What even is AI?

• How can we have a gospel lens when it comes to engage it? (Is that possible?) • What is the potential for evil? • What about good? • Is there an overlord of AI? (Who controls it?) • How can we help our kids live in an AI world when we don’t understand how to? • What’s the hope?

Next Steps:

• His site here. • His Substack here. • Join the HIMH Pod FB group here. • Our NEW book here.

Author Kelsey Kramer McGinnis says, “That’s talk about that.”

Okay! Let's do it. With her book, The Myth of Good Christian Parenting, as our guide, today on the podcast we explore how Christians started to believe there was *a right way* to do “Christian parenting,” and how we can parent in a Christlike way without feeling like we are walking on a tightrope.

Next Steps:

Watch it here.

Find her book here.

Kelsey’s IG here.

Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

Read the Krieg’s latest book here.

• What are Matt and Laurie’s stories—and how do they relate to the Hole in My Heart?
• How did Laurie and Matt get into this work?
• Why is the gospel so important to conversations around sexuality?
• How can Christians approach pronouns?
• How can we help our kids not just put boundaries on porn but build strength to fight it when they encounter it?
• How can we talk to our kids as they go through puberty? 
• How can we talk with people who demand we buy into their affirming LGBTQ worldview but refuse to hear ours?
• As a public school teacher, how can we lead well in these conversations?
• How can we talk about crushes?
• My kids are 3 and 5, my sister just married a woman, how do I help them navigate it?
• How can we talk with our kids about God’s design for sex if it feels too early? (We don’t want to over-expose them!)
• How can we talk to our kids about modesty?

Next Steps:

• Find Raising Wise Kids here. • Find the Impossible Marriage book here. • Find Laurie’s Journey Well book here. • Watch the whole event here. • Want to invite Laurie and Matt to your next event? Email podcast@lauriekrieg.com!

How has fear of the conversation morphed in the last 10 years?

How have disciple-makers in this convo changed for the better?

What can we learn from our past mistakes?

Next Steps:

• Kristen’s site here.  

• Her IG here.

• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here.

• Read the Krieg’s book here.

Together, we explore how to thoughtfully and faithfully engage the topic of porn while leading the younger disciples in our lives with wisdom, clarity, and compassion.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What to do when we feel unequipped to talk with our kids about pornography

• Why these conversations need to start earlier than most of us expect

• The specific words that are helpful before and after a child encounters porn

• Whether punishment is ever the right response when a child watches porn repeatedly

• How heart needs—not just curiosity—can drive teens toward pornography

• How to engage a culture that celebrates porn while forming resilient, Christ-shaped kids

This conversation is practical, honest, and deeply hopeful for anyone raising or discipling kids in a sexually broken world.

Next Steps:

• Greta’s book here.

• Her site here.

• Her IG here.

• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here.

• Our book here.

• Watch it here.

Matt interviews Laurie on the writing process and more:

• What was the inspiration?
• What were the hardest and best parts in writing?
• What does it mean “by Laurie Krieg with Matt Krieg”?
• What is the one takeaway you hope people take from it?

Next Steps:

• Find Raising Wise Kids here! 
• Get the audiobook here.
• Raising Kids Video Series here.
• Our marriage book here.
• Our Journey Well book here.
• There’s still time to join the live podcast! 
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here.

We hear her story of finding Jesus as well as:

• How did she get into the Food Network world?
• Does she even struggle with cooking dinner every day?
• How can we turn the kitchen into a sanctuary instead of a place of angst?
• How can God use our past challenges to shape our futures?
• How does Aarti shine light both in the secular world and in the Christian world?

Next Steps:

• Get her book here.  
• Follow her on IG here. 
• Live podcast here.  
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here. 

• How do we find the courage to speak truth with love?
• How can I love a gay friend well when they enter a same-sex relationship?
• How can a same-sex attracted man discern between marriage and singleness?
• How do I navigate pornography and masturbation conversations in a mixed-faith marriage?
• What healthy boundaries can we set for our kids when it comes to preventing sexual abuse without becoming “helicopter” parents?
• How do we engage and disciple our kids when family members identify as gay or trans?

Thanks for bringing the content! We’re so glad you are here.

Next Steps:

• Live podcast here.
• Raising Kids Video Series here.
• Our book here.
• Fight the New Drug Link here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here.

In this episode of the Hole in My Heart Podcast, we talk about healing the wound within and explore:

• Why so many of us swing from an anxious go-go-go pace into depression
• How we can begin looking inward—beyond simply calling a therapist
• The difference between solitary suffering and plain-old suffering
• Why boundaries matter… and where they can become a problem

It’s tender, practical, and deeply hopeful. Join us?

| Next Steps |

• Get his book here.
• Visit his site here.
• Snag the LIVE podcast link here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here.

You ask, and we are thinking it through with you. What did you ask?

• “My husband is gay and left our family to be with a man. How do I talk with my kids about this?”
• “My son wants to paint his nails, play with dolls, or wear a dress. How do I lead him?”
• “My transitioning cousin is coming to the holidays. How do I engage them and lead my kids?
• “How do I know what is age appropriate to teach my kids about God’s vision for marriage and gender?”
• “How did you overcome your struggle with wanting to end your life, Laurie?”

| Next Step Resources |

Link to our book here. 

Link to our launch team here.

Ask more questions on IG here.

Join the HIMH FB Group here.

What is that doing to our emotional health? What is that doing to our actions? How is that affecting our very DNA?

Global bestselling author and pastor, Max Lucado, is here to help us understand not only the science behind our thoughts but the heart beneath them. 

How can we “take every thought captive?”

How does something like anxiety and depression factor in?

Is this just plastering a smile on a bad day or a rough life?

Let’s talk about it all.

| Highlights |

• “Everybody else says ‘do,’ but Jesus says ‘done.’” —Max Lucado • “Just because you have a thought does not mean you have to think it.” —Max Lucado • “Thought management can also be called unceasing prayer.” —Max Lucado

| Next Steps |

• Get his latest book here.  

• Check out his site here. 

• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here. 

• Find Laurie on IG here.

We need to be fathered by the Father first.

Today, author and popular YouTuber, Glen Henry, helps us understand his journey of being fathered by God as he walks with his own kids.

| Highlights |

• “When you have a child, you are collaborating with God on a masterpiece.”
• “I will fail my children. It’s not if I do but when I do.”
• “Our children and our spouses are our biggest assets. The biggest stage you will ever stand on is in your living room.

| Next Steps | 

• Join HIMH Live!  
• Get Glen’s book here. 
• Check out Glen’s site here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here. 
• Let us know what you think about the podcast here.

We surrender our sexuality.

What does that mean?

Today we have Authentic Intimacy co-founder, author, and psychologist, Juli Slattery, back on the show to help us understand the difference as well as: 

• What do we do if we feel stuck in our broken sexuality and shame?
• How do we love people who want to fight us?
• How do you invite someone into bringing their full selves to Jesus?
• What if we don’t want to do this ministry work anymore?

| Highlights |

• “Most Christians have a saving knowledge of Christ, but they don’t have an ongoing intimacy with Jesus that changes anything.”
• “The idea of offering your body to God when you have been sexually traumatized is terrifying. It could be helpful to remember that although God has every right to pull rank, He never does that. He is always inviting. He gives, and He invites.”
• “When I wake up and my job every day is to engage in sexual issues, I have no energy for that. Honestly. I don’t like it. When I wake up and I see that my calling is to engage people on the spiritual issues that sexually often represent, boy do I get energized.”

| Next Steps |

• Join us in GR in November. 
• Join HIMH Live! 
• Get Juli's book here.
• Check out Juli's site here.
• Hear our convo on her pod here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG here.

Today, Laurie and Matt take YOUR questions including:

+ How should we navigate attraction—when it’s not to toward our spouses? (Single people, there is is stuff in this one for you especially when we speak generally about friendship/intimacy in friendships)

+ Is it hard to be married to someone who experiences same-sex attractions?

+ How do you protect your kids from violence while keeping them informed?

+ How did we talk with our kids about the shooting at Annunciation by someone identifying as transgender, and how did we talk with our kids about Charlie Kirk? (We recorded this before the funeral, FYI.)

+ How should we engage someone who attends our church and cross-dresses?

Find Out More:

• The Nov 7-8 Raising Kids Event here.  

• The Jan 31 HIMH Live Podcast Event Info coming soon!!

• Preorder the Kriegs’ book here. 

• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here. 

What if we don’t have friends who we can rely on in not just the good times but the hard?  

Today, ministry leader, speaker, and author Toni Collier is back to help us understand why we need godly community and how to get it as well as:

What if I feel too disappointed in God to even talk to him as my friend?

What if I don’t access my emotions well enough to share with others?

What if I’m an introvert?

Find Out More:

• Get Toni’s book here.  

• Check out her site here. 

• Watch the last episode with Toni here.

• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

• Ask Laurie a Q on IG here.

Thankfully, God is calling people to resource parents to equip their kids with a gospel vision for human sexuality, including a massive parenting discipleship project.

It is called Christian Sexuality: Raising Kids, and you can hear the behind-the-scenes details with friend, author, and theologian Dr. Preston Sprinkle today on the podcast!

Next Steps:

• Preorder the series here.

• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

• Laurie’s IG here.

• Watch here.

All we see is:

1 . Emotional exhaustion 2. Autopilot living or cynicism 3. Loss of fulfillment

Yup. That’s burnout. How can we heal from it? How does it affect our relationship with God? And how can we move forward with hope?

| Next Steps | 

• Forbes article (with a quiz) here.

• Psychology Today article here.

• The app Steve mentioned here.

• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

• Connect with Laurie here.

Ruth is a teacher and author, and she knows the real-life challenges of helping kids to and parents to turn their hearts toward God.

How can we practice something like family devotions without it feeling too forced?

What if husbands and wives are on different pages about how to lead the family spiritually?

Is structure helpful or hurtful?

Let’s dive in.

| Next Steps |

• Ruth’s site here.
• Her IG here. 
• This book here.
• Her new book here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Sign up to get on the HIMH email list here. 

We literally cried. All of us. And it led to a mentoring relationship between Matt and our guest, Michael John Cusick.

Why? We were struck thinking about how to *actually live* in that tension between our faith and our experience.

Join us?

Next Steps: 

• Michael’s site here.
• His book here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Do pastors always outsource?

Do they never outsource?

What role does the church have for families in crisis?

Let’s talk about it with author and psychologist (and lover of the Church), Jennifer Ripley.

| Highlights |

• “The church…will bring you casseroles, but when a crisis shows up, we often don’t know what to do.”
• “Pastors have a role in a person’s life that a therapist or medical doctor does not have.”
• “A Church community can provide healing in ways that others cannot. I can provide that somewhat as a therapist…but a whole community that holds people and gives them opportunities for growth? That’s beautiful.”

| QOTW |

What was your favorite children’s book while growing up?

| Next Steps |

• Her book here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.
• Sign up to get on the email list here.

Specifically, documentary creator and author John Michael Bout helps us ask and answer:

How can we help our kids prepare to see it?

How can we help them recover?

What hope do we have?

| Highlights |

• “Parents are often like, ‘We live in a technological world. I know there is pornography out there. I have no idea what to do!” We can throw our hands in the air, and bury our heads in the sand. I always want to say to parents, ‘Yeah, this is hard. This is challenging. We live in a unique time. But God has given you everything you need to talk about sexuality.”
• “At the heart of every situation where there is pornography going on, there are good and holy desires. They are finding their end in a counterfeit—in the wrong thing.”
• “There are good studies to show that the first person to teach on the topic will become the expert. As a parent, you want to be the expert when it comes to questions of sexuality.”

| QOTW |

What is something you have purchased off a cookie ad or As Seen on TV and it was actually good? 

| Next Steps |

• The trailer here.
• The site here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.
• Sign up to get on the email list here.

The next generations especially seem to feel this pull.

How can we help Gen Z and Alpha understand who they are in Christ? How can we start with our own identity so we speak from a place of firm-footing instead of hypocrisy? Author and therapist Jonathan Holmes is here to help lead us.

| Highlights |

• “A gospel identity is one that is received and not achieved.” —Jonathan Holmes
• “All of us parents can struggle with wanting to make our kids into our image, rather than helping them fulfill and live into their image-bearing capacity.”
• “God’s first words about sexuality are ones of invitation not prohibition.” —Jonathan Holmes

| QOTW|

If you had the time and the desire, what sport would you want to get really good at?

| Next Steps |

• His IG here.
• His book here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Sign up to get on the email list here. 

We feel shame, anger, and . . . gratitude?

How should we feel? 

How can parents approach screen time with their kids—and move us all from fighting to flourishing?

Christian dad, tech-guru, and founder of Protect Young Eyes, Chris McKenna, is here to help us.

| Highlights |

• “Some of the loudest voices advocating for our children are coming not from the Church.” —Chris McKenna
• “There is no other issue on earth today that is at risk for darkening the hearts of our children than their digital spaces. It must be the thing we talk about second most to Jesus Christ.” —Chris McKenna
• “This is Brain against the Game—not Kid versus Parent. If our child acts wild after stopping a game or show, our instinct is to think, ‘This is my kid is fighting back against me and being disobedient.’ That stirs up anger and confrontation between us. But if parents can remember, ‘That game is harming them. I am going to be upset at the *game* because of what it is doing to my precious child.’ That pivots our anger into empathy.” —Chris McKenna

| Next Steps |

• Follow Protect Young Eyes on IG here.
• Read Protect Young Eyes Resources here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.
• Sign up to get on the email list here.

Our guest and author, Rachel Gilson, said it well on today’s episode: “Even my friends who had great discipling moms and dads didn’t grow up in this cultural moment. Their moms and dads didn’t have to help them navigate these cultural questions.”

She continued: “So even they feel out on a limb: ‘No one prepped me for this.’ There is a panic of feeling without a guide and lost. That’s no one’s fault but it’s where a lot of us find ourselves now.”

Parents were not prepared for this. How do we live and teach the next generation wisely?

We also talk discuss:

How do we engage this topic not with a culture-warrior mentality but a Jesus mentality?

When do we talk about sex and sexuality?

How can we teach our kids a gospel identity?

| Highlights |

• “We are made for love, but for love that is richer and deeper and thicker than our culture is currently telling us it is.”
• “If I talk about sex and sexuality in a way that is calm and confident, I am going to signal to my daughter that she is never going to be shamed for asking questions, and that she is not going to cause me to curl up into embarrassment and fear.
• “I worked as a campus minister with college students for a long time. I kept asking the kids who grew up in Christian households and came to university and who were strong in the faith, ‘Why did you not get inoculated to the gospel? How did this become real to you?’ The number one answer I heard over and over and over again was, ‘It was real for my parents. As in, when they did something wrong, they asked for forgiveness.’”**

| QOTW | 

What generation do you actually belong to and which one should you belong to?

| Next Steps |

• Snag Rachel’s book here
• See her site here: https://www.rachelgilson.com
• We talked with Rachel about temptation on the show here
• We talked with Rachel about friendship here
• We mentioned thinking through school systems with a certain lens. This is the episode Laurie was referring to.

It’s so important. But…what is it?

Today, author and pastor Eun (EK) Strawser helps understand what discipleship is as well as:

--How can we become a community that centers discipleship?

--How can we know if we are doing it “right”?

--How does parenting relate to discipleship?

| Highlights |

• “Discipleship means to imitate Jesus within the context of a community for the renewal of the local place around you.”
• “If discipleship is centered within a community, then that also means within a family.”
• “The discipleship of deficiency develops because people self-disqualify themselves all of the time. Jesus set out and said, ‘Every one of you who are making an intentional decision to imitate me within the context of community, you are a disciple maker. Go and make more.’ If that’s the call, then that should not be a leadership call. Making disciples should not be a criteria for leaders. It should be a baseline criteria for every congregant.”

| QOTW |

What do you need to prepare for winter?

| Next Steps |

• Eun’s book here
• Her IG here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here. 

Today, we are joined again by psychologist and author Dan Allender to talk about the most important part of parenting: Your marriage. 

(If you are a single mom or dad, we bless you and intersperse much of the conversation with relating the conversation to close friendships.)

For those of us who are married, why is that the most important part of marriage? Dan tells us well: 

“Our children are given the gift of watching the reality of love and life brokenness and beauty being played out in the theater of our marriage,” he says. “They are in the audience watching closely—far more closely than we presume. If our marriage doesn’t have the ability to actually name brokenness but also glory in one another, our children are going to be hungry souls looking for what they were made for.”

Okay, Dan. Help us out, friend. How can we lean in without setting the bar too high or low?

This episode is one we will be going back to again and again.

| Highlights |

• “The process of growing in maturity is a family affair.” —Dan Allender
• “You can communicate well in marriage when you learn to suffer on behalf of the other.” —Dan Allender
• “My story needs to be known by my spouse well enough and deep enough to be able to engage it. Eventually, our kids need to know our stories. Each and every detail? No. Age appropriate.” —Dan Allender

| QOTW |

What is your go-to birthday dinner?

| Next Steps |

• Talking with us about “Sexuality and Shame” here.
• We also talked with Dan and Cathy Loerzal about “Which of the Six Types are You?”  here.
• Check out Dan’s sites here and here.
• Snag his latest marriage book here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

We toss around: 

“What parts of ‘the sex talk’ were helpful for us when we were growing up?”

