Advancing Women Podcast

The Good Guy Problem: When Allyship Can’t Hear Feedback

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 19:00:00 -0300

What happens when the people we believe are on our side… can’t hear us?

In this episode, I explore what I call the “good guy problem”…those moments when someone who sees themselves as fair, supportive, and an ally is given feedback, and instead of responding with curiosity, something shifts. The conversation moves away from what was experienced and toward protecting intentions, identity, and self-perception.

What makes these moments so complex is that they’re not random. Beneath the surface, something predictable is happening. Drawing on research in social psychology, including work on identity threat and moral self-image (e.g., Benoît Monin & Dale T. Miller), feedback about behavior can be experienced as a challenge to who someone believes they are. Instead of hearing, “Here’s something to reflect on,” the message becomes, “You’re not who you think you are.” And once that shift happens, the conversation is no longer about impact, it’s about protection.

We revisit my 3 A’s Model of Allyship (Acknowledgement, Amplification, and Action) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-3as-of-allyship-acknowledge-amplify-act/id1569849100?i=1000561686008 and name a critical insight: Allyship often breaks down at the very first step. Not when allies are learning about inequity in theory, but in the moment when someone says, “Something about that didn’t feel right.” Because acknowledgement, in that moment, requires the ability to sit with discomfort and remain open, even when it challenges your sense of self.

When that doesn’t happen, allyship can quietly slip into something more fragile; strong when affirmed, but unstable when challenged. This is “fragile allyship”. Instead of creating space for truth, it begins to prioritize comfort. And in that shift, women often find themselves not only naming what happened, but also managing the reaction that follows.

The episode also touches on the concept of Epistemic injustice (Miranda Fricker), which helps explain why these moments can feel so disempowering. When someone’s lived experience is questioned or dismissed, it’s not just disagreement; it’s a subtle undermining of their authority to interpret their own reality. And when that comes from someone positioned as an ally, it can erode trust in ways that are hard to name but deeply felt.

At its core, this episode comes back to a simple, necessary truth: you can be a good person and still get it wrong. In fact, the ability to hold both is what makes real allyship possible. Because if being “good” means never being wrong, there’s no room to listen, learn, or grow.

Real allyship isn’t about perfection. It’s about what happens in the moment when you’re told you missed something. It’s the ability to stay, to listen to impact without defensiveness, and to choose understanding over self-protection. #tunein #allyship

Continue the Conversation! If this episode resonated with you, share it with another woman who might need this reframe. As always, “It’s not your fault, but it is your problem”

Listen, Subscribe, Connect! The Advancing Women Podcast

The 3As of Allyship (Acknowledge, Amplify, Act)

It’s Not Your Fault You Struggle to Say No (But It Is Your Problem)

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 19:54:17 -0300

We hear it all the time:
“You’re too busy because you make yourself too busy.”
“It’s your own fault.”
“You just need to learn to say no.”

But what if it’s not that simple?

In this episode, we unpack the uncomfortable truth behind that advice, and why it so often falls flat for women. Saying no isn’t just about willpower or better boundaries. It’s shaped by social expectations, workplace dynamics, and very real consequences.

This is where empathy meets pragmatism.

We move beyond blame and into understanding:

Why saying no feels so heavy
The hidden costs women face when they do
And how to approach boundaries in a way that actually serves you

Because while it’s not your fault that saying no feels hard…
it is your problem to solve if you want to avoid burnout, resentment, and misalignment.

Key Insight: Saying no isn’t just about boundaries, it’s about navigating systems that were never designed with you in mind. So, if it’s not a hell yes, it’s probably a hell no.

Make room for the opportunities that actually move you forward.

💛 Final Thought: You are not failing at boundaries. You are navigating expectations, bias, and systems that make boundaries harder for you to hold.

And once you understand the game…you can start playing it differently.

Continue the Conversation! If this episode resonated with you, share it with another woman who might need this reframe.

Listen, Subscribe, Connect!

Overwhelmed or Overfunctioning? How the Language of Overwhelm Blames Women

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 19:00:00 -0300

What if “overwhelm” isn’t actually the problem?

In this episode, we take a closer look at a word many women use to describe their lives—and challenge what it might be hiding.

Because when women say they’re overwhelmed, it often sounds like a capacity problem…like we simply can’t handle everything on our plates.

But what if the issue isn’t capacity at all?

What if what we’re really experiencing is overfunctioning, quietly carrying more responsibility, more emotional labor, and more invisible work than anyone was meant to sustain?

In this episode, we do what we always do on the Advancing Women Podcast:
we question the narratives, name the invisible systems, and connect personal experiences to the bigger picture.

Because sometimes what feels like a personal struggle… is actually something structural.

In This Episode, We Explore:

Why the word “overwhelm” can unintentionally place blame on women
The concept of overfunctioning and how capability becomes expectation
How being responsible for everything can quietly turn into being blamed for everything
The role of emotional labor and the mental load in women’s exhaustion
Why a growth mindset can backfire in systems that depend on overfunctioning
How “trying harder” often reinforces the very dynamics that are burning women out
What it really means to reclaim boundarieswithout becoming less capable

Research & Concepts Referenced

This episode draws on a growing body of research around invisible labor and gendered expectations:

Arlie Hochschild: Emotional labor and the management of feelings and relationships
Allison Daminger: The “mental load” and the cognitive work of anticipating, planning, and coordinating
Gemma Hartley: Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward, which explores how women’s invisible labor is normalized, expected, and often undervalued
Emerging conversations in psychology and coaching around overfunctioning in high-capacity women
Ferrera, A. (2023). Barbie [Film]. Warner Bros. (Barbie monologue delivered by America Ferrera)

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, try shifting the question. It’s not “What do I need to do better?” But: “What have I been carrying that was never meant to be mine alone?”

The exhaustion many women feel isn’t necessarily a sign of failure. Sometimes it’s a sign that you’ve been holding too much for too long.

And once you can see that pattern, you have the power to interrupt it.

To question the language.
To challenge the narratives.
To stop automatically stepping in when systems quietly assume you will.

Because sometimes the most radical move a capable woman can make…
is refusing to carry what was never hers alone.

And as always, remember: It’s not your fault… but it is your problem.

Continue the Conversation! If this episode resonated with you, share it with another woman who might need this reframe.

Listen, Subscribe, Connect!

· Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast

The Women Who Saved the Wizarding World

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 19:00:00 -0300

When we think about heroes, the names that come to mind are often male. Yes, in history books, but also in everyday pop culture.

From Neo in The Matrix to Luke Skywalker in Star Wars to Harry Potter himself, many of our most celebrated hero narratives center on a single “chosen one”. But when we look more closely at those stories, we often discover something important: heroes rarely stand alone.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, in Women’s History Month, we revisit the wizarding world of Harry Potter and shine a light on the women whose courage, intelligence, leadership, and moral conviction helped save the wizarding world.

From Lily Potter’s sacrificial love to Hermione Granger’s strategic brilliance, from Molly Weasley’s fierce protection to Minerva McGonagall’s steadfast leadership, the women of Hogwarts repeatedly demonstrate that heroism takes many forms.

We also explore the courage of Ginny Weasley, who grows into her voice and leadership, the quiet wisdom and authenticity of Luna Lovegood, and the surprising role of Narcissa Malfoy, whose love for her son leads her to defy Voldemort at a pivotal moment.

Together, these characters remind us that the most powerful acts of courage are not always the most visible.

Sometimes heroism looks like sacrifice.
Sometimes it looks like preparation.
Sometimes it looks like standing your ground.
Sometimes it looks like finding your voice.

And sometimes, it looks like simply refusing to stop being yourself.

In the end, the wizarding world may have been saved by the “chosen one”… but he was never the only hero.

Key Takeaway: There are different kinds of courage. Different kinds of leadership. Different kinds of heroism. And when we start to recognize them, we begin to see the extraordinary women who may have been saving the world all along.

Listen if you enjoy:

• Harry Potter analysis
• Women’s leadership stories
• Feminist perspectives on popular culture
• Character-driven storytelling
• Women’s History Month reflections

#HarryPotter #WomenInLeadership #WomensHistoryMonth #WomenWhoLead #advancingwomenpodcst

Let’s Connect:

· Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast

· LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

“Ain’t I a Woman” Black Feminist Voices That Changed the World

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 19:00:00 -0400

February is Black History Month! A time to honor the leadership, scholarship, and activism of African Americans whose contributions have shaped our nation. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we center and celebrate the Black women whose intellectual and political leadership fundamentally transformed feminism and continue to shape the ongoing work of gender equity.

Too often, the history of the women’s movement highlights figures like Stanton and Anthony while overlooking the central role Black women played in abolition, suffrage, civil rights, and feminist thought. Long before the term intersectionality was coined, Black women were living and articulating the layered realities of racism, sexism, classism, and homophobia.

We begin with the powerful words of Sojourner Truth and her 1851 “Ain’t I a Woman?” speech, and we explore the evolution of the feminist movement through its three waves. We examine how Black feminist thought reshaped and expanded mainstream feminism during the 1960s and 1970s. We honor leaders such as:

bell hooks, who defined feminism as “a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression.”
Audre Lorde, who reminded us, “I am not free while any woman is unfree.”
Shirley Chisholm, the first Black woman elected to Congress, whose legacy of being “Unbought and Unbossed” redefined feminist leadership.
Kimberlé Crenshaw, who coined the term intersectionality and warned that when movements fail to be intersectional, the most vulnerable fall through the cracks.
Angela Davis, whose lifelong commitment to justice reminds us that equity work is not a moment…it’s a movement.
Maya Angelou, whose words call us forward: “Take up the battle. It is yours.”

This episode examines why Black feminism is foundational to inclusive leadership, and why intersectionality is essential to advancing women. If we are not intersectional, we are not advancing all women.

If we are not advancing all women, we are not advancing women!

This conversation is about honoring legacy, not just in February, but always. It is about recognizing that the unfinished work of equity requires courage, scholarship, service, and collective responsibility.

Because together, we rise.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a colleague, a student, or a friend. The work of advancing women requires all of us.

Let’s Connect:

· Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast

· Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast

· LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

The Radical Act of Enough: Self-Love in a World That Demands More

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 19:00:00 -0400

Episode Summary:
February is the month of love. A time overflowing with hearts, flowers, and grand gestures. Reminders that our worth is somehow tied to being chosen. In this episode, we flip the script. Instead of seeking validation from the world, we explore the radical act of choosing yourself. We dive into:

How women are conditioned to feel “not enough” and simultaneously “too much” and the toll this double bind takes on our well-being.
Why self-love and self-acceptance are acts of resistance, not complacency.
Practical ways to bring self-compassion into daily life, even while pursuing goals and ambitions.
How rest, doing less, and embracing “good enough” are revolutionary acts in a culture obsessed with more.

Through personal stories, research insights, and reflection prompts, this episode invites you to stop arguing with your worth and start practicing radical self-love right now. Because your worth was never up for debate.

Key Takeaways:

Self-love is infrastructure, not indulgence. It sustains growth rather than replacing ambition.
Rest and self-care are revolutionary acts in a culture that equates productivity with value.
Embracing your cracks, imperfections, and limits allows you to show up fully without sacrificing yourself.
The mantra “I am enough. I do enough. I have enough.” is not just feel-good talk, it’s a daily practice.

Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:

AWP Episode: Warriors Need Love (and Self-Care Too) With Wellness Warrior Erica Golub

AWP Episode: Going Little

AWP Episode: Cracks, Courage, & The Light That Gets In

AWP Episode: Achieving Goals. Mindset, Skillset, Toolset

Quote: "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Budda

Let’s Connect:

We Don’t Need Bigger Goals. We Need Better Systems

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 19:00:00 -0400

By late January, many of us have already felt it…the quiet pressure, the creeping doubt, the sense that despite our best intentions, the year may start looking a lot like the last one. If that resonates, this episode is for you. This isn’t about trying harder or setting even bigger goals. It’s about recognizing that you’re not failing your goals…the systems you’ve been given may be failing you.

Inspired by a simple but powerful reminder “If your habits don’t change, you won’t have a new year, just another year” this conversation reframes goal-setting through a systems lens. Drawing on research, coaching practice, and lived experience, we explore why so many women are ambitious, capable, and driven, and still find themselves running into the same barriers year after year.

As James Clear reminds us, “You do not rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.” This episode takes that insight seriously, especially in environments shaped by gender bias, unspoken rules, and expectations that were never designed with women in mind.

In this episode, we explore:

Why goals are rarely the issue, and why systems shape outcomes
The difference between wanting change and building identity-based habits that sustain it
How bias shows up in everyday interactions through tone policing, attribution, and narrative control
Why “fix-the-women” approaches continue to miss the real problem
How over-apologizing and deflecting credit quietly undermine women’s professional capital
Why women’s achievements are often attributed to luck, and how to disrupt that pattern

#tunein for a systems approach designed for us

This episode builds on my Four Ps Advancement Model™ A framework I’ve shared previously on the podcast to offer a systems-based approach to women’s advancement that centers reality, not blame. The model focuses on:

Problems – Identifying the real problem beneath biased framing
Patterns – Recognizing recurring dynamics that limit progress
Processes – Clarifying whether the barrier is about mindset, skillset, or toolset
Proficiencies – Leveraging the “super skills” women develop by navigating inequity

You can hear the full breakdown of the Four Ps in a previous episode, linked here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-4ps-advancement-model/id1569849100?i=1000525495125

Rather than asking women to adapt endlessly to broken systems, this approach helps us respond with intention, interrupt narratives that don’t serve us, and invest our time and energy where it actually leads to impact.

The takeaway: You are not behind. You are not lacking ambition. And you are not doing this alone. We don’t need to be more motivated or more polished, we need systems that acknowledge reality, interrupt bias, and support our goals.

As Admiral Grace Hopper said, “The most dangerous phrase in the English language is: ‘We’ve always done it this way.’” This episode is an invitation to question inherited advice, reject strategies that were never built for us, and design systems that help us move forward together. #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast #podcast #advancingwomen

Reference:

DeSimone 4 Ps Advancement Model™ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House.

Let’s Connect:

· Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

· Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

· LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

It’s Not Your Fault: Gaslighting, Fragile Accountability, and Invisible Labor

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 19:00:00 -0400

Why do so many women leave conversations feeling confused, guilty, or like everything is somehow their fault?

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we dive into the subtle but corrosive relational patterns that show up in everyday work and home dynamics. The quiet processes that shift responsibility, distort accountability, and erode self-trust over time.

We explore:

DARVO” a defensive pattern (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) that flips accountability and turns the person raising concerns into the “problem”
Gaslighting: not the buzzword, but the researched process that erodes trust in your own perceptions over time, especially in unequal power dynamics
Fragile accountability: when feedback is experienced as attack, reasonable expectations feel persecutory, and responsibility collapses under discomfort
Invisible labor: the mental, emotional, and logistical work women disproportionately carry, and how it fuels the “nagging” trap

This episode explains why these dynamics feel so disorienting, how they thrive in gendered systems, and what changes when we finally name them clearly.

If you’ve ever wondered:

Why you’re always apologizing
Why accountability conversations go nowhere
Why you feel responsible without having real authority

This episode offers language, clarity, and release from misplaced guilt.

Key takeaway: You’re not imagining it. These are known patterns. Naming them doesn’t make you difficult, it makes you awake. And clarity is where advancing begins.

Advancing Women Podcast previous episodes referenced in this episode:

Emotional Labor: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/emotional-labor/id1569849100?i=1000531515098

The 4 Ps Advancement Model: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-4ps-advancement-model/id1569849100?i=1000525495125

For more on the 4 Ps Advancement Model: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

Let’s Connect:

· Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

· Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

· LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Choosing Yourself: Reflections and Intentions for the Year Ahead

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 19:00:00 -0400

Episode Description: Welcome, warriors, to the final episode of the year! In this reflective, heart-centered conversation, we pause to honor everything this year asked of us, explore the importance of choosing ourselves, and set intentions for the year ahead, not as a “new year, new you” exercise, but as an invitation to care for and prioritize ourselves with compassion. We dive into:

The power of choosing yourself as a practice, with intention
Why resting, slowing down, and doing less is revolutionary for women
How perfectionism, “prove-it-again” bias, & societal expectations shape our lives
Reflections on community, support, and the collective wisdom of the Advancing Women Podcast

Along the way, we revisit some of the year’s most resonant AWP episodes:

Permission to Pause: Can We Stop Doing and Just Be for a Minute?: Exploring why productivity has become a stand-in for worth and why rest is essential.
Go Little: Comfort, Joy, and the Art of Doing Less: Redefining success and learning to embrace the meaningfulness of “small” actions and joy.
There Is a Crack in Everything: That’s How the Light Gets In: Inspired by Leonard Cohen’s lyric and Kintsugi, exploring perfectionism, resilience, and honoring the cracks in our lives.

This episode is a reminder that choosing yourself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. It’s about creating space, breathing room, and radical permission to prioritize your needs and growth. Thank you for walking this journey with me, for being part of our warrior community, and for showing up for yourself and each other.

Episode Highlights / Key Takeaways:

Choosing yourself is a skill or personality trait. It’s a practice that comes from small, intentional actions.
Reflection and pausing are just as valuable as action and productivity.
The cracks in our lives aren’t failures; they are opportunities for growth, wisdom, and light.
Community matters: you are not alone in navigating all the things…
Intentions are powerful even if resolutions aren’t perfectly kept; the act of aiming toward growth is what matters.

Let’s Reflect: Take a moment to journal or reflect:

What does “choosing yourself” look like for you right now?
Where in your life can you create more space, permission, or breathing room?
How can you step into the new year with intention, hope, and self-compassion?

Let’s Connect:

Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

“Going Little” Comfort, Joy, and Doing Less

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 18:00:00 -0400

Episode Description:
It’s December. Again. And the end-of-year chaos is real. This episode is your invitation to slow down, find comfort, and embrace joy through the art of going little.

