Autistic Licence

S3E6: Speaking Up As An Autistic Person, Is It Even A Choice?

Sat, 10 Jan 2026 16:24:01 +0000

Content warning: weight and body related issues, death and mortality, brief mention of suicidal ideation

This episode begins with an exploration of the impact on Siana of seeing Ariana Grande's weight loss in the Wicked For Good movie, and on Leo of hearing this in the context of his own past experiences of judgment in relation to his weight.

We openly discuss and disentangle many strands within our dialogue, recognising distinctions and differences which relate specifically to being autistic and therapists.

We explore motivation and empathy overload. We also notice the evolution of some of our intervention actions over time, while still recognising that at a basic level we still experience the same instincts and drives in relation to social justice, human dignity and communicating care to others.

We touch on whether true altruism exists, especially when we have so many of our own experiences of others looking the other way when we've needed support. We believe we are representing many within our community in acknowledging this.

Claude AI tells us that this conversation reveals why autistic therapists might be a particularly valuable species (we'll take that!) and why that same sensitivity makes navigating the world exhausting. This isn't an easy conversation to reflect on and to release and we hope it resonates with some of you. We would love to hear any comments or feedback at autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡

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LINKS

Odd One In groups

Autistic Licence newsletter

Our LinkedIn group for listeners

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S3E5: Christmas Presence

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 20:49:02 +0000

This short episode was recorded a few days ago at Leo's house in Suffolk when Siana came for a pre-xmas visit.

We mostly chat about managing gift-giving and surprises as autistic people.

Pics on our pictures page of the wonderful illuminated garden trail we visited.

Thank you for listening and for all the ways you connect with us - we love to hear from you - contact us at:
autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡

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LINKS

Helmingham Hall

Our light trail photos

Odd One In groups

Autistic Licence newsletter

Our LinkedIn group for listeners

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S3E4: What Success Means To Us

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 11:22:29 +0000

Leo reflects on watching a Netflix show which brought up a myriad of thoughts and feelings for him around not being understood by loved ones (the double empathy problem). Siana shares some current challenges with work and business planning.

We speak about success and what that means to us as autistic people and specifically as autistic therapists. We relate this also particularly to this time (in the midst of a polycrisis) when arguably people have never been so disconnected and in need of support.

We come to a place of greater acceptance and wider perspective, whilst also acknowledging the pain and disappointment that comes with this.

As ever, we are available and keen to hear from you with any comments, reflections or feedback. Contact us at:
autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡

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LINKS

You Can't Ask That - TV show

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S3E3: The Luck Illusion - Nothing Just Happens Revisited

Thu, 11 Dec 2025 16:09:18 +0000

In this episode we speak about "landing on our feet". In particular, we relate this to the double empathy problem whereby the processes "behind the scenes" are often missed entirely in our interactions with non-autistic people.

We share examples of our experiences in the workplace and significant relationships, noting that in some aspects our ways of being can seem to collude with the apparent opacity of the bigger picture. As Siana says, "We prioritise getting shit done rather than going on about how difficult it is!"

In this context we are not referring to the often variable amounts of things we get done or the speed or efficiency of this - that's a whole other issue! Instead we are pointing out that we tend to focus what energy we have on tasks rather than ensuring others understand how hard it is.

Although we name feeling uncomfortable with it, we also experiment with taking our capabilities and resourcefulness more seriously by not underplaying our contributions. This is new and the reason we haven't edited it out is an experiment in daring to let it hit the air and stay there! Which feels like a courageous act of resistance when you've spent a lifetime playing yourself down. We believe a version of this might resonate with a great many of our neurokin.

As ever, we are available and keen to hear from you with any comments, reflections or feedback. Contact us at:

autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡
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Book: The Luck Factor

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S3E2: From The Vault - Nothing Just Happens

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 20:01:41 +0000

Welcome to the first "From The Vault" episode. Today we're going almost back to the beginning. We're going to listen to Season 1 Episode 2, which we called "Nothing Just Happens", from two years ago.

Listening back to this not only brought back memories of the beginnings of Autistic Licence, but also sparked a conversation between Siana & I about what's changed for us, and what's been reinforced.

You'll hear that conversation in our next episode - "The Luck Illusion - Nothing Just Happens Revisited" which we'll release later this week. 🧡💛

Siana goes to a Deacon Blue concert and talks about stimulation and over-stimulation. We compare notes on what that feels like and what we do to recover.

This sparks on ongoing conversation about how autistic people spend and recoup energy and why this may be different to the experiences of others, and why processes around managing tasks and time can be such dominant features of our lives.

We talk about how "nothing just happens" in our lives. Why "it depends" and "good enough" are such important concepts to us as autistic people.

An interruption by Leo's dogs Molly & Woody provides a wonderful illustration of distraction and how this effects AuDHD communication and thought!

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LINKS

Deacon Blue

Spoon Theory

An article on demand avoidance

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S3E1: A Matter Of Time

Thu, 13 Nov 2025 20:51:41 +0000

Welcome to Season 3 💛

We recorded this a couple of weeks ago. We thought about cutting the bit at the beginning where we speak about Halloween in the interests of "keeping up" with the actual date of release. However, given that the rest of the episode traverses the general theme of our relationship with time, we thought we'd leave it in for context.

We speak about overwhelm and the processes we can go through around "getting things done". Leo introduces some theories around prioritising and task management which can be useful when we find ourselves feeling paralysed with task lists. Siana shares about the cyclical nature of her creative capacity to initiate new projects.

We also discuss the significance of "now" as a portal to memory and to the past ... and of the nature of our processing meaning that this circles around in very non-linear ways.

We're excited to be back for a new season and we look forward to connecting with you - all comments and feedback welcome at autisticlicence@gmail.com 🧡💛

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LINKS

Odd One In group information

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2E30: Staying Out For The Summer - a 1995 throwback chat

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 19:20:50 +0100

Trigger warning for Christian evangelical culture, mention of suicidal ideation. If you have particular sensitivities around these subjects, please consider carefully whether and / or when you might listen to this episode.

