 

So what did I do while 3 kids were in school and the baby was napping? I sat at my kitchen table and opened my Bible. I didn't have a plan to follow. I just listened for what He had been highlighting to me, and I looked for it in His Word. 

And He spoke to me in His Word. And sister- He wants to speak to you too. Let's dig in!

Always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect (It's FREE!)

Join our safe and growing community- http://facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

One thing I hear often is some rendition of "I really miss my affair partner, and what can I do about it?"

First I'm here to tell you- it's a completely normal response. And the good news is, you don't have to stay stuck in that feeling! Let's chat today about how your feelings stem from your thoughts, and your thoughts come from an identity issue. 

Always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect (It's FREE!)

Join our safe and growing community- http://facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

When was the last time you "stopped to smell the roses"...or the dandelions? What's the big deal about these weeds anyway? And what's that got to do with healing from an affair??

Today, I open up my journal from the season after ending my affair, and I share a way that God spoke to my heart through a flower.

I guarantee you'll never look at a dandelion, or yourself, the same way again!

Always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect (It's FREE!)

Join our safe and growing community- http://facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

The question that prompted today's episode came from real people with real stories. We live in a world with hurt. And unmet needs. And people who are willing to meet those voids - whether or not they should.

But what do we do with the butterflies in our stomach? How do we handle the compliments that are truly flattering?

Let's chat, sister!

And always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect (It's FREE!)

Join our safe and growing community- http://facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

I was an adult when I learned "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" was a lie! Words have the power to bring life or death. And that goes for the words you speak as well as the thoughts you think.

So today, let's chat about how words can change your perception of a situation, your health and the health of those around you, and your identity. That's a HUGE one. 

I'd love to know your answers: What labels do you need to let go of? Or what identity do you need to begin living out? Come let me know in the community!

And always remember: You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect (It's FREE!)

Join our safe community- http://facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

In this episode, I wanted to break down what I mean when I say Intimacy After Infidelity. It's important to know because that's what I'll be talking about and coaching about! So come hang out with me in all the different ways!

And remember, You are not alone!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

Next Steps:

Interested in coaching? Let's Connect

Join our safe community- http://facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity

Email me directly- kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

One thing Jesus did was have regular times of REST. He got alone. He prayed. He listened. He enjoyed God's presense, on purpose.

I'm so excited to do that too. Stay tuned for future episodes of Intimacy After Infidelity- after this season of resting in God!

As always, you can still message me and find me in the Facebook Community.

You are not alone!

"Your body cannot go where your brain has never been."

Today is all about coloring in the picture of your life and marriage. Begin to tell your brain what is safe and familiar and what YOU choose to pursue. No more letting old patterns control you.

Come share your answers in our community!

You are worth dreaming with Daddy, my sister!

And always remember: You are not alone!

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But when I reflected on that because I was looking for a new M.O., I realized, I need structure and support. Ahh, that feels better.

Last episode we talked about a plant and how we can choose success in thriving instead of failure to thrive.

Now, let's dig deeper into some practical applications of what that might look like for you! Come share your structure in our community!

You are a beautiful and precious flower, my sister!

And always remember: You are not alone!

Community on Facebook

Connect on Instagram

Email me directly

But when I reflected on that because I was looking for a new M.O., I realized, I need structure and support. Ahh, that feels better.

Today, let's dive into an example of a plant and how we can choose success in thriving instead of failure to thrive. Next week, we'll dig deeper into some practical applications of what that might look like for you.

You are a beautiful and precious flower, my sister!

And always remember: You are not alone!

Community on Facebook

Connect on Instagram

Email me directly

God made our bodies and called them very good. But do you ever struggle with wanting to go back to your former way of living? The one that didn't honor your body how God intended?

Join me as I walk through a few Scripture passages and remind us of what God says. Stop focusing on the past. We have a new nature, created to be holy and righteous!