In this episode, we explore the Danish concept of Hygge and I share simple, science-backed practices to help you pause, reset, and reclaim calm during the busiest season of the year. From holding a warm drink to creating a cozy nook, or winding down with an intentional end-of-day ritual, these small, intentional actions are ways to soothe your nervous system and reconnect with yourself.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

How warmth can regulate your nervous system and reduce stress
The power of sensory anchoring to calm your mind
The concept of environmental containment and creating a cozy sanctuary
How to create an End-of-Day Soft Landing for better rest
Why doing less doesn’t mean feeling less or being less

Key Takeaway: Whether it’s holding a warm drink, anchoring yourself in a favorite sensory cue, carving out a cozy nook, or gliding gently into sleep, each of these practices invites intentional ease. Go little. Comfort, joy, and presence are not indulgent; they’re essential.

Resources & References:

The Year of Living Danishly by Helen Russell
The Little Book of Hygge
Yang, Z., Su, Q., Xie, J. et al. Music tempo modulates emotional states as revealed through EEG insights. Sci Rep 15, 8276 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-025-92679-1
Yang, SY., Wang, JY., Liu, C. et al. Effects of binaural beat therapy with different frequencies on autonomic nervous system regulation among college students. BMC Complement Med Ther 25, 206 (2025). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12906-025-04922-x

Listen, Subscribe, Connect!

Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Spend With Intention, Support Women This Holiday Season

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 19:33:26 -0400

Episode Summary

In this powerful episode, Kimberly calls us into a deeper, more intentional approach to the holiday season; one rooted in solidarity, economic empowerment, and supporting women in every space they lead, create, and build.

As the holidays approach and our shopping lists grow, this episode challenges the default: What if your purchases, your recommendations, your shares, and your reviews became part of a larger movement? What if supporting women wasn’t just an act of generosity, but an act of cultural change?

Kimberly explores the real data on women’s economic power, the systemic gaps women entrepreneurs face, the inequities in the creator economy, and the small-but-mighty actions each of us can take to move the needle.

This episode is your guide to:
✨ Women-owned products to explore
✨ Women-led services to consider
✨ How to use directories + simple search tools
✨ Free ways to amplify women on social media
✨ How to leave meaningful reviews
✨ How to support women creators and voices

Your dollars matter, but your voice, influence, and solidarity matter just as much! Let’s make this holiday season one rooted in intention, empowerment, and the collective strength of the per-sisterhood.

Key Topics Covered

· The mental load & invisible holiday labor women carry

· Why supporting women-owned businesses creates real economic impact

· Practical ways to “vote with your wallet” this season

· How to find women-owned businesses (WBENC, W Marketplace, Etsy filters, more)

· Simple, free, high-impact ways to support women on social media

· Why reviews matter more for women founders

· How to back women in the creator economy

· Recommendations as a form of influence and solidarity

Resources Mentioned. Directories + Marketplaces:

· WBENC Women-Owned Business Directory

· SBA WOSB Resources

· NAWBO Member Lists

· The W Marketplace

· Etsy Women-Owned Filter

· Amazon Women-Owned Page

· "Women-owned businesses near me" (Google search, seriously, try it!)

If you discover a women-owned business you love, tag it on Instagram @advancingwomenpodcast so we can amplify it too!

Call to Action

· Share this episode with the women in your life who love supporting women.

· Tell a friend about your favorite women podcasters, creators, and entrepreneurs.

· Post, tag, save, review — it all matters.

· This season, let your spending, your voice, and your influence become part of a cultural shift that amplifies women everywhere.

Let’s Connect:

Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Gratitude Without Guilt: Gratitude on Your Own Terms

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 19:00:00 -0400

As Thanksgiving approaches, we’re reclaiming the true power of gratitude. Not the polished, pressured version women are so often handed. This episode digs into how gratitude has been distorted, weaponized, or used to quiet our very real experiences, and invites you to take it back on your own terms.

In this episode, we discuss:

How “enforced gratitude” becomes emotional dismissal and invalidation
The gendered gratitude gap and why women often give more than they receive
Emotional multiplicity: holding gratitude and struggle at the same time
Reverse gratitude: being thankful for what you released or outgrew
What healthy, self-directed, truthful gratitude actually looks like

Join me for an honest, empowering conversation about gratitude as resistance, empowerment, and restoration.

Key Takeaways:

Gratitude should empower, not silence
You can hold multiple feelings and emotions at once
Letting go can be something to be grateful for
Healthy gratitude is self-directed, grounded, and restorative

Hashtags:
#AdvancingWomenPodcast #GratitudeWithoutGuilt #WomenAndGratitude #EmotionalLabor #ReverseGratitude #WomenEmpowerment #HonestGratitude #HolidayWellness #BoundariesAreBeautiful #ReclaimYourTime #ReclaimYourPeace

Previous episode referenced in this episode:

Advancing Women Podcast. Spotify Weaponized Gratitude & Gratitude Shaming https://open.spotify.com/episode/1CKUwcWxCqGyuieOplP2GP?si=c7ffc86d6c8041e9

Let’s Connect:

Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

The Sensitivity Advantage: Why Feeling Deeply Makes You Powerful

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 18:00:00 -0400

Episode Summary:
In this episode of The Advancing Women Podcast, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone explores the science and social conditioning behind women’s emotional sensitivity, and reframes it more accurately…as a strength, not a flaw.

Research shows that women, on average, have lower baseline serotonin levels than men; but the story doesn’t end there. This biological difference interacts with hormonal cycles and cultural expectations to shape how women feel, respond, and are perceived. Dr. DeSimone reveals how emotional responsiveness, so often dismissed as being “too emotional”, is actually a powerful form of emotional intelligence, leadership, and adaptive strength. From boardrooms to families, women’s ability to read the room, sense tension, and lead with empathy is not “soft,” it’s strategic.

This episode offers both a scientific and empowering reframe that helps us honor our depth, protect our energy, and lead from emotional authenticity without apology.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why women’s serotonin levels affect emotional sensitivity — and what that means for mood and connection.
How cultural conditioning distorts emotional intelligence into “overreaction.”
The “gendered emotion hierarchy”, and how bias defines which emotions are labeled as strength or weakness.
Why empathy and sensitivity are forms of data gatheringand leadership.
How to protect your emotional energy through mindful boundaries and self-compassion.

Key Takeaways:
Sensitivity is strength. Emotional attunement is intelligence.
Emotion is data, not drama.
Boundaries protect your empathy.
Reframing emotional intelligence is revolutionary leadership.

Mentioned concepts:

Serotonin and hormonal influence on mood Gender socialization and emotional labor Emotional intelligence and leadership Patriarchal bias in emotion valuation Mindful self-protection and boundary-setting

#AdvancingWomenPodcast #EmotionalIntelligence #WomenInLeadership #SensitivityIsStrength #GenderBias #EmotionalIntelligenceAtWork #EmpathyInLeadership

References:

Don’t Call Them Soft Skills: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-call-them-soft-skills-with-communications/id1569849100?i=1000606194105

Brain and Behavior Research Foundation (2024). Male-Female Differences in the Serotonin System May Help Explain Differences in Stress Vulnerability, Study Suggests: https://bbrfoundation.org/content/male-female-differences-serotonin-system-may-help-explain-differences-stress-vulnerability National Institute of Health: Differences between males and females in rates of serotonin synthesis in human brain. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC24674/

Let’s Connect:

Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Another Season of the Witch: The Coven of Persisterhood

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 18:00:00 -0300

Episode Summary:
Welcome to the Advancing Women Podcast! In this Halloween-themed episode, we reclaim the witch archetype as a symbol of female power, independence, and solidarity. Building on last year’s Season of the Witch, we explore how the witch reflects the experiences of ambitious women across history and today…from the backlash faced by independent women to the double standards confronting women leaders.

Through media, history, and lived experience, we uncover how witches (and women!) have been feared, misunderstood, and sometimes punished for asserting autonomy. But there’s a bright side: the witch is being reclaimed in fiction, in culture, and in women’s networks, offering a model for persistence, solidarity, and strategic power.

Join us as we dive into:

The historical and modern symbolism of the witch
How autonomy, economic independence, and ambition have provoked backlash across centuries
The parallels between historical witch hunts and modern workplace double standards
The power of covens—real and metaphorical—and what I call persisterhood
Strategies for building networks of support, mentorship, and collective resilience

This episode is a call to embrace your coven, celebrate your independence, and wear your power proudly. Because we are the persisterhood, and our solidarity, creativity, and courage are our most potent magic.

“We are the granddaughters of the witches you weren’t able to burn. Let’s wear that badge proudly.” #covenofpersisterhood #seasonofthewitch #persisterhood #genderbias #leadershipbias #leadership #advancingwomenpodcast #genderequity

Resources & References:

Mona Chollet, In Defense of Witches
Joan Williams, research on the tightrope bias and workplace double standards
Media examples: Wicked, Practical Magic, Marvel’s Agatha Harkness
Historical context: Matilda Joslyn Gage on persecution of witches (Woman, Church and State, 1893)

Connect & Engage:

Subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!

Leave a review or a like on Instagram if this episode resonated with your inner witch!

Follow, and Join the Conversation on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

& Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Where Did Play Go? Reclaiming Your Joyful Self in a Serious World

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 19:00:00 -0300

Episode Summary:
Have you ever felt like a part of yourself got lost along the way? That lighter, playful version of you—the one who laughed without thinking, chased silly ideas, or turned a rainy day into an adventure—quietly slipped away amid responsibilities, deadlines, and endless to-do lists? When was the last time you played just for the joy of it? Not for productivity, not for output…just for YOU?

In this episode of Advancing Women Podcast, I explore the lost art of playfulness and why reclaiming it matters; not just for joy, but for creativity, resilience, connection, and well-being. Drawing inspiration from childhood stories, pop culture, and science-backed research, I’ll share practical strategies to invite play back into your life. #tunein

We’ll discuss:

Why productivity culture and societal pressures often push play aside, especially for ambitious women.
How play actually improves brain function, problem-solving, creativity, and relationships.
Micro-play rituals and imaginative practices you can start today.
How reconnecting with your playful self can reduce stress, spark joy, and strengthen community.

Key Takeaways:

Playfulness is not optional—it’s foundational to thriving.
Shared laughter and playful interactions enhance connection and trust.
Start small: 5 minutes of dancing, doodling, silly voice texts, or gamifying everyday tasks can reignite your playful spirit.
Revisit childhood joys and bring them into adult life intentionally.
Use micro-play rituals to make routine spaces and moments playful and alive.

Resources Mentioned:

Brown, Stuart. Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul.Avery.

Ware, Bronnie. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.Hay House.

Apps / Tools: Habitica. Habitica, https://habitica.com/ and Epic Win. Redwood Games, https://www.redwoodgames.com/epicwin

Let’s Connect:

Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

The feedback trap. When Criticism is Really Bias.

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 19:00:00 -0300

We’ve all heard it: “You’re too controlling.” “You should smile more.” “Maybe if you weren’t so emotional…”

But here’s the truth: not all feedback is created equal. And far too often, what women receive isn’t feedback at all. It’s bias dressed up as “constructive criticism.”

In this episode, we’re tackling a common but often invisible challenge in professional and personal life: feedback that masquerades as growth but is actually bias. We explore how women frequently receive critiques that focus on personality, style, or likability rather than skills or outcomes. Feedback that can drain energy, reinforce double standards, and perpetuate gender bias.

Finally, I share strategies for reframing and resisting biased feedback, so you can protect your confidence and focus on growth that truly matters. If you’ve ever felt like you’re working twice as hard to fix things that were never broken, this episode is for you.

Key Topics Covered:

Feedback vs. bias: How to tell the difference
Competence vs. likability: The damned-if-you-do, doomed-if-you-don’t bind
Joan Williams’ prove-it-again bias and its impact on women’s careers
Vocal fry, uptalk, and other examples of style policing as bias
Practical strategies: reframing biased feedback and pushing back with questions

Manifestatement (Key Takeaway): Biased feedback is not your personal deficit. You are neither broken, nor defective. By reframing and resisting, we reclaim our power, keep the focus on outcomes, and push toward greater equity.

Resources & References:

Williams, J. C., & Dempsey, R. (2014). What works for women at work: Four patterns working women need to know. New York University Press.

Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episode:

Tone Policing, Vocal Fry, & Upspeak (4/7/22) https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/tone-policing-vocal-fry-upspeak/id1569849100?i=1000568796565

TikTok trend example (Is a “top-tier” man just an average woman?) https://www.facebook.com/share/v/17XnA2v6E3/

Let’s Connect:
Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/?hl=en

Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Animal Kingdom’s Painted Dogs and the Case for Collaborative Leadership

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 19:00:00 -0300

Episode Summary:
What can a pack of African painted dogs teach us about leadership and gender equity? A lot more than you might think.

On a recent Disney trip with my son, I hopped on my favorite ride - Kilimanjaro Safari -in one of my favorite parks – Animal Kingdom, and our guide, Kyla, shared something that really caught my attention: painted dogs are the most successful hunters in the animal kingdom with an incredible 85% success rate. Compare that to the so-called “King of the Jungle,” the lion, who is successful only about 20% of the time.

The difference? Not brute force. Not dominance. Not confidence.
The painted dogs’ secret is collaboration. They succeed because an alpha male and alpha female lead together, backed by the entire pack.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we explore:

Why win/win beats win/lose in leadership and equity.
The hidden strengths that are too often overlooked and undervalued.
How McKinsey research proves diverse, collaborative leadership outperforms.
The importance of communal traits like empathy, compassion, and collaboration.
Why the future of leadership looks a lot less like lions, and a lot more like painted dogs.

This episode is a reminder that leadership and equity aren’t about fighting for the biggest piece of the pie. it’s about ditching the scarcity mindset in favor of abundance. Win/Win!

If you lead a team, an organization, or even your own family, this episode will challenge you to rethink leadership and equity, not as competition, but as collaboration. #tunein and discover why the case for gender equity is really the case for better leadership for everyone.

References:
🎧 Advancing Women Podcast (2023, July 17). Gender Equity = Win/Win
Listen here

📊 Hunt, V., Prince, S., Dixon-Fyle, S., & Yee, L. (2020). Diversity Wins: How Inclusion Matters. McKinsey & Company.
Read here

📖 Covey, S. R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Free Press. (See Habit #4: Think Win-Win)

Let’s Connect:
Instagram: @AdvancingWomenPodcast
Facebook: Advancing Women Podcast
LinkedIn: Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

Don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!

The NO Club! Revisiting The Art & Agony of No!

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 18:00:00 -0300

A few years ago, we explored The Art and Agony of No—one of the most popular episodes in the Advancing Women Podcast archive. In this episode, we revisit that topic and dig deeper into why saying no feels so agonizing for women, especially in professional and personal contexts. From social conditioning and workplace biases to household expectations, we explore the forces that keep women overcommitted and undervalued.

Using research, real stories, and practical strategies, we discuss:

The concept of non-promotable work and why women are asked to do it more often—and why we say yes.
How prove-it-again and tightrope biases make saying no feel risky.
The transformative story of the No Club, a collective approach to saying no strategically and confidently.
Actionable ways to start protecting your time, energy, and opportunities, both at work and at home.
A cultural reflection inspired by the movie 9 to 5, showing how little has changed in the fight for workplace balance.

Key Takeaways / Manifestatement:
Your time, your energy, your brilliance are precious. Saying no protects them. This episode is about being intentional, reclaiming your boundaries, and understanding that every no is a doorway to your best yes.

Action Steps for Listeners:

Start Your Own No Club: Set a goal for how many requests you’ll decline this week or month.
Keep a Log: Track your nos to notice patterns and normalize boundary-setting.
Share Your Practice: Encourage friends, colleagues, and family that saying no is strategic, not selfish.

Episode referenced in this episode: The Art and Agony of Saying NO! (8/2/2021) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-and-agony-of-saying-no/id1569849100?i=1000530813744

Let’s Connect @AdvancingWomenPodcast Subscribe, rate, and share the podcast! Follow, and Join the Conversation on: Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ & Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Pick Me’s, Queen Bees, and the Patterns That Persist

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 08:04:49 -0300

Episode Summary: From middle school cliques to corporate boardrooms, patterns of competition, division, and survival strategies among women persist. Here’s the thing though: this isn’t about a flaw in women; it’s about a flawed system. In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we explore the rise of Queen Bee Syndrome and the "Pick-Me" phenomenon, and what pop culture, psychology, and gender bias research reveal about why these patterns exist, and how we can challenge them.

We dig deep into:

The cultural roots of Queen Bee and Pick-Me behaviors
Internalized sexism, patriarchal bargaining, and the male gaze
The myth of women as each other’s worst enemy
Strategies to disrupt toxic narratives and build true solidarity

It’s time to move from scarcity to solidarity, from competition to coalition—and rewrite the narrative with the persisterhood at the center.

Key Takeaways:

“Pick-Me” behavior isn't vanity, it’s often survival in biased systems.
Queen Bee Syndrome isn't about women being mean, it's about navigating tokenism and structural barriers.
Internalized sexism and societal “shoulds” fuel division.
Systemic bias, NOT women, is the root issue.
Solidarity is the antidote to scarcity.

Call to Action: Let’s stop shaming Queen Bees and Pick-Me girls and start fixing the systems that pit women against each other. Let’s write a new chapter grounded in persisterhood, because together, we rise further.

References

AWP Episode referenced in this episode: Tug of War Bias, Tokenism & Queen Bee Syndrome. https://open.spotify.com/episode/75MiOAvyhFje37sDd9Latc?si=RBUK5seNRUa5-6VOZIW8Yw

Rhimes, S. (Writer), & Corn, R. (Director). (2005, May 22). Losing My Religion (Season 2, Episode 27) [TV series episode]. In S. Rhimes (Executive Producer), Grey’s Anatomy. ABC Studios (This is the episode featuring Meredith Grey’s “Pick me. Choose me. Love me.” Speech).

TikTok. (n.d.). #pickmegirl. Retrieved August 6, 2025, from https://www.tiktok.com/tag/pickmegirl

Brown, A. (2023). The Implications of the Queen Bee Phenomenon in the Workplace. Journal of Organizational Culture Communications and Conflict, 27(1).

Wiseman, R. (2002). Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping your daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends, and the new realities of girl world. Crown Publishing Group.

Rudman LA, Goodwin SA. Gender differences in automatic in-group bias: why do women like women more than men like men? J Pers Soc Psychol. 2023, 87(4):494-509. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.87.4.494. PMID: 15491274

Rubin, M., Owuamalam, C. K., Spears, R., & Caricati, L. (2023). A social identity model of system attitudes (SIMSA): Multiple explanations of system justification by the disadvantaged that do not depend on a separate system justification motive. European Review of Social Psychology, 34(2), 203–243 https://doi.org/10.1080/10463283.2022.2046422

Let’s Connect @AdvancingWomenPodcast

Subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!

Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

& Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Eve, the First Sinner? Or Adam, the First Failed Leader?

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 19:14:02 -0300

We’ve all heard the story of Adam and Eve. The so-called “first sin,” the disobedience, the downfall. But what if we’ve been reading it wrong? What if this ancient story isn’t about the first sinner…but the first failed leader?

In this episode, leadership scholar and host Dr. Kimberly DeSimone challenges centuries of patriarchal interpretation by reframing the Genesis narrative through the lens of modern, evidence-based leadership theory. From blame-shifting to moral cowardice, we explore how Adam’s behavior maps onto core leadership failures across five foundational models: Transformational, Servant, Authentic, Adaptive, and Ethical Leadership.

We also examine the enduring harm caused by reading Eve as the source of sin—a misreading that has fueled generations of bias, blame, and the marginalization of women. With insight from feminist and womanist scholars like Phyllis Trible, Renita Weems, and Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza, this episode is a powerful call to reclaim sacred texts in ways that center accountability, equity, and truth.

Key Topics Covered:

Re-examining Genesis 2–3: What the Bible actually says vs. how it’s been taught
How Adam failed as a leader, not just as a man of faith
Applying 5 modern leadership theories to the Eden narrative
The damaging legacy of blaming Eve—and by extension, women—for failure
The power of feminist biblical interpretation and why it matters
How reclaiming this story can lead to more just and equitable leadership today

Biblical References:

Genesis 2:16–17, 2:22, 3:6, 3:12
(The Holy Bible, New Revised Standard Version. Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA, 1989.)

Scholars & Thought Leaders:

Trible, P. (1984). Texts of Terror

Trible, P. (1978). God and the Rhetoric of Sexuality

Elisabeth Schüssler Fiorenza – In Memory of Her (1983)

Renita J. Weems – Just a Sister Away (1988)

Carol Meyers – Discovering Eve (1988)

Harding, S. (1991). Whose Science? Whose Knowledge?: Thinking from Women's Lives

Code, L. (1991). What Can She Know? Feminist Theory and the Construction of Knowledge

My Manifestatement (Key Takeaway): “It’s time to stop interpreting scripture only through the eyes of patriarchy. If we want better leaders, we need better stories—ones that hold power accountable and stop demonizing women to excuse weak leadership.” Let’s Connect @AdvancingWomenPodcast Please subscribe, rate, and share the podcast! It helps more people find the show! Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ & Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Cracks, Courage, and the Light That Gets In

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 19:01:00 -0300

Episode Summary:

In this deeply honest episode of The Advancing Women Podcast, we explore what it means to stop hiding the cracks—and start honoring them. Inspired by Leonard Cohen’s iconic lyric, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in” from his song Anthem (1992), we dig into the cultural and professional pressures that push us all, especially women , toward perfectionism as a form of self-protection.

Through the lens of the Japanese art of Kintsugi—the practice of repairing pottery with gold lacquer, which highlights rather than hides breakage—and the concept of “Prove-It-Again” bias coined by sociologist Joan Williams in her book What Works for Women at Work(2014), this episode invites listeners to see their so-called imperfections not as flaws, but as places of power, healing, and light.

Host Dr. Kimberly doesn’t just speak about vulnerability—she practices it, sharing her own season of struggle and the truth that letting the light in starts with acknowledging - maybe even honoring - the cracks.

In this episode, we unpack:

The cultural myth of perfectionism—and who it really serves
How gender bias reinforces the need to over-perform and under-rest
What Kintsugi and Leonard Cohen’s Anthem can teach us about resilience
Joan Williams’ research on the “Prove-It-Again” bias and how it impacts women at work

References

Williams, Joan C. and Rachel Dempsey. What Works for Women at Work: Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know. New York: New York University Press, 2014. (Chapter on “Prove-It-Again” bias)

Cohen, Leonard. “Anthem.” The Future [Album], Columbia Records, 1992. https://youtu.be/1jzl0NlTmzY?si=S1wUBVh_7sXq_Wj3

Kintsugi: The Japanese Art of Precious Scars. [For readers, a good primer is by Bonnie Kemske, Kintsugi Wellness: The Japanese Art of Nourishing Mind, Body, and Spirit (2020)]

Advancing Women Podcast (Spotify, iTunes) The Progress Principle https://open.spotify.com/episode/73WsiPl2cisLSd5XjZlco5?si=wfiNpNMPQpeWR9Cbl0tcAQ

The Therapeutic Art of Kintsugi: Applying Japanese Pottery Repair Techniques to Personal Healing. Posted in: Mind/Body Medicine, Self-actualization, Spirituality (Guest post by Prudence Sinclair.) https://berniesiegelmd.com/the-therapeutic-art-of-kintsugi-applying-japanese-pottery-repair-techniques-to-personal-healing/

Let’s Connect @AdvancingWomenPodcast

Subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!

Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

“Lazy Days” Summer Shortcuts to More Joy and Less Grind

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 18:00:00 -0300

Episode Summary:
What if the most productive thing you could do this summer… is less?

In this gentle-yet-grounded episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we challenge the pressure to “make the most” of summer by doing more—and instead embrace the science and soul of slowing down. Host, Dr. Kimberly DeSimone offers five simple, evidence-based shortcuts to reclaim moments of real joy, presence, and restoration—without guilt or hustle.

Grounded in psychology and full of permission to pause, this is your gentle invitation to swap striving for savoring, even just for a few minutes a day.

In This Episode, We Explore:

Why summer sometimes feels like a grind (and how to resist it)
The science behind savoring: Attention Restoration Theory + Positive Psychology
The power of micro-rest and ritual for combating burnout
The Broaden-and-Build Theory and how joy makes us stronger
5 liberating shortcuts to lighten the mental load

Here’s a sneak peak! 5 Tiny Summer Shortcuts for More Joy & Less Grind:

Do chores in the sunshine – Boost mood & vitamin D while still getting things done.
Reclaim waiting time – Turn “wasted” minutes into mini-retreats.
Make a ritual, not a routine – Infuse meaning into daily habits.
Go outside for no reason – Unplug, un-goal, and let nature reset your brain.
Say yes to low-stakes joy – Let go of perfection and embrace play.

Manifestatement: You don’t need to escape your life to enjoy your summer. You just need to insert small moments of pause, presence, and play into the life you already have.

Listener Invitation: What does your micro-moment of joy look like?
Tag @AdvancingWomenPodcast on IG or Facebook, or send a message to share how you’re reclaiming rest this summer!

References:

Attention Restoration Theory (Kaplan, 1995)
Broaden-and-Build Theory (Barbara Fredrickson, 1998)
Positive Psychology + the science of savoring
Norton & Gino (2014) on the power of ritual

Let’s Connect @AdvancingWomenPodcast

Subscribe, rate, and share the podcast!

Follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

& Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

DM or tag to share your summer shortcut joy!

More on Dr. DeSimone here! https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Contaminated Leisure: Yep, It Has a Name!

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 19:06:25 -0300

~A follow-up to “Permission to Pause”

If you've ever stepped away to “rest” but came back feeling just as drained, this episode is for you. In this powerful follow-up to Permission to Pause, we name and unpack a concept that deeply resonated with listeners: contaminated leisure — the kind of downtime that looks like rest but still carries the weight of responsibility, guilt, and multitasking. And naming it matters. Because once we recognize what’s happening, we can begin to reclaim the kind of rest that actually restores.

This episode dives deep into:

What contaminated leisure really is
The neuroscience behind why it’s so exhausting
Why ambitious women are especially affected
What the research says about emotional labor and the “leisure gap”
How to reclaim rest as a biological, psychological, and cultural necessity

If rest has ever felt like another item on your to-do list, tune in.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

The origins of the term contaminated leisure and how it shows up in everyday life
Why “just relaxing” often doesn’t work — and how pseudo-recovery tricks our brains
How true rest activates the Default Mode Network (DMN), the brain’s key to meaning-making, emotional regulation, and creativity
How internalized expectations and the "casualty of competence" leave ambitious women especially vulnerable to burnout
Five science-backed strategies to create space for real, uncontaminated rest

Manifestatement: Rest doesn’t make you less ambitious, it makes your ambition sustainable.

#ContaminatedLeisure #RestIsResistance #AmbitiousWomen #PermissionToPause

References Bianchi, S. M., & Mattingly, M. J. (2003). Time, Work, and Family: What Do We Know? Social Forces. Immordino-Yang, M. H. – Research on the brain’s Default Mode Network (DMN) and emotional processing. Shockley, K. M. – Studies on psychological detachment and pseudo-recovery. Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience Hochschild, A. (1989). The Second Shift – On invisible labor and emotional management. For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Permission to Pause: Can We Stop Doing and Just Be for a Minute?

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 18:58:58 -0300

This episode is for the ambitious woman who’s doing it all—and still feels like it’s never enough.

If you’re listening while multitasking—folding laundry, answering emails, or in between Zoom calls—this one’s for you. Dr. KimberlyDeSimone invites you to press pause on the pressure and unpack why we’ve lost the ability to truly rest. With research, real talk, and radical empathy, this episode explores:

The blurred boundaries of remote work and why they’re burning us out
The myth of “productive breaks” and the science behind contaminated leisure
The invisible labor women carry—and why it’s so exhausting
How rest can be resistance, recovery, and a reclaiming of your humanity
A gentle, 3-step invitation to begin unlearning productivity as self-worth

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting, this episode offers both validation and a vision for a more sustainable model of success.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

Contaminated Leisure is real — downtime that isn’t really down leads to depletion, not restoration.
Emotional labor—managing feelings, smoothing tension, anticipating needs—is invisible work that disproportionately falls on women and contributes to burnout.
Rest as Resistance reframes rest as a radical act in a culture that equates productivity with worth.
Guilt isn’t a sign you’re lazy — it’s often a signal you’re doing something different, not something wrong.
Micro-moments of rest matter — true rest doesn’t require a retreat, just your presence.

Research Referenced:

LeanIn.org x McKinsey Report on women and the pandemic’s impact on unpaid labor
Sociology Compass and American Psychological Association studies on gender and contaminated leisure
Arlie Hochschild’s work on emotional labor
Journal of Emotion study linking emotional labor to burnout
Stephen Covey’s "sharpen the saw" philosophy
Dr. Brené Brown’s “never enough” script and shame research✨

Manifestatement: "We are human beings, not human doings. We deserve rest—not because we’ve earned it, but because we are human."~ Dr. Kimberly DeSimone

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should We Care? (March 2023)

Mind the Gap: Between Expectations & Requirements

Mon, 19 May 2025 19:00:00 -0300

Are Your Expectations Really the Problem — or Is That Just What You've Been Told?

Research shows that expectations can be a major source of stress, anxiety, and even the breakdown of trust and respect in our relationships. But let’s challenge the tired narrative that women’s so-called “too high expectations” are to blame.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I flip the script. We take a closer look at the real issue: the difference between expectations (often shaped by social norms and limiting stereotypes) and requirements or standards (which are rooted in self-respect, self-worth, and self-care).

The real question isn’t, “Are my expectations too high?” It’s:
“What do I truly require in my relationships—and why?”

Spoiler alert: You are allowed—encouraged, even—to set clear, healthy standards for how you want and deserve to be treated. This episode is your permission slip to stop shrinking, stop second-guessing, and start owning your requirements unapologetically.

Tune in for a powerful mindset shift—from bending to meet others’ comfort zones to boldly honoring your own. Let’s stop blaming women for wanting more, and start asking why we’ve been taught to settle for less.

Referenced Episodes:

Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023)

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Praise Publicly, Criticize Privately

Mon, 05 May 2025 20:12:03 -0300

In this powerful and timely episode, we explore how feedback—especially public feedback—can have vastly different impacts depending on gender, and why the principle “praise publicly, criticize privately” is more than just good advice—it’s a vital strategy for allyship, equity, and leadership development.

Dr. Kimberly DeSimone shares personal insights from years of academic leadership, backed by compelling research on gender bias in student evaluations, performance reviews, and workplace feedback. This episode uncovers how even well-intentioned critiques can reinforce long-standing stereotypes and disproportionately affect women, particularly those in authority or leadership roles.

From teaching evaluations to performance appraisals, listeners are challenged to think critically about how, where, and why they deliver feedback—and how they can shift their language and delivery to foster fairness, growth, and inclusion for everyone.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

Why feedback given to women is often shaped by unconscious gender norms.
How student evaluations and performance reviews can reflect systemic bias—even unintentionally.
The power of public praise to combat stereotypes and normalize women's success.
How private critique, delivered thoughtfully, fosters psychological safety and growth without reinforcing harmful narratives.
The importance of avoiding gendered labels like “bossy,” “catty,” or “cold,” and replacing them with specific, behavior-based feedback.
Why women are judged on proof while men are judged on potential—and how to interrupt that dynamic.

Key Takeaways:

Bias in feedback is real, often unconscious, and has lasting consequences.
Words matter. The language we use to describe women influences how they are perceived and treated.
Allyship means being intentional. Supporting women means rethinking when, where, and how we give feedback.
Public criticism can reinforce negative stereotypes, while public praise can disrupt them.
Everyone carries unconscious bias. But with awareness, we can shift the culture—one conversation, one evaluation, and one word choice at a time.

Resources Mentioned:

Clare Boothe Luce’s quote on the burden of representation for women.
Research by Joan Williams and the Center for WorkLife Law on gender bias.
MacNell, Driscoll, and Hunt (2015) study on gender in teaching evaluations.

Call to Action:

Think about the last time you gave feedback—what words did you use? Was it public or private? This week, try praising a woman’s work formally and publicly, and if needed, deliver critique privately and constructively. It’s a small change with the potential for big impact. Join the Conversation:

Have a story about feedback—good or bad? Want to share how you’re practicing mindful allyship? Tag us on Instagram @advancingwomenpodcast to keep the conversation going.

Subscribe & Share:

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a colleague or friend who gives or receives feedback. And don’t forget to subscribe for more conversations on advancing women in leadership, work, and beyond. For more information on Dr. DeSimone:

https://recreation.ku.edu/seven-pillars-self-care#

Live What Matters and Let The Rest Go!

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 19:25:04 -0300

We’re constantly reminded to take time for ourselves, to prioritize self-care, to fill our own cup first. These messages are everywhere—but let’s be honest, it’s not always that simple. Life has a way of stacking the deck against us. The expectations never stop piling up. We’re juggling so many responsibilities—personally, professionally, emotionally—and somehow we’re supposed to keep all the balls in the air…with a smile on our face.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I explore the radical idea of accepting the chaos—acknowledging it without judgment—and finding ways to care for ourselves within it. Not after everything is calm. Not when the to-do list is done. Now.

This is about creating a sustainable practice of peace. It’s about showing up with intention, even in the messiness. Being mindful of how we feel, how we move through the world, and the energy we bring into our relationships and spaces.

Let’s talk about the small but powerful ways we can nurture our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being—especially when life feels anything but peaceful.

References:

The Blissful Mind website https://theblissfulmind.com/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Walking in an Autism Mom’s Shoes: The Gift of Empathy

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 18:00:00 -0300

Want to know how you can truly support family or friends raising a child with autism? This episode is for you. With April being Autism Awareness Month, it’s the perfect time to learn about what really matters.

Studies show that mothers of children with autism experience stress and depression levels on par with those of active combat soldiers. In this episode, we dive into the importance of awareness, empathy, and practical ways you can offer meaningful support. These are the things autism moms wish you understood, and this episode shares how you can show up for them.

Tune in to the Advancing Women Podcast to hear from autism moms about our experiences and what you can say or do to offer the empathy and support we need.

"No matter how confident we seem, we are scared all the time. No matter how energetic or enthusiastic we seem, we are exhausted all the time. No matter how together we seem, we often feel like we’re barely surviving. No matter how easy we make it look… it’s so freaking hard every day.” #tunein For more information on Dr. Kimberly DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Trailblazing Women: Timeless Words of Wisdom for Women's History Month

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 19:21:33 -0300

In this episode, we celebrate Women’s History Month with words of wisdom from many powerful, brilliant, and inspiring women. Their poignant quotes provide lasting insight and inspiration for all women as we continue to work towards gender equity for all.

These quotes and the resulting discussion come from a variety of women including women of color, women from the LGBTQ community, and women from countries across the globe. The quotes go as far back as the 1700s through current day. This is about the voice and inspiration of ALL women. From Abigail Adams, Susan B. Anthony and Lucrecia Mott to Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Audre Lorde, to Doria Shafik, Raicho Hiratsuka, and Simone de Beauvoir to Maya Angelou and Emma Watson – you won’t want to miss this inspiration and insight FROM warrior women, FOR warrior women. #womenshistorymonth

For more information on Dr. Kimberly DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

The Progress Principle

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 19:00:00 -0300

In today’s episode, I dive deep into the feeling of being overwhelmed and constantly busy, despite our best efforts to manage our time better. I share some personal reflections on how to take back control of our time and the importance of making small progress in our personal and professional lives. I explore the concept of The Progress Principle, backed by science, and how small wins can lead to greater momentum and motivation. It's a journey of intentionality — where it's not about doing more or being perfect, but about creating consistent, small steps toward progress that lead to greater satisfaction and fulfillment.

Key Themes Discussed in this Episode:

The Overwhelm Trap: Despite making efforts to reclaim our time, many of us feel overwhelmed with the constant demands of life. The question arises: How can we create more time for ourselves while feeling less burdened?
The Power of Saying YES to Ourselves: Often, we focus on saying no to others to protect our time. But maybe it's time to say yes to ourselves — add intentional actions that help us feel more in control of our lives.
The Science Behind Progress: Drawing from The Progress Principle by Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer, I explore how small, incremental progress in meaningful tasks can positively impact our well-being, creativity, and motivation.
Breaking the Cycle of Inaction: How can we avoid feeling stuck or paralyzed by the magnitude of our goals? Small wins matter, and a little forward motion can help us build momentum.
Small Actions, Big Impact: I share simple, actionable steps like focusing on small goals, celebrating wins, and creating a sustainable approach to maintaining momentum. It’s about making a little bit of progress each day — whether it's spending 10 minutes on a task, having a brief conversation with a friend, or carving out time for self-care.

