The Corie Weathers Podcast

Trailer for my NEW Restored Podcast with Corie Weathers

Sat, 01 Nov 2025 16:22:11 -0500

My NEW podcast is over on the Military Culture Shift podcast feed. The new rebrand brings you Restored with Corie Weathers, Stories of Conflict, Healing, & Peace!

Episode 1 is OUT!!

What does it take to feel whole again — especially after conflict?
In a world where conflict feels inescapable — at home, in our culture, and across the globe — Restored invites you to pause and ask: how do we work through it in a way that leads to peace?
Hosted by Corie Weathers, author of Military Culture Shift, Restored explores the hard, human work of peace. Each episode weaves together personal stories, expert insights, and cultural perspectives to uncover what it means to heal, reconcile, and grow stronger — as individuals and as communities.
From military life to everyday relationships, these are stories that remind us peace isn’t just the absence of conflict — it’s something we build, one choice at a time.
✨ Subscribe Now: Restored: Stories of Conflict, Healing & Peace

S9: The Final Pivot

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 17:18:48 -0500

After 9 seasons and hundreds of conversations, the Lifegiver Podcast is coming to a close.

But this isn’t the end of the story — it’s a pivot.

In this final episode, Corie Weathers reflects on the journey of Lifegiver — the stories the incredible community that has grown along the way. She shares why it’s time to turn the page, what she’s learned about transitions, and how sometimes the bravest thing we can do is pivot into a new season.

And with that pivot comes a new beginning: the launch of Restored: Stories of Conflict, Healing, and Peace.

Restored will take everything you loved about Lifegiver — honest stories, authentic conversations, and lessons for military families — and expand it into bigger circles. From soldiers and spouses to athletes, conflict mediators, and cultural voices, these new episodes will explore how we work through conflict and discover peace, both in our personal lives and in our world.

This is not a goodbye — it’s a continuation. Thank you for walking with Corie and the Lifegiver journey. We hope you’ll join us for what comes next.

Ep8 Holding on & Letting Go with Lindsay Swoboda

Wed, 14 May 2025 12:09:29 -0500

We are continuing our theme of living in the Messy Middle by looking at what it means to hold on to the things that matter while also letting go. Sometimes, we must let go of the things that don't matter (distractions), but often this lifestyle asks us to let go of things or people that do. In this episode, I bring author and friend Lindsay Swoboda on the podcast to share what she learned from writing her new memoir "Holding on and Letting Go: A Life in Motion". Not only is her storytelling amazing and lyrical (I don't know how else to describe it), but her experiences are ones you will definitely relate to. Now that she and her husband Ryan are transitioning into retirement, she shares what it means to let go of this life she has known for decades. Don't miss this episode I describe as the big hug you didn't know you needed.

Order Holding On and Letting Go, by Lindsay Swoboda

Follow Lindsay: @lindsay.swo

All links: https://linktr.ee/corieweathers
Work with Corie: www.corieweathers.com
1-on-1 Coaching: https://lifegiver.as.me/CorieWeathers
Join me on Substack: http://SUBSTACK.COM/@CORIELPC
Record Your Question/Message! https://www.speakpipe.com/CorieWeathers
Music: nature / nurture by Kaitlyn Raitz

E7 The Stories We Believe, Graves and Gardens

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 18:25:45 -0500

Listen in for an honest update on my counseling practice, a shift in how I'm showing up for clients, and a powerful message about the stories we tell ourselves.

We will explore how internal narratives—those we silently repeat—can either dig graves in our lives or cultivate gardens. Drawing from real-life examples and relationship dynamics, we will discuss how to recognize when assumptions and inner dialogues shape mental health, marriage, and parenting, for better or worse.

You'll hear:

How negative self-talk and assumptions sabotage relationships
The metaphor of “stories as shovels” and how to choose narratives that bring life
How to spot when you’re guarding your heart versus leaning into truth and connection
How faith and radical acceptance offer a grounded path forward in hard seasons

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, or just stuck in old thought patterns—this episode will meet you where you are and invite you to plant something new.

🌱 This week’s challenge: Notice the stories you're telling yourself—are you digging a garden or a grave?

Read Why I am Closing my Counseling Practice

E6 Can You Communicate Too Much?

Sat, 08 Mar 2025 15:29:59 -0600

This episode explores the balance between communicating too much or too little in relationships. Learn how conflict, over-communication, and silence all play a role in marriage and leadership. Plus, Corie answers a listener’s question about how to recognize when you’re on the wrong path—whether in leadership, personal growth, or relationships—and how to pivot back toward wisdom.

Topics Covered:
✔️ Why this season has been inconsistent—and why that’s okay
✔️ The power of pausing before speaking in a noisy world
✔️ DBT’s “wise mind” approach to decision-making
✔️ How over-communication can be destructive in relationships
✔️ A listener’s question: What if I realize I’m on the wrong path?
✔️ Practical strategies for balancing communication in marriage

All links: https://linktr.ee/corieweathers
Work with Corie: www.corieweathers.com
1-on-1 Coaching/Counseling: https://lifegiver.as.me/CorieWeathers
Join me on Substack: http://SUBSTACK.COM/@CORIELPC
Record Your Question/Message! https://www.speakpipe.com/CorieWeathers
Music: nature / nurture by Kaitlyn Raitz

It's Not As Good (or Bad) As You Think

Sat, 01 Feb 2025 07:20:28 -0600

In this episode, Corie discusses how relationships—and even life—are rarely black and white. You’ll hear how our tendency to lean into extremes, whether viewing things as catastrophic or overly ideal, can hinder healthy growth. With practical advice on shame spirals, conflict resolution, and embracing emotional humility, this episode will help you stay grounded in truth without dismissing the struggles or victories you’re facing.

Corie also opens up about her own experiences, including early marital challenges with Matt and how learning to externalize struggles rather than internalize shame became a game-changer.

Whether you’re struggling with personal self-worth or navigating conflict with your partner, this episode offers real, actionable insights for bringing balance to your emotional and relational life.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

Why black-and-white thinking can sabotage your relationships
How to recognize the difference between guilt (healthy) and shame (destructive)
Practical steps for pulling yourself out of a shame spiral
How to acknowledge both progress and problems in your relationship
The role of humility and why it’s essential for growth
How our past experiences shape emotional reactions to conflict

The Duplex: Balancing Individual and Marriage Wellness

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 17:32:04 -0600

Let's explore the complex balance between individual wellness and shared responsibilities in relationships through my powerful metaphor: the duplex. Whether you're a military couple navigating deployment challenges, an empty-nester reorienting your relationship, or simply seeking insight into healthier boundaries, this episode unpacks the delicate dance of honoring yourself while investing in those you love.

We'll talk about:

The importance of healthy boundaries in marriage.
How relationships can enrich—or derail—our personal growth.
The difference between passive avoidance and assertive communication in conflict.
Why articulating your needs and values can lead to stronger connections.

Whether you're figuring out how to communicate your needs effectively or trying to rebuild intimacy after conflict, this episode offers insights to help you navigate the messy middle of relationships with grace, honesty, and intentionality.

Call to Action:
What does your duplex look like? Take a moment to reflect on the state of your personal and shared spaces. Share your story or thoughts by leaving a message or sending me message.

Healthy Relationships Exist in the Messy Middle

Wed, 08 Jan 2025 06:45:00 -0600

Let's talk about the most common question I get: "What does a healthy relationship look like?"

In Season 9, we are going to unpack some of the most popular "Corie-isms" used in my coaching and counseling sessions, including today's topic:

"The Messy Middle."

I'll share the importance of balancing boundaries and grace in your relationship, drawing from examples I've seen as a clinician, a military spouse, and a parent.

Why relationships are inherently messy and how that messiness fosters growth.
The concept of the "messy middle" as a space where healthy relationships thrive.
How to navigate extremes in relationships by setting boundaries and offering grace.
Practical examples, including parenting differences and managing conflict in marriage.
Encouragement to embrace the ebb and flow of life’s challenges while staying grounded in your core values.

I'll also update you on my recent hiatus and why I'm pivoting the direction of Season 9.

Starting Your Adventure for the Right Reasons

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 11:56:40 -0600

In our first episode, we explored the idea of the hero’s journey and what it means to feel the “call to adventure” in your own life. Today, we’re going to take it a step further. We’ll talk about how to recognize if your call to adventure is coming from a place of genuine purpose—or if you might be tempted to start an adventure for reasons that could actually take you off course.

Connect with Me: Stay tuned for more episodes as we explore the stages of the hero’s journey and apply them to real-life growth and leadership. Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the show, and share it with someone who might need a nudge toward their own adventure!

All links: https://linktr.ee/corieweathers

Work with Corie: www.corieweathers.com

1-on-1 Coaching/Counseling: https://lifegiver.as.me/CorieWeathers

Join me on Substack: http://SUBSTACK.COM/@CORIELPC

Record Your Question/Message! https://www.speakpipe.com/CorieWeathers

Music: nature / nurture by Kaitlyn Raitz

S9 Ep The Hero's Journey Begins

Fri, 15 Nov 2024 08:23:27 -0600

Welcome to the first episode of Season 9 where we discuss the season theme: The Hero's Journey.

In this episode, we dive into the idea of “The Call to Adventure”—that first, often unexpected moment when we feel pulled toward change or transformation. Inspired by Joseph Campbell’s concept of the hero’s journey, this episode explores how embracing the call to adventure can set us on a powerful path of personal growth. From understanding what "the call" feels like to recognizing it in our own lives, we’ll cover how to start moving forward even when fear and doubt get in the way. Get ready to start your journey by exploring what it means to accept the call and take the first steps toward a life of purpose, fulfillment, and growth.

Key Questions to Reflect On:

What “call to adventure” have you felt in your own life? Was it an invitation to explore a new career path, a personal transformation, or a difficult decision?
Who or what has acted as a mentor or guide in your life when you were faced with new challenges?
Have you ever felt resistance to change? What held you back, and how did you respond?

Everyone faces a call to adventure, whether it’s a career opportunity, a chance to grow personally, or a new direction in life. Embracing the call can lead to profound transformation. When we acknowledge the fear and uncertainty, we make space for courage to step in, leading us toward a more fulfilling path.

All links: https://linktr.ee/corieweathers

Work with Corie: www.corieweathers.com

1-on-1 Coaching/Counseling: https://lifegiver.as.me/CorieWeathers

Join me on Substack: http://SUBSTACK.COM/@CORIELPC

Record Your Question/Message! https://www.speakpipe.com/CorieWeathers

Music: nature / nurture by Kaitlyn Raitz

The Theology of Hope

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 13:30:32 -0600

Lifegiver Podcast will be back soon!

This is a bonus faith-based episode- a recording of my talk for the Protestant military spouse's group at Fort Cavazos, TX.

If your circumstances or relationships are not going the way you hoped, if you are wondering where God is and why some prayers are not answered in the time or way you wish- this episode is for you.

To listen to the Military Culture Shift Podcast that is underway: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/military-culture-shift-podcast/id1704769860

Ending Credits song: "Closer Than You Know"

https://music.apple.com/us/album/closer-than-you-know/1440827181?i=1440828073

New Trailer for MCS Podcast

Thu, 08 Feb 2024 08:33:47 -0600

The Military Culture Shift Limited Series Leadership Podcast launches Feb 15, 2024! Interviews with experts and leaders, (many of them mentioned in the book) will bring the book to life in a multi-sensory way, and breathe life into your home and leadership, and especially validate your story. Episodes will start on Feb 15th and roll out weekly so make sure you are subscribed so you don’t miss them and have picked up the book if you haven’t.

(Order the book from Amazon here)

Also, I’m encouraging you ahead of time to listen all the way to the end of each episode for powerful songs written and performed by veterans, military spouses, and even Gen Z military teens. I’ve so enjoyed lifting up our community and I hope you will feel lifted as well.

Order your copy of Military Culture Shift here.

Listen to Corie's Lifegiver Podcast here

Find out more about how you can work with and contact Corie here.

S8 Finale: What It Means to “Be Well” & The Difference Between Mental Health and Mental Wellness

Sun, 01 Oct 2023 19:06:15 -0500

Listen now to the Season 8 Finale of what it means to "Be Well". Right now the culture is struggling with a mental health crisis where we are confusing mental illness with mental health and mental wellness. What is the difference? And what is the next step towards you being truly well... Let's figure it out together.

Pre-order Military Culture Shift (All pre-orders are autographed!)

Subscribe to the Military Culture Shift Podcast

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

Addressing Your Concerns Around Yoga & Meditation- with Amber Mattingly, DMin

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 06:01:00 -0500

After hearing concerns on social media of Matt and I practicing yoga and prayerful meditation, I knew it was time to invite my dear friend Amber Mattingly, DMin to the podcast to share her story. This is a faith-based episode that addresses the biggest fears and questions around these practices.

Amber began yoga when her son was newly diagnosed with autism. She was overwhelmed, frightened for his future, worried about her marriage, and frustrated at life. At the height of this experience, she stopped sleeping for a whole year. She was not the youthful mom coming to yoga to learn handstands and complicated poses. Instead, she was the young mom barely able to make it through the day who ended up spending most of the time crying on her mat.

For her, yoga is a tool that reconnected her with her true self, strengthened connection with something greater than myself, and built relationships based on humility, compassion & radical amazement!

Amber met Pema while pursuing her Doctor of Ministry degree in Compassion based Leadership and they wondered what might happen if people from different faith traditions shared a prayer/meditation practice. Would they grow spiritually together while deepening their connection to their own faith tradition? This curiosity lead them to develop a study that included Buddhist and Christian practitioners. What we found were some hidden treasures!

Find out more about Amber: https://ambermattinglylivefree.com/

Read Amber and Pema's book: A Leap of (inter)Faith

Marriage & Parenting Through Medical & Neurodiverse Challenges (EFMP)

Fri, 15 Sep 2023 06:15:00 -0500

The military lifestyle's stress is hard enough on marriage, but what happens when you add a medical diagnosis? A child in need of extra care? In this episode, we explore Aaron and Monica Harding's story of finding help for their son, themselves, and their marriage.

The Harding's son Jackson (17) was diagnosed with SynGAP in 2015, at age 10. Today, with children aged 24, 21 and 17, his wife, Monica, is now just learning how to take time away. And, according to Aaron, “that’s only because we started family therapy ~2 years ago.”

Children living with SynGAP live with symptoms that include: autism / intellectual disabilities / sleep issues / behavior issues / seizures (sometimes a hundred a day) / delayed fine motor and language skills.

Today, there is no cure, only medications that treat individual symptoms. Each case is different and brings its own unique challenges. For families like the Sandersons and the Hardings, those challenges are even more acute as they navigate the complexities of military life.

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

Choosing Hard Things Can Unexpectedly Change Your Life

Fri, 01 Sep 2023 06:00:00 -0500

My new book Military Culture Shift is now available for pre-order and will launch November 14th! Order Here

Subscribe to the Military Culture Shift Podcast NOW!

In this episode, I talk about the power of choosing hard things and the character development that comes from the process. We are so used to only choosing activities that we will feel successful at. After a while, we are siloed into a lifestyle and career where we believe the lie that we have to be successful at whatever we put our mind to. Instead, think about what brings you joy, or what used to bring you joy, and consider valuing yourself enough to go back to it and give it a chance.

At 44, I picked up the cello after loving the sound of it my whole life. I had no idea just how much I was going to have to face some things in my life that have long needed to be addressed. Listen in as we talk about how to choose what your "hard thing" will be, what sabotages us from trying, how to develop the grit to persevere through discouragement and obstacles, and how it translates to our personal wellness and leadership in and out of the home.

Mentioned in this episode:

Angela Duckworth: Grit: The Power of Passion & Perseverance and her TedTalk.

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

Bonus Trailer: Military Culture Shift Podcast

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 22:43:35 -0500

A sneak peek at the new Military Culture Shift Limited Series Podcast!

Subscribe NOW here on Apple!

Also available on Podbean and coming soon to other platforms.

Pre-order Military Culture Shift, Out November 14th!

Based on the book, Military Culture Shift by clinical consultant and SME on military family culture, Corie Weathers. This podcast offers leaders an opportunity to understand the growing shifts happening within the military culture as an immersive supplement to the book. Based on 15 years of research, counseling, and teaching the military culture across all branches. Gain insights on changing perspectives within the culture, generational shifts in authority, the impact of Department of Defense budget decisions, emerging social trends within the military community, and the cumulative effect of two decades of the War on Terror on military family wellness.

Pre-order your copy of Military Culture Shift here. Out November 14th

A Strengths-based Approach Changes Everything in Leadership & Marriage

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 16:22:43 -0500

Listen in for how a strengths-based approach changes the way we view our relationships, work, and even our perception of ourselves. After over a decade of helping individuals, leaders, and couples discover what their talents are, it has been incredible to watch marriages heal from miscommunication, differences, and betrayal, helping individuals heal through loss, and find joy in doing what they are exceptionally talented at. Whether you are a leader looking for a new tool that increases communication and productivity or looking to change the patterns of communication in your home, the strengths approach helps you work with what you already do well and use that to address what you aren't good at. It also sets you free from being all things to all people, and lets you just be you.

Here are a few links mentioned in the episode:

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

Matt & Corie Talk Leadership & Influence

Tue, 01 Aug 2023 06:26:59 -0500

Matt joins me for an episode where we discuss what it takes to achieve "voluntary followership"- in other words, what does it take to lead in a way that people actually want to follow? We also cover the following:

How do you find the time to invest in those around you when your life and job are already too busy?
What does it look like to invest in the next generation, especially if they have differing values from you?
How can your decisions today impact the entire organization?

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

A Military Commander’s Example of Servant Leadership with Paul McCullough

Sat, 15 Jul 2023 06:00:00 -0500

This interview was inspired by an article that Lt. Col. (Rev.) Paul McCullough wrote. Check it out here: https://www.ausa.org/articles/accomplish-mission-love

Lt. Col. (Rev.) Paul McCullough, U.S. Army retired, is president of the Association of the U.S. Army’s Penn & Franklin-Greater Philadelphia Chapter and an Army Reserve Ambassador from Pennsylvania. He served 20 years in the Army, retiring in 2018 as deputy director for supplier operations, Defense Logistics Agency. He deployed to Operation Iraqi Freedom in 2005, and in 2017 as commander of the DLA Support Team-Kuwait. He holds a doctorate in business administration from Walden University.

Find out more about the NEW Military Bible Challenge App by visiting: https://www.revdrpaul.com/

You can also download the app: Apple or Android

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

Leading from the Jumpseat with Peter Docker

Sat, 01 Jul 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Peter Docker served for 25 years as a Royal Air Force senior officer and has seen service across the globe as a Force Commander during combat flying operations. His career has spanned from professional pilot, teaching postgraduates at the UK’s Defence College, to flying the British prime minister around the world. He has also led multibillion-dollar international procurement projects and served as a crisis manager and former international negotiator for the UK government. As a trained leadership consultant and executive coach, Peter has worked across 92 countries with clients like Google, Four Seasons Hotels, Accenture, American Express, ASOS, EY, NBC Universal and over 100 more.

Peter Docker, co-author of Find Your Why and formerly a founding Igniter at Simon Sinek Inc., is passionate about enabling people to unlock their natural talents and teaches leadership that is focused on commitment and human connection.

His latest book, Leading from the Jumpseat, delivers the message that leadership is about lifting people up and giving them the space they need so that, when the time is right, they can take the lead.

Learn more about Peter by visiting his website, https://www.leadingfromthejumpseat.com/

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

Why is Apologizing So Hard?

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Why is it so hard to apologize? These two words, "I'm Sorry", seem to throw off children and adults every time, catapulting people into further conflict. In this episode, we wrap up the marriage and intimacy series and introduce the leadership series by going back to the basics of conflict resolution and the dreaded apology.

We will cover:

1) The common responses of defensiveness that come up when we ask another person to change or address our hurt.

2) Whether intentions matter.

3). How to accept imperfection in ourselves and others while still asking for change, and

3) The critical importance and goal of learning how to repair conflict faster.

Mentioned in this episode:

Intent vs. Impact

Gottman's Four Horseman

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

Restoring Marriage After Pornography with Dannah Gresh

Thu, 01 Jun 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Dannah Gresh is a best-selling author and sought-after speaker. In her latest book, Happily Even After, Dannah is a friend who walks beside you as she demonstrates how to forgive, live with joy, and hold your head high while Jesus Christ redeems the broken places of your marriage after suffering from things like pornography, addiction, or even an affair.

Dannah has sold over 2 million books and reaches women and girls in more than 100 countries. Her best-selling titles include And the Bride Wore White, Lies Young Women Believe co-authored with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and Lies Girls Believe. Dannah is the co-host of Revive Our Hearts, a daily podcast for women, and the founder of True Girl, which provides mom+daughter connection tools including the True Girl podcast.

Learn more about Dannah by visiting her website, https://dannahgresh.com/

Looking for more episodes on Affair Recovery? Here are additional conversations, including more with Dr. Mike.

Looking for more episodes on marriage enrichment? Check out this page for more.

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari, "Invisible Beauty" by Aakash Gandhi

Secrets of Sex with Dr. Michael Sytsma

Mon, 15 May 2023 05:39:11 -0500

Dr. Mike is back to talk about his new book Secrets of Sex & Marriage that he co-wrote with marriage research expert Shaunti Feldhan.

Dr. Michael Sytsma is a licensed professional counselor, certified sex therapist, ordained minister, professor, and national speaker. With a pastoral heart, a gift in teaching, and a passion for helping couples grow in marriage, Dr. Systma uses his skills to teach couples important truths about marriage in a fun and interesting way, helping them to grow into healthier, transformative relationships with their spouses.

He has over 30 years of clinical experience in sex therapy and is the founder of Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. and co-founder of Sexual Wholeness, Inc. He is coauthor of Secrets of Sex & Marriage: 8 Surprises that Make all the Difference, with Shaunti Feldhahn and contributor to several other works.

Learn more about Dr. Sytsma by visiting https://intimatemarriage.org/bim-team/mike-sytsma/

Looking for more episodes on Affair Recovery? Here are additional conversations, including more with Dr. Mike.

Looking for more episodes on marriage enrichment? Check out this page for more.

Secrets of Sex with Shaunti Feldhahn

Mon, 01 May 2023 06:00:00 -0500

Shaunti Feldhan joins Lifegiver to talk about her new book Secrets of Sex & Marriage that she co-wrote with intimacy expert Dr. Mike Sytsma.

Shaunti Feldhahn is a bestselling author, social researcher, speaker, and podcaster. A graduate of Harvard University and a former Wall Street analyst, Shaunti now uses her analytical skill to uncover those little things that can make big differences in lives and relationships, both at home and in the workplace.