How else do YOU care for your physical body?

And always remember: You are not alone!

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I'm coming at you today with tons of practical tips on changing that! Let's work to rewire your brain so that you can create the habits and life you actually want.

I'd love to hear what your next step is!

And always remember: You are not alone!

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Unfortunately, the only "right" answer is the honest one. But there is HOPE for healing and forgiveness in Jesus's name!

And always remember: You are not alone!

JOIN US for our weekly coffee chat- Ask me for the link!

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I realized this applied to exercise. To business. To time with God. And even to my marriage!

So are you feeling stuck or overwhelmed? What do you need to do next? Listen as I share my 6 tips for both your personal and marriage growth!

Always remember: You are not alone!

JOIN US for our weekly coffee chat! Ask me for the link!

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1. When an affair affects your family relationships

2. What has helped you grow spiritually on your healing journey?

3. Having an experience of Christ's love- do we have to walk through a traumatic experience?

4. Christ meets us in our anxiety!

Always remember: You are not alone!

JOIN US for our weekly coffee chat! Ask me for the link!

Community on Facebook

Connect on Instagram

Email me directly

Get ready for some mindset work AND practical application! It's time we commit to living in truth, communicating our desires, and working on ourselves. Remember to come tell me what you're changing this week!

And always remember: You are not alone!

JOIN US for our weekly coffee chat! Ask me for the link!

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Email me directly

I want to share a sneak peak into a counseling session I had during that season and share a few reflection questions I learned then. Join me on the daily journey of shedding your shame to live in true freedom!

And always remember: You are not alone!

JOIN US for our weekly coffee chat! Ask me for the link!

Community on Facebook

Connect on Instagram

Email me directly

You are not alone!

JOIN US for our coffee chat and Fervent book study by Priscilla Shirer! Tuesdays at 8:30 pm EST. Ask me for the link!

Community on Facebook

Connect on Instagram

Email me directly

Grab Fervent on Amazon (or Audible)

-How are you giving yourself space to ride out the emotions like you ride out a snow storm?

-What are you believing about the affair? About the partner? About yourself? About your marriage?

-Have you ever written out your whys for why you chose to end the affair? And why you chose to commit to your marriage?

You are not alone!

JOIN US for our coffee chat and Fervent book study by Priscilla Shirer! Tuesdays at 8:30 pm EST. Ask me for the link!

Community on Facebook

Connect on Instagram

Email me directly

Grab Fervent on Amazon (or Audible)

You are not alone!

JOIN ME for our Fervent book study by Priscilla Shirer! Starting THIS Tuesday, January 9 at 8:30 pm EST. Just ask me for the link...

Connect on Facebook

Connect on Instagram

Email me

Grab the book on Amazon (or Audible)

Need access to a coach on demand? Email me at kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com and let's see how I can support you!

Ever been part of an accountability group? What was your experience? I've had a few great ones, but I've also been part of a few that fed my shame and guilt.

Join me today as I look at a few ideas of what accountability should NOT look like and also some things it needs to have.

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Have you ever wished you had immediate access to a coach who gets it? Email me at kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com and let's see how I can best support you!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo,

KristinaJoy

PS- Did you know your brain physically heals as you share your story in a safe space? COME join our FREE community HERE! You are not alone!

One of the first questions in my healing journey was around my identity: who am I now? And more importantly, who does God say I am? So often we look at what we DO for a job or what we accomplish. But what if my identity isn't about my actions? That's great news for those of us who have struggled!

Join me today as I use Colossians 3 to answer those questions and more! Where are you? Who are you? And what can I do based off that?

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Join community HERE. You are not alone!

Sister, Do you resonate with this? Sometimes you don't need another 3 point sermon; you just need someone to sit and hold your heart.

Today, I just want to sit and share some thoughts I've had while reading a life-changing book, Quenched. I pray that these thoughts challenge you in the deepest parts to know God more fully and get a clearer picture of how He sees you. (Hint: It's NOT with disgust!)