The key to overcoming overwhelm and reclaiming your time isn’t necessarily about doing more or perfecting everything. It's about taking small, intentional actions that gradually build momentum and foster a sense of accomplishment. If we can apply The Progress Principle in our own lives, we'll feel more in control, less overwhelmed, and more motivated to move forward — one small step at a time. #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:

The Conversation https://theconversation.com/keep-an-eye-on-vocal-fry-its-all-about-power-status-and-gender-45883#:~:text=Vocal%20fry%20is%20a%20distinct,of%20belonging%20in%20that%20tribe

Oh, The Joy of Missing Out!

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 14:52:35 -0400

What if we could turn FOMO (the fear of missing out) into JOMO (the JOY of missing out)? In this episode of the #AdvancingWomenPodcast join me in exploring how embracing the freedom to say “no” can help us prioritize us and our time.

JOMO isn’t about scaling back on ambition or motivation, it’s about intentionally focusing our time and energy on what truly brings us both achievement and joy. It’s about creating balance. #tunein to discover how to shift from the fear of missing out to the joy of missing out. JOMO could be the perfect antidote to FOMO, offering peace and fulfillment without the anxiety of feeling left behind. It encourages being fully present in the moment and appreciating the activities you're engaged in, rather than comparing them to what others are doing. #podcast

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/
https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

References

https://aninjusticemag.com/whom-do-you-love-your-mother-or-her-sacrifices-a951be29f352

https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/fomo/articleshow/62550811.cms

Fajar Kusnadi Kusumah Putra. (2019). Emerging Travel Trends: Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) Vs Iconic Landmarks. Jurnal Pariwisata Terapan, 3(1), 17–33. https://doi.org/10.22146/jpt.49273

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201807/jomo-the-joy-missing-out

https://www.psycom.net/fomo-to-jomo

Black History Month: Historic Black Women's Voices

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 19:00:00 -0400

February is Black History Month, an annual celebration to honor the remarkable achievements of African Americans and acknowledge their pivotal contributions to U.S. history. Throughout this journey, African American women have often been overlooked, despite playing a central role in the ongoing fight for gender equity.

This episode celebrates and highlights the powerful voices of courageous Black women, past and present, who have dedicated their lives to creating a more just and equitable world. Tune in for a profound conversation filled with the wisdom and inspiration of these incredible women, whose words continue to carry immense power and make a lasting impact! #tunein to the #advancingwomenpodcast to celebrate Black History Month and honor the invaluable insights of brilliant Black women, including Sojourner Truth, Shirley Chisholm, Bell Hooks, Pauli Murray, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou, and many more!

References:

Hooks, B. (1981). Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism. Chicago

Hooks, B. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge, MA: South End Press

About Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/20/18542843/intersectionality-conservatism-law-race-gender-discrimination

Sojourner Truth’s Ain’t I a Woman Speech (read by Dr. Maya Angelou) https://youtu.be/mM4JjuQeqDA

Truth, S. (Original Speech, 1851) https://thehermitage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sojourner-Truth_Aint-I-a-Woman_1851.pdf

For more information on Dr. DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:

Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Stop Policing How Women Talk

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 19:56:33 -0400

If you feel like your “tone” and level of emotion are being policed, #tunein because this is the #advancingwomenpodcast episode for you!

Scrutiny of women’s speaking patterns is the latest frontier in an endless barrage of judgment and undermining women face. It is yet another way to blame women. An attempt to shift the emphasis to fixing women versus doing the hard work of fixing #genderbias

Tone policing (when someone focuses on how something is said, rather than what is actually being said) often involves critiquing the emotional tone, volume, or manner of speaking, rather than addressing the substance of the message itself. This can be a way to dismiss or silence someone, especially when their words challenge the status quo or express frustration, anger, or vulnerability.

In essence, it shifts the conversation away from the content of the message to the way it's delivered, often in a way that reinforces power imbalances.

We need to recognize tone policing and comments about upspeak and vocal fry for what they truly are…not a peeve that needs to be professionally developed away but rather, an attempt to silence women. At its core, this policing is about power and status, and who is allowed to have it. Tune in to see how we can learn to recognize and interrupt these bias patterns and put the kibosh on this new version of the tired “fix the women” narrative.

As always, it’s not your fault, but it is your problem, so don’t miss this episode to learn more about tone policing, upspeak, and vocal fry and how to put the kibosh on this new “fix the women” narrative.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

References:

Business Inside Men Use Upspeak and Vocal Fry Too https://www.businessinsider.com/men-use-upspeak-and-vocal-fry-too-2015-8

NPR From Upspeak To Vocal Fry: Are We 'Policing' Young Women's Voices? https://www.npr.org/2015/07/23/425608745/from-upspeak-to-vocal-fry-are-we-policing-young-womens-voices

Time https://time.com/5006345/what-is-vocal-fry/

Upworthy https://www.upworthy.com/what-is-vocal-fry-and-why-doesnt-anyone-care-when-men-talk-like-that

Examples of male vocal fry

https://the-toast.net/2015/07/22/examples-of-male-vocal-fry/

A New Year, or Just Another Year?

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 19:19:11 -0400

Moving from one calendar year to the next doesn't automatically result in personal growth or transformation. Without making changes to the way we think and behave, we’re unlikely to experience any significant improvement or progress, no matter how much time passes.

As author James Clear says…we don’t rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems. And too often, the systems we try to succeed in weren’t designed by or for us. In this Advancing Women Podcast episode we deconstruct the barriers that get in the way of our success. It’s all about what you think, what you know, and what you do, so #tunein and learn how to change the game (rather than playing their game) with strategies that better serve you.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88

https://www.instagram.com

Let’s Make 2025 a year for daring greatly!

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 10:37:23 -0400

We live in a world designed largely by and for men and men's pursuits. Research shows that women - even working full time - almost always take on the lion's share of home responsibilities and most of the emotional labor in our families. If you are bogged down in the unnoticed, unappreciated work and feel like your time and goals are deprioritized or derailed, you’ll want to #tunein to this episode!

It’s your time! Let's let 2025 be a year for prioritizing our bold goals. Together, let's get unstuck, start the thing, and overcome resistance! There is NOT an expiration on our goals, but we must get comfortable prioritizing our needs and goals. The Advancing Women Podcast can help! Things will NEVER not be busy. You will never likely find that elusive “more time” and there is no “perfect time.” But it can be YOUR time!

Warriors, you were meant to have bold, audacious, meaningful goals! In this episode I talk about WHY we should have BOLD, RADICAL, AUDACIOUS goals and how to recognize and overcome the internal and external barriers that keep us from moving towards our goals.

Episodes referenced in this episode:

Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290

Teach Girls Bravery AND Teach Boys Empathy https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/lets-teach-girls-bravery-and-teach-boys-empathy/id1569849100?i=1000576175167

Conquering Resistance https://advancingwomenpodcast.podbean.com/e/conquering-resistance/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast visit

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Why you shouldn’t always give 100%

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 21:38:05 -0400

Instead of always aiming for 100%, how about focusing on balance? How about embracing progress over perfection?

The "all or nothing" mindset, always pushing to give 100%, may actually be standing in the way of living our best lives. Consider this your permission to let go of this unnecessary pressure and reject the constant brainwashing.

During this hectic time of year, it’s easy to feel like life is nothing more than an endless to-do list. This #newepisode is all about breaking that cycle. Life is messy and imperfect, and sometimes doing what we can—rather than striving for perfection—is not only enough, but it also creates the space we need to pause and prioritize. Let’s embrace progress over perfection and make room for peace, comfort, and joy.

Previous episodes referenced in this episode:

Advice to my 20-Something Self https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/advice-to-my-20-something-self/id1569849100?i=1000665941516

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Complicated Girls Suck with Dr. Tara Walker

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 19:26:13 -0400

Have you ever been written off as too complicated? Too emotional? These labels may not seem like a big deal, but they can serve as a way to push aside our difficulties or invalidate our feelings. If you have ever felt not enough AND too much all at once, then this is the episode for you!

Having your emotions policed is not a healthy experience. Being gaslighted is not a healthy experience. In this episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast I am here with Dr. Tara Walker to detangle and deconstruct the complicated woman stereotype. #tunein

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tara-walker-phd-2b99008

For more about Dr. Tara Walker

https://www.sbu.edu/academics/faculty/walker-tara-g

https://taragracewalker.com/

Supporting Women Creators This Holiday Season (and Beyond!)

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 20:06:36 -0400

As we approach the holidays, this episode is a call to action. I encourage us all to think more intentionally about the choices we make with our dollars and our time. As women, we hold a great deal of consumer power, and this is a great time to wield that power in the support of other women.

I’m talking about women creators, entrepreneurs, women-owned businesses, and businesses that support women! The holiday season is a great time to be intentional in our actions. It is an opportunity to #support #amplify and #investinwomen

This #newepisode is about #warriorwomen coming together to champion one another's artistic, entrepreneurial, creative projects. Let’s help increase the visibility of creators and celebrate #womensachievments #womensupportingwomen is #powerful #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast #persisterhood #womensupportingwomen

For more on the creators highlighted in this episode:

Anna Michele Bulszewicz

AMC Weekly Newsletter https://www.annamcommunications.com/blog

3 Cs Mindfully Speaking Model https://www.annamcommunications.com/new-page-1

Jen Lefforge (Joyful Living with Jen Lefforge)

https://www.youtube.com/@JoyfulLivingwithJenLefforge

https://jenlefforge.com/

https://jenlefforge.com/all-of-my-posts/

Heather Lynn Harris

https://heatherlynnharris.com/

Something to Sing About https://heatherlynnharris.com/books/

Links to previous podcasts mentioned in this episode:

Mindful Communication with Anna Bulszewiczhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mindful-communication/id1569849100?i=1000675707131

Delivering Big Creativity with Heather Lynn Harris https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/delivering-big-creativity-small-steps-practices/id1569849100?i=1000647147881

A Grown Up Gap Year with YouTuber Jen Lefforge https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-grown-up-gap-year-with-youtuber-jen-lefforge/id1569849100?i=1000654737177

Mindful Communication

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 22:33:50 -0400

#tunein for this dynamic and pragmatic interview on mindful communication and emotional intelligence with communications strategist Anna Bulszewicz. We dive deep into communication, community, and connection. Let’s stop calling communication skills and emotional intelligence "soft skills.” These are ESSENTIAL skills that women tend to be exceptionally good at, so let’s make sure we are acknowledging, owning, honing, and touting these super skills! Podcast referenced in this episode (Let’s teach girls bravery and teach boys empathy)

iTunes https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/lets-teach-girls-bravery-and-teach-boys-empathy/id1569849100?i=1000576175167

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/10oW7FgzU65qrJ5JAsMDrc?si=gCQUw6hxR7GtYpP_f1r2TA

For more info on Anna Bulszewicz and Anna Michele Communications (AMC):

Website: https://www.annamcommunications.com/

Blog: https://www.annamcommunications.com/blog/woman

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annabulszewicz/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

The Season of the Witch

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 20:09:11 -0300

“We are the granddaughters of the witches you weren't able to burn”

~ Tish Thawer, The Witches of Blackbrook

#tunein to this #newepisode of the Advancing Women Podcast where in this #Halloween season, we set aside our stereotypical descriptions and depictions of witches, and instead look to appreciate, how generations of activists have reclaimed the witch archetype to resist patriarchal control and stand up to injustice. Let the Season of the Witch symbolize our warrior power and resistance.

This episode explores the witch ethos, and how we can point to witch hunts as defining moments of injustice, sexism, and misogyny. It’s about the historical context of witch hunts in terms of the societal attitudes and beliefs that fueled the persecution of women. How accusations of witchcraft were used as a way to control and suppress women who defied traditional gender roles…and how we still tend to see and treat powerful women today.

References:

Joan Williams Tightrope Bias https://gender.stanford.edu/news/what-works-women-work

Tightrope Bias & the Likability Dilemma https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546

In Defense of Witches: The Legacy of the Witch Hunts and Why Women Are Still on Trial by Mona Chollet https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250272225/indefenseofwitches

The Witches of Blackbrook by Tish Thawer http://www.tishthawer.com/the-witches-of-blackbrook.html

Donovan Season of the Witch https://youtu.be/GU35oCHGhJ0?si=F8NoU831_jbOvVJ5

Lana Del Rey Season of the Witch https://youtu.be/tQbTyeTMa4M?si=ipH-192TJ56m4gCI

Joan Jett Season of the Witch https://youtu.be/YKYcGFexI6U?si=ajHLtwfr9R7Lt7Mq

Emotional Intelligence: An Antifragility Mindset

Mon, 07 Oct 2024 21:14:05 -0300

“The wind extinguishes a candle and energizes fire.” ~Taleb (2014)

In this episode, I’m talking about Antifragility, a concept even more powerful than resiliency and grit. It’s about overcoming. Harnessing the wind and being the fire that is energized.

As Nietzsche (and Kanye) have said…that that don’t kill me…can only make me stronger…”

Antifragility, resilience, and grit are valuable tools in combating gender inequity so we can transcend and thrive. Despite the barriers that create an unlevel playing field for far too many talented, highly qualified women, it is possible that WE can have the last word in the end if we adopt an antifragility mindset.

#tunein to harness your emotional intelligence superpowers!

#antifragility #grit #resilience #transcend #thrive

Reference

The 4Ps Advancement Model™ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

Nassim Nicholas Taleb (2014) Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder. Random House Publishing

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

https://beckymollenkamp.com/weaponized-gratitude/

Weaponized Gratitude & Gratitude Shaming

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 18:00:00 -0300

Do you ever feel guilty for not feeling more grateful? Guess what? This is a classic example of “it’s not your fault, but it is your problem.”

Have you noticed an increase in using positivity and gratitude as a means of control and superiority? A weaponizing of gratitude where it’s being wielded to minimize someone's experience? In this episode, we explore weaponized gratitude and gratitude shaming. Our feelings are valid! No problem is "too small to matter” and being told to be "grateful” when we are upset isn’t helpful or kind, it’s manipulative and invalidating.

“Enforced gratitude is weaponized gratitude. It's not helpful and, very often, it's harmful. So, let's start opting out.” ~Becky Mollenkamp

We are human beings, not squirrels. We are complex, and beautifully complicated, and can feel many things simultaneously. Gratitude is powerful, but it is a gift we give ourselves. It’s a tool for creating inner peace, not a weapon to be wielded by others to manipulate our feelings or behaviors. Let’s dive into this important and timely topic.

#newepisode #tunein #weaponizedgratitude #gratitudeshaming

Reference

https://susanarinderle.medium.com/be-grateful-but-dont-weaponize-gratitude-fe3e09157264

https://www.talklife.com/post/let-s-talk-about-gratitude-shaming

Previous podcast episode referenced in this episode

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/toxic-positivity-versus-mental-contrasting/id1569849100?i=1000577719994

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88

Comparison is Kryptonite, Let’s Ditch It!

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 00:08:58 -0300

In this episode, we talk about social comparison and how we can fall into the trap of valuing our personal and social worth by assessing how we compare to others. Whether it is an upward or downward comparison, if we allow comparison of others to dictate how we view our own lives it can steal our joy. Comparison is a Kryptonite that often makes us want more while simultaneously seeing ourselves as less. “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms” ~Zen Shin

#tunein to this episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast to learn how to ditch comparison and stop allowing it to steal our joy.

Podcast episodes referenced in this episode:

Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290&l=fr-FR

Toxic Positivity https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/toxic-positivity-versus-mental-contrasting/id1569849100?i=1000577719994&l=fr-FR

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Advice To My 20-Something Self!

Mon, 26 Aug 2024 18:00:00 -0300

I’m practicing what I preach in this episode and offering myself some grace. Enjoy a reposting (with a new introduction) of one of my most popular, and most downloaded episodes ever. It’s all about 50/20 vision…what advice in my 50s would I give my 20-something self?

We've all heard the adage “Hindsight is 20/20”. It's an expression that suggests it's easier to understand something after it has already happened, that we have a level of clarity when we look back at a situation, event, or decision.

This episode in from November 2021 and was my 25th episode (crazy now that we’re 100 plus episodes in!) and it dropped on my 50th birthday. It’s all about the wisdom and clarity that comes with being in our 50s. What my 50-year-old self wishes my 20-year-old self knew. I invited my two best friends, my most trusted warrior tribe to join me on what ended up being an incredible group mentoring session. It’s a combined 150 years of experience navigating the biases and barriers we as warrior women face.

We talk about choosing what serves you and leaving the rest behind, embracing fear, holding on loosely, learning versus unlearning, having an “AND” mindset versus either or, and so much more. “Be humble enough to learn the rules, thoughtful enough to evaluate how the rules serve you, and brave enough to break the rules.”

Whether in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, this episode is for you!

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.lifehack.org/500575/a-letter-to-my-50-year-old-self-on-grace-and-getting-older

Reference:

When Dads Do What Moms Do

Mon, 12 Aug 2024 18:00:00 -0300

How often are you asked, “How do you juggle it all?” If you’re a working mom, the answer is probably OFTEN. If you’re a working dad, the answer is probably NEVER. Research confirms that dads working outside the home are often praised for being good fathers while moms who work outside the home are often judged.

If you’ve ever felt frustrated at how dads get a pat on the back whenever they are out with their kids, while moms often get judged, this episode will hit home! It’s time to detangle having it all from DOING it all!

We should all be outraged by the disparity in expectations that can create more work for moms and minimize the incredibly vital role fathers play. Let’s interrupt that gender-biased default because it’s not good for women, it’s not good for men, and it’s not good for families. #tunein

References:

https://www.thelily.com/my-husband-and-i-are-equal-partners-why-does-he-get-so-much-more-credit-for-parenting/

https://www.npr.org/2014/07/08/329804378/why-arent-men-asked-if-they-can-have-it-allhttps://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/

https://www.scarymommy.com/dads-get-more-praise-doing-everyday-things

https://www.tlc.com/parenting/dads-are-happier-than-moms--study-says--but-its-not-that-simple

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

References

https://aninjusticemag.com/whom-do-you-love-your-mother-or-her-sacrifices-a951be29f352

https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/fomo/articleshow/62550811.cms

Emerging Travel Trends: Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) Vs Iconic Landmarks | Putra | Jurnal Pariwisata Terapan (ugm.ac.id)

The Joy of Missing Out!