This episode was recorded while Siana was visiting Leo in his new house in August.

Most of the conversation ended up being a trip down memory lane, to 1995, with the usual tangents and some niche cultural reference points.

We speak about autonomy and independence, taking into account autistic needs and challenges. Themes such as the significance of justice, burnout and the toll of masking emerge through our discussion.

The conversation finishes with a discussion about autistic needs verses wants, within the context of balancing ethical values with the limits of managing daily life and overwhelm as an autistic person.

Thank you to our lovely listeners for all your support - we love to hear from you with comments, feedback and reflections:

autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡
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Odd One In group information

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E29: AuDHD Economy Of Energy

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 17:07:43 +0100

This episode was recorded just a couple of days after Leo moved house from London to Suffolk, England.

Leo highlights the benefits Leo of his ADHD meds in terms of maintaining focus and maximising efficiency during the move.

We note wider factors and accommodations which help in managing setbacks and unexpected changes.

We candidly speak about the challenges and limitations of being AuDHD - medicated or not - in western society.

We pivot into an exploration of sleep, tiredness and the quite particular economy of energy we seem to share with our neurokin.

Siana reflects on recent experience around neglecting special interests and how rapidly this led to exhaustion and struggle with getting things done.

We reappraise again the value of detailed-focussed externalising, which while seemingly inconsequential, offers significant value and settling to us as autistic people.

Any thoughts or comments to autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡
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Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E28: Transitions & The Value Of "Things"

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 15:03:37 +0100

This episode, on listening back, sounds a bit like a whistle stop tour of everything both of us has ever thought about our relationships with things and particularly about "moving" with them.

We speak about moving house and / or office and the significance of replication and familiarity in our new environments. We noted how this can extend to holidays and even simply leaving the house.

We differentiate between different types of attachments we have to things, from the sentimental to the practical, even to the existential. As we explore further we begin to notice some distinctive ways in which we relate to things as autistic people.

The relationship / attachment autistic people have with inanimate objects has often been misunderstood, dismissed and even pathologised by non-autistic onlookers. We would love to hear from you if our chat resonates with you or if you have further thoughts or comments - autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡

LINKS

Picture of Siana's buttons

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E27: An Autistic Guide to Celebrating Milestones (in detail)

Sat, 19 Jul 2025 20:03:32 +0100

This episode is mostly a light hearted autistic chit chat.

Siana's daughter has finished her GCSEs (national exams taken by 16 year olds in the UK). To celebrate, they have planned a trip to Scotland to see Lana del Rey in concert.

Meanwhile, Leo's parents' 80th birthdays are coming up over the summer. He shares the birthday card and watch he created for his Dad.

In true autistic style we manage to explore all of this in minute detail, also touching on themes such as parenting an ND teen and hyperfocus alongside ADHD.

As ever we'd love to hear from you with any comments, reflections or feedback at autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡

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LINKS

Watchmaking second-hand tool

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E26: A Hot Take On A Hornet

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 16:40:30 +0100

Leo is planning a move to Suffolk, England. This conversation took place when we visited the area as part of his decision making process.

We speak about a delightful and symbolic experience we had while we were there.

We then explore the value of "story" within therapy, the significance of re-contextualisation, and even the potential of deeper memory reconsolidation and healing processes.

Our next discussion traverses echolalia, accents and imperial powers ... moving into culture, heritage, history and gender differences. We then segueway into disturbing political developments affecting our neurokin in the US.

Quite a trip! Thank you so much for your ongoing company with us as we chat, connect and explore. We always value your comments and feedback on autisticlicence@gmail.com

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LINKS

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E25: Meaghan Ray, Part Two: Executive Functioning, Autistic Parenting & Chainmaille

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 15:01:24 +0100

Welcome to the second half of our conversation with Meaghan Ray.

This one begins with us speaking about the interplay between autism and ADHD, particularly in terms of executive functioning.

Meaghan Ray shares some specific areas of executive functioning which pose challenges for them in relation to parenting. Siana and Meaghan Ray discuss some of their experiences as parents, noting the widespread lack of support for autistic parents caring for autistic children (regardless of whether either parent or child are identified as autistic). We also talk about navigating different sensory profiles with the family.

Finally, Meaghan Ray delights us with their chainmaille and through this illustrates their metaphorical understanding of the melding and integration of the strands of their identity. Video in the shownotes!

Thank-you for joining us for this episode and please do get in touch if you have any comments or feedback you would like to share - autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡

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LINKS

CHAINMAILLE VIDEO CLIP

ACCOMPANYING PHOTO'S

Meaghan Ray's chest binding support page

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E24: Meaghan Ray, Part One: One Identity At A Time

Sat, 14 Jun 2025 12:42:15 +0100

We're joined for this episode by Meaghan Ray from Edmonton in Canada.

Meaghan Ray speaks about their process of coming to know their autistic self. They share the value within this of real time processing with a friend, particularly as it relates to the "doing" of being autistic in daily adult life.

Meaghan Ray shares some unique aspects of their childhood which led to the development of self awareness and self efficacy from a young age. They reflect on having found their place within the queer community as a non binary person and how the learning from this has mapped onto their autistic journey also.

We speak about masking and in particular about the repression of stimming as a specific area Meaghan Ray has been working on unlearning as an adult.

Meaghan Ray also shares some parenting wisdom with us and we return to the topic of stimming, pivoting into a wider conversation about autistic enjoyment and immersion. 💛🧡

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LINKS

Meaghan Ray's chest binding support page

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2E23: Nikita - Autistic Professional Identity

Mon, 19 May 2025 21:55:34 +0100

We are delighted to share with you our guest conversation with Nikita. Nikita is a trainee clinical psychologist with a special interest in neuropsychology.

Together we have a fascinating discussion about adult diagnosis and how Nikita has woven this into her self-understanding and relationships. She contrasts how this has been in her personal and in her professional life.

We also speak about dyscalculia and burnout. Oh, and joy and the future. 💛🧡

If you are interested in joining a group, book a chat with us:
CLICK HERE.