I pray you feel loved and seen, and that this encourages your healing journey. You were rescued and set FREE! It's time to walk in the freedom.

Find Jessica Harris's book Quenched HERE

Follow Jessica on Instagram @beggarsdaughter

Find community HERE

Today, I share about a time I almost relapsed, but this time I had a plan. And I had wise counsel who almost made me cry on an airplane. So let's shed that shame and lean in to the hard and holy work of taking every thought captive.

Check out the Facebook community where we can be that safe space for the scary moments!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I promise you, friend- there IS a better way! Today, let's talk about eliminating hurry, and creating space for the things that matter.

You matter. Your marriage matters. Your children matter. Your time matters. Let's take them back instead of letting the temptation of hurry take control.

Oh and don't forget to check out the Facebook community where we can cheer you on!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Today I share the part of my story where I chose to be around leveled up leaders who are determined to make an impact for the Kingdom. I share the lessons they taught me and how it applies to you, too. 

Now if you are a network marketer who wants to know the upcoming 2024 trends along with how to make a Kingdom-Impact with your business, I have a treat for you!

Monique Scrip & Becky Baxter will be hosting a FREE masterclass all about how to use Kingdom strategies to build your business. We would love for you to join us and share with with your teams!

Register here: https://scripandbaxter.myflodesk.com/freemasterclass

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

PS- Hear my interview on Monique's podcast! Episode 95: Prioritizing your Marriage

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Today let's talk about triggers, the emotions that get squeezed to the surface, and how we need God's Truth to cover it all.

Oh and don't forget to check out the Facebook community where we can cheer you on too!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Eeek! I felt the same way. As I learned how loving, kind, gracious, and compassionate God is towards me, His child, I couldn't help but think about how I parent my own children!

So join me on this parenting journey where I seek to model God's parenting style in my own home!

Oh and don't forget to check out the Facebook community where we can cheer you on too!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Whether you have a goal for yourself, your marriage, or your job, learn the secrets to set yourself up for success.

Oh and don't forget to check out the Facebook community where we can cheer you on!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Even though I was raised in the Christian world, the Bible felt dry for most of my life. It wasn't until my affair confession that I finally got serious about God's Word and what it meant for me. Can I share some of my favorite tips with you today? Let's dig into God's Love Letters together ❤

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

So let's talk today about what decisions you need to make, AND what else is impacted by your choices.

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Episodes I mentioned: Ep 4: Radical Honesty- 4 Ways To Rebuild Trust In Your Marriage

Ep 6: Get to Know Yourself and Your Needs

I did something I never dreamed I was capable of. And then I finally hit my rock bottom.

BUT GOD. Jesus was so incredibly kind and gracious, and he rescued me from my own mess. He pulled me out of the fire. He saved me from all of the damage I caused and was about to cause.

So please be blessed by my story. Be encouraged, you are not alone. Be strengthened, that you need to make things right with such urgency as a life or death situation. And be bold- please let me know how I can help. I love you.

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Today I dive into what it is, what it says about God, and what it means for you, today. Grab your warm drink and favorite sweater; you'll want to be comfy cozy for this one!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

So today I'm diving into what makes makes us apathetic and flat-line in our prayer life, along with some suggestions for a refresh. 

God answers prayer! And your prayer life, or lack of, is evidence of your belief. Join me in upping your prayer game, sister!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Do you ever feel stuck in a rut spiritually? We all do. Maybe it's a dry season. Or God feels especially quiet. Or you're trying to rebuild your relationship from the ground up. So where do you start??

Let me tell you about 3 life-giving habits that I'm growing in and how they'll help you, too. Maybe you've heard of one or two, but commiting to all 3 of these is a powerhouse to focusing on your rebuiding your relationship with God. You want to improve a relationship? It takes time and intentionality. Which one can you work on this week? 