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 18:00:00 -0300

Warriors, do you ever feel like no matter how many productivity techniques you master there is always more to do than you can ever accomplish in the time you have available? So much effort and attention to be productive…often chasing the holy grail of maximizing our productivity. And what about FOMO? The fear of missing out on events, experiences, or life decisions that could make our lives better. The irony is that the exact opposite tends to be true. Research shows FOMO can lead to extreme dissatisfaction and negatively affect our physical and mental health.

FOMO can be exacerbated by social media which creates a constant, instantaneous window into the lives of others…all the achievements and high points of others are posted daily. And even though we know that social media doesn't give a full and accurate picture of people's lives…even though we get that it's more like a movie trailer or a highlight reel of other's good times…it can create a false reality that negatively impacts us nonetheless.

Enter JOMO – the JOY of missing out. JOMO just may be the direct anecdote to FOMO. It is the joy, the pleasure, rather than regret, derived from living quietly and independently without feeling anxious that we are missing out on exciting or interesting events that may be happening elsewhere. Find out more about this purposeful, intentional strategy. #tunein

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201807/jomo-the-joy-missing-out

https://www.psycom.net/fomo-to-jomo

Fashion is for everyBODY!

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 18:00:00 -0300

Did you know that research shows we tend to dress the way we feel? If we feel sad or unmotivated, we are more likely to wear unflattering clothing. But here’s some good news, we can also feel the way we dress! Fashion is one of the most visible ways we can express ourselves and increasingly there's a movement to make fashion more playful and inclusive.

Maybe it’s time this summer to have some fun and rethink the fashion choices we are making. Are we picking colors and patterns we love, or wearing black because it’s most “flattering”? Ready to ditch hiding in favor of expressing through fashion? Don’t miss this discussion with body-positive fashion influencer Veronic Freund. All of us warrior women deserve to step into our power and feel fashionable and confident in clothes that makes us feel playful, sexy, and beautiful!

Resources:

To learn more about Veronica:

https://veronicafreund.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/@veronicafreund

https://www.instagram.com/veronica_freund87/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://recreation.ku.edu/seven-pillars-self-care#

Calm in the Chaos

Mon, 01 Jul 2024 18:00:00 -0300

Take time for yourself…take time for self-care…fill your cup. We hear this all the time, but the reality is that things often work against you. All the expectations…the balls we’re meant to juggle, all at once and never drop. Oh…and keep smiling.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I explore the radical acceptance of the chaos in our lives and talk about how we can care for ourselves, in small ways, regularly. It’s about creating a practice for peace, even in difficult moments, and being mindful and intentional in how we show up, the experience others have with us, and the energy we bring. Let’s talk about the small ways we can maintain our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being, even in the chaos.

Show References:

The Blissful Mind website https://theblissfulmind.com/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

It’s Not a Women’s Ambition Gap, It’s an Ambition Penalty!

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 21:24:50 -0300

Coming off of last week's episode addressing the assault on women’s ambition, I wanted to explore ambition and the backlash women experience in more detail in this episode with special guest nationally recognized money expert, Stephanie O'Connell Rodriguez Does the workplace constantly make you question yourself? Ever had an offer rescinded when you tried to negotiate for more money? Ever been told to speak up but when you do, you face consequences? Ever feel like ambitious men are celebrated while ambitious women are criticized and experience backlash? Tired of the backlash, blame, and gaslighting? Then you won’t want to miss this episode!

Learn more about Stephanie O’Connell and the ambition penalty here: https://tooambitious.com/about/ https://www.instagram.com/stefanieoconnell/ For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.psychedmommy.com/blog/invisible-load-motherhood

Stop Blaming Women’s Ambition: Debunking Butker

Mon, 03 Jun 2024 21:16:20 -0300

Most of you have probably seen or at least heard about the commencement speech from NFL kicker Harrison Butker. This #newepisode doesn’t cover everything he said. Still, I cover the comments that are in my lane…in the areas of gender equity and women’s experiences in the workforce and the home. Let’s explore the “diabolical lie” that Butker asserts women have fallen for. Women’s ambition is, yet again…in the hot seat!

Are women choosing careers over family, and if so, why? Are men choosing not to marry or even date? Are our expectations too high? Should we set aside our workforce ambition and focus on marriage and children? Can we have it all?

These questions and so much more will be examined and dissected to see if they hold up against what the science tells us. You don’t want to miss this one! #tunein #advancingwomenpodcast

References:

Advancing Women Podcast. Young men are opting out of marriage. Should we care? https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-men-are-opting-out-of-marriage-and/id1569849100?i=1000604015537

Forbes: What women want ranking. https://www.forbes.com/2010/05/26/what-do-women-want-in-husband-forbes-woman-well-being-marriage_slide.html?sh=7c248933b11b

Pew Research (2024) https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/15/among-young-adults-without-children-men-are-more-likely-than-women-to-say-they-want-to-be-parents-someday/

News & Observer. Husbands, wives more likely to cheat if they depend on spouse for money. https://www.newsobserver.com/living/article22790805.html#storylink=cpy

Why is Mom So Angry? I’m Glad You Asked!

Mon, 20 May 2024 21:46:50 -0300

It’s May, a month we celebrate moms and a great time to touch base about how we are feeling about things. If you sometimes find yourself feeling undervalued, unseen, and underappreciated, this episode is for you.

Research shows most women, especially moms, have been socially conditioned to do for others. To always prioritize and meet everyone’s needs. We face societal and familial expectations of selflessness, ensuring everybody stays comfortable and happy. We are meant to make sure everything gets done and to do it without complaint.

But what happens when the constant juggling of to-do’s, the emotional and mental labor, and the lack of feeling valued start to take a toll? How do we tackle the frustration and the resentment that bubbles up? When we are emotionally exhausted, spiritually fatigued, and feeling undervalued for long enough, we can find ourselves enduring rather than thriving…missing out on the joy (and rest) we deserve.

Guess what though…you are not alone! #tunein to learn more about emotional labor, spiritual fatigue, and just maybe, to get the empathy and acknowledgement you need.

Reference:

Hartley, G. (2018) Fed Up: Emotional labor, women, and the way forward.

Laporte, D. (2014) The Fire Starter Sessions: A Soulful + Practical Guide to Creating Success on Your Own Terms.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201807/the-invisible-mom

https://the-toast.net/2015/07/13/emotional-labor/?src=longreads

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

A Grown Up Gap Year With #Youtuber Jen Lefforge

Mon, 06 May 2024 19:41:41 -0300

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you could do anything? What if you took a grown-up gap year to figure it out? That’s just what my guest Jen Lefforge did. That is how, at age 46, after a 25-year career, and after raising 3 sons, she took a year off to find out what she wanted to be when she grew up. That grown-up gap year resulted in her current day job as a professional content creator and full-time #YouTuber who makes a living documenting her travels, adventures, and the art of joyful living to her community of more than 80K subscribers! www.youtube.com/joyfullivingwithjenlefforge

Too often, as women, we hear that our best years are behind us once we get into our 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond, so I am passionate about telling the stories of women of a big age (as Jen likes to say!) who are crushing it and doing new and unexpected things.

As women we tend to follow a less linear path, more of what researchers call a Kaleidoscope Career Model (KCM). The kaleidoscope is a perfect metaphor for how we alter our careers in response to changing needs. Whether the need is for authenticity, balance, or ever-changing family needs, we as women are often rotating priorities.

This episode explores the journey and the possibilities that can be ours if we take the time to dig deep, reflect, and take a chance! You don’t want to miss this episode with @jenlefforge

Find the fabulous Jen Lefforge here:

YouTube. Joyful Living with Jen Lefforge www.youtube.com/joyfullivingwithjenlefforge

Website: Jenlefforge.com

Instagram @jenlefforge

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.bizjournals.com/buffalo/news/2023/07/13/women-of-influence-2023-honorees.html

Reference:

Sullivan, S. E., & Carraher, S. M. (2022). The kaleidoscope career model. In Oxford research encyclopedia of business and management.

Mainiero, L. A., & Gibson, D. E. (2018). The kaleidoscope career model revisited: How midcareer men and women diverge on authenticity, balance, and challenge. Journal of Career Development, 45(4), 361-377

Career Advice From Women of Influence

Mon, 22 Apr 2024 19:49:49 -0300

Too often the advice given to women doesn’t work because it wasn’t designed by or for women. In this episode, we share advice from inspirational women of influence. We break it down and talk about what advice serves us, and what advice…seemingly well-meaning, might lead to unintended consequences.

Should we always give 100% in everything we do? Should we bring our authentic selves always? Should we only do work we love? Maybe, maybe not. #Tunein and we’ll break it all down. With a special guest, the very wise Heather Harris https://heatherlynnharris.com/ Episodes of the Advancing Women Podcast referenced in this episode:

Fear of Failure https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290

Center Coach Create™ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/advice-that-works-for-women-center-coach-create/id1569849100?i=1000641765074

Reference

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

What Autism Moms Need: Empathy & Understanding

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 18:00:00 -0300

Want to know what you can do to show support for your family or friends who have a child with autism? This is the episode for you. April is autism awareness month so here are some things to be aware of.

Research shows that mothers of children with autism have elevated levels of depression and stress levels comparable to the stress levels of active combat soldiers! This episode is about awareness, acknowledgment, empathy, and small ways YOU can show your support. This is what moms of children with autism want people to know, so don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to better understand the experience of autism moms and what you can say and do to show empathy and support.

“No matter how confident we seem, we are scared all the time. No matter how energetic or enthusiastic we seem, we are exhausted all the time. No matter how together we seem, we often feel like we're barely surviving. No matter how easy, we might make it look…it is so freaking hard every day.”

Reference:

Twin Cities Mom Collective (March 2022). My Secret World as an Autism Mom. https://twincitiesmom.com/my-secret-world-autism-mom/

Recker, L., & Babcock, E. (2021). Parent/Caregiver Burnout with Autism Due to COVID.

Seltzer, M. M., Greenberg, J. S., Hong, J., Smith, L. E., Almeida, D. M., Coe, C., & Stawski, R. S. (2010). Maternal cortisol levels and behavior problems in adolescents and adults with ASD. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(4), 457–469. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0887-0

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Ideal Leadership: Out of the Darkness

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 18:00:00 -0300

Which leadership traits are ideal and who decides? How important are confidence and assertiveness versus interpersonal sensitivity and empathy?

Are we better off with the relaxed, caring, leader who strives to “do it harmoniously,” or the motivated, inspirational leader who strives to “do it together”? The logical, cautious leader who strives to “do it right,” or the determined, competitive leader who strives to “do it now”?

Which traits are associated with positive outcomes, and which are associated with negative outcomes? Emerging research is showing that it is time to reexamine a broken system that constantly praises traits that can lead to dark leadership, exploitativeness, and abuse of power.

Is much of the advice we give women to help them advance serving to snuff out the very traits we should be valuing in women AND men?

#Tunein to this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to learn more about ideal leadership traits. From the Dark Triad of #narcissism #Machiavellianism and #psychopathy to #emotional intelligence, this episode covers it all!

Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode:

Fear of Failure: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290

Tightrope Bias & The Likeability Dilemma: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546

References

Catalyst. (2020, June 15). Empathy in the Workplace: The Key to Stronger Relationships, Collaboration, and Employee Performance. Retrieved from https://www.catalyst.org/reports/empathy-work-strategy-crisis

Delgado, K. (2021). The dark traits of leadership and how to avoid them. Fast Company.

Furtner, M. R., Maran, T., & Rauthmann, J. F. (Eds.). (2019). Dark Leadership: The Role of Leaders’ Dark Triad Personality Traits. Springer International Publishing.

Nichols, A. L. (2016). What do people desire in their leaders? The effect of leadership experience on desired leadership traits. Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 37(5), 658-671.

Simha, A., & Parboteeah, K. P. (2020). The big 5 personality traits and willingness to justify unethical behavior—a cross-national examination. Journal of Business Ethics, 167, 451-471.

Taylor, S. (2022, March 15). Out of the Darkness. The Danger of Dark Triad Leaders. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/202203/the-danger-dark-triad-leaders

Agaragimova, E. (2022). Women May Make Better Leaders Than Men: Science Shows Feminine Leadership Qualities. Pew Research Center

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Silence the Inner Saboteur & Rise Above the Resistance

Mon, 11 Mar 2024 22:25:50 -0300

Do you ever find yourself working on anything and everything but the thing that you should be working on? This episode addresses the inner saboteur and all the things that create resistance and interfere with your creativity and purpose.

“Whenever you're feeling bored, bummed, or broken resistance is winning in your life.” ~ Mel Robbins

Resistance is anything that stops you from taking creative action, things like inner fears, negative self-talk, ego, and self-doubt. Resistance has one sole mission: to keep things as they are. To maintain the status quo. Resistance will attempt to stop our creative activity through any means necessary, whether it be rationalizing, inspiring fear and anxiety, emphasizing other distractions that require attention, or raising the voice of our inner critic.

This episode is about managing our ego, silencing the inner saboteur, and honing our humility. It’s about learning to recognize resistance when it creeps into our life so we can rise above it and do the things that lead us to our highest purpose and our best self.

Reference:

Joshua J Anderson: https://www.joshuajanderson.com/blog/ego-the-downfall-of-man

Mel Robbins: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Saying-Youre-Fine-Getting/dp/0307716732

Steven Pressfield: https://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Winning-Creative-Battle-audio-cd/dp/1501260626

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://centercoachcreate.com/courses/e-commerce-course/

Delivering Big Creativity: Small Steps & Practices

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 18:00:00 -0400

Delivering big creativity starts with small steps and practices you incorporate into your everyday life. Too often we hold back our creative energy because we lack courage, but the truth is connecting to your creativity is connecting to your courage.

Creativity = Courage

Just like any proficiency, creativity is a muscle that needs to be exercised. Developing your creativity starts with the simple act of developing a creative practice that is judgment-free and full of fun.

#tunein to this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast with Creative Warrior Heather Harris and learn to embrace, cultivate, and celebrate your creativity.

Learn more about cultivating your creativity:

https://heatherlynnharris.com/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290

Black History Month: Ain't I a Woman?

Mon, 12 Feb 2024 18:00:00 -0400

February is black history month, an annual celebration of achievements by African Americans, and a time for recognizing their central role in U.S. history and, importantly, in the women’s equality movement. African American women have too often been overlooked in the history of our fight for gender equity.

This episode honors and quotes many brilliant, brave, black women who fought to create a fairer and more equitable world. These words have tremendous power and impact including the important work of Kimberlé Crenshaw who coined the phrase intersectionality. Crenshaw simply and poignantly said, "If we aren’t intersectional, some of us, the most vulnerable, are going to fall through the cracks."

This is at the heart of Together We Rise, bringing to the forefront that we must consider all women when we talk about advancing women. As Audra Lord said, “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”

#tunein and celebrate #blackhistorymonth and honor the insights of so many brilliant black women including Sojourner Truth, Shirley Chisholm, Bell Hooks, Pauli Murray, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Rebecca Walker, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou, and more!

References:

Hooks, B. (1981). Ain't I a woman: Black women and feminism. Chicago

Hooks, B. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge, MA :South End Press

About Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/20/18542843/intersectionality-conservatism-law-race-gender-discrimination Sojourner Truth’s Ain’t I A Woman Speech (read by Dr. Maya Angelou) https://youtu.be/mM4JjuQeqDA Truth, S. (Original Speech, 1851) https://thehermitage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sojourner-Truth_Aint-I-a-Woman_1851.pdf

For more information on Dr. DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

The Community We Nourish

Mon, 29 Jan 2024 19:40:22 -0400

When you sit with warriors, the conversation is different. The power of sitting with warriors is the impact of those conversations. Too many of us are surrounded by people that will always see us as we are, rather than seeing our potential and growth. We need to nurture the right relationships and build a community of people that we can count on, that give it to us straight, that we trust, and that have our backs. I'm talking about the people who elevate us and move us toward our best selves and our best lives. #tunein to learn what you can do to create that community. In the new year, we often focus on health and fitness, but maybe it’s time to focus on your social fitness! Conversation and community should equal social support.

Learn more about how a strong group of women in your corner can be a game changer, not just in terms of success and growth, but also for longevity. The right people help us to put things in perspective which helps build our resilience and cope better when things don't go to plan. These relationships can help us to transcend and thrive…but only if we're nurturing the seeds that will bloom and not the weeds.

Resources

America Ferrera Barbie Speech: https://youtu.be/CBqlDWHkdHk?si=C-8_mAEIxf0jlPGC

Advancing Women Podcast episode #94 Advice that works for Women https://open.spotify.com/episode/6JUelsOcwsPZEmSBLq028y?si=0IPVgRRrQSeArAMT8MEh0A

Center Coach Create™ https://centercoachcreate.com/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Advice That Works for Women! Center Coach Create™

Mon, 15 Jan 2024 18:00:00 -0400

As women, we are often faced with unique barriers and then contradictory advice. This episode is about better understanding the biases that produce those barriers so that we can interrupt them and ditch the contradictory advice with strategies that work FOR WOMEN.

Too often the best practice advice that women receive doesn't work for us because it wasn't designed by or for us! So, we end up internalizing the fault and the flaw when ANY advice grounded in women as not enough, flawed, or defective is advice we don’t need and should not listen to!

It's not your fault but it is your problem. So #tunein to hear about a #bold #audacious new community launching this year: Center Coach Create™

https://centercoachcreate.com/

Center Coach Create™ is a personal and professional development company grounded in #wellness powered by #knowledge and manifested as #creative #courage.

Don’t miss this #newepisode where we show how Center Coach Create™ is the remedy to advice and strategies that don’t work for women. Join wellness Warrior Erica Golub and Creative Warrior Heather Harris as we talk Center and the practice of stillness, reflection, and nourish; Coach and the practice of pause, strategic response, and utilizing your community; and Create and the practice of believing in your creativity, establishing a creative practice, and embracing imperfection.