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LINKS

Nikita's book - An Autistic Anthology: Neuro-Narratives of Mental Health Professionals

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2E22: Dawn - Joining The Dots & Making Connections

Sat, 03 May 2025 11:59:59 +0100

Join us for another wonderful guest conversation, this time with Dawn.

Dawn generously shares with us about her experiences and challenges in relation to work, mental health and being different to others.

We talk about the generational grief and loss associated with late diagnosis. We speak about common expectations around socialising, learning and communication which can zap our energy and lead to struggle. We go on to envision some aspects of autistic community, representation and culture.

We have deliberately not edited out the beginning and ending of our recording in case anyone is considering joining us for a conversation as this might help demystify the process.

As ever, we welcome your comments and feedback at autisticlicence@gmail.com

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LINKS

Dawn's Making Mental Health Positive Facebook page

Dawn's Making Mental Health Positive Instagram page

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E21: A Time Of Transition

Sat, 05 Apr 2025 13:02:54 +0100

There's a bit of silliness at the beginning of this episode. We debated cutting it out, maybe due to the vestiges of internalised ableism but we decided to keep it in the interests of authenticity.

It's fully possible to be "silly" and childlike right alongside having the capacity for psychological depth and vulnerable conversations.

We move from "here and now" chat into speaking about tears and other emotional expressions such as anger, fear, joy and sadness. We also reflect on the possibility of heightened emotional affect related to times of seasonal transition.

We invite further conversation and connection about the possibility of forming groups for autistic people. If you would like to discuss this or if you have any other comments or feedback to share we'd love to hear from you - autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡

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LINKS

Circles with Siana

Disability Empowerment Now podcast

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E20: How Disappointing...

Fri, 28 Mar 2025 17:04:11 +0000

Trigger warning: This episode includes references to neglect and developmental trauma which some listeners may find upsetting.

It's been a while since we recorded together!

In this episode we expand on our discussion about grief. Leo reflects on the loss of Woody, three months on. We then move into exploring other feelings such as disappointment and pride. We speak about the conditional meanings of these feelings in relation to other people.

We contrast this with the idea of unconditional love and acceptance and wonder about how this might feel and the significance of it, particularly in light of being autistic.

Molly has been at the vet's and joins us for the last 10 minutes. 🐕

We welcome your comments and feedback as always; get in touch at autisticlicence@gmail.com 💛🧡

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LINKS

Book: On Being An Autistic Therapist

Nici Harrison - The Grief Space

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E19: Woody

Fri, 21 Mar 2025 17:24:27 +0000

Trigger warning for mention of death, loss and grief. If you have particular sensitivities around these subjects, please consider carefully whether and / or when you might listen to this episode.

Leo's dog, Woody, died just before Christmas.

This episode was recorded in December and the "previous" episode we mention at the beginning was "Furry Friends & Existentialism".

We speak about our experiences of bereavement and grief. We talk about navigating the end of life and expand this to speak about other endings, planned and otherwise.

Leo shares some treasured memories of his unique connection with Woody. We wonder about specific aspects of grief from (our) Autistic perspectives, bringing in differences in attunement, attachment and communication.

Your comments and feedback are always most welcome.

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LINKS

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E18: Neuroqueering Self Care & Identity Markers

Wed, 12 Mar 2025 16:41:02 +0000

This is a short chat we had following our guest conversation with Elisabeth.

In it we further develop our thoughts and reflections about self compassion. We also contemplate our identities within the queer community, recognising that we have much more personal "work" to do in this area.

Obviously it's vulnerable to put something like this out into the world ... however we do so for two reasons. Firstly, we want to honour how inspirational we found our conversation with Elisabeth and secondly, we wonder whether other people might be thinking in similar ways and feel less alone by hearing us.

Your comments and feedback are always most welcome. 💛🧡

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LINKS

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E17: Elisabeth - A Lived Experience Of Difference

Sun, 09 Mar 2025 17:21:43 +0000

We have a treat for you today - our guest conversation with Elisabeth. 💛🧡

Elisabeth shares her story generously and insightfully. We speak about late diagnosis and the idea of a second adolescence. We contrast medicalised perspectives with the neurodiversity paradigm, for example in navigating group contexts.

We explore the intersectionality of queer and neurodivergent communities. We also discuss "coming out" and parallels between the neurodiversity movement and the LGBTQIA+ movement in the 80s and 90s. We speak of difference, stigma and making sense of our lived experiences in an ever changing landscape.

We end with discussing the significance of justice for us, on a micro and a macro scale.

We loved engaging with Elisabeth and were so intrigued that we continued the conversation after our call ended (to be released soon!)

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LINKS

Book: Very Bad People, Patrick Alley

Global Witness

Autistic Licence - Autscape episode

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E16: Catherine - Autistic Identity

Sat, 22 Feb 2025 13:13:24 +0000

In this episode we meet Catherine, one of our listeners from the USA. Catherine shares with us about her deep dive into autistic identity.

We discuss some of our experiences throughout our life spans relating to others in education and group settings. We notice ways in which we adapted that don't feel so necessary any longer.

Catherine also comes up with the phrase "social dyspraxia" which we agree is a wonderful descriptor and summary of much of our exploration.

The conversation ends with some beautiful autistic "show and tell" between Leo and Catherine.

We hope you enjoy and welcome your feedback. 💛🧡

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LINKS

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E15: Daniel - Me, Myself and AI

Sat, 15 Feb 2025 09:00:00 +0000

In this episode we speak with Daniel, one of our listeners who responded to our invitation to join us for a guest conversation.

We speak about Daniel's ongoing process of coming to know himself as autistic. We then branch into discussing therapy with AuDHD people, including an exploration of the role artificial intelligence (AI) might play in this.

Daniel introduces us to his concept of "Grand Cycles" and does a fantastic job of describing aphantasia from the inside out.

We absolutely loved meeting Daniel.

Daniel is happy to be contacted at: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielzp/

We hope you enjoy and welcome your feedback. 💛🧡

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LINKS

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E14: Mid Life Musings

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 21:41:15 +0000

In this episode we reflect on the new calendar year and whether this has significance for us.