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Do you ever read the Bible and think, "Yes! That's so me!" Or the opposite, "There is NO way I could do that!"

You may fall in one of those two camps today as we look at Psalm 105:1. Maybe you're ready to "Let the whole world know what God has done," or maybe you're still wondering when God is going to show up in your story. Either way, this verse has 3 commands that apply to all of us. And I'd love to hear your takeaway, too!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Today I referenced:

Episode 8 on Lamenting

Episode 6 and the SPIES acronym

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Did you remember there's a war going on all around us? Satan is out for your family, your attention, and any part of your life he can get. But the good news is- you are not alone! Habakkuk wrote a book in the Bible about his conversation with God when his country was at war. And God told him it was about to go from bad to worse!

But isn't our God good- He wove hope into the entire conversation along with reminders of truth about who He was and is. So if your situation feels so bleak and discouraging right now, grab your Bible and find Habakkuk- God has a word for you today!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

When was the last time you checked your phone settings and saw the amount of time you spend on social media? Does that number shock you? Have you ever thought about how much social media takes from your life- time, energy, attention? Intimacy?

Let's get real, and really honest, about the potential threats that social media plays in our lives today. It's time to get serious about what we let into our homes, our lives, and our hearts. And if you've been considering laying down your social apps at Jesus's feet- I'm right there with ya!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: Join the community, catch me live, get immediate support: www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Hey Friend,

Have you ever searched for the "definition of cognitive dissonance"? I hadn't either- until I learned that was the phrase I needed in order to explain this terrible feeling I had. The things I preached, the values I held to, the Bible stories I believed in- none of it lined up with how I was choosing to live my life during my affair.

So today I break it down for you: What is it, how do you know if you have it, and how do you get out of it?! I'd love to hear your thoughts after the show!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: NEW community! www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Hey Friend,

Do you find yourself fresh out of a confession about an affair? Are you overwhelmed with what you should be doing now? Everybody you might talk to has a different opinion, or maybe you don't feel safe talking to anybody! (And I don't blame you!)

Here I talk about the 3 things I did immediately that helped in our healing journey. These things anchored me, grounded us, and were critical to our emotional health and healing.

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: NEW community! www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity WEBSITE UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Friend,

Growing up I claimed, I hate emotions! Silly contradiction, right? Well it played out in my life and marriage when I began to observe HE (hear, WE!) are emotionally immature and it's really impacting our intimacy, communication, and married life!

I'd love to save you the trouble of staying immature and never growing, so I'm here to share 3 specific things we're doing to grow personally and together. These are ways we are emotionally growing, healing, and thriving. I can't wait to hear what your next step is!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo, KristinaJoy

Next steps: NEW community! www.facebook.com/groups/intimacyafterinfidelity Email me: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com

I was told once, "You can't be upset at the results you don't have because of the work you didn't do." Wow! Although that advice was about business, I immediately saw the appliction to my life and marriage. So when you look at your life today, are you happy with where things are? Or do you wish things could be different? What work are you willing to put in to make the change?

Today, let's talk about what results you want in your marriage. And let's learn what actions, feelings, and thoughts you need in order to get there! I learned this Self-Coaching Model from Brooke Castillo, and it radically changed my thinking about what I'm responsible for. I can't wait to share it with you!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today! xoxo, KristinaJoy

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Are you struggling to rebuild trust with your husband? You're committed to your marriage, but you're not sure exactly what to do or how to keep growing? I remember facing difficult decisions, having hard conversations, and asking what would help us heal the best way possible.

So in today's episode, I want to talk about rebuilding trust, prioritizing your marriage, and making difficult decisions. Your actions need to line up with your words because you are 100% committed to truth and trust-building now. Let's dig in together- I pray this blesses you, and I'd love to help however I can!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today! xoxo, KristinaJoy

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Grab your favorite (non-alcoholic) drink- I can't wait for you to meet my friend Ashley! She is a Sober Coach for people trying to break unhealthy drinking patterns, and she has a similar passion like me for helping women find true freedom in their life!

