Everyone's A Critic

ep 260 An Announcement

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 16:55:00 -0700

Thank you so much for every listen throughout the years. Change isn't easy. We love all of you and have loved every moment of making this silly, wonderful, obnoxious show.

Every time you read a funny review in the wild, hear an out of context kazoo, or find yourself laughing at the inevitable heat death of the universe, let it remind you of us.

Take care of each other, make each other laugh.

J and J

Ep 259: Thank You for Yawning

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 21:54:04 -0700

In today's episode, a cohost yawns at her cohost, a boy kicks a cow too hard, and Barbie goes mutton busting.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Hello world!

Ep 258: Their 12th Favorite Film

Tue, 25 Jul 2023 21:33:54 -0700

Ecclesiastical!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Hello world!

Ep 257: The Cheez Whiz Was Expired

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 06:44:54 -0700

We didn't realize until after we stopped recording that the Cheez Whiz eaten in today's program was two weeks past its sell-by date. I bought it at a Kroger, and like, yeah sell-by dates are kind of dumb sometimes, but like, what? How?

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Hello world!

Ep 256: We Have King’s Hawaiian Money

Wed, 12 Jul 2023 06:20:23 -0700

I know the title is supposed to be "Skating for Christ." But that isn't my new favorite phrase ever, so, what can you do.

Today's show also features a grim look at airport Starbucks by someone who's connecting flight is definitely impossible.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy pile-up:

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Ep 255: Carol Time.

Tue, 04 Jul 2023 21:49:46 -0700

In today's show we piss, cuss, steal, and win (everybody's doing it).

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Hello world!

Ep 254: Milk Theft! Milk Theft!

Wed, 28 Jun 2023 06:47:49 -0700

Today's episode is sponsored by the Steak & Milk diet! Eat like Daniel Plainview, die like Daniel Plainview.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one awesome pile-up: https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

(It's so big I have to import it to Spotify manually, and I don't)

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Hello world!

Ep 253: Small Quantities of Asbestos

Wed, 21 Jun 2023 06:55:15 -0700

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

I'm desperate to own an Ovilus 3, if anyone is selling.

Ep 252: A Revolving Door for Women

Tue, 13 Jun 2023 21:13:08 -0700

This one is about the horrors of 8th grade, 7th grade, and Fort Lauderdale. Thank my lucky stars I've only experienced two of them.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Ep 251: A Bed/Cracker Situation

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 06:33:47 -0700

On an all new EAC, alliances will be broken, showmances will be shattered, and one contestant's life will change forever.

We also talk about the Applebee's in San Francisco.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Boo!

Ep 250: St. Peter Says, Yikes

Wed, 31 May 2023 06:36:12 -0700

That face when the highlight reel of your life is cringy AF, am I right? No? Just me?

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 249: Corona Times Fun Grabber

Wed, 24 May 2023 06:54:28 -0700

OOOOOOH MAN. AAAAAAAH yiss. Giant sticky hands.

Also in today's show, we look at tips for making chalupas, listener Chris kills it, and we give away 50 free trials of MAX. Just MAX.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 248: Dr. Dre’s Hoptimonium

Wed, 17 May 2023 06:07:28 -0700

Did you know hot tub boats are a thing?

Yep, that's all I've got.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 247: It’s Not Fun to Read

Wed, 10 May 2023 06:11:56 -0700

We've got a fantastic listener special for ya' today, with reviews from the Ikea cafeteria and the billigerent, anti-suffrage book nook.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Cube Steaks with Frog69

Ep 246: Most Controversial Squeezer

Tue, 02 May 2023 21:41:01 -0700

Today's episode is *littered* with inaccuracies. To be clear, the Juicy Salif is not poison when you juice on it. The instructions say it tastes bad when you juice on it. Aluminum being bad for you is somewhat debunked.

But at least when we lie, it's about juicers.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 245: Y-U-C-C-H-Y

Tue, 25 Apr 2023 22:05:11 -0700

Alternate titles for today's show:

"Totally Fucked"
Tin Can Puller
Appropriately Domestic
Mold on the Cobwebs
Chickums
Upturned Meatshield
Surrounded by Grease

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 244: Dark Yelp Live!

Wed, 19 Apr 2023 07:05:02 -0700

Also in today's episode, we explore a business that sells "urban camping" as a good thing.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 243: Foo Foo Woman Food

Tue, 11 Apr 2023 21:06:48 -0700

I don't know what to say anymore.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Cube Steaks with Frog69

Ep 242: What’s Rapini?

Wed, 05 Apr 2023 06:05:57 -0700

In today's show, we study the mythos of a truly obnoxious megastructure. We also look at reviews for a big cross.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 241: Women Like Boneless Wings

Wed, 29 Mar 2023 07:11:53 -0700

Alternate titles for today's episode include:

Tina Trashass
Meow Meow
Eating and Play
I. Have. A. Allergy.
Riddled in Allergy Sauce
Cheetah Girls Crashed My Phone
Negation of All Human Kindness
It's Women's History Month (FFS)

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 240: Same as the Old Meat

Wed, 22 Mar 2023 06:52:06 -0700

Alternate titles for today's episode:

Don't, Don't, Don't Ever Say That Again

Spring's Bone

A Cocktail I Can Cozy Up To

The Orgasm Arena

This is America

The TJ Maxx Way

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 239: Slightly Tilting

Wed, 15 Mar 2023 06:56:32 -0700

In today's show, we take a wholly unrequested trip to Elizabethton, TN, and we warsh all that sadness down with a tall glass of... plastic tubs and file organizers.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 238: I Will Not Be Polite

Wed, 08 Mar 2023 07:53:21 -0700

Alternate titles for today's episode include:

As a Body Wash

Mostly Sour Grapes

I'm Only Half-Italian

****WARNING***

This Is Crazy

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 237: A Yelper Darkly

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 07:44:56 -0700

In today's show, we have T-Joes, kale rants, AND Jimmy Dean's sausage on a stick. It's some real season 1 goodness.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 236: New Hampshire’s Greatest Threat

Wed, 22 Feb 2023 07:13:10 -0700

Today's episode is about me. I am New Hamspshire's greatest threat. I AM THE END.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 235: Gumby Jesus and Prickle John

Wed, 15 Feb 2023 07:35:50 -0700

In today's extra long pizza, we go on two fabulous road trips through the weirdest corners of America. Please see today's special image for all the hype you need.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 234: From Eating to Greeting

Wed, 08 Feb 2023 07:32:14 -0700

On this frosty western morn we feast upon Feedback: The Breakfast of Champions. Lesbians not included.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 233: David O’Doherty

Tue, 31 Jan 2023 22:52:17 -0700

In today's episode, we take a spin in the dreaded Book Nook and head east southeast through much of Middle Earth (the bits that matter, anyway).

And yeah, apparently we've heard O'Doherty pronounced incorrectly on British TV too many times. Soz!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 232: The Cincinnati Soda Wangers

Wed, 25 Jan 2023 08:07:13 -0700

Sudan Archives' last album ends with a gorgeous track about her roots in Cincinnati. Meanwhile, Cleveland has the shitty theme song from The Drew Carrey Show. You do the math.

We also talk about Quaker Steak and Lube, as well as Al Dente the singing-not-singing pasta timer.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite music in one messy (awesome) pile-up: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 231: Three Taps for Crosswords

Tue, 17 Jan 2023 22:57:07 -0700

One tap for sex.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Our favorite cuts: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uPjDIPt5PuItK7SzTeiUE?si=d7b3827f642341d4

https://tidal.com/browse/playlist/588a3c9d-cf2f-42fc-9663-5448730033b9

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 230: The Most Populous Cesspit

Wed, 11 Jan 2023 07:33:15 -0700

I have no idea how to describe today's disasterthon, but it does have very big dinos. Every other part of it will, frankly, haunt me.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 229: The OG OG Spot

Wed, 04 Jan 2023 07:29:29 -0700

In today's show, Jess comes for the hetero, and I attempt the impossible reviews topic.

Or as Cormac McCarthy would say in his seminal coming-of-something novel Suttree:

"Somebody has been fuckin my watermelons."

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 228: A Casino of Sin

Wed, 28 Dec 2022 03:00:00 -0700

Fears: conquered. Sin: vanquished. Olive Garden: every single weeknight.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

EP 227: Keep Lead in Your Brain

Wed, 21 Dec 2022 09:05:43 -0700

In today's show, we bare our souls for Christmas.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 226: Will I Be Okay?

Wed, 14 Dec 2022 07:08:31 -0700

Today's show is brought to you by apologies. Apologies! Let someone else do the hard part.

It also features reviews for Oprah's favorite things and prank kits.

Ep 225: Ol’ Weaselchops

Wed, 07 Dec 2022 07:33:06 -0700

In today's show, I introduce everyone to my best friend Canthony, we drink lots of CBD, and Jess eats a tum.

We also read reviews for Folgers K-cups and robot dogs. It's honestly a pretty good one? We've got apologies in the next episode.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 224: Curse of the Slow-Moving Slut

Wed, 30 Nov 2022 07:48:58 -0700

Today's hyphenated title brought to you by autocorrect. Autocorrect! It'll really do ya dirty.

Also, Jess revisits fan-favorite segment I Went to Grad School, and it nearly kills me.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 223: That (Tantric) Sickness Energy

Wed, 23 Nov 2022 07:50:20 -0700

In today's preview of the next Lorde LP, one host comes down with a cold so bad that, while editing the episode, that host felt vicariously ill all over again.

We also look at the IMDB Parent's Guide for Planet Earth.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 222: Peas and Heme

Tue, 15 Nov 2022 22:11:16 -0700

So quick fact check: Impossible uses heme, and Beyond uses peas. Thus, peas and heme have never truly met in America's many meat departments.

But they have met in our hearts.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 221: I Thought You Said Corn

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 22:43:35 -0700

In today's episode, we kick off Beach Week with a bodacious bang, Jess visits the island of misfit attractions, and we learn that it's NOT jaywalking if you steal first.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 220: 10 Years of Plant-Based Experience

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 22:16:03 -0700

In today's frantic Halloween episode, we learn the shocking truth behind shellac, and we celebrate Muse's extensive catalogue of Ford Truck Month music.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 219: The Cinnamon Gum is Lurking

Wed, 26 Oct 2022 06:59:00 -0700

Yo! (Shut the fuck up!) YO! (Shut the fuck *up*!) This one is about our two favorite beefy bastards: kangaroos and Paul Hollywood.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 218: Speaking in Profamity

Tue, 18 Oct 2022 22:12:09 -0700

In this episode, Jess and I finally bring (basically) the same topic. It happened gang. A solid hour (and some change) of family restaurant reviews.

The only worse thing I can imagine is owning a Tesla.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 217: My Dermis Hates This Episode

Wed, 12 Oct 2022 06:26:07 -0700

In today's episode, someone forgets their wedding anniversary, a cheese chalet shames Wisconsin, and a scalp tickler ruins my life.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 216: Milkcraft and Moozardry

Wed, 05 Oct 2022 06:04:02 -0700

Today's XXL episode features talking cows, putting with a baseball bat, and Ye Olde Keg You Piss In.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 215: The Crease Between (your chin and your neck)

Tue, 27 Sep 2022 21:45:57 -0700

In today's 15/100th centennial, we hear from a new sponsor, click my body in new and zesty ways, and read reviews for jade face rollers.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 214: Welcome to My Mine

Wed, 21 Sep 2022 05:57:55 -0700

In today's show we reintroduce even more new segments, things get dark, and we fumble in that darkness. But not before a whispering coalminer rocks our bods from our noggins to our johnsons.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 213: Piss on It: The Book

Tue, 13 Sep 2022 21:56:10 -0700

In today's show, we look at reviews for a national park AND a medieval reenactment village outside Seattle. Same stakes, different day.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 212: Fishing for Smiles

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 21:57:08 -0700

In today's show, we visit our rich uncle Toronto and his corgi, Eugene.

And yes that's a euphemism.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 211: You Cannot Throw Up

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 21:52:07 -0700

In today's show, two individuals attempt to be coherent.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 210: The Server (who was Cream)

Wed, 24 Aug 2022 01:45:58 -0700

We're back! In today's show, we dive deep into Sonic the Hedgehog lore, and I mistakenly call Cream's friend "Cookies." Her friend isn't Cookies. Her friend is Cheese. Cream and Cheese.

Sorry, Sega. Fuck.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 209: High-Key Yuck Yuck

Wed, 10 Aug 2022 09:05:54 -0700

Alternate titles include: The Episode that Almost Wasn't, The Episode that Almost Wasn't... wait, that's it. I thought I had more.

Today we've got reviews for a masturbation-themed pub in Wilsonville, Oregon AND daddy-themed foods from the Allest of AllRecipes. Unbelievable.

We're likely skipping next week's upload (for the first time ever) so that we can get an episode ahead. Stay hydrated and we'll see you in two weeks!

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 208: The Summer to My Sausage

Wed, 03 Aug 2022 08:31:07 -0700

In today's show, we finally do reviews for Hickory Farms meat and cheese boxes. I honestly wish we did an exclusively Hickory Farms podcast.