She and her husband, Jeff, have coauthored groundbreaking relationship books, translated into 25 languages with nearly 3 million copies sold, now used by therapists, clergy, corporate coaches, and HR departments. Her books include The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages; For Women Only; For Men Only; Through a Man’s Eyes; and The Kindness Challenge.

Learn more about Shaunti by visiting her website, https://shaunti.com/

Looking for more episodes on Affair Recovery? Here are additional conversations, including more with Dr. Mike.

Looking for more episodes on marriage enrichment? Check out this page for more.

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari, "Invisible Beauty" by Aakash Gandhi

S8 - Are you Helping or Managing Your Marriage?

Sat, 15 Apr 2023 06:00:00 -0500

On the Season 8 opener, we are talking all about how to recognize if we are managing our relationships to our own personal detriment. You may think you are helping, but what if you are only hurting yourself by walking on eggshells and not being fully honest or congruent with yourself? We’re diving in quickly on this season opener!

Mentioned in this episode:

Squared Away We exist to make work better by letting you focus solely on what matters. We are your trusted assistants. This entire journey started because Michelle, our CEO & Co-founder couldn’t get a job due to her being a military spouse. Constantly changing bases meant being in a different city at a moment’s notice. Everywhere she went, she met others with the same story. Highly educated, ready to work, struggling to find a job. Military spouses.

Jennifer Hamrick: Once You See Racism: A Christian, White, Southern Woman’s Journey from Being Oblivious to Racism to Seeing it Clearly

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you - It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at podcast@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: "You and Me" Tamas Kolozsvari

Lifegiver Trailer

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 13:02:36 -0600

Stay Tuned! Fantastic topics and interviews are coming your way in 2023. Subscribe and share with other military families and leaders you know. As always, I appreciate reviews on your podcast platform of choice. It's a great way to spread the word! If you are interested in sponsorship opportunities for this season, email corie@corieweathers.com

BONUS REPLAY: The Impact of Family Readiness on Marriage

Mon, 28 Nov 2022 06:53:00 -0600

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

Matt joins me again for another episode where we talk about the impact of Family Readiness on marriage. For decades, the military has told families that their support makes the mission successful. Unfortunately, families are getting tired and are wondering at what cost. In this episode, Matt and I have an honest conversation on how families indeed play a pay in mission readiness but also how we can change our perspective to a more influential one that can change the trajectory of our entire family.

BONUS REPLAY: My Spouse Doesn’t Care About My Feelings

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 06:50:00 -0600

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

We often hear from couples that the service lifestyle has made my spouse "cold, calculated, and harsh." While this may be a nature versus nurture debate, the service lifestyle can definitely train a person to see the world differently. In this episode, Corie and Matt talk about how this doesn't have to create more conflict in your marriage- in fact it can be a strength you lean on!

Matt shares how growing up in a first responder home shaped him into the man he is today and how to understand the internal emotional world of warriors- in our community and military. Join us in a fun and moving discussion on how you can embrace who you are as well as how life has shaped you and become a stronger team together.

*** SPOILER ALERT- We talk about Avengers: Endgame in this episode, so please hold off on listening until you have seen it!

BONUS REPLAY: My Strategy for Affair Recovery

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 06:43:00 -0600

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

Betrayal is, unfortunately, more common than you think- especially in the service culture. In this episode, I share with you the strategy I use to help couples work through affair recovery. There are three phases and couples will certainly stall if not fail to recover their marriage if they miss important steps throughout the phases. Two people, if are both willing to work hard, can rebuild their marriage after an affair and go on to have a rich relationship.

Here are some of the resources mentioned throughout the episode:

My interview with Dr. Mike Sytsma Here is also my podcast on "Sin in a Christian Marriage" Part 1 & Part 2

More Resources:

• Torn Asunder by Dave Carder. There is also a workbook available for this book. (faith based)

• Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity by Gary & Mona Shriver (faith based)

• Secrets to Surviving Infidelity by Scott Haltzman

• After the Affair by Janis Spring

Rebuilding Trust Video – Using the image of a “trust bucket”, Dr. Mike addresses rebuilding trust after a affair.

Setbacks in Marriage- The Podcast Episode
Women & the Tough Bible Verses– (Topic of Submission and gender roles in the Bible- Authentic Intimacy)
People Are More Important Than Marriage– Authentic Intimacy, When you shouldn’t fight for your marriage.
Sexual Intimacy and Post Affair with Mike Sytsma
How do Affairs Happen? New Life Church, Brady Boyd

Articles:

So You’ve Hit a Marriage Setback: 3 Steps
Military Marriage: When to Separate
Mike Sytsma- Betrayal & Affair Recovery (articles and video)
Protecting Your Marriage from an Affair

Books:

Mission Ready Marriage: My Life As An Active Duty Wife Claire Wood
Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage Corie Weathers

BONUS REPLAY: Sarah Drew on Grey’s, Marriage, & Her New Movie

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 06:33:00 -0600

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

Listen in to my premiere interview with actor, Emmy nominated director, and producer Sarah Drew as she talks about life after Grey's Anatomy, marriage, and her newest movie Indivisible that hits theaters Oct 26th. Indivisible is based on real life Army Chaplain Couple Darren & Heather Turner.

Find theaters and more on INDIVISIBLE: https://indivisiblemovie.com/

BONUS REPLAY: Sunday Special: Embrace Your Story

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 06:28:00 -0500

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

I received feedback that some of you would like faith-based content AND hearing from Matt- so this episode is the both of us giving a talk at our old stomping grounds where we first met- Gardner-Webb University. The sound on this one is a bit different because it was recorded in a different place and format, but I hope the message comes through in a way that will encourage your story.

I hope that you enjoy this episode. I personally am huge fan of Matt Weathers, so I'm happy to share the stage with him anytime.

Connect with Corie Weathers! www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC

BONUS REPLAY: A Marriage Check Up With Dr. Les Parrott

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 06:25:00 -0500

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

Dr. Les Parrot joins me for an episode that is all about how couples can use a tool like the Better Love Assessment to get a healthy snapshot or check up on their marriage. Dr. Parrott is a globally sought-after marriage psychologist along with his wife, Leslie Parrott also a marriage therapist. Together, they have written several books and speak on how to improve your marriage communication, reduce conflict, improve your sex life, and much more. In this episode, Dr. Parrott shares more about the Better Love Assessment (found at www.betterlove.com) in pointing out the individual strengths in your marriage. Better Love can be a great tool for date night discussions, working on your marriage during a deployment or separation, and even ways to talk through topics that are normally hot topics. To find out more and subscribe to Dr. Parrott's resources, check out www.lesandleslie.com

BONUS REPLAY: A Military-First Responder Roundtable

Mon, 17 Oct 2022 06:18:00 -0500

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

Episode 2, Season 4

What happens when a veteran, a military spouse, and a first responder spouse sit down and talk about life together?

I often get asked, do we really have that much in common? Why would I have a podcast where I address the needs of both military and first responders? Because we have a whole lot more in common than you think.

In this episode, I bring Ashley and Sarah on the podcast to talk about our different worlds and we would love for you to join us.

Sarah is a first responder spouse, whose husband is now on the local SWAT team. She brings authenticity and humor that will brighten anyone's day.

Ashley, calling in from Italy, is a veteran herself by has retired and is now a military spouse. For those who don't know, we call that a dual service family. She brings a perspective that all of use should pay attention to.

Grab a cup of coffee or tea and pretend you are sitting at the table with us. You will definitely be changed by this conversation.

Connect with Corie Weathers! www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC

BONUS REPLAY: Who’s Really in Charge?

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 06:16:00 -0500

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

Listen in to the Season 4 FINALE with a big question that likely everyone has asked... "Who is really in Charge?" Is it man? Is it God? When does God get in involved? Why doesn't he? Perhaps you are waiting on orders to your next assignment (like we are) and wondering if the people involved are listening to God. Or maybe you are praying for a promotion or for your spouse to turn back to God. Some of you may have even experienced abuse at the hands of someone else and are wondering, "Why didn't God intervene?" In this Sunday Special, I open up on my own journey to look into the Sovereignty of God and tackle these big questions by diving into what scripture says about it.

Included in this episode: A portion of James Cordon's Late Night Show. To listen to the full video, watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgLOv36an3s

BONUS REPLAY: Timing and Tact

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 06:10:00 -0500

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

In this episode, we are talking about the importance of Timing and Tact with our emotions and words. Whether you are in conflict with you spouse, in a leadership position, or even a public advocate. Especially military spouses feel at times like their voice is limited and that any complaints can come across as being a negative spouse. The truth is, we have a right to our feelings and opinions but have great responsibility in how we express them. Rather than become passive or perhaps worse- aggressive- we can learn to be more assertive in kindness and love. But... also with the right timing and tact. Listen in as I give examples and practical tips on how to be more confident with the amazing influence you have in your marriage, parenting, and in the world.

BONUS REPLAY: How Are We Really Doing?

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 06:17:00 -0500

Season 7 might be over, but we are bringing back the Top 10 most listened-to episodes in Lifegiver Podcast History!

In this episode from Season 4, I'll talk about the results of a spouse survey I created that went viral. Almost 750 spouses told me how they are REALLY doing and it turns out...

We have lots to talk about.

I wasn't surprised that we are struggling as a community. Many of you aren't doing well and you aren't talking about it. In fact, many are burned out, exhausted, and borderline resentful. So in this episode, we are going to get honest about that.

But there are some of you who are really doing great. So what is the difference? Take a listen to find out where you fall with other spouses in the community. Perhaps you need some encouragement from others who are figuring out how to balance it all or maybe you have a lot more to offer than you thought...

It's time to breathe life into our family- the community family as well.

Books mentioned in the podcast: Leading Women Who Wound

Connect with Corie Weathers! www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC

S7 E11 Retirement: How to End Well with Your Marriage Intact (With Jeff & Lori Hawkins)

Mon, 22 Aug 2022 06:31:00 -0500

Leaving this lifestyle can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. For many couples, crossing the finish line can bring conflict as you and your spouse bring different expectations to the transition . In this episode, Corie sits down with Jeff & Lori Hawkins who share how they navigated major decisions about where to live, what to value, and what to do next. Listen as they pass down wisdom they learned from their mentors, how they keep their marriage thriving now that they are together more than they’ve ever been and how they continue to build their identity on what really matters.

For more content and resources be sure to check out our new website layout and help me with section at www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: “By Your Side” written by Justin Prin

S7 E11 When Others Don’t Understand Your Life

Mon, 08 Aug 2022 06:51:00 -0500

Community. We’ve all been hurt by it, longed for it, and struggled in it. In a world that touts itself as connected more than ever, how do we reconcile the ache within us for physical presence and the need to be seen? Sit down and lean in as Corie walks Sarah through a very candid conversation about the need and the pain of community.

For more content and resources be sure to check out our new website layout and help me with section at www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: “By Your Side” written by Justin Prin

S7 E10 Shot in the Line of Duty, Trauma & Marriage

Mon, 25 Jul 2022 06:09:00 -0500

In 2017 Ken Grubbs was shot on duty responding to a call at an apartment complex. In this episode, Sarah sits down with Ken and Wende Grubbs as they share their journey of walking through a situation many hope to never face. Listen in and be encouraged by the perspective they found along the way and how one of the most difficult incidents in their life would also end up being the catalyst for deeper communication and intimacy in their marriage.

Emotional Survival For Law Enforcement by Kevin M Gilmart PHD

For more info about Bless the Badge: https://blessthebadge.net/

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: “By Your Side” written by Justin Prin

S7 E9 Mark & Caroline, SOF, Marriage, & Hitting Your Limit

Mon, 11 Jul 2022 06:13:00 -0500

In this episode, Corie sits down with Special Ops couple Mark and Caroline as they share their journey through the hardships and pain unique to a service marriage. Listen in as they recount how they were able to hold each other's experiences while also working through their own personal struggles. Be inspired as they tell of the deep joy and intimacy that only suffering can produce and find encouragement in knowing that your marriage can flourish as a result of this lifestyle.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast https://adamyoungcounseling.com/podcast/

Leading on Empty by Wayne Cordeiro

Check out our Additional Resources for Personal and Marital Growth HERE

For more content and resources be sure to check out our new website layout and "help me with" section at www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: “By Your Side” written by Justin Prin

S7 E8 What You Choose Determines What You Value

Mon, 27 Jun 2022 08:00:00 -0500

What defines a hard choice? While the hard choices in our life may seem subjective to others, the decisions we make reflect what we value. Corie and Sarah explore the process of weighing the costs of the hard choices in our life including the difficulties of the service lifestyle.

Song credits: "By Your Side" written by Justin Prins

Corie's Go To for Hard Choices: Giant Whiteboard

We are taking a break from social media, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find us!

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

S7 E7 My Aunt Shares Life Lessons

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 06:24:00 -0500

How do we get to a place where we are living on purpose, for a purpose? Corie sits down with her aunt and mentor, June, to discuss the journey of learning to accept things for what they are, become better for it, and help someone else through it. Listen in as they expound on what it means to realize that you simply cannot manage situations and others into place.

Books recommended by June:

"It's Not Supposed to be This Way" Lisa Terkeurst

"Soul Keeping: Caring for the Most Important Part of You", John Ortberg

"Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" Peter Scazzero

"Art of Survival in an Age of Chaos" Chip Ingram

Song credits: "By Your Side" written by Justin Prins

We are taking a break from social media, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find us!

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

S7 E5 Slow Down & React Less

Mon, 16 May 2022 06:28:00 -0500

Corie and Sarah sit down and discuss the differences between over reaction, under reaction and the importance of being proactive. Join the conversation as they seek to answer the question, how do we become less reactive in such a reactive lifestyle and world?

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: “By Your Side” written by Justin Prin

S7 E4 Rebuilding After Spouse Suicide with Jennifer, Pt 2

Mon, 02 May 2022 06:42:00 -0500

Previous Podcast Episodes mentioned:

3-61Roundtable

Addiction and Marriage Part 1

Addiction and Marriage Part 2

We are taking a break from social media, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find us!

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

In this two part episode, Corie sits down with good friend and fellow 3-61 wife, Jennifer, as she shares her journey of reconnecting and rebuilding herself after trauma. Listen in as she shares how she learned to set boundaries and take difficult steps towards healing as she navigated the waters of alcoholism and addiction in her marriage that ultimately led to the suicide of her husband. Though her story is heavy, her life exemplifies that things can get better and that there is hope on the other side of trauma.

Previous Podcast Episodes mentioned:

3-61Roundtable

Addiction and Marriage Part 1

Addiction and Marriage Part 2

We are taking a break from social media, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find us!

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: “By Your Side” written by Justin Prin

S7 E3 Rebuilding After Spouse Suicide with Jennifer, Pt 1

Mon, 02 May 2022 06:20:00 -0500

Previous Podcast Episodes mentioned:

3-61Roundtable

Addiction and Marriage Part 1

Addiction and Marriage Part 2

We are taking a break from social media, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find us!

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Song Credits: “By Your Side” written by Justin Prin

S7 E2 Make Time for You Without Feeling Selfish

Mon, 18 Apr 2022 08:10:00 -0500

What’s the difference between selfishness and self awareness?
Corie and Sarah return to discuss and define how self awareness of what is happening in our mind, body and spirit are key components to our mental health, physical health and the influence we have in our relationships. Join the conversation as they pull apart each of these components and dive in to what it looks like to be self aware.

Need help sorting out the tangled web of thoughts, feelings, emotions and needs? Start here with our FREE 5 Minute Check In
OR
Check out our 5 Minute Check In tools to help you and your family be more intentional in your communication.

Lost for words? Consider using a feelings wheel to help maximize your 5 Minute Check In.

Don’t forget!
Song Credits: “By Your Side” by Justin Prin

We are taking a break from social media, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find us!

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

Season 7 Opener: Reconnect with What Matters Most

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 08:01:00 -0500

The Lifegiver Podcast is back! (And this time with a co-host!) Corie Weathers and Sarah Foster, First Responder Spouse and frequent guest to Lifegiver, sit down and discuss the heart behind Season 7: Reconnect. Join them as they unpack what a front porch conversation looks like, the meaning behind the album cover, and putting social media in it’s place.

We are taking a break from social media, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find us!

Song Credits: “By Your Side” Written by Justin Prins

For more content and resources visit www.life-giver.org

We want to hear from you! It helps us serve you better! Send us an email at corie@corieweathers.com

Want to work with Corie? Check out https://www.corieweathers.com/ for more info.

S6 E26: Finale Breathing Life Back into YOU.

Fri, 03 Dec 2021 18:03:53 -0600

What a year. Didn't we say that about 2020? Here we are ending 2021 and some of us are still feeling like we are crawling along. After a year of deployment, reintegration, some tough circumstances, and the world opening back up, I really had to take a look at whether I had enough "life" in me to truly breathe life into others. The more I traveled, the more I realized so many other service families were feeling the same. In fact, very few could tell me what "self-care" actually looked like for them (if they had time to do it).

So... for this finale, I cover what you said in the end-of-year survey (you can still take it here). There are some very interesting things going on for serving spouses vs supporting spouses. There are also hints at how the last two years have impact you and our service culture. I also share how I turned my life around and learned to implement some key self-care strategies in my life. Don't know where to start?? I'll walk you through how to find activities that breathe life into you and then how to fit it into your daily life in a way that will make sure it happens.

Looking for a clinician that understands your lifestyle! Search the Lifegiver Directory: www.lifegiverdirectory.com

Check out www.life-giver.org for more content, resources, digital resources, the Lifegiver Directory, and more!

Increase your communication and intimacy in less than 5 minutes with my Lifegiver "5 Minute Check-In"

S6 E27 Caregiver & Didn‘t Know it

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 06:00:00 -0600

Did you know that many spouses are considered caregivers and don't know it? I'm sure you are feeling it and maybe you just needed a name for it. Whether you are taking care of the medical and physical needs of those around you or just feeling the weight of this life on. your shoulders, this episode is important.

November is National Caregiver's Month, so Conwell Smith and Deidre Blascyk from the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers, join me to share some of the surprising findings they found on military spouses and the impact of the military lifestyle. RCI is a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting the health, strength, and resilience of caregivers throughout the United States. Listen in to be validated, inspired, and encouraged to take care of you in a whole new way.

Find out about the Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers here: https://www.rosalynncarter.org/

Learn more about Operation Family Caregiver and sign up for one-on-one coaching here: http://operationfamilycaregiver.org/signup

Learn more about RCI’s virtual peer support group, Operation Caregiver Support, and sign up here: https://www.operationfamilycaregiver.org/ocs

On social media:

http://facebook.com/opfamcaregiver

https://www.instagram.com/operationfamilycaregiver

Looking for a clinician that understands your lifestyle! Search the Lifegiver Directory: www.lifegiverdirectory.com

Check out www.life-giver.org for more content, resources, digital resources, the Lifegiver Directory, and more!

Increase your communication and intimacy in less than 5 minutes with my Lifegiver "5 Minute Check-In"

S6 E27 FR Series, Friends Make All The Difference

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 10:58:04 -0500

In this episode, Sarah sits down with good friend and fellow LEO spouse Shauna for an authentic conversation on what it is really like to do life with a chaotic first responder schedule. Shauna shares how she and her husband navigate anniversaries and childrens' schedules while she also juggles a full-time job. Most important, Sarah and Shauna discuss the power of friendship and how even long-distance friends who understand can make all the difference.

Catch the entire series here, including previous first responder content: https://www.life-giver.org/the-first-responder-series-with-sarah-foster/

Looking for a clinician that understands your lifestyle! Search the Lifegiver Directory: www.lifegiverdirectory.com

Check out www.life-giver.org for more content, resources, digital resources, the Lifegiver Directory, and more!

Increase your communication and intimacy in less than 5 minutes with my Lifegiver "5 Minute Check-In"

S6 E26: FR Series Sarah & Kenny

Mon, 18 Oct 2021 10:41:07 -0500

Sarah Foster, host of the FR Series sits down with her husband to talk about what led him to join law enforcement, drives him to be his best for his teammates, and whether she forced him into homesteading. You might catch their dog Bullet in the background! Listen in as the couple talks about the pros and cons of the lifestyle and hopefully encourages more open conversations with your spouse.

Catch the entire series here, including previous first responder content: https://www.life-giver.org/the-first-responder-series-with-sarah-foster/

Looking for a clinician that understands your lifestyle! Search the Lifegiver Directory: www.lifegiverdirectory.com

Check out www.life-giver.org for more content, resources, digital resources, the Lifegiver Directory, and more!

Increase your communication and intimacy in less than 5 minutes with my Lifegiver "5 Minute Check-In"

S6 E25 FR Series- So You‘re New Here

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 08:27:00 -0500

Sarah Foster, SWAT wife, joins the podcast with her positivity and humor to share lifegiving content to first responder marriages. Military, this one is for you, too! We have so much we can learn from each other.

In this episode, Sarah goes back to the beginning to share what she wish she would have known when her service life first started.

Catch the entire series here, including previous first responder content: https://www.life-giver.org/the-first-responder-series-with-sarah-foster/

Looking for a clinician that understands your lifestyle! Search the Lifegiver Directory: www.lifegiverdirectory.com

Check out www.life-giver.org for more content, resources, digital resources, the Lifegiver Directory, and more!

Increase your communication and intimacy in less than 5 minutes with my Lifegiver "5 Minute Check-In"

S6 Ep24 Introducing Sarah Foster

Wed, 22 Sep 2021 12:21:41 -0500

Introducing the latest series- the First Responder Series!! Sarah Foster, SWAT wife, joins the podcast with her positivity and humor to share lifegiving content to first responder marriages. Military, this one is for you, too! We have so much we can learn from each other.

WATCH this episode here: https://youtu.be/z7Ckvc1dEMA

Catch the entire series here, including previous first responder content: https://www.life-giver.org/the-first-responder-series-with-sarah-foster/

Looking for a clinician that understands your lifestyle! Search the Lifegiver Directory: www.lifegiverdirectory.com

Check out www.life-giver.org for more content, resources, digital resources, the Lifegiver Directory, and more!

Increase your communication and intimacy in less than 5 minutes with my Lifegiver "5 Minute Check-In"

Special Edition Afghanistan: Through the Eyes of a Leader

Sat, 04 Sep 2021 17:50:34 -0500

In May of 2009, 3rd Squadron 61st Cavalry Regiment deployed to Nuristan, Afghanistan a small eastern province bordering Pakistan. When they arrived, they occupied the most fringe outposts of Regional Command East, several of which were only accessible by helicopter, and then only during the cover of the darkest nights of each month, in order to avoid rocket propelled grenade attacks against the airframe.