“How can we protect our kids’ bodies without being a helicopter parent?”

“How can we approach school systems that don’t agree with our beliefs?”

“Should we talk to our kids about p*rn even if they don’t have unlimited access to the internet?”

Pull up an earbud and join us!

| Highlights |

• “My parents taught me, ‘You are not defined by your behavior by your sin. It does not identify you or define you.’ That was very helpful in critical moments.”—Steve O’Dell
• “One of the biggest indicators for how well people will recover from trauma is if they know they have a place they can come in the event that something does happen.”—Matt Krieg
• “If our kids are going to hear an unbiblical worldview of marriage and sexuality in their schools, they need to hear the gospel vision of marriage and sexuality in our homes ten times more.” —Laurie Krieg

| QOTW |

Do you have a word, a focus, or theme for the year?

| Next Steps |

• Jay Stringer’s book we cited
• Julia Sadusky’s book
• My friend, Phylicia Masonheimer who talks a lot about parenting from the home here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Author and pastor Bryan Loritts joins us today to discuss:

• Are friendships seasonal? (Should they be?)
• How can we make and keep lifelong friends?
• How should we think about boundaries with friends?

| Highlights |

• “The reason so many of our relationships are superficial is we are too scared of taking the time and the risk to walk in truth with each other.” 
• “There is a place to draw boundaries. I am just cautious against that being our reflex reaction the first time someone does something to us.”
• “Many people confuse transparency with authenticity. We have to be authentic with everyone but transparent with few.”
• “We are so busy so we don’t make time and margin for the longing of our souls for friends.”

| QOTW |

What is your go-to quotable movie?

| Next Steps |

His site

His book

His IG

Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.

Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Dr. Abigail Favale wrote Laurie’s favorite book on gender this year called “The Genesis of Gender,” and the conversation about it is—*chef’s kiss*—rich and practical.

Together, they talk about:

• —Is sexual difference an afterthought of the Bible?
• How can we define woman and man?
• Is the fact that intersex people exist the proverbial “trump card” for more than two sexes?
• How can people walk alongside those they love who wrestle with gender? (And what if we wrestle ourselves?)

| Highlights |

• “The gender-affirming medical model presents itself as a quick fix. It is concrete. ‘I now have a very concrete, step-by-step process that I can follow that will speak to this misery I am undergoing.’ That is a very compelling narrative, so I have nothing but compassion for people who go down this road to try to manage their suffering. I have less compassion for people in authority who should know better.” —Abigail Favale
• “Yes, boys can play with these toys, but they are still boys because of the kind of bodies they are…You  have a body where you could grow up and be a daddy one day.” And: “You have a body that could grow up and be a mommy one day.” —Abigail Favale
• “There was never a time where the medical establishment said, ‘The cure for anorexia is liposuction or to affirm young women’s views of themselves…’ Now we have adults in authority telling distressed young women [who wrestle with gender], ‘You are right about how you feel about your body, and let me help you to radically change it.’” —Abigail Favale

| QOTW | 

What is the best pickle? (Oh, my word…Matt writes a haiku against pickles hahaha)

| Next Steps |

• Abigail’s new memoir here.
• Her gender book here.
• Her Twitter: Twitter/X @FavaleAbs
• Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

In the midst of divisive ... everything… in the world today, it reminded us about what really matters: JESUS. THE GOSPEL. And that sharing Jesus (evangelism) is an absolute joy when you love Him.

Theologian, author, and our friend, David Bennett, is the one who reminds us of our first love (Jesus), and also helps us think through:

• —Why should we tell people about Jesus?
• How can we make it less awkward?
• Should it feel natural to us?
• What if people respond poorly? 

| Highlights |

• “If I was married, I would tell people how amazing my spouse is all the time because I like to share good things with people. If you’re in love with Someone, you talk about them. That’s my favorite form of evangelism.” —David Bennett
• “Why do I love evangelism? Because I get to see God—Jesus—born in someone. There is nothing better than that in the world.” —David Bennett
• “When you realize, ‘I ain’t got nothing’—that’s when you’re the best evangelist. Because I don’t have anything. Even with all my degrees, who cares? What matters is that Jesus died and rose again and he’s awesome and there’s nothing better in life and people need that and are perishing and it’s urgent.” —David Bennett

| QOTW |

What was your youth group name if you had one—or what would you name it now?

| Next Steps |

David joined us twice before. Listen here and here. 

David’s site here.

David’s IG here. 

Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.

Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Granted, we would love it if you read the book and “discussed” it alongside us on the pod, but if you’re anything like most of the world, you’d love to hear a summary of the book, any major nuggets, a little discussion, and call it a day.

That’s what we are starting today!

The book of focus is Jonathan Haidt’s instant NYTimes best seller, The Anxious Generation. It’s globally shaking up families, school systems, and even legislation around phones and screen times for the Gen Z—and we believe it’s shaking it in a good way.

How?

It names some of the problems for the massive anxiety and depression outbreak among Gen Z and it offers some solutions.

What are they? You’re going to have to listen in—but you don’t have to read the book.

| Highlights |

• “I see the mindsets in p*rnography as in social media: They can be a means to control negative emotions, they can foster passivity to your real life, you can consume the image of another person, and you are always seeking novelty. The more we live out of these mindsets in social media, the easier it is to jump over to the more overtly negative ones like p*rn.” —Matt Krieg
• “If I was to summarize Haidt's thesis statement it would be: Parents, over-protect online, and under-protect in real life when it comes to real life, outdoor play with trusted friends.” —Laurie Krieg
• “I think that the ironic thing about this is that what we have been told the intent of mobile technology is that it is a point of connection, but the evidence is showing that it is creating this weird isolation. It is an ironic result.” —Steve O’Dell

| Next Steps |

• Find Haidt’s book here.
• Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

Ya know, the older we get, the more we realize just how important our theology of suffering is when we are … well, suffering.

As Kelly Kapic said in today’s episode, “You don’t realize how flimsy your theology of suffering is until you use it as a resource to live on.” 

For example, if we think suffering should be escaped, *when* we suffer we will try to outrun it. (Which is hard to do if we are enduring physical pain.)

If we think suffering should be embraced, *when* we suffer we might try to make it our identity.

Let’s get a proper theology of suffering with someone who isn’t just a theologian of suffering but someone who knows it personally: Author Kelly Kapic. Together, we talk about:

How can we suffer with high hope and high lament?

How can we deal with our chronic pain of the soul or body?

What is up with the book of Job? Is God a bully or kind?

How can we pivot our hearts to suffer well now or in the future?

| Highlights |

• “You don’t realize how flimsy your theology of suffering is until you use it as a resource to live on. It’s like trying to exist on saltine crackers, and you think, ’No, I need some real nourishment here.’” —Kelly Kapic
• “How we respond to suffering really does betray a lot of our view of God.” —Kelly Kapic
• “The unsettling thing about Job is that God never answers Job’s questions. He doesn’t. The answer to Job’s question is that God shows up.” —Kelly Kapic

| QOTW |

Space or ocean? Which is better?

| Next Steps |

• Find Kelly’s book here.
• Find Kelly’s articles on TGC here.
• Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

But God was already drawing Kat to Himself, and He tapped me on the shoulder to join the process.

Hear the whole discipleship journey between us today on the podcast.

| Highlights |

• “I would be doing absolutely nothing and I would feel this conviction … This fear of ‘Am I making the right choice? Am I rejecting The One?’” —Kat LaPrairie
• “This is going to be difficult, it is not solved, my life is still a mess, but this is the first choice in a series of choices that is going to make a difference.” —Kat LaPrairie
• “Now, when I notice that temptation for a relationship or when gender dysphoria really ramps up, I know that it is signifying something deeper going on inside of me. “ —Kat LaPrairie

| QOTW | 

Mullets: Yes or no? ;)

| Next Step Resources |

Listen to Kat’s first conversation with us

Find Kat on IG here.

Find Journey Well here.

Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here.

Join the HIMH Pod FB group here.

Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active) here.

We need help. How can we get the help we need for our addictions at a soul-deep level? Author and therapist Sam Jolman is here to assist.

Together, we discuss:

• —Is male sexuality just extra broken or what? 
• —How can we (as men and women) process our first encounter with p*rnography?
• —How can we as parents help ready our kids for a porn-pervasive world?
• —What can we do if we are caught in an addiction cycle? Is there anything to do other than accountability programs?

| Highlights | 

• “Evil hates your sexuality. Evil hates the sexuality of your children. It does not want you to be alive and well in your sexuality; nor does it want that for your children, because our sexuality mirrors so much of our hearts as lovers and worshippers of God.” —Sam Jolman
• “Most men’s story of being introduced to pornography is a story of harm.” —Sam Jolman
• “[Pornography introduction to kids is a story of harm because…] you have no capacity to know what is coming… You have no capacity to consent. You’re a kid! Even if you ‘knew’ what it was, you really have no idea what this pornography world is. When somebody introduces it to you, often there is an invitation—sometimes out of that person’s arousal or desire to sexualize you… But to suddenly have such material, and to have your body awakened to something but without a category for what you are experiencing—that is a violation.” —Sam Jolman
• “Even in our worst sin we cannot eradicate the glory of God in us.” —Sam Jolman

|Next Step Resources|

• Good pictures and bad pictures: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Pictures-Bad-Porn-Proofing-Todays/dp/0997318732
• Sam’s book: https://www.samjolman.com/the-sex-talk-you-never-got-book/#buynow
• Sam’s site:https://www.samjolman.com/
• Sam’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/samjolman/?hl=en
• Connect to O’Neill Asset Management: https://www.oneillassetmanagement.com
• Join the HIMH Pod FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast
• Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active): https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/

If that’s true, why does weakness feel so terrible?

Today, we talk with author, podcaster, and pastor, Eric Schumacher about “the good gift of weakness,” why many of us don’t like it, and why it is the best place to thrive as a human being.

We also discuss:

• —How did Eric’s “failing at ministry” help him to recover his life?
• —Is weakness found in creation and in the new heavens and new earth, not just in the sinful world?
• —What if we are tired of being weak?

| Highlights | 

“Is there a place in the Kingdom for someone as weak as me?”

“This is the good news for the Christian: Jesus became weaker than we will ever be because He was dead under God’s curse, and we will never be that weak because He was.”

“Paul knew Jesus was the kind of man who would invite his disciples to see him trembling and sorrowful to the point of death in the garden of Gethsemane. Part of imitating that Savior is putting your own weakness on display for all to see.”

| Next Step Resources | 

Eric’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Good-Gift-Weakness-Strength-Redemption/dp/0736988661

Eric’s site: https://emschumacher.com/about-eric/

Eric’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/emschumacher

Connect to O’Neill Asset Management: https://www.oneillassetmanagement.com

Join the HIMH Pod FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/himhpodcast

Follow Laurie on IG (where she is the most active):https://www.instagram.com/laurie_krieg/

When it comes to engaging politics, we need people to help us think about politics biblically first.

If you’re like us, you’re all done with politics…yesterday. 

And yet, we cannot escape it. Is there a way to engage it without losing our minds (and faith)?

Theologian, author, podcaster, and friend of the podcast, Preston Sprinkle, is just the expert we need to help us think about politics biblically.

We discuss:

• How can we vote with a Kingdom of God mindset?
• What is the Kingdom of God anyway?
• You talk about “exiles” and “Babylon,” and I hear that language in the Bible, but how does that apply today?
• If we are primarily citizens of the Kingdom of God, does that mean we should never take an active role in political things?

| Highlights |

• “The day after the election, your kingdom mission is exactly the same, and the power you have to fulfill that kingdom mission is exactly the same. The values you are to embody are exactly the same.”
• “Our primary citizenship is as a member of Christ’s global, multiethnic kingdom that has been dispersed among the nations.”
• “Our allegiance to King Jesus should throw a heavy shadow on all the things that these earthly kingdoms are doing.” 

| QOTW |

What game are you secretly good at? (You guys make us laugh!)

| Next Step Resources |

Read Preston’s ‘Exiles’ book here

Read the Bible he edited here 

Connect to O’Neill Asset Management here 

Join the HIMH Pod FB group here

Follow Laurie on IG here (where she is the most active)

Author, teacher, and child-of-a-one-time angry father, Lisa Jo Baker, takes us by the hand and guides us to take the tiniest look back so we can move forward into healing.

| Main Themes |

• Why do we avoid going back into our stories?
• Why do we need to? (Do we need to?)
• How can you write a book about the most painful places in our lives?
• What if those we love don’t want to or can’t reconcile?

| Highlights | 

“A thought dropped into my head, ‘You need to speak about what it was like to be the child of an angry parent.’” 

“By the time I finished writing the chapter, I would feel this profound sense of, ‘Oh, He did it again!’ Jesus went back, picked apart these terrible places in my life, and brought healing.”

“If you take anything from my story, it’s this: it wasn’t me, I didn’t do it. It wasn’t my dad. He didn’t do it. It was Jesus and his grace and mercy he orchestrated the entire thing simply because I was willing to look.”

| About the Guest |

With a BA in English/prelaw from Gordon College and a JD from the University of Notre Dame Law School, Lisa-Jo has lived and worked on three continents in the human rights field and subsequently spent nearly a decade leading the online community of women called (in)courage as their editor in chief and community manager. She’s the co-host of the Out of the Ordinary podcast. Originally from South Africa, Lisa-Jo now lives just outside Washington, D.C., where she met and fell in love with her husband in the summer of ’96. Their story together spans decades, languages, countries, books, three very opinionated children, and one dog, and is written in Lisa-Jo’s latest book, It Wasn’t Roaring, It Was Weeping.

| Next Steps |

• Lisa’s book
• Her IG
• Her site
• Thanks to O’Neill Asset Management!
• Join the HIMH Podcast FB Page!

Add the fact that it is up to us parents and mentors to teach these kids facts and wisdom about sexuality and body safety, and you can just find us in a panic attack on the floor every-other day of the week.

But what if we didn’t have to? What if we could learn how to wisely lead them in the midst of this wild world?

Today, psychologist and author Julia Sadusky helps us to do just that. Together we discuss:

• Why is avoiding conversations about bodies and sex lead to a lack of safety for our kids?

• What is the difference between sharing sexualized content with kids and talking about sexuality with kids?

• How do we non-anxiously but wisely engage body-exploration that kids naturally do?

• What are family rules and why might I consider having them? 

• What if we already feel like we failed as parents and mentors of young kids? How can we recover missed years?

| Highlights |

• “What is beautiful about parenthood is you get to be this imperfect representation to the world and to your kids of what we do when we fall short of the glory of God.” —Julia Sadusky
• “You will either be the first to have the sexuality conversations or the last.” —Julia Sadusky
• “What we know from know from research on childhood sexual abuse that the number one thing that protects children and makes it less likely for them to experience sexual abuse in childhood is for them to know the accurate terminology of their private parts. When I learned that it blew my mind and it made me think to myself: If we could get all Christians on the same page that we are going to do this, sexual abuse in childhood in our generations can go down markedly.” —Julia Sadusky
• “Young people are naturally curious about everything… We want to scaffold and support that learning. But without guidance from the primary people in their corner, young people will go elsewhere.” —Julia Sadusky

| QOTW |

Are you an ice or no-ice person? And what shape does it need to take? (Square, round, or perhaps Death Star shaped??)

| Do the Next Thing |

• Julia’s book, Start Talking to Your Kids About Sex 
• Julia’s IG: instagram.com/drjuliasadusky
• Julia’s site: juliasadusky.com
• Join the HIMH FB group here
• Follow Laurie (where she is talking about things like this often) here: instagram.com/laurie_krieg
• Email us your questions here
• Watch the episode here 

• Here are the ones we respond to today!
• How do you know when or if you need to move on from a therapist?
• How can we walk with people experiencing unwanted sexual desires?
• How do I recover my soul from burnout?
• How do I talk with my kids about a family member who is transitioning?
• How do I know if a temptation is spiritual attack or fruit from my sinful nature?

| Highlights |

• “Our kids do not have to be fed rage and othering in order to cultivate a heart that is both passionate for truth and grieves over sin.” —Laurie Krieg
• “If you are working harder than those you are caring for—that is a recipe for burnout.” —Matt Krieg
• “People who transition from male to female are never going to actually be a woman. But can we know that, and maybe even say that, but can we speak it from a heart that is tender and compassionate while empathetically thinking, ‘Man, doesn’t it stink that idols don’t work?’”—Laurie Krieg

| Do the Next Thing |

• We mention Journey Well here or here
• We talk about Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted here
• Join the HIMH FB group here
• Follow Laurie (where she is talking about things like this often) here
• Email us your questions or to find out more about sponsorship here
• Watch the episode here 

To continue the conversation, we talk with Elizabeth Delgado Black who is an evangelist and the co-founder and president of Kaleidoscope. Together, we talk about practical ways to love LGBTQ people like Jesus as well as: 

• Can we talk a little bit about language? Why use LGBTQ language at all?
• How do LGBTQ people in New York City seem to view Christians generally? Why?
• How does Elizabeth’s nonprofit seek to love LGBTQ people into the Kingdom of God?
• What contextual ways does she care for her community?
• What fruit is she seeing from what she and her team do?

| Highlights |

• “You don't have to invent something on your own. Some of the most powerful work that we do is with other organizations because they do not expect that a Christian is going to want anything to do with them.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black
• “I’m doing missional work, but people are not a mission.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black
• “How can we share the good news of Christ if we see certain people as completely other and unworthy? Then whatever we share is no longer good news.” —Elizabeth Delgado Black

| QOTW |

What is your most *you* music? (Ya’ll are too funny…)

| Do the Next Thing |

• Find out about Kaleidoscope here
• Follow them on IG here
• Join the HIMH FB group here
• Find Laurie and Matt on IG here
• Email us here
• Watch the video here

Are we so sure about that?