I don't even remember what the rest of the show was about.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 207: This Pleases the Nut

Wed, 27 Jul 2022 08:27:51 -0700

Today's title is a bit of merciless SEO. But we didn't stop at nuts! This episode also has fried chicken and karaoke.

Talk about a *banger*.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 206: A Sip Worth Chewing

Wed, 20 Jul 2022 08:43:27 -0700

In today's show, Stacy (finally) leaves the room, Jess arrogantly couches herself on our tongues, and Jacqueline learns about effervescence.

I thought I was bringing fire with shrimp reviews, but I didn't know I was up against a grad student.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 205: Because of Chicken Beast

Wed, 13 Jul 2022 08:28:13 -0700

In today's show, Jess tries to keep things light with reviews for Winn-Dixie the Dog, but fails when faced with a five pound burger and a fried chicken on a spoon.

We're really killin' it on this track.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 204: feel fetal Fridley at

Wed, 06 Jul 2022 08:25:46 -0700

In today's show, Jess begins a 4 part epic through the lore of Winn Dixie, and we take a very patriotic trip to Bonanza, Oregon (honk, honk).

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 203: Ready to Be the Problem!

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 08:44:38 -0700

In today's show, Daddy Bezos gives our DVDs the plastic coffins they need, and we once again explore the horrifying ball pit that is Chipotle.

WE LOVE YOU ALL AND HOPE YOU ARE OOOOOOKAY.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 202: It’s a Grocery Store, Tina

Wed, 22 Jun 2022 08:35:13 -0700

In today's show, Jess hurts herself, a puppy ruins a Trader Joe's, and a dictionary flattens the elderly.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 201: Sushi! The Whole Foods Opera

Wed, 15 Jun 2022 08:34:44 -0700

In today's show, I bring us a new world of sushi on Amazon, and Jess takes Guy Fieri's hideous red car for a spin.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 200: Two Peas and THAT Perogi

Wed, 08 Jun 2022 09:02:20 -0700

To celebrate episode 200, we go backwards in a major way, look at reviews for the biggest things in Canada, and keep our nonsense, for ONCE, to under an hour.

Thank you all so much for stickin' around, and we'll catch you on the next one.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 199: Say F*ck on Your Own Time

Wed, 01 Jun 2022 08:11:10 -0700

Today's title is brought to you by Applebee's! Spend at least 25 fucks and get a free ticket to Top Gun: Maverick!

See, 'cause the title of Top Gun: Maverick is profane enough, I left it alone.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 198: Silver Dollar Whoopsie

Wed, 25 May 2022 08:48:49 -0700

TODAY! THIS MORNING! We bring Branson Week to a dramatic conclusion, and Jess finds reviews for mouthwash that makes your tongue orange, ruins your taste buds, and damages your gums.

We're keeping it LIGHT over here! FUCK!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 197: Bigfoot Says No to Drugs

Wed, 18 May 2022 08:41:48 -0700

Despite cutting a solid 30 minutes from this ep, you're still getting sick reviews for Outback Steakhouse, a discontinued Bigfoot expedition, and the world's biggest meatball and fork.

C'est impossible!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 196: Three Being Big Bean

Wed, 11 May 2022 08:50:02 -0700

In today's XXL episode, Jess brings us the Pious Parent's Guide for Disney's Dinosaur (2000), and we take in the sights, smells, and breaky breaky hearts of Branson: Day 2.

I kind of hate what I just wrote, looking back at it. Idk what to say. This episode is jam *packed* with flavor.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 195: See How Easily I Go?

Wed, 04 May 2022 08:45:07 -0700

Like, I *just* go. Shwoop!

Today's episode also marks the start of Branson week! And we get a long-time caller, first time listener.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 194: That’s. My. SHADE.

Wed, 27 Apr 2022 08:43:27 -0700

Today's episode is a hurt locker of earthly pleasures, with reviews for garden hoses AND mall Macy's. Hey WHAT?!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 193: Liebfraumilch

Wed, 20 Apr 2022 09:17:11 -0700

In today's show, a spouse is betrayed, an Ibex is murdered, and we Yelp it from a FUCKING MOUNTAIN.

Bye!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 192: Flags of Our Martians

Wed, 13 Apr 2022 08:32:06 -0700

Today's title isn't even a slant rhyme, and I have a *very* liberal (and accurate) definition of slant rhyme. Yes, I'm talking to you. Yes, you're wrong.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 191: Gluten-Free Lap Dances

Wed, 06 Apr 2022 08:52:35 -0700

A lot gets said in today's show without a lot of scripting. TO BE CLEAR, hiring folks with records = GOOD. Being a total Micah Camden about it = badbadbad.

https://www.pdxmonthly.com/eat-and-drink/2018/08/why-is-super-deluxe-rocking-portland-s-fast-food-world

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 190: Bone Broth Booster

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 08:29:09 -0700

In today's show, we sell meat back to vegans, Jess gets down with some slacks, and my reveal that I am, most unfortunately, the asshole.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 189: Hunt for Red Lobstober

Wed, 23 Mar 2022 07:11:36 -0700

I'm certain somebody has done that pun before. I refuse to look it up.

In today's show, Jess also brings some choice cuts from the Pious Parent's Guide to Moving Pictures.

Pious, fwiw, is my go-to first guess in Wordle. SMALL WORLD.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 188: Until the Hands Dropped Off

Wed, 16 Mar 2022 09:12:14 -0700

In today's episode, we enjoy all-carb smoothies, a wealthy steak-eater "continues the experience," and Charles Bukowski fucks an alarm clock.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 187: It Got Unrunny Later

Wed, 09 Mar 2022 10:14:09 -0700

In today's episode, a genderless adult snorts granola.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. It's the ONLY game in town. HELL'S BELLS.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 186: Dead as a Doornail

Wed, 02 Mar 2022 09:36:59 -0700

Kombucha kits and bougie kids toys make for a fantastic new episode. Who knew?! Fuckin' hell.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment, and BOY HOWDY HOT DAMN Y'ALL.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 185: Piss, Pickles, and Onion Juice

Wed, 23 Feb 2022 10:07:48 -0700

In today's show, I ruin my stomach forever, Jess exposes the secrets of onion juice, and I attempt to hand squeeze an onion.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 184: Small Chicken Nugget Crumbs

Wed, 16 Feb 2022 09:57:19 -0700

Kiss it on both sides, let it ride!

If it doesn't come back, you've done it right!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 183: Fun for Lady or Brother!

Wed, 09 Feb 2022 09:27:46 -0700

TONIGHT! We conclude Jess' 2-part special: Creamer?! I barely know her! We also look at reviews for stuff bachelorettes can do before their lives are ruined forever.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 182: I’m a Creamer Goblin

Wed, 02 Feb 2022 10:11:08 -0700

In today's show, Jess admits her biggest character flaw in her 2-part barnbuster, and I bring reviews for the best place to find hot lads.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 181: Jess-It-Yourself!

Wed, 26 Jan 2022 09:20:58 -0700

Be not throw stones if you live in glass!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 180: I Don’t DO Chicken

Wed, 19 Jan 2022 09:49:39 -0700

In today's show, Jess brings more reviews from the land where everything is BIG, and we remind ourselves why people LIKE Chilis?!

Also, the rough cut of this ep was like 2 hours total. Getting it down to our usual hour+ was some kind of miracle.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 179: Content for Ghouls

Wed, 12 Jan 2022 09:48:19 -0700

Today we provide savory and delicious content for a wildly underserved market, with reviews for squirrels, liver, and accent chairs. You're welcome!

Alternate titles for today's show include:

Papadam?

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 178: Determinism? Thank you.

Wed, 05 Jan 2022 09:27:03 -0700

In today's show, Jess introduces the nightmarish Wheel of Wheels, we eat schnitzeled poultry at the Chicken Guy, and we go on a magical Food Network journey. The Food Network synergy was completely unintentional.

This, our funniest episode in a while, is under an hour! I genuinely don't know how we did it, given... all of it.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 177: It’s Your Ass, Forever

Wed, 29 Dec 2021 09:26:23 -0700

My favorite hyperpop album.

In today's show, Jess reads reviews for restaurants in North Dakota (???) and I bring a new recurring topic for the good times and the bad.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 176: Peppa‘s Hall of Horrors

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 06:57:50 -0700

in today's holiday special, we're enjoying some very old pork in our favorite little book nook. If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment. Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/ Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/ Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/ We're traveling in Tennessee. Please please drink heavily on our behalf.

Ep 175: Grandpa Laments the Outhouse

Wed, 15 Dec 2021 09:44:45 -0700

Hey folks! Sheesh! This one's got "Let's Talk about Slacks, Baby!" and some reviews for naughty ornaments.

Okay!? Jeeze!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 174: Veganuary!

Wed, 08 Dec 2021 09:33:47 -0700

In today's show, Jess brings a pretentious palate of brews, we read reviews for a vegan cheese shop, and Jess declares that it is, indeed, time to eat out.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 173: Bun Length is Better

Wed, 01 Dec 2021 10:01:29 -0700

In today's very tense episode, we talk post-punk, post-WWII architecture, and TGI Fridays. We've also got reviews for hot dogs.

This episode is brought to you by sick days. SICK DAYS. It feels good when you do it, except when it doesn't anymore.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 172: The Gobble Goblin Cometh

Wed, 24 Nov 2021 09:16:35 -0700

Happy 2nd Halloween everyone! We're not done being spooky yet, and Jess has proven that by resurrecting the dead! (Allrecipes, that is).

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 171: Feels Good When You Do It!

Wed, 17 Nov 2021 09:51:54 -0700

In today's jumbo-sized episode (we tried y'all), we celebrate all things infrastructure with reviews for Fort Lauderdale and Miami, as well as Central Maine Power. We also lose our fucking minds a little.

FREE PUB TRIVIA made by ME this FRIDAY at 7:00 PST, twitch.tv/criticeveryone. Chill to join, no login needed, just pull up the quiz site and enjoy 6 rounds of utter madness with some fellow listeners.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 170: The Jessica Does It Everytime

Wed, 10 Nov 2021 09:34:46 -0700

In today's cursed program, rich people waste even more money, I get sweaty at the TGI Fridays, and Jess plays Burger, Braise, Best Friend with her favorite woodland critters.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 169: Clog Up My Pita

Wed, 03 Nov 2021 08:52:08 -0700

Today's wordy title is brought to you by anecdotes, olives, and surprise recurring segments.

This one had a 48-hour turnaround and is so, so good ya'll. Happy 169th!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 168: Where‘s Your God Now, Linus?

Wed, 27 Oct 2021 08:43:03 -0700

Our episodes are getting darker, same as the days and life itself.

Nah, jk, it's just a Spooktober special! Lol. Haha

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 167: The Sweet Release of Death

Wed, 20 Oct 2021 08:46:39 -0700

In today's show, Jess does a Talk Shit, Bring Your Own Drag, and I bring reviews for raw cookie dough shops.

It's a spooky raw foods special, whether dough© like it or not!

Also, Community Night tomorrow! Twitch.tv/criticeveryone, 7:00 PST.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 166: Romaines of the Bidet

Wed, 13 Oct 2021 08:40:19 -0700

In today's show, we again take a deep, nasty dive into Chipotle's wikipedia page, and Jess finds a new reason to loathe Trader Joe's.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 165: Steve Combs Delivered My Baby

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 08:53:26 -0700

In today's show, we ring in the 12 weeks of Christmas, Jess takes us to the worst neighborhood on Earth, and I bring reviews for White Stuff™.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 164: The Lost Episode (of Kitchen Nightmares)

Wed, 29 Sep 2021 08:50:12 -0700

In today's show, we look at reviews for Oceana Grill, a New Orleans restaurant that sued Kitchen Nightmares twice (and won). Meanwhile, we head back to the book nook, because we should and we're supposed to.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 163: Let‘s Talk about Slacks! (Baby!)

Wed, 22 Sep 2021 08:59:12 -0700

In today's show, J-bones debuts a sci-fi serial for no clear reason, and Jess debuts a recurring pants segment for *all* of the reasons.

We haven't skipped a week in 3 years and we're STILL TAKING CREATIVE RISKS?! POR QUOI?!

Community night this Friday @ 7:00 PST! Join us if you're bored! Twitch.tv/criticeveryone

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Buy our shirts and cups: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 162: Gun Owners and Gravity Falls

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 08:53:06 -0700

In today's show, we explore the *wild* reviews for the roadside attraction that inspired Gravity Falls, and we also play a few *thrilling* rounds of Whale Spotting!

Also, the next Community Night is Friday the 24th! For those who mind such things.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

MERCH: https://www.designbyhumans.com/shop/CriticEveryone/

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Check out our merch at Design by Humans! (I think)

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 161: Wall-to-Wall Peters

Wed, 08 Sep 2021 09:01:36 -0700

In today's part one of yet another double record, we look at reviews for virtual game credits and Ree Drummond's goopy oatmeal bars.

How are you folks hangin' in there? Doin' okay? Hope so.

In today's show, we read reviews for a toy *everybody* forgot, and we take a magical trip to the Enchanted Forest, Oregon.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Check out our merch at Design by Humans! (I think)

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 160: Universal Basic Willy

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 08:42:57 -0700

In today's show, we read reviews for a toy *everybody* forgot, and we take a magical trip to the Enchanted Forest, Oregon.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 159: Satan's Mike 'n Ike's

Wed, 25 Aug 2021 08:56:40 -0700

In today's radically unhinged show, I bring reviews for Chiles, and Jess brings more booknook. Gotta hit the hits before the school year starts, y'all.