The squadron commander for the deployment was then-lieutenant Robert “Brad” Brown. In preparation for that deployment, he, along with then-Colonel Randy George, went on the pre-deployment site survey to better understand the terrain and complex environment of which they were only months away from assuming responsibility. During that trip, they arrived at Combat Outpost Keating, a remote outpost named for Ben Keating, who had died attempting to drive one of the lumbering resupply vehicles down the treacherous road back to the forward operating base. Standing in that base built in a valley at the base of three mountains and backed up to two rivers, both men understood that there could be no delay in closing that base for the safety of their Troopers. Anyone who visited COP Keating knew full well that it was the tactically indefensible position in which you could ever place yourself.

But that wasn’t the only conundrum. COP Keating wasn’t alone. In order to close it, you would have to close the other two outposts in the surrounding area, almost simultaneously to ensure that they could provide reinforcing fires for one another. Concurrently, south of the forward operating base, one the observation posts that LTC Brown would be assuming responsibility for had recently been completely overrun by the Taliban, who attacked up a mountain as the Afghan National Army abandoned their post, forcing the remaining US Troopers to call for a broken arrow, requesting fire on their position as they were being overrun. And to complicate all of that, the going-in position of relieving the outgoing unit would have them arrayed across a vast swath of land, terribly difficult to resupply, with barely enough Troopers to simply pull security on their own position.

For multiple reasons they were unable to close COP Keating, OP Fritsche, and COP Lowell as quickly as they needed to. Unknown to the base closure planners of 3-61CAV, as they were simultaneously planning to close the three outposts in Kamdesh, the Taliban was planning a massive complex attack to prevent them from ever leaving.

On the morning of October 3rd, 2009 more than 400 insurgents attacked OP Fritsche and COP Keating simultaneously. A force of only 52 Troopers defended COP Keating, even after Afghan National Army abandoned their post and the insurgents broke through the perimeter, causing a small group of Troopers, led by Staff Sergeant Clint Romesha, to engage the enemy in close-quarters combat, retaking the COP. However, at the end of the day, the Troopers of Black Knight troop, 3rd squadron 61st cavalry regiment would be saying their final goodbyes to eight of their friends who had given their lives during that battle.

The diligent devotion of their squadron commander, however, ensured that this moment would not be easily erased from history. LTC Brown and his staff worked to guarantee the recognition of the heroic efforts of those who went above and beyond to place themselves in harm’s way to protect each other, destroy the enemy, and bring the remains of their friends home. Those efforts to ensure recognition succeeded.

What has since become known as the “Battle of Kamdesh,” resulted in the following awards:

Two Medals of Honor for SSG Clint Romesha and SSG Ty Carter

Two Distinguished Service Crosses for 1LT Andrew Bundermann and SSG Justin Gellagos (posthumously awarded)

Nine Silver Stars

18 bronze stars with “V” device for valor

37 Army Commendation Medals with “V” device for valor

And 27 Purple hearts for wounds sustained in combat

SSG Romesha authored the book “Red Platoon” and Jake Tapper authored “The Outpost,” which has since been turned into a major motion picture.

The fall-out of the battle, including the loss of life, took it’s toll on everyone involved and amongst others within the squadron, however. The subsequent investigation held both COL George and LTC Brown responsible, even though the ISAF-commander at the time, GEN Stanley McChrystal, agreed there was nothing more they could have tactically done to prevent the disaster. Many of the Troopers completed their obligation and left the army, preferring lives of quiet and peace, away from the constant reminder of the toughest day of their life.

LTC Brown however, still had eight months left to command his squadron through a deployment in one of the most kinetic provinces in all of Afghanistan. The two artillery guns on his forward operating base fired over 6000 rounds total during their year-long deployment. He had lost two beloved Troopers before Keating, while sending back home dozens of wounded Troopers before and after the Battle for Kamdesh. To put it in context, in the first four months of his deployment, LTC Brown’s squadron of rag-tag cavalrymen were attacked more than 238 times across seven separate locations. And yet, he persevered with courage, humility, devotion, and determination.

It is why those of us who served with him as the commander of 3rd squadron 61st cavalry regiment unabashedly and unquestionably remember him, to this day, as the best leader we ever served with. As his former chaplain, I can guarantee that he’s the real deal and I am humbled to know him. So without further ado, here is the one and only, Brad Brown.

Special Edition Afghanistan: Through the Eyes of One Who‘s Been There- Part2

Thu, 02 Sep 2021 10:28:51 -0500

In Part 2, Matt continues to share his thoughts about the Afghanistan withdrawal and the ending of a two decade war that he was a part of. After two difficult deployments there, he processes the emotions he has had and revisits the memories it brings up. He also shares what he believe will help him and others take the next healthy step.

WATCH THIS EPISODE: https://youtu.be/Rts4CWDK_54

Catch up on all the other episodes of the Afghanistan Series here: https://www.life-giver.org/the-afghanistan-series/

Special Edition Afghanistan: Through the Eyes of One Who‘s Been There- Part 1

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 12:20:48 -0500

Matt joins the series (finally, lol) to share his thoughts about the Afghanistan withdrawal and the ending of a two decade war that he was a part of. After two difficult deployments there, he processes the emotions he has had and revisits the memories it brings up. He also shares what he believe will help him and others take the next healthy step.

WATCH THIS EPISODE: https://youtu.be/B0Ms7bJbqo0

Catch up on all the other episodes of the Afghanistan Series here: https://www.life-giver.org/the-afghanistan-series/

Special Edition: The Courage & Plight of the Afghan Women

Wed, 25 Aug 2021 11:34:42 -0500

Please listen to my AMAZING interview with Dr. Bina Patel. This is an honest, yet inspiring conversation around the question "What do we do about the Afghan women and children?" It is a tough topic, but one you won't want to miss as you process your own thoughts and feelings about what is happening. Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/PircCtrIuZA You can catch all the episodes (video and audio) here: https://www.life-giver.org/the-afghanistan-series/

Special Edition: Afghanistan- New Trauma

Tue, 24 Aug 2021 11:21:57 -0500

Corie talks about those that are currently deployed and responding to the humanitarian crisis of Afghanistan. How do you proactively face trauma in a way that will reduce the likelihood PTSD? How do you support your spouse when they are exposed to the pain and suffering of civilians outside of combat? ----more---- Supplemental Material: My Interview with Ch Timothy Mallard: The topic of moral injury continues to be discussed within the military and veteran space, but many still are unclear what it is and how it impacts a person and their family. Moral injury is often described as the internal struggle a person goes through after being asked to do something that goes against his or her morals or values. For many of our service members, this is a real issues that deeply impacts their ability to recover. In this FANTASTIC interview, listen as I speak with Chaplain Timothy Mallard, a subject matter expert not only in moral injury, but soul injury. Soul injury, he describes, is an even deeper and sometimes more complicated injury to the soul- often not due to anything the person did- but more so done to them. WATCH THIS EPISODE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RiOq6vrK2I Part 1: What Is Moral Injury Part 2: The Role of the Family Part 3: The Role of Community & God

Special Edition: Afghanistan Through a Saigon Pilot's Eyes

Wed, 18 Aug 2021 18:02:00 -0500

My father, Vietnam Veteran Pilot Wendell Lewis, shares his experience evacuating Vietnamese citizens and orphans out of Saigon in Operation Baby Lift while the North Vietnamese closed in. Considering the disturbing footage of Afghans desperately trying to flee the country and Air Force crews making the difficult choice to evacuate those they could, Wendell shares what that felt like and answers the question, "Is this our Vietnam?" #operationbabylift More on Operation Baby Lift: https://youtu.be/t4-syR5h8mw Watch this episode: https://youtu.be/1eWLn4fO6m8 Check out all the episodes and supplemental material on the Afghanistan Series page: https://www.life-giver.org/the-afghanistan-series/

Special Edition: Afghanistan Through a Gold Star's Eyes

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 20:22:50 -0500

Special Edition: Afghanistan Through a Gold Star's Eyes In light of this week's events, we are bringing you content that will help you process your biggest questions regarding the withdrawal of our troops in Afghanistan. In this unscripted, unedited episode, Krista S. Anderson processes the death of her husband in Afghanistan, her marriage to a soldier now who served there and her message to what many service members are feeling about the loss of soldiers they served with.

WATCH THIS EPISODE HERE: https://youtu.be/YYEPSd9c9es

If you are looking for professional help, be sure to check out the Lifegiver Directory- full of clinicians that understand your lifestyle. Many of them are military spouses and veterans. find it here: www.lifegiverdirectory.com

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E23 Restoration in Relationships, Part 3

Mon, 16 Aug 2021 08:00:00 -0500

Today’s episode is part of a three part series on Restoration. In this series, Corie will unpack God’s design for restoration in relationships especially your marriage.

Recorded at a faith-based event in Oregon, Corie shares how your marriage can move past hurt and into a more intimate and forgiving place. While the Lifegiver Podcast is not necessarily a faith based podcast, it is a place for honest conversation and we believe that conversation often needs to address the deeper questions of spirituality and deeper healing for the soul.

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E22 Restoration in Relationships, Pt 2

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 08:20:37 -0500

Today’s episode is part of a three part series on Restoration. In this series, Corie will unpack God’s design for restoration in relationships especially your marriage.

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E21 Restoration in Relationships, Pt 1

Mon, 02 Aug 2021 17:32:13 -0500

Today’s episode is part of a three part series on Restoration. In this series, Corie will unpack God’s design for restoration in relationships especially your marriage.

Here is a view of Maslow's Ladder, referenced in the episode.

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E20 Our New Normal USO Series Finale Pt2

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 15:14:56 -0500

Matt and I join the USO to finish our series called "You're Leaving Again?" with sharing our lessons learned from the deployment as well as answering YOUR questions. Learn how to vision cast for your family and get your marriage to a new healthier place.

Tools and concepts discussed during the series apply to all types of military-initiated separations; from deployments and trainings, to geo-bachelor tours, unaccompanied tours, and even third shift schedules.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E19: Our New Normal USO Series Finale Pt 1

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 11:22:11 -0500

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E18 Reintegration, Pt 2

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 11:28:00 -0500

Matt and I join the USO to talk about how we are handling Reintegration in the "You're Leaving, Again?" series! Reintegration never gets easier, it just changes depending on the season you are in. Coming off a year of COVID and a deployment, Matt seemed to be in a much better spot than I was. In this episode we share our ups and downs and how we are navigating bringing our two separate worlds together.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts:

https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

If you are looking for professional help, be sure to check out the LIfegiver Directory- full of clinicians that understand your lifestyle. Many of them are military spouses and veterans. find it here: www.lifegiverdirectory.com

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E17 Reintegration, Pt 1

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 10:24:00 -0500

Matt and I join the USO to talk about how we are handling Reintegration in the "You're Leaving, Again?" series. Reintegration never gets easier, it just changes depending on the season you are in. Coming off a year of COVID and a deployment, Matt seemed to be in a much better spot than I was. In this episode we share our ups and downs and how we are navigating bringing our two separate worlds together.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E16: The Power of Awareness with Dan Shilling

Sun, 30 May 2021 14:32:00 -0500

In his thirty years in special operations Dan Schilling conducted combat and clandestine missions around the world, founded and then commanded two special operations squadrons—the second one of America's most clandestine special mission units—and worked alongside the CIA, FBI, and NSA to defeat terrorists as well as biological and nuclear weapons proliferation. An adrenaline enthusiast, Schilling is a professional demonstration skydiver, holds the Guinness World Record for most BASE jumps in twenty-four hours, and is a mountain speedwing pilot. For more information on his projects, visit him at DanSchillingBooks.com.

On this episode, we are talking about his newest book, "The Power of Awareness"- where he shares his training and experience on how to stay safe, know your surroundings, reduce your digital footprint, and trust your intuition. "The Power of Awareness" comes out the week of June 1, 2021.

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E15 Launching Out of COVID Stronger

Tue, 25 May 2021 16:39:14 -0500

It seems odd to officially launch Season 6 as the USO series is coming to a close but it could not be a more perfect time to talk about coming out of the last year and a half STRONGER. That is the theme for this season. Listen in as I give an update on the impact of change in my life and how the last year may have impacted your's. We will talk about tips for recovering and finding what brings you joy. Even more, if you are a leader or wanting to get involved more in your community, this season is for you. We will talk about what I am seeing will be needed in our culture to get us back to a place of valuing community and engaging in more face to face opportunities.

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E14 Restoring Trust after Deep Wounds Pt 2

Sun, 11 Apr 2021 17:36:45 -0500

The USO is launching a new virtual series with Corie and Matt Weathers on how military families can stay strong while apart. Corie and Matt Weathers will share how they are keeping their military marriage strong through a season apart - as well as tips for how you can do the same.

Restoring trust after it has been broken can be scary, confusing, and difficult to navigate. Depending on if you are dealing small of large infractions, deep hurt in your relationship can be healed and restored. In this episode, Matt and I talk about how you can ask for trust to be restored, or do the hard work to earn it back. Even if you have been devastated by betrayal, there is hope. Listen in and find out how.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Forgiveness: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-ajqyv-b8c9f1

My Strategy for Affair Recovery: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-5jwg4-b63b20

Here are some of the resources mentioned throughout the episode:

My interview with Dr. Mike Sytsma Here is also my podcast on “Sin in a Christian Marriage” Part 1 & Part 2

More Resources:

• Torn Asunder by Dave Carder. There is also a workbook available for this book. (faith based)

• Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity by Gary & Mona Shriver (faith based)

• Secrets to Surviving Infidelity by Scott Haltzman

• After the Affair by Janis Spring

Rebuilding Trust Video – Using the image of a “trust bucket,” Dr. Mike addresses rebuilding trust after an affair.

Setbacks in Marriage- The Podcast Episode
Women & the Tough Bible Verses– (Topic of Submission and gender roles in the Bible- Authentic Intimacy)
People Are More Important Than Marriage– Authentic Intimacy, When you shouldn’t fight for your marriage
Sexual Intimacy and Post Affair with Mike Sytsma
How do Affairs Happen? New Life Church, Brady Boyd

Articles:

So You’ve Hit a Marriage Setback: 3 Steps
Military Marriage: When to Separate
Mike Sytsma- Betrayal & Affair Recovery (articles and video)
Protecting Your Marriage from an Affair

Books:

Mission Ready Marriage: My Life As An Active Duty Wife Claire Wood
Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage Corie Weathers

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E13 Restoring Trust after Deep Wounds

Sun, 11 Apr 2021 16:59:46 -0500

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Forgiveness: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-ajqyv-b8c9f1

My Strategy for Affair Recovery: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-5jwg4-b63b20

Here are some of the resources mentioned throughout the episode:

My interview with Dr. Mike Sytsma Here is also my podcast on “Sin in a Christian Marriage” Part 1 & Part 2

More Resources:

• Torn Asunder by Dave Carder. There is also a workbook available for this book. (faith based)

• Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity by Gary & Mona Shriver (faith based)

• Secrets to Surviving Infidelity by Scott Haltzman

• After the Affair by Janis Spring

Rebuilding Trust Video – Using the image of a “trust bucket,” Dr. Mike addresses rebuilding trust after an affair.

Setbacks in Marriage- The Podcast Episode
Women & the Tough Bible Verses– (Topic of Submission and gender roles in the Bible- Authentic Intimacy)
People Are More Important Than Marriage– Authentic Intimacy, When you shouldn’t fight for your marriage
Sexual Intimacy and Post Affair with Mike Sytsma
How do Affairs Happen? New Life Church, Brady Boyd

Articles:

So You’ve Hit a Marriage Setback: 3 Steps
Military Marriage: When to Separate
Mike Sytsma- Betrayal & Affair Recovery (articles and video)
Protecting Your Marriage from an Affair

Books:

Mission Ready Marriage: My Life As An Active Duty Wife Claire Wood
Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage Corie Weathers

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E12: Communication Part 2

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 18:38:46 -0500

Communication is the top issue couples ask for help with. We all have different types of communication styles and often that clashes into conflict and hurt. On top of that, no one teaches us how to communicate in healthy assertive ways. Instead, we grow up with passive, passive-aggressive, or aggressive examples to model. Join Matt and I as we share our challenges to communicating over the distance of a deployment and tips for how you can make improvements in your own connection with your spouse.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E11: Communication

Sat, 13 Mar 2021 13:50:14 -0600

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E10: Intimacy Pt 2

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 17:36:11 -0600

Intimacy is a HUGE topic, especially for service couples. In this episode, Matt and I address sexual intimacy and many of the other types of intimacy couples can use to connect. Believe it or not, experts say there is between 5 and 40 different types of intimacy. We take some of the most popular questions surrounding intimacy, especially for couples who have to spend time apart. Don't miss this one!

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E9: Intimacy Pt 1

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 16:17:26 -0600

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E8 Parenting as a United Front Pt 2

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 13:18:02 -0600

This episode answers some of your biggest questions about parenting- especially while apart. Regardless of which stage you are in, there will always be times where you parent out of an imprinting from your own childhood or clash with your spouse on parenting techniques. Listen in as we share some of what we have learned.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E7 Parenting as a United Front

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 13:06:42 -0600

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E6 Holidays Apart Pt 2

Sun, 14 Feb 2021 11:06:14 -0600

This episode covers how you as a couple can stay connected and on the same page during especially difficult Holidays, whether it is Christmas, Birthdays, or even an Anniversary. Listen as Matt and I authentically share how we are doing and what tools we re using to stay connected.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E5: Holidays Apart

Sat, 13 Feb 2021 14:39:34 -0600

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E4: Ripping the Band-Aid Pt2

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 20:24:00 -0600

This episode talks about the feelings that come with having to say goodbye. Everyone knows it is hard, but what if you feel a little bit of relief? Is that wrong? How do you set your sights forward and get on mission? Plus a special guest joins in the discussion...

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E3: Ripping the Band-Aid Pt 1

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 20:23:00 -0600

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E2: The Tension Before You Go- Pt 2

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 20:20:36 -0600

This episode is Part 2 of The Tension Before You Go- So many couples struggle with tension and emotions all over the place before you rip the bandaid to spent that time apart. Matt and Corie cover what they went through and what many other couples describe as one of the most challenging times a couple can go through in the military.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S6 E1: The Tension Before You Go- Pt 1

Tue, 09 Feb 2021 18:47:58 -0600

This episode is Part 1 of The Tension Before You Go- So many couples struggle with tension and emotions all over the place before you rip the bandaid to spent that time apart. Matt and Corie cover what they went through and what many other couples describe as one of the most challenging times a couple can go through in the military.

To access the Series dashboard, including the videos and handouts: https://www.uso.org/campaign/mvp-youre-leaving-again

Find out more about me www.corieweathers.com or www.life-giver.org

S5 FINALE: Know When to Hold'em, Know When to Fold'em

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 05:35:00 -0600

How do you decide when to hold steadfast and persevere? When to walk away? When to run away? Life is a gamble, a risk. We do everything we can to make good, right decisions with what we have in the moment. Yet the hardest thing to do is walking away and saying "no". It feels like too big of a risk. Yet, this year has gotten too big for all of us- asking us to make a choice. You can't do it all and neither can I. Listen in for updates on how 2020 affected me and what I am doing with the cards I have in hand.

Interested in Joining Fight Club- A Virtual Support Group for Military & First Responder Spouses? Starts Jan 11, 2021 Apply here: https://forms.gle/RCf8jYnq5bdkEZiHA

The Gambler, by Kenny Rogers On a warm summer's evening
On a train bound for nowhere
I met up with the gambler
We were both too tired to sleep
So we took turns a-starin'
Out the window at the darkness
The boredom overtook us
And he began to speak He said, "Son, I've made a life
Out of readin' people's faces
Knowin' what the cards were
By the way they held their eyes
So if you don't mind my sayin'
I can see you're out of aces
For a taste of your whiskey
I'll give you some advice" So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he bummed a cigarette
And asked me for a light
And the night got deathly quiet
And his face lost all expression
Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy
You gotta learn to play it right You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep
'Cause every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for
Is to die in your sleep" And when he'd finished speakin'
He turned back toward the window
Crushed out his cigarette
Faded off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler he broke even
But in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done

Find resources for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5 E21 A CURE to the Cough: The Weinberger Method

Mon, 23 Nov 2020 00:05:00 -0600

What if I told you I found the cure for the common cough? Well, it actually wasn’t me, but after our son fought an “Asthmatic cough” for four years we finally came across Dr. Weinberger and the “Habit Cough”. Joining me for this episode is Dennis Buettner, a Cough Research Director for Dr. Miles Weinberger, MD. and a veteran that works with NASA.

Dennis’s daughter Bethany went through the same thing our son did- coughing up to 5,000 times a day with no answers. Like many of you out there who are trying to find answers, both of our families went through endless doctors, diagnoses, and medications before doctors finally threw up their hands with nothing left to offer.

Dennis finally stumbled on some research about a pulmonologist who found the cure for the cough through suggestive therapy- teaching kids to be attentive to their bodies and stopping the cough in as little as 10 minutes! Bethany was able to stop her cough, so was our son, and now Dennis is spreading the word about how if you or someone you know can answer one question of his- you can stop the cough too.

Seriously, Dr. Weinberger has changed our lives. More importantly, he gave my son back his.
For more on Dr. Weinberger and the Habit Cough: https://www.habitcough.com/

Find resources for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5 E20 The Fear of Transition: Derek Abbey Pt 2

Mon, 09 Nov 2020 00:30:00 -0600

Derek Abbey, PhD joins me again! I enjoyed my last conversation so much with Derek, I invited him back to share his research on transitioning into the veteran space. Derek says that there are important stages we should all go through in order to help us mature as well-functioning adults. The military sets the perfect conditions by providing almost everything we need as adults. It provides community, a way to progress through rank and accomplishment, and makes many of our decisions for us.

Although the military “saved his life”, Derek shares what he has learned from helping veterans take the next big step in their lives in higher education and helping veterans take the next big step in their lives. The result was a fascinating conversation on what we all need to do to evolve to a better version of ourselves.

Derek Abbey, PhD is a retired Marine and CEO of Project Recover.

Find resources for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5 E19 Legacy with Derek Abbey, Project Recover

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 05:00:00 -0500

Derek Abbey, PhD is a retired Marine and CEO of Project Recover joins me for a fascinating interview where we talk about the importance of leaving a legacy and how Project Recover is healing families’ stories.

Project Recover, an international nonprofit that uses the latest in science, technology and archival research, with a mission to find and repatriate the remains of fallen American troops.

Derek Abbey says there are 82,000 Americans in uniform missing in the world today. Around 7,000 of those are from the Korean War, with another 1,600 missing from Vietnam and Southeast Asia. A staggering 72,000 are missing from World War II, a conflict in which sixteen million Americans served or about 12% of the population.