So much useful information packed into this episode, you won’t want to miss it! #tunein

References:

Center Coach Create™ https://centercoachcreate.com/

America Ferrara Barbie Clip:
https://youtu.be/CBqlDWHkdHk?si=ruPbzkJKfZ5QPtU_

J.Williams: https://www.ted.com/talks/joan_c_williams_why_corporate_diversity_programs_fail_and_how_small_tweaks_can_have_big_impact?

Fortune: https://fortune.com/2015/10/28/women-career-advancement/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

This Is the Year for Bold, Audacious Goals!

Mon, 01 Jan 2024 18:00:00 -0400

Thanks to the sponsor of this episode Center Coach Create™ a personal and professional development company that helps ambitious women develop their mindset, skillset, and toolset with evidence-based strategies designed by and for women, Center Coach Create™ can help you get unstuck so you can transcend and thrive. Learn more at https://centercoachcreate.com/ Let's let 2024 be a year for bold, audacious goals. Let's get unstuck, start the thing, and overcome resistance BUT, let's also remember that there is NOT an expiration on our goals. It’s our lives and our goals, so it should be on our timeline. We must be mindful though, that our timeline isn’t when things get “less busy” or when “you’re ready.” Here’s the thing warriors, things will NEVER not be busy. You will never likely find that elusive “more time” and there is no “perfect time.”

We don’t want our goals to be on someone else’s timeline, but we also don’t want the internal saboteur to talk us out of moving forward with our goals. Because warriors, you were meant to have bold, audacious, meaningful goals! In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I talk about WHY we should have BOLD, RADICAL, AUDACIOUS goals and how to recognize and overcome the internal and external barriers that keep us from moving towards our goals. Here’s the great news…you don’t have to do it alone.

Episodes referenced in this episode:

Fear of Failure

Teach Girls Bravery AND Teach Boys Empathy

https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/lets-teach-girls-bravery-and-teach-boys-empathy/id1569849100?i=1000576175167

Conquering Resistance: ‎Advancing Women Podcast: Conquering Resistance on Apple Podcasts For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast visit:

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Less Chaos, More Comfort & Joy

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 21:17:12 -0400

As women, we can find ourselves feeling more stressed with all the holiday prep that so often disproportionately drains us of our time and our calm. We feel like if we don’t do all the things, others will be disappointed, or things will fall through the cracks. So, we do everything in our power to mediate that, often at great personal cost to our comfort and joy.

This episode focuses on YOUR comfort, joy, calm, and cozy. Learn more in this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast about the Danish practice of Hygge (coziness & comfort) and the art of joyful living. For all you do to care and do for others, take a little time this holiday season to get cozy, you deserve it!

Tidings of Hygge & Joy Resources

The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World's Happiest Country by Helen Russell

The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living by Meik Wiking

The HYGGE manifesto https://medium.com/10-bullets-100-words-book-summary/10-bullets-100-words-book-the-little-book-of-hygge-by-meik-wiking-3656e2b8035c

Joyful: The surprising power of ordinary things to create extraordinary happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee

The Joy of Less: A Minimalist Guide to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Warrior Gift Giving: Women Supporting Women

Mon, 04 Dec 2023 18:00:00 -0400

Did you know that although women make up half the population, research shows we control or influence most consumer spending (more than 80% of all purchases!)

Why then don't more businesses large and small think of women first when creating new products and services AND how dare these companies that benefit so greatly from the decisions women make to purchase their products not create more equity for women within the organization's leadership?

Tis the season…to flex our consumer power and help support women and women’s advancement. This episode encourages us all to think intentionally and strategically about the choices we make with our dollars and how our choices can impact gender equity. Shop your conscience this holiday season and don't fall into the trap of believing that you alone can't make a difference. As Vincent van Gogh said, great things are done by a series of small things brought together!

#supportwomen #sheconomy #womensupportingwomen #supportwomeninbusiness

Resources:

Gender Diversity Index https://www.equilar.com/reports/74-q1-2020-equilar-gender-diversity-index.html

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Stop Telling Us We Have Imposter Syndrome

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 21:33:24 -0400

Have you ever felt Imposter Syndrome? Then #tunein because this is the episode for you!

Women in the workplace and in society are too often “problematized” rather than addressing very real biases and barriers we face. We are told if we want to succeed…to belong…we have to fit in and research shows that fitting in is the opposite of belonging because we are expected to change who we are rather than be who we are. We are told to be our authentic selves then feel consequences when we do.

This episode addresses the three main themes in the imposter syndrome: 1. Not believing you deserve the success you have achieved. 2. A feeling of fraudulence about that success. 3. A feeling of dread that you will be “found out”. But we will also consider context when we are discussing imposter syndrome. Although research has shown that both men and women can experience the phenomenon – it is women, who tend to be the focus of the advice, workshops, books, and professional development initiatives aimed at overcoming the problem. It is unfair to make this a women problem, BUT we should consider how women and persons of color disproportionately experience many workforce biases that HAVE contributed to the problem.

Let’s talk about ending the narratives around women and Imposter Syndrome so there is less talk of fixing women at work and more fixing the places women work!

Reference:

https://www.ted.com/talks/jodi_ann_burey_the_myth_of_bringing_your_full_authentic_self_to_work?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The Seeds We Water Are the Seeds That Grow

Mon, 06 Nov 2023 18:00:00 -0400

We are all so busy juggling so many competing priorities for our time and energy. Careers, families, relationships, goals, aspirations, personal growth, wellness, and self-care. It can all begin to feel like too much. Where do we put our energy? Which seeds do we water? This episode is about focus and ensuring that energy flows where attention goes.

It’s not just about planting and watering the right seeds, it’s about dealing with those seeds that we didn’t even plant (the social conditioning that doesn’t serve us, that negatively impacts how we think, feel, and act). The pruning of the weeds to support the right growth in our gardens (our lives). if we water positive thoughts, they will bring us joy and optimism but if we water negative thoughts… the mental weeds, they can bring anxiety and self-doubt. This episode is about watering the seeds that will blossom into the life we want and starving the weeds that don’t.

#Tunein to this #newepisode of the #advancingwomenpodcast

References

The Parable of the Two Wolves https://theacademy.sdsu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/two-wolves-cherokee-story.pdf

The Power of Positive Affirmations https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-power-of-positive-affirmations-sitting-with-warriors/id1569849100?i=1000626021600

Less Hustle & Grind, More Alignment & Balance

Mon, 23 Oct 2023 18:00:00 -0300

Too often culturally we glorify the hustle and grind. The truth is though, we all pay a price for overwork including stress, burnout, and less healthy emotional well-being. Especially for women.

This episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast addresses the extreme work model, presenteeism, and a 24/7 work culture where high intensity is the norm, where everything is an emergency, and where every problem is critical. A culture of constant accessibility and availability has become the productivity standard. But is it necessary? If you want less #hustle and #grind and more #balanced and #alignment then this is the episode for you! #tunein

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kicking-the-over-apologizing-habit/id1569849100?i=1000617617515

What Mansplaining IS and What It Is NOT (And How to Make It Stop!)

Mon, 09 Oct 2023 20:17:34 -0300

Mansplaining is more than condescension or interrupting, it’s where condescension intersects with power and privilege. Mansplaining is a condescending explanation by members of socially, culturally, or legally privileged groups in their interactions with those who don’t hold the same power and privilege.

In this episode, we deconstruct Androcentric Bias (the assumption that the male view is the norm or default), and Androcentrism (the tendency to center society around men’s needs and priorities).

This episode addresses where mansplaining is most prevalent (which domains) and provides some new solutions to a tiresome old problem. It’s also a great episode for male allies who may be asking; how do I recognize mansplaining so I can be an upstander? #tunein

Episodes referenced in this episode:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/second-generation-gender-bias/id1569849100?i=1000524554582

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Additional References:

Mansplaining Explained in One Chart: https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20180727-mansplaining-explained-in-one-chart

Am I Mansplaining Chart? https://images.app.goo.gl/XxbgA6JBbBYjwosF6

Kaplan, S. (2019). Mansplaining: New solutions to a tiresome old problem. The Conversation Online: https://theconversation.com/mansplaining-new-solutions-to-a-tiresome-old-problem-120400

Bailey, A. H., LaFrance, M., & Dovidio, J. F. (2019). Is man the measure of all things? A social cognitive account of androcentrism. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 23(4), 307-331.

When and HOW to Say NO. Setting Boundaries in Work and in Life!

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 18:30:00 -0300

Too often we as women take on an unfair share of responsibilities and then are blamed for saying yes to every request when we are too busy and feel overwhelmed. But… if we don’t do it, who will? This episode demystifies why it is so difficult for us as women to say no (hint: it’s not your fault, but it is your problem!)

I explore with compassion (and a lot of evidence) why saying no, while difficult for many people, can be especially difficult for women. I address the very real patterns of bias, social norms, and expectations that contribute to why women often find saying no so challenging AND we go beyond the why and into the how.

Want to know how to create healthy boundaries, control our own narratives, and take back authority over our time and well-being? Then #tunein You won’t want to miss this one!

Episodes referenced in this episode:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/two-year-anniversary-episode-its-still-not-your-fault/id1569849100?i=1000615774652

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://dannysessays.com/

The Paradox of Meritocracy

Tue, 12 Sep 2023 00:37:52 -0300

Can meritocracy make things fairer? Does it level the playing field?

A meritocracy is a system where power and advancement are granted to individuals based solely on talent, effort, ability, and achievement. That we will be evaluated based solely on performance as measured through objective criteria and demonstrated achievement.

The problem is the premise of meritocracy. The assumption is that evaluations in the workforce are objective, despite research and knowledge that we as human beings, social beings with different experiences, are incapable of being completely objective. So then, if we know that, we should be more realistic about the limitations of meritocracy principles in organizations.

Indeed, research overwhelmingly confirms that much of our evaluation in hiring and promoting is NOT based on purely objective criteria, despite our utopian belief and desire for this to be the case.

So, this episode of the #advancingwomenpodcast holds the idea of meritocracy and women’s advancement up the scrutiny of the scientific knowledge of human behavior, biases, and blind spots, as well as the erroneous assumptions that guide meritocratic ideologies which ultimately serve to hinder women’s advancement. #tunein

References

Staniscuaski, F. (2023). The science meritocracy myth devalues women. Science, 379(6639), 1308-1308.

van Dijk, H., Kooij, D., Karanika-Murray, M., De Vos, A., & Meyer, B. (2020). Meritocracy a myth? A multilevel perspective of how social inequality accumulates through work. Organizational Psychology Review, 10(3-4), 240-269.

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2021/01/the-myth-of-meritocracy-according-to-michael-sandel/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

The Power of Positive Affirmations: Sitting with Warriors

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 21:12:14 -0300

If you think positive affirmations are a touchy-feely approach to dealing with bias and inequity, think again!

Research shows that positive affirmations are an excellent way to combat negative messaging and positively impact our thoughts and actions. Positive affirmations help us to disrupt negative thinking (that often comes from gender bias that is not our fault but is our problem) and help re-wire our brains for positive thoughts. Women in society, especially in the world of social media, are fed a steady diet of “not enoughness”, but guess what? You ARE enough, you HAVE enough, and you DO enough (That’s one of many affirmations we’ll be discussing in this episode!)

The best anecdote to negative energy…the best way to interrupt external and internal negative talk… is creating a practice of positive affirmations. With practice, eventually, positive thought patterns appear and interrupt negative thoughts AND those good thoughts then affect your actions.

I often say on the Advancing Women Podcast, that when you sit with warriors the conversation is different and, in this episode, I sit with warriors and we share, and discuss some of our favorite (most impactful) positive affirmations.

References

Addison Road “This Little Light of Mine”

https://youtu.be/CVeB7ACVgO0

Hebrews 11:1 https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy/id1569849100?i=1000612238713
https://planetsark.com/yes-to-more-selflove-for-you/

Cingel, D. P., Carter, M. C., & Krause, H. V. (2022). Social media and self-esteem. Current Opinion in Psychology, 45, 101304.

https://www.headwayclinic.ca/4-benefits-positive-affirmations/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

ttps://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Create Habits & Systems to Interrupt Bias

Tue, 15 Aug 2023 02:23:28 -0300

“You do not rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your systems” (James Clear, 2018, Atomic Habits).

It is crucial for us as women who so often encounter unique, unfair barriers while also hearing conflicting advice (not created by or FOR women!) to transcend and thrive by creating intentional, actionable, steps and strategic processes that disrupt the bias and better serve us.

This episode is about creating the clarity we need to be proactive and effective. When we see the patterns of bias in the situation, we can respond in a way that works for women. If you want to hear more about creating the most effective mindset (what you think), skillset (what you know), and toolset (what you do) to take back control and tackle barriers you won’t want to miss this episode!

Resources

https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/tone-policing-vocal-fry-upspeak/id1569849100?i=1000568796565

https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits

For more on the 4 Ps Advancement Model:

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-4-ps-advancement-model-for-women/id1569849100?i=1000580718803

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

The Problem with Presenteeism & The Extreme Work Model

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 22:00:59 -0300

If you are ambitious and achievement driven, it can be easy to find yourself in an extreme work model and out of balance especially when #presenteeism and constant availability are often erroneously associated with commitment and drive. This outdated “ideal worker” norm is bad for everyone, men and women, but research shows it can be especially damaging to women’s careers.

Societal norms and expectations continue to perpetuate the idea that being a wife and raising a family is the top priority for women, while career advancement and financial independence are secondary while for men, the opposite is true.

A corporate culture requiring total devotion from all employees, combined with cultural gender norms, ultimately sets the standard for certain workplace behaviors to be seen as worthy of reward. It has led to the idea of the ideal worker as a present and always available. This model wasn’t designed by or for women and it wasn’t designed for today’s workforce.

There have been many initiatives over the past couple of decades in the workforce aimed at advancing women that have helped when it comes to getting us to the middle, but the extreme work model looms over us creating a barrier to those top positions.

We have to keep this discussion on the forefront because this model doesn’t work for women and even if it is working for men’s advancement. it isn’t what most men want anymore. If it is just women pushing back, it won’t change – we need men to also push back because we know it will be better for all of us.

This discussion is all about a mindset shift. We need to ditch the idea that being present and available all the time equals the ideal worker because what it really equals is dissatisfaction, burnout, and a general lack of wellness and happiness.

Reference

DeSimone, K. (2021). Women perceive barriers to corporate advancement as self-imposed. Advancing Women in Leadership Journal, 40(1), 99-107.

Shipman, C., & Kay, K. (2010). Womenomics: Work less, achieve more, live better. New York, NY: Harper.

Previous Podcasts Referenced in This Episode:

Gender Equity = Win-Win https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gender-equity-win-win/id1569849100?i=1000621456781

The Meritocracy Myth https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-meritocracy-myth/id1569849100?i=1000542761335

Dad’s Don’t Babysit, It’s Called Parenting https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dads-dont-babysit-its-called-parenting/id1569849100?i=1000557163813

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Gender Equity = Win/Win

Mon, 17 Jul 2023 22:04:06 -0300

This episode focuses on evidence-based, positive outcomes of gender equity for everyone, men, women, children, businesses, and even nations.

A more gender-egalitarian future is one that can improve our lives. It’s a future with a higher potential for more happiness and satisfaction, reduced stress, better health, better marriages, stronger families, and more successful and profitable companies.

Research shows conclusively that the more gender equitable an organization is, the better outcomes are for ALL employees when measured against a host of key indicators from job satisfaction to lower turnover to better recruiting to higher rates of creativity and productivity.

So…instead of thinking about what gender equality is going to cost (win-lose) we need to start thinking about what gender inequality is already costing us, less happiness, less wellness, less life satisfaction, and less abundance Gender equity is about more abundance for all (win-win!)

A rising tide lifts all boats, and we can benefit and thrive in a world where we are all afforded our own "pursuit of happiness" unhindered by discriminatory policies, prescriptive social constructs, and gender stereotypes and biases. Let’s talk about how we get there in this week’s episode of the Advancing Women Podcast.

#genderequity #genderequality #hapiness #abundance #worklifebalance

References

Audette, A.P., Lam, S., O’Connor, H. et al. (E)Quality of Life: A Cross-National Analysis of the Effect of Gender Equality on Life Satisfaction. J Happiness Stud 20, 2173–2188 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-018-0042-8

Michael Kimmel: Why gender equality is good for everyone – men included TEDWomen https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_kimmel_why_gender_equality_is_good_for_everyone_men_included?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Caroline Strachan: Why gender equality is not just about women TEDxFolkestone https://youtu.be/a4WuurpnSbc
The Invisible Rules: What’s Really Holding Women Back in Business—and How to Fix It (2021) by Holly Catalfamo (Author), Paul Harrietha (Author)

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Let’s Swap Expectations for Requirements

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 18:00:00 -0300

Research shows that expectations can be a major cause of stress, anxiety, and loss of trust and respect in our relationships. This episode challenges the too-common narrative that it is women’s “too high expectations” that cause many of our problems. I introduce a more accurate narrative that serves women by distinguishing expectations(grounded in social norms and stereotypes) from requirements and standards(grounded in our self-esteem and self-care.)

The real questions we should be asking ourselves as women is not are my expectations and standards too high, but rather, what do I require in my relationships, and why? It is not only acceptable but advisable and healthy to have requirements around how you want or need to be interacted with and treated.

#tunein and prepare for a mindset shift from expectations to requirements that not only sheds light on the real issue but also interrupts the blame placed on our shoulders so you never feel again that you must lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode:

Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should we Care? (March 2023).

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/young-men-are-opting-out-of-marriage-and/id1569849100?i=1000604015537

Comparison is the Thief of Joy (May 2023)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy/id1569849100?i=1000612238713

Learn more about The 4 Ps Advancement Model for Women

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Kicking the Over-Apologizing Habit

Mon, 19 Jun 2023 18:00:00 -0300

Do you over-apologize, even when you haven’t done anything wrong? Do you deflect compliments? These are topics that I am asked to speak about often and in this episode, I dig into why we as women over-apologize (hint: It’s not our fault) and what we can do to successfully interrupt this pattern.

Apologizing when we have done something wrong is a real strength, but compulsive apologizing can present as a weakness at work and in personal relationships. Research shows women apologize up to three times more often than men and that we deflect praise in ways that can undermine our success.