Also, a big shout-out to all my girls named Bruce.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 158: Terrarium of Shame

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 09:02:27 -0700

In today's show, Jess brings some delightful reviews for airport cheeseburgers, and I suck up the airwaves with a single trip report from TripAdvisor.

Additional music credits: Whoever did the trailer for Roland Emmerich's 2009 disaster film 2012. Probably Todd. Fucking Todd.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 157: Folk Wisdom by Anna Kendrick

Wed, 11 Aug 2021 08:17:27 -0700

In today's show, we learn some ol' folk wisdom about horseback riding, Wendy's orders, and comical shotgun noises.

Home-made trivia this Friday! This time it's 80s-themed (for no good reason). Twitch.tv/criticeveryone, 7:00 PST. Get it while it's hot!

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 156: The Dinosaur that Killed Wayne Knight

Wed, 04 Aug 2021 08:25:16 -0700

On today's show, giant cassowaries eat our Triscuits, Nebraskans eat unseasoned hot pockets, and Stacey blows our tiny minds.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 155: The Last Blockbuster on Earth

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 08:22:25 -0700

In today's show, Jess FINALLY brings reviews for the last Blockbuster in Bend, OR. It only took 155 episodes, am I right?

We also have reviews for candy cigarettes.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 154: Sticky Box for Bad

Wed, 21 Jul 2021 08:36:49 -0700

TONIGHT! We celebrate the best humanity's got to offer, with reviews for plastic totes on Amazon and reviews for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Later, a crowd favorite gives Jonathan a jingle!

Genuinely one of our better eps.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 153: Get It While It's Hot!

Wed, 14 Jul 2021 11:30:19 -0700

TONIGHT! Brother of the show Oliver joins us for a wild evening of genetic testing, active volcanoes, and biblical films starring Jude Law.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 152: Skip, Skip to the Tip

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 08:51:13 -0700

In today's show, Jess celebrates indoor dining by Eating Bad in the Neighborhad, and I bring reviews for British trash dumps. Literally.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

I did really hug Tommy Wiseau once.

Ep 151: Stacey and the 4th of Caprese

Wed, 30 Jun 2021 08:04:31 -0700

In today's show, a new character joins the cast, we celebrate TWO birthdays, and the entire city melts around us.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

Good luck in the heat folks. We all gonna float on okay, as they say.

Ep 150: A Squeeze and Stir Situation

Wed, 23 Jun 2021 08:29:09 -0700

This episode was recorded under extreme duress.

Freon! Turn it on once and live forever.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

Good luck in the heat folks. We all gonna float on okay, as they say.

Ep 149: Pineapple When It's Most Fertile

Wed, 16 Jun 2021 08:07:00 -0700

Y'know, for when you're trying to have one.

In today's show, Jess celebrates every scholar with beer that tastes like "overripe peach nectar" and "wet wheat bread." Meanwhile, we take a trip to the only town named Peabody that has a pronunciation guide on Wikipedia.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

See y'all next Wednesday!

Ep 148: Stephen Sondheim's The Mummy (1999)

Wed, 09 Jun 2021 08:11:54 -0700

You know what, sometimes we ARE a movie reviews podcast.

And yes I know and no don't @ me.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

See y'all next Wednesday!

Ep 147: Loose Security Nipple

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 08:15:47 -0700

In which Jess brings reviews the Amazon's easiest to lose product, and I bring reviews for Liquid Death.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

We're moving this weekend, yet you're getting another episode next Wednesday? Wild.

Ep 146: Whoooom!

Wed, 26 May 2021 08:10:20 -0700

Hi! Today's episode was recorded in a birdhouse.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

We're moving in two weeks. The fact that y'all aren't going to miss an episode is fucking legendary.

Ep 145: Sugar We're Goin' Down Sporkin'

Wed, 19 May 2021 08:32:44 -0700

Tonight, a grapefruit eater tries to get into heaven, yelpers review the DC metro, and thousands of theater kids remember sporks.

And at less than an hour long, we all have time to remember sporks.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? That's our advertising for the moment.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 144: Doing Actual Real Ecstasy

Wed, 12 May 2021 07:23:50 -0700

TONIGHT: We test Jess' ability to turn down cigarettes, read reviews about whole cities, and rebrand a very old segment.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? You're our only hope to get the show in more drums.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 143: Many Metaphors for WWII

Wed, 05 May 2021 07:44:37 -0700

In today's Oscars-themed episode, we've got reviews for trash bags AND a trash can. We also have the HOTTEST of takes on McDonald's in the UK.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? You're our only hope to get our numbers going up again.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 142: Too Burrito to Fail

Wed, 28 Apr 2021 08:38:10 -0700

In today's episode, Jess brings delusional reviews for Ferrero Roche, and I bring a seminal, show-defining segment about Chipotle's numerous plagues.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? You're our only hope to get our numbers going up again.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 141: Ken Burns Has My Family!

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 07:47:27 -0700

Alternative titles for today's episode include:

Yoga Bones
Stretching to Joy Division
The Case of the Wandering Toothbrush
A Tale of Two Pinkberries
It's Not Defamation if You Have 400 Listeners

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? You're our only hope to get our numbers going up again.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 140: The Game that Broke Johnny's Heart

Wed, 14 Apr 2021 07:59:27 -0700

In today's episode, we take a sip of the flattest of whites, and we learn about the phone game that ruined my life.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? Our advertising is done for the foreseeable future.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 139: Tiny Hedgehog Banker

Wed, 07 Apr 2021 07:41:59 -0700

In today's episode, Jess brings reviews for the world's largest rotating globe. We quickly learn that when some folks look up, they see the stars. Others, the space between them, and nothing more.

We also learn that Garmin is still turning a profit, which is cool.

If you like the show, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? Our advertising is done for the foreseeable future.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for community nights, twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 138: Hot, Steamy Pizza

Wed, 31 Mar 2021 07:43:12 -0700

In today's episode, Jess explores the seedy underground market of DIY tattoos. And by seedy underground, I mean you can just buy a tattoo gun on Amazon. Later, Toni gets a call from a very special friend.

It seems like a decent chunk of our new listeners are sticking around. Thanks! Also, PLEASE TELL A FRIEND? Our advertising is done for the foreseeable future.

Otherwise, drop us a review or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join other listeners for TRIVIA BY TINA, this Friday (April 2nd): twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 137: Landscaper of Notre Dame

Wed, 24 Mar 2021 07:37:44 -0700

In today's show, Jess takes us back to the capital 'D' Denny's, and I say some very incendiary things about seminal and beloved rock opera The Wall.

Hey if you're new to the show and sticking around, please tell a friend? Our advertising is done for the foreseeable future.

Otherwise, drop us a review, or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 136: Slippery Hot Dog Surface

Wed, 17 Mar 2021 08:31:41 -0700

JUST TO BE CLEAR, we did do a theme song for today's Getting Hot with the Dogs, but I cut the whole thing because it was truly horrible to the human ear. GROWTH CAN STILL HAPPEN, PEOPLE.

Today's episode also features Potato Head and the wooden shoe-tying practice shoe SOME OF US had to use as children.

Hey if you're new to the show and sticking around, please tell a friend? We're done advertising for the foreseeable future (until a better option emerges, anyway).

Otherwise, drop us a review, or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 135: Not My Precious Currency!

Wed, 10 Mar 2021 09:14:07 -0700

In today's show, Jess explores Creationist museums in the UK, and we hear a post-apocalyptic love story every bit as good as Twilight.

Hey if you're new to the show and sticking around, please tell a friend? Our advertising is done for the foreseeable future.

Otherwise, drop us a review, or reach out! We love to hear from folks.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 134: Cats! The Genetic Opera

Wed, 03 Mar 2021 07:32:34 -0700

Struggled with a title on this one. Something about DNA testing your cats (don't do that) and breastfeeding your baby in the Jordan's Furniture (do that).

That's right, this one's got the Jordan's Furniture complex of Reading, MA. A place that some of our listeners, we've recently learned, know all too well.

If you like the show, TELL A FRIEND. It's our only hope.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 133: Beauty and the Applebeast

Wed, 24 Feb 2021 09:56:18 -0700

Well folks, when I realized today's episode was 7 minutes too long, I took another pass through the audio. Trimmed the pauses. Clipped the follow-ups. Made the episode super late for our east coast friends. Aaaand now it's 6:30 too long. You're welcome!

This one's about Applebees and the US economy.

If you like the show, TELL A FRIEND. It's our only hope.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 132: Meatloaf's Porn Name

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 07:57:45 -0700

Hello to our newest of new listeners! On today's show, we explore the AllRecipes gender binary, we read thirsty reviews for Chicken Run, and we bury AllRecipes in the *fucking ground*.

Also, this episode was uploaded from my phone. We're lucky to have power, and we hope y'all are hangin' in there.

If you like the show, please TELL A FRIEND? Or find us and let us know you like it:

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods"

Ep 131: Stiff as an Aged Cheddar

Wed, 10 Feb 2021 09:23:57 -0700

This one's about cleaning gak, quick-ship mattresses, and keyboards you can eat your dinner off of.

I also make many unfortunate jokes about Dorito crumbs and ... worse things.

If you like the show, TELL A FRIEND. It's our only hope.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 130: A Parade of Karens

Wed, 03 Feb 2021 09:14:29 -0700

This show's got it all. Appalling college professors. Karens on the march. And so many people getting cultured cream out of spicket.

It's the best episode we've done in a while, and we've been pumped to put it up.

And hey, if you enjoy it, please tell us a friend, or drop us a review. The first one especially.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 129: Kissing in the Ditch

Wed, 27 Jan 2021 08:47:54 -0700

In today's season premiere, Jess decides to Yelp It on a Mountain, while I take us on a much needed trip, JUST LIKE THE OLD DAYS. :'(

If you're new to the show, welcome! If you enjoy the show and decide to stay, please share it! We love that stuff, and we love to hear from folks, too:

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 128: When the Walmart Won't Cut It

Wed, 20 Jan 2021 08:10:10 -0700

Join us for a wild season finale, where Jess brings reviews for everyone's favorite hot dog stand with a membership, and I drop some spicy thoughts on hot mushroom cocoa.

It'll make sense eventually. See y'all in SEASON 2! (aka NEXT WEEK AS USUAL!)

Hey if you've got friends, please tell them about the show! We love it like mad when you do that.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 127: The Brave $300 Toaster

Wed, 13 Jan 2021 11:24:43 -0700

What I brought for today's show was meant to blow down the house, but Jess's $300 smart toaster/affront to humanity steals the show.

Hey if you've got friends, please tell them about the show! We love it like mad when you do that.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 126: Gettin' Hops with the Snobs

Wed, 06 Jan 2021 08:55:37 -0700

An extra long episode for an extra long winter.

Please tell a friend about the show?! We *love* it when you do. And continued thanks to those who have helped contribute to the ad-fund. It's been very strange and humbling. Please stop now.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 125: Music for Cats

Wed, 30 Dec 2020 08:41:23 -0700

In today's show, Jess brings reviews for midwestern Applebees with 0 game plan, and I bring Music for Cats with every game plan.

A huge thanks to everyone who chipped into our ad-drive! It went far better than we ever expected, and the ad buy is already in the works. If you haven't chipped in yet and would like to, we're leaving everything open for a few more days.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 124: On Tony! On Bologna!

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 10:02:17 -0700

Hey, it's the holidays! We've got great, holiday-adjacent stuff for you today.

And we've made it possible for you to give, if you'd like to, a one-time gift to the show, so we can buy some advertising.

Venmo: @CriticEveryone

Thanks for sticking with us y'all, and we're gonna do our best to make this a real thing in the new year.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 123: Hard, Skinny, and Overlooked

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 09:08:11 -0700

I want to get out ahead of this one and say that our holiday special, which we already recorded, is our best work in months of quarantine. This one is uh, oh boy. It's been a tough month folks.

And yeah we're aware of the static in the second half.

Hey folks, we need help growing. We want this thing to be good! Spread the word, reach out, we'll take any and all help.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 122: Can I Nibble Your Patty?

Wed, 09 Dec 2020 09:44:22 -0700

In today's show, Jess hunts for rare and exotic beans, and I get a call from an old friend.

Hey folks, we need help growing. We want this thing to be... good. Spread the word, reach out, we'll take any and all ... help. My plans for advertising have maybe fallen through, so *throws a ream of paper*. Anyway, we love y'all, and thanks for bein' you.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 121: Christmas, Take the Wheel

Wed, 02 Dec 2020 09:06:21 -0700

In today's show, Jess ushers in the holidays with reviews for bad tokens of good friendships, and I make a new segment when I could've simply phoned it in.

Hey, please let someone know about the show? It'd sure be great if ya did!

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

You'll always be my Weirdo #2.

Ep 120: The First Second Halloween Special

Wed, 25 Nov 2020 07:42:00 -0700

This episode features one of the funniest reviews I've ever found. It's lived with me and haunted me since recording. (It's the tomato one, for the record.)

Meanwhile, Jess has a bounty of reviews for foods pretending to be other foods, including and up to hamburger cookies.