Here is a little of what we cover:

How his 23 years of military service, including his deployments to Iraq and the Far East as a fighter pilot, saved his own life and have influenced him to support the mission of finding and returning fallen service members home. Derek holds more combat hours than hours in peaceful skies, and also served with the Marine Raiders in Afghanistan.
WWII American troop discovery stories and first-hand insights on the overall recovery experience
How families can be impacted by loss for generations after a war has ended
Examples of how Project Recover leverages technology and partnerships with University of Delaware and Scripps Institution of Oceanography at the University of California San Diego in an attempt to find MIA soldiers
How Derek’s values centered approach guides his professional and personal life

Find resources for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5: E18 The Insanity Cycle: Matt and Corie

Mon, 12 Oct 2020 05:50:00 -0500

Matt and I did a webinar and Q&A on the Insanity Cycle that happens too often in marriage conflict. It was a two hour event, the first hour public and the second a private Q&A over Zoom with registered participants.

This is the first hour where Matt and I walk you through why couples find themselves looping sometimes on the same argument- for years. It is common for couples to get into an unhealthy pattern of triggering each other. Getting out of that pattern is the hard part. Once you start triggering each other, it is hard to get out of that downward spiral we call the Insanity Cycle. Are you ready to change the way you and your spouse fight? Are you ready to end the unhealthy patterns and get back to respecting each other?

Here is some of what we cover in this episode:

A walk through the Insanity Cycle and how couples stay stuck in it
How a couple tends to include a Pursuer and a Withdrawer
How you are both feeling and saying the same thing but not hearing each other
How the Pursuer and Withdrawer trigger each other to continue the Insanity Cycle
Ways you can stop the Cycle of hurt and destruction in your marriage
How you can play the "Maturity Game" speak lifegiving truth to your spouse

If you would like to hear Part 2, where we take your questions and dive deeper, you can find it on the LG Shop! This digital download includes Part 1 & 2 Videos as well as a listening guide to help you apply it to your life and marriage. While you're there, take a look at some of the other digital downloads as well!

BONUS: Anthony O'Neal College & COVID

Mon, 05 Oct 2020 05:20:00 -0500

It's a BONUS episode of The Lifegiver Podcast! We knew wrapping up the parenting series would not be complete without talking about our youth and college age kids. There is a lot of anxiety on returning to college during COVID season and that is on top of the stress families already have about paying for college!

Anthony O'Neal, author, speaker, and Dave Ramsey Personality joins us to talk about how right now could be one of the best times to go back to college debt-free. Anthony wrote the best-selling book, "Destroy Your Student Loan Debt" and travels the country talking with parents and college students about how they can avoid the mistakes he did.

Listen in as he shares his story, tells you how college is way more affordable than you think, and how you can take advantage of this season to make it more affordable. By the way, Anthony also grew up as a military kid with his father in the Army and understands the stressors of military life!

Find out more about Anthony O'Neal Here: https://www.anthonyoneal.com/

or listen to his show on Youtube here: https://www.youtube.com/user/aonealministries

Find resources for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org
Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.
Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.
Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5 E17 Parenting Series: Corie Talks Raising Teens

Mon, 28 Sep 2020 06:28:00 -0500

It is the end of the Parenting Series on the Lifegiver Podcast! There have been so many wonderful guests during this season and Corie wraps it up with an episode about raising teens. Reflecting on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, Corie explains how you can help your child through the difficulty of establishing better routines in the chaos of COVID and school as well as how helping them find their place of belonging can mean everything.

Here is the Awareness Wheel, created by Couples communication that is referenced in this episode.

Listen to Corie's original episode on Maslow's Ladder: https://www.life-giver.org/the-secret-of-resilience/

S5 Ep16 Parenting Series: Even the Bravest Kids Need a Knight

Mon, 14 Sep 2020 05:00:00 -0500

Sleep issues and separation anxiety are a real thing for so many parents. With today's anxiety and fear during COVID and back to school criteria, children's fears can manifest at night leaving you frustrated, exhausted and hopeless. Without a good night's sleep, you and your children will struggle to function. In this episode, I talk with Colleen, a dedicated spouse of a veteran and mom of three boys with a master’s degree in psychology. After years of sleep deprivation and exhaustion with her own son, Colleen was inspired to write her first book about a magical knight- a bear that was determined to protect children from their fears. She wanted to help other moms and young children which led to the creation of Sir William the Brave Knight.

Listen in as she shares her story, hope for yours and some ways you can find your own peace and courage to help your children whatever they might be facing.

If you would like to find out more or order your own Sir William the Brave Knight: https://magicalorderofbraveknights.com

If you are interested in strengths coaching, please make an appointment at www.corieweathers.com.

Find resources (including the Lifegiver Newsletter) for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5 Ep15 Parenting Series: ’ESTEEM’ with Tommy Black

Mon, 31 Aug 2020 05:00:00 -0500

“Few things are as difficult for parents as watching their kids struggle. It's especially hard not knowing how to help them!”

Now more than ever, mental health and behavioral issues are climbing which can be pretty scary as a parent. Many military and first responder families take the leap to get help from their child only to have to move or start over. Do you ever feel like you are wasting precious time waiting for all of them to communicate and start making progress? How many times has your child acted out on a weekend and you wish the professional could have seen it themselves but they aren’t open until Monday? Meet Tommy Black. He’s a clinician that teamed up with some other really cool professionals that made an app to get your child’s wellness back into your hands again. ESTEEM is an app that helps parents track their child’s emotional and behavioral challenges. Complete with resources, tracking software, and more, you can have complete control of your child’s healthcare at your fingertips. Receive automated goals that encourage progress. Celebrate small wins that add up to big improvements! ESTEEM also makes it super easy to have teachers, counselors, and any other other professionals share important information about how your child is doing in one place so you can make the best decision for your child. Join us as we talk about why he created the app as well as some really encouraging words about how you can parent through the COVID crisis. You will love this interview!

Download the ESTEEM App today: https://www.chooseesteem.com/

If you are interested in strengths coaching, please make an appointment at www.corieweathers.com.

Find resources (including the Lifegiver Newsletter) for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5 Ep 14 Parenting Series: COVID & Public School

Mon, 17 Aug 2020 05:41:00 -0500

What kind of relationship do you have with the public school system? Does it give you anxiety? Do you feel like you are always trying to advocate for your child- especially if you relocate a lot? What if we could all work together (better) just a little bit more? What if (like any other relationship) we listened more and built a relationship of understanding?

I invited Dr. Keith Mispagel, superintendent of Fort Leavenworth School District 207 to the podcast. He has a doctorate in military child transition and studied what kids need to be resilient and thrive academically. Even more, his district transitions almost 1,200 new military families every summer for the Command and General Staff College that teaches some of our military's most competitive officers To put it plainly, he is a rockstar leading his staff in welcoming and helping children of all ages transition only to do it all again the next year. I can honestly say it was the best year ever for my kids (who were weary of transition as it was). He is now teaching other districts how to build better relationships with military parents and kids.

Listen in as we talk about the school-parent relationship and what the public schools are going through to make the next year a safer one for our kids.

If you are interested in strengths coaching, please make an appointment at www.corieweathers.com

Find resources (including the Lifegiver Newsletter) for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5 E13 Parenting Series: Back to school & COVID

Mon, 03 Aug 2020 05:01:00 -0500

Are you struggling with making a decision about whether your kids should go back to school with COVID numbers still climbing? This is possibly one of the most stressful decisions our culture of parents have ever had to make. If your kids have been in private or public school settings pre-COVID, how do you decide whether they go back when there are reports of children dying? In this Lifegiver LIVE, we talk about the questions I’m hearing in my sessions as well as questions you’ve submitted. We talk about

How to talk with your kids about this decision
Their opinions about COVID
How schools are shifting standards
How to calm your anxiety about this decision

If you are interested in strengths coaching, please make an appointment at www.corieweathers.com

Find resources (including the Lifegiver Newsletter) for your service marriage at www.life-giver.org

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5 Ep 12 The PROS & CONS of How The Job Changes Us

Wed, 15 Jul 2020 05:07:00 -0500

I couldn't be more excited to have Sarah back with me for another episode of the podcast. Sarah joined me last season for the round table discussion and again on our faith based episode of Where is God in the Dark Places. Sarah is married to a SWAT officer and she shares some of what she wishes she would have known in her early days as a newly married LEO wife. Any job can "change you" and the service profession can definitely have an impact on a person's way of handling life, kids, other people, and even our marriage. But in this conversation, Sarah shares how she has learned to embrace some of those changes as strengths and which have become an area she and her husband can work around or talk through if needed.

If you are interested in strengths coaching, please make an appointment at www.corieweathers.com

Interested in joining the Lifegiver Facebook group to discuss this episode and more? Click here.

Interested in giving back? Donate a couple of dollars to the podcast at Patreon.

Music by Rudy Vaughn

S5E11: Soul Recovery- Brian Flanery from ReBoot

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 07:45:00 -0500

I have been a long time fan of Reboot Recovery-

"REBOOT helps people overcome trauma through faith-based programs. Our courses, training and online community are open to anyone connected to military or first responders. If the same old therapy or medication has left you feeling hopeless, you've come to the right place. At REBOOT, we’re overcoming trauma together and can't wait for you to join us."

In this episode, Bryan Flanery a veteran who struggles with TBI, shares his story of trauma, faith, and how the genuine relationships of those behind Reboot changed his life. You will be changed by this episode. Contact Reboot for more on how you can get involved, find a small group and get the support you need as a military or first responder couple.

Hear more of Bryan's story here: https://neveralonemilitary.com/stories/view/bryan-flanery

Interested in subscribing to the Lifegiver Newsletter? Subscribers get discounts on their first session with Corie and find more information on building a community of Lifegivers. Click here to subscribe.

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

S5E10: Tips & Perspective from a NG Spouse (Cierra)

Mon, 15 Jun 2020 03:11:00 -0500

My good friend Cierra joins the podcast to talk about her experiences as a National Guard spouse. We so often hear about the challenges of National Guard families- that they don't have access to the programming active duty families have and that living in the civilian community can be isolating. So in this interview, Cierra shares her experience of deployment while living in the civilian community and the challenges National Guard life brings into their marriage. National Guard and Reserves are now deploying just as much as active duty and Cierra gives fantastic tips on how she has learned to manage the home, school, and work while also building a connected marriage.

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

S5E9: Loss & Love Again with Mary-Anne Rubado Kline

Tue, 26 May 2020 06:19:33 -0500

Loss can be a terribly difficult thing to talk about- especially when we exist in a lifestyle where it is both a fear and reality. We need to be able to talk about it and learn from those who have gone through it and found happiness again. In this Memorial Day special, Mary-Ann Rubado Kline joins the podcast to share the loss of her first husband, Charlie, during their first deployment while stationed in Colorado. She is now married to Jeremiah, a veteran and first responder. I ask her tough questions about what it is like to love again, how Jeremiah allows space for the time she lived with Charlie, and more.

It is important to hear the stories of those who have gone through great pain. It acknowledges a Sacred Space that they lived through and were changed by. Even though this may be difficult for some of you to hear, I hope you will listen. There are so many wonderful truths and so much wisdom found in my interview with her. I have no doubt you will be encouraged and inspired to live and love more fully.

Thank you Mary-Anne for sharing your heart and being so vulnerable with us!

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

S5E8: Kellie Artis with Moving the MILLIE Way

Fri, 15 May 2020 02:54:00 -0500

It is PCS (Permanent Change of Station) Season and if you listened to season 4 of Lifegiver, you know I struggle when it is time to uproot! MILLIE has been growing over the years in their efforts to make it easier for you to transition, and I need a whole lot of that! In this episode, Kellie Artis joins me to share not only how MILLIE can connect you to other service families in your new location, but how you can be fully prepared in finding housing, handling logistics, and more. We even talk about the emotional and psychological impact of starting over. Don't miss this one! For more on MILLIE: check out their website, Facebook group, and all their toolkits to help you in the process!

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

S5E7: Milkids, The Voluntold Force- with Becky Porter (MCEC)

Wed, 29 Apr 2020 07:50:45 -0500

When you are a parent, you will do anything for your child(ren). As a military family that moves a lot, a lot of thought and stress goes into making sure your child has everything they need to succeed. Especially when you volunteered for this lifestyle and they were born into it. In this episode, I invite Becky Porter, CEO of Military Child Education Coalition to share what they are doing to make all of this easier for military parents and educators.

If you are a first responder family, this episode is still for you! Listen in to the vast resources that MCEC is offering that everyone can benefit from.

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

Bonus: Matt and Corie Join the USO to Answer Your Marriage Questions

Tue, 21 Apr 2020 08:35:56 -0500

The world looks a whole lot different lately. COVID-19 has the entire world on lockdown (or so it feels). We are all doing our part to stay at home, some of you have PCS and deployment orders that are delayed. Regardless of your situation, this has a great impact on your marriage. You might be spending more time with your spouse than ever before and that can definitely cause tension. In this episode, Matt and I share our conversation with the USO during their Coffee Connections Live event. We answered questions about communication, growth in your marriage, holding each other accountable, as well as how to help your spouse open up. If you are looking for more support, check out the USO for not only ways to give back, but for how they are also looking to invest in your overall wellbeing with their programming for spouses!

Here are a few of the resources mentioned:

Favorite Resources: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10Kl4WnHjnhUerU1cOc58nb3tHF7Ru8Tm/view?usp=sharing

Sacred Spaces: https://www.life-giver.org/sacred-spaces/

Forgiveness: https://www.life-giver.org/forgiveness-in-affair-recovery-gods-design-in-marriage/

S5E6: Late Night Lifegiver: Matt and Corie Review Mr. Rogers Movie

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 00:15:00 -0500

Join Matt and Corie Weathers for a special "Late Night with Lifegiver"- an impromptu sit down after watching "A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood" with Tom Hanks.

This movie was so touching, Matt and Corie had to sit down to talk about it. Other things mentioned:

Benjamin Zander Tedtalk: "The Transformative Power of Classical Music"

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

S5E5: You Are What You Believe with Dr. Kendra Lowe

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 02:50:00 -0500

Dr. Kendra Lowe knows the challenges service members face as she is a Veteran herself. When she switched to the civilian life Dr. Kendra was surprised to note that she experienced just as much stress as a spouse as she experienced while in the service.

"The concepts and perspectives derived from Dr. Lowe’s decade-long research, aims to provide command teams with an operational approach to combat the mission degrading effects of military spouse stress."

There is stress for spouse and it's significant. We know that. But what now?

Her book answers that question.

Dr. Kendra has created a resource that walks the reader through 8 weeks of changing their thought processes. Her website states: This comprehensive and invaluable tool will help you accept the unique nature of military life, anticipate and persevere in the face of social-emotional setbacks, practice effective coping strategies, and learn to thrive on to new possibilities. Read more:

Resources:

Dr. Kendra's website

Her book titled Wake Up, Kick Ass, Repeat: A Guide to Self Perseverance Within the Military Spouse Life Cycle

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

Bonus: Lifegiver LIVE Coronavirus Forcing Families into Homeschool

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 19:26:43 -0500

To the surprise of, well, everyone... kids who were in public schools are now at home facing a homeschool-like situation. Parents are now scrambling trying to balance remote work, parenting, quarantines, and now overseeing their child's education. If you are feeling overwhelmed, Jennifer Hamrick has words of encouragement for you. You can love your child and be a fantastic parent and still be very unhappy with this new situation. Listen in as Jennifer shares great tips for how to manage a house full of kids and still have time for you.

Bonus: Lifegiver LIVE Matt Interviews Army Chaplains on Sustaining Care & Community

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 15:03:07 -0500

Matt interviews two US Army Chaplains about how they are creatively sustaining community and care using social media and other platforms. With the introduction of the Coronavirus, ministry teams and churches are looking to find new ways to care for each other, embrace the newest generations, and connect online rather than face to face.

Lifegiver Live: Coronavirus Bonus Episode 1

Wed, 18 Mar 2020 15:32:58 -0500

Matt and I do our first live streaming episode where we talk about the impact of the virus on our community. We specifically talk about how to handle the tension of being quarantined in your home 24/7 with your spouse and children. For our community, couples are often not used to being around each other all the time or as FR families are now facing long hours with an invisible enemy. Listen in for tips to navigate your conversations. Here are a couple of resources we mention:

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

S5E4: What's on the Backburner?

Sun, 15 Mar 2020 02:44:00 -0500

Join us as we take a moment to assess how we as service families are doing and what we can do to influence the change we need in our own lives.

The Blue Star Families survey results were recently released and, not surprisingly, it was noted that we are struggling in several key areas. Listen in as Corie unpacks these and provides tips on how to ask for what you need.

If you are a spouse and feel relegated to the back burner, we understand. We know that it's often where we have to go... mission first. However, you can't stay there indefinitely. Your marriage can't stay on the back burner indefinitely. In this episode Corie talks about what to do if you are struggling with the way things are.

As always, we at Lifegiver strive to encourage you give your spouse the benefit of the doubt (regardless of whether he or she is the serving or supporting spouse). Assume your spouse is trying their best, and in light of that, assume that they want what's best for you. Being assertive and asking for what you need is absolutely okay and your spouse will probably be glad not to have to read your mind.

Want to give back? Send a monthly cup of coffee to keep us going by being a supporter on our patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/lifegiver

S5E3: Marriage Makes Us All Better

Sun, 01 Mar 2020 06:18:00 -0600

Bree Carroll is an engineer using her skills as an event coordinator and wedding planner.

When Bree saw some marriages around her fail mostly due to a lack of resources to help them get through the challenges they faced. The resources were too hard to find. Not complied. suicides
As a person of action she made the leap from spectator on the sideline to influencer, making it her mission to connect those hurting to those who have the ability to help.

One of Bree's passions is wedding planning so watching marriages fall apart is counter to her very existence.

S5E2: Heather Ehle with Project Sanctuary

Sat, 15 Feb 2020 06:00:00 -0600

What we discuss:

In this episode Heather shares her story about being a Registered Nurse and her introduction to the challenges military families face. Because the stress of the lifestyle affects whole family she wanted to find a way to help an organization that was caring for the family unit.

When she didn’t find one that was serving whole families she created one. Project Sanctuary hosts 6-day retreats that focus on overcoming obstacles: financial, communication, family counseling, PTSD, and more. There are ten different locations and in 2020 there are 32 retreats planned.

Two hours a day are spent in therapeutic sessions. There are incredible activities at each location including fishing, white water rafting, horseback riding, ziplining, and snowmobiling. Some of these are once-in-a-lifetime activities while other activities are able to be replicated once the family goes home (hiking or playing board games).

Licensed and trained counselors are on-site all week. Break-throughs on the part of both the veteran and the spouses occur at each retreat!

Once a family has been on the retreat they are welcome to return as volunteers.

Resources and Links:

About Project Sanctuary

Apply to attend a retreat

PS: Jennifer here... My family was able to attend a Project Sanctuary retreat at Snow Mountain Ranch and I had two personal breakthroughs during the PTSD session. As a Chaplain's wife I figured I'd heard most of the stuff they were going to cover so the fact that I had two major breakthroughs I didn't know I needed was powerful. One is related to a minor change in my husband after deploying twice. After two tours he started bouncing his leg while sitting and it was incredibly annoying. (Still is, to be honest.) In the PTSD session the speaker mentioned that this is a common side effect of combat trauma. I constantly asked him to stop doing this. The PTSD session mentioned this was a natural and healthy way to release tension and that my asking him to stop was basically me asking him to keep that tension bottled up. The leg bouncing is still irritating but after that session I rarely ask him to stop. I see it for what it is now.

The other breakthrough was having my own deployment-traumas validated. I didn't know that the supporting spouse could have legitimate traumas caused by deployment. I didn't face war. I didn't face danger. I didn't see death. And yet, I was changed and in some ways, the changes were strange to me. I got mad when my husband mowed the grass (it was my pet project during the 15 month deployment and he dared to touch it). I also didn't like for him to drive once he got back. I had spent the entire time taxiing the kids around and once he got back I didn't trust him behind the wheel. I had actual, physical manifestations of fear when he'd drive and he's a really good driver! Looking back I can see so clearly that both of these reactions were trauma-based but had no idea. How much easier reintegration would have been had we both known these things about ourselves and each other.

These two breakthroughs were worth the time it took for us to drive from Texas to Colorado for our retreat but there were many other benefits and experiences that made it spectacular. It was, in a literal and figurative sense, a mountaintop experience.

Season 5 Premier: Timing and Tact

Sat, 01 Feb 2020 08:00:00 -0600

Welcome to Season 5! I can't believe we are starting another year of the Lifegiver Podcast. This is the Season Premier where I update you on all that is happening with Lifegiver- including the new Lifegiver TEAM! A special welcome to Jennifer Hamrick and Lisa Walters for their help in making the Lifegiver Newsletter an AMAZING resource for all of you. (Hint: Catch my interview with Jennifer in the first season of Lifegiver!).

If you haven't signed up for the Newsletter, make sure you do!!

In this episode we are talking about the importance of Timing and Tact with our emotions and words. Whether you are in conflict with you spouse, in a leadership position, or even a public advocate. Especially military spouses feel at times like their voice is limited and that any complaining can come across as being a negative spouse. The truth is, we have a right to our feelings and opinions, but have great responsibility in how we express them. Rather than become passive or perhaps worse- aggressive- we can learn to be more assertive in kindness and love. But... also with the right timing and tact. Listen in as I give examples and practical tips on how to be more confident with the amazing influence you have in your marriage, parenting, and in the world.

Become a Patron!

Who's Really in Charge? Season 4 Finale

Thu, 31 Oct 2019 13:12:39 -0500

We are celebrating the end of Season 4 with a big question that likely everyone has asked... "Who is really in Charge?" Is it man? Is it God? When does God get in involved? Why doesn't he? Perhaps you are waiting on orders to your next assignment (like we are) and wondering if the people involved are listening to God. Or maybe you are praying for a promotion or for your spouse to turn back to God. Some of you may have even experienced abuse at the hands of someone else and are wondering, "Why didn't God intervene?" In this Sunday Special, I open up on my own journey to look into the Sovereignty of God and tackle these big questions by diving into what scripture says about it.

Thank you for a fantastic Season 4!

Included in this episode: A portion of James Cordon's Late Night Show. To listen to the full video, watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgLOv36an3s

Mentoring is BACK: The Power of Face to Face

Tue, 15 Oct 2019 07:58:00 -0500

We are nearing the end of Season 4 with a fantastic interview with Vernice Castillo of Military Spouse Advocacy Network (MSAN)! There is no one better to talk about the importance and trend of mentoring than Vernice. In this episode, we come full circle from Episode 1 with a discussion on how mentoring in our military and first responder culture is impacting the wellbeing of so many military spouses who are reporting issues of loneliness, fatigue, exhaustion, and resentment. Listen in and allow Vernice to remind you of why face-to-face is so much moree fulfilling than online connection. It might open your eyes to what you've been missing.

If you would like more information on how you can get involved with MSAN, click here: https://www.militaryspouseadvocacynetwork.org/

To listen to a previous episode on mentoring and the various generational shifts, listen to my previous episode: The Village.