Research also shows that as women, our accomplishments are often undervalued, and our mistakes are more noticed and remembered, so we don’t want to apologize unnecessarily or deflect attention from our accomplishments.

This is a practical episode that is all about shifting our mindset and strengthening our toolset. We can develop habits that interrupt the biases and inequities that negatively and disproportionately impact women when we are intentional, mindful, and strategic in our communication. Learn how to shift from subtle undermining habits to habits we can implement daily in small ways that add up.

Reference:

Pantene Ad: Don’t be sorry, shine strong. https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI

The 4 Ps Advancement Model for Women https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

Schumann, K., & Ross, M. (2019). Why women apologize more than men: Gender differences in thresholds for perceiving offensive behavior. Psychological Science, 21(11), 1649-1655.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Two-Year Anniversary Episode: It’s Still Not Your Fault!

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 18:00:00 -0300

Today marks two years since I launched the Advancing Women Podcast. This episode highlights the evidence-based knowledge and awareness of our reality as ambitious women. The very real biases and barriers that can make our journey more difficult. I continue to hold up to the light, call out, and interrupt the narratives around women’s advancement that too often suggest that we are flawed; that it is our not-enoughness that leads to inequity.

This podcast continues to be grounded in the rejection of the false premise that women are defective, flawed, or somehow less fit to lead, advance, or thrive. The fallacy is that if we do all the “developmental” things we would see the inequities melt away. A lie we are constantly fed.

Warriors, we are neither broken, nor defective. We don’t need to be fixed!

The fix-the-women narrative has too long manifested as best practice advice given to women that does not work because it is recycled, repurposed advice that was not designed by or for women and does not consider the very real, scientifically proven impact of gender bias. Things the ambition penalty, gas lighting, tightrope bias, tug of war bias, prove-it-again bias, and the motherhood penalty.

I started the podcast two years ago as a place where empathy meets pragmatism. Empathy: It's not your fault. Pragmatism: But it is your problem. It’s about correcting both the invisibility and distortion of our real experiences in ways that better serve us. Tune in for strategies that reflect the very real barriers that can make our journey more challenging. It’s about gaining clarity, getting unstuck, and a mindset shift aimed at interrupting the social conditioning that can lead to self-blame and self-doubt.

Join this community of women supporting women. A community that provides unconditional, unjudgmental support, to help you transcend and thrive.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

Women, Inclusivity, and the Business of Sports with Leah Boyd

Mon, 22 May 2023 18:00:00 -0300

In the past few decades, we have seen a steady increase of women entering male-dominated fields, yet they are still finding that the good ole boys’ club persists. Studies show that women working in the business of sports trail all other industries on every dimension of inclusion. Women are expected to prove their competency again, and again, and again, while working tirelessly to “fit in.”

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I am chatting with Leah Boyd; a leader for a global brand focused on sports, and culture that works with many of the biggest professional sports leagues about how to transcend barriers and thrive AUTHENTICALLY.

In the business of sports (and many other businesses) talking sports and being “in the know” regarding the best players, big player moves, and all the stats can add up to some very valuable professional currency. If you have ever felt like the only way to bond with your male peers is to talk sports, and you would rather not, then this is the episode for you! In this episode, we talk about not falling into the trap of gender stereotypes, overcoming Imposter Syndrome, and bridging and bonding tips to help create connections and bond authentically, even in the most male-dominated environments.

It is possible to rewrite the playbook and create inclusive spaces for women to advance and thrive.

Reference:

McKinsey (2023) The Business of Sports and the Quest for Inclusion for Women https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/technology-media-and-telecommunications/our-insights/the-business-of-sports-and-the-quest-for-inclusion-for-women

The Science Behind Why Men Like Sports More https://time.com/4322947/men-women-sports-evolution/

Sports and Men’s Emotions https://www.rc.org/publication/present_time/pt174/pt174_044_ks

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

Mon, 08 May 2023 18:53:00 -0300

It happens each time we turn on the tv, or scroll on our favorite social media app, and even when we visit with good friends. As human beings, we are all driven to try to gain an accurate self-assessment of who we are. If we’re not careful, this passive watching (and sometimes judging) of others can subconsciously begin to make us feel like what we have isn’t enough. Who we are and what we have achieved isn’t enough. Or on the flip side of this, we may begin to feel a sense of superiority over others. Whether our self-esteem is inflated or deflated, nothing good comes out of comparison. Our joy, happiness, and contentment suffer. Our empathy for and connection to others suffer.

In this episode, we talk about Social Comparison Theory (Festinger, 1954) and how we can fall into the trap of valuing our own personal and social worth by assessing how we compare to others. Whether it is an upward or downward comparison, if we allow comparison of others to dictate how we view our own lives it can steal our joy. Comparison is a Kryptonite that often makes us want more while we simultaneously see ourselves as less. Tune in to this episode to learn more about how to ditch comparison and stop allowing it to steal our joy.

“A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms” ~Zen Shin

Reference:

Podcast episode referenced in this episode (Fear of Failure)

iTunes/Apple

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290&l=fr

Podcast episode referenced in this episode (Toxic Positivity)

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/toxic-positivity-versus-mental-contrasting/id1569849100?i=1000577719994&l=fr

Podcast episode referenced in this episode (Glamorizing the Grind)

https://podcasts.apple.com/gw/podcast/glamorizing-the-grind-why-overwork-and-burnout-are/id1569849100?i=1000530119596&l=fr

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

How We Talk About Women and Work

Mon, 24 Apr 2023 19:47:19 -0300

Women represent half of the workforce, yet still, it is necessary to call out the subtle and overt ways the narratives surrounding women's contributions in the workforce can serve to reinforce biases.

Too often, discussions on women and work, especially women, in a partnership or marriage suggest that work for women is a "choice" or in some way less important than it is for men. This can perpetuate the bias that men's, careers, and career successes are more important than women's AND that in a partnership women should be the ones to subordinate their careers.

This episode emphasizes the importance of women's workforce contributions. Work outside of the home is essential to women's economic security, and social equality, and to creating a robust and sustainable economy. Research shows that work results in far more than a "pile of paystubs". It can give us a greater sense of purpose and personal fulfillment.

Having a life of our own and enjoying it on our own terms is very important, for every individual. We often see men as entitled to success beyond their families and kids, while at the same we ask if women can "have it all?" Women can absolutely have a life beyond their family and kids, and there's nothing wrong with that, just as men do. Having a sense of self-accomplishment and fulfillment outside of their family is not something that women should have to apologize for.
#Tunein to hear more!

Reference:

Podcast episode referenced in this episode (The Deals We Make)

iTunes/Apple

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-deals-we-make/id1569849100?=1000532205688

Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Mtio2sckpzlkgEgba6Tus?
Si=A4D6rM9UTICjm7iYVXibzg

Crittenden, D. (1999). What our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why
Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman. Simon & Schuster, New York,
NY

The Opt-Out Revolution

https://www.nytimes.com/2003/10/26/magazine/the-opt-out-revolution.html

The Opt-Out Myth

https://archives.cjr.org/essay/the_optout_myth.php

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:
https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Autism Mom Empathy #autismawarenessmonth

Mon, 10 Apr 2023 18:00:00 -0300

Reference:

Twin Cities Mom Collective (March 2022). My Secret World as an Autism Mom. https://twincitiesmom.com/my-secret-world-autism-mom/

Recker, L., & Babcock, E. (2021). Parent/Caregiver Burnout with Autism Due to COVID.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/10oW7FgzU65qrJ5JAsMDrc?si=gCQUw6hxR7GtYpP_f1r2TA

Don’t Call Them Soft Skills With Communications Strategist Anna Bulszewicz

Mon, 27 Mar 2023 19:00:00 -0300

“It is no longer reasonable or appropriate to identify everyday communication skills or people skills as soft skills. In a post-pandemic world, leaders, managers, and teammates must trailblaze with empathy and strong emotional intelligence or lose out.” (AMC)

Tune in for this pragmatic interview on mindful communication with communications strategist Anna Bulszewicz. After working for nearly 20 years in corporate, the media, and academia, Anna helps leaders and businesses implement mindful communication practices that increase emotional, quotient and generate successful business communities. In this episode, she shares incredible insight and some useful tips you won’t want to miss. It’s all about communication, community, and connection.

Let’s stop calling communication skills and emotional intelligence “soft skills.” These are ESSENTIAL skills that women tend to be exceptionally good at, so let’s make sure we are acknowledging, honing, utilizing, and touting these super skills!

Podcast referenced in this episode (Let’s teach girls bravery and teach boys empathy)

iTunes/Apple https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/lets-teach-girls-bravery-and-teach-boys-empathy/id1569849100?i=1000576175167

For more info on Anna Bulszewicz and Anna Michele Communications (AMC):

Website: https://www.annamcommunications.com/

Blog: https://www.annamcommunications.com/blog/woman

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/annabulszewicz/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Pew Research Center Report: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in-the-u-s/

https://ca.style.yahoo.com/expert-says-marriage-makes-men-happier-than-women-092140705.html

https://heragenda.com/p/this-is-why-men-benefit-from-marriage-more-than-women/

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/videos/2019-07-04/-happiness-expert-on-love-and-marriage-video

Young Men are Opting Out of Marriage and Relationships. Should we Care?

Mon, 13 Mar 2023 19:59:30 -0300

A recent Pew Research Center report is gaining a lot of attention in the media. The study found that 30 percent of U.S. adults are neither married, living with a partner, nor engaged in a committed relationship and nearly half of all young adults are single. Here’s what is surprising, 34 percent of women, and a whopping 63 percent of men are single.

Why are so many young men shying from marriage or even dating? Are younger men getting lazier or more selfish? Are young women getting choosier or more demanding? Find out what is going on and why it is definitely NOT our fault as women, but also (hot take here) – not our problem.

In this episode, we address cultural shifts in the meaning of wife and what that means in terms of relationship expectations, sex, dating, marriage, and commitment.

Reference

The Meaning of Wife: A Provocative Look at Women and Marriage in the Twenty-first Century by Anne Kingston (Author)

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Black Women’s Voices in The Women’s Rights Movement

Tue, 28 Feb 2023 00:35:56 -0400

February is black history month, an annual celebration of achievements by African Americans, and a time for recognizing their central role in U.S. history. African American women have too often been overlooked in the history of our fight for gender equity. The struggle against racism, sexism, and all other-isms. All must be addressed simultaneously.

This episode honors and quotes many brilliant, brave, black women who fought and fight, to create a fairer and more equitable world.

Don’t miss this episode with the wisdom and inspiration of so many brilliant black women who have provided so much wisdom. These words have tremendous power and impact like the important work of Kimberlé Crenshaw who coined the phrase intersectionality. Crenshaw simply and poignantly said, "If we aren’t intersectional, some of us, the most vulnerable, are going to fall through the cracks."

This is at the heart of together we rise, bringing to the forefront that we must consider layers of oppression when we talk about advancing ALL women. As Audra Lord said, “I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”

Celebrate black history month and honor the many insights of so many brilliant black women including Sojourner Truth, Shirley Chisholm, Bell Hooks, Pauli Murray, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou and more!

References:

Hooks, B. (1981). Ain't I a woman: Black women and feminism. Chicago

Hooks, B. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge, MA :South End Press

About Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/20/18542843/intersectionality-conservatism-law-race-gender-discrimination

Sojourner Truth’s Ain’t I A Woman Speech (read by Dr. Maya Angelou) https://youtu.be/mM4JjuQeqDA

Truth, S. (Original Speech, 1851) https://thehermitage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sojourner-Truth_Aint-I-a-Woman_1851.pdf

For more information on Dr. DeSimone or the Advancing Women Podcast:

Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Fashion Should Be Fun for EveryBODY, Talking Body Positivity With Veronica Freund

Mon, 13 Feb 2023 18:00:00 -0400

Fashion is one of the most visible ways we express ourselves, yet too often we feel compelled to choose what is most flattering. We choose clothing that shrinks us or “sucks us in” versus what makes us feel joyful. Fashion should NOT just be for some, we should all be comfortable and confident enough to enjoy fashion, but that requires dismantling the negative external messaging around women’s bodies, perfection, and who is “deserving” of fashion.

Increasingly there is a movement to make fashion more inclusive. This episode of the Advancing Women Podcast with fashion, lifestyle, and body positivity influencer and content creator Veronica Freund explores positive body image, body neutrality, and learning to love ourselves enough right where we are now. As Veronica says, we need to “Stop waiting to be this “perfect version” of yourself to truly start living your life.”

In this episode, we explore dopamine dressing and enclothes cognition (how what we wear impacts how we feel!) because research shows that fashion looks better when you feel good on the inside, but you can also feel better on the inside when you love how you look on the outside. So, let's not wait to be a certain weight to enjoy fashion. All of us warrior women deserve to step into our power and feel fashionable and confident in clothing that makes us feel playful, sexy, and beautiful at any size.

Resources:

To learn more about Veronica:

https://veronicafreund.com/

https://www.tiktok.com/@veronicafreund

https://www.instagram.com/veronica_freund87/

https://twitter.com/veronica_freund

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://www.littlebigbrands.com/

Authentic Branding with Pamela Long from Little Big Brands

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 20:55:02 -0400

With the super bowl approaching many of us are going to be thinking about and talking about the ads. Recent studies show that despite an increased cultural focus on equality and empowerment movements, women report feeling that major brands are still not effectively acknowledging women’s priorities or communicating with women in an empowering or authentic manner.

This conversation is about more than entertainment. It's about continuing to challenge a media industry, organizations, and brands that too often misrepresent women, distort women’s experiences, and speak inauthentically to women. We are joined in this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast by Pamela Long, Partner at Little Big Brands, a brand strategy and design firm to talk about the importance of “speaking to women, understanding what they want, what motivates them, and how they want to be portrayed.”

We have to demand more! Marketing and the media play a major role in how women and girls see themselves, so we must continue to challenge unrealistic portrayals and misrepresentations and champion authentic representation. We deserve better!

Learn more about Pamela and Little Big Brands here:

https://www.instagram.com/littlebigbrands/

https://www.facebook.com/littlebigbrands

https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamelalongatlittlebig/

Learn more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:

Bold, Audacious Goals

Mon, 16 Jan 2023 19:07:19 -0400

There is NOT an expiration on our goals. It’s our lives and our goals, so it should be on our timeline. We must be mindful though, that our timeline isn’t when things get “less busy” or when “you’re ready.” Here’s the thing warriors, things will NEVER not be busy. You will not likely ever find that elusive “more time” and there is no “perfect time.”

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I talk about WHY we should have BOLD, RADICAL, AUDACIOUS goals and how to recognize and overcome the internal and external barriers that keep us from moving towards our goals.

Episodes referenced in this episode:

Bold Radical Audacious Goals: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bold-radical-audacious-goals-b-r-a-g/id1569849100?i=1000546833576

Conquering Resistance: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conquering-resistance/id1569849100?i=1000559405192

New Year’s Resolutions: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/afraid-you-wont-keep-new-years-resolutions-make-them-anyway/id1569849100?i=1000591952163

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bold-radical-audacious-goals-b-r-a-g/id1569849100?i=1000546833576

Afraid You Won’t Keep New Years’ Resolutions? Make Them Anyway!

Mon, 02 Jan 2023 18:00:00 -0400

Happy New Year! In this first Advancing Women Podcast episode of 2023, we’re talking fresh starts, blank slates, and resolutions.

Research shows that the most popular New Year’s resolutions are about self-improvement (living healthier getting happier, improving relationships, meeting goals.) Yet research also shows that less than 10% of people actually reach their goals. So, this reality leaves many of us questioning the point of it all – why even bother? This episode is about the good that can come from hope and inspiration. Having goals, living with intention, and a desire to grow and improve, are good things, important things that can lead to more happiness, fulfillment, and purpose.

#tunein to better understand the advantages of resolutions and how we can benefit from shifting our #mindset from goals to systems and habits. This episode is about deemphasizing the goal in favor of focusing on the habits and systems that help us move toward our goals!

Links to episodes referenced:

Bold Radical Audacious Goals (B.R.A.G). Advancing Women Podcast:

Achieving Goals: Mindset, Skillset, Toolset. Advancing Women Podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/achieving-goals-mindset-skillset-toolset/id1569849100?i=1000548184285

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Have a Hygge Holiday!

Mon, 19 Dec 2022 18:00:00 -0400

All-Or-Nothing Thinking: What It Is, and How to Stop It!

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 18:00:00 -0400

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we're tackling cognitive distortions. A cognitive distortion is an assumption we make based on minimal evidence, or without considering the evidence. It is an exaggerated or irrational thought pattern that causes us to perceive reality inaccurately. We all engage in cognitive distortions.

We can overgeneralize and interpret one negative event or mistake as a pattern of defeat. We can mentally filter discounting our positive qualities and accomplishments and dwelling on the negatives. We jump to conclusions “mind-reading” others’ interpretation of our actions assuming others are judging us negatively, even when there is no definitive evidence. We can magnify or minimize our experiences blowing negative experiences or mistakes out of proportion and minimizing positive experiences and contributions. We can internalize blame for things we weren’t responsible for.

AND…one of the most common and potentially hindering cognitive distortions that we engage in is the all-or-nothing distortion. Looking at things in absolutes. Black and white versus shades of gray. We are all susceptible to all-or-nothing thinking. We easily recognize this when we’re talking about food and dieting, but we don’t always see it in other areas of our lives or our work. How one mistake or misstep can lead to us harping on small mistakes or leave us feeling like we might as well just throw in the towel.

Here’s the good news though. There ARE steps we can take to combat cognitive distortions. In this episode, I talk about how we can begin to identify cognitive distortions and put ourselves in a position to shift our mindset in ways that serve our emotional happiness and advancement.

References

Bollen, J., Ten Thij, M., Breithaupt, F., Barron, A. T., Rutter, L. A., Lorenzo-Luaces, L., & Scheffer, M. (2021). Historical language records reveal a surge of cognitive distortions in recent decades. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 118(30), e2102061118.