We're proud of this one, and we hope you enjoy it and find some comfort this holiday, whatever that looks like for you.

Of the many new traditions for Second Halloween, one is giving where possible to indigenous/first nation causes. We've included a few options below, but local is a good way to go as well.

Women Empowering Women for Indigenous Nations

http://www.wewin04.org/

American Indian College Fund

https://collegefund.org/

Native American Rights Fund

https://www.narf.org/

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

Hold your jugulars close, folks.

Ep 119: Well, It's No Fudruckers

Wed, 18 Nov 2020 09:46:43 -0700

In today's episode, Jess brings a Hollow Earth edition of Go Yelp It on a Mountain, and a reviewer uses four exclamation marks and four question marks, interspersed evenly.

We LOVE to hear from people. Also, PLEASE spread the word about the show! It really helps.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

Much love to you all!

Ep 118: My Chemical Romance

Wed, 11 Nov 2020 10:00:10 -0700

Woof, kind of a long one today! Sorry about that, huge oversight over on this end. Hungry eyes and all that.

This one has reviews for cat feeders and their demon rulers, and we find some tums that AREN'T made of deadly chemicals.

See a funny review in the wild? Send it our way!

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN DO WE THINK

Ep 117: Frederick on Fire

Wed, 04 Nov 2020 08:55:48 -0700

Hey folks. Hope you all are DOING OKAY. I am, at time of writing, feeling strictly *okay* (with a deep undercurrent of the same raging anxiety that many of us are currently working through).

This episode was intended to give y'all a break from the election. We don't really talk about it. So if that's something you're looking for, we got you.

It's also about novelty socks and Penny Dell puzzle books.

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

Much love to you all!

Ep 116: Did I Curse My Baby?

Wed, 28 Oct 2020 07:50:57 -0700

In today's episode, we explore the magical ubiquity of Spirit Halloween, and I introduce, and immediately regret, a new Halloween character.

See you all for Second Halloween!

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 115: The Fun Thing About Demons

Wed, 21 Oct 2020 08:08:46 -0700

On today's programme, Jess does a Halloween burgle of another one of my segments, while I get hot with the scariest of dogs.

It's a pre-First-Halloween Special Charlie Brown!

Join us for game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 114: Chili's Afterglow

Wed, 14 Oct 2020 07:59:36 -0700

Hey! This one's got two fan-favorite segments! Enjoy!

See a funny review in the wild?! Email it to us!

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Join us for community game nights: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Make billions of money with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 113: Warp 1, Engage!

Wed, 07 Oct 2020 08:13:43 -0700

This one has a ten minute intro! I'm takin' us on a trip to Vulcan, Canada, and Jess has a delicious slice of Whoopsie-Bezie.

We're *so* tired but we're hangin' in there, and yooouuu can too.

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Allow conspiracies to fester with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 112: I Bleed Gogurt

Wed, 30 Sep 2020 09:25:26 -0700

Good Wednesday! Or Thursday! What day is it?

In today's show, Jess accepts her wholesome-core lifestyle, and I bring a new counterpart for the Belligerent Bibliophobe's Book Nook.

Ep 111: Vungle Error

Wed, 23 Sep 2020 05:24:41 -0700

Hi! Is anyone else ever surprised by how fast our theme song is? It's slower in my head, every time.

Anyway, I did Click Me Baby One More Time (CMBOMT) for this one, and Jess has a BRAND NEW SEGMENT which is maybe our best new segment in a while.

Hi!

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Distort reality with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 110: Total Eclipse of the Funny

Wed, 16 Sep 2020 08:57:36 -0700

Today's episode was recorded during some pretty dark times. We both unintentionally brought recipes, including one for Pizza Soup. So that's not great.

But hey! If you have the means, there's a lot of ways you can help folks affected by the Oregon wildfires. Here's two:

https://oregoncf.org/oregon-wildfire-relief-recovery/community-rebuilding-fund/

https://www.mrgfoundation.org/rogue-valley-relief-fund1/

Stay safe everyone!

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Distort the election for money: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep109: Kombucha Lies

Wed, 09 Sep 2020 09:23:51 -0700

Today we tour another delectable location with the worlds favorite food based enigma, Carmel Sandwich-Eggo.

Jess, on the other hand, thinks spoons are very interesting.

A lot of swearing in this one folks, proceed with caution.

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Spread fake news with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 108: A Beach Without Sand

Wed, 02 Sep 2020 08:22:36 -0700

On today's An Atlas Obscured, giant fruit is back on the menu. Jess did it just for you. Let it be a bright, shiny reminder that good things can still happen.

Meanwhile, I brought reviews for a fan. My content serves no one.

Hey friends, please tell someone about our show! If you can. We love you either way, and I promise I'll get some merch going soon.

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Spread fake news with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 107: Gummin' Up the Works

Wed, 26 Aug 2020 09:24:36 -0700

In today's episode, Jonathan does an embarrassing impersonation of the Yogscast, Jess reads reviews for the Marfa Lights, and a lone biker rips our parking lot a new one.

Hey friends, please tell someone about our show! If you can. We love you either way, and I promise I'll get some merch going soon.

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Spread fake news with us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 106: Fun Facts with Jess

Wed, 19 Aug 2020 08:42:32 -0700

In today's pod, we put a bit to bed, and bring a new bit into the world (and it's about board games, I mean c'mon, so choice.)

Also, here is a link to Garnet the pup's GoFundMe. Check it out if you can! https://ca.gofundme.com/f/Garnet-surgery

Hey, y'all are the best. If you wouldn't mind tellin' a friend about the show, we'd appreciate it all the way deep deep down. Or, reach out!

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Facebook us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 105: Second Halloween

Wed, 12 Aug 2020 08:33:01 -0700

In today's episode, a duck tries to buy birth control, Jess proposes replacing Thanksgiving with 2nd Halloween, and we eventually go to grad school.

We also talk about the museum in Nowhere, TN that has pieces of Noah's Ark.

Hey, y'all are the best. If you wouldn't mind tellin' a friend about the show, we'd appreciate it all the way deep deep down. Or, reach out!

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Facebook us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 104: Turn Off the Dork

Wed, 05 Aug 2020 07:15:12 -0700

Heyo! Yes? No? Okay. We've done this show for two years now. It feels ... exhausting. But good. Times are very strange, and difficult. We all deserve more, and we'll get there.

We already did a big 100 eps thing, so this is a pretty normal show. We got Book Nook. We got peanut butter. Everything a growing podlistener needs.

Cheers!

Hey, y'all are the best. If you wouldn't mind tellin' a friend about the show, we'd appreciate it all the way deep deep down. Or, reach out!

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Facebook us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 103: Technically a Complete Sentence

Wed, 29 Jul 2020 08:21:17 -0700

Well folks, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin'. And I know that when I feel teary eyed for the old days, I head to the Cracker Barrel. Or the Chili's if it's someone's birthday. Because you presumably like the person whose aged, and you do not take them to a Cracker Barrel for their birthday. It's literally the least you can do.

Hey, y'all are the best. If you wouldn't mind tellin' a friend about the show, we'd appreciate it all the way deep deep down. Or, reach out!

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Facebook us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 102: Be the Change, Dylan

Wed, 22 Jul 2020 08:27:15 -0700

The Grosser Green Grocer is BACK ON THE MENU, friends!

In today's episode, Jess takes us back to the Kroger, kickin' and screamin', and she won't even get us those limited edition Keeblers with the triple diple fudge in them.

Also, I FINALLY bring reviews for tea.

Hey, y'all are the best. If you wouldn't mind tellin' a friend about the show, we'd appreciate it all the way deep deep down. Or, reach out!

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Facebook us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 101: The 4 Genders

Wed, 15 Jul 2020 08:21:29 -0700

When I posted a teaser to our Twitter, including a product name that says "for Child kid boy and Girl," one of our listeners immediately responded, "ah, the four genders."

So now here we are. This one's got squirt guns and Guidestones.

Hey, y'all are the best. If you wouldn't mind tellin' a friend about the show, we'd appreciate it all the way deep deep down. Or, reach out!

Hang out with us: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Facebook us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 100: Cocktail Tiiiime!

Wed, 08 Jul 2020 08:05:32 -0700

Well folks, we did it. Thanks for stickin' with us for so long. Hope you enjoy, and we'll catch you for 200.

Watch us play games: twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Yell at us: foreveracritic@gmail.com

Tweet at us: @CriticEveryone

Facebook us: Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Listen to the other great shows on our network: https://xraypod.com/

As Tommy Wiseau once signed my copy of The Room: "be goods."

Ep 99: Plastic to the Touch

Wed, 01 Jul 2020 07:57:41 -0700

Did you know that people review small plastic animal figurines on Amazon? I mean, you shouldn't have to. Surely that's a product you can pretty much nail in one go. RIGHT?!

We're also makin' a quick stop in Farmville before cruising to episode 100.

Things are slowin' down for us a bit on the downloads/reviews/new listeners front. The best way YOU can support the show is to help us get the word out! Also, we love to hear from folks, especially if you're a new listener.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

We're streamin' games most weekdays! Just like everyone else on the planet! But ours is, y'know, nice.

twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Ep 98: Dirty Little Hot Dog Vendors

Wed, 24 Jun 2020 08:16:44 -0700

In today's episode, a car thief practices their skills on a scooter, a sea lion watches, and a hot dog vendor with perfectly clean hands wonders why people are so terrible.

Episode 100 is coming up! Do you have topic ideas?! Send them in! Because we don't.

Also, we love new listeners, and word of mouth is the only game in town. If you like the show and know someone that might enjoy it too, let 'em know for us? You'll have our sincerest thanks. Or, just reach out; we love to hear from people for pretty much any reason.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

We're streamin' games every weekday! Just like everyone else on the planet! But ours is, y'know, cool. (we got bored don't judge us).

twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Ep 97: Dr. Illuminati and the Mile High Ghosts

Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:13:29 -0700

In today's episode, I explore the simple American joys of the drive-in theater, while Jess tackles the complicated and conspiratorial what-have-yous hidden beneath the eldritch halls of the Denver International Airport.

We also discuss a devil horse and its anatomical correctness.

Hey folks, we love new listeners, and word of mouth is the only game in town. If you like the show and know someone that might enjoy it too, let 'em know for us? You'll have our sincerest thanks. Or, just reach out; we love to hear from people for pretty much any reason.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

We're streaming video games! Just like everyone else on the planet! But ours is, y'know, cool. (we got bored don't judge us).

twitch.tv/criticeveryone

Regular streaming schedule coming soon!

Ep 96: Jeff Bezos' Special Internet Meat

Wed, 10 Jun 2020 07:55:24 -0700

Sometimes, I think our best episodes involve random restaurants and food off Amazon. Lucky for you, today's episode is *deeply* mired in random restaurants and food off Amazon. *chef's kiss*

Hey folks, we've been outta advertising options (and bubblegum) for a long while, and word of mouth is the only game in town. If you like the show and know someone that might enjoy it too, let 'em know for us. Or, just reach out; we love to hear from people for pretty much any reason.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

Episode 100 is coming up. So is Jess' birthday. I don't know what I'm doing for either! *chef's kiss*

Ep 95: Handy Randy's Expanding Barfocracy

Wed, 03 Jun 2020 06:52:18 -0700

Hey folks, a lot has changed since we recorded this one. We're choosing to keep our usual upload schedule because we know some people really look forward to it, but we cut most of our call to action.

Please consider donating to a local bail fund or the Emergency Release Fund:

https://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory

https://docs.google.com/document/u/1/d/1GsfJnX62CLaYtZ3Ewd0VVgh7J-W6vIdUBC0x4qsvA8c/mobilebasic

https://emergencyreleasefund.com/

Or please donate to any number of nonprofits that can always use support:

https://www.naacpldf.org/about-us/

https://idabwellssociety.org/donate/

https://www.cuapb.org/what_we_do

Hope all is well, and we'll be back next Wednesday.

Ep 94: All Outta Bubblegum

Wed, 27 May 2020 08:48:05 -0700

Look, some people like knitting. Some people like bird-watching. And some people like bullying strangers on the Food Network because those strangers insulted Bobby Flay! And that's okay. We can meet those folks where they are, by sharing their bizarre behavior on our podcast.

If that doesn't get you excited, I don't know what will. Caramel Sandwicheggo? Maybe. Hard to say.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

Hey, it's Wednesday. Have a cold one, on us. You've probably earned it.

Ep 93: The Junkyard Anniversary

Wed, 20 May 2020 08:24:59 -0700

In today's show, Jess introduces a new recurring segment. I know, I'm excited too. My stuff is pretty like whatever you know it's like gross foods that people made and reviewed and like cheese and bacon and stuff. But when Jess has a new recurring segment, ALL bets are off.

Y'all are the best. We keep saying it, but it's true. We're gettin' that thing where are dreams are super vivid because we've been isolated for so long? It's not great. And look, I'm gonna be upfront with y'all. We could use more listeners. If you know someone that might enjoy the show, let 'em know for us. Or, just reach out; we love to hear from people for pretty much any reason.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

Ep 92: Bill Belichick's Long Halftime Walk

Wed, 13 May 2020 08:15:02 -0700

In today's pretty long episode, Jess takes us back to the IHOB. It therefore doesn't really matter what I did because IHOB reviews always win all the time, especially when there's a perfectly good Denny's RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD.