Seeking Counseling: Everything You Need to Know

Thu, 03 Oct 2019 17:27:11 -0500

Get ready to take some notes!! This episode is LONG overdue and chock full of so much information. I get asked weekly, "How do I find a clinician?" "What do I search for?" "How will I know if they are a good fit?" For years I dug into Psychology Profiles and even websites looking for clinicians that were not only competent, but understood the service lifestyle. This year, I launched the Lifegiver Clinician Directory- the first ever searchable directory and database of clinicians that have a passion to serve you and some of them are even first responders, spouses, and veterans! Now you can find someone using the map or search fields to find the kind of provider that works for your family!

In this episode I also cover:

How to know if you need counseling
The difference between a counselor, psychiatrist, and psychologist
The different types of counseling and treatments
My experience with EMDR
What I look for in a clinician
How to handle your counseling relationship when it doesn't feel like a good fit.

Stay tuned, Season 4 is coming to a close soon. Listen in as I talk about the vision for Season 5!!!

The Deployment Countdown with BraveCrates

Sun, 15 Sep 2019 08:00:00 -0500

Becky Hoy from Brave Crates joins the podcast to share how you can better your marriage even when you are apart. Becky Hoy believes that deployment is one of the best things that has ever happened for the growth of her marriage and her own personal development. As an Army spouse whose husband has been deployed or otherwise away from home for roughly half of their seven years of marriage, Becky realized quickly that wishing away the days during deployment could not be an option for her. To share this message with other spouses Becky founded Brave Crate. She shares weekly tips and inspiration as a blogger for Brave Blog and and has curated the deployment- positive support community for military spouses called Brave Board. ABOUT BRAVE CRATE For military spouses, counting down to being reunited with their deployed service member can feel like a never ending journey! That's why each month Brave Crate sends a box of curated self development and personal wellness products that allow her to shift her focus away from counting the days and onto setting goals and finding joy- so that she can conquer the deployment countdown and meet her spouse at homecoming as the strongest and most resilient version of herself. To find out more about how you can subscribe to Brave Crates or gift someone else, head over to www.bravecrates.com

A Marriage Check Up With Dr. Les Parrott

Sun, 01 Sep 2019 06:04:00 -0500

Dr. Les Parrot joins me for an episode that is all about how couples can use a tool like the Better Love Assessment to get a healthy snapshot or check up on their marriage. Dr. Parrott is a globally sought after marriage psychologist along with his wife, Leslie Parrott also a marriage therapist. Together, they have written several books and speak on how to improve your marriage communication, reduce conflict, improve your sex life, and much more. In this episode, Dr. Parrott shares more about the Better Love Assessment (found at www.betterlove.com) in pointing out the individual strengths in your marriage. Better Love can be a great tool for date night discussions, working on your marriage during a deployment or separation, and even ways to talk through topics that are normally hot topics. To find out more and subscribe to Dr. Parrott's resources, check out www.lesandleslie.com

The Impact of Family Readiness on Marriage

Thu, 15 Aug 2019 07:00:00 -0500

Matt joins me again for another episode where we talk about the impact of Family Readiness on the marriage. For years, decades even, the military has told families that their support makes the mission successful. Unfortunately, families are getting tired and are wondering at what cost. In this episode, Matt and I have an honest conversation on how families indeed play a pay in mission readiness but also how we can change our perspective to a more influential one that can change the trajectory of our entire family.

The Warrior with Blood on His Hands

Sun, 11 Aug 2019 07:00:00 -0500

Most of us know that there are stories of war in the Bible, but what does it say about the warriors? In this Sunday Special, we take a look at a specific warrior in the God's story and the impact of war on his life. We will address the tough topic of "What does it mean to have blood on your hands?" What does that say about you? Your marriage? When you are asked to be the good in the world, face evil, but to do so requires the willingness to take a life? Scripture actually addresses this and I'm excited to share with you what I've found.

Forgiveness in Affair Recovery: God’s Design in Marriage

Mon, 22 Jul 2019 14:59:14 -0500

In this Sunday Special, we address the biggest faith question I get during affair recovery, which is how and when do I forgive? Of course this is a difficult question to answer depending on the damage that has been done. Join me as I walk with you through scripture that gives us a blueprint for forgiveness and hope for restoration. I address:

What is God's purpose and design for marriage
How and why the enemy wants to destroy your marriage
What Jesus says about when to forgive, and
How We are not called to repeatedly forgive without boundaries.

Sunday Special's on the Lifegiver Podcast are a chance for us to dive deeper into honest conversations regarding our faith and topics that come up in our marriage. In the last episode of the Lifegiver Podcast, I shared with you my strategy for affair recovery. If you haven't heard that episode, listen to it here:https://www.podbean.com/eu/pb-5jwg4-b63b20

Communicating Through Change/PCS

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 07:03:00 -0500

Join Matt and I on a Saturday afternoon over coffee where we talk about our recent PCS (relocation). We talk about how it affected each of us, our marriage, kids, and ideas fro how you can communicate through big changes your own family goes through. Referenced in this talk is a previous episode on Resiliency and Maslow's Ladder

My Strategy for Affair Recovery: How to Move from Crisis to Intimacy Again

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 07:03:00 -0500

Betrayal, is unfortunately more common than you think- especially in the service culture. In this episode I share with you the strategy I use to help couples work through affair recovery. There are three phases and couples will certainly stall if not fail to recover their marriage if they miss important steps throughout the phases. Two people, if are both willing to work hard, can rebuild their marriage after an affair and go on to have a rich relationship.

Here are some of the resources mentioned throughout the episode:

My interview with Dr. Mike Sytsma Here is also my podcast on "Sin in a Christian Marriage" Part 1 & Part 2

More Resources:

• Torn Asunder by Dave Carder. There is also a workbook available for this book. (faith based)

• Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity by Gary & Mona Shriver (faith based)

• Secrets to Surviving Infidelity by Scott Haltzman

• After the Affair by Janis Spring

Rebuilding Trust Video – Using the image of a “trust bucket”, Dr. Mike addresses rebuilding trust after a affair.

Articles:

So You’ve Hit a Marriage Setback: 3 Steps
Military Marriage: When to Separate
Mike Sytsma- Betrayal & Affair Recovery (articles and video)
Protecting Your Marriage from an Affair

Books:

Mission Ready Marriage: My Life As An Active Duty Wife Claire Wood
Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage Corie Weathers

Addiction & Marriage Part 2

Sat, 15 Jun 2019 07:00:00 -0500

When a good friend approached me and asked why I had not addressed addiction and alcoholism on the podcast yet- I didn't have an answer. I could not believe this topic had not been covered yet. As Alyssa and I talked, she shared with me that she had searched everywhere for solid information on how to address alcohol addiction in her marriage. Ultimately, I invited her to courageously share her story. In this two part interview, Alyssa shares how alcohol in the service culture impacts so many marriages and families and how she approached her husband on his drinking.

There are many different ways that alcohol, pornography, or many other addictions can destroy your marriage. We won't be able to address addiction from all sides in this interview, however I am so proud of how Alyssa handled her situation. Alyssa does a fantastic job not only respecting her husband and marriage, but also modeling healthy boundaries, asking for change, and supporting her husband through his recovery.

If you are struggling with addiction or your spouse is, there is help out there. No couple should approach a situation like this alone. Counseling, the military ASAP program, and 12 Step Programs in your area can provide you the help you need to navigate the complexity of addiction and recovery.

Why Friendship is Still Worth It

Sun, 09 Jun 2019 07:00:00 -0500

In this Sunday Special, I talk with Megan Brown, the If Gathering Military Outreach Communicator- basically that means that she loves Jesus and loves to get people excited about it. I met Megan (officially) at the AFI Military Spouse of the Year Awards 2019, but I've been watching her for some time. Her personality is as colorful as she is! After hearing her lead a couple of morning devotionals, I knew I wanted to have her on the podcast.

In this episode, Megan shares the importance of friendship in this crazy military lifestyle as a "life or death" importance. Listen in as she shares how community and boundaries can breathe life into us from a biblical perspective.

Go here to find out more about If Gathering Military

https://youtu.be/9r7inlWFO54

Addiction & Marriage Part 1

Sat, 01 Jun 2019 07:00:00 -0500

Where is God? A Conversation About God in the Dark Places

Sun, 19 May 2019 07:23:00 -0500

Welcome to another Sunday Special! I am so happy to bring back my good friend Sarah- you may remember her from episode two when we had a roundtable discussion. I wanted to being back Sarah because she is not only funny, but I just love to listen to her talk!

In this episode, Sarah and I talk about what it is like to go through difficulty and feel like God is distant. Is he trying to teaching you something? Is this happening because I did something wrong? It is so easy to try to rush through difficult circumstances and learn whatever you have to learn to end the struggle when what He really is trying to do is grow your character. Join us as we wrestle through this conversation of "Where is God in the Dark Places?"

My Spouse Doesn't Care About My Feelings

Thu, 16 May 2019 11:43:36 -0500

We often hear from couples that the service lifestyle has made my spouse "cold, calculated, and harsh." While this may be a nature versus nurture debate, the service lifestyle can definitely train a person to see the world in a different way. In this episode, Corie and Matt come together to talk about how this doesn't have to create more conflict in your marriage- in fact it can be a strength that you lean on!

Matt shares how growing up in a first responder home shaped him into the man he is today as well as understanding the internal emotional world of warriors- in our community and military. Join us in a fun and moving discussion on how you can embrace who you are as well as how life has shaped you and become a stronger team together.

*** SPOILER ALERT- We talk about Avengers:Endgame in this episode, so please hold off on listening until you have seen it!

What's Going On Down There? Women's Health with Ashley Gammon

Wed, 01 May 2019 07:00:00 -0500

Ok- so first a heads up- we are going there in this episode. We will be talking all about the female anatomy! Guys- this one is for you, too. There is so much women are not educated on and the pelvic floor is just one of them. Ashley Gammon, founder of M.O.M.S (Military Outreach MUTU System) is my guest! After 3 C-sections of her own, something wasn't right. She didn't feel as strong, wasn't making progress in her fitness goals and was experiencing a whole lot of symptoms that you are likely experiencing but didn't know there was help for.

Ladies, the trampoline is definitely in your future and so are those HIIT programs and everything else you've been avoiding because... let's be honest. After kids, things just aren't the same. But Ashley says that none of us have to live that way. If you are interested in taking care of your own body and health again and are ready to reclaim your sex life, that trampoline, and get things back where they originally were, check out: www.mutustrong.com

https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/diastasis-recti-mutu-strong-military/ https://militaryspouse.epubxp.com/i/10519 https://armywife101.com/2019/02/military-mamas-want-your-body-back-moms.html https://in-dependent.org/blog/connecting-with-friends-about-womens-health-issues

Connect with Corie Weathers! www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC

Ethan the Strong: A Story of Faith & Courage in the Midst of Loss

Sun, 28 Apr 2019 07:00:00 -0500

This is the second Sunday Special in Season 4 where we have honest conversations around faith in the midst of the service lifestyle. In this episode, I'm introducing you to Jim and Ashley, an Army Chaplain couple, who recently went through one of the most difficult seasons of their life. Shortly after PCSing, Ashely found out she was having identical twins boys about the same time that their two year old son began to have seizures. Stretched thin with doctor's appointments during an already busy season of being stationed at the Chaplain School house, they soon found themselves in an overwhelming situation. Listen in as Ashley and Jim share how their faith was challenged as they fought for the lives of their sons. If you are going through a current season of loss, or have in the past, Jim and Ashley's story will inspire you and encourage you as it has already done for hundreds of families that have watched them from afar.

Identity & Purpose with Brittany Boccher

Mon, 15 Apr 2019 07:00:00 -0500

I could not be more excited to share my good friend, Brittany Boccher with you. She was the 2017 AFI Military Spouse of the Year and has been traveling the country investing in military spouse by helping them define their identity and purpose. Originally, Brittany defined her purpose by advocating for special needs families as she has a son with multiple medical issues. However, she soon found that a bigger issue is plaguing our community- a lack of identity.

Brittany continues to advocate for EFMP families, but her passion for helping spouses reclaim who they are and find new purpose has resulted in her partnering with the USO to create a workshop and workbook titled Discovering Your Spark.

After the results from my latest survey came back showing the same issue, I knew I had to have Brittany on to talk about not only what she was finding as she sits down with spouses face to face, but also what she has discovered herself is a way to find our way back to ourselves again. Find Brittany also on FB: https://www.facebook.com/discoveringyourspark/

Connect with Corie Weathers! www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC

Sunday Special: Embrace Your Story

Sun, 24 Mar 2019 06:13:25 -0500

It's time for the very first Lifegiver Sunday Special. I received feedback that some of you would like faith based content AND hearing from Matt- so this episode is the both of us giving a talk at our old stomping grounds where we first met- Gardner-Webb University. The sound on this one is a bit different because it was recorded in a different place and format, but I hope the message comes through in a way that will encourage your story.

Guess what- You can also WATCH this episode as well! Check it out here:

I hope that you enjoy this episode. I personally am huge fan of Matt Weathers, so I'm happy to share the stage with him anytime.

Connect with Corie Weathers! www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC

A First Responder/Military Spouse Roundtable

Fri, 15 Mar 2019 07:22:39 -0500

Episode 2, Season 4

What happens when a veteran, a military spouse, and a first responder spouse sit down and talk about life together?

In this episode, I bring Ashley and Sarah on the podcast to talk about our different worlds and we would love for you to join us.

Sarah is a first responder spouse, whose husband is now on the local SWAT team. She brings authenticity and humor that will brighten anyone's day.

Grab a cup of coffee or tea and pretend you are sitting at the table with us. You will definitely be changed by this conversation.

Connect with Corie Weathers! www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC

S4 Ep1 How Are We REALLY Doing?

Thu, 28 Feb 2019 06:00:00 -0600

Welcome to the season four premiere of the Lifegiver podcast!

I've returned from my winter sabbatical with new vision for this year and that includes great plans for season 4. When it all comes down to it, it's all about YOU.

In this first episode, I'll briefly share about my plans to make the podcast far more interactive in 2019 as well as talking about the results of a spouse survey I created that went viral. Almost 750 spouses told me how they are REALLY doing and it turns out...

We have lots to talk about.

But there are some of you who are really doing great. So what is the difference? Take a listen to find out where you fall with other spouses in the community. Perhaps you need some encouragement who are figuring out how to balance it all or maybe you have a lot more to offer than you thought...

It's time to breathe life into our family- the community family as well.

Books mentioned in the podcast: Leading Women Who Wound

Connect with Corie Weathers! www.life-giver.org www.corieweathers.com

Join the conversation and participate in future shows! @CorieLPC

Bonus: Sarah Drew on Grey’s, Marriage, & Her New Movie

Wed, 10 Oct 2018 12:20:08 -0500

Find theaters and more on INDIVISIBLE: https://indivisiblemovie.com/

INDIVISIBLE: An Interview with Heather Turner

Fri, 28 Sep 2018 07:00:00 -0500

Watch (or listen) NOW to my special interview with Heather Turner about the upcoming movie Indivisible that tells the story of her marriage to a US Army Chaplain, Darren. Heather and Darren vulnerably share their story of how deployment and reintegration almost cost them their marriage and how they found restoration and hope.
INDIVISIBLE stars Sarah Drew , Justin Bruening, and Jason George from Grey's Anatomy and opens in theaters Oct 26th, 2018.
To watch the INDIVISIBLE Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUDz81_yVGY

Part Two: The Deployment Series

Wed, 12 Sep 2018 15:28:16 -0500

In this 2018 Season Finale, the Deployment Series brings an interview with Lizann Lightfoot, The Seasoned Spouse. We talk all about the struggles of deployment and how you can thrive through any separation with your spouse. Even if you are a first responder, this interview is for you. First responders live daily deployments and experience reintegration everyday your serving spouse comes home.

Find out more about Lizann's Deployment Masterclass by clicking here: https://seasonedspouse.com/ where she offers training, resources, private Facebook groups, and a series from "seasoned" experts ready to encourage you and prepare you.

Part One: The Deployment Series

Fri, 07 Sep 2018 15:52:36 -0500

Strengths Parenting

Fri, 24 Aug 2018 15:50:00 -0500

In this series, join Katie Christy and I as we completely nerd-out on the power of living out your strengths. All of us are good at something. None of us are good at everything. What if you figured out what you are created to do really well, maybe already do really well- and then get even better at it? Welcome to being a superhero.

Part 2: What are YOUR Strengths?

Fri, 03 Aug 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Part 1: Be Confident in Your Superpowers

Thu, 02 Aug 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Part 3: The Role of Community & God

Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:00:00 -0500

The topic of moral injury continues to be discussed within the military and veteran space, but many still are unclear what it is and how it impacts a person and their family. Moral injury is often described as the internal struggle a person goes through after being asked to do something that goes against his or her morals or values. For many of our service members, this is a real issues that deeply impacts their ability to recover. In this FANTASTIC interview, listen as I speak with Chaplain Timothy Mallard, a subject matter expert not only in moral injury, but soul injury. Soul injury, he describes, is an even deeper and sometimes more complicated injury to the soul- often not due to anything the person did- but more so done to them. Sit back with a cup of coffee and listen. You wont want to miss a word of this two-part conversation.

Part 2: The Role of the Family

Fri, 27 Jul 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Part 1: What Is Moral Injury

Sat, 14 Jul 2018 09:00:00 -0500

It Takes a Village

Sun, 01 Jul 2018 09:00:00 -0500

WATCH or listen to this episode! Full transparency- I am in love with Young Life. This organization changed my life during our first deployment, simply because they loved my family when I needed it most. Now that my kids are old enough to be a part of it, I'm shouting it from the rooftops. Young life seres middle and high school students but extends all the way into college while also serving specific groups in need like special needs, teen moms, and more. In this interview, listen as I talk with Alex Holryode from Young Life in Columbia, SC. He shares how you can get your kids involved for extra support and positive role modeling- not to mention tons of fun. Be sure to click the links for more on Young Life and Club Beyond!

Part 3: My Interview with a Gen Z

Sat, 02 Jun 2018 09:00:00 -0500

What could be more honest than a conversation with my own teenager? I could not have a series on Generation Z without bringing one in on the podcast. In this interview, I give Aidan full permission to honestly talk with me about his experiences at school with bullying, active shooter drills, academics, and what it is like to be a military kid that moves around a lot.

Ep 2-Teens with Gary Allen Taylor from Axis

Tue, 15 May 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Do you have a pre-teen or teenager? I am so excited to share with you my interview with Gary Allen Taylor from Axis. Axis is an organization whose mission is to empower the next generation to think clearly and critically about what they believe and to take ownership of their faith. They do this not by outsourcing parents, but by resourcing them to disciple and transfer legacy to their children as they face life’s questions and challenges. We also support faith leaders in churches and schools by providing content and facilitators who effectively introduce and address life’s toughest topics. Raising Generation Z kids is all about having the right information and tools to parent in a loving and effective way. You will love the approach Axis is taking to equip you. Don't forget to sign up for their FREE newsletter called the Culture Translator. It will arrive in your email box every Friday with updates on what is happening in the culture, conversations your teen might be having at school, as well as tips for conversations you can start with your kids.

Ep 1: Emotionally Safe Kids with Dr Joshua and Christi Straub

Mon, 30 Apr 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Parenting is hard enough, but raising kids in a lifestyle of service sometimes feels even harder. For military there are constant relocations that make you wonder after a while if you are causing more harm than good. Accepting the call to a service lifestyle is a deeply personal one. Putting your life on the line for country and community is a sacrifice that impacts your entire family. In this interview I speak with Dr Joshua and Christi Straub, a couple doing outstanding work in the field of parenting. Joshua Straub, Ph.D., has two cherished roles—as husband to wife, Christi, and dad Landon and Kennedy. He serves as Marriage and Family Strategist for LifeWay Christian Resources and leads Famous at Home, a company equipping leaders, organizations, military families, and churches in emotional intelligence and family wellness. As a family advocate and professor of child psychology / crisis response, Josh has trained thousands of professionals in crisis response. He also speaks regularly for Joint Special Operations Command and for military families across the country. Josh is author/ coauthor of four books including Safe House: How Emotional Safety is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well and creator, along with Christi, of TwentyTwoSix Parenting, an online community of parents offering discipleship tools for their kids. Together, they host the In This Together podcast and their weekly Facebook Live broadcasts reach tens of thousands of families. Joshua and Christi have the "In This Together Podcast" where they address topics on parenting and marriage as well as their 22:6 Parenting Curriculum that gives you everything you could possibly need to succeed as a parent including- - A supportive group environment, - Tools to use with your kids and - Monthly curriculum for you to download each month. To listen to our interview on their "In This Together Podcast", Click the link!

Kim Weathers

Sun, 15 Apr 2018 09:00:00 -0500

There couldn't be a better way to finish the Family Series than for me to interview Kim Weathers, my mother-in law and Matt's mom. She is a proud wife to a retired police officer and also now knows what it's like to have a son in the military. In this sweet interview, Kim shares the challenges of accepting her son's calling into the military, what it has been like to see our family change and go through difficulty, and encourages other family members on how to maintain strong relationship with their serving family members. It was a vulnerable conversation for both of us, but so, so, worth it.

For Family (Part 2)

Sat, 31 Mar 2018 09:00:00 -0500

In Part 2, I speak specifically to family members rather than service couples. Many families describe visits like walking on eggshells and that is no way to enjoy a visit! If you have not heard Part 1, definitely start there. This offers practical tips for relating to your service family who might be struggling with PTSD, combat stress, or other changes that might stand out to you.

For Family (Part 1)

Wed, 14 Mar 2018 09:00:00 -0500

Has the service lifestyle changed you? Most likely it has and trying to explain to your families members how and why is difficult. In response to the requests for advice on how to talk with family, I decided to offer you a 2 part segment where I specifically talk to your family! In this episode, I explain some of the cultural dynamics that have contributed to changes they may have seen in your family. These conversations can trigger lots of emotions, so this is a great episode to share with those you love!

We Are Different

Tue, 27 Feb 2018 08:00:00 -0600

I was asked recently to address how to communicate better with family members- especially when the service lifestyle has changed you and your spouse. This is a sensitive subject so hang on to your seats as we tackle perspective from many angles. This episode is all about how to understand what changes your family might see in you. Sometimes we don't even realize how much we have changed until we go back home. We will talk about how to see your own changes as well as what family might see in you. But what if there are significant changes? What if your spouse has PTSD? Here we start the discussion on what you can do.