What drew me to Ashley when we first met, was that we used similar language: addiction, shame, labels, recovery, freedom. But while I talk about the affair addiction, she talks about it with substances. What a beautiful community that understands the need to put God first and find healing!

In today's conversation, we talk about: True freedom from the issue and not "willing" it away. The role your brain plays when your body is doing "new" things. Your identity and how the words you use to label yourself can empower you or keep you stuck.

Pull a chair up to the table- let's dig in!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today! xoxo, KristinaJoy

Connect with Ashley on Instagram: @ashley.sobercoach

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Have you ever wondered what exactly a healthy marriage looks like, anyway? You know the movies are fake, but what's left for real then? Is there any way to really build a marriage strong enough to survive anything?

I have some revelation for you today! Just like a tree has roots, a trunk, and leaves with fruit, your marriage can be rooted, stable, and life-giving! I break it all down inside today's episode.

I pray you experience the love of Christ today! xoxo, Kristina

**Ready to chat? Let's talk about how to shed your shame and take the first steps toward true freedom! I'm ready to get in the trenches with you, girl!**

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

I am so excited for you to meet Darnell Wilson today! He currently serves as Director at Northeast Ohio Impact, unleashing the Gospel to local college students. We first met when he preached a sermon at my church on forgiveness and how Christians need to forgive and be forgiven.

Today we continued the conversation in Zechariah, where we learn Jesus silences Satan's accusations on our behalf. And what's more, God changes our clothes- and our life! And we are never the same!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo,

Kristina

Continue the conversation with "Darnell J. Wilson" on any social media channel.

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

So maybe I convinced you in the last episode to seriously consider spending 10-15 hours a week with your spouse. How is that going for you so far?

Would you love a little more support? I'm here today sharing 10 date ideas you may have never heard of or tried before! These are guaranteed to change things up, and they include both in-and-out of the house options as well as paid and free. Choose your own adventure! Then come tell me about it!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo,

Kristina

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

Do you ever hear recommendations and think, there's NO way I could do that! I used to think that when someone told me- healthy marriage have couples that spend 10-15 hours a week together. This is intentional, face-to-face time where you can communicate and grow together. Cue all the excuses: kids, time, money, sleep! 

But then I got serious about my marriage. I wanted to invest in it and show my husband he was a priority to me. After all, when we were dating, we spent tons of time together! Why not now?

So in today's episode, I break down the hours with some suggestions of how it could practically work for you. Need more suggestions or want to talk about how it would look in your situation? Book a FREE call and let's work through a plan together!

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo,

Kristina

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

True confession: there are still parts of the Bible that I do NOT want to read because I'm afraid of the shame and conviction creeping back up! Proverbs 7 was one of those that came up in my reading plan- all about the "immoral woman."

BUT GOD met me even there! When I was willing to be open and take my emotions to Him, He showed me a beautiful scene of redemption, rescuing, and safety. He is so good, I just had to share it and encourage you as well.

I pray you experience the love of Christ today!

xoxo,

Kristina

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com 

We could all use a little more JOY in our life, wouldn't you agree? There are enough things fighting for our attention between social media, the news, and just hard things that enter our lives. You know a fruit of the Spirit is Joy, but have you ever wondered what it is and how do you get it? And maybe you've been in a season of hurt and pain so long, you're not even sure you could ever experience Joy again.

There is HOPE, dear one! If there was Joy for King David (who had an affair and murdered her husband), then I guarantee there is Joy for you today. Let's dive in and learn what it is, how you can get it, and why you even want it. Then come and let me know what you're going to do with it!

I pray you experience the love of Christ!

xoxo,

Kristina

Let’s Work Together:

📞 Book your private Breakthrough Call: https://learn.kristinajoycoaching.com/breakthrough 

💌 Email: kristina@kristinajoycoaching.com