Also, when you're not telling a friend about the show or leaving us a review, send us your football names! You can reach us at any of these places:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

Do you like video games?! Play Cook Serve Delicious 3!? We're currently a bit obsessed.

Ep 91: Hotboxing to ABBA

Wed, 06 May 2020 08:29:16 -0700

WOOF. Let me tell ya folks, we are glad to have this one out of the factory, on the sales floor, and out of our lives. What a right and proper mess. In today's episode, Jess pits chik'n nugs in a one-on-one cage match, while I find an excuse to rip used car lot jingles off the internet and put them in our podcast.

COMMERCIALS REFERENCED IN TODAY'S EPISODE:

L2T Media - "Ted Russell Nissan - If It'll Drive... It's Worth $8,500"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZum6giCOhw

West Chevrolet - "August 2018 truck specials"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3ikM-oy3II

skee967 - "Jim Cogdill Dodge Cirque Circus of Savings"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL7BwXPeMEc

We would also like to thank Guillaume Tucker for "Bebop Molecule", which we did indeed wind up using as our ad break bop.

Want to get in touch with us? Here's how! We love to hear from folks, especially right now, when we can use all the human contact we can get.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

Keep on keepin' on, friends.

Ep 90: All Donnies Go to Heaven

Wed, 29 Apr 2020 08:02:01 -0700

In today's episode, we've got a new recurring segment inspired by a listener, and Jess takes us to Australia for another pointless gander at some BIG. THINGS.

A lot of folks have been sending the things that make them smile, and we've tried to respond to you in kind. Keep 'em comin'! Also, we'd love it if you could share this show with someone who might like it.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

The one-for-one program is probably in its last week. What GAMES are ya'll diggin'?

Ep 89: It's a Cookbook!

Wed, 22 Apr 2020 08:13:12 -0700

A coooooookboooooook!

Alternate titles for today's episode include:

Assault on Precinct Saltine
Don't Gender My Cornchips
Fishloaf
Rachel's Dark Materials
Hotdogs in the Wind

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

What MUSIC is making you smile?! We still need to check out the new Fiona Apple, so no need to mention that one.

Ep 88: Do Ya'll Remember Malls?

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 06:20:50 -0700

ALL HAIL THE GREAT DAVE CHILIIIIIIIIII'S!

For new listeners, all Chili's higher-ups are named Dave. There, now you know everything we know.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network: https://xraypod.com/

Actually, if ya'll have any obscure bad TV suggestions, we could use those. We got desperate and tried Property Virgins last night. We need help.

Ep 87: Pissbody La Croix

Wed, 08 Apr 2020 08:02:38 -0700

In today's episode, we keep the comfort food a-comin'! You want bad discussions about classic films? You want good discussions about sloppy sandwiches? You want actual play Pathfinder narrated by Jonathan Frakes?

Well, we have the first two.

Hey, get in touch with us with the things that are making you happy! We're doing a one-for-one exchange. Like, if you send us a poem, we send you a poem. Or gif for gif. Game recommendation for game recommendation. That kind of thing. Or, send us a message anywhere requesting a dodo code in Animal Crossing! I'll make it happen.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network!: https://xraypod.com/

We're still a hard pass on Tiger King, but a hard yes on The Price is Right.

Ep 86: Blue Eyes White Jesus

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 07:16:27 -0700

In today's episode, Jess uses her big brain to make isolation fun, and I follow the advice of our loyal Midwest Whisperer. When combined, you get an episode that is perhaps a little desperate, but hangin' in there.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network!: https://xraypod.com/

Just don't send us recommendations to watch Tiger King. We might when things are less wild IRL.

BONUS: More Funkos, Now!

Sun, 29 Mar 2020 11:54:58 -0700

Hope ya'll are hangin' in there! The radio station that now hosts our podcast put out a general call for content, so we thought we would give it our best, FCC-friendly shot. We're not sure if it actually is 100% FCC friendly, or if they will want to air it, but we thought y'all could use some extra jokes regardless.

Take care friends, and we'll catch ya' next Wednesday.

Ep 85: Kent Hovind's Bananas

Wed, 25 Mar 2020 07:01:55 -0700

Today's title works as both a possessive and a contraction.

Also, we want to make extra clear that this episode was recorded on March 15th, so the things we say about going to the grocery store are less than ideal now.

Hey, get in touch with us with the things that are making you happy! It won't be mentioned until our next episode, but we thought it would be nice to go one-for-one on nice things. Like, if you send us a poem, we send you a poem. Or gif for gif. Game recommendation for game recommendation. That kind of thing.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our network!: https://xraypod.com/

Y'all are the best.

Ep 84: 5 Heapin' Heinzfuls

Wed, 18 Mar 2020 07:08:24 -0700

When bbcgoodfood.com entered our lives, we thought we had met a new friend. A new source of joy and myrth. Instead, our bullheaded curiosity merely unleashed a godless anger upon the world, a restless hunger that never sleeps. bbcgoodfood.com, the sower of madness, come from aeon's past to reap the souls of the innocent.

Meanwhile, Jess brings some tight reviews for Amazon's many eggcessories!

If you've got friends, then they might like our show. Hard to say, but we'd love if you told 'em. Otherwise, send us any funny reviews you find in the wild, or simply say hello:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Additional credit to Soularflaire for 108. Cue 1 - Haunting-Spooky-Emotive-guitars and bass (Still) (04:23)

I'm sure someone else came up with eggcessories before me, but I can guarantee that they lacked my particular panache this week.

Ep 83: 877-TITS-NOW

Wed, 11 Mar 2020 06:44:32 -0700

This week, Jess informs us all that you can review local news networks on Yelp. I know, I know. Baffling. But it does invite all sorts of fun discussions about JG Wentworth and, apparently, breasts.

Meanwhile, I bring some reviews architecturally distinct McDonalds, and I still don't remember why I settled on that topic.

If you've got friends, then they might like our show. Hard to say, but we'd love if you told 'em. Otherwise, send us any funny reviews you find in the wild, or simply say hello:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Turn the page; wash ye' hands. Turn the page; wash ye' hands.

Ep 82: Of Mario and Luigi

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 07:46:37 -0700

Podbean, our podcast hosting service, now suggests that I "Make a clear, concise name for my episode" in the title field of this submission page. Well, how's "Of Mario and Luigi," Podbean? Those jumpy little bros get referenced like once and never again, so is that clear? Concise?! how about you let me LIVE MY LIFE ONE TIME, PODBEAN!?

Our office has a bee infestation. It's been a trying week. But this episode is the funniest we've produced in a bit, so I really think y'all will like it!

If you've got friends, then they might like our show. Hard to say, but we'd love if you told 'em. Otherwise, send us any funny reviews you find in the wild, or simply say hello:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Sometimes I think to myself "Who watches the Watchmen?" for no good reason. It's never relevant. It just kinda pops up, like an Abba song.

Ep 81: Has No Interest in Holes

Wed, 26 Feb 2020 06:18:00 -0700

Basically, trying to record across town every Sunday at 11 AM was too ambitious. There, I said it. 11 AM across town every Sunday was a real push and a shove, and has created a decidedly f*ck-heavy episode.

We do have that good Nook for you though, and I hope it brightens your morning some regardless.

Thank you again to XRAY.FM for allowing us to use their recording space. We've already not made it in for the next episode due to aforementioned concerns, but hey, two in a row is... not bad?

If you've got friends, then they might like our show. Hard to say, but we'd love if you told 'em. Otherwise, send us any funny reviews you find in the wild, or simply say hello:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Things remain generally afoot and mildly exciting, but again, 11 AM.

Ep 80: Georgia P. Duck

Wed, 19 Feb 2020 07:50:12 -0700

Hi everybody I'm Georgia P. Duck and TODAY's episode sure is a hoot n' a holler. We got snacks for grandmas. We got burgers for grandpas. We got a big top. We got a juggler. We got ten TONS of stolen Ben n Jerry's just WAITIN' for a buyer!

I'm Georgia P. Duck and there are 14 like new Toy-otas on the lot right now. Come on down and listen to these engines purr!

Thank you again to XRAY.FM for allowing us to use their recording space. If you've got friends, then our show just might save their lives. Maybe you should tell 'em? Otherwise, send us any funny reviews you find in the wild, or simply say hello:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Exciting things are afoot, friends. Potentially. Or maybe not. We can never say for sure, and isn't that just the best!

Ep 79: Drunk Shop for Slotdogs

Wed, 12 Feb 2020 07:43:51 -0700

Y'know, I think Jess's topic says it all: pirate-themed miniature golf courses. I mean, come on. There just isn't anyone else on the internet churning out this kind of top-tier content. Plus, as a bonus, you also get a vegetarian prattling on about hotdog accessories.

WHAT MORE COULD WE POSSIBLY OFFER BUT OUR VERY SOULS THEMSELVES.

Listen, if you've got friends, then they need our show. We're the Turboman doll they never got from THEIR dads. Otherwise, get in touch with us, or drop us a review somewhere. We'll be posting pics related to today's episode on Twitter (and maybe FB?!)

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

We recorded our next episode in a proper studio, so get pumped. (Though we have no clue yet how it turned out. So actually, reserve pump for now.)

Ep 78: Luigi's Hawaiian Calzones

Wed, 05 Feb 2020 07:47:55 -0700

TONIGHT, on Kitchen Nightmares! Gordon Ramsay heads to Southern California, where he meets two brothers who can't STAND to be around each other, and a wife, no one can stand to be around!

More importantly, Jess has reviews for America's corniest roadside attractions, and she FINALLY gets to talk Trek. Time for you to do what no Starfleet Captain ever could: buckle up.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

I love winter but I'm 29 and at a point where I love tomatoes more, so let's maybe hurry this shit along.

Ep 77: The Candle is Unscented

Wed, 29 Jan 2020 07:14:53 -0700

Today's episode features a brand new, very fun intro segment that I think will only get better with repeat visits. The rest of the ep is classic us. We got Yamazon. We got haircuts. We got anxiety, ennui, and unnerving audio mishaps. And, in the final minutes, we have the saddest and strangest of candles. These days, can you ask for anything else?

Yes. I mean, irrelevant now, but just as a reminder. We gotta make demands, y'know.

As a favor to us, please consider tellin' someone you know, like, or even like like about the show. Also, if you haven't reviewed us yet, we would love it if you did. We'll be posting pics related to today's episode on Twitter (and maybe FB?!)

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Cook Serve Delicious! 3?! is coming out sooner than I thought, and my whole morning has been improved as a result.

Ep 76: Big Bready Baby

Wed, 22 Jan 2020 08:01:41 -0700

The daily nutritional values on this episode are frankly pretty abhorrent. The FDA may have to come down and regulate this one. Some day. Once they figure out the whole ketchup = vegetables thing that Reagan done did.

Until then, Jess has reviews for everyone's favorite greasy meal, and I do a town named after everyone's favorite kind of carb. Real two for one big egg, today.

As a favor to us, please consider tellin' someone you know, like, or even like like about the show. Also, if you haven't reviewed us yet, we would love it if you did. You can get in touch via these here channels:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

I would kill to eat some eggs benny right now. In bed. Not even sitting up. Just sort of nibblin' at it from the pillow.

Ep 75: The Ep That Wouldn't Die

Wed, 15 Jan 2020 08:11:29 -0700

In this one, I struggle with sickness, Jess struggles with life, and our apartment struggles with electricity. If you're a new listener, Ep 74 was pretty dope. Like not top 10, but close. Maybe start there?

For the rest of you, this one's got some hot Go Yelp It on a Mountain action, and I bring a whole new segment about capitalism. It's only my 5th or 6th one.

As a favor to us, please consider tellin' someone you know, like, or even like like about the show. Also, if you haven't reviewed us yet, we would love it if you did. You can also get at us here:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

I want to watch a celery eating competition.

Ep 74: Big Trouble in Little Chili's

Wed, 08 Jan 2020 08:43:44 -0700

That's right, I did Chili's again. And I feel very defensive about it for no good reason. Don't even look at me right now. Just say I did good.

Meanwhile, Jess brings some deliciously privileged reviews for the JFK Center and Wolf Trap, and one totally fine review about cornhole.

As a favor to us, please consider tellin' a friend, loved one, or co-conspirator about the show, or drop us a review. We love that stuff. You can also get at us here:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Can I take a NyQuil at 7 AM? Is that cool? Cool, I will then.

Ep 73: The Big Mango

Wed, 01 Jan 2020 10:54:05 -0700

We originally wanted to title this episode "Take No Threats as Bluffs." It's 2020 ya'll, and this time, everyone means it, every time.

In today's episode, Jess takes us on another super-sized roadtrip Down Under, while I get the new year started with some all new bits.

As a favor to us, please consider tellin' a friend, loved one, or co-conspirator about the show, or drop us a review. We love that stuff. You can also get at us here:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Happy New Year, friends. Let's get 'em where it hurts this time.

Ep 72.5: Cats (2019) Review

Thu, 26 Dec 2019 20:44:59 -0700

*SPOILER AHEAD*

Well friends, we watched Cats the Movie Musical, and we just had to rush home and give you some sick Cats the Movie Musical content. Our friend from college Jacob joins us to discuss this fine feature film and what it means for humanity's future.