We then open up a long discussion about the process of "middle age". Leo shares some of his identity shifts and pillars which have become clearer and more robust over the past decade.

Siana reflects on the significance of readiness and of having a template of sorts which has enabled her to enter and navigate this stage of life in a different way.

We speak about themes of hope, expectation, change and growth, and weave in some therapeutic insights along the way.

We hope you enjoy this episode and, as always, your comments and reflections are welcome at autisticlicence@gmail.com 🧡💛

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LINKS

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E13: Festive Friends & Seasonal Traditions

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 11:01:21 +0000

Cadbury has discontinued Festive Friends biscuits 😭 We speak about the effects of product changes for autistic people and return to the topic of sensitivities and allergies.

Leo reflects on the complex interplay he's noticing between ADHD meds, eating / appetite, medical history / considerations and sensory sensitivities.

We move on to talking about aspects of this time of year which we enjoy. We recognise the diversity of our listeners' cultural contexts and we are also mindful of how challenging Christmas can be for many. We wish you all moments of peace and connection in ways that are meaningful for you.

Thank you so much for all your support in 2024 and we'll speak to you on the other side 💛🧡

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LINKS

Get in touch at: autisticlicence@gmail.com

S2 E12: Furry Friends & Existentialism

Sat, 21 Dec 2024 17:36:10 +0000

TRIGGER WARNING
This episode contains discussions about death, which may be triggering for some listeners. Please listen with care and prioritise your well-being.

Leo's dogs join us for this episode and we begin by chatting about our pets. Siana then talks a bit about seasonal sensitivities. We move into speaking about aspects of the transition into sleep at night.

From here things get a bit deep as we go onto speaking about Leo's childhood anxieties about death and psychological safety.

It's a quick ending this time due to busy schedules but perhaps we will circle around to this again in future. As always, your comments and reflections are welcome at autisticlicence@gmail.com 🧡💛

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S2 E11: Life, Times & Sitting Together

Wed, 11 Dec 2024 20:10:46 +0000

Some broad themes in this episode are family lineage, reading and the accessibility of group settings for neurodivergent people.

Leo's great uncle has died at the grand age of 102. Siana has taken another week's deep dive into her ancestry. Leo has been looking into two Buddhist Sanghas and Siana is training in Circle facilitation.

Thank you as ever for listening and for all your support. We'd love to hear your comments and reflections at autisticlicence@gmail.com 🧡 💛

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S2 E10: Where On Earth Did I Come From?!

Thu, 28 Nov 2024 15:48:44 +0000

Siana has recently become interested in tracing her ancestry.

We reflect on aspects of this from an autistic perspective, such as pattern seeking as a way into a deeper search for belonging and connection.

We consider spirituality in a broader sense, touching on personality development and synchronicity.

We open up many more questions than we answer (actually we don't conclude very much at all) but that's probably very apt given the subject matter 😉

Oh, and Leo has been to the dental hygienist, increased ADHD meds and purchased a very beautiful escape key for his computer keyboard 🧡 And we just celebrated our one year pod-iversary.

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LINKS

Leo's Mount Fuji escape key

A discussion on HSP vs autism

Synchronicity: A Carl Jung Perspective

S2 E9: Talking About Talking (STFU)

Wed, 13 Nov 2024 21:18:34 +0000

In this episode we begin with Halloween as a springboard into superstition and then, somehow, onto Leo's ADHD meds update.

Then we move into an exploration around RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and ADA (autistic demand avoidance).

We focus on these two strands within our own relationship dynamic. Leo hopes this might be of use and resonate with people out there, which in turn activates an RSD moment for Siana.

Despite the themes discussed in this episode we really really do want to hear your thoughts, reflections and ideas!!

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LINKS

It's Not A Bloody Trend by Kat Brown (book)

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria/RSD (article)

S2 E8: Balancing Life & Building Community

Sun, 03 Nov 2024 14:45:01 +0000

This episode traverses the theme of building autistic community.

We recognise the dearth of opportunities for autistic people to connect in real time. We share our ideas around how we might like to play a small part in facilitating aspects of this, for example by having guests on the podcast and running groups. We discuss various elements of this from practical, professional and ethical points of view.

We recognise that perhaps the paucity of "out" autistic therapists combined with the lack of existing resources possibly means that in the beginning there will inevitably be "boundary" issues to confront and navigate. More neuroqueering of the norms, we wonder?

As ever, we would love love love to hear your thoughts, ideas and feedback 💛🧡

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S2 E7: Pattern Seeking & The Quest For Balance

Sun, 27 Oct 2024 13:04:38 +0000

This episode was recorded on the day when we had planned a pilot "Odd One In" group meeting.

We cancelled the group with 24 hours notice because only two people had signed up at that point.

We reflect on our relationships to change, flexibility, choice and managing our own ways of being alongside considering others with a variety of needs.

Siana rants about the logistics of the booking system for her Zumba class ... and somehow Leo manages to segway from this into his history of superstition and OCD.

We compare and contrast these experiences with the common autistic activities of sorting and ordering. We then explore the value of certain rituals and ways of doing things from an aesthetic, practical or symbolic point of view.

As ever, we would love to hear your thoughts and comments - autisticlicence@gmail.com

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LINKS

Autisticality

A Guide To Autistic Experience (book)

Leo's pleasingly sliced lemon

S2 E6: I Don't Feel Like Coming Up With A Title

Sat, 19 Oct 2024 13:07:52 +0100

In this episode we discuss the concept of Autistic Demand Avoidance.

Siana differentiates ADA from PDA and speaks from her own experience of how it shows up across a range of areas in her life.

We also check in on Leo's ADHD clinical diagnosis journey. We notice how classic traits of hyperactivity and inattention feature in our lives.

We then discuss some aspects of privilege and class related to lifestyle and "choice". We also introduce a few considerations which seem pertinent to therapeutic relationships.

We do, of course, distract and delight in words and meanings along the way ... which quite possibly says as much about what we are talking about as what we actually say 💛🧡

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S2 E5: Ebb & Flow

Sat, 12 Oct 2024 11:19:53 +0100

This episode is a fairly run-of-the-mill chit chat from a random Thursday in the middle of September.