At least two ministries in the U.S. are regularly going to Pride festivals in their areas, and they are seeing people come to know Jesus because of their presence, preaching, and practical love of neighbor.

This week, we interview a street evangelist who has been going to Grand Rapids, Michigan’s Pride Festival for the last five years. We ask:

• Why does he go?
• What heart does he have when he goes?
• What pushback does he receive?
• What fruit does he see from his going?
• What can we learn from his work?

You’re not going to want to miss these episodes.

| Highlights |

• “We are either open and affirming or we are openly condemning, but in the middle ground is the gospel.” —Stephen Nylen
• “They will not know if I do not go. So I have to go. But if you’re going to preach and your feet aren’t beautiful (Westboro Baptist, legalists, moralists, open and affirming, or openly condemning) then you’re not preaching the right gospel.” —Stephen Nylen
• “If you’re a firefighter and you see a fire, then your calling is to go. And so I go.” —Stephen Nylen

| QOTW |

What do you always need instructions for? (Making rice, Mac and cheese, or using a lawnmower?)

| Do the Next Thing |

• Find everything about Stephen’s work here
• Or on his FB here
• Or here
• His minidoc on the ministry here
• And his two-minute gospel presentation here
• Join the HIMH FB group here
• Follow Laurie on IG here
• Email us with thoughts or questions at podcast@lauriekrieg.com
• Watch the episode here

It just feels like suffering.

However, author and major stroke survivor, Katherine Wolf, has a message for us: God has gems for us to find in the darkness. “If you have to go through hardship, why not get the treasure? My goodness, don’t waste the pain,” she says.

What else do we talk about?

• What exactly are these “treasures” anyway?
• How should we respond to our friends’ immediate suffering?
• What if we are in a major depressive season? Is there hope for us? 
• What if we don’t think our struggles are worth even naming as “suffering”? 
• What steps can we take in the midst of a hard season to find hope?

// Highlights:

• “Before we can ever accept the circumstances of our life, we have to go through the process of grieving the life we thought we should have had.” --Katherine Wolf
• “The gift we can give one another as the body of Christ is to sprint toward one another’s pain and suffering.” --Katherine Wolf
• “We need to remember that we are called and assigned to our stories.” --Katherine Wolf
• “What saved my life was the logic of it all: If I should have died, I would have died. I did not die, therefore God has purpose in my being in this body and on this planet in this moment.” --Katherine Wolf
• “We need less people telling you what to think in the pain and more just being with you in the pain.” --Katherine Wolf

// Question of the Week:

What two random things are in your junk drawer right now? 

// Do the Next Thing:

• Katherine’s amazing new devotional/reflection book? Find it here
• Follow Katherine on IG here
• Join the HIMH FB group here
• Follow Laurie on IG here
• Email us with thoughts or questions at podcast@lauriekrieg.com
• Watch it here

But, how is that possible? The world can feel so defeating:

Politics, racial division, pastor scandals, congregant sin, and the drudgery of faithfully trying to do this thing called advancing the Kingdom of God wherever we are called can overwhelm anyone. How can we both experience grief, discouragement, or mourning, and allow it to propel us further into the heart of God?

Author and pastor of one of the fastest growing churches in America, Derwin Gray, preaches exactly the answer and exactly what weary souls needed to hear today.

// Highlights:

• “When I find my heart becoming cynical I know that I have stepped out of grace and into self righteousness.” —Derwin Gray
• “I’m finding encouragement because that tomb in Jerusalem is still empty.” —Derwin Gray
• “We need more local pastors not teaching moralism, sin management, left-leaning secular ideologies or Pharisaical rightism. We need them to preach the gospel-centered, beautiful, bloody resurrection power of Jesus.” —Derwin Gray

// QOTW:

What is your favorite sign of spring?

// Do the Next Thing:

• Watch the video here!
• Find all of Derwin’s work here
• Join the HIMH Podcast here
• Keep up with Laurie and the HIMH Podcast on IG here

Since having the conversation, I (Laurie) can’t stop seeing the people-as-trees metaphor everywhere.

How? You’re just going to have to listen to find out. :)  

// Highlights:

• “We all have the seasons in life. We can’t expect the same things of ourselves in every single season. When we don’t experience seasons that are fruitful or blooming, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with us, it can just mean we are in a different season.” —Joy Marie Clarkson
• “You can’t have buds and the blooms [on a tree] without ... the old leaves dying.” —Joy Marie Clarkson
• “I had cleared the land of my life of all the things that seemed ‘pointless’ … In doing that, I made the field of my life infertile and barren. ” —Joy Marie Clarkson

// Question of the Week:

What do you accidentally buy too much of at the grocery store? (You have grocery-nesia?)

// Do the Next Thing:

• Find Joy on IG here
• On Twitter here
• On FB here
• On her Substack here
• Her podcast here
• Join the conversation at the HIMH FB Pod Page here!
• Watch the episode here

(You might have seen glimpses of it if you watched the documentary, ‘Shiny Happy People.’)

Even after leaving, Christy internally battled the legalism that attached itself to her knowledge of the real Jesus. How did she break free—not only physically, but mentally and spiritually?

We also explore:

• What is the difference between authority and authoritarianism?
• How can you tell if you’re in a legalistic system?
• Why would someone be drawn to such a structure?
• How can we break free from either a direct cult like Christy experienced, or simple (but unbiblical) legalism?

// Highlights:

• “Legalism and behavior-driven stuff (feeling like you have to perform for God) holds on tight. Even after getting out [of the cult] and going to college (I was wearing pants, I had shorter hair, and I looked way more normal than I used to look), I was still very much stuck in this idea that God didn’t like me if I wasn’t performing correctly.” —Christy Lynne Wood
• “The most damaging part of this cult was the idea of who God was: He was angry, he wanted certain behaviors and activities, and he was going to judge you and condemn you if you didn’t follow these rules and behaviors.” —Christy Lynne Wood
• “God wants us to be reconciled to the real Jesus, not to some fake god who is crushing us under his thumb… And, He wants this more than we do.” —Christy Lynne Wood

// Question of the Week:

Do you have grocery-nesia? Do you go to the store and think you *definitely* need something, but get home only to discover you already have four? We want to hear about it.

// Do the Next Thing:

• Watch the episode here!
• You can read Christy’s blog and more here
• You can find Christy’s book, Religious Rebels, here
• We talk about understanding the genre, etc. of the Bible. This book may be a help
• Christy mentioned A Matter of Basic Principles book found here
• You can find the Diane Langberg book we talked about that explored authority, Redeeming Power, here
• Join the HIMH Podcast FB group here

How does one woman go from a childhood of following Jesus as much as she knows how, to professional hockey, to same-sex relationships, to transitioning to male for six years, to finding the real Jesus, and then to de-transitioning in the midst of a loving church community?

This episode has her story.

Hear a testimony and take part in a conversation on how to walk well with people who wrestle with gender today on the podcast.

// Highlights:

• “I was crying out to God on the bedroom floor, and I heard him say, ‘Kyla. Return to me.’ And I was like, ‘What do you mean, return to you? Can’t I follow you and be Brycen?’ I heard him very clearly say to me, ‘No.’ I was weeping: ‘I don’t know what this looks like. Can I ever be female again?’ And he said to me, ‘Do you trust me and are you willing?’ And I cried out in that moment, ‘Yes!’” --Kyla Gillespie
• “Do we think we are powerful enough in ourselves to change and will somebody to love Jesus? Or do we believe in the power of the Holy Spirit who saves and changes people? That’s what [the people who discipled me] did. They called me to this gospel, but they loved me in the mess.” --Kyla Gillespie
• “It’s always different when we have face-to-face relationships. Suddenly all those things we did and said on the internet turn into, ‘Oh, maybe that wasn’t so kind or so nice or so gentle. Maybe I didn’t love you the way I’m commanded to love you.’” --Kyla Gillespie

// Question of the Week:

What was your favorite childhood cereal?

// Do the Next Thing:

• Find Kyla’s ministry here
• Search her on IG here
• Join the HIMH Podcast Group here
• Watch the episode here

Maybe you’re not in crisis mode, but it’s kinda just . . . meh?

It’s easy to function; to sit on opposite couches and scroll on your phone. But, do you wonder if marriage could be better than that—not with some fantastical potion or even a weekend intensive per se, but what if it began with small, simple movements of risk toward one another?

Today, marriage experts Tracy Johnson and Chris Bruno guide those of us who feel “in a rut” toward a gentle path of hope.

How? 

Grab a coffee drink you’ve never ordered before (you’ll get this reference after you listen ;)), and pull up an earbud.

(Oh, and single friends? Thanks for listening and being a friend to us as we figure out this heavenly metaphor as you figure out yours. (See episode 213 for more on this.))

// Highlights:

• “In the last couple of years we have seen couples move into a devolution of trust. People have stepped away from a posture of generosity toward their spouses into a posture of protection.” —Chris Bruno 
• “What I have found with the couples that we are working with is . . . they are profoundly disconnected and incredibly lonely. The surgeon general’s report that came out in May that the greatest mental health crisis we are facing as a country is actually tied to loneliness, and we are seeing the manifestation of that in the couples that are coming to us. They say, ‘I’m so lonely. How can I be so lonely in this marriage?’ . . . but without the tools to bridge that disconnection.” —Tracy Johnson
• “We live in a broken world where we assume, ‘If I risk, I will be missed.’ But what if we begin to build some trust so that we think, ‘If I risk, what if I am seen’?” —Chris Bruno

// QOTW:

What is *in* for you for 2024, and what is *out*?

// Do the Next Thing:

• Find Tracy and Chris’ work here
• That year of good dates?? Here
• Chris and Tracy's ReStory Counseling here
• Thrive YouTube? Here
• Matt and Laurie’s fave marriage book? Here
• Laurie and Matt’s marriage book? Here
• Join the HIMH Pod FB page here! 
• Watch it here

People talk about how marriage gives us a vision of eternity in how two different people seeking union shows the world a picture of how God (who is so different from us) will be one with His church. But, how does singleness show us a picture of what we will experience in the new heavens and new earth?

Author and ministry leader, Dani Treweek, is here to tell us how.

// Highlights:

• “I have become absolutely convinced that singleness is not just the absence of something good, but it is the presence of something good.”  —Dani Treweek
• “The industrial revolution…took the household and made it the privatized refuge from the dirty dark world of work outside. That meant that the relationships in the household became much more based on emotion and intimate ties, and the household became much more insular…. That had an impact on singleness because suddenly, singleness became the absence of those things. Singleness didn’t have a place in the household, but adjacent to it.” —Dani Treweek
• “We see in Scripture like 1 Corinthians 7 Paul saying, ‘Singleness is good. Marriage is good. Get on and live for Jesus, guys.’ Throughout all of church history we have struggled to hold that equilibrium.”  —Dani Treweek
• “Marriage and singleness are not in competition with each other. They complement each other. They need each other to make sense of each other in the church, and to make sense of who we are as the church.”  —Dani Treweek
• “We are going to be our most perfectly human selves in the next age—perfectly known and knowing perfectly, perfectly loved and loving perfectly—and we are going to do that as men and women with bodies but who are not married to each other and who are not having sex with each other. That actually says that we don’t need to be married and sexually active in our lives here and now in this creation in order to be fully human.”  —Dani Treweek

// Do the Next Thing:

• Find Dani’s work (and book!) here
• You can follower her Substack here
• You can find her ministry is here
• Join our HIMH Podcast FB Page here
• Watch the episode here

HOWEVER, the conversation mostly revolves around…

• What did we learn in 2023?

• Based on what we learned, how do we want to engage 2024 with more wisdom?

• What simple tool did and are we using (and you can use, too) to plan the year?

Grab the last of the egg nog, and let’s hang out!

// Highlights:

• “There were times throughout this year that God felt really distant. But in that, I found myself longing for His presence.”—Steve

• “I started to find that the gym is the place I can tend to myself. I am not working with clients. I am not getting not getting milk for the kids. I am just there. No headphones on. In silence, lifting weights.” —Matt

• “The default of life is to chase fires and try to put them out. That’s how we were living and that’s how we can mostly live. I don’t want to do that all of the time . . . It’s hard to play and laugh.” —Laurie

// Question of the Week:

There is no question of the week officially, but we DO want to know: Do Laurie and Steve look alike? :D

// Do the Next Thing:

• The list of Core Needs can be found here with the 2024 printable

• That Core Needs Series? Here

• The Gardens series? Here

• Our Impossible Marriage book? Here

• Watch the podcast video here

Thank the Lord we brought in our friend and wellness expert, Bonnie Gray, to help us learn how to approach this and every season not with another way to perfectly-imperfectly self-care your way into health and wholeness, but to sink deeply into the love of Jesus.

We also discuss:

• Are people either helpers or those who are helped?
• What does the left brain/right brain have to do with this conversation?
• How can soul care be more than taking a bath or vegging out on our favorite TV show?
• What simple practices can we begin today to calm anxiety?

• “Being lonely, stressed, sad, or anxious doesn’t mean we are not strong. It just means we need to be loved.” —Bonnie Gray
• “We try to feel better by thinking our way out of stress, but we need to nurture our way to relieve stress.” —Bonnie Gray
• “Research shows that taking a ten minute walk outside lowers cortisol and releases the happy hormone serotonin more than 45 minutes working out at the gym.”—Bonnie Gray

What is your go-to TV genre?

• That soul care quiz? Here
• Her book? Here
• Our HIMH Pod FB Group? Here
• Contact us? https://www.youtube.com/@wcsgradio

It could put language to some things some of us have been holding onto for too long. How? Author and scholar Zach Wagner, author of ‘Non-Toxic Masculinity,’ unpacks:

• What is toxic masculinity?
• How does it relate to Purity Culture?
• How did Purity Culture affect both men and women?
• How can men and women approach each other with a gospel lens instead of a sexual-threat lens?
• How do we process the science (or is it even science?) that men are more visual than women?
• How can men (and women) heal from what was taught?

If you wonder if you have been affected by Purity Culture in any way, this episode may be for you.

// Highlights: 

• “It is not male to be sexual. It is human to be sexual.” —Zachary Wagner
• “Purity culture was overly formulaic in its thinking about human sexuality and relationships. It’s just ‘Do this, do this, and do this, and you’ll get a good result.’ But that’s just not how life works in a broken world.” —Zachary Wagner
• “What is toxic masculinity? The way I define it is that it is a way of living out your male embodiment that dehumanizes yourself and/or others.” —Zachary Wagner
• “As well intentioned as these resources were [such as ‘Every Man’s Battle’], I fear that they sometimes created a self-fulfilling prophecy where a toxic version of masculinity from the broader culture (the stereotype that ‘men only think about one thing’) was … baptized and Christianized. It turned into, ‘That is how God made men.’ Not something that men should mature out of.” —Zachary Wagner
• “I don’t think we should be telling young men, ‘Hey, you’re visual. That’s just how it goes!’ You should say, ‘Hey, if you find yourself visually sinning against other people, you need to stop treating them like objects and start treating them like humans.’” —Zachary Wagner

// Question of the Week:

Is there a time of day you seem to always look at the clock? What time is that? Why do you think you look at the clock at that time every day?

// Do the Next Thing:

• Find Zachary’s book here
• You can find all of his work here
• He is also onTwitter/X and Instagram at @ZacharyCWagner
• You can watch the episode here
• Listen to an episode that has views from a women's perspective with Rachel Joy Welcher here 

Pastor Aaron Henning, lead pastor at State College Alliance Church in Pennsylvania, tells us how engaged the topic with a congregation that was and is exactly that makeup.

• How did he do it?
• What did he learn?
• How did fear interplay with his preaching?
• How did it go?

Join us on our third and last in our courageous pastors series to hear how you can encourage yourself or a pastor-friend in engaging this important conversation.