Abatecola, G., Caputo, A., & Cristofaro, M. (2018). Reviewing cognitive distortions in managerial decision making: toward an integrative co-evolutionary framework. Journal of Management Development.

https://www.betterup.com/blog/all-or-nothing-thinking

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Surviving Workplace Bullying with Zenica Chatman

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 18:00:00 -0400

According to a survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute, one in four American workers have said that they have dealt with workplace bullying. Too often, when women experience workplace discrimination and bullying, we internalize that we are the problem and that does NOT serve us.
In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I speak with certified coach, speaker, and anti-workforce bullying advocate Zenica Chatman to talk about how women can stand up against workplace bullying and help create work environments that are safe and equitable. Zenica authored the Fast Company article Workplace Bullying Eroded my Confidence at Work. Here's how I Recovered. She is the creator of Surviving Corporate Detox group coaching program which helps women establish a healthy relationship with work putting us back into the driver’s seat of our careers by helping us create an unbreakable attitude and unshakeable confidence no matter how toxic the workplace culture is!

#tunein and get unstuck! #advancingwomenpodast

Reference:

https://www.amazon.com/Inclusion-Purpose-Intersectional-Approach-Belonging/dp/0262046555

https://hbr.org/2022/09/the-psychological-toll-of-being-the-only-woman-of-color-at-work

Fast Company Article, By Zenica Chatman: Workplace bullying eroded my confidence at work. Here’s how I recovered: https://www.fastcompany.com/90793262/workplace-bullying-eroded-my-confidence-at-work-heres-how-i-recovered

Learn more about Zenica Chatman and her Surviving Corporate Detox Program:

https://www.zenicachatman.com/

Surviving Corporate Program https://www.zenicachatman.com/group-coaching

https://www.fastcompany.com/90793262/workplace-bullying-eroded-my-confidence-at-work-heres-how-i-recovered

Unlearn and Restore with Alicia Jabbar

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 18:32:56 -0400

I often say when you sit with warriors, the conversation is different! We all need both challenge and support to thrive in our careers and our lives, but this is especially important for women. As women, we face unique biases and barriers that make #mentors, #sponsors, #coaches, and #community even more important. “When women connect in groups, they experience a sense of validation and inspiration that breaks down the barriers limiting their fully expressed leadership in the world.”

There is wisdom in women’s shared experiences. There is power in the tribe!

I am very excited to talk with guest Alicia Jabbar in this episode. Alicia is a coach and facilitator who's designed and delivered more than one hundred women's, leadership programs to dozens of organizations and the public. She is an expert on coaching women working in male-dominated industries. Don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast where we talk about unlearning limiting social conditioning and restoring the nature of who we are as leaders.

Reference:

Learn more about Alicia Jabbar https://www.linkedin.com/in/ajabbar/

To learn more about Alicia’s free November 17th workshop click here: https://www.aliciajabbar.com/womens-leadership-collective

Alicia is launching a new group program in early 2023. Sign up for her newsletter on her website to learn when that becomes available. https://www.aliciajabbar.com/womens-leadership

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The Dark Side of Beauty with Schonte Hamilton

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 21:13:17 -0300

“We live in an age of ugly beauty. Reverence for beauty is just an escape from reality, it is the perpetual adolescent in us refusing to accept a flawed world” ~ author, Nancy Etcoff (Survival of the Prettiest).

Research shows that society has long impacted our standards of beauty, playing a role in affecting beauty trends, body image, and self-esteem, and increasingly this is exacerbated by social media.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, I talk with actress, singer, and songwriter Schonte Hamilton. Schonte is passionate about promoting body positivity and acceptance. She is the CEO of F.A.W.O.C. (For All Women of Color), a company that empowers women of all colors, in the world of entertainment.

We explore deeply entrenched beauty standards and consequences including digitized dysmorphia and the dangerous, even life-threatening lengths women go to in attaining unrealistic beauty standards. We talk about money, power, capitalism, and patriarchy in a multi-billion-dollar industry that creates images of beauty and then “peddles them as opium for the female masses.” Don’t miss this important and timely conversation.

Reference

The Dark Side of Beauty: http://schontehamilton.reclaim.hosting/Visualcommunicationproject/

Henriques, M., & Patnaik, D. (2020). Social media and its effects on beauty. In Beauty-Cosmetic Science, Cultural Issues and Creative Developments. IntechOpen.

Verrastro, V., Liga, F., Cuzzocrea, F., & Gugliandolo, M. C. (2020). Fear the Instagram: beauty stereotypes, body image, and Instagram use in a sample of male and female adolescents. Qwerty-Open and Interdisciplinary Journal of Technology, Culture, and Education, 15(1), 31-49.

https://www.intechopen.com/chapters/73271

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Cultivating Creativity with Illustrator Heather Harris

Mon, 10 Oct 2022 18:00:00 -0300

It takes courage to express the things you are passionate about and to transcend the limits of your comfort zone. Connecting to your creativity is connecting to your courage.

Creativity, like courage, is energy with which you can connect. It is an essential part of who you are, AND it is a practice. Too often people think about creative people or the arts as being endowed from heaven, but as our guest today, illustrator and creator, Heather Harris says “That's not true. You were created, so you are creative!” Don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast with artist and illustrator, Heather Harris here to help us cultivate creativity through developing a creative practice that fits into our busy lives.

Where there is creativity, there is courage, but perhaps more importantly, where there is creativity, there is joy. Hone your creative skills through a creative practice that will open you up to more joy and delight through creativity.

References:

https://heatherlynnharris.com/

Heather’s Pinterest Boards https://www.pinterest.com/heather7667/

https://www.instagram.com/heatherharris.illustration/

Heather’s picture books can be found on her website and are also available on Amazon!

https://www.psychreg.org/creativity-is-courage/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The 4 Ps Advancement Model™ for Women

Mon, 26 Sep 2022 18:00:00 -0300

The advancing women podcast is where empathy meets pragmatism and today's episode is heavy on pragmatism. As ambitious, warrior women, we spend a lot of time and effort working toward professional goals and advancement. Unfortunately, there are many inequitable, sometimes invisible barriers and bias patterns that create an unlevel playing field for women because the system was not designed by or for us. We can't keep playing the game and expecting the outcomes to change. We must change the game and find ways to interrupt the inequitable rules of the game in ways that help serve us.

Enter the 4 Ps Advancement Model™

Necessity is indeed the mother of invention and the best practice advice women have been given is flawed. Mainly because it focuses on fixing women, and we as women are neither broken, nor defective. We don’t need to be fixed. The system is broken and needs to be fixed, and we need to level the playing field. That is why I created this model which can be a highly effective tool for women in transcending and thriving despite inequity and bias.

The 4 Ps Advancement Model™ focuses on problems, patterns, processes, and proficiencies. Don’t miss this episode where I will apply the model to some of the most common biases and barriers women encounter based on evidence-based scientific research.

Despite the host of inequities, biases, and barriers that create an unlevel playing field for women it is possible that we can have the last word in the end if we adopt a mindset and behaviors that better serve us. This model is meant to give you the tools and process you need to define and overcome the real problems that keep far too many qualified, brilliant warrior women from advancing.

Reference:

Antifragility, Resilience, & Grit: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/antifragility-resilience-grit/id1569849100?i=1000538998137

The 4 Ps Advancement Model™ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

What Works for Women at Work https://womensleadership.stanford.edu/whatworks

Williams, J.C. & Dempsey, R. (2014). What Works for Women at Work. Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know. NYU Press.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Compassionate Self-Improvement with Wellness Warrior Erica Golub

Mon, 12 Sep 2022 18:00:00 -0300

September is Self-Improvement Month, a time to reflect on all you've accomplished this year and to think about which goals you still want or need to work toward. Self-Improvement Month encourages us to make conscious and intentional efforts to improve ourselves.

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we approach self-improvement from a more compassionate and self-kind approach. Let’s think about the improvements we need to make, to be better to ourselves and at prioritizing OUR needs. Don’t miss this episode with esteemed guest; Wellness Warrior and certified yoga, mindfulness, and meditation practitioner Erica Golub as we talk about getting back to our center and realigning with our truest selves.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

‎Advancing Women Podcast: Warriors Need Love (and Self-Care) Too! on Apple Podcasts

Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode:

Warriors Need Love (and Self-Care) Too! https://open.spotify.com/episode/6uTy7qmvWJzWt6qpGdYk78?si=5510b577898a4909

Toxic Positivity versus Mental Contrasting

Mon, 29 Aug 2022 18:00:00 -0300

In this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, we explore toxic positivity; a phenomenon where positivity is used to minimize one’s experience, and how this has been painfully exacerbated because of social media which thrives on toxically optimistic outlooks.

Toxic positivity has perpetuated a brushing over of the real inequities and challenges many women face. With empowerment language forced upon us, there can be a false reality that leaves too many talented, empowered women, confused when our “positive vibes” aren’t enough to transcend very real gender bias and inequity in the workplace. Just as it is not healthy to think overly negative thoughts, exaggeratedly positive thoughts can be equally detrimental!

Enter Mental Contrasting…A far more efficacious approach. Mental contrasting is a technique that can help us achieve our goals by encouraging us to identify barriers and take the necessary steps to address obstacles rather than optimistically assuming that what we want and even deserve will materialize with positive thinking and hard work alone.

Learn more in this episode as we challenge meritocracy myths and topic positivity in favor of strategic approaches that serve women and allow us to transcend and thrive.

Resources

4Ps Advancement Model™ https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

How Toxic Positivity Took Over the Internet https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/53737/1/how-toxic-positivity-took-over-the-internet

The Meritocracy Myth (iTunes) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-meritocracy-myth/id1569849100?i=1000542761335

The Meritocracy Myth (Spotify) https://open.spotify.com/episode/18xmxu9MsIFtoJbiwyJz9F?si=6e7e6e79c44543bd

Antifragility, Resilience, & Grit (iTunes) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/antifragility-resilience-grit/id1569849100?i=1000538998137

Antifragility, Resilience, & Grit (Spotify) https://open.spotify.com/episode/40YqOqMdFviN7C5l4Ab4y3?si=9e01f62401144ae9

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Let’s Teach Girls Bravery AND Teach Boys Empathy!

Mon, 15 Aug 2022 18:00:00 -0300

In her popular TEDTalk titled Teach Girls Bravery Not Perfection, Reshma Saujani, the founder of Girls Who Code asserts that we are raising our girls to be perfect, and we're raising our boys to be brave. Saujani says “I worry about our bravery deficit. The bravery deficit is why women are underrepresented in STEM, C-suites, boardrooms, Congress, and pretty much everywhere you look.”

While I don't disagree that girls and women have been overly socialized to avoid risk, in this episode, I challenge assertions and oversimplifications that perpetuate a fix the women, fix the problem narrative.

Sure. Let's talk about teaching girls and women to be braver, but let's ALSO talk about teaching boys and men to be more empathetic. Where is the complimentary TEDTalk to teach girls bravery, not perfection titled teach boys empathy, not aggression?

This episode of the Advancing Women Podcast addresses the negative consequences of a workplace that disproportionately favors leadership traits like confidence and assertiveness when research shows traits like empathy and interpersonal sensitivity are as, if not more important.

In the face of epic leadership failures, tyrannical leadership, and ethical scandals that have destroyed companies and lives, it’s time to talk about how the workforce and what we value in leaders must change. Less fixing the women, more fixing the problem!

Previous Advancing Women Podcast Episodes Referenced in this Episode:

Fear of Failure: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fear-of-failure/id1569849100?i=1000527184290

Tightrope Bias & The Likeability Dilemma: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tightrope-bias-the-likeability-dilemma/id1569849100?i=1000570385546

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://trainingindustry.com/articles/diversity-equity-and-inclusion/women-may-make-better-leaders-than-men-science-shows-feminine-leadership-qualities-that-drive-success/

Resources/Reference:

https://news.usc.edu/30333/When-Stressed-Men-Charge-Ahead-Women-More-Cautious/

https://www.ig.com/en/news-and-trade-ideas/top-10-biggest-corporate-scandals-and-how-they-affected-share-pr-181101

https://www.scarymommy.com/instead-women-apologizing-men-apologize-more

https://hbr.org/2020/04/7-leadership-lessons-men-can-learn-from-women

Living Life to Our Fullest Potential With Margaret Weniger

Mon, 01 Aug 2022 18:00:00 -0300

In a world where high salaries and titles are often considered the pinnacle of success, we can sometimes overlook things like personal happiness, satisfaction, purpose, and reaching our full potential. Winning, collecting the most toys, making the most money, earning the big title, attaining and dominating...that tends to be the language of success. But what if we approach success more holistically? What if we had more conversations about the importance of living life to our fullest potential where we don't have to see success at odds with our happiness, purpose, and wellness? Living life to our fullest potential!

Don’t miss this episode of the advancing women podcast with coach, speaker, and host of Rising Tide Podcast Margaret Weniger. Margaret has interviewed more than 60 top female professionals on her podcast, and she has found that there are five themes that have emerged. Don’t miss this episode where Margaret will share the 5 things successful women are consistently doing that have enabled them to live as the fullest version of themselves.

Learn more about Margaret Weniger and the Rising Tide Podcast here:

TikTok: risingtidepodcast

Instagram: @risingtidepodcast

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/margaretweniger/

Rising Tide Website: https://www.thisisrisingtide.com/

Rising Tide Podcast: Available anywhere people listen to podcasts

Career Crew Blog Article: https://www.thisisrisingtide.com/blog/recipe-for-career-sucess

Learn more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast here:

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Tightrope Bias & The Likeability Dilemma

Mon, 18 Jul 2022 18:00:00 -0300

Have you been called bossy or pushy at work when you were just doing your job? Have you been tough, when necessary, only to be deemed difficult to work for or with? The explanation for this is Tightrope Bias and the Likeability Dilemma.

Research shows that in many workplaces’ women wanting to advance often must take on more “masculine qualities” to get ahead, presenting as more ambitious, assertive, and competitive. Yet we are still expected to maintain our “feminine qualities” of being caring, modest, helpful, and nice. Research also confirms that women who violate stereotypically feminine social norms are often disliked and in turn penalized in their careers for violating gender norms. These inequitable stereotypes and biases result in negative expectations and evaluations of women's performance and potential. It leads women to constantly balance the “tightrope” between being liked and being seen as competent.

We must stop obscuring and downplaying the real penalties women pay for simply doing what they need to do and what men do without penalty to get to the top. The advancing women podcast is where empathy meets pragmatism. It's not our fault, but it is our problem. This episode goes beyond identifying the problem by providing best practice strategies to fix the problem. Don’t miss this episode to learn what we as women can do AND what organizations must do to overcome this workforce barrier.

References:

AWP Episode #35 Sorry Not Sorry: Apologizing, Deflecting, and Undermining (Apple and Spotify Links)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sorry-not-sorry-apologizing-deflecting-and-undermining/id1569849100?i=1000548888371

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4cG6xOdFaTKANila9ZTXn5?si=0e9efd831bb84cd4

AWP Episode #10 The Art & Agony of No (Apple and Spotify Links)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-art-and-agony-of-saying-no/id1569849100?i=1000530813744

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5mKCoN7pVkC9Q5coPELqQm?si=3ee3fae969234c22

AWP Episode #48 The Joy of No (Apple and Spotify Links)

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-joy-of-no-jono/id1569849100?i=1000558693948

https://open.spotify.com/episode/5DdQDqg7SahRNWyCqGEoHF?si=9d120e0b16eb4a04

Robin Hauser: The Likability Dilemma for Women Leaders | TED https://youtu.be/T2I4tus05hI

Williams & Dempsey: What Works for Women at Work

Book: https://nyupress.org/9781479835454/what-works-for-women-at-work/

Video: https://youtu.be/iv8aNdzcvZ0

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Tone Policing, Vocal Fry, & Upspeak

Mon, 04 Jul 2022 18:00:00 -0300

Warrior women, this is an important and timely episode of the Advancing Women Podcast. Our speech, our “tone”, and even the octave of our voice is under attack!

Scrutiny of women’s speaking patterns is the latest frontier in an endless barrage of judgment and undermining women face. It is yet another way to blame women. An attempt to shift the emphasis to fixing women versus doing the hard work of fixing structural, and organizational inequities.

We must see tone policing and commentary about upspeak and vocal fry for what it is. It’s not a peeve that needs to be professionally developed away. It’s not really even about our tone of voice. It’s about power and status, and who is allowed to have it.

Research shows that it is FEMALE vocal fry or up speak that is noticed and criticized. It contributes to negative perceptions of women's BUT NOT MEN’S competence and confidence.

We don’t have to accept the nonsensical ideology that constantly expects women to change. As criticisms mount and gain momentum, we must acknowledge and call out how the workforce keeps adding ridiculous standards for women, finding new ways to suggest deficits and breathe new life into the fix-the-women narrative. We are neither broken nor defective. We don’t need to be fixed.

As always, it’s not your fault, but it is your problem, so don’t miss this episode to learn more about tone policing, upspeak, and vocal fry. As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said "Women belong in all places where decisions are being made”, and all the gendered, inequitable judgment of our character traits and even of our voices and tone won’t change that fact if WE continue to believe – to KNOW - that we belong!

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

Email: drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com

Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

References:

Business Inside Men Use Upspeak and Vocal Fry Too (businessinsider.com)

Harvard Annals of Surgery: Women as Deficit: Re-evaluating Interventions to Establish Gender Equity women-as-deficit-re-evaluating-interventions-to.pdf (massgeneral.org)

Mashable (Rachel Thompson) Stop telling women how they should talk | Mashable

NPR From Upspeak To Vocal Fry: Are We 'Policing' Young Women's Voices? : NPR

The Conversation https://theconversation.com/keep-an-eye-on-vocal-fry-its-all-about-power-status-and-gender-45883#:~:text=Vocal%20fry%20is%20a%20distinct,of%20belonging%20in%20that%20tribe

Time https://time.com/5006345/what-is-vocal-fry/

Upworthy https://www.upworthy.com/what-is-vocal-fry-and-why-doesnt-anyone-care-when-men-talk-like-that

Examples of male vocal fry
https://the-toast.net/2015/07/22/examples-of-male-vocal-fry/

Purpose, Embrace Your Calling with author Jessica Huie

Mon, 20 Jun 2022 19:00:00 -0300

If you ask people the purpose of life, a lot of people will say happiness, but I would argue the purpose of life is to find purpose IN life. As Ralph Waldo Emerson famously said “The purpose of life is not to be happy, it is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate. To have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

I am delighted to have author Jessica Huie on the Advancing Women Podