This episode dives into non-binary identity, self-discovery, and the process of unlearning expectations around gender. If you’re questioning your own identity, exploring gender diversity, or curious about what it feels like to come into yourself later in life, this episode offers a raw and relatable look at that journey.

I open up about the intensity of fertility hormones and what it felt like to suddenly experience emotions, mood swings, and bodily changes in a way that genuinely reminded me of puberty for the first time. From hormone injections and progesterone pessaries to feeling hyper-aware of my body and how other people perceived me, this episode explores the complicated relationship between pregnancy, gender, and visibility.

I also share the unexpectedly emotional experience of trying to find bras that actually worked for my changing body after years of wearing binder-style bras, including a deeply uncomfortable trip to Primark that forced me to confront feelings I hadn’t fully unpacked before.

And finally, I talk about the decision to legally change my name before giving birth, why it mattered so much to me, how pregnancy made identity feel more public and official, and why I wanted to enter parenthood as the version of myself that truly felt right.

This episode is about identity, control, dysphoria, visibility, and learning how to stay connected to yourself while your body and the way the world sees you changes around you.

I share what it felt like seeing our tiny person for the first time, watching them move on the screen at just 6.5cm long, and how that moment quietly shifted something in me emotionally after months of fertility treatment, waiting, and uncertainty.

I also open up about the surreal world of pregnancy cravings, from sour snakes and Jaffa Cakes to oranges, olives, mozzarella, swiss roll and custard and what it felt like to suddenly realise my body was making decisions before my brain could catch up.

And finally, I talk honestly about becoming unwell during pregnancy, the emotional difficulty of taking nearly three weeks off work, and learning that sometimes rest isn’t weakness, it’s necessary.

This episode is about letting go of control, listening to your body, and realising that pregnancy isn’t just physical, it changes the way you think, feel, and exist in the world around you.

I share what the donor selection process really looked like behind the scenes, from reading letters and hearing donor voice notes to navigating the emotional weight of choosing someone who will always be part of our future child’s story.

I also open up about moving forward with IUI as a non-binary person: the scans, hormone injections, trigger shots, pessaries, ovulation tracking, and the complicated relationship between fertility treatment, gender, and identity.

After six rounds of IUI, countless appointments, negative tests, medication, stress, and emotional exhaustion, this episode follows the reality of trying to conceive when hope and heartbreak start living side by side.

And finally, the moment everything changed: the positive test that made all of it feel real.

I share why we chose IUI as our starting point, what the fertility testing process actually looks like, and how quickly assumptions about our bodies and future were replaced with very real questions.

I also open up about what it meant for me, as a non-binary person, to suddenly become the one carrying. From internal scans and Hycosy testing to unpacking complicated feelings around gender, pregnancy, and identity, this episode explores the emotional shift from supporting the journey… to being at the centre of it.

This episode is about uncertainty, adaptation, and learning that something can feel complicated without feeling wrong.

In this episode, I talk about why we decided to become parents, what this journey has already meant to us, and why I felt the need to start this podcast in the first place.

I also explain the meaning behind “Xaddy”, the name, the identity behind it, and why traditional parenting labels never quite fit.

This episode is really the beginning of everything: fertility, identity, visibility, and documenting what it’s actually like to experience pregnancy and parenthood as a non-binary person in real time.