// Highlights:

• “You can easily create a position and then wall off that position. You can say, ‘This is who we are and the rest of the world can go to heck.’ You can do that, but that’s not being on mission.” —Aaron Henning
• “We have smart people in our congregation. I really wanted to be prepared to speak intelligently, and to be able to present views that are defensible and embraceable and make sense: ‘Why do you draw this line here instead of here?’” —Aaron Henning
• “There were a lot of people saying, ‘This is everywhere, it is all around me. I do not feel equipped. I do not know how to have a spiritual conversation, and I definitely don’t know how how to have a missional conversation with somebody who wouldn’t think like me or who isn’t a follower of Jesus.’” —Aaron Henning

// Question of the Week:

What is the best pen to write with? (You guys . . . lol: “I’ve been waiting my whole life for this question.”)

// Do the Next Thing:

• That Barna study? Find it here
• Join the HIMH Podcast FB Group here
• Watch the episode here

Additionally, we explore:

• What is unique about Tom’s West Coast church and their cultural vibe?
• How can pastors cascade the human sexuality conversation to all of their leaders in a realistic way?
• Why did he choose a dialogue over a monologue?
• How did it go? (How many people walked out, and how many were grateful?)
• What would he say to a pastor considering preaching about this topic?

This series has been encouraging us deeply. We pray it is doing the same for you and your community!

// Highlights:

• “Everyone was having this [human sexuality] conversation anyway—in the lunchroom, in the locker rooms, in the car rides on the way to school. This conversation was happening everywhere—except church. I asked myself, ‘What’s happening? What’s going on there?’” —Tom Kang
• “Andy Stanley talks about how the church should be the safest place for any conversation. I remember when I first heard that a few years ago, and I thought, ‘That is so true, but that is so not going on.’” —Tom Kang
• “Everyone is going to walk away somehow offended. You are not going to be liberal enough, and you are not going to be conservative enough. You are not going to be biblical enough, you are not going to be contextual enough. You need to come to terms with that.” —Tom Kang
• “You’re going to have to roll up your sleeves if you’re going to do a sermon like this.” —Tom Kang

// Question of the Week:

What chore in your home is visible to you but invisible to your spouse/housemates? (So you end up doing it and they don’t?) Sorry for all of the fights this sparked @ everyone heh heh... ;)

//Do the Next Thing:

• Listen to Tom’s dialogue-focused sermon series here
• Get a Salt Rifle (for bugs) lol here
• That $7 drain cleaner the guys were freaking out about? Find it here lol
• Watch the episode here!

Today, we are launching a mini-series interviewing three pastors from the South, the West Coast, and the East Coast on how they went from conceptualization of a sermon series on human sexuality to actualization. Why?

In 2019, Barna shared the results of a study that said three of the top four things pastors feel both pressured and limited to speak on are related to human sexuality.

If pastors feel so limited and yet pressured to speak on this, how in the world do they do it? Instead of hypothesizing, we put the microphone in front of three pastors who did it.

First up: A pastor from the U.S. South, Dr. Josh Laxton. We ask him:

• What is unique about his culture (he is from the South but currently preaches in central Florida)?
• What was the conversation like within his church to prompt the sermon series?
• How did he prepare his leadership team?
• What elements were critical to have within the sermon? Why?
• How did it go?

//Highlights:

• “One of the reasons why people inside the church or outside the church have a difficult time digesting what pastors say is how they approach saying it: They don’t approach [challenging topics] with tears.” —Josh Laxton
• “Through the 2000-year history of the church marriage, family, gender and sexuality has always been primary [doctrine] but because of the cultural context was what it was you didn’t even think about it. But now that we are living in this post-Christian, post-Christendom type of culture now we have to clarify: This is what we’ve always believed.” —Josh Laxton
• “I know that the call to pastoral ministry is not only the call to know the power of Jesus’ resurrection, but to participate in his suffering... Part of that suffering is leading through very tough and messy issues and situations.” —Josh Laxton

//Question of the Week:

What is your nickname and how did you get it?

//Do the Next Thing:

• Hear the sermon Josh preached here
• That Barna study? Find it here
• Hear Laurie and Josh’s conversation about his sermon on *his* podcast here
• Find more about Josh here: www.Joshlaxton.com or on his IG: Joshlaxton1
• Join the episode conversation on FB here
• Watch the episode on YouTube here

Parents and disciple-makers of young kids are understandably anxious and wondering;  How can we guide kids in a way that makes them both courageously truthful and loving?

Pastor and author, Sam Allberry, comes back on the show to help us answer discipleship questions based on his new children’s book on marriage, ‘God’s Signpost.’ In addition to questions about teaching kids about marriage, Sam unpacks:

• What are Christians doing poorly when it comes to engaging gender/sexuality/marriage?
• What are we doing well?
• What did Sam need from his Christian community while growing up in order to thrive today?
• How should we talk to a teen (or tween) who wants us to use their preferred pronouns? 
• How should we biblically consider pronoun-usage in our workplaces and places of worship?

//Highlights:

• “If we start with the prohibitions [about marriage]; it’s very hard to make it seem like we are talking about something good.” —Sam Allberry
• “The redefinition of marriage wasn’t when we turned it into a same-sex thing. The redefinition of marriage happened when we turned it from a covenant into a contract.” —Sam Allberry
• “We must ensure that the relational quality of our church life is such that a young person growing up in church does not feel like their happiness rests on their marital status.” —Sam Allberry

//Question of the Week:

What non-word-word do you use often, and what is your definition of it? 

//Do the Next Thing:

• Here is Sam’s new children’s book!
• We mention a Christianity Today article on pronoun usage here
• Annnnd, we were right. We have interviewed Sam two other times. :) Here are the other two episodes:
• Seven ways to navigate a sexually shifting culture here
• What God has to say about our bodies here
• Watch the full episode through WCSG here
• Join the conversation about the episode here!

Today, author, multi-ministry founder, and teacher, Christine Caine, joins us to answer this question as well as: 

• What happened to us in Covid that made us extra afraid of moving forward?
• Why is moving forward not automatically betraying or ignoring our pasts?
• How do we know when it’s time to move on? 
• What if we feel we have to do penance for past sin? How can we move on from that?
• How does cancel culture play a role in this?

//Highlights:

• “Fixating on your past with a desire to go back is very different than facing your past in order to move forward.” --Christine Caine
• “The blood of Jesus does not give us amnesia, but it does give us a life beyond our past.” --Christine Caine
• “Trust what you know about God more than what you don’t know about the future.” --Christine Caine

//Question of the Week:

What are you dumb at? ;) (This was one of our best questions so far IMHO lololol)

//Do the Next Thing:

• Get Christine’s book here
• Listen to our previous episode together, “How Not to Give Up,” here
• Learn more about Propel + Wheaton Master’s here
• Join our HIMH Pod FB Group here

Together, we unpack:

• How do you know when you are ready to share?
• What was Brenna’s most challenging audience to share with?
• What are the benefits and challenges to opening up?

//Highlights:

• “The question I have not always gone to but I need to go to is, ‘Why? Why do I feel I need to share this or want to share this? Is it because I want attention?’… Or is it that I truly feel like God is asking me to share this, and then I need to work out what parts of this story am I supposed to share and in what context?” —Brenna Blain
• “It’s a little bit cliché, but [one of the biggest benefits for me in sharing my story] is getting to be the voice I wish I had heard growing up. I wish so badly I had heard from someone who was same-sex attracted who clung to a biblical sexual ethic. I wish it so badly.” —Brenna Blain
• “Sometimes, I just need to sit and say, ‘Do I believe that God knows what he is doing? Do I believe that he is faithful even if his faithfulness means keeping a door closed to me?’” —Brenna Blain

//Question of the Week:

Are you a pumpkin-spice-everything, can’t-wait-to-put-on-a-sweater person about fall? Or nah? (You guys have a lot of feelings about pumpkin spice and sweaters lolol)

//Do the Next Thing:

• Listen to when Laurie was on Brenna’s podcast here
• Follow Brenna on IG here
• Steve mentions this episode where we talk about our hunger for authentic community here
• Watch the video of this episode here

We are so glad to be back with you all, and are equally glad to engage last season’s identity theme one more time to ensure we take it from the ethereal to the practical. The person here to help us do this is the author of ‘Finding Your Best Identity’ and ministry leader, Andrew Bunt.

Andrew joins the team today to talk about:

• How can we know which parts of us are the true us, and which are not?
• Is sexual identity and gender identity core to who we are?
• How can we engage the world’s mantra of “Listen to your heart” to know who you are?
• How can we engage the world’s other mantra of “Let others define who you are”?

//Highlights:

“Questions of sexuality and gender . . . have become so tied to identity in the cultural context around us that when people hear--that out of faithfulness to Jesus--I am choosing not to have a relationship with another man, people say, ‘Well, isn’t God asking you to deny who you really are?’ It’s seen as so core to identity . . . it’s considered bad news for somebody like me.” —Andrew Bunt

“We are who God says we are. This actually frees us from defining ourselves by what we feel inside or defining ourselves based on the opinions of others.” —Andrew Bunt

“I define identity as ‘our controlling self understanding.’” —Andrew Bunt

“My sexuality describes me. I am attracted to other guys. I am same-sex attracted, gay, whatever language you want to use. I am not denying that. I am not ashamed of that. . . . But that describes part of my experience. It doesn’t define me. What defines me is that I have been adopted by God as his child.” —Andrew Bunt

//Question of the Week:

What was (or is) your favorite school supply? (You guys sure love some Lisa Frank! Lol)

//Do the Next Thing:

• Find Andrew’s book here
• Join the HIMH Podcast FB Group here
• You can watch the episode here

Today, as only the Holy Spirit can do, these first three Shorts episodes link together. So today, we continue our accidental theme of "Spiritual practices that help us to become real" with Steve talking about why we avoid pain.

Additionally, we talk about:

• How can we become people who can walk with others in challenging places?
• What is the cost of not engaging these painful places?
• What is the first step toward feeling these hard parts of our hearts?

We also talk about these lament episodes here

And talk about Healing Care

Join us?

Oh, dear, wise Matt. Today on HIMH Shorts (where we toss around the host table, “How has the gospel been good news for you lately?), Matt brings up his topic of emotional resilience…

• What is it?
• How can we know when it’s time to move on from a negative emotion?
• How can we know if we need to stay in the suffering longer?

We’d love for you to join the conversation.

And after? Feel free to tell us what you think on the FB group here

On IG here

Or email us! podcast@lauriekrieg.com

We may be in-between seasons, but we missed you all so much we wanted to drop three, surprise mini-episodes for the next three Fridays!!

In HIMH Shorts, Matt, Laurie, and Steve will host brief (heh heh, we will try!), one-topic conversations answering, "How has the gospel been good news for you lately?"

This week, Laurie is up! She heard YOUR requests for a walk-through of her Episode 202 practice of The Bookshelves.

• What is that practice?
• Why does she do it?
• How has it impacted her? (And does Matt do it, too? lol)

Kick back, lay back (if you want to do the practice with us), and join the crew as Laurie shares her nightly practice that has been deepening her identity in the love of Jesus.

P.S. Do you like these mini-episodes? Should we keep them up?

Let us know by messaging Laurie on IG (laurie_krieg) or emailing us at podcast@lauriekrieg.com

So, have we? :D

We truthfully answer this question as well as:

• What we do when we feel tempted toward sexual sin or with wanting to buy everything in Pottery Barn?
• How is Laurie’s health? Has it changed?
• How do we engage with believers who are clearly “producing fruit,” but are choosing to walk outside of God’s design for marriage?

//Highlights:

“When it comes to relational conflict, the message I often tell myself is, ‘Resolution is the goal.’ I am learning that transformation is the goal. The issue may not be resolved (or easily resolved), but I am called to stay present in it when all I want to do is make it go away.” —Steve O’Dell

“To have someone who is my friend love me in the midst of wrestling with sexual temptation removes a layer of shame, and makes me feel like, ‘Okay. I’m actually normal. I just want idols instead of God like everyone else.’”—Laurie Krieg

“As much as we look at other people’s hearts, we have to first look at our own.” —Matt Krieg

//Question of the Week:

We want to hear from you all!

Drop a review or let us know what you think of the podcast this season by emailing podcast@lauriekrieg.com or joining the HIMH Podcast FB group!

(Search it, answer a couple of questions, and you will be in!)

//Do the Next Thing:

• We mention this episode with Branson Parler
• We mention this episode with Alison Cook
• And this episode with Toni Collier
• We also talk about our episode with David Bennett here
• To join the podcast conversation, find us here
• Watch the episode on Youtube here
• Thanks for a great season!

• How do you recommend talking with young kids about LGBTQ things/the definition of marriage?
• Should marriage make us happy or holy? (Or is that the wrong question to ask?)
• What qualifies as abuse in a relationship? (How does it compare to misuse of a person?)
• How should we engage with libraries where they prominently display books that are LGBTQIA-affirming (of transitioning or same-sex relationships)?
• What are the pros and cons of coming out/sharing your story? Pull up a chair, and join the dialogue!

//Highlights:

“Matt and my philosophy of parenting is: Here is reality. How can we dole that out in gentle, slow, repetitive conversations at varying levels of age-appropriateness so that when they encounter [same-sex relationships or wrestling with gender] in their schools, churches, or in themselves they are not caught off guard and hide, nor are they caught off guard and jump to Love is Love.” —Laurie Krieg

“My definition of abuse is that it is a systemic maltreatment or dismissal of the dignity of another person verbally, physically, or emotionally.”—Matt Krieg

“You know and I know that everywhere you go there are people … who still make gay jokes a decent amount. If it’s not gay jokes, then it’s ‘*Gasp*! Oh, it’s June! The flag, and the Pride!’ And you’re sitting there, and even though you have zero rainbow flags, you’re not going to Pride, and you’re wrestling with your own heart, you don’t feel safe sharing with them now because they are so exasperated about people like you.”—Laurie Krieg

//Question of the Week:

Where would you like to visit that you have not been? (Thanks for joining the conversation!)

//Do the Next Thing:

A blog Laurie wrote about how to come out/share your story here

Want to share feedback about the season with the hosts?

• Email us: podcast@lauriekrieg.com
• Or, find Laurie on Instagram here
• Watch the podcast here

Author and ministry leader, Toni Collier, helps us to finish the final “I am” in our identity series by exploring “I am healing for…”

What we mean by this is when you’re going through a dark time, have you ever considered the people you will impact if you keep going through the darkness to the light?

What if you gave up? Whom would that affect?

Although we never want to have the core of our healing work be for other people (ideally, that motivation is for God and for ourselves), others are valuable to consider as they can energize our healing journey.

What else do we talk about?

• How did a performance-driven heart drive Toni when she wasn’t following the Lord and when she was?
• What might Toni say to someone really wrestling with depression today?
• How did Toni start caring more about what Jesus thinks than others?

//Highlights:

“The thing that brought me out of my depression and suicidal ideation was people who said, ‘We will be with you in the valleys, but we won’t leave you there.’” —Toni Collier

“Ya know? I just don’t think I care what anyone else thinks but God. I don’t know what happened, something clicked… If I just solely care what He thinks, then through that lens I should treat others with kindness and respect and honor and show up.” —Toni Collier

“When I was able to start saying ‘No’ to people that’s when my ‘Yes’ to Jesus became bigger, more consistent, and more clear.”—Toni Collier

//Question of the Week:

Are you a hot box or a cold box or just right? (Do you run hot, cold, or just right? You guys had a lot of opinions about menopause on this one lol)

//Do the Next Thing:

• Find all of Toni’s work here
• Snag the video here
• Catch all of WCSG’s work here
• Hear our last episode with Toni and her husband, Sam here

Psychologist and author, Dr. Alison Cook, leads us biblically through questions about codependence as well as:

• Is it right or wrong to put others first?
• How can we be both worthy of care yet also “conceived in sin” (Ps. 51:5)
• How can we trust again after being burned by others?
• How does all of this relate to our identity?

Pull up an earbud, friends. This is a great one.

//Highlights

“If I had a word for pastors, I would say: Don’t assume that folks are coming in with a healthy relationship with the self before we ask them to die to it.” —Alison Cook

“We change in the context of care and compassion verses in the context of condemnation and judgement and criticism. That’s just what’s true psychologically… ‘God’s kindness is what leads us to repentance.’ (Rom. 2:4).” —Alison Cook

“In a healthy home there is that balance of, ‘You are so important, you matter, you are worthy, I am here for you, my dear child. And, as a part of that, I want to equip you to go out among other people and from that place of knowing how valuable you are, shine that light of value onto others.’ That’s a very different thing than, ‘Put others first! You don’t matter. It’s more about them!’ That’s not actually true. It’s because I know I matter, and I have experienced what it feels like to matter to God I can come into your life and shine some of that onto you—that you matter just like I matter.”—Alison Cook

“Learning how to trust again after one has been wounded? … ‘I was hurt in the past, I don’t ever want to depend on somebody again.’ To me that’s a cue that we need to repair something in the self. ‘What cues did I ignore? It’s not my fault and there his no shame in that, but I did ignore some cues…How will I do that differently next time?’ … Oh, that’s hard when you have been burned.”—Alison Cook

//Question of the Week:

What healthy food makes you feel sad when you eat it? (Ya'll are funny.)