The audio quality is obviously not up to our usual standard; we slapped this one together pretty quickly and Jacob's mic is the shitty one we used in our first episode. Still, we figured some of you twisted folks would want to hear our unorganized thoughts anyway. Hope you enjoy!

Music used in this episode includes:

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 72: You Were Right, Charlie Brown!

Wed, 25 Dec 2019 08:22:21 -0700

It's December 25th, and you know we're bringing our twisted brand of Adult Swim humor to the joys of the holidays. Jess takes us on another tour of the Pious Parent's Museum of Moving Pictures, and I, y'know, do some holiday stuff. We think the world of ya'll, and we hope you've found some warmth and happiness, whatever that may be.

As a gift to us, please consider lettin' someone know about the show! Word of mouth is the best Amazon gift card money can buy. Otherwise, COME TALK TO US. We could use the company:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

We're seeing Cats the Movie Musical soon. We will have some thoughts. They may wind up in an audio format.

Ep 71: Brontosaurus 2020

Wed, 18 Dec 2019 07:54:02 -0700

Look, I'm not going to mince hairs are about this one. Book Nook, Gordon Ramsey, Candidate Dinos: All in one. You lookin' for trouble? We got trouble. We got that just-now-shipping-our-Christmas-gifts trouble.

Hey if you're enjoying the show, please tell a friend! We're a great listen for travelin' folks.

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about peach stuff)! Jonathan tries to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to fans on the Facebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our next episode goes up on actual Christmas, which is hilarious.

Ep 70: Peaches Look Like Butts

Wed, 11 Dec 2019 07:48:50 -0700

This may be our worst title to date, but like the heat death of the universe, it felt like an entropic necessity, a supermassive gravity. Kinda like the gravity of a thick-ass peach, you might say.

In today's episode, Jess reads some reviews for fake chip recipes, while Jonathan takes us on another craveable trip across America.

We love our silly little 'cast, and if you like it too, please tell a friend, especially if they're famous!

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about peach stuff)! Jonathan tries to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to fans on the Facebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Our next episode is 1 hr and 20 min minutes long, and I'm unconvinced that it'll edit down very well. So, get pumped?

Ep 69: Cuffs, Drugs, and Spencer's Gifts

Wed, 04 Dec 2019 08:02:47 -0700

Heeey folks! It's our 69th episode! Nice.

In this one Jonathan explores some of the less savory items you can purchase on Amazon and have delivered right to your door. Jess takes a more innocent approach by checking in with what local teens might purchase at a shopping mall. Because local teens are into glassware and novelty talking buttons. Kids these days!

We love our silly little 'cast, and if you like it too, please tell a friend, especially if they're famous!

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about 69 stuff)! Jonathan tries to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to fans on the Facebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Ep 68: Talk Turkey, Get Gobbled

Wed, 27 Nov 2019 08:41:43 -0700

In today's bird-centric episode, Jess reminds us all of the true meaning of Thanksgiving: mercilessly dunking strangers on the Food Network website. Meanwhile, I introduce A Tale of Two Turkeys, a story as old as time of conflict and tension between the have meats, and the have not meats.

We want to get our show into more drums, and for just pennies a day, you can make that happen by simply telling a friend about the show.

Otherwise, check us out on the internet! We love to get reviews from fans. I try to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to fans on Facebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Next episode is #69, ya'll. Get pumped.

Ep 67: Frog Giggin' with Howard Schulz

Wed, 20 Nov 2019 07:49:46 -0700

All I want to do is talk about how strange today's episode is, but I can't honestly say it's much stranger than usual. So here's today's totally on-par episode, where Jess, during her reviews for airport Starbucks, somehow confirms that she did NOT "gig" the frogs. Also, I get a bit personal and talk haircuts.

We want to get our show into more drums, and for just pennies a day, you can make that happen by simply telling a friend. Word of mouth, friends.

Otherwise, check us out on the internet! We love to get reviews from fans. I try to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to fans on Facebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

I wish we had HBO; this Watchmen show seems like a real hootenanny eh?

Ep 66: NOT a People Hater

Wed, 13 Nov 2019 09:03:07 -0700

Today, good friends, we return to a particularly Belligerent Bibliophobe's Book Nook. And sure, Jonathan also takes us through reviews for some more mobile adaptations of classic PC games, but let's be real. We're all here for that tasty Nook, even if it gets a little Paula Dean Ravine at times.

We love our silly little 'cast, and if you like it too, please tell a friend, especially if they're famous!

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about nothing)! I try to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to fans on the Facebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Ep 65: Chicken, Alaska

Wed, 06 Nov 2019 07:57:27 -0700

This episode contains lengthy discussions about panties, the dreaded 't' in 'panties', and the thermodynamics of putting panties in a cannon. NONE of this was our idea. Instead, please send your complaints straight to the mayor of Chicken, Alaska, who, if we're being realistic, is probably a moose.

Meanwhile, Jess reminds us all that snake oil is alive and well. Especially on Amazon.com, where rules are for the weak.

We love our silly little 'cast, and if you like it too, please tell a friend! Especially if they're famous!

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about nothing)! I try to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to folks on TheFacebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

I've recently graduated from Kitchen Nightmares to Hotel Hell and I think I need an intervention.

Ep 64: Everyone's a Cryptkeeper

Wed, 30 Oct 2019 06:58:01 -0700

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Prepare thineselves, steel thine nerves, gird thine irons, for the spookiest, the creepiest, the most horrible reviews to ever be heard by mortal ears! Beeradvocate turbo dorks! Sandra Lee's twisted creations! Annoying thundertubes! Wow!

We love our silly little 'cast, and if you like it too, please tell a friend, especially if they're famous!

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about nothing)! I try to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to folks on the Facebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

WOAH WHAT'S THAT BEHIND YOU!

Ep 63: Go the Glaze, Definitely

Wed, 23 Oct 2019 07:12:22 -0700

We haven't heard from the Fresh Prince of Subway in a long time, and for good reason. He said some real weird shit on Twitter. But his German cousin, the Duchess of Dunkin' is way cooler, and so is Yelp's translation engine.

Meanwhile, Jess ensures that we ONCE AGAIN parody the VERY well-known NPR show On Being with Krista Tippett. It's a joke that totally isn't for me personally. You're all in on the bit. Right? Please clap.

We love our silly little 'cast, and if you like it too, please tell a friend, especially if they're famous! Word of mouth is our only real option at the moment.

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about nothing)! I try to be relatively active with folks on Twitter, and Jess is talkin' to folks on the Facebook:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Sometimes when I'm anxious, I just sit and play with our slide whistle. Highly recommended.

Ep 62: A Streetcar Named Vegan

Wed, 16 Oct 2019 07:02:43 -0700

Look, we've knocked vegans and vegan recipes in the past for no good reason. I feel bad about that. Veganism is choice as hell, and I'M glad for it. Jess might have her own vicious opinions about missing "binders" in pancake batter, but who needs those?! You've got each other, and me, because I like you.

On the plus side, my segment knocks Jess on her ass way harder than I expected. Real heavy content warning on this ep; lotsa salty language bein' used in the Bay.

Folks, we'd love to keep this thing growing, and word of mouth is the only game in town right now. If you can, please tell a friend or loved one about the show!

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about nothing)! I try to be relatively active with folks on Twitter.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Everything is totally cool, ya'll.

Ep 61: Gimli's Tasteful Sideboob

Wed, 09 Oct 2019 06:49:51 -0700

ATTENTION HEADPHONE USERS: We're trying to make our podcast as loud other podcasts, so episodes going forward will be louder than normal. If you or a loved one has listened to this podcast with headphones and experienced ear damage, call the law offices of J. R. R. & Tolkien. We can get you the sweet, sweet cheddar you deserve.

In today's episode, I reveal the awful show I've been watching lately and base an entire segment on it, while Jess takes us to the Parent's Guide on IMDB, where all the totally stable folks go. Times are very tense right now, and you can't blame us for being a totally incomprehensible mess. I won't allow it.

Folks, we'd love to keep this thing growing, and word of mouth is the only game in town right now. If you can, please tell a friend or loved one about the show!

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about nothing)! I'm pretty active with folks on Twitter:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

I'm working on a super-secret project that has me listening quite a lot to our back-catalog, and sorry about that time I implied that it's bad to ever feed hotdogs to kids. It's totes fine.

Ep 60: What Would Jesus Don't

Wed, 02 Oct 2019 06:43:39 -0700

Well friends, we may be witnessing a generation's worth of downward spiraling, but even THAT will not stop us from uploading our weekly crapshoot. That being said, we feel rather chuffed with this top-tier episode.

Today, Jess talks kitschy box signs and the weird-ass things they say, while Jonathan introduces us to the one-and-only Casa Bonita, and the weird-ass things people say about it.

Folks, we'd love to keep this thing growing, and word of mouth is the only game in town right now. If you can, please tell a friend or loved one about the show!

Otherwise, JOIN THE CONVERSATION (about nothing)! I'm pretty active with folks on Twitter:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

I'm working on a super-secret project that has me listening quite a lot to our back-catalog. Sorry for all the weird things I've said.

Ep 59: These Mountains Have Great Features

Wed, 25 Sep 2019 06:57:11 -0700

In today's episode, Jess takes us back to our most soul-draining segment, and I storm the Amazon Pantry with a really questionable agenda. Also, I make some fun Amy Klobuchar jokes in this one, and they are VERY fun, but now is maybe not the best time to be crackin' like any jokes about any dems? So like I get that, trust me, and I AM sorry... but she does also throw things at her staff, so...

If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Big shout-out to Kevan for the hilarious Pacific Ocean reviews? Been crackin' me up all morning.

Ep 58: We Need Pizzalord!

Wed, 18 Sep 2019 07:28:11 -0700

It's 2019, and it's been our time of need for a good 3 years now. We need a carbo-loaded hero, full of greasy mozzarella, who can hoist our broken selves back onto our feet. Therefore, where in the FUCK is Pizzalord?!

In today's calorie-dense episode, Jess takes us to Pizzalord's favorite Canadian jail hostel, while I explore all the ways AllRecipes users are making a mockery of the good PB.

If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

You can find a list of our recommended episodes on both Twitter and Facebook!

Also, I have a job interview today! Tight!

Ep 57: Real Ghosts Love Missionary

Wed, 11 Sep 2019 06:49:39 -0700

In today's Spooktember Special, Jonathan tells tales of terrifying tours, while Jess reads reviews for the lord's one true slaw.

We may or may not be losing our shit a little bit.

If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

You can find a list of our recommended episodes on both Twitter and Facebook!

Ep 56: The Ikea Continuum

Wed, 04 Sep 2019 06:43:00 -0700

Before there was time, before there was anything, there was nothing. And before there was nothing... there was Ikea. In today's episode, Jess realigns our molecules until we're ever-so out-of-phase. Meanwhile, I explore reviews for Rollercoaster Tycoon's mobile mistakes and become pretty emotional.

A normal episode, then.

If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

You can find a list of our best episodes on both Twitter and Facebook!

Ep 55: Todd's Used Hotdogs

Wed, 28 Aug 2019 10:04:35 -0700

In today's toasty episode, Jess reacts LIVE to the crimes of the hotdog toaster. You won't get uncut emotions like this on any other podcast. Except for Beautiful Anonymous, needless to say. Later, Jess then drags us back, VERY MUCH kicking and screaming, to the Grosser Green Grocer.

Also, for today's episode, I'm experimenting with skipping the noise reduction that I usually run on our audio. This means more background hiss, but hopefully more natural-sounding voices. Please do me a favor, and let me know what you think:

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

foreveracritic@gmail.com

As usual, we also appreciate you letting a friend know about the show, and also dropping us a big review on the iTunes.

Ep 54: Cool Lamps for Christians

Wed, 21 Aug 2019 08:54:52 -0700

Listeners, the Month of Only Good Challenges HAS BEGUN. And while I didn't say it in the episode, because I forgot, you are all encouraged to participate, just like in Blues Clues. Do my challenges, do your own challenges, whatever works! Just keep us posted on Twitter (@CriticEveryone).

There's also an ep in there somewhere, a real back-to-school special, filled with all of your favorite, high-sodium treats.

(For future me, and nobody else, this one's got Play Doh and salt lamps).

If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

I should have a list of eps to recommend to friends by Friday.

Ep 53: The Big Banana

Wed, 14 Aug 2019 11:40:13 -0700

In today's episode, I take us on a trip to a listener's home town, and Jess brings us the big news from the down under. This one's got big dudes, bigger bananas, a ski resort called Pine Knob, and a little dollop of Cat's Content, just for good luck.

The audio quality on this one is a bit of a wild ride, especially in the first half. I huff into my mic a fair amount, which I know bothers some folks like myself. BUT I think I fixed most of it for our next ep? It's impossible to say.

We love our little podcast family, but we'd like to see it become a not-so-little podcast family. If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Folks, the bombers have been called, the marks have been decided, and more social media CONTENT is screaming your way, guaranteed. As soon as I finish this game of Civ.

