Reflecting on my self-defense journey and my yoga training, I explain why self-defense goes far beyond physical confrontation to include all the ways we honor and protect ourselves.

We have an abundance of tools available to us: our awareness, our intuition, the wisdom of our emotions, our voice, our community, and beyond. And, when we tap into all of these self-defense powers, it strengths our ability to avoid and/or resist violence when we need to.

Honoring the breath and depth of self-defense practices available to us, I celebrate that there is no “one right way” to practice self-defense. And one practice can beautifully complement and amplify another.

My invitation is to create the self-defense practice that meets your needs where you are right now and give space for it to evolve. Through this conversation, I offer specific examples for what that could look like.

If you’ve been told that self-defense is all about punches, groin kicks, and eye pokes or if you’ve never felt like self-defense is “for you,” then this episode is for you.

Want to stay connected and learn more about how you too can incorporate empowerment and self care into your daily life?

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If you’re curious about self-defense but have always felt intimidated, this episode is for you. 

After I was sexually assaulted in high school, it took me more than fifteen years to find the courage to take a self-defense class.  

In this podcast episode, I share the roots of my resistance to self-defense training: denial about my past experiences, fears about physical confrontation, and anxiety about the psychological side of fighting back. I recall the misguided and confusing advice I received out of context and the advice that finally convinced me to move through my fear and reclaim my power. 

Listen to learn more about the practices that helped me experience a level of peace I hadn’t experienced in a very, very long time. 

Episode Chapters 

00:49 — The beginning: a father's advice and the first seeds of self-defense  A movie night at 12 years old, a wrestler dad, and words that stayed with Carolyn for decades — even when she didn't fully understand them yet. 

02:21 — The assault that changed everything — and the 15 years of silence that followed  At 16, Carolyn's math SAT tutor violated her boundaries. She froze. She pleased. And then life moved on — until it couldn't anymore. 

09:46 — The Drew Barrymore moment that finally broke it open  Rewatching Ever After during COVID, Carolyn saw a character wield her voice and her body with fierce, unapologetic power — and decided it was time. 

12:17 — Walking into the fighters gym for the very first time  Turquoise yoga pants. Pink pedicure. Hand wraps she didn't know how to use. And a dark parking lot afterward where she finally felt peace. 

21:37 — The statistic that redefines everything: 90% of self-defense is not physical  During her RAD instructor certification, Carolyn learned that the vast majority of self-defense is risk awareness, risk reduction, and risk avoidance — which means the practice starts long before you ever step into a gym. 

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In Our Powers is hosted by Carolyn Fallert, a writer and trauma-informed feminist self-defense coach based in Pittsburgh.