//Do the Next Thing:

• Watch the podcast here
• Hear Alison with us the last time she was on the podcast talking about how to deal with overwhelming thoughts and emotions here  
• Find Alison’s latest book along with all of her work here

People move, change, or we simply lose touch. What is the secret of friendship making (and keeping)? (Is there one?)

Author and founder of The Friendship Lab, Sheridan Voysey, is back on the podcast today to help us unpack these questions as well as:

• Why is friendship often overlooked?
• Is it true that 1 out of 4 adults in the Western world has no close friends? —What are the four characteristics of a true friend?
• How does knowing we are befriended relate to our identity in Christ? You’re welcome to pull up a seat at the friendly podcast table!

//Highlights:

“We have a huge friendship crisis going on in the Western world right now. Here in the United Kingdom, somewhere between 20 to 25 percent of all British adults…have no close friends. And, 1 in 10 people…have no friends at all. That’s roughly echoed in America…with 30 to 40 percent of [American] people over the age of 35 being chronically lonely… Around 1 in 4 people in Australia have no close friends. So, we have this 25 percent rate floating around the Western world, and 10 percent have no friends at all. I really felt God saying, ‘What if you were to focus on that figure, and bringing it down? What would that take?’ And I thought, ‘My goodness, a book would not scratch that itch.’” —Sheridan Voysey

“This whole stigma around loneliness, stigma around friendlessness—everybody in the world (even if they simply go and move houses) will find themselves lonely for a time and need to make new friends. So, we all go through this, and we need to de-stigmatize it.” —Sheridan Voysey

//Question of the Week:

In what outfit would artist draw your cartoon character? (Because you wear it so often?)

//Do the Next Thing:

• Watch the video here
• Listen to Sheridan’s last episode with us about wrestling through infertility and other life disappointments here
• Learn more about Sheridan’s Friendship Lab
• Read Sheridan’s work here
• Sheridan mentions the book, 'Theology of Play' by Jurgen Moltmann

However, when some of us experience being known, it can be such a jarring experience that we move toward a couple of options: Stoicism (“I’m good without that deep knowing…that’s too uncomfortable…”) or addiction/consumption (“I need that feeling more!”).

What’s the proper response to being known by God and others? With friend of the podcast, Joan Rozeboom, we cover this topic as well as:

• How does Joan, a single foster mom, feel known by God and others?
• What parts of us need to be known and what need to be “put to death” as Paul says in Colossians 3:3-10)?
• How can single people and married people truly know each other like Jesus prays for us to know one another in John 17:21)? Join us?

//Highlights:

“God, I don’t understand how this can be your best for me but you promised you will withhold no good thing from me. So, I am going to reject the lie that God is withholding something good, and I am going to believe that God has a great purpose in this. And I am going to rest in Him even if I never see the good or the purpose this side of eternity.’” —Joan Rozeboom

“The reality is you are left out as a single person a lot--I don’t want to downplay that at all. But when my perspective changed to: How can I serve? Who can I invite in? How can I go up to someone who is new and invite them instead of standing there and saying, ‘Why is no one welcoming me?’ When that perspective changed, that changed everything for me in my interactions in the church.” —Joan Rozeboom

“When we understand how truly known and fully loved by God we really are? We don’t *need* to find these things in other places. It’s nice if someone else knows me, but I don’t *need it* from them because I *have it* from God.” —Joan Rozeboom

//Question of the Week:

Are you a finder or a loser? (Your listener stories are hilarious!)

//Do the Next Thing:

Watch this episode here 

Hit us up with your questions/comments at podcast@lauriekrieg.com

Here are some sample Identity Statements you’re welcome to steal and adapt for yourself!

1. I am loved by God (Jer. 31:3, Mark 5:41)
2. I am made on purpose (Eph. 2:10)
3. I am healing for _________  (Matt. 28:19)
4. I am learning to love all of the parts of me (1 Jn. 4:19-20)
5. I am made perfect because of the cross alone (Heb. 10:14)
6. I am valuable, and proof of my value is in my existence (Ps. 139:16-17)
7. I am about the process not perfection (John 21:15-17)
8. I am redeemed (1 Cor. 6:17)
9. I am safe in God’s hands (Matt. 10:28)
10. I am known by God; He knows my health, my mind, my emotions everything— when no one else does, not even me (Ps. 139:13-18)
11. I am learning to do all to the glory of God (Col. 3:17)
12. I am forgiven (Rom. 5:8)
13. I am nurtured by God; he cares for my every need (Luke 12:6-7)
14. I am loved by a God who is for me (Romans 8:31-34)
15. I am learning to reparent myself with God (1 John 3:1)
16. I am worthy of care because I am imago Dei (Gen. 1:27)
17. I am capable because of His strength in me (Galatians 2:20, 2 Cor. 12:8-9)
18. I am running my own race therefore I never need to envy (Psalm 23, 37, Matthew 6)
19. I am chosen. (Eph. 1:4)
20. I am loved by a God who is in control of all things (Eph. 1:21)
21. I am foolish to put any confidence in my human effort. All I can do is boast about what Christ Jesus has done for me. (Phil. 3:3, 7-11)

Why? How?

We ask these questions and more of our guest, theologian and author, Branson Parler. We also explore…

• What if we feel we are too far gone to be redeemed?
• How does suffering play into this conversation?
• How does all of this help us walk with friends who wrestle with gender?

//Highlights:

“In last couple of years, God said to me, ‘Are you anchored in who I am or in who you are? Will you walk away from your job as a tenured professor of theology at a college to do this new thing I am calling you to that is going to serve the church? … Will you let go of this and walk into any room confident because you are a child of God?’” —Dr. Branson Parler

“A key myth in our world is that we can resolve suffering. ‘There are ways we can *now* get rid of all that.’ Unfortunately, a lot of churches perpetuated this notion: ‘If you just prayed this way you wouldn’t have dysphoria or have this sense that there is no alignment!’ … When I look at the body of Jesus, it is a suffering body. It is a body that goes through cross and resurrection. … [However] I can’t say that to somebody who is wrestling with questions of gender identity if I have not myself asked, ‘How is Jesus calling me to take up my cross?’” —Dr. Branson Parler

//Question of the Week:

What is one joke you don’t forget? (Branson has some real cringe ones for us!)

//Do the Next Thing:

• Find Branson’s ministry here
• Read Branson's book here
• We reference Branson’s other episodes with us.
• Find “How to Talk with the Kids” here
• Find “The Problems with Polyamory” here
• We reference the conversation with Pete Scazerro, too. Find “How to Be Emotionally Healthy” here
• We reference Embodied by Preston Sprinkle. Find it here
• Watch the episode here

Today on the podcast, we are launching a series on identity with the goal to help us know who we are “in Christ” so deeply that we can walk into any room with confidence.

Join us today as we talk about the origin of this series as well as:

• What comes to mind when you think of yourself?
• Why did engaging the sexuality conversation attack Laurie’s identity so deeply?
• What are some of our “templates” or defaults of how we perceive ourselves, and how can we shift them if they are unhealthy and/or sinful?

//Highlights:

“I’ve been doing this conversation for nearly a decade now, and I’m going to be one to push the brakes and not the gas when it comes to anxiety over this thing…. [But] I sense the enemy is trying to attack who we are—our identity. He’s been doing that since Adam and Eve, but there is something extra right now. And instead of roll over and say, ‘Whatever!’  Let’s engage it with grace and truth and courage.” —Laurie Krieg

“I was driving down the Beltline and I was weeping. ‘Okay, try to stay together, I’m driving! I need to be able to see the road.’ I was weeping the whole time, because it was like God saying ‘Don’t you worry my child, I will hold you.’” —Matt Krieg


“If you guys use Microsoft Word [you may know] you can do File—>New—>From Template….  ‘Oh, there is my old template.’ Seeing myself as a shell as a person who is only good for giving to others and doesn’t have worth in and of herself… I can wake up every day and say, “File—>New—>From Template: Worthless. File—>New—>From Template: You have to perform your to get value (or be perfect). What are your templates?” —Laurie Krieg

//Question of the Week:

What do you always say in your "about me" after "I am a child of God, etc..." Or what WOULD you say if you were brave enough. “I am…”

//Do the Next Thing:

• Watch this episode here
• Let us know what you think of the episode or ask us anything by emailing: podcast@lauriekrieg.com
• Continue the conversation by joining the HIMH Podcast Facebook group here

If you’re curious about our views, this is the episode for you!

Today, we answer:

• What is our philosophy of approaching the LGBTQIA conversation?
• Why do we start the sexuality conversation with talking about the purpose of our lives?
• Why do we usually use “LGBTQIA” and not “same-sex attracted”? (But we are willing to use either?)
• How do we view inborn sin vs. internal, created-order goodness?
• How might we encourage you to respond when someone tells you “I am gay?”

//Highlights:

“We need to submit all of these identities to Christ. Whether that is our sexual identity (heterosexual, not straight, LGBTQIA, etc.), or being a mom, or being a white evangelical in America. Am I submitting all of my identities to Christ and letting him sift out the garbage because there is garbage in all of it?” —Laurie Krieg

“If you go into a hyper-conservative situation and you say, ‘I am gay,’ they might be picturing the most extreme stereotype they have that might be very inaccurate to the way you live your life. Vice versa, if you go into a more liberal community or within the LGBTQIA community and you say, ‘I’m same sex attracted,’ that might be a trigger for them to think, ‘Oh, this is an ex-gay narrative, and they think I need to be straight in order to be saved’ (and that’s not what you mean). Therefore, changing the words that you use based on the context helps you to be more understood.” —Matt Krieg

//Question of the Week:

What is your favorite or least favorite word?

//Do the Next Thing:

• To watch this episode visit here
• We mention this episode with Michael Card: 
• We talk about this episode on shame
• Request to join us at the HIMH FB page here
• Email us your questions or thoughts at podcast@lauriekrieg.com
• We mention Core Needs. Here is that list:

• Affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of (Ps. 118:6, 2 Cor. 1:21-22)
• Desired: Specially chosen—no pretense necessary (Is. 41:0, John 15:16)
• Included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership; I belong (Is. 43:1, Eph. 2:19)
• Loved: Unconditionally accepted (Jer. 31:3, Rom. 8:39)
• Nurtured: Cared for; held (Is. 40:28, Matt. 23:37)
• Purposed: Filled with a sense of profoundly mattering (Ps. 57:2, Rom. 8:28)
• Rested: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun (Ex. 23:12, Ps. 127:2)
• Delighted In: Seen as unique and special (Ps. 139:14, 1 Cor. 12:27)
• Protected: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control (Prov. 18:10, Matt. 10:28)
• Noticed: Seen inside and out (Gen. 16:13, Ps. 139:7-8)

Today, we are going to get to know the people behind the microphones. 

Steve shares his story of depression, feeling inauthentic, and finding hope in Jesus in the midst of addiction. Matt offers his journey of depression and subsequent porn addiction in marriage. Laurie shares how she learned to trust Matt again after his deception and addiction, as well as shares her own story of wrestling with attractions to the same sex throughout her entire life.

As always, the team shows the gritty reality and beautiful glory of following Jesus in real life.

**Content/Trigger Warning:  Laurie shares a brief and not graphic reference to her sexual molestation when she was 11.

//Question of the Week:

How would you finish the following… “Nothing gets geriatric [insert your generation] going like… [insert something your generation loves like Coldplay, Polly Pockets, hair bands, or something else that your generation loves!]”

//Highlights:

“God did answer the prayer, but … I was like, ‘It needs to look like this. It needs to happen like this… where I don’t get in trouble. Where I don’t get exposed--and I can maintain my image.’” —Steve O’Dell

“Because of what we have been going through with Laurie’s health stuff, I am completely powerless. That is is hard for me. I want to escape… [but] God is helping me not to disconnect. “ —Matt Krieg

“Steve, I so relate (and to Matt, you too!) to that double life. We so want our churches to be these authentic places, but we are not great at knowing how to work with mess.”—Laurie Krieg

//Do the Next Thing:

• Watch a video version of the episode here
• For all of the podcast episodes, visit www.Lauriekrieg.com/podcast
• We reference the Broken/Beloved Pastors series, and you can find the first episode in that series here

After over a year off of the air, the Hole in My Heart Podcast is back!!!

We are back and we got a shiny new studio and some awesome new friends who are producing this thing.

Through a new partnership with West Michigan’s 91.3 WCSG, the Hole in My Heart Podcast has the opportunity to reach more people with the truth that the gospel is good news for *everyone* every day. (!!)

Today, Laurie, Matt, and Steve get behind the microphones (and cameras!) to re-acclimate long time listeners and welcome new ones.

We do this by:

• Playing Two Truths and a Lie with each other (Can you guess the right answer?)
• Talk about how the gospel has *still* been good news for us in the last year 
• Offer how the podcast began, how we connected to WCSG, and why we named it “Hole in My Heart” anyway…?
• Engage a conversation about sin, neediness, and why we run to things we don’t truly want or need
• Share what we are looking forward to in the new season of HIMH!! (Eek!)

//Highlights:

“Whether or not I get healed (I don’t know), I do know eternal [victory] is guaranteed.” —Laurie Krieg

“Often times, we can look at our needs and think they are character flaws or deficiencies when in actuality they are created order.”—Matt Krieg

“I am excited about integrating. I think God has been working on me a lot on integrating—on becoming a real, whole person.”—Steve O’Dell

//Do the Next Thing:

• Watch the episode here
• We mention: Episode 24: Is There Hope for Us?
• We mention The Marriage Series
• Want to connect? Email us at podcast@lauriekrieg.com or find a community with other listeners on the HIMH Facebook group here

What is it? First, let's hang out for a while, and talk about...

• How did that "word for the year" go for you?
• In light of that reality, how has the gospel been uniquely good news for you this year?
• What is coming next for the podcast and our ministry in 2022?

We'd love for you to sit at the podcast table one more time with us. :)

//Highlights:

• "If you are listening and you feel this frenetic burden to go and save the world, Jesus already did that. Abide in Him, walk in Him, and He will show you how to have your doing come from your being." -Laurie Krieg
• “[Let’s] not just be like, ‘Well, that’s just Christianity, isn’t it? It’s suffering.’ …No, that’s not why Jesus came, so that we have to suffer and hate everything. There’s this good desire in us for this shalom and this peace. And if you want that, that’s a good desire.” -Laurie Krieg

//Do the Next Thing:

Want to send a note about how this podcast has affected you? Rate and review it, or email us at podcast@lauriekrieg.com.

We also mention these episodes—check ‘em out!

• Practically Living Life in the Presence of God with Ken Boa here
• How to Not Give Up with Christine Caine here
• The First Episode of Season 5 here
• Join our Facebook group here!
• If you need a fresh look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more here

One spouse has just confessed to unfaithfulness and the other is reeling in shock.

• Where do we go from here?
• Is there hope for a marriage in crisis?
• Does Jesus have something to say to this place?

We are thrilled to bring back our friends Johnny and Amanda McKenna, who have been in this place and walked through—with Jesus’ help—to the other side.

Give it a listen?

// Highlights:

• “Pray the prayer that was prayed over me, which is a super scary prayer to pray…but that prayer of ‘Whatever needs to come into the light, come into the light.’ Days before my confession, I was told that that prayer was being prayed over me.” --Johnny McKenna
• “I ... have to trust that God’s gonna be there … when everything does come out and the pieces are ready to be put back together and God can begin His restoration work.” --Johnny McKenna

// Do the Next Thing:

• Missed our first conversation with Johnny and Amanda? Check it out here!
• Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group!
• If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
• We would love it if you would rate the podcast for us, on any of your favorite listening platforms!

Did you know that Francis Schaeffer was against orientation-change pursuit for gay people?

Did you know that Billy Graham was a compassionate defender of gay people who fell into sexual sin?

Did you know that John Stott encouraged the church to “repent of the crippling ‘homophobia’… which has coloured the attitudes toward homosexual people of too many of us, and call our fellow Christians to similar repentance”?

You guys…the church wasn’t always so terrible at the LGBTQ conversation, praise God.

Pastor and author Greg Johnson helped us understand this truth as he unpacked the church’s history, but he also shined light on some of the more dark shadows of our past and current state as he shared his own journey as a celibate pastor who experiences attractions to the same sex.

This is not an episode to miss…

// Highlight:

“[John] Stott said, ‘If the Church can’t be family for gay people, if they can’t be known and loved and understood within the Church, then the Church needs to quit calling itself the family of God.’” -Greg Johnson

// Do the Next Thing:

• Want to hear more from Greg? Go get his book!
• You can also check him out on Christianity Today!
• Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group!
• If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.

With a diagnosis of PTSD, it can be even harder.

How do we navigate knowing who we are—and equally important, who God is, in a world that assaults us with lies day in and day out?

How do we do that with trauma?

With cheerfulness and grace, Bonnie Gray tells her story and helps to answer these questions.

Listen with us?