Coming Back from the Silence

Mon, 05 Feb 2018 08:00:00 -0600

If you are looking for an inspirational story, this is it. Watch or listen to my interview with Lindsay Swoboda, a military spouse and new blogger. In this interview, she takes us into a difficult season of her marriage where she found herself feeling incredibly disconnected from her husband and decided to make an inspiring change. She took the Sacred Spaces Challenge and committed to pursuing her spouse in a new way for 365 days! She is currently the owner of the Uplifting Anchor blog where she encourages other military spouses in their everyday experiences. Find a link to her blog in the links above!

Tiffany Smiley

Sun, 04 Feb 2018 08:00:00 -0600

In this amazing story, Tiffany Smiley shares her journey of excitement as a new military spouse and then tragically becoming a caregiver of her husband who was blinded during his first deployment. Over the course of more than 10 years, Tiffany gave everything she had to her husband and family only to burnout and ask whether God loved her or had a purpose for her. In her vulnerable story, she shares how she came back from a very dark place, renewed her mind, and discovered her purpose in bringing hope to others asking the same questions. Tiffany announces her upcoming conference in Washington state where she can help you write your story, be inspired, and discover a sense of purpose yourself. For more on Tiffany's Story of Faith Conference, visit her website http://tiffanysmiley.com

Telling your Story

Tue, 30 Jan 2018 08:00:00 -0600

Sometimes we just need a place to share our story. Every single one of us has been through something difficult and made it through. I love a good story- one that inspires me to think bigger, live bigger, and love bigger. What I want is to provide a place of encouragement where YOU can share your story with the hope of encouraging someone else. This video will walk you through how to develop your story in a way that will inspire someone else. I hope you will join me.

Good Things

Thu, 09 Nov 2017 08:00:00 -0600

In response to the growing number of "listeners" rather than "watchers", Lifegiver returns to it's audio version. In this series, I return from a recent sabbatical to talk with you about how often times, "good things" can be just as distracting as "bad things". In a service culture, we are often tempted to help, serve, volunteer, or do "more". What if too much of that is pulling you away from your best potential?

More Alike Than Different

Thu, 31 Aug 2017 09:00:00 -0500

In this episode, I talk about the similarities and differences found between military and first responder communities and why we need to find ways to better support each other.

Jonathan & Kylie Towns

Mon, 14 Aug 2017 09:00:00 -0500

In this interview, Jonathan and Kylie share their experience as a law enforcement couple. Jonathan is part of the Dallas Fort Worth Police Department and shares his experience navigating the chaotic schedules and adrenaline spiked work days. Kylie shares how they have navigated keeping their relationship connected and the similarities they see with the military world.

Betrayal & Hurt in a Christian Marriage, Part 2

Tue, 01 Aug 2017 09:00:00 -0500

Last time on the Lifegiver Podcast, Matt and I started a conversation about Christian marriage. In response to my message in Sacred Spaces that we should be pursuing our spouse, I commonly get emails that sound like this... "How long should I pursue my spouse when they aren't reciprocating?" "What if my service member came home different and neglects me and our family?" "How long must I lead before my husband picks up his role as the spiritual leader of our home? These are tough questions and the root issue here is... "How do we address sin in a christian marriage?" -Here is some of what you can expect in Part 2: -Matt and I continue our discussion on gender roles in a godly marriage -We share some of our own story of how we addressed unmet expectations in our marriage -Matt talks to service members who have come home different and need hope

Betrayal & Hurt in a Christian Marriage, Part 1

Sat, 15 Jul 2017 09:00:00 -0500

Every marriage will deal with sin- that is a fact. But when there are destructive patterns like betrayal, addiction, and selfish behavior, what does it actually mean to love like Christ? How do you selflessly serve when firm boundaries need to happen in your relationship? Matt joins me for a 2 part episode on understanding scripture on marriage roles, submission, and dealing with sin.

Wisdom with Suzie Schwartz

Fri, 30 Jun 2017 09:00:00 -0500

Known in the military world as Mama Suzie, Suzie Schwartz has rightfully earned her spot as a mentor for military spouses. Her husband Norton was the Joint Chief of Staff for the Air Force and together they inspired thousands. In this candid and inspirational interview, Suzie shares her wisdom on geo-baching, marriage during a 39 year service to the military, and how she uses her message of kindness to change the world.

Wisdom with Deanie Dempsey

Thu, 15 Jun 2017 09:00:00 -0500

In this sweet, but candid, interview- Deanie Dempsey shares how she and her husband kept their marriage strong after over 30 years in military service. Her husband, General Martin Dempsey was the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff- overseeing the Joint Chiefs of all branches and reporting to the president.

Matt Interviews Corie

Thu, 01 Jun 2017 09:00:00 -0500

In this candid interview, Matthew asks Corie questions without any prep ahead of time. This heartfelt and sweet interview brings out some of Corie's story, but also the drive she has, and why Wonder Woman is (really) her hero.

The Hero's Journey

Mon, 15 May 2017 09:00:00 -0500

After presenting "The Hero's Journey" at the The Military Spouse of the Year Town Hall in Washington, DC, many remarked that it was very helpful to their journey and wanted it available to share. Every one of us is capable of becoming our own hero as we invest in lives around us- hopefully seeing the hero in them as well.

Set Backs in Marriage

Fri, 14 Apr 2017 09:00:00 -0500

We all have hope for a marriage that lasts and is fulfilling. What we often don't expect is how hard it will be when we disagree with our spouse on important values, military marriage problems or finding ourselves moving at a different pace. I haven't met anyone who married thinking, "Gee, I don't plan on making this last." Setbacks can happen when we are least expecting it. An injury while training for a physical goal or a career put on hold for a relocation can be incredibly disappointing and discouraging. You may even be tempted to quit. Most couples have at least one area of their relationship that they are hoping to improve or fix. Parenting, finances and even sex can lead to heated disagreements and (hopefully) deciding together on ways to get on the same page and work together. Life's interruptions or an impulsive decision by one of you can make it feel as if you will never reach that goal. In that moment or setback, quitting feels like a very real option. Sometimes, there are very minor consequences to military marriage problems or a setback that only require a deep breath, a good night's sleep, and starting again tomorrow. But destructive choices such as too much video gaming or pornography use by one spouse can cause even bigger consequences, including feeling like this is a major rift in your ability to be a couple. For some, the marriage is already on thin ice if you are working through serious issues such as overcoming infidelity or addiction. Destructive scenarios like these involve a more detailed process of change and support to gain traction. You may feel like the setbacks will never stop, and you will never be able to move forward. No matter what you are dealing with as a couple, whether it's small or large, setbacks are more likely than not to happen as you work toward a new pattern of behavior for both of you. But that doesn't mean all hope is lost. With a few tools in your pocket, you can move through them. Instead of giving up, try these three steps. 1. Hit a pause button. Learning to develop self-control and hit a pause button when things get complicated is a great practice in general. Self-control gives you the opportunity to think through what is happening, feel any feelings that are naturally there and gain perspective. Relocations and deployments are a natural interruption in the military lifestyle when everything feels out of order. Basic needs such as food, shelter and safety all take priority, and you might feel distracted from the intense focus you had as a couple. For example, if you were dependent before your move on a counselor or group for support, it will take some time to find that again. Try not to rush yourself or your spouse through what you were working through when these bumps come along. Instead, agree on a healthy timeframe to reconnect with support or resume the plan when you are both ready. Having grace for each other and getting on the same page are more important than aggressively working on the goal. If you find your spouse is not as motivated as you are, invest your energy toward your part by reading an extra book on the subject or taking a deeper look through journaling. The important thing here is that you process how you are feeling about what happened and avoid doing your spouse's work. 2. Check your progress. The actual definition of a "setback" involves a "check in progress." Most of us see it as a failure, but it is actually an opportunity to think through the progress you are making -- or not making. In addiction recovery, we teach that relapse is not necessary for recovery but can be "part of the process" if it happens. Setbacks can provide an opportunity to take a look at the deeper issues that caused it so you can avoid similar mistakes in the future. If you move too quickly, you will miss huge revelations of yourself, your spouse and your relationship. If you are dealing with a bigger issue such as rebuilding trust, a professional counselor can help you find these answers and build greater empathy for each other. Keep in mind that stressful times such as deployment, reintegration, relocations or trauma can trigger setbacks or relapses, making them more likely to occur. If this is an intense time for your family, be graceful if the setback happened by learning more about each other and doing a good check on whether the path you were on is working. If you know you are going into an intense season, discuss ways to be proactive to prevent one. 3. Move forward. If your spouse caused your setback, it can be incredibly discouraging to think about moving forward. How many setbacks are too many before you should give up? If you are struggling with this question, finding a counselor to talk to will help you determine what is right for your family. If you caused a setback, the shame is equally debilitating. Even when you don't feel like it, take the next healthy step forward. In recovery, there is a phrase -- "fake it till you make it." It doesn't mean you should be inauthentic. It means you decide to take the next step even when you don't feel like it. Eventually, your motivation will come back. Shame (in you or your spouse) spirals into an unproductive place and is not the same thing as processing the present disappointment. Sometimes, the next step is a willingness to physically reach out and hold your spouse's hand again. Embrace that mistakes in our own lives and our spouses are part of being human. One of my favorite phrases is "start simply, but simply start" and is likely to get you going again. Every couple has military marriage problems and issues to work through, which means setbacks are going to happen. Who will you be when it happens to you?

Win-Win Parenting

Sat, 01 Apr 2017 09:00:00 -0500

In this final episode in the Parenting series we are talking about how to apply Steven Covey's Win-Win habit of 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families to parenting. Trying to get your kids to do chores can be a chore itself often leaving you feeling you are on the losing end. As kids get older, they start wanting to find ways of being on the winning end as well. Win-Win can help you both feel successful while your kids are motivate by their freedom to choose what they do. I also take some time to talk about how teens develop and how you can better understand what is motivating your teen to find his or her peer group or apply themselves to their school work.

Parenting Teens with Pam Brummett

Tue, 14 Mar 2017 09:00:00 -0500

On this episode of Lifegiver, I sit down with my good friend Pam Brummett who has raised three fantastic kids, two of them still in high school. It turns out the military doesn't ruin your kids :)

Bullying with Dr. Bina Patel

Wed, 01 Mar 2017 08:00:00 -0600

Bullying is a worldwide epidemic that impacts both children and adults. In today’s culture, we see cyber-bullying impacting adults like never before. Divisive conversations over social media, trolling, and mean-ness is causing people to think twice about staying connected online. During this episode in the parenting series, I sit down with Dr. Bina Patel an expert in workplace dynamics, conflict mediation with women, and conflict mediation between culture/religious groups. Dr. Patel offers strategies you can use in your workplace, volunteer circles and with your kids on how to confront bullies and build confidence. In today’s culture, ♣ 30% of teens in the US have experienced bullying ♣ School bullying: 1 in 4 kids at school have been bullied; 160K kids in the US miss school due to bullying ♣ Gay bullying: 2 to 3times more likely to commit suicide and 30% of all completed suicides have been related to sexual identity crisis in the US. ♣ 9 out of 10 LGBT students have reported being bullied at school within the past year. It’s not just for kids, though. Bullying between adults can make the workplace difficult to walk into each day. While many of us grew up being told to ignore a bully, Dr. Patel offers some ways to confront the bully immediately. Dr. Patel offers us an inspiring way to help our children build their self-esteem, find their words, get to the root of their feelings, and become assertive. Of course we all need a little bit of this too! Here are a few tips and resources that Dr. Patel offered: ♣ Confront the bully: don’t ignore it. Turn the negative into a compliment ♣ Love and respect: be confident and love yourself. If you respect yourself, the negativity and harsh words of the bullying will bounce off of you. – you control your own emotions, if you believe that you do, others will not be able to hurt you. ♣ Tell them to stop: point out they’re hurting you (assertive communication) – use the “put yourself in my shoes” technique. ♣ Silence: specific to online bullying- confront them through assertive communication, but do not continue the dialog. This is more harmful to the victim as others are reading it and it is set in writing. Note: if nothing else works, the silent treatment is the best treatment. As the victim, walk away from the bullying. ♣ Online bullying: block posts, delete the posts, report them to Facebook; reach out to the victim either via separate/private message, or stand up for the victim by responding to a bully’s post (assertive communication). Note to Parents: Know your child – know their behaviors, moods, and what makes them tick/happy. If you are cognizant of their behaviors on a normal basis, you will know that something is wrong if your child does not eat, becomes withdrawn, looks sad, etc. Monitor the social media outlets that your child may be using. It is wise to create an account to monitor them, more so that you are aware if someone is bullying them. Be a friend! When your child is depressed, sad, withdrawn, etc, talk them as though you are friends. It is important so that the child feels comfortable they can tell you what is on their mind. One of the books recommended: Confessions of a Former Bully

Parenting with Small Kids

Thu, 16 Feb 2017 08:00:00 -0600

Marriage can often feel like a partnership more than a marriage during the years of raising kids. So many families talk about missing the intimacy they used to have and life feeling more like survival. Sure enough, it can feel like you are more shoulder-to-shoulder during this season. In this episode, we talk about how you can make more face-to-face time with your spouse as well as find ways to be more protective of it during the parenting years. We will talk about how to handle conflict, plan dates, as well as navigate the struggle of different parenting styles. A must-listen for military and first responder couples who often feel like ships passing in the night. Here is what others have said: 1. Always make an effort to treat each other as we would a guest in our home. Common courtesy and everyday kindness makes all the difference in the world. A simple "Can I get you anything" or "Can I help with that" have kept our marriage first. 2. Staying positive is really important and although it can be challenging at times I have found it always helps us get back to that sweet spot we long for. 3. Taking even ten minutes to talk to each other. It could be at 0500 or 2200....but either way, just spend some time not on an electronic device (provided they are not thousands of miles away at the time) and asking the other person about their day. We attend Bible studies and church functions where we can grow spiritually while the kids are doing the same. As the kids get older, the minutes will be easier to turn into hours. But for the very small and precious time the kids are little, my best advice is to make the most quality out of the little bits of time.

Compassion Fatigue

Wed, 01 Feb 2017 08:00:00 -0600

Lifegiver is BACK with an all new episode! Welcome to 2017! I've returned from a sabbatical and have been thinking a lot about compassion fatigue and burnout. No doubt that I have seen this in my own life, but what if it is a bigger problem than we realize in our community? If you are burned out from volunteering or giving all of your compassion away to the outside world- you are not alone. In this episode, we will talk about how to know if you are struggling with compassion fatigue and ways you can get yourself back on track and healthy again. It is a big problem, especially if you have nothing left to offer your marriage or family. Military and First Responders have the most difficult time saying "NO" when their entire world revolves around service.

Sexual Intimacy & Post-Affair

Thu, 12 Jan 2017 08:00:00 -0600

Dr. Mike Sytsma is one of the most respected Christian Sex Therapists in the US. Based out of Atlanta, his office, Building Intimate Marriages, sees mostly couples who feel sexually "incompatible" or are post-affair. Most of his post-affair couples continue on to find new hope in their marriage. In this candid interview (FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY), I ask Dr. Sytsma all the questions I believe we are often most afraid to ask, especially as it relates to military specific issues that interfere with a healthy sex life. We discuss what couples can do during and after deployments, how to protect your marriage from affairs, and what you can do to start healing if your marriage is broken because of one. You can find all of the resources Dr. Mike mentioned in the link provided. Special thank you to In-Dependent.org for allowing me to host the Military Spouse Wellness Summit 2016 where I interviewed Dr. Mike and allowing me to post this extended version of that interview here.

Friends: Making and Keeping Them

Sat, 31 Dec 2016 08:00:00 -0600

Who would have ever thought that we needed help with making friends? In the military, we have to make them quickly. In the first responder world, they are necessary to get through daily chaos. In both worlds, they are crucial to survival but did you know that we need to be working on this area of our life? According to Shasta Nelson, author of Frientimacy, we can't just tell someone our life story and suddenly be BFF's. In this episode, Shasta will explain the process of friendship and the importance of understanding just how deep and intimate the relationship actually is. What if you are more serious about the friendship than they are? What if you are incompatible? Can we be friends with the opposite sex?

4 Myths of Marriage

Thu, 15 Dec 2016 08:00:00 -0600

Dr. Parrott is a New York Times Best Selling Author along with his wife Leslie Parrott, a marriage and family therapist. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University – a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships. The Parrotts have been featured in USA Today and the New York Times. Their television appearances include CNN, The View, The O’Reilly Factor, The Today Show and Oprah. As #1 New York Times best-selling authors, their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages, and include best-selling and Gold-medallion winner Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Other popular titles include Real Relationships, L.O.V.E., The Parent You Want To Be, Trading Places, The Complete Guide To Marriage Mentoring and Love Talk. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott In this interview, I talk with Dr. Parrott about his 4 myths of marriage and how they might apply specifically to military families.

Fighting for Marriage with Taya Kyle

Thu, 01 Dec 2016 08:00:00 -0600

In this incredibly moving interview, Taya Kyle opens up about her marriage to the love of her life Chris Kyle. Chris was tragically murdered during the filming of American Sniper, forcing Taya to find a way to move forward with the legacy he was building while mourning his loss. Today, Taya continues to carry out that legacy by investing in military and first responder marriages through the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation. CKFF offers Date Night Out's, Revitalization Retreats for couples, Spouse Retreats, and more. During the 2016 Military Spouse Wellness Summit, Taya shared her wisdom about marriage, perspective on military deployments, what she believed Chris needed from her, as well as how faith has played a role in her moving forward. - If you are married... this episode is for you. - If you have lost someone... this episode is for you - If you are going through a difficult season... this episode is for you - If you are wondering where God is...this episode is for you - If you are looking for hope... this episode is for you This extended interview includes additional questions about her faith, her perspective on the Sacred Spaces of her life being made extremely public, and more. For more information on the Chris Kyle Frog Foundation: www.chriskylefrogfoundation.org

Boundaries with Dr. John Townsend

Tue, 15 Nov 2016 08:00:00 -0600

Does it seem strange to you that it is healthy to have boundaries in marriage? This comes as a surprise to many. Why would I want to have boundaries? Shouldn't we share everything? Couples without boundaries run the risk of becoming enmeshed, chaotic, and not knowing who is responsible for what. I could not be more excited to share this interview with you. I have been a huge fan of Dr. John Townsend for a long time. Often times, the issues I see in the counseling office come down to boundaries- or a lack of. I have recommended his books to more people than I can count. I have seen so many, including me, go on to find freedom and increased connectedness in relationships from learning how to have healthy boundaries. If you were not able to attend the Military Spouse Wellness Summit put on by InDependent.org and sponsored by Armed Forces Insurance, never fear. I am pleased to offer you 5 of the most outstanding interviews from the Summit, uncut, and including additional questions just for the Lifegiver audience. As I take a brief sabbatical, I hope you will enjoy these interviews with fantastic guests like Taya Kyle, Dr. Leslie Parrott and more. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and join me with Dr. John Townsend. Books recommended from today's interview: Boundaries Series: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No-To Take Control of Your Life Boundaries in Marriage Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives The Entitlement Cure: Finding Success in Doing Hard Things the Right Way

The Power of a Blessing

Tue, 01 Nov 2016 09:00:00 -0500

The power of our words is absolutely necessary to us understanding our influence in the relationships around us. In my year of becoming more intentional in my marriage, I have been thinking more about what it means to pay attention to the words that I speak over my marriage and family. For some of you, the idea of a "Blessing" sounds like something from an old country church or maybe something that doesn't happen anymore. What I want to tell you in today's podcast is that our words have an incredible impact in what the people around us think of us, of themselves, and their identity. Today's episode is all about the month of November inviting us to be more grateful, especially as we are entering a season of family and often the tension it brings. Sit back, grab a cup of coffee, or maybe go for a run and let's talk more about the power of the words we use and the words said to us.

Rights of Passage

Sun, 16 Oct 2016 09:00:00 -0500

We all likely remember our first move in the military. Filled with doubt, excitement, adventure, and fear- we learn to navigate the new community, acronyms, and the importance of that ID card. In this raw interview, Claire Wood shares her story that she recounts in her book: Mission Ready Marriage: My Life as An Active Duty Wife. Claire could not be more vulnerable as she shares the anxiety of leaving everything and everyone she knew to start a new adventure with her husband as an Army Wife. Deployment was tough, but reintegration was tougher. Many of us wish we had the guts to be as honest as Claire is as she shares her confusion with wanting to be reunited with her soldier, but struggling with the independence required by spouses during deployment. In Claire's fantastic book, she not only tells her personal story, but includes reflections on what she and her husband needed and how God has brought purpose out of her challenges and victories. You will not want to miss this one and you will definitely want to share it with someone who is going through their first deployment and reintegration.

My Life as a Military Kid

Sat, 15 Oct 2016 09:00:00 -0500

If you have kids, you don't want to miss this episode. My kids have been begging to be a part of the Lifegiver Podcast, and I thought it would be a great idea to interview them on what it is honestly like to be a military kid. Aidan is 12, and in his second year of middle school. Jackson is 9, and in 4th grade. We sat down for an unscripted interview where I encouraged them to be honest about their life and experiences, both the good and the bad. They share some of their struggles and successes, so you will definitely want to let your kids listen. This is a great one to listen to while in the car and then talk about it at the dinner table later. Dinners together as a family have shown in research to be one of the biggest keys to a successful, connected family. While at dinner, ask your kids what their thoughts were about the podcast, what they identified with, agreed wth, or disagreed with. Special thank you to Kelly Keseecker's son Carter for his courageous Shout Out and Janine Boldrin from, Chameleon Kids Magazine, for hers as well. You can find out more about Chameleon Kids Magazine, the only magazine for military kids, by military kids, here.

Sacred Spaces 05: New Vision and Questions Answered

Sat, 01 Oct 2016 09:00:00 -0500

It's another episode of Lifegiver and I am here to announce some really fun changes and new updates. Some of you said you would love to have access to webinars and various forms of media, so today I am pleased to offer two versions of the podcast. Today is all about the new vision of Lifegiver and it shouldn't be a surprise to most of you.

Sacred Spaces 4: An Update on Being Intentional

Fri, 30 Sep 2016 09:00:00 -0500

Today's episode is unpolished and raw- well maybe not emotionally- but definitely unpolished. I want to give updates on how life has been since coming out with the book as well as how living intentionally has changed me as a person and my relationship. I will talk through how you can join the campaign and create lasting changing in your own marriage as well as exciting updates on interviews coming soon!