Themes include doing things for the first time, seasonal rhythms, breathing, special interests and the significance of "perspective".

We showcase Leo's new drone and Siana would like to apologise for "droning" on a bit about her cough.

Bonus SPIN-ny energy at the end 🧡💛

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LINKS

Disability Empowerment Now podcast (DEN)

One of Leo's drone videos

S2 E2: To Medicate Or Not To Medicate (An Auditory Chronicle)

Wed, 02 Oct 2024 22:25:26 +0100

Leo is currently on the NHS pathway towards trying out ADHD medication. We discuss his experience of the assessment process so far. We then explore Siana's experience as a parent navigating the system.

We speak about common obstacles and concerns within the process. We also reflect on whether medication might have changed outcomes for each of us in education and / or the workplace.

We attempt to navigate elements of privilege sensitively and acknowledge that this is an initial conversation which was hope will spark further discussion and reflection.

We would love to hear your thoughts! 🧡💛

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S2 E4: An Existential Experience

Wed, 02 Oct 2024 22:25:10 +0100

This episode is an excerpt from a follow up conversation we had regarding the gap between season 1 and 2.

We reflect on a health situation Leo had to navigate over the summer. We discuss aspects of communication within the health care system and also between us. We also notice our tendency as autistic people to deal with what is in front of us and then to appear to “forget” about it until there is an unconscious reminder.

The good news is that Leo is fine and recovered. Thank-you for listening and for all your support.

🧡💛

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S2 E3: It’s All A Bit Meta

Wed, 02 Oct 2024 22:25:00 +0100

This episode contains our reflections around beginning a new podcast season.

We discuss the gap in recording and wonder about some aspects of this. We explore the concepts of autistic burnout and energy cycles. We also speak about inherent neurodivergence as opposed to the signs of neurodivergent distress or trauma.

It will be no surprise that we digress lots. We conclude that we will continue to record for another “season”.

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LINKS

S2 E1: Autscape

Sun, 08 Sep 2024 21:30:04 +0100

Welcome to Season 2 💛 🧡

This episode was recorded just after Leo returned from Autscape.

We explore his experience and broaden this out to discuss the hallmarks of wider autistic culture.

We then reflect on some of the perils and pitfalls inherent in making the transition "back" and between autistic land and neurotypical society.

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S1 E32: Hamilton, Socialising and the Art of Autistic Communication

Sun, 28 Jul 2024 21:15:06 +0100

This episode opens with a discussion of the "Hamilton" theatre production. Leo delights in the complexity of the rapid lyrical genius, enjoying being caught up in the current and looking forward to revisiting it again and again. Siana's experience, in contrast, is one of overwhelm and withdrawal.

This is an example of polarities often seen within the autistic community and the significance of context when looking at our capacities and challenges.

Siana reflects further on wearing Loop™ earplugs to manage overstimulation - at the theatre, on the tube and recently when out in a social context. We compare this with other ways in which we and others use all sorts of "accommodations" to manage our external and internal relationships and interactions.

We then switch to speaking about communication within a therapeutic context, including aspects such as body language, eye contact and silence.

Thank you for listening to us. If you have any comments or feedback, positive or negative, we are open and would love to hear from you.
💛🧡
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Loop earplugs

Radiolab - Stravinsky's Rite of Spring

S1 E31: A Polyvagal Training Experience

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 14:31:08 +0100

In this episode we discuss Leo's recent experience of attending a training course.

We track many details of this, from the planning to sensory challenges and considerations, to social interactions and disclosure.

We notice distinctive aspects of this which we experience differently as autistic people, many of which might not be predictable or discernible to our non autistic peers and training facilitators.

Again for this episode we have cut most of the tangential chunks in order to maintain focus for the finished edit, however we may combine all the tangents for a future release!

Thank you for all your support and, as ever, please get in touch with us at autisticlicence@gmail.com if you have any comments or reflections you would like to share.

LINKS

Deb Dana & Polyvagal Theory

S1 E30: Autistic Travels

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 08:58:58 +0100

This episode chronicles some of Siana’s travel experiences on a recent trip to London with her daughter. We speak about navigating public transport systems, accommodation and orientation.

We highlight things which we find helpful and comforting as autistic people, such as familiar places and foods and building time buffers into our plans. We also focus on the significance of asking for help – both when that goes well and when it doesn’t. We note the anxiety and vulnerability we can experience with cumulative challenges and unpredictable situations.

We have cut out many of the tangents to keep the episode focused on travel aspects but there were many enjoyable and fun times. 😊

LINKS

S1 E29: Autistic Empathy

Sun, 30 Jun 2024 10:19:33 +0100

This episode is an exploration of some aspects of empathic communication and connection which may be distinctive for us as autistic people. We notice the significance of this within the contexts of friendship and therapy.

This dialogue also demonstrates some elements of a repair process and how - within a safe relational space - interpersonal dynamics can be discussed without defensiveness.

As ever, we value any feedback you may have - you can reach us at autisticlicence@gmail.com

LINKS

S1 E28: Spiky Profiles

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 13:30:57 +0100

In this episode we reflect (broadly!) on the concept of having "spiky profiles". This relates to us having aptitudes in some areas and limitations in others, usually where the differences are more pronounced than might be expected in the general population.

As usual, we record without a plan / topic in mind and so there are lots of tangents. We think the authenticity of how we speak in addition to what we say also further demonstrates some of the conundrums of being "spiky" in this way.

We talk about some aspects of our educational histories, noting the unidentified autism and some of the ways in which we have reframed our ways of being nowadays in light of our ongoing personal identification journeys.

Please do feel free to email us at autisticlicence@gmail.com if you have any feedback you would like to share. Thank-you so much for being with us and all your support.

LINKS

Fractals

The Piano, Channel 4 (UK)

Spiky profiles

That's The Way I Think by David Grant

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

S1 E27: The Joy of Words and Sounds

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 21:39:41 +0100

"Echolalia" might seem like mere mimicry to some but, for many autistic individuals, it's a profound way to connect and communicate. In this episode we challenge the often-pathologised views of echolalia, highlighting its role in creating warmth and fostering joint attention.