// Highlights:

“If you go through trauma and you don’t have Jesus, you’re gonna have to be a better version than what you were before…. But if we have Jesus, we say, ‘You know what, I can’t do it. And the beauty is that I don’t have to do it all. Life can be beautiful, even if it’s not perfect.’” -Bonnie Gray

// Do the next thing:

• Want more of Bonnie? Check out her website!
• We love her book! Go grab it here!
• Enjoyed listening today? You can find Bonnie’s podcast here.
• Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group!
• If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.

But is it?

And even if "attaining" total emotional health on this side of eternity is unlikely, what steps can we take to at least walk toward it? And why do we need to?

With the wisdom and tenderness of a kind father figure, pastor and author, Pete Scazerro, helps us answer some of our questions about the pursuit of emotional health. Together we explore the above questions as well as:

• Why is the usual church-discipling paradigm to live burned out and overextended? 
• What if we say "no" to people and they get mad at us. How do we process that?
• Are there really two types of people in the world: the helpers and the helped?

We'd love to have you join the conversation.

// Highlight:

“Say the United States is gonna cease to be a world power, and fall, and become this dominated country by another country. We may live through that. I mean, who knows what’s gonna happen? The point is: COVID, all the pressures, are putting pressure on our inner life. But, you see, if you can develop an inner life with God that’s robust, the Roman Empire can fall, but you’re okay. Because your happiness is not dependent on your circumstances.” -Pete Scazerro

// Do the Next Thing:

• For resources on building a Rule of Life, click here! 
• And here is the logic behind it
• Want more of Pete? Check out his website here.
• You can also see his books here.
• Looking for community with other podcast listeners? Join our Facebook group!
• If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
• Watch this Conversation! 

Sometimes, it’s the Bible.

Sometimes, it’s the powerful word from a dear friend.

Sometimes, it’s prayer.

Sometimes (oftentimes?), it’s all of the above.

When Michelle Kyle and I (Laurie) met together for coaching, she said she felt “stuck.” I didn’t know if I could help her get unstuck, but using a prayer technique I have been engaging for 15 years, I thought I would give it a try. 

• What did we do? 
• Did she get unstuck?
• What was the process, and how can I engage something like that today?
• What cautions do Matt and I have when engaging this process?

Join us for this powerful and practical conversation on listening prayer and we will dive into these answers and more.

// Highlights:

“I just remember praying, ‘God, you’re gonna have to do something, because I literally close my eyes and I usually see nothing.’ And so I did….And all of a sudden, I did, it happened, and I could see myself on the edge of the pier.” -Michelle Kyle

“You [Laurie] had asked me, ‘Do you want to invite Jesus into that space?’ And I said, ‘Well, He’s actually already there.’” -Michelle Kyle

// Do the Next Thing:

• Want to learn more about listening prayer? Check out Matt’s episode about it here.
• We talk about it in this episode, too!
• Looking for more resources? We’re big fans of HealingCare.org.
• If you need a new look at Scripture, the CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.

Do you approach your friendships, your work, or the pain in your life more as the orphan, the stranger, or the widow? 

Don’t know what that means? We didn’t either until we read “Redeeming Heartache” and then talked with the brilliant psychologist, Dr. Dan Allender, and to our new wise friend, author and therapist Cathy Loerzel. Dan and Cathy helped us understand each of these approaches to the world, and invited us to live redeemed as a priest, prophet, or king and queen.  

Together we explore:

• What if I don’t think I’ve ever had trauma? Do I still need to do heart work?
• Why do I need to look back at my past? My present is hard enough.
• Why do I act this way in challenging situations?

Join us? // Highlights:

“To be able to rest and receive delight and have gratitude, you need to be able to be open to what other people can offer you.... So if you’re never in that place of being able to receive that with an open, trusting heart, then you’re always…coiled up and ready for the place that you’re gonna be harmed next. So it keeps you from being able to receive surprise and delight and play because you’re always, always, always looking around the corner.” -Cathy Loerzel

“The reality is we all bear some of the effects of the Fall, and that’s what we’re calling trauma.” -Dan Allender “You can’t heal the present without going back to the past.” --Cathy Loerzel

// Do the Next Thing:

• Want more of these two? Go read their book, Redeeming Heartache!
• Check out the Allender Center, which both Dan and Cathy are a part of founding and leading!
• Dan is a veteran on the podcast! Here’s our first episode with him.
• Looking for a fresh way to read Scripture? The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.
• Want something deeper than just the podcast? Join our Facebook group and discuss with us!

What’s going on?

Pastor and author Sam Allberry, a friend of the show and author of the new book “What God Has to Say about Our Bodies: How the Gospel Is Good News for Our Physical Selves” helps us answer this question and more. Together, we explore: 

• Why is our body an integral part of our true selves?
• How can we walk with our friends who experience gender dysphoria?
• Why does it seem like so many people are giving up right now when it comes to making potentially harmful choices with their bodies? 
• How can we address gender without using a list of “This is what it is NOT,” but “This is what it is?”
• Why is shame so often related to our bodies?

We’d love to have you sit your embodied self down at the podcast table and join us for this needed conversation.

// Highlights:

“The very yearning itself is a reflection that we’re made in God’s Image…. We sense there should be more than there is, that there should be a sense of wholeness and of satisfaction and completion that seems to elude us…. But the fact that we’re foreign means that our understanding of that is incomplete and our ways forward with that feeling are very twisted and skewed as well.” -Sam Allberry

// Do the Next Thing:

• Want more of Sam Allberry? Start here, with his book!
• Don’t have time for the whole book? He also has a blog! You can check it out here.
• He can also be found as a contributor on the Gospel Coalition! Here’s this article he wrote on the significance of the rainbow (yes, that rainbow) for all of us.
• Looking for a fresh way to read Scripture? The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast. Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com!
• Follow Laurie on Instagram for updates!

And sometimes they really get in our way.

What are we supposed to do about this? Does Jesus care about our desires? Does He value them?

As our good friend Curt Thompson points out, Jesus first question in the gospel of John is, “What do you want?”

Clearly, our desires matter to God.

How and why? Listen with us to find out.

// Highlights: “Jesus’ assumption is that what I want is a really, really big deal.” -Curt Thompson “[When I am wounded] I don’t desire, I devour.” -Curt Thompson

“…[S]till Jesus says, ‘What is it that you want?’ And I’m like, ‘What else is there to want? I’ve run out of all the options that I’ve made, that I’ve created.’ And this is when He comes with Himself and undoes us. Because—what I really want? I wanna be loved, I wanna be seen, I wanna be known, I wanna be wanted. And even though it terrifies me, I even want to be wanted by [Jesus], including the parts of me that I hate the most. And Jesus is saying, ‘I’m all in. And the parts of you that you hate the most? I’m not afraid of that, and you can’t make me leave the room.’” -Curt Thompson

// Do the Next Thing:

Want more of Curt? We have loads! (We’re big fans of him around here.)

For the basics, check out his website, including his NEW BOOK, The Soul of Desire!

To hear more from Curt on our podcast, check out these other episodes!

• Episode 64: Exploring Our Souls of Shame, pt. 1
• Episode 65: Exploring Our Souls of Shame, pt. 2
• Episode 138: Shredding Shame in a Pandemic

Are you looking for a community with whom to explore more of the issues discussed on the podcast? Join the Heart of the Matter on Facebook!

Looking for a great translation of the Bible? The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast! Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com.

Do you have a sense that the Bible could be a great help, but you don’t want to come across as legalistic or dismissive of their struggles?

How do you walk alongside your friends? (Or, how do you walk alongside yourself if you’re struggling with cracking the Bible?)

Author, podcaster, and Bible teacher Tara Leigh Cobble is here to help. Together, we explore:

• How does the Bible relate to our identity?
• What reading program can I start today without being overwhelmed by starting today?
• How important is it to have someone who can walk with you?
• How did Tara Leigh go from, “I can’t do this any more,” to caring about the Scriptures and Jesus more than ever before?

Join us?

// Highlights:

“I was reading Scripture with the lens to understand how do I get what I want from God, first of all?…And I was also looking [for] how can I please Him? Because, frankly, if I please Him, if I do what He wants, then He’s gonna do what I want….And my pastor friend said, ‘You’re reading it backwards. You’re reading it as thought it’s a mirror, and it’s not. It’s a lens to behold the living God.’” -Tara Leigh Cobble

// Do the Next Thing:

Are you looking for Bible study resources? Head over to BibleRecap.com.

Want more of Tara Leigh? Check out her website here!

Also—we are in love with this study from Tara Leigh! Go get it!

In this episode, we mention the coaching options with Laurie, but her schedule is currently full. If you are interested in learning more, email info@lauriekrieg.com.

The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast. Learn more about our new favorite Bible at csbible.com!

—Christine Caine

The first time we had this conversation with anti-human trafficking activist and internationally sought-after speaker and author Christine Caine, it was life-giving to all of us.

The second time we listened, it felt doubly hope-infusing because of where we are at in our journeys now…

Anyone else feeling the global slump of discouragement and despair? Has anyone else wondered, “Why am I doing this?” Or “How did I get here?”

Christine came and did not cheerlead us out of it, rather she empathized and encouraged from her own two-year journey with a dark night of the soul…

We’d love to have you join this powerful conversation.

// Highlight:

“I've thought, ‘I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I'm good enough or talented enough or whatever,’ but never have I thought, ‘I don't know if I want to,’ because I really knew the price of going forward … But then I turn to [my husband] and I said, ‘But Jesus would know. Jesus know that I didn't press on … Jesus would know that I coasted my way into eternity—if I didn't press on and keep running my race.”—Christine Caine

// Do the Next Thing:

Find Christine’s book and all the things here

Learn more about the Propel-Wheaton Cohort here

The CSB translation is a sponsor of the HIMH podcast. Learn more about our new favorite Bible here

Join our Facebook group to connect with other listeners!

When we think about raising our little kids in a porn-saturated world, we want to raze the whole broken system to the ground. That we even have to have this conversation plain ol’ stinks. (Darn you, Fall of Man!) 

Then, we start to brainstorm:

• How long can I keep porn away from our kids? (Forever?)
• What if they have already discovered it? (Am I the worst parent?)
• How early are we supposed to talk about the “goodness of God’s design” for sex (the mechanics of it), and how early is too early?

As first-generation parents, youth leaders, and aunts and uncles of kids with cell phones (ie. porn in our kids’ pockets), we can feel overwhelmed by how to engage the porn conversation. But … annoyingly … we have to.  Can someone please help us?

Ministry leaders and researchers Josh Glaser and Daniel Weiss are here with the assist, and the conversation we had was helpful and hopeful.

Join us?

// Highlights:

“In one study, 75 percent of parents felt their kids hadn’t seen pornography, but 50 percent of those kids in that group admitted they had looked at it. So, that means half of those parents were unaware that their kids were looking at pornography.” —Daniel Weiss

“It’s a natural human response…that when we’re found out in our sin, we like to run and we like to hide. It’s a protective mechanism. And so, instead of inviting our kids to lie to us or to evade the truth, we just let them know what we know.” -Josh Glaser

“It’s not whether or not my kid would look at pornography—that’s the wrong question. The right question is: ’Is pornography the content or kind or material that will respect my family’s boundaries or my family’s values?’ It’s not. Pornography is seeking to be found. You can be frustrated … angry … but, that’s why it’s so important to be intentional and proactive [to not only] talk about the dangers out there, but more importantly, [to talk about] the beauty of what this was all made for—God’s design. Give them the positive, the beautiful first so that everything else seems to be the counterfeit, not the other way around.” —Daniel Weiss 

// Do the Next Thing:

For more on this topic, check out Jay Stringer’s book Unwanted.

You can also listen to this interview we did with Dan Allender, who addresses the connection between shame and sexuality.

Join our Facebook group to connect with other listeners! 

It's talked about quite frequently and often with rightful animosity, but have you ever considered there might be some good types of shame?

Buckle your seatbelt as we engage the three types of shame and why they are so important--not just when engaging the LGBT+ conversation, but anyone's life.

Matt, Laurie, and Steve also dive into how the rest of SEASON FIVE will look, and why they are choosing to follow Jesus--even now in often-brutal 2021.

Toxic Shame:

• Whole body self-hate "Who I am is worthless."
• From the enemy (Satan)
• Happens before, during, or after we sin (or even if we didn't)

Guilt:

• "What I did was not worth it."
• From the Holy Spirit
• Happens only after we sin

Godly Shame: 

• Helps us to feel the weight of our sin so we don't repeat it
• From the Holy Spirit
• Happens after we sin (or if we didn't)
• See: 1 Cor. 6:5 (“I say this to shame you”), 2 Cor. 7:10 (“godly sorrow that leads to repentance”)

// Highlight:

“The antidote to shame is being seen in our mess and loved in our mess….[Confession] can be this joyful thing, it doesn’t have to be this—it shouldn’t be—this ‘You’re worthless’ thing!….We don’t have to—just because we’ve been tempted toward something or even if we’ve sinned—we don’t have to hate ourselves, guys! We can confess and be free!” -Laurie Krieg

// Do the Next Thing:

Our book, An Impossible Marriage, talks often about these three types of shame and how they manifest. Check it out here!

And for more on shame, check out this resource by the expert, Curt Thompson: The Soul of Desire.

For those of you who are married and maybe feeling stuck, here’s an extra resource as well! “14 Days to Unstick Your Marriage.”

Want to be more involved with the podcast? Check out our Facebook group!

As Christians, we don’t always do it well, even if our hearts are in the right place.

• Are these conversations the same?
• How are they different?
• Can we advocate justice and unity without endorsing what is not God’s best?
• And how do we do this with our friends?

Stephanie Thole entered into this conversation with extraordinary grace and kindness, and we are thrilled to listen in again.

//: Highlights

• “We were one of the few black families. I remember always being so attracted to all of these white boys. In my mind, I was like, ‘I gotta get rid of this…’ I understood at a very early age that that was not allowed.” —Stephanie Thole
• “I was very much aware at how different I was. That I was ‘other.’” —Stephanie Thole
• “A lot of us have made mistakes, have had hard conversations, have offended the wrong person, and it’s been a painful, awkward experience. Don’t let that stop you. Keep walking.” —Stephanie Thole

//: Do the Next Thing

• For more on this conversation, check out our friends Daniel Hill and Rebecca McLaughlin! They lend their voices well to these issues.
  • The Secular Creed by Rebecca McLaughlin.
  • White Lies by Daniel Hill. 
• You can also listen to our interview with Rebecca McLaughlin here! 
• Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! 
• Follow Laurie on Instagram for more ministry updates! 

• What happens when we feel attraction toward our friends?
• What if we become enmeshed with other people?
• How do we guard against turning inward rather than outward, and encourage one another to continue on mission with Jesus?

Rachel Gilson shares her story and the beauty of being family in Christ in really helpful ways. We’re thrilled to revisit this conversation with her.

Listen in with us.

//:Highlights

• “We kind of intuitively sense that a sibling relationship is a special kind of relationship: It has both really deep intimacy but is absolutely not erotic.” –Rachel Gilson
• “A lot of time what temptation does is it wants to pull away our focus from, ‘God has given me gifts and opportunity to—with His Body—build His kingdom.’ Temptation ends up being this big gospel waste.” –Rachel Gilson
• “Occasionally, you get this best friend situation where you turn inward like an ingrown toenail … you end up pairing up in a way that shuts out the broader body. There is something about sibling-hood that reminds us we are a part of a family.” –Rachel Gilson

//: Do the Next Thing

• For more from Rachel Gilson, check out her book, Born Again This Way. 
• Also, check out her article “I Never Became Straight” on Christianity Today, which one of the most read of its time.
• You can also listen to our first episode with Rachel Gilson here. 
• Also! Check out Kelly Needham on codependency here. 
• Have you seen our new favorite Bible yet? Check it out here! 
• Join our Facebook group for more updates! 

Here are the episodes we cover:

“Caring for People Wrestling with Gender” with Mark Yarhouse

“Shredding Shame in a Pandemic” with Dr. Curt Thompson

“Defining Stress and Success” with John Mark Comer

“Start Where You Are” with Rashawn Copeland

“Intro to the Gardens’ Series Part 2” with Matt and Laurie

“Marriage and Mental Health” with Aaron and Jamie Ivey

We also get honest about how we feel about how this season went, and we look ahead to the summer and fall (SEASON FIVE!)

Thanks for being a part of what made this season really sweet. There is no reason to do this thing without you.

// Highlights:

“We’re trying to be proactive, to make the Church a place where it’s safe to wrestle with things, and one of the primary ways we can do that is to really stop worshipping at the feet of marriage and start worshipping at the feet of Jesus.” -Laurie Krieg

// Do the Next Thing:

Are you interested in any LGBT+/sexuality/Church oneness trainings we do? Email Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com

It’s that good and that important…especially this month (Pride Month).

Author and teacher, Rebecca McLaughlin, takes some of the real-life theological conversations many of us are having right now and helps us to respond with grace and truth.