Sacred Spaces 3: Amanda Marr

Thu, 15 Sep 2016 09:00:00 -0500

We are in the middle of our Sacred Spaces Series on the Lifegiver Podcast and today's interview is a special one. Those of you who have read Sacred Spaces will remember Amanda Marr as the Gold Star Widow I have the honor of serving back in 2009. One of my most Sacred Spaces from that deployment, Amanda joins me on the podcast to have an honest discussion on what it was like to receive notification of her soldier's death, how she took care of herself, and her process to where she is now. This is an inspiring podcast for any listener. Amanda shares her honest thoughts on what makes a Care Team successful as well as tips she has learned about marriage now that she is remarried to an Army soldier. You will be empowered, encouraged, and gain new perspective on your own marriage. Amanda Marr (left), Maria Cordova, Corie Weathers, Venessa Adelson (Gold Star Mother) at White House Medal of Honor Ceremony If you have not read Sacred Spaces, order now! Hundreds are already talking about how my story of being intentional in my marriage is inspiring them to do the same. If you have enjoyed Sacred Spaces, I'd love to hear about it! Join the Sacred Spaces Campaign, by committing to be more intentional in your own marriage. It is simple and free and you will receive a FREE Commitment Card to help you walk through your commitment.

Sacred Spaces 2: A Roundtable with 3-61

Wed, 31 Aug 2016 09:00:00 -0500

Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage comes out August 1 and will be available where most books are sold (Barnes & Noble, Amazon, etc). In celebration of the launch, I wanted to do a podcast series called the Sacred Spaces Series. During this series, I will be talking about common themes our service members and spouses go through during deployments, separations, as well as reintegrations. There will be interviews with key people from the book that shared sacred spaces with Matt and I as well as those I met during the trip with the secretary of defense. There will also be an interview with Matt where we talk about how Sacred Spaces can make a difference in your marriage. So, what is a Sacred Space? I will talk about that in this episode, but here is an easy definition: Many of us, spouses and service members, experience Sacred Spaces separately during trainings and deployments. After a while, it can feel like we are living independent lives more than a together life. This creates many opportunities for misunderstanding and disconnect. In this episode, I wanted to talk about what you can do if your service member comes home with mild, moderate, or severe changes from deployment. I will also address how you can care for yourself so that you can give your best to your marriage. More than anything, I want your marriage to succeed. Because of that, I am inviting you to join the Sacred Spaces Campaign. The Campaign is simple, I just want you to be intentional in your marriage. Only you know what your relationship needs right now. Only you know what the next step is. The Sacred Spaces Campaign invites you to take three steps: 1. Order and read the book Sacred Spaces. It is my story of how being intentional made a difference in my marriage 2. Join the Sacred Spaces Campaign by committing to be intentional. You will get a FREE Sacred Spaces Intentional Marriage Challenge Commitment Card that will help you identify your intentional commitment, nail down the length of time you want to try it out, as well as encourage accountability to follow through. 3. Share your story. Our stories are powerful, and so will yours be. If your service member came home different... if your marriage is different... you are not alone.

Sacred Spaces 1: PTSD

Mon, 15 Aug 2016 09:00:00 -0500

Sacred Spaces: My Journey to the Heart of Military Marriage comes out August 1 and will be available where most books are sold (Barnes & Noble, Amazon, etc). In celebration of the launch, I wanted to do a podcast series called the Sacred Spaces Series. During this series, I will be talking about common themes our service members and spouses go through during deployments, separations, as well as reintegrations. There will be interviews with key people from the book that shared sacred spaces with Matt and I as well as those I met during the trip with the secretary of defense. There will also be an interview with Matt where we talk about how Sacred Spaces can make a difference in your marriage. So, what is a Sacred Space? I will talk about that in this episode, but here is an easy definition: Many of us, spouses and service members, experience Sacred Spaces separately during trainings and deployments. After a while, it can feel like we are living independent lives more than a together life. This creates many opportunities for misunderstanding and disconnect. In this episode, I wanted to talk about what you can do if your service member comes home with mild, moderate, or severe changes from deployment. I will also address how you can care for yourself so that you can give your best to your marriage. More than anything, I want your marriage to succeed. Because of that, I am inviting you to join the Sacred Spaces Campaign. The Campaign is simple, I just want you to be intentional in your marriage. Only you know what your relationship needs right now. Only you know what the next step is. The Sacred Spaces Campaign invites you to take three steps: 1. Order and read the book Sacred Spaces. It is my story of how being intentional made a difference in my marriage 2. Join the Sacred Spaces Campaign by commiting to be intentional. You will get a FREE Sacred Spaces Intentional Marriage Challenge Commitment Card that will help you identify your intentional commitment, nail down the length of time you want to try it out, as well as encourage accountability to follow through. 3. Share your story. Our stories are powerful, and so will yours be. If your service member came home different... if your marriage is different... you are not alone.

Understanding ISIS

Sun, 15 May 2016 09:00:00 -0500

If we were honest, many of us would admit that we do not fully understand the current efforts against ISIS. Sure, I think we know the basics- many of which include how our own homes feel a little more vulnerable to the threat of terrorism more than 10 years ago. There is much debate on US involvement against ISIS, whether we should lead out in taking them down or even be involved at all. During my trip with the SECDEF, one of my favorite moments was watching the media have time with COL Steve Warren in Baghdad and Erbil, Iraq. COL Warren is the spokesman for Operation Inherent Resolve (OIR) in Iraq. What that means is that he is THE person that is responsible for helping all of us, including all American citizens understand what our US military is doing as ISIS continues to threaten the middle east. He is often seen on major networks (CNN, FOX News, NBC, etc) giving updates on the US-led coalition. Now I am willing to play the ignorant card and say there was so much I wasn’t paying attention to, including where some of our troops are in Iraq, what exactly their mission is, and what ISIS has been trying to do. I think I am not the only one. Most likely, you are more like me unless you are heavily involved with foreign policy. It was a huge wake-up call for me as I listened to COL Warren in Baghdad on how little I understood about how our news is made and how much I needed to do to educate myself. In this awesome interview, COL Warren gives some of his time to explain ISIS, Operation Inherent Resolve, and how we can support our troops over there. He has a great way of explaining the complex dynamics of this fight in a way that anyone can understand. Stay tuned to the end where you will hear his person “Shout Out” to all of you and how you can have powerful influence into your service member’s heart.

My Confession

Sun, 01 May 2016 09:00:00 -0500

I recently put out a survey and asked for your feedback on what you have enjoyed from the Lifegiver Podcast and what you would like to hear more of. Overwhelmingly, many said they enjoy hearing real content and me opening up a little more. In this episode, I get very real and share with you the 5 biggest lessons I learned this year. I can tell you that this year was a massive character overhaul for me. I had those in my most inner circle praying for me during times that I felt that I was having to find strength to overcome insecurity and develop the courage and confidence to complete the task in front of me. So in this episode, I open up and talk about what that was like for me and the lessons I learned. I firmly believe these are lessons that all of us need to learn at some point. You will also hear about what the year ahead looks like and how you can join me in making our marriages great.

The Conflict of Money

Tue, 15 Mar 2016 09:00:00 -0500

The top three conflicts that couples come into counseling for involve sex, family, and money. Getting on the same page with our spouse when it comes to spending and saving money is not easy. Many couples find themselves in debt due to student loans, multiple relocations, and as Dave Ramsey calls them stupid-tax decisions (spending choices we make and regret). In this interview on Lifegiver and I am thrilled to have William (Bill) Lockard with 227 Financial Coaching join me in a fantastic discussion on how money impacts our relationships. Bill is a retired Army Officer that experienced the stress of debt in his own life. In this interview he shares his story of how he and his wife changed their perspective on money which set them up for success in their future. As the head coach of 227 Financial Coaching, his passion now is to bring that hope to other families. Listen now to my interview with Bill Lockard as he shares wisdom on financial topics that trip up many couples including: What do I do if my spouse doesn't want to change money habits? How can I get through a PCS (relocation) without going further into debt? How can I plan for retirement/transitioning out of the military? How can young families start now to make wise financial decisions? More on Bill Lockard and 227 Financial Coaching: Bill Lockard is a retired Lieutenant Colonel who served in the Army on active duty for 21 years. He fought in Operation Desert Storm and commanded a howitzer battery while deployed to Bosnia. He deployed to Baghdad as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom and several times to Kuwait and Egypt. He holds master degrees in Public Administration and Managerial Science. After retiring, Bill followed his passion to help military families by becoming a trained Financial Coach. He works one on one with service members and their families to pay off their debt and build wealth. Bill is the head coach at 227 Financial Coaching where he reminds people according to Proverbs 22:7 “The borrower is the slave to the lender”. Don’t be a slave! www.financial227support.com

The Village

Tue, 01 Mar 2016 08:00:00 -0600

One of my favorite things about the last year has been the number of spouses I have spoken with in every season of life. I have thoroughly enjoyed the multi-generational village we live in. It has been very interesting for me to also hear the concerns that each generation has about our community. There are values, opinions, and frustrations that each generation has about where our community has been, where it is now, and hopes for what it can be in the future. I can tell you that our oldest generation, those that are possibly in retirement, were part of a time when there was little to no support for spouses and their families. In response, this incredible generation built the much needed support they needed. Overtime, the military valued their efforts and backed it with the finances and programming that we now have today. On the contrary, the youngest generation has been raised on the convenience of the digital world where most of their connection is with those they have already established relationships from a distance. Our culture is going through a generational shift. Our roles are changing and some of us don’t even realize it. In this podcast, I talk about the benefits of our village and help you see just how valuable of a role you play.

Homeschool Spouse

Fri, 01 Jan 2016 08:00:00 -0600

Happy New Year! Lifegiver is back with an all new episode that is perfect for every parent. This week I interview Jennifer Hamrick- military spouse to an Army Chaplain, homeschool mom, and blogger. She may not say it herself, she is far too humble, but she is a mentor to so many on so many things "motherhood". I have sought her wisdom on many occasions and watched as she patiently disciplined her 4 boys all while homeschooling them all. With a degree in Early Childhood Education, she has been on both sides of the issue and can speak to all of us regardless of where our children get their education. In this candid talk, we discuss her journey in deciding to homeschool as well as how she has navigated balancing taking care of herself and marriage. She and I discuss the stigmas for both sides, including the assumption that homeschool students struggle with social skills as well as perceived judgement for those who don't homeschool. You will also find TONS of resources from Jennifer as she shares her best tried and true websites, curriculum, and books that have helped guide her and keep her successful (and sane) as a mom and teacher. More than anything, allow her humility and words encourage you. We can all learn from each other and find ways to speak life into each others’ situation. Jennifer's Blog: The Hamricks: A Mom, a Dad, and 4 boys Here are some of the resources Jennifer mentions: Managers of Their Homes : A Practical Guide to Daily Scheduling for Christian Homeschool Families (includes Scheduling Kit), by Steve & Teri Maxwell. Can you imagine how wonderful it would be to go to bed each night, with the peace of mind that you accomplished what you wanted to each day, such as a clean house, AND homeschooling? Our Cozy Den: http://ourcozyden.com The Adventures of 2 Stay-at-Home Parents and their 4 Crazy Kids Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA) http://hslda.org When two attorneys and homeschooling dads—Mike Farris and Mike Smith—founded Home School Legal Defense Association in March 1983, homeschooling was just a tiny blip on the educational radar screen. The age-old concept of parents teaching their children at home had fallen into obscurity. Families who chose such a “nontraditional” education route often encountered opposition, sometimes even legal challenges, from the educational bureaucracy as well as from their own friends and relatives. Seeing a need for affordable legal advocacy, the two Mikes joined forces to establish a nonprofit ministry to defend and advance the constitutional right of parents to direct the education of their children and to protect family freedoms. Homeschooling for the Rest of Us: How Your One-of-a-Kind Family Can Make Homeschooling and Real Life Work by Sonya Haskins Hello Mornings http://www.hellomornings.org Based on the free eBook, Maximize Your Mornings by Kat Lee, the HelloMornings challenge was birthed to encourage Christian women toward the life-giving habit of waking up FOR their lives instead of TO their lives. The first challenge formed back in August 2010 and has grown to a movement of thousands of women in countries around the world, with over 200 volunteer leaders. Our motto is “God.Plan.Move.” and we aim to empower women to spend time with God, plan their day and make healthy choices first thing in the morning. In just a few minutes each morning, we can attend to the most important aspects of our lives – our relationship with God, planning, and improving our health. The goal isn’t overnight transformation, but slow and steady progress toward life long habits that radically change the direction of our lives and allow us to thrive in whatever role God has given us. Time4Learning •Accelerate your child's learning through online self-paced study. •Save the time you spend on planning and reporting to focus on what's important. Having fun helping your child learn and grow. •Give your child the right tools to build his or her confidence and self esteem through a well rounded education. •Remove the stress from the homeschooling process, so you can spend more quality time with your child. Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons by Siegfried Engelmann

Reversing Roles

Sat, 19 Dec 2015 08:00:00 -0600

After a whirlwind trip to the Middle East with the Secretary of Defense, Matt and I sit down just three days after I returned to talk about what the project was like for both of us. Although I hoped to make a difference in spouses' understanding of their service members, I could not have anticipated how much Matt's voice would also have an impact. Of course, I think he is amazing, but his perspective on what it was like to stay home while I was away resonated for so many military spouses. Here in our Reintegration Video, we discuss our thoughts together and answer questions you submitted on what it was like to reverse roles.

Day 5: The Charles De Gaulle and USS Kearsarge

Fri, 18 Dec 2015 08:00:00 -0600

I had the most awesome day ever! I got to ride in a MH-53 Helicopter - like 4 times! I got to ride out to the Charles De Gaulle a French Aircraft Carrier Vessel in the Gulf. What’s funny is that the press that I was with was playfully arguing over whether it was the Persian Gulf or the Arabian, so we just agreed its best to call it the Gulf. The Charles De Gaulle was filled with mostly 2,000 French Navy and Marines which is significant in the current war on terror and our efforts to partner with our Allies. This trip was an opportunity for me to be part of history enfolding, watching policy and strategy in our Department of Defense. For the first time in history, the French have more than partnered, they have come up underneath the task forcing of America in order to complete the mission against ISIL. The Charles De Gaulle is part of the nightly air strikes on Syria and Iraq to push back ISIL. The french on board were so gracious and excited to greet us. They took us to their Officer Bar where we drank french coffee and marveled at the swanky bar. It was a beautiful ship in and out. I had the honor to speak with a French fighter pilot who is one of the service members helping us make a difference. We talked about how much he loves his job, the favorite part being his love of taking off on the aircraft carrier. He was also vulnerable about the pain of dropping bombs but that it is part of the mission. They were so excited to partner with America, that we had so much they could learn from. It was also a wonderful opportunity for me to see how international military families also have benefits and programming with help them with needs the family might have. The ship’s hangar was filled with French fighter aircraft and the Secretary made sure to thank them before we had to jump on the elevator, a huge platform that lifts you to the top deck. That was a fun ride, actually. We got on the helicopters and I was thankful for the crew chief of ours that once I told him who I was and what I was doing, took me under his wing. Everyone has been excited when they hear a spouse has come to see what things are like. They want to show me things, talk to me about what deployment is like and make sure I am where I need to be. True gentlemen and I know Matt appreciated their protective spirits. Honestly, though, most service members I have met- especially those who are married are like that. It’s built in them to be protective. I honestly was amazed at everything I saw today since it wasn’t my branch. The helicopters were smooth, fast, and I sat back and pictured them full of Marines going into a mission. I thought how I don’t think I would have wanted to be on the front line, maybe helicopters were the better way for me. But then I thought about how many of them take our service members past the front line into dangerous situations, and I pictured them sitting across from me as we flew over the water. I would go into danger if it meant bringing them home. Then it clicked why so many, when asked why they do it, say they want to take care of the one next to them. At the USS Kearsarg, another US aircraft carrier, we got to eat in the mess hall. It was a lot smaller than I thought. I was able to speak to two Marines there who were missing their wives and children for Christmas. Overall, talking to all the troops and seeing their eyes light up when they talk about what they love to do was the best. Like one General I spoke with at the end of the day said, “We are a volunteer force. People feel bad for us when we are deployed, but we get to do what we love.” That was a well made point. Here is my #PowerofMarriage for today: 1. Today, I was reminded of the power of purpose. We all need it and we all need the support of our spouse to do it. Whether it is being the best stay at home mom or working on our career, you were built for something and it usually is the thing that gets you most excited and ramped up when you get to do it. If your spouse doesn't have that light in their eyes, talk with them and find out why. You have incredible influence into speaking life giving hope and support in your spouse. Don't misuse that power by neglecting to use it. 2. Try to remember that the "long work days" that your deployed service member says is the reason that they cannot call really may be a long work day. On the ships I went on to, internet/computer time was limited to 30 min for some, leaving the phone the best option. This was the answer I got most often when I asked what spouses don't understand "They can't comprehend that we work sometimes all day." 3. Taking care of yourself is more important than what you get done at home. With Matt and I reversing roles this week, I have seen him tired- all because he wants to make the house perfect for me. I can see now, from this side- that what I really want is for him to take care of him- sleep, exercise, and doing things that make him happy. Helping with the house when I get there will be easy. I wish I would have listened and thought he meant it.

Day 4: Afghanistan, FOB Fenty

Thu, 17 Dec 2015 08:00:00 -0600

Today was emotional for me. Maybe it was the anticipation of knowing this day would resonate the most for me, maybe it was the jet lag. I only had 2.5 hours of sleep. There is a little bit of a lengthy backstory on why this was emotional and there is no way I can explain it all. If you read “The Outpost” by Jake Tapper, you would understand how Matt’s experience during that first deployment made this visit special. I think there is going to be a specific place (or couple of them) for a lot of military families where if it is meaningful to your spouse then it is meaningful to you. Today, FOB (Forward Operating Base) Fenty was the closest I could get to the story of 4th Brigade in 2009-2010, specifically our unit 3rd Squad 61st Cavalry. Fenty held one of the greatest commanders I’ve ever known, and that is from a family perspective. The Colonel (now General) Randy George led our troops through a very tough fighting season where we lost amazing soldiers killed in action. I assisted the senior wives in working with the Gold Star Widows back at home. While Matt wasn’t at Fenty very much, leadership that he will always hold in high esteem was. IMG 3350 copy When we first landed the E4-B in Bagram, I already felt emotional just to be in Afghanistan. We were only there long enough to switch planes. I took my own advice from yesterday and took some video of me transitioning. F-16s were racing down the runway as we walked. Service members on the tarmac were fully kitted up for extra security. I have never flown in a C-130 before and definitely not like we did today. It was screaming is all I can say. Rapid decent, sharp turns, and a fast landing. I can’t believe I haven’t been nervous once during this whole trip. With all the plane rides, landings, etc- I have felt very safe. window SecDef400We were only in the air 30 minutes. When we got off the plane, we did a quick photo with the Secretary and Mrs Carter for Military Spouse Magazine (hope it comes out- it was quick!). Then we were able to go to the USO there at Fenty where whey had Wi-fi. A forward operating base (in my spouse language) is kind of like the main base for the higher headquarters for troops that report back from other more remote places out there, especially in the mountains. You have a lot of remote places where our troops live where they have even less than what I saw in Erbil or here at Fenty. If you have ever seen the documentary Restrepo, this is the kind of area we are talking about. USOReginaI was surprised to see a USO there. I thought it was remote enough that it surprised me. Even more surprising was the sweet woman named Regina who is a USO worker who has lived out here for 5-6 years, just serving our troops. Can you believe that? I had no idea that we had USO workers embedded. I hugged her, teared up and said thank you for the service she provides. She has sacrificed a lot to do what she feels called to do. She brought me out to the memorial where I took a couple of pictures with my 4th ID shirt that Patty George (Gen George’s wife) made for us during the deployment. The troops there were amazing. They are with 10th Mountain Division, several of them scouts or advisors. Regina took me over to them so I could ask them some questions about their families. I think my 4th ID shirt broke the ice a little. When I asked if I could do something, one said, “You’re wearing a 4ID shirt, you can do whatever the hell you want to do.” When I asked what they wished spouses understood, they said that they feel that sometimes family doesn’t understand the sporadic schedule they have, how they can have hours one day to talk and other days can only send a text. Trying to explain what they are doing gets a little difficult too. Overall though, they said that things are better here at Fenty than they were even when we were there in 2009. Now they have stronger Wi-fi and have noticed that some of the younger soldiers stress more when the internet is “slow” when to them they may only be able to talk to his family three times in a deployment. Now he has a routine where he calls on the weekends. brave1 Brave2 One troop in particular told me this was is 6th deployment and that was hard on his wife. He took me to some of the buildings and showed me what a B-hut is. This was important to me because during a particular battle we had where we lost 8 soldiers they were living in a very remote location and had buildings like this, small shacks made of plywood and barbed wire underneath. Matt was right, it took some getting used to seeing everyone carrying their weapons, but I loved it. You don’t see soldiers carrying their weapons around on post, other than in ruck marches (at least that has been my experience). Most of the time they are using them on the firing ranges or the field away from family housing areas. When I went back in the USO, one soldier spent a considerable amount of time talking with me about how he and his wife have learned how to manage the emotions of deployment. For them, he said, they had learned to take advantage of the support system each of them had to vent so they weren’t venting on the phone. “Venting only makes me want to fix it, and I can’t. Neither can she fix mine” he shared. If they vent to others first, when they get on the phone they are able to then talk about everything else. Everyone seemed thrilled to see a spouse there. fentycallRegina said I could call Matt from the phones and I couldn’t resist. The guys there said it would be part of the experience for me. I knew I would be waking him up, but how many times did he call when he “could” and wake me up? I picked up the phone and dialed- I knew on his end it would read “Maryland” calling. “Chaplain Weathers”, he answered. “Guess where I am? I’m calling you from Fenty.” He woke up right away, kinda. I asked if he wanted me to let him sleep. “No, it is so good to hear your voice.” He put my son on the phone and I knew this was definitely a role reversal moment. The helicopters outside beat the air and I told I wished he could hear it. fentypress400Afterwards, the Secretary was doing a press conference with acting Afghan Defense Minister Masoom Stanekzai. Local Afghan journalists where attending as well. I will let you read up on some of the incredible press articles that came out from that conference to hear about policy, but to actually be present as one of our military leaders and one of theirs spoke together on their desired partnership to continue to build up the Afghan Army and listen with a translation ear piece was really cool. We walked to the hangar where the Secretary wanted to speak and thank the troops. Here are the tall cement walls that I also saw in Baghdad. The extra helicopters, state security, and troops guarding everything was to protect the Secretary. For some extra video, watch my Youtube video and you can get a better idea of what I saw today. Here are my #PowerofMarriage tips for the day: 1. It is a normal temptation for either spouse or service member to disconnect to do the mission. It can sometimes feel like there is little to talk about except the daily grind. I can see the monotony they live in. I can see how everything looks the same every day. Even their minimal Christmas decorations don’t make it really fell like Christmas. I believe most want to hear those details about your day when they have the time, but want understanding from you when they don’t. Do your best to stay connected. Find things to talk about. Schedule things to talk about or work on a book together so you can be growing together. 2. When your service member says they feel safe somewhere, believe them. I know it is hard when they say they are going to Afghanistan, Iraq, Turkey, or anywhere else close to the fight. But a couple of them told me that they not only feel safe in these places, they want their family to believe them. One yesterday in Erbil said he felt safer there than in Baltimore. Again, stay educated and try to relax unless you are told otherwise. 3. It says nothing bad about your marriage if you have someone you trust (not of the opposite sex) that you can vent to and not always take it to your spouse. When you have limited time on the phone, save it for more positive and productive conversations. Resolve conflict quickly. Deployment is a time to take care of yourself too. You won’t be able to help or fix problems your spouse is going through. You both need others to help you.