Ep 52: Our First Anniversary Special

Wed, 07 Aug 2019 06:24:57 -0700

On this the day, the day of our Podcast's christening, we celebrate with some fresh guitar playing, a truly non-sense intro, a weirdly echoey mic, E=MC Cracker, a mysterious phone-call, Yuengling's dirty secrets, and the opening of Al Capone's secret vault IN THAT ORDER.

We worked hard researching for this big special, and in the end, it was a messy and problematic one to pull together. But we did our best, and ya'll are the best, and we can't wait to bring you another beautiful year of idiophones, bibliophobes, and Yelp elite users.

If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Ya'll I can't wait to produce some more goddamn social-media CONTENT for you and my two-weeks notice is almost up and being able to breathe again is going to be fun, novel adventure for me.

Ep 51: Sittin' on the Taco Bay

Wed, 31 Jul 2019 06:13:51 -0700

Today's episode features an unspooled Mr. Fantastic, onion-free tomato sauces, quesadilla tummy sickness, and 5lbs of ground meat. Jess drags out an old, fan-favorite segment, and I return to an almost certainly over-done segment. No, not the Subway one. The other one.

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

We've got some Best Of's and other content headed to our Facebook as soon as I have any spare seconds, I swear. My day job's days are literally numbered.

Ep 50: CATS (and also reviews)

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 06:17:37 -0700

We weren't going to make our 50th episode a big celebration. 50 means NOTHING. Then the Cats trailer came out, friends. The Cat trailer came to us all in the night.

Also in today's episode, Jess talks Teddy Bears, interrogates me on my childhood stuffed animals, and reveals a dark secret about her younger brother. Later, I take us back to Where the Wild Things Are ... Caged.

We want this podcast to find more folks who could use it. If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

We've got some Best Of's and other content headed to our Facebook as soon as I have any spare seconds, I promise. My day job can bite a big one.

Ep 49: Bob Vila, Angel of Death

Wed, 17 Jul 2019 06:37:32 -0700

In today's troubled episode, Bob Vila attempts to sabotage the show by building an entire house right above our recording space. But even the Vila-man himself can't ruin our big-time Listener Special! For this one, we've got reviews for rude restaurants and communion wafers.

We want this podcast to find more folks who could use it. If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

We've got some Best Of's and other content headed to our Facebook as soon as I have any spare seconds, I promise.

Ep 48: Angry Chocolate Monster

Wed, 10 Jul 2019 06:35:34 -0700

In today's episode, we're bringing that good sickness energy your way, as well as all the audio woes that come with it. Jess takes us on a world-class vitabinge of Amazon's best supplements, while Jonathan gets down with some dippables.

We want this podcast to find more folks who could use it. If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with your friends! If you have no friends, help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Ep 47: I Love Pizza Dink

Wed, 03 Jul 2019 06:24:24 -0700

Folks, recording this one was a real adventure. But we got through it with our Pizza Dinks intact.

In today's big 4th of July Blast-Off, Jess talks birthday cakes, and Jonathan gets hot with the dogs.

If you're enjoying the show, please consider sharing it with a friend! If you have no friends, you can help us build our internet cred instead:

Facebook Fan Page: https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Ep 46: Go Yelp It on a Mountain

Wed, 26 Jun 2019 06:19:42 -0700

In today's episode, Jonathan sings out of key, Jess gives a mountain 3 stars, and the neighbors throw a noisy pool party.

If you're enjoying the show, do us a favor and don't keep it secret. Let someone know! Especially if they're a celebrity.

Find us on Facebook, Everyone's a Critic, follow the lemon.

https://www.facebook.com/Everyones-a-Critic-2327696304154655/

Twitter: @CriticEveryone

foreveracritic@gmail.com

Ep 45: God Bless Ericka

Wed, 19 Jun 2019 06:28:36 -0700

We all know folks in the service industry work entirely too hard. But when you're the sole cockswain on the sinking ship that is the Manhattan Transit Authority, you become a legend: Ericka, patron of tubes, keeper of metro cards, slayer of delays. We all love Ericka.

Also in today's episode, Jess tackles what it means to be chicken soup, and how you can too.

We now have a Facebook group! Find us at Everyone's a Critic with Jess and Jonathan. It's the one with the lemon.

Ep 44: Long Island Iced Bacon

Wed, 12 Jun 2019 06:20:24 -0700

In today's episode, Jess ushers in a bacon-wave of the future, while Jonathan takes the family out for SoCal's finest quesadilla salads.

It's the only way we know to say thanks to all of our new listeners. We hope you stay tuned for many a bacon-wave to come.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 43: Sparrin' with Papa

Wed, 05 Jun 2019 06:21:47 -0700

This week, we're rolling out the red carpet for some new listeners and announcing the Month of Only Good Intros! Only the toppest-tier intros for your ears, comin' at you hot n' ready like a Little Ceasars Impossible Pizza.

Also in today's episode, Jess drags us by the nose back to the Belligerent Bibliophobe's Book Nook, while Jonathan gets dangerous with some medieval weaponry.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 42: Moonlight Bay

Wed, 29 May 2019 06:35:29 -0700

In this week's episode Jess takes another hard look at the concerning things people do with their graduate degrees, and Jonathan plays a dirty rotten trick.

If you like what you hear tell a friend! Tell two friends!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 41: Grandma's Gravy Secrets

Wed, 22 May 2019 06:41:13 -0700

Did you know coffee gravy is a thing? Well, your southern Granny does. In today's episode, we expose all of Granny's gravy misdeeds to the world: Red-Eye Gravy and Chocolate Gravy. Also, we Raid the Amazon Pantry for popcorn toppings and find out how easy it is to turn a simple popcorn flavoring into a deadly aerosol.

If you like what you hear, then be sure to tell a friend! We plumb ran out of friends months ago.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 40: Taste the Mayo

Wed, 15 May 2019 06:03:00 -0700

Is that title really relevant to today's bangin' topics? Nah. But it does sound like that famous Mike N Ikes slogan, which is a very funny thing. We had a board meeting and agreed that it's very funny.

In today's episode, I plunder AllRecipes for it's peanut butter perversions, which happens to be Jess's least favorite food in the universe. Meanwhile Jess takes us down a beany path that we may never truly escape.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 39: Trout Pout for Ginger

Wed, 08 May 2019 06:26:23 -0700

Alternate titles for today's episode include:

Cosmic Whatnots
We're All Stardust, Baby
The American Likes to Hyperbole
Lemme Get Sitiated
Don't Fuck with the English Heritage Society.
Cute Ginger Has My Heart
Jail for Animals
Morning Cocktail Time
Guinnea Pig Jousting (how the FUCK do you spell guinnea pig gunniea gunny guinne)

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 38: Bleep Blorp

Wed, 01 May 2019 06:11:56 -0700

In today's episode, we begin with a big welcome to our new listeners, who, if I'm crunching the numbers correctly, have already bounced. You really gotta hug 'em quick, huh. Like a Sting and The Police song, ya just gotta scoop 'em up and never let go. Or is that Bon Jovi? Who remembers.

Anyway, the rest of today's episode is devoted to Easter: Easter foods, Easter festivities, and Easter government cover-ups. It's a pretty tight one, gang.

Music used in this episode includes:

Sweeter Vermouth - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 37: Wild Baby Mountain Goats

Wed, 24 Apr 2019 06:23:18 -0700

Vast and vibrant vistas. Crisp apple air filled with the sound of horny birds. There's a lot to love about our glorious American mountain tops. But the worst part? That one asshole hiker, who treks all over Mt. Shasta, checking their cell signal every 2 seconds, waiting to finally post their 1 star review on Trip Advisor: "MEH. I've had better."

That's the dark place Jess decided to take us. Also in today's episode, we rediscover Subway's old corporate slogan: You Only Get One.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 36: The Jackass Factory

Wed, 17 Apr 2019 06:17:57 -0700

Well bless our mess because in today's episode, everything is made up and the points don't matter. Meanwhile, Jess takes us back to her nasty, bibliophobic book-nook for a quick look at how NOT to help yourself.

At 3 minutes over, this might be our weirdest episode yet. In a good way. We're really proud of this one.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 35: Let Me Stop You Right There

Wed, 10 Apr 2019 06:16:40 -0700

Alternate titles for today's episode include:

The Greatest Failing in the Universe
Not Watermelon Pizza
Now We're Way Off Track
We Start Our First Topic at 7:33
Let's Be Severe
Fuck a Crispy Topping
Quesadilla Explosion
Food Poisoning Keeps This Family Together

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 34: The March Gaming Special

Wed, 03 Apr 2019 06:14:06 -0700

That's right friend, this time we're intentionally bringing you a congruent collection of the hottest reviews of gaming culture. Jess talks Game Stop and the creeps there-in, while I take us a plosive-filled trip down memory lane.

We've already recorded Episode 35, and let me tell ya, it's a real hoot'n-a-half. We may be slowly losing our minds as our jobs quickly escalate into sheer untenability.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep. 33: I'm Learning Empathy

Wed, 27 Mar 2019 06:22:35 -0700

and I'm sorry.

But seriously, at 5 minutes over, there's a whole lot of hop gunk up in this one.

Music used in this episode includes:

Sheboygan Theme: Lee Rosevere - I Was Waiting for Him

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lee_Rosevere/The_Big_Loop_-_FML_original_podcast_score/Lee_Rosevere_-_The_Big_Loop_-_FML_original_podcast_score_-_17_I_Was_Waiting_for_Him

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 32: Chef John's Weird Balls

Wed, 20 Mar 2019 06:34:02 -0700

More and more, with every episode we record, we find ourselves amazed by the treasures that lie inside AllRecipes helpful and completely functional website. And what greater treasure is there then the chickeny goodness of Not Chicken. In today's episode, Jess introduces her new, cage-free segment, Impostor Syndrome, where we dig deep into all the ways a simple vegetarian recipe can go horribly awry.

Meanwhile, I take us back to the Amazon Pantry to stock up on a few essentials: cheese dip, and super special tap water.

Because we all drink water. We have to.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 31: 5 Hot Dogs, Rinsed

Wed, 13 Mar 2019 06:18:19 -0700

Reality TV has invited American viewers into so many wacky lifestyles. Swamp folks, pawn shop folks, storage unit folks, you name it. Why can't we spend some time with the bushy-bearded boys, finding buried treasure with their metal detectors? Some TV exec is really sleepin' on the job here.

That's really the part of the episode you should focus on, and not so much my regrettable Arlo Guthrie impersonation. But hey, sometimes you gotta overcommit to the bit, baby.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 30: Still Horsin' Around

Wed, 06 Mar 2019 07:14:28 -0700

Ya'll, we made it to 30 episodes, and gorsh do we have a real hootananny of an episode for ya. In this one, a zucchini dreams of a better life, a parent spies on their unruly teens, and a friend of the show takes a trip to the desert.

Did you know the double s in "dessert" stands for "sweet stuff"? It does! You're welcome.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 29: The Occasional Traditionalist

Wed, 27 Feb 2019 07:16:47 -0700

Warning, this episode contains graphic discussion of dead recurring segments. It's tragic and sad, especially when we do it to our own barely listened to podcast, but someone has to talk about it.

But don't worry, Jess keeps the show going with dope reviews for hotels in Arkansas and polite reviews for Taco Bells in Canada.

And at an extremely sensible and listenable 48 minutes, why would you not listen to this one AND tell your friends to listen please too thank you we both work so hard all the time and our bones hurt real bad.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 28: The Cool Mom's Dr. Seuss

Wed, 20 Feb 2019 07:39:01 -0700

One might assume Dr. Seuss is an untouchable giant of kid's fic legend. But even the Hop-on-Pop Man himself comes under fire from the internet's least-grounded reviewers, who have no respect for boundaries. Except America's boundaries; they definitely tend to be a family-separation kind of crowd.

Anyway, we also find out what knock-off consoles you can buy on Amazon RIGHT NOW, unless your gift-hunting grandparents buy them all first.

And all at a dash-heavy 51 minutes! That's like two eps of Jeapordy, ya'll!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 27. Mr. Food Network SouperBowl Smash Off

Wed, 13 Feb 2019 07:31:18 -0700

Well folks, the Patriots might have destroyed their compitetion this year, but no where near as badly as Trisha Yearwood and her friends at the Food Network will destroy your Big Game get-together!

That's right, this week, Jess and I coincidentally (and unsurprisingly) both did Big Game related topics. We've got Beergaritas from Sandra Lee, dry balls from Trisha Yearwood, and sexy brownies from Rea Drummond.

Is it timely? Hell no. But hey, this year's Big Game was basically a wash anyway.

And at a first-downing 55 minutes, we're way less tedious than actual football!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 26: The Grosser Green Grocer

Wed, 06 Feb 2019 07:16:45 -0700

For too long the Kroger Corporation has kept us little folks down with its gas points and its consumer innovations. But now it's our turn, and we're gonna throw the book at them. The coupon book.

I just read that back and damn that's a sad stack of weak-ass sentences. But hey, we'll also hear from Mayor Randy Fenderbender before taking a trip to his beautiful, tunnely town.

And all at a squeaking-right-by 59 minutes!