She explores these questions and more:

• How can we respond kindly and truthfully when people say to us, “Love is love! Why can’t you just love people!”?
• What can we say when people tell us that holding to a historical biblical view of marriage is intrinsically harmful (ie. It encourages suicidal behavior)?
• What if people point at slavery being acceptable in the Bible, “And it was wrong about that, so it must be wrong about ‘homosexuality’”?
• What if friends also say, “How can you prevent people from loving who they want to love?”

We’re going to go there, friends. We need to—with grace, love, and truth.

// Do the Next Thing: 

Find all of Rebecca’s books here.

Follow us and what we are up to here.

Goodness, this quote from Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s new book, "True Companions: A Book for Everyone About the Relationships That See Us Through," gripped us.

If loneliness is that deep-seated reality that you have corners of your heart that only you and Jesus understand, aren’t we all lonely? And isn’t it time we admit it?  Dr. Kelly Flanagan thinks it’s not only time to admit our lonely realities but to befriend loneliness.

After talking with him and reading his book, we are convinced we should do the same.

Okay…but as we/before we do this, we have a few questions:

• What is the difference between loneliness and isolation?
• How much are our friends/family/the Church responsible for alleviating isolation and how much is on us to process with Jesus?
• Why is befriending this loneliness journey better than avoiding with Netflix and wine?

Pull up your own loneliness to the table and listen in to what we found to be a beautiful, de-isolating, honest conversation.

// Highlights:

“A lot of us think of lonely as a feeling that goes along with a certain set of conditions. But when I’m talking about loneliness, I’m talking about it as a fact, like a fact of our humanness.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan

“[T]o love companionably, to love with the love that we call phileo...is to come alongside, to enter into the life, to say, ‘I’m gonna walk along with you in this.’” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan

“We have to cultivate the capacity to create spaces of non-doing.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan

“A thousand hearts [on Instagram] leaves us feeling isolated....We need to be attentive to populating our lives with people who we are working together [with] to see each other and understand each other as well as we can.” -Dr. Kelly Flanagan

// Do the Next Thing:

Go get Dr. Kelly’s books, True Companions and Lovable!

Looking for someone to walk through stuff with you? Check out coaching with Laurie!

Follow Laurie on Instagram for updates on what’s going on next!

I mean, we have all gone through a lot in the last year, and so have young people.

Today, author and teacher, Dr. Michele Anthony, comes alongside us to help us care for kids’ hurting hearts.

Together, we explore:

• How can we teach kids to hear God’s voice? (Is it even possible?)
• How can we lead kids as a “spiritual parent” instead of a “fear-based” one? (And what does it even mean to parent spiritually?)
• How can we help children to have a gospel-centered identity?

Only the easy questions today. ;)  Join us?

// Highlights: 

“First, God is in charge.” -Dr. Michelle Anthony (quoting her daughter)

“[Spiritual parenting] means I have an audience of One. It means I’m not parenting for the whole world to say I’m a good parent; I’m parenting before God to say, ‘I’m really taking seriously that you entrusted this child to me.’” -Dr. Michelle Anthony

“[Spiritual parenting is] done in concert with the Holy Spirit.” -Dr. Michelle Anthony

// Do the Next Thing:

Check out more of Michelle at her website!

For updates on our ministry and connection to other listeners, join our Facebook group!

Instead, we see scandal. Abuse. Toxicity.

What do we do with this?

How do we change and prevent it?

Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer have an answer: tov.

Tov is the Hebrew word for “good,” and it’s who God is and who He calls us to be.

As Scot says it, tov is “the redemptive dimension of churches that can prevent them from toxicity.” We need more of this.

Let’s listen in.

// Highlights:

“This [book] was really a work of faith for me, realizing that God is in the wounded. That He’s with the wounded, He’s with the resisters. And I’ve found that, sadly, churches silencing victims was so discouraging and so disorienting. But what I found through the journey was that, that is not God, that God is truth and that God, like I said, is with the wounded.” -Laura Barringer

“The gospel is about the goodness of God—God is tov—because He is Himself tov, and therefore, we get incorporated into that kind of gospel and it just fills us with tov and goodness! And we want to be that kind of person in the world, because that’s the way Jesus was.” -Scot McKnight

“Who are we talking about when we leave the church? Are we talking about God? Are we talking about Jesus? Are we talking about the Spirit? Are we talking about the fellowship of the saints and the worship? Or are we talking about how great the pastor was [and] how great the church was?…When that’s the commentary in the car on the way home, we’re on the verge of trouble.” -Scot McKnight

// Do the Next Thing:

Check out Scot and Laura’s book, A Church Called Tov, here.

Here’s Scot’s blog!

Also, guys! We are looking for partners in our ministry! If you’re interested, join us over here.

For updates on our ministry, check out Laurie’s Instagram.

It’s not often Matt and I (Laurie) are surprised by our guests, but we were surprised in the best way today.

Podcaster, author, and boss-mom, Jamie Ivey, and pastor, author, and tender-hearted dad, Aaron Ivey, got real—like really real.

Matt and I were going along, simply enjoying the conversation with these incredibly humble and kind people, and then Therapist Matt asks a question about how childhood wounding relates to marriage pain. (Way to go, counselor!) We suddenly took a left turn, and found ourselves talking about Aaron’s recent clinical depression diagnosis. 

What contributed to it? 

How did Jamie respond? 

What if we have been feeling similarly this last year, but are sick of people saying, “Oh yes, everyone is depressed. It’s 2020/21.”

Ooo, friends. This is a rich one. 

// Highlights:

“Oneness takes work.” -Laurie Krieg

“[Our] friendship turned into deep abiding love, and that’s what’s kept us through the whole [marriage].” -Aaron Ivey

“My advice would be….to pray. [It] would really, really be to pray. And no pray, ‘Oh that they come around,’ or whatever, but pray that they fall in love with Jesus. Because I honestly think that [in] falling in love with Jesus, a lot of the pieces that we’re wanting to get fixed, they fall into place that way.” -Jamie Ivey

“Single people need to hear and understand: You have value and purpose and there’s something that God has for you to do right now in your singleness. Because if you can wrap your mind around that, then marriage won’t be this thing that you feel like you can finally get to and THEN do something awesome with your life.” -Aaron Ivey

“There is no shame with mental health. None.” -Aaron Ivey

// Do the Next Thing:

Check out the Iveys’ book!

Jamie mentioned interviewing Aaron on her podcast. Find that episode here!

Also—here’s that one time Jamie interviewed us!

How in the world can we do it well?

Real-life friends, authors, and founders of The Ruth Experience, Julie Fisk and Kendra Roehl, wisely and winsomely engaged Laurie’s latest habit of tossing quite challenging questions at guests.

Together, the group explored: 

• How do we confront our friends?
• What about friend-shame? (If I feel that I have too few friends or not enough time for the ones I have?)
• Should we wait for friends to come to us or do we go to them?
• How do you know if you are asking too much of your friendships?
• Do guys do friendship differently?
• What if we are attracted to our friends?

// Highlights:

“If the girls of Jesus linked arms and did healthy community with one another, I think we would be an unstoppable force.” -Julie Fisk

“We can trust the Holy Spirit more than we think we can when it comes to relationships.” -Kendra Roehl

“God asks us to move, and He will meet us when we move, but He often pushes us out of our comfort zones. And as the girls who believe in Jesus, we are to be the inviters…I understand the desire…to be invited, but I have found more often than not, I have to be the inviter….Jesus frequently makes me take the step.” -Julie Fisk

// Do the Next Thing:

Want to hear more from Julie, Kendra, and the Ruth Experience? Head over to their website here.

Guys! The Journey Well Study is ON SALE this week! Check it out here.

Want to join a monthly, live Q and A conversation with Matt and Laurie and others who listen? Support the ministry and $15 or more a month and you’ll get exclusive access to this as well as other ministry exclusives and updates!

Such as…

• What is biblical feminism (and should we call ourselves biblical feminists if we are pro-woman)?
• What does it mean to be feminine?
• Is there a right and wrong when it comes to marriage: complementarian or egalitarian? 

Bible teacher and author, Phylicia Masonheimer, handles all of these questions and more with aplomb. (Yes, aplomb.)

Pull up an earbud, friends, and join this really enjoyable conversation.

// Highlights:

“What I found in Scripture was that the heart of the person and their desire to walk with the Lord and evidence the fruit of the Spirit is God’s top priority. And some of those extra personality traits? They’re just the freedom that He gives us to express that personality, as long as we’re surrendering it to the Lord.” -Phylicia Masonheimer 

// Do the Next Thing:

Check out more of Phylicia’s work at her website!

Check out an Egalitarian/Complementarian description here

ALSO—here’s our new favorite Bible. Check it out!

So, we’re bringing in the best expert on the conversation right now: our dear friend of the podcast (and in real life!), Dr. Preston Sprinkle.

Together, we explore:

• If we hold to a historically Christian view of marriage (believing it is between one man and one woman) how does that affect our beliefs on gender? Does it?
• Should Christians transition?
• Is this whole thing just a big trend?
• How can we love beloved, trans* image bearers like Jesus?

No longer can we offer pat answers or avoid the whole thing, dear family. Let’s dive in together.

// Highlights:

“Think deeply and love widely.” -Preston Sprinkle

“We need to look through these identities to the person. And really have the kindness and patience of Christ to get to know this human being in front of you.” -Preston Sprinkle

// Do the Next Thing:

Explore more of Preston’s work, especially Embodied, here!

Check out our new favorite Bible here!

When you were a kid and were the last one chosen for kickball? 

Junior high lunch room not knowing where to sit? 

Maybe you think of last week when that person didn’t text you back? 

No matter what comes to mind, most of us wouldn’t put rejection in the “gift” file of our minds. 

However, author and dating coach, Kait Warman, has a different view:

After processing the deep pain of rejection with Jesus, she has learned to be grateful for it. 

How, Kait? Seriously, how do you do that?!

Let’s go, friends. 

// Highlights:

“In the wake of a rejection, we wanna see six months ahead. We wanna know next week, next month, and we wanna see the future….So my prayer usually to God in the wake of a rejection is, ‘God, would you give me the grace just to handle today?’” -Kait Warman

// Do the Next Thing:

Head over to Kait’s website for more resources!

Check out our new favorite Bible!

The topic of race has faded from the trends the last few months—but for Christ-followers, the work is just beginning. We have a lot of ground to cover and many questions along the way. Never fear, though; our Savior is walking with us!

Pastor Daniel Hill is here to walk with us as well, taking us with him on his own journey.

Friends? Will you join us as we explore this topic even more deeply than before?

// Highlights:

“For me, the most important aspect of repentance is this acknowledgment that Jesus Christ has a perspective on the problem of race that I don’t currently share. He sees it in a way that I don’t currently see it. So to repent is to say that I don’t have the mind of Christ in this arena and I want to have the mind of Christ.” -Daniel Hill

“Racism is built on this lie about human value. It says that some people are superior—white—and some people are inferior—black—and then it measures—Asian, Middle Eastern, Latino—it measures based on the proximity to those two poles….We just have to see that those lies have very real impact. They don’t just mess up souls. They mess up neighborhoods, they mess up communities. They mess up all kinds of other things.” -Daniel Hill “It’s not a political issue at all; it’s an Imago Dei issue.” -Daniel Hill

// Do the Next Thing:

Check out David’s writing at his website!

Here’s our new favorite Bible—check it out!

Two-time author and one of our favorite friends of the podcast, Greg Coles, is back to mentor us.

On what?

Well, our friendships.

Questions we explore include:

• How did you know you were called to singleness + celibacy (and not marriage)?
• What does belonging mean if we are feeling lonely?
• Can we have a social life with Jesus?
• What does it mean to say (and believe) "God is enough"?
• How can married + single people build each other up?
• How should the Church interact with our social lives?

We'd love for you to join us.

// Highlights:

“It’s actually in the reckless pursuit of Jesus that you find yourself being given a much better belonging than you thought you could possibly earn.” -Greg Coles

“There’s...this broader claim that...with human beings, they’re actually intended to share life with one another to see the face of God reflected in the image of God around them in these Image-Bearers.” -Greg Coles

“Jesus is not a God who interacts with us at a distance.” -Greg Coles

“It actually matters so little what I can do, or what I can recognize, or what I can wrap my head around, or what I can cling to—because all the most important clinging is the clinging that Jesus is doing...to me.” -Greg Coles

// Do the Next Thing:

Check out Greg’s new book, along with his other content, on his website!

Want to hear more of Greg on the podcast? Check it out here!

By the end of 2020? Between 39 and 42% of US adults experienced anxiety or depression (Journal of Public Health).

We need help, and psychology professor and author Dr. Peace Amadi is here to offer it. 

• When should we call a therapist?
• Why should we?
• How can we walk with each other through this (if the therapist’s waiting list is 6-months long)? 

Let’s go, friends.

No shame, no judgment, let’s just care for each other like Jesus cares for us.

// Highlights:

“The absolute first step is just to pause and listen and name the pain….Whatever it is, it’s so important to name it. That can’t be overstated. Because when you name the pain, you basically tell yourself that it’s real and it deserves attention and that there’s something that your body, your mind, your psyche is trying to tell you.” -Dr. Peace Amadi

// Do the Next Thing:

Check out Peace’s work and latest book!

If you’re looking for a “friend in the trenches,” check out our coaching resources!

Also, check out our new favorite Bible!

"Why didn't I say this? Why did I say that? How can I do better next time?"

If so, we can relate, and so can bestselling author Crystal Paine.

Crystal never thought she would write a parenting book, and when her child was getting kicked out of school for poor choices, she especially couldn't picture it. 

But sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom of something to really experience God's grace in it. That is what happened to Crystal, and now she approaches parenting and discipling young people totally differently:

She sees she can't fail.

What? How is that possible? Please, teach us how?

Crystal will in today's conversation as we continue our gardens' series.

Join us?

//Highlights:

“I was constantly just correcting, but I was spending so little time connecting.” -Crystal Paine

“There’s just this beautiful rest and freedom as a mom, because it’s not about my kids’ choices—it’s about being able to walk with them.” -Crystal Paine

// Do the Next Thing: 

To learn more about Crystal, head over to her website, MoneySavingMom.com!

Also, check out Crystal’s book, Love-Centered Parenting: The No-Fail Guide to Launching Your Kids, here!

BONUS: Check out one of our new favorite Bibles.

Will you consider partnering us? Learn more here!

We feel you.

Personal, intimate experiences with Christ are hard to find in our chaotic world.

Today, Carolyn Schroeder (Laurie’s real life mentor!!!) is here to invite us into Jesus’ presence and teach us how to have those experiences wherever we are!

Join us as we dive into deeper relationship with our Savior and Healer today.

// Highlights:

“God had to get me to the place of being powerless and desperate for Him so that I could be a receiver.” -Carolyn Schroeder

“My sins cannot condemn me, because there’s a solution to sin. And everyday, I take that solution.” -Carolyn Schroeder

“Only a life lived in anticipation of [God’s] goodness can live in the chaos we live in.” -Carolyn Schroeder

// Do the Next Thing:

Would you consider partnering with us in our mission? Click here to learn more!

Check out Carolyn’s recommendations for time with Jesus:

• Lectio 365
• 1010 Thrive Podcast

And here’s Carolyn’s prayer featured at the end of the episode!

Hear Him say to you now: “My Beloved one, you are most precious to me.  The places in your life where you feel the most fearful, the most regretful, the most shameful are where I want to shine my love, compassion and mercy on, and I will carry that for you so it will become the place where my glory shines through. I will take what the enemy has done to wound you and bring myself into that pain for you.  If you consider acknowledging the pain others have inflicted, and give it to me, knowing  I have come to carry this pain off of you to place it on myself, so you can learn to walk in my goodness and kindness.  This is my desire for you.  It is accomplished already for you and all you need to do is open your heart and receive my life into those places so you can be free.”

“Only a life lived in an expectation of my goodness can live in the chaos around you.  I am devoted to empowering you for whatever you face, and I am with you.  You can live above your circumstance when you focus on me.  I desire you to wait on me and remain in peace in your circumstance.  I will give you my perspectives on your next step.  I have chosen you and desire to have intimacy with you.  When you are vulnerable with Me, I make you inaccessible to the enemy.  I bless you with the joy and anticipation of celebrating who I am for you in every circumstance knowing I am with you to bless you.

So dear ones, I desire your awareness of my life that is in you and your confidence in Me will overwhelm anything that can try to come against you.  For there is nothing that can defeat my purposes for you.” –Jesus

Would you rather have an all-expenses paid, two week vacation in a tropical oasis—but there is one catch: You have to be discontent every second of the trip.

Or, would you rather be locked up in jail, and you are cold, hungry, have few clothes, but you know God called you there, and so all you want to do is joyfully, contentedly worship God—so you do.

Likely, most of us would pick the second option.

But what does that choice tell us?

We think it says contentment is critical and our circumstances don’t matter as much as we might think they do.

But how in the world can we become content?

How does contentment relate to our time, money, and talents that we are called to steward?

Do we need to still give if we are achingly tired and legit feel like we have nothing inside to offer another?