Join us as we celebrate the nuances of language, accents, and sensory experiences in autistic communication. Through personal stories and reflections we explore how unconscious speech adaptations and repetitive behaviours provide consistency, creativity and joy.

As well as the similarities in our experiences, this episode also showcases some differences between us in relation to the ways our hyper-connected brain pathways respond to the world. It's always good to be reminded of the old adage "If you know one autistic person, you know one autistic person!"

LINKS
Radiolab - Stravinsky's Rite of Spring

Synaptic pruning

ABA PBS - critical article

Neuroclastic - What is ABA?

AMASE - On ‘Positive Behaviour Support’

ABA Kindle book

Francis Bourgeois on TikTok

Francis Bourgeois on Instagram

Francis Bourgeois on YouTube

S1 E26: Neuroqueer Dialogue

Sat, 25 May 2024 20:38:39 +0100

The general theme of this episode is gender and sexuality.

As usual we blend personal anecdotes with some theory and reflection. We shine some light on asexuality as an orientation which is often invisible and / or invalidated by both heteronormative and queer communities.

We then discuss the concept of neuroqueering and apply this to our own evolving identities markers and practices. We acknowledge and explore the impact of imposter syndrome and shame on our processes.

This recording is in two parts and the sound quality in the second half is a little different. The fact that it is in two parts means that you will get an in situ insight into the dynamic and ever changing nature of our dialogue.

We reflect on the vulnerability of being transparent in this way, particularly in relation to this topic and with reference to our therapeutic practices. The way in which we do this may actually be "neuroqueering" in the moment?!

Let us know what you think at autisticlicence@gmail.com We love to hear from you 💛🧡

LINKS

Photo of Dave Matthews Band

Neuroqueer glossary

Ace & Aro spectrum definitions

S1 E25: What are you having for dinner?

Wed, 22 May 2024 20:04:31 +0100

The complexities of food and eating - the latest episode in our occasional mini-series on autistic senses and sensitivities.

You'll hear about our experiences of eating in a range of contexts throughout our lives. We notice the degree of shame and misattunement which is often attached to this - so much so that Siana was too uncomfortable to discuss the topic in any detail until we were actually together in person and needed to eat.

As if in an effort to 'join in' the conversation, Leo's tummy starts rumbling at around 36':30". We were going to try and edit it out, but left its contributions in to honour the "stomach as another brain" theory!

If you would like to connect with us about this topic or anything else, you can reach us at autisticlicence@gmail.com. We love to hear from you 🧡💛

LINKS

S1 E24: Disclosing Autism

Mon, 13 May 2024 17:58:24 +0100

This conversation came out of a few messages we have received around the theme of disclosing our autistic identities.

We discuss our experiences and notice there is often a distinction between our professional and personal lives. We reflect and speculate on why this might be, with particular regard to long standing relationships.

We reference the impact of ableism, recognising that unmasking is both a choice and a political move which unfortunately nowadays is not always safe, helpful or desirable. Yet.

It doesn't stop us doing a podcast though!

We love to hear from you - please get in touch at autisticlicence@gmail.com if you would like to join the conversation.

LINKS

S1 E23: Sox & Religion

Sun, 28 Apr 2024 12:00:44 +0100

Ok, so this episode may be a bit niche 😉

Leo has been searching for the perfect socks and he believes he has found them ... (time will tell).

Somehow, Siana's autistic brain tendrils manage to link his fervour with evangelical Christian zeal and she goes down and round about that rabbit warren for a while.

We speak about our own experiences of religion as autistic people and wind up reaching quite a profound moment towards the end when we consider the significance of autistic-to-autistic mirroring on actualisation (becoming truly ourselves).

We considered not releasing this episode but we realised there was quite a lot of internalised NT perceptions driving our concern, namely that it could be seen as "dull" or "boring". So we have overridden that in the interests of authenticity and in the hope that some of you might relate. Enjoy (or skip!!!)

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S1 E22: Indispensable?

Sun, 21 Apr 2024 11:37:18 +0100

Leo (still) has Covid. Through this conversation we wind up exploring a drive he has to be useful, to serve.

We notice how this shows up between us and reflect on how it may have developed. We also consider how it might change in the future so that it becomes less of a default and more of a mindful choice.

Along the way you can expect some typical autistic literalism and a discussion about the "Drama Triangle" (roles people play).

LINKS

Karpman's Drama Triangle

S1 E21: Navigating Healthcare

Sun, 14 Apr 2024 11:23:20 +0100

Trigger warning for mention of life threatening scenarios and maternal birthing distress. If you have particular sensitivities around your own experiences of healthcare please consider carefully whether and / or when you might listen to this episode.

We speak about a wide range of our experiences related to being unwell and / or navigating our healthcare needs. This ranges from planned hospital stays to emergency admissions, from managing familiar health needs to circumstances such as giving birth and receiving vaccines.

We notice common autistic idiosyncrasies related to our perceptions of pain and discomfort. We note that many times autistic people are misunderstood and misread, which can have traumatic and isolating effects. We also reflect on self sufficiency and its limitations. And, finally!, we savour the effects of some significant interactions where we have been seen and attended to in ways which felt meaningful and profound.

We weave in some therapeutic chat related to our own communication this week while Leo has been unwell with Covid.
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S1 E20: The Loneliness of Difference

Sun, 07 Apr 2024 09:30:02 +0100

Trigger warning
This episode deals with the topics of loneliness and suicide.
Please take care of yourself and think about the timing and where your support is if you decide to listen.

We reflect on our experiences and relationships in the past, which led to loneliness, disconnection and feelings of life not being worth living. We also reflect on the distinctions between company, co-regulation and presence.

We recognise that these topics are heavy and in need of careful and responsible handling. At the same time, they're extremely common among the autistic community and we feel it's important to shine light on them.