Music used in this episode includes:

Paw Paw Insert: Doctor Turtle - "You Um, I'll Ah"

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Doctor_Turtle/none_given_1561/Doctor_Turtle_-_You_Um_Ill_Ah1

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - "Bebop Molecule"

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - "Green Lights"

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - "Drag Chain"

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 25: The Carl's Jr. Ranch Tax

Wed, 30 Jan 2019 07:21:55 -0700

In today's episode, no thanks to Jess, we learn a little too much about my checkered past with a certain salad dressing. And before that, she decides to introduce the great sound of confetti sprinkles to our already dying podcast. This is apparently the episode where I do penance for all of my recurring segment sins.

Also in today's episode, I introduce a new recurring segment.

But hey, that 50min runtime sure ain't no sin, no sir no way.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 24: Shoney the Way

Wed, 23 Jan 2019 07:24:59 -0700

This one has some singing. I don't know what else to tell you. I would say I'm sorry, but.

Anyway, in today's episode, we finally talk Shoney's. Everyone's been wondering, when will they finally talk Shoney's. Well, it's here. We also dig into reviews for fish-infused hair products and knock-off Red Lobster biscuits. But that's way less interesting than the number one destination for American families.

And at a nearly successful 1:02! Damn! We beefed it!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 23: Slow Cooker Pizza

Wed, 16 Jan 2019 07:50:24 -0700

Airports bring out the worst in us. They charge us $10 for a beer, throw us on a conveyor belt, and ask us to take our shoes off in public. Thus, you know we *had* to take another look at the poor saps trying to get their last coffee in Earth before they fly out of Dulles. Because we're nasty.

Meanwhile, we attempt to talk pizza. But when Jess decides to defend Allrecipes, things get heated.

And all at a barely-made-it 59 minutes, no less!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep. 22: Just the Tops

Thu, 10 Jan 2019 07:28:10 -0700

Well folks, we talked about the podcast a lot yesterday. Did a bit of editing. Never once realized we missed our upload.

On today's episode, Jess finally talks some serious shop. Like, some seriously serious shop, with the Baker's Edge Brownie Pan. Because who doesn't want a little more edge these days?

Also, we politely request our money back money back money back money back ribs.

And only at two minutes over. Damn it.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 21: Get Down with the Richness

Wed, 02 Jan 2019 07:54:23 -0700

Look, we recorded this one around Christmas, so today's episode has a certain theme to it. A certain sort of motif. And we're not saying it's "eat the rich." That's not the theme. We're definitely not landing on that one. Boot the rich? Now THERE'S a theme.

Besides, who has time to hate on rich folks when we're too busy grilling indoors, storing change in our water bottles, and doing puzzles that our just for boys. Certainly not us.

And all at 1hr 6min too. It's a Christmas ... what's the opposite of a miracle? Shitshow? That one.

Music used in this episode includes:

Alpharetta insert: Appalachian Coal Mines - Mid-Air Machine

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Ask%20Again/Midnight_Caravan/Coal_Miners

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep. 20: Subway or the Highway

Wed, 26 Dec 2018 08:14:06 -0700

In today's episode, we return to the Belligerent Bibliophobe's Book Nook for a wide-eyed look at some children's classics. After all, how could anyone be upset with Brown Bear, Brown Bear? It's just a picture book about a bear, for shit's sake. I mean, seriously, if we can take a moment. How.

Also, we journey to Surprise, Arizona for a surprise trip to the Surprise Subway. I bet nobody saw that coming.

And all at a sensual 55 minutes! We did it!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 19: John's Pretty Okay Salad Bar Company

Wed, 19 Dec 2018 08:04:59 -0700

Don't you hate it when you buy your soap in bulk from the CostCo, and you scrubadubdub all the soap away and now you've just got this big box and you're like, what am I gonna do with this big soap box?

Anyway, I passed a pizza and games chain and it made me ranty. In other news, Jess brings the funny with her reviews for frito pie (with Wolf Brand Chili) and LaCroix (sp?).

And at a stodgy, shitty 5 minutes over. I blame capitalism.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 18: Infrastructure Shminfrastructure

Wed, 12 Dec 2018 07:20:28 -0700

In today's episode, we find out how shallow the Yelp rabbit hole gets. We also talk about more creative uses for nuts, a brashly named barbecue joint, and Sally's unwanted thoughts on said 'Q.

It's a short one folks. 53 minutes. I can't fucking believe it.

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 17: The Hautest of Dawgs

Wed, 05 Dec 2018 07:39:17 -0700

You thought you'd had enough dogs. But AllRecipes' appetite for dogs can never be sated. Its ambivalent eye always forever roams the horizon, seeking new ways to devour some emulsified pork.

On a happier note, Jess talks sweet tea, the South's love of sugar, and deodorants full of plant stuff. Classic.

And at a satisfying 56 minutes, no less!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 16: Vegetarian Thankstaking

Wed, 28 Nov 2018 07:49:14 -0700

Today, on this humble November 28th, we give thanks (and take thanks) for all the vegetarian burger crumbles we received this year. We turned em into stews and loaves, cakes and stirfries. Just a little dry Boca, rubbed between your dry, dry hands. Hmm.

Also, I take us on a grand ol' journey to Grand Island, Nebraska, where the grass is green and the water slides are pretty. Plus we have a special announcement from an ol' friend of the show.

And only at a golly-gee 62 minutes! Rats!

Music used in this episode includes:

Presidential Announcement: US Coast Guard Band - You're a Grand Old Flag

https://www.loc.gov/item/ihas.100010450/

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 15: Milkadamia R Us

Wed, 21 Nov 2018 09:22:17 -0700

So when I decided to explore reviews for homeopathic remedies, I thought I was truly sourcing the wackiest, wildest reviews available to humankind. I was wrong. Turns out, it's the macadamia milk community that really hangs out on the fringe, waiting for the next Apocalypse and not vaccinating their kids. Go figure.

This week, Jess explores alternative milkicine, while I form another raiding party and assail the Amazon Pantry (beverages edition).

And our macadamia madness drove us 2 minutes over! Balls!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 14: The Belligerent Bibliophobe's Book Nook

Wed, 14 Nov 2018 11:35:00 -0700

Well friends, our last episode only got half the downloads as usual. Our team of data analysts tells us that sex apparently doesn't sell with ya'll, so we've changed course and brought you the least sexy topic around: classic books, and the people who hate them. Also, I take us on an ill-fated trip to Gatlinburg, for which we will definitely be sued for slander if we ever become a popular podcast.

And all at an oh-so-platonic 56 minutes!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 13: Sex, Maine

Wed, 07 Nov 2018 08:23:24 -0700

In today's episode, we talk crystals, healing, and healing crystals. We also discuss the delirium of buying coffee at the Airport and the diners in Maine who just want some chips n' salsa for once in their lives, please. But mostly, it's all about them shiny little love bugs.

But despite all the power emanating from these jagged gems, we still went 2 mins and 30 seconds over! Ass!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 12: General Guy's Chinese Chicken

Wed, 31 Oct 2018 11:19:29 -0700

Ken's boiled eggs. "Classic" Buffalo Wings. Sassy Yankee Candle surveys. Today's episode has it all, including the return of our extra spicy segment, Talk Shit, Get Dragged.

And at a smooth 60 minutes, no less!

Music used in this episode includes:

"Party Pete's Pepper and Plosive Power Hour" Theme: BOPD - 2.2.05

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/BOPD/2005_Stayin_Alive_InstruMentals/2205

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 11: Sex, Lies, and Footlong Subs

Wed, 24 Oct 2018 10:46:42 -0700

The Fresh Prince of Subway goes by many names. Wears many faces. As the much sought-after heir to the throne of Sandwich, he has to. But don't worry, we've got the inside scope, including the Prince's latest trip to Dallas, Texas, where he encountered many a Subway worker who, god forbid, speaks English as a second language.

Meanwhile, Jess queries AllRecipes for pumpkin-flavored dog treats, and we get ejected from a Bengay comedy club.

All at an oh-so-tasty 54 minutes!

Music used in this episode includes:

Fresh Prince of Subway Theme: Lee Rosevere - Get the Gist

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Lee_Rosevere/2015021275957958/Lee_Rosevere_-_02_-_Get_the_Gist

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 10: A Strawbridge over Troubled Water

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 10:03:22 -0700

We recorded this during some dark times in our country's history. There's no glossing over that fact. But no matter how bad things get, Dick Strawbridge and his wild, wild cabins are there to help. Oh, and did we forget to mention that he's a Lieutenant-Colonel with the British Army? So actually, that'll be Lt Colonel Dick Strawbridge to you.

Also, Jess talks about Uno and vegetarian lasagna, while I introduce our newest segment: Doctor Doctor, actually I don't trust you very much.

But who cares about any of that; this is a Dick Strawbridge podcast now. And at a limber 53 minutes, no less!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 9: Gettin' Hot with the Dogs

Wed, 10 Oct 2018 10:47:07 -0700

Parents, it's okay to give your kid a hotdog every now and then. That's fine. But a hotdog stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon, then dipped in maple syrup? Fuck it, why not.

Also in today's episode, Jess takes us to Rue 21. American Aeropostle. One of those. We also dish the deets on Nyquil and all of it's great, great features.

All at a sexy 57 minutes, no less!

Music used in this episode includes:

'Ad Break': Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep. 8: O Snuggie, Where Art Thou?

Wed, 03 Oct 2018 10:56:30 -0700

My dear Snuggie, once you were the talk of the town. Now, here you sit on Amazon, derided by the masses, shouting into the void "I'm more than a robe you wear backwards! I know it!"

Also in this week's episode, Jonathan takes us on a grand tour of Pocatello, Idaho: the most average city on Earth. We also check in with the Yoga monsters at Whole Foods.

I really tried to get it under an hour, I swear!

Music used in this episode includes:

Pocatello Ad: Doctor Turtle - Doctor Talos Answers the Door

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Doctor_Turtle/none_given_1561/Doctor_Turtle_-_Doctor_Talos_Answers_The_Door

"Ad Break" Music: Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Outro Music: Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 7: Go to Bed, Kathy

Wed, 26 Sep 2018 11:20:10 -0700

Here's some advice: if you get fiesty one night and have too much "whine," *don't* hop online and criticize beloved TV chefs. Because you'll get dragged. Also this week, Jess shares recipes for stinky fish salad and triggers GERD sufferers everywhere with reviews for Flamin' Hot Cheetos.

It's only an hour long!

Music used in this episode includes:

Guillaume Tucker - Bebop Molecule

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Guillaume_Tucker/2015021275957958/BebopMolecule-GTucker-Verdigris

Jahzzar - Green Lights

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain

http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 6: House of Leaves 2

Wed, 19 Sep 2018 08:23:34 -0700

In this back-to-school special, spies communicate over the dictionary, reviewers go hard on Office Depot, and Jeff Bezos shoots your processed food from space.

And all at a sexy 58:00, no less!

Music used in this episode includes:

Computer Music All-Stars - May the Chords Be with You
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Computer_Music_All-Stars/May_the_Chords_Be_with_You/May_the_Chords_Be_with_You

Jahzzar - Green Lights
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 5: The Paula Deen Ravine

Wed, 12 Sep 2018 10:58:55 -0700

Well, we've had a promising run. In today's episode, I kill the funny, and the podcast, by digging far too deep into the Deen. We also contract multiple cases of food poisoning at the Cracker Barrel, and our dog tries to steal top billing in our fledgling, now dead, production.

It's barely more than an hour long!

Music used in this episode includes:

Computer Music All-Stars - May the Chords Be with You
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Computer_Music_All-Stars/May_the_Chords_Be_with_You/May_the_Chords_Be_with_You

Jahzzar - Green Lights
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 4: Of Androids and Demons

Wed, 05 Sep 2018 09:45:39 -0700

Matt Iseman. Ted Allen. Alton Brown. They used to be humans once. In this week's unraveling episode, find out what Marc Summers did with them. We launch a deadly assault on our pop filters in order to bring you the deepest dirt on ScrippsGate. Also, Sandra Lee is a demon.

It's way over an hour long again! Oh no!

Music used in this episode includes:

Computer Music All-Stars - May the Chords Be with You
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Computer_Music_All-Stars/May_the_Chords_Be_with_You/May_the_Chords_Be_with_You

Jahzzar - Green Lights
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Jahzzar/Tumbling_Dishes_Like_Old-Mans_Wishes/Green_Lights

And our theme song: Steve Combs - Drag Chain
http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Steve_Combs/Speaking_in_Spirals_1809/03_Drag_Chain

Ep 3: Tom Hooper's Big Day Out

Wed, 29 Aug 2018 09:10:38 -0700

In today's episode, we pack our sunscreen and visors for a trip to Myrtle Beach, while Jess shares reviews for some of her deepest loves and hates. Also, Tom Hooper's latest project raises numerous questions, mostly about putting Tom Hanks in a morphsuit.

It's way over an hour long!

Ep 2: A Lady and Her Meatza

Wed, 22 Aug 2018 13:36:16 -0700

In today's episodes, we grab a big slice of gluten-free pizza, get nasty with some dessert salad, and travel forward in time to visit Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. It's less than an hour long!

Ep 1: Pancakes, Wyoming

Wed, 15 Aug 2018 11:16:57 -0700

On our pilot episode, we fix some good ol' fashion pancakes, witness a spooky pancake ghost, and take a trip to beautiful Evanston, Wyoming.