Day 3: Erbil, Iraq What We Should Know, But Don't

Wed, 16 Dec 2015 08:00:00 -0600

Today I got to fly into Erbil, Iraq and spend a lot of time getting to know what deployment is like with our female soldiers there. Seeing deployment living conditions for them was quite eye opening. Not that they were poor, in fact our service members are well taken care of, but there are so many things we are told that they try to describe to us that can’t convey it accurately. Honestly, it has been a challenge to figure out how I could convey them to you in a new way. There are some things that you can only understand when you see them, but there is still a lot to learn. For example, I remember begging Matt to send me photos of where he was living. I appreciated what he sent so I could visualize him sleeping and eating there. The problem with photos is that it is only within a frame. You don’t get a panoramic view of the scope of the land or layout. I have done my best to try to capture pictures of things that stood out to me and surprised me instead of things you may have already seen a lot. So Erbil’s living conditions are a more rough than I expected. Honestly though I didn’t have an expectation to begin with. I am embracing my overall ignorance of a lot of things. Being one military spouse in the Army community, I am continuously reminded with how much I don’t know. Our spouses and families need to be a whole lot more educated! It’s like we need a good history lesson and monthly briefing on what is happening in the world. I am more appreciative than ever of our press that come along on these trips that ask the right questions, think it through, and then form it all into words for our culture’s short attention span to absorb in 30 seconds or less. For heaven’s sake, we are training and sending our service members out to dealwith the evil in the world, we owe it to ourselves to learn about it. I’m especially glad my husband gave me a briefing on Syria a couple months ago, cause I still feel naive. That being said, I was honored to be grouped up with the Secretary’s wife Stephanie Carter and her staff to see a lot of how our soldiers live and spend their down time. We saw their barracks that were tents filled with bunked cots. I can’t imagine sleeping in tight quarters there for 9 months, even though they are nice. The cots were lower to the ground than I expected and you have to roll out of bottom bunk. Going off of yesterday’s conversation, the care package issue of family sending trinkets for their living space made complete sense now. They literally owned a bunk. One woman was thrilled to get a bathmat though where she could at least put her feet on carpet in the morning. When we walked in, it smelled like peppermint. Not because it was a female tent, though, but because it keeps mice away. Snakes are another issue for them getting into the tent. Showers and latrines were interesting with only a curtain separating them from the next stall. When I went to the restroom in the main building the wall didn’t go to the ceiling and I could hear the men on their side talking. The USO was a small tent with a TV getting a poor reception of the Today Show, a barber shop chair and Star Wars playing on another TV. It was filled with books and DVDs, understandably the most comfy place there. The mail room was a friendly as you would think it would be. A truly happy place with Christmas lights, goodies from care packages, and smiling faces when you walked in the door! The gym was also nicer than I thought, though walled with fun house mirrors that were not glass- just in case anyone might want to use broken glass for weapons. I was not expecting that. I honestly didn’t think they would have mirrors, but plastic warped mirrors at least made it look like a gym. Otherwise, gravel, gravel, gravel, gravel. I understand now the appreciation of carpet and bare feet. I saw service member trying to run on the gravel, several of the girls wth me who wore flats struggled slightly through the walk. Even in the room where I joined the press again where there was carpet, I thought about how no one was likely to ever take their boots and socks off and walk around. Hard cold floors, wood platforms, and gravel are about all you will see. Here are my #PowerofMarriage tips for today: 1. Service Members: if you are deployed- take videos (if possible) to give your family a better picture that is more accurate than a photograph. That may sound obvious with today’s technology, but families will only be able to picture exactly what they see. 2. I underestimated the power of “embracing the suck”. Often said by service members who have to live/exist in rough situations, embracing the suck is something that surely changes a person. Perhaps service members get a bad wrap for being cold or brash, not as compassionate when we might think the situation could use it. But the amount of grit and perseverance that is built in one’s character in situations like these can lead a family through the toughest of times. Lean on them during seasons of difficulty. Service members can typically lean on their spouse when an assessment check on the relationships in the home are needed. 3. You are serving and loving your spouse by knowing enough about the world’s events that effect his/her job. You may get weary of hearing what they do over an over, but it is part of a bigger puzzle and plays an important part in the system. Understand as much as you can what is happening in the world so that they don’t have to keep explaining it over and over again. (Sorry, hun) I’ll have more for you tomorrow! Stick around, you never know where I’ll end up next!

Day 2: Baghdad and Bizarro World

Tue, 15 Dec 2015 08:00:00 -0600

My husband Matt calls the experience of being in theater "Bizarro World." As I got off the C-17 into the dusty air of Baghdad, I was immediately in just that. It smelled like my husband when he first got home from deployment. (Sorry hun, but its true for all of you!) Granted we were forced to change our plans due to fog that limited helicopter take off. Still, so many things were notable. I hear from soldiers that coming home they are hit by the sensory overload of colors, carpet, and noises. Baghdad is crawling, at least today, with secret service or other security detail. Every door is guarded by at least 2 stern looking men. Outside the tall 10-15 ft cement walls provide weapons security as well as walling off sections that make large alleys to walk to and fro. Outside is nothing but gravel and the sounds of incoming and outgoing aircraft is constant. I can understand why it became Matt’s white noise when deployed, why he "goes to another place" when he hears a bird. Still, I noted that there were indeed, no colors. Much of this trip has included making sure that I am following the group of press so that I am where I'm supposed to be. Today as I was talking with the Secretary's staff, I somehow got separated from the press. Soon I found myself close to entering a meeting that I was not supposed to be part of. Once we all realized, I was grateful to be walked back to the press group by a friendly security guard/state security who basically looked like special forces in civilian clothes. It actually gave me a great chance to ask him about his assignment here. I think one of my favorite things about all of this is getting to see the branches working together. Seeing the Air Force, special forces, and today our Army doing what they do best. It seems that so many of us live within the community our service member serves in and become incredibly proud of our branch. Seeing them work together is a whole new perspective. We know they exist to work together like a machine, but seeing it happen is different. I have to admit that although we got grounded today, it was not a wash. Talking to the crew on the C-17 and those that work here is enlightening. When I asked what they felt family most misunderstands, they expressed the need to decompress after they come home. They said that doing what they do takes incredible mental and physical energy. Giving them a day to decompress and get their energy back will help so they can re-engage. As I look back, I asked Matt to engage again way too quickly. I asked him to make big decisions before he had recovered. I've always told couples to avoid big decisions during reintegration but I know now it's more than that. In fact, I think back to our reintegration that was so difficult and see that he needed time to rest and heal and I was ready to move quickly- that caused a lot of tension that could have been avoided. A little part of me is healed today because I look back on that experience with new eyes. Talking with troops right before Christmas helped me understand the care package issue. After eating in the DFAC and having tons of options and yet seeing them live minimally- they really don't have many needs. But that's the issue, the have all their basic needs (depending on where they are) and are living so minimally they agreed they don't let their minds stretch outside of that. So a "what would you like for Christmas" gets a "well I don't need anything." We decided on items you use up like toiletries, food, and snacks they can share. I know that sounds cheesy, but when you eat the same things everyday or have to order your favorites online- getting them from a loved one is great. Living in small spaces though makes it hard when you keep getting stuff that isn't disposable or used up. There is simply no room to put those kinds of things out. Here are my big take aways (listen to my journal for an expanded edition): 1. We need to appreciate other branches more, the puzzle fits beautifully together to complete the overall mission- which is fantastic to see! 2. Understand that your service member really may not "need" much during deployment, but they also may not know "what" they want. But that shouldn't mean we send random box fillers that they won't know where to put. Above all, a box from home that doesn't look like grey walls, gravel, and camouflage could be heaven filled with the right things. 3. Military Leaders: you may not be able to send a spouse over seas to paint a picture of what you do, but there are plenty of ways you can show them an accurate picture. Bus them to the field for a couple of hours, tell them (educate them) on the actual mission. Family days, even if it is just your leaders can reduce anxiety and give them a cause to get behind. Some of those may sound simple, but I am trying to take into account the things that are really simple to do that we don’t realize are quite big in understanding your service member. When it was time to fly back, the flight crew of the C-17 brought me up into the cockpit and explained the brevity of this kind of mission involving a VIP. The coordination is incredible. We talked about their families and how much they are excited to be home for Christmas this year. I looked out the cockpit window to see the night sky and the lights of Saudi Arabia in the distance. The handed me night vision goggles (NVGs) and I could see every cloud like it was day and ships on the water. I asked what is the most beautiful thing they see out the window that they look forward to. “Home.”

Military Spouse Journey Day 1

Mon, 14 Dec 2015 08:00:00 -0600

Hello Air Force! My first day started off with the bright lights of day when it should have been 2am. I got about 4 hours of sleep thanks to the “sleepy pills” the on-plane physician handed out. I am your normal everyday military spouse who happens to be a clinician, but I am going to do my best to share with you what I experienced today. My hope is that I can take this experience and translate it in a way that coffee will encourage you to invest in your marriage. We landed at INCIRLIK Air Base in Turkey which conducts many of the airstrike missions in Syria. US Families (mostly Air Force) are stationed here much like any other OCONUS assignment but because of the rising tensions in and around Turkey and its border with Syria, families have been placed on lockdown and cannot leave base. Many of the families that were here before the lockdown remember what it is like to travel into the city, which makes it even harder. I imagined that many of them feel isolated and trapped. Can you imagine some of the new spouses getting an assignment to Turkey and then finding out they can’t leave the base once here? While here, there was a town hall for military families where they could ask Secretary Carter questions. Most of the questions were on the lockdown, how long it would continue, and would there be an upcoming forced evacuation. Secretary Carter was very encouraging that he did not foresee a forced evacuation and hoped that things would improve. My mission here is to understand what it is like for our service members. Seeing our Air Force in full force was intimidating, in a good way. They are putting in long hours both on the ground and in the air. Many of the spouses here described how much better they understand deployments now that they are watching “at home deployments” play out in front of them. Their service member is tired but determined to complete the incredible mission given them. The threat of ISIS is very real. It already feels real to us there in America, but here our military families can’t even leave base to go into town. The importance of building allies and coalition partners is necessary and our leaders are working hard to do it. It was incredible to see Airmen from Germany, Spain, and Turkey all joining our personnel for the same cause. Some of the coalition airmen stood up to thank our US airmen for their hospitality and how proud they were to be fighting ISIS with us. Turkey was warm for December. Not as hot as it would be in the summer, but the families there are enjoying 70 degree weather. Seeing the city in the distance made me wonder how safe some of the families are out there. One spouse here is Turkish and cannot get off base to see her mother. I can’t imagine who scary that is! Since I am an Army spouse, I have to give a shout out to the incredible power we have in our aircraft. I saw every plane you can imagine lined up, many of them loaded with the bombs that are ready for the next mission. As my heart rumbled in my chest as the fighter jets took off, I couldn’t help but be thankful for what they do and the amount of skill and precision they develop to do it. I totally get it Air Force Spouses- it is pretty incredible to witness. From the moment I stepped on this historic plane, refueling in air, and then visiting Incirlik, I am so proud of our Air Force. My father was a pilot in the Air Force and I feel like I am seeing him in his jumpsuit around every corner. Today’s #PowerofMarriage message is this: 1. The mission our service members are called to do is not only real, but more important than ever. It is a noble cause whether it is to protect our lives or someone else’s. Keeping their mind on the mission is paramount to success in that moment. As hard as it is to let them go and not heap unnecessary stress on them- it is the right thing to do. This doesn’t mean that we don’t communicate. On the contrary, it means that we learn to communicate better, quicker, identifying the root issue so that it can be resolved or processed. Striving not for perfection, but for peace, is not only good for us, but beneficial for them. 2. Our military tempo is very different than it used to be. Deployments aren’t going away, if anything we are adding a new component that keep hearing about from spouses. It is the deployment from home- the long work hours that feel like a deployment. I’m not sure, perhaps some of you would say one is easier than the other. Both are stressful on the relationship. Be intentional with your time together. Decide together how and when you will decompress by setting a specific time and time limit.

Our Story: Bonus Episode

Fri, 30 Oct 2015 09:00:00 -0500

Matt and I fell in love at Gardner-Webb University. This fall, we had the opportunity to go back and speak with students who are just starting out like we were. With our intention to ease anxiety for students who are still unsure of God's calling on their life, we encouraged them to be diligent with what God has already asked them to do- today. In this interview, Gardner-Webb's radio show asks about our start in working with military families and why we love what we do. More than anything, we feel a calling to heal brokenness in others individually and together. I am thrilled to share with you my husband Matthew and his love for me and others. I hope it encourages your marriage and inspires you in your own calling. This is the beginning of #PowerofMarriage.

The Secret of Resilience

Mon, 10 Aug 2015 07:00:00 -0500

I have had many opportunities to address the “resilience” of military families. Like many of you, I don’t relate to this word. In fact, I don’t want to even say it anymore. I don’t feel like I “bounce back” from things. Often, I feel like I evolve more than anything else. In today’s episode, I walk you through my last few months of Jackson Pollock "manic" research on what do military couples really need to get through difficulty. Get ready to put your thinking caps on as I help you understand why we feel like we are knocked down to the ground after minor obstacles. This content is fantastic for understanding how to help you walk your children through stress, but more importantly how to understand what is going within YOU. Secondly, I am thrilled to share with you why marriage is the answer for how we can become more resil…. I mean healthy…. You will hear me reference Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I hope you enjoy it, and if you do- please share it with your friends. I'm all about saving marriages, so I hope you will join me!

Finding My Voice

Sun, 09 Aug 2015 09:00:00 -0500

If you haven't caught on, there is a pattern developing here! From now until January, Lifegiver will have a new episode every payday which means two a month! I will be bringing you tips and topics from me during one and the other episode will be an interview with an inspirational military spouse. This week is no exception! Erin Whitehead has achieved what many spouses dream of achieving. She is a Marine spouse who loves her husband dearly and followed him everywhere the Military sent him. In this episode, she shares what it was like right after 9/11 to be a military family. As a counselor, I know the power that journaling and writing can have during difficult times. Erin describes how writing helped her get through several deployments, each unique in their difficulty. She also opens up about how military spouse community surrounded her and helped her through loss and moving forward. Seeing the power of finding her own words, she created Many Kind Regards, a blog-writing and coaching business that has helped hundreds of writers including military spouses find their voice on paper- if not the computer screen. "Our goal is to help writers create meaningful, effective content that engages an online audience. " Erin WhiteheadFollowing her dreams didn't end there. Her volunteer work earned her the 2010 Armed Forces Insurance Marine Spouse of the Year and a spot on The American Military Spouse Choir that performed on Season 8’s America's Got Talent. I encourage you to take a moment and watch their performance here. In this candid interview, listen to Erin's story of how she got through difficult times separated from her husband, the power of the military spouse community, and the wisdom she has to share as her husband is about to retire. You wont want to miss this one.

Finding my Stride

Sat, 08 Aug 2015 09:00:00 -0500

In this episode, I interview Lena Steiner. I met TeamSteiner in Colorado during one of the most significant seasons of my life. That deployment changed a lot of us, including my own husband. But it was the support of Corey and Lena Stenier that carried an entire squadron through dark days. TeamSteiner served military families by Corey taking on the heavy responsibility of the Rear Detachment Commander- staying behind while the rest of the Squadron deployed and Lena supporting him and becoming a leader herself. Lena talkes about how losing friends in war has affected her marriage and her process of embracing the military lifestyle. lenafamily When it comes to leadership, Lena describes the impact on marraiges when leadership considers families as priority. Key spouse leaders changed her life by their willingness to create community and introducing her to running. She is now qualified to run the Boston Marathon and has trained even through her current second pregnancy! I have always admired Lena for her compassion for people, but also her fierce approach at life that earned my nickname for her "The Beast". Here is a picture of pregnant Lena smoking me on a 5 mile run.

What is a Lifegiver?

Fri, 07 Aug 2015 09:00:00 -0500

You would think that this would be easy for me as I have been using the term "lifegiver" for years to describe the kind of person I want to become. Yet when it came time to work on this episode, not only did I have a loss for words- I also went through a challenging week that completely changed my perspective. The military has a way of taking everything you put nicely in an organized box in your mind and then dumping it out and walking on it. Or maybe that's just me... I have a feeling you have been there, too. I admit that I am not especially strong at adapting to change quickly which you can imagine makes being a military wife tough. Yet, in that moment, I thought about all of you. I was reminded of how much grit it takes to be a military spouse, regardless of branch or circumstance. Some days are easy, others can feel excruciating- yet we find a way to push through and find a silver-lining. In this episode, I describe what a Lifegiver is and the three things that I have found in common with every Lifegiver I have ever met. If we want to make a difference in our home and in the world, these are three things we MUST do. I hope it challenges and encourages you to work towards your purpose and potential. She must know her current passion and calling. What is it you love to do? What fires you up and makes you angry with the world? A Lifegiver must define or begin to define what she is currently passionate about and then be working towards her future purpose. What can you do right now to keep growing despite where the military sends you or whether it takes your spouse away? Creativity is crucial, knowing your purpose will help provide the hope as your place, the people, and seasons change. Secret: Our calling is rarely tied to things like your business, your crafts, or your ideas. The most fulfilling calling will always involve people who need the lifegiving hope our wisdom carries. Here is a short talk from Brene Brown on understanding the power of empathy. A Lifegiver must be able to protect her calling. Protection involves both offense and defense. You must first be able to know how to take care of yourself. Each of you likely know what state you are in and what you are “needing to do” or being asked to do to take care of yourself- so do something today that moves you in that direction- at least one thing. But a Lifegiver must also work in Defense. Once you know your calling, it is much easier to say no to the energy wasters be it tasks or people that suck the life out of you. Knowing your calling gives you the words you need to say no to other things. My challenge to you is to make a mission statement if you haven’t already. A Lifegiver must give her marriage and family her first fruits. As much as I hate hearing the phrase often used by the military to “put your household in order”, there is much truth in that no person can be mission ready if those she is responsible for are neglected, in conflict, or in trouble. The place where you have the most impact and influence is at home. Think of it this way. What you may have to offer someone else, multiplies when you invest in it at home. What someone else might walk away saying, “Gee that was nice of her” gets a “That was exactly what I needed in my life today” from our husband or children. Our calling is something that is a life journey, we will often need to take sabbaticals to give our first fruits to those that mean the most to us. This does not mean you lose your calling, but if you don’t take care of your first responsibility, you CAN lose your family. Bring life to the garden in your own backyard before starting a greenhouse business. Here is a great TedTalk by Benjamin Zander on how to define whether you know you are making a difference. He is a Classical Musician and uses music to make an incredible point.

Parent Fail

Thu, 06 Aug 2015 07:00:00 -0500

It is one thing to go through the constant change in my life, it’s another thing entirely to watch my kids struggle. I feel responsible for their well-being, but how do you know when your kids are really struggling with the constant transition of moving, making friends, and leaving friends? Kids and adults feel stress in similar ways, but sometimes their expression of it may look different. This is a season of transition for #TeamWeathers. We spent a year and half in Georgia and will only spend 6 months here in South Carolina. Knowing this, I saw my youngest begin to struggle. When school started, he picked up a cold that kept him home for a few days. When I noticed his cold was not getting worse and he was avoiding school I felt in my gut that something was off. Mixed with frustration and selfishness (to be transparent) I needed to figure out what my child was feeling but could not express. In this episode, I walk you through my own experience of working with my son. The heartbreak of hearing his stress and the battle of guilt I had to walk through myself. I will give you some tips on behaviors to look for in your children if they are trying to tell you they need help as well as what you can do to help them. Even more, I will address the internal struggle moms go through when we sometimes get it wrong. - Here is a little bit of what I cover: - Hidden Clues to look for when your child is struggling - Why we can’t read their minds- no matter how hard we try - How kids control their world when it feels out of control - How to not spiral into guilt and shame when you miss the clues you child is giving you Special thanks to Kelly Keesecker and her son Carter for the incredible “Shout Out” thanking an important friend who supported them during transitions. This one is definitely worth listening to and sharing with other moms you know. Let’s all be honest… Parenting is hard and you will never get it right every time. But we can all begin to be pick up some tips and be graceful with ourselves. Most of the time (if we allow it) imperfection leads to breathing hope into someone else’s life. Hopefully this will inspire you to do this in your child’s life.

Cyberbullying

Wed, 05 Aug 2015 09:00:00 -0500

Cyber-bullying has become a trending issue in the Military Spouse world. That may come as a shock to some of you, but it is not just happening to our kids. This podcast will talk about the growing issue in the military culture and what you can do about it. Everyday, social media tempts to bring out the worst in us. What will you do? In essense we must learn to that we have no control over other people, but we DO have great influence. Learning to control yourself is a big enough challenge. Learn what you can do to address cyber-bullying in our military spouse culture or as a parent. Included are great tips that can be shared with your children and teens as they enter the digital world. For fun, we take a few minutes to talk about why I believe every military spouse should be a fan of Wonder Woman, and it's not just because of her awesome fashion sense.

Bonus- Depression & the Bible

Mon, 03 Aug 2015 09:00:00 -0500

This is not a new podcast, but a talk I gave in 2010 to New Life Church, Colorado Springs, CO. Many people have requested access to it, so it has been included into the Lifegiver Series. Here I address how you can manage chronic depression as well as how your faith and relationship with God plays a role in our mood. Depression look svery different for each person it effects. From a bad day, to Post-Partum, to grief, and Chronic Depression- there are so many kinds and levels. There can be hope, though. And God does not intend for us to walk that road alone. This talk is full of scripture and doesn't discourage the use of medication either. I hope it will bring hope to those who struggle with it personally as well as the caretakers of family members who fight it everyday.

Corie talks to Christian Radio

Sun, 02 Aug 2015 09:00:00 -0500

Corie sits down and talks with 88.3 FM Family Radio on what it means to serve the military as a ministry team as well as her recent 2015 AFI Military Spouse of the Year Award.

Lifegiver Episode 1

Sat, 01 Aug 2015 09:00:00 -0500

Corie Weathers, LPC and AFI 2015 Military Spouse of the Year shares a little bit about her own story as a military spouse and her vision to make Lifegiver Military Spouse Podcast as a place for other military families to be encouraged. Information on how you can send in your shout out is available and you get to hear the first inspirational shout outs to Lifegiver!