LINKS

S1 E19: Food, noise and the "feel" of things

Mon, 01 Apr 2024 23:01:50 +0100

In this episode we talk about sensitivities to physical and sensory stimuli. We focus on challenges around noise, food and physical (dis)comfort.

We speak about the significance of autonomy. We also discuss interpersonal misunderstandings related to us not doing "what's good" for us. We note the important distinction here between things being seen as preferences rather than (in)tolerances.

Seasonal references provided intermittently as we experience in real time the 26 minute time difference between sunset in London and Carrickfergus. And basically reflect on how we might control time were we in charge. Sure, how else would two Autistic people make meaning out of Easter?!

LINKS

S1 E18: Multi Tracks

Sun, 24 Mar 2024 20:04:00 +0000

This episode is a spontaneous Saturday chit chat.

There's a fair amount of "here and now" energy and interaction, interspersed with memories and reflections.

Siana talks about her experience of ADHD when it fires in multiple directions at once - something which for her does not exclude hyperfocus "flow" states.

Leo reflects on a range of experiences he is now reframing in light of autism, such as the after effects of exhilarating events and "talking to myself".

We touch on concepts such as echolalia and synaptic pruning, applying these to our own experiences and challenging some common misconceptions. We conclude that as AuDHDers, while we absolutely face challenges around over stimulation, we also have tremendous capacity for sensory joy and pleasure.

LINKS

S1 E17: Autistiphobia Revisited

Sat, 16 Mar 2024 21:23:28 +0000

This episode is in many ways a reflection on elements of the last one.

We speak about early narratives and experiences, and the lifelong meaning and impact of these. We apply this to therapeutic contexts and approaches, specifically Transactional Analysis and Internal Family Systems, and we relate this to therapy with autistic people.

We also explore the concept of so called "rigid" thinking and the possible significance of this for us as autistic people growing up in a world where the template for living which is offered to us does not fit or deliver.

Special guest contribution from Phoebe - Siana's cat - in this episode 😻

LINKS

Relational Transactional Analysis

The Drama Triangle

Life Positions

Drivers & Injunctions

“Know all the theories, master all the techniques, but as you touch a human soul be just another human soul.”
Carl Jung

S1 E16: Autistiphobia - Inside Out

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 00:02:49 +0000

In this episode we discuss how we, as autistic people, are seen and experienced by others. We then traverse some thorny territory relating to how we see ourselves and influence each other.

These are sensitive ideas and topics, interspersed with distractions, brain glitches and spiralling reasoning which somehow loops together in the end.

LINKS

S1 E15: Queering Relationships

Sun, 03 Mar 2024 10:30:00 +0000

In this episode we begin to circumambulate the intersectionality of autism and queerness.

We begin with Siana's home interior decorating project and finish up discussing Leo's gender identity development. In between we wax lyrical around some relationship models, notably Siana's current QPR (queer platonic relationship).

Comical interlude provided by Leo's beautifully curated ritual around a previous relationship.

Topic to be continued - we listen to your feedback and suggestions 🧡💛 Keep them coming!

Trigger warning : brief reference to suicide in relation to trauma towards the end of this episode

LINKS

Queer Platonic Relationships

S1 E14: Airports and Smells

Sat, 24 Feb 2024 18:50:01 +0000

This episode is another “in person” recording. We reflect on our experiences of travelling with and without accommodations.

We specifically speak about the profound benefits for us of wearing a Sunflower lanyard when travelling in busy and often overwhelming airports.

We also talk about the significance of our sense of smell, in particular Leo’s awareness of this in new places.

NOISE WARNING: towards the end of our chat we talk about the possibility of adding a noise warning to this episode. This is because of some loud noise from people working outside during the recording. The warning wasn't necessary in the end as we were able to filter it out in the edit. Clever us!

LINKS

What is the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower? (hdsunflower.com)

S1 E13: Autistic Presence

Sat, 24 Feb 2024 14:58:39 +0000

We recorded this episode while we were together in Siana’s house last weekend. We explore co-regulation and bring in various ideas and theories from autistic, therapeutic and scientific communities to flavour our discussion.

We end up specifically inviting the non autistic community to join and get to know us and, most importantly, the autistic people around them.

LINKS

Trauma and the nervous system: a polyvagal perspective (youtube.com)

Resources | Rhythm of Regulation

What is the double empathy problem? (smallstepps.com)

The ‘double empathy problem’: Ten years on - Damian Milton, Emine Gurbuz, Beatriz López, 2022 (sagepub.com)

S1 E12: Spoonies!

Sun, 04 Feb 2024 16:10:11 +0000

In this episode we explore the finite nature of personal energy and capacity. We refer to our own experiences and to wider "spoon theory".

The pace of this conversation is slow and relaxed; it's basically two autistic people hanging out together. If that's your vibe, we'd love you to join us 🧡💛

On that note, our Facebook community is growing fast and you would be very welcome there too - see the links below...

LINKS

Facebook

S1 E11: An indirect exploration of Jungian Sandplay

Sun, 21 Jan 2024 20:27:01 +0000

Leo enquires about Jungian Sandplay, a therapeutic modality Siana offers in her therapy practice. We explore Siana's demand avoidance about the prospect of speaking about this and then eventually get there in a perfectly autistic way.

This is a lovely illustration of "Takiwatanga" which we happened to post about on our Facebook feed this week. Takiwatanga is the Maori word for autism which translates as "in their own time and space".
Join us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555354942260

LINKS

What is demand avoidance? – PDA Society

The PDA Summit 2023 (thepdaspace.com)

Autistic Demand Avoidance – an example – Riko's blog: PDA and more. (wordpress.com)

Petition · National Autistic Society to remove harmfully biased PDA information from their website · Change.org

Facebook
facebook.com/autisticlicencepodcast

Podcast home
autisticlicence.podbean.com

Our website
autisticlicence.com

Our other socials
linktr.ee/autisticlicence

S1 E10: Getting It 'Right'

Sun, 14 Jan 2024 18:49:38 +0000

In this episode we explore the centrality of the core value of justice for many autistic people.

We discuss the impacts on us when things aren't "right" or fair, the tenacity needed to address these and the toll this takes on us.