Let’s get after it, friends. Let’s dive into the stewardship garden with pastor and author (and all-around awesome dude) Dr. Andrew Davis.

// Highlights:

“Christian contentment is that sense in the heart--based on the fatherly love of God—of trusting in Him, the decisions He makes for our lives. So a lot of it has to do with submission, a faith-filled submission to our Heavenly Father and what He chooses to do with our lives, and that sense that we have of peace and joy as we trust our Heavenly Father.” -Dr. Andrew Davis

“I think you can actually go through your whole Christian life and never learn [contentment]. I think you can be a complaining…murmuring, frustrated person and still be fruitful—but you won’t be as fruitful.” -Dr. Andrew Davis

“You need to be evidently hope-filled.” -Dr. Andrew Davis

“Jesus said no one lights a lamp and puts it under a bowl; he puts it up on a stand. Could it be the stand is suffering? He’s gonna put you on a stand and make you shine in a dark place…[C]ontentment enables you to be a steward of that situation.” -Dr. Andrew Davis

// Do the Next Thing:

Check out TwoJourneys.org to learn more about Andy!

Today, we'll tackle this question with the always-joyful Dr. Kathy Koch, a child development expert and long-time minister.

We'll especially be taking a look at "the eight smarts," which are:

• Word-smart: They think in words. When they're excited, they usually talk or write. They often thrive in school.
• Logic-smart: They think with questions. They ask more questions when they're excited. Usually, they like math and science, and they love things to make sense.
• Picture-smart: They think with their eyes, in pictures. Pay attention to color, design, where things are placed on a page. Art and creativity, fiction, history, and Bible are strengths of theirs.
• Music-smart: They think with rhythm and melodies. When they're excited, they hum or tap or dance. They go after the musical disciplines.
• Body-smart: They think with movement and touch. Love to experience life through movement. They may be athletic or artistic, culinary or theatrical. They are hands on, no matter what.
• Nature-smart: They think with patterns. They would rather be outside than inside. Their strengths are often in biology, meteorology, or earth science.
• People-smart: They think with other people. They brainstorm, collaborate, coordinate. When they are excited, they talk to others and get feedback.
• Self-smart: They think on their own. They reflect inside of themselves. When they're excited, they engage in more self-reflection. They are quiet but have a lot to say. Often counselors, teachers, salespeople.

All of us have them at different levels, and everyone has a few that they excel in.

These are connected with Dr. Kathy's take on the core needs (she has five):

1. Security: Who can I trust?

2. Identity: Who am I?

3. Belonging: Who wants me?

4. Purpose: Why am I alive?

5. Competence: What do I do well?

Give it a listen to see how you fit into all of this!

// Highlights:

“For me, it was wisdom that started [my relationship with Jesus], love that completed it—other people might have that in the opposite direction.” -Dr. Kathy Koch

“We can pursue righteousness, and we should—but we don’t have to be perfect. And we have a loving, full-of-grace-mercy-and-hope-and-truth God who receives us when we mess up and acknowledge it.” -Dr. Kathy Koch

“One of the questions is “Am I smart?” And I like to tell children the answer is always yes because God doesn’t make stupid people!” -Dr. Kathy Koch

“Jesus did not die that you would have an abundant school experience. No! It’s abundant life! And life is abundant when ALL of life is abundant!” -Dr. Kathy Koch

// Do the Next Thing:

Thank you to the CSB Bible for sponsoring our podcast episode! Check out the Holy Illustrated Bible we talked about here!

Check out Dr. Kathy’s website to see her book, Eight Great Smarts, and more!

Why don't we have Sarah Young offer her thoughts?

Sarah is a marriage and sex therapist who has wrestled with her body image.

Together, we cover:

• What should single people do with their sexuality?
• How do we stop hating ourselves into liking ourselves?
• What if we never talk about sex in our marriage?
• What is the ultimate form of intimacy--for real?
• How can the Church help?

We'd love for you to join the conversation.

// Highlights:

"[H]ow do I care for my heart and validate the struggle in the midst of the noise? How do I take on my own battle, my own journey, my own questions, frustrations, hesitancies? I have to have a safe place to do that. And hopefully that's how we show up as the church for everyone: our friends who are single, our friends who are married--wherever our community finds themselves." -Sarah Young

// Do the Next Thing:

Read A Celebration of Sex by Dr. Doug Rosenau.

This article by Phylicia Masonheimer

Reach us with your questions at lk@lauriekrieg.com !

Thanks, as always, for rating and reviewing the podcast!

Today, Matt and Laurie bring examples and Core Needs so we can better see that life is more than a timeline. It is more like a group of gardens to cultivate with each other and Gardener God.

After you listen, will you let us know the answer to the question: "How is your church community doing at cultivating oneness (unity, intimacy) right now? What's one way they/you are doing it well?"

Let us know so we can encourage each other with practical care! (Email: podcast@lauriekrieg.com)

This week we cover CORE NEEDS:

• Affirmed: Overwhelmingly approved of
• Desired: Specially chosen—no pretense necessary
• Included: Wanted in this group, team, or partnership; I belong
• Loved: Unconditionally accepted
• Nurtured: Cared for; held
• Purposed: Filled with a sense of profoundly mattering
• Rested: Re-centered and reset in mind, body, spirit; includes having fun
• Delighted In: Seen as unique and special
• Protected: Unafraid; trusting everything is under control
• Noticed: Seen inside and out

We also cover these GARDEN BARRIERS:

• Rocks: Sin done to us, or the effects of the Fall on us (unchosen)
• Weeds: Sin tendencies within us (These are still unchosen defaults (temptations), but we have a choice of whether we will engage the sinful tendencies.)
• Broken Fence: Covenant break of any variety (affairs, porn, "what if" questions such as "What if I left?" or "What if I married that person?")
• Mold: Aggravation of our circumstances (lies, bitterness, the enemy influence)

To see the Seven Gardens, see Episode 159.

// Do the Next Thing:

Email us with your answer to the above question! (podcast@lauriekrieg.com)

But how can we to-our-core believe this if we view life only as a timeline? … You are born, you go to school, you get married, you make Christian babies, you tithe, and you die.

“Single people?” Married people say with this timeline in mind. “Uh, yeah, you’re valuable. You don’t fit the script, but you’re great!!!!!!”

We married folk are well-meaning, but a tad insincere.

However, if we do not view life simply as a timeline, rather a group of gardens to cultivate with Gardener God?

Suddenly, life gets interesting. It’s 4D. We truly view each other as equally valuable, and as necessary to thriving as the Body of Christ.

Throw on some overalls and grab a trowel; it's time to join Matt and Laurie as they unpack Intro Part 1 to the Gardens Series.

Intellectual: Engaging topics of the mind about things that are traditionally non-emotional like concepts, ideas, facts

Physical: Connecting and caring physically such as hugs, hand-holding, sensual touch, sex (but not necessarily holistic-sex), touch, hugs, anything that cares for the physical/tactile body (physical exercise, eating healthy)

Emotional: Talking, crying, laughing, connecting to feelings, hopes, etc.

Spiritual: Church attendance, Bible study, worship, prayer

Social: Relational with each other and/or others

Stewardship: The way that we prioritize and direct the resources God has given us such as our skills, time, money, spiritual gifts, and votes

Family: Relationships to family including children, in-laws, and extended family

// Do the Next Thing:

Get our book! (Chapter 5 is where you can read more!)

We mentioned a test you can take to learn more? You can purchase the Impossible Marriage workshop here or invite us to come to do a teaching or marriage workshop on this! Reach out to Michele at events@lauriekrieg.com

She's wrestled with life-threatening depression, has been a viral TED speaker, and is here today to help us to get some soul stability if our mental health has taken a hit.

Together, we explore:

• How can we put practices in place without feeling like legalists?
• How can we face the inner critic if he/she doesn't stop berating us?
• If we show up and fail, how can we recover?

2021 requires real life conversations, and Hannah's the right one for the job.

//: Highlights

• “I knew in my soul, ‘You’re not gonna hide. You’re gonna show up anyway. You’re gonna do exactly what you would have done if you were the most confident person in the world.’ And with each decision to just move forward anyway, that …inner critic loses some of its power.” -Hannah Brencher
• “No one wins if you don’t show up in the world how you need to show up.... You’ll live this half-hearted life if you let fear have that amount of power over you.” -Hannah Brencher

//:Do the Next Thing

• Check out Hannah’s website to find her book, Fighting Forward, as well as so much more! 

As parents and ministry leaders, we don't always know how to answer Gen Z's toughest questions. Praise the Lord that Sean does, and that he's willing to help us to unpack ones like:

• “Why would God keep me from loving whomever I want to love?"
• “Why do you call your attractions to the same sex brokenness? You are not broken.”
• “I just need to be free. Why are you stopping me from freedom?”
• “If I am attracted to the same sex, why would God call me to loneliness (ie. singleness)?”
• “Who cares about sex before marriage?”

Thanks, Sean, for being a helpful friend today on the podcast! (And for being a real friend to Laurie at the surprise ending that made her cry happy tears. Listen all the way to the end to hear it. :) )

//: Highlights

• “If I could give one piece of advice, it would be to have conversations with your kids.” -Sean McDowell
• “The point in this is that sex means something. So the final question...is if we communicate with our bodies and sex means something, then how do we love God and love other people with our bodies? What does that mean? And what does that look like?” -Sean McDowell

//: Do the Next Thing

• Check out Sean’s book, Chasing Love, as well as other resources, here!  

Maybe your family—like ours—has people with different political beliefs in it. When I (Laurie) chose to co-host this episode with my dad, I didn’t realize a major theme would be loving each other through differing political beliefs.

The major gift of this surprise theme was that by the end, we were all nodding in agreement with each other—unified in the gospel.

And oh yeah… the matchless Os Guinness may have been our guest, but he acted like a brilliant mediator guiding my dad and I (and our divided world?) toward grace for each other and a reliance on “true truth.”

Maybe you can relate to this conversation?

P.S. This was recorded before the mob at the capital, but the heart of it is still very much applicable.

//: Highlights

• “People don’t realize the wonder of the gospel! So I give you the little phrase, 'Contrast is the mother of clarity.’ Every time you see what the alternatives [to the gospel] lead to, you come back with wonder, love, and praise at the difference the good news of Jesus makes.” -Os Guinness
• “Remember how Elijah made people convinced that Jehovah was the real God was the miracle of the fire coming down. We can show miracles today, too….For…followers of Christ to love each other, despite their differences, is a powerful message to our very split world.” -Randy Heckman
• “Hopelessness and despair are always pagan. The gospel always ends in a sense of hope.” -Os Guinness
• “Have faith in God. Have no fear.” -Os Guinness

//: Do the Next Thing

• Check out more of Dr. Guinness on his website! 

Some have turned to porn, the use of which increased globally by 11% at the start of the pandemic.

But wait! If this is you or a friend? Before you turn away in shame or self-hatred, we pray and believe that this conversation with John Michael Cusick, licensed professional counselor, teacher, and author of Surfing for God will truly encourage you.

Discover the heart behind porn addiction and how you can overcome it—yes, even now while the world is on fire—on today’s episode.

//: Highlights

• “I don’t see that the story of God presumes that we are more sinful than we believe. I would say that we’re more loved than we know and believe, but that we’re more *broken* than we understand. And that our sinful behaviors flow and overflow out of our brokenness.” -Michael John Cusick
• “We all experience ongoing conversions of our heart where the love of God and the Holy Spirit gets down into the nooks and crannies of who we are. Or, more accurately, Christ already dwells in us, and the Spirit is there, and the Spirit comes up and out of those nooks and crannies as the layers of shame and the layers of lies and the rubble of trauma begin to fall away.” -Michael John Cusick
• “Whenever there’s any kind of suffering, it becomes an opportunity and it’s a bridge to becoming who we are and living in our union with Christ, as opposed to a barrier.” -Michael John Cusick “[O]ur biggest sin becomes that we settle for good enough as opposed to for the abundant life.” -Michael John Cusick

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• Check out Michael John Cusick’s website for more updates on what he’s doing! 

On this episode, Matt, Laurie, and Steve talk about what God has taught them in 2020 (yes—even in 2020!). Leaps of faith, major life changes, and—how could we forget?—Rona! Through it all, God has been faithful.

Heading into 2021, then, the crew also addresses what God is pointing to for the future—thus, our words.

With that—Happy New Year, and happy listening!

//: Highlights

• “He is holding onto me when I’m not grabbing onto Him, when I grab for other things.” -Steve O’Dell
• “[Transactional interaction] is not the Father’s heart. He gives generously ‘cause He is so kind, but He wants a relationship!” -Laurie Krieg
• “And I remember feeling like, ‘God, did you bring us here to die?’ and He was just like, ‘Where were you? Have you not been watching what I’ve been doing?’” -Matt Krieg

//: Do the Next Thing

• SUPPORT our new initiative-thank you. Just-thank you. 
• Join our Facebook group to get updates and join the conversation! 
• OR find Laurie on Instagram! 
• Also—shameless plug—check out the Bible App and get started on a reading plan if you’re looking for deeper intimacy with God! 

We like following that person, we enjoy that podcast, we appreciate that channel--but serve them? Partner with them? Nah.

Unless we do. We are so grateful for listeners who have stepped up to support and volunteer with our ministry--including the two we are highlighting today: Jon Leach and Amanda Mclaurin.

These two were more than hearers of the Word, they were doers...and we are forever grateful. Hear their story, their "why" for saying yes to the Spirit's prompting, and how we can lean in where God is calling each of us on today's episode.

Merry Christmas, guys!

//: Highlights

• “I decided that if Jesus really meant that it was better that His Spirit was with me, then I could trust Him.” -Jon Leach
• “If the only thing stopping me is fear, then it’s time to dig in and start praying for faith and courage to move forward.” -Amanda McLaurin
• “As I was purposefully getting closer to Jesus, that proximity to Him, enabled me to to be passionate about His people and the people of the world that He cares about.” -Jon Leach
• “I don’t wanna kick down a door that God has closed, but I also don’t wanna stop knocking just because there’s initial resistance.” -Amanda McLaurin

//: Do the Next Thing

• See how you too can partner with us here! 
• Join our Facebook group!

Ladies and gents—if you’ve ever felt that your worth, dignity, or purity were wrapped up in your sexuality, this is for you.

On this episode, Rachel Joy Welcher, author of new book *Talking Back to Purity Culture*, helps us debunk the myths of sexuality that have come from purity culture.

Join us as we celebrate the gospel and all the gifts Christ gives—even in our sexuality.

//: Highlights

• “You can’t stop your spouse from sinning if they want to sin—but you can sure love them!” -Rachel Joy Welcher
• “You don’t fight sexual sin with sex. You fight sexual sin with self-control and love for the Lord and love for your neighbor.” -Rachel Joy Welcher
• “Our dignity cannot be changed and our purity cannot be changed, if we are in Christ.” -Rachel Joy Welcher

//: Do the Next Thing

• Pre-order Rachel Joy Welcher’s book, Talking Back to Purity Culture.   
• Join our Facebook group! 

Joy might be the farthest thing from our minds as we look back on this season of loss and chaos.

But guys? Joy is still God’s heart for us.

Today, we hear from Shaunti Feldhahn about how we can cultivate a habit of joy—even in the midst of the deepest loss and confusion. Join us as we hear from her on this delightful gift that God has given and called us to.

//: Highlights

• “[Joy] is something that you actually have to pursue, because it is there. It’s like the Kingdom—You know, Jesus talked so much about “My kingdom” being here, and the reality is it’s there, it's all around us. The reality is God’s presence with us is as close as our heartbeat, right? It’s Jesus in us….And yet because of [our] sinfulness, it’s so easy for us to focus on everything else that is going to steal that joy from us.” -Shaunti Feldhahn
• “[Joy] is there—but it is to be attended to.” -Shaunti Feldhahn
• “How do you [rejoice?]...You think on whatever is excellent. You think on whatever is lovely. You think on whatever is worthy of praise, rather than whatever is worthy of driving you nuts!” -Shaunti Felhahn

//: Do the Next Thing

• Check out Shaunti’s latest book, Find Joy: A Devotional Journey to Unshakable Wonder in an Uncertain World. 

Nowadays, when you say the same thing, it would not be unusual to hear something like, "Nah. I'm good."

Pastor and author Scott Sauls is here to wake us up with how to address our enemies in this sometimes-hostile 2020 world.

This is another conversation we will not soon forget.

//: Highlights

• “Righteous anger attacks problems; raging anger attacks people….We’re supposed to love our enemies, not put them in their place.” -Scott Sauls
• “Jesus didn’t flip tables on the woman caught in adultery.” -Matt Krieg
• “I am so bad that I needed what Christ [did]—I needed the bloodbath on the cross in order to justly take care of what a trainwreck I am. And yet I was and am so loved by Him that He was not only willing but eager to go through the bloodbath in order to have me as His own. And if that’s what I’m operating out of, I just don’t know how you’re gonna offend me after that.” -Scott Sauls

//: Do the Next Thing

• Check out Scott’s book, A Gentle Answer!