We then tentatively begin to explore some particular ways in which our social experiences correlate with theory around masking, fawning and appeasement.

LINKS

Trauma 101 with Linda Thai - Learning about trauma can be empowering and transformative.

When Agreement is Not Consent - Appeasement is the trauma response no one is talking about - By Rae Johnson and Nkem Ndefo

Appeasement: replacing Stockholm syndrome as a definition of a survival strategy

Facebook
facebook.com/autisticlicencepodcast

Podcast home
autisticlicence.podbean.com

Our website
autisticlicence.com

Our other socials
linktr.ee/autisticlicence

S1 E9: 2024, we’re here for it...

Sun, 07 Jan 2024 20:47:32 +0000

In today's episode we're gearing up for the new year in our therapy practices.

We reflect on therapeutic relationships and processes, wondering about and exploring those facets which might just be unique to autistic or AuDHD lives.

And we talk about our hopes and dreams for the podcast in 2024 inviting you to connect with us as we build the Autistic Licence community together.

Our website
autisticlicence.com

Our socials
linktr.ee/autisticlicence

S1 E8: A Neurospicy Experience

Sat, 30 Dec 2023 23:23:22 +0000

You are very welcome to join us here for Christmas Part 2.

Recorded on Boxing Day 2023, we reflect on our "festive" experiences this year. We then springboard off a seemingly inconsequential moment we shared recently, into a deeply satisfying autistic dive.

We'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences, neurospicy and otherwise.

Our website
autisticlicence.com

Our socials
linktr.ee/autisticlicence

S1 E7: ’Tis the season...

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 13:01:43 +0000

Join us as we explore and reflect on our experiences of Christmases past and the lead up to this year's "festivities".

We sensitively unpack some specific challenges the season poses for us and our neurokin. We share some of our learning from over the years and recognise this is still a work in progress.

In true autistic style this episode jumps around a fair bit and diverts left, right and centre ... yet wondrously (autistically ❤️) arcs right back to where it needs to be at the end.

At the time of release we tentatively intend to record again during the coming week as we are intrigued to track the process. But, y'know, demand avoidance and all that means we need some grace on the timing of all that.

Thank you so, so, so, so much for all your encouragement and support over the past couple of months! This project truly delights our hearts ❤️

Our website
autisticlicence.com

Our socials
linktr.ee/autisticlicence

S1 E6: It’s all in the detail

Sat, 09 Dec 2023 12:45:01 +0000

Here we talk about loss and retrieval - of a car, a voice and even of the land!

We reflect on the line between being perceived as "annoying" verses being curious, further expanding the pitfalls and the benefits of being #actuallyautistic in social and therapeutic contexts.

Join us for a mix of complexity and so-called "info dumping" within a warm, kind and therapeutic space.

LINKS

Linda Thai
www.linda-thai.com

Trauma Geek's blog post
autietraumageek.medium.com/lost-in-translation-the-social-language-theory-of-neurodivergence-part-1-of-2-1963ba0073c5

Our website
autisticlicence.com

Our socials
linktr.ee/autisticlicence

S1 E5: SPINning free

Sun, 03 Dec 2023 10:48:24 +0000

In this episode we share some autistic joy 🤗

Expect the usual winding tangents, several 'aha!' moments and a healthy smattering of play and frivolity.

Our website
https://autisticlicence.com

Our socials
https://linktr.ee/autisticlicence

S1 E4: Sorting, lining up & managing stress

Wed, 22 Nov 2023 19:44:01 +0000

In this episode we talk about how we look after ourselves when we are away from home. We explore some ways we manage the stress of "too much". We unpack our need for order and planning alongside the complex concept of autistic consistency.

Light relief in the form of coffee, postcards and La la loopsies.

Our website
https://autisticlicence.com

Our socials
https://linktr.ee/autisticlicence

S1 E3: Exposure & vulnerability

Sat, 11 Nov 2023 11:11:00 +0000

In this episode we share our experiences of exposure and vulnerability.

As therapists we open ourselves up to our clients, as friends and family members we manage how we relate to those close to us, and now as podcasters we reveal unmasked versions of ourselves to YOU - unseen and unknown people - for the first time.

We talk about how we're feeling and thinking about this and in turn, how important feedback and adjustment is as we navigate all these relationships. What will the people in our lives make of the podcast versions of us?

Also, we talk about the names we give things in the therapeutic world, about the pandemic and our experience of home, and the joy of coming out from behind our "masks”.

Three episodes in, are we ready for you to listen to us?

It's time for you let us know what's on your mind and what we should chat about in our next episode: autisticlicence@gmail.com

Links

Bonnie Badnoch

Our website

Our socials

S1 E2: Nothing ”just happens”

Sat, 11 Nov 2023 11:11:00 +0000

Siana goes to a Deacon Blue concert and talks about stimulation and over-stimulation. We compare notes on what that feels like and what we do to recover.

We talk about how "nothing just happens" in our lives. Why "it depends" and "good enough" are such important concepts to us as autistic people.

An interruption by Leo's dogs Molly & Woody provides a wonderful illustration of distraction and how this effects AuDHD communication and thought!

Links

Deacon Blue

Spoon Theory

An article on demand avoidance

Our website

Our socials

S1 E1: Welcome to Autistic Licence!

Sat, 11 Nov 2023 11:11:00 +0000

In this first episode, we talk about why we're starting our podcast.

Leo remembers the comfort of the spoken word on radio in trying to escape the fear of night-time silence as an undiagnosed autistic kid. Whilst Siana thinks about her own childhood discomfort with speaking out, and why sometimes staying quiet can be a survival response for a child living an autistic experience.

As these conversations unfold, we make new connections and re-frame our narratives, and we hope that this might have a similar effect on our listeners.

We talk about how autistic people might find validation and familiarity in our experiences, and how non-autistic people might recognise and better understand autistic people in their lives.

We also begin to explore how being #actuallyautistic therapists influences our work, and why autistic-to-autistic therapy is so important.

Plus, what is “autistic communication” anyway?

Links

Our website

Our socials

The Square Peg podcast episode with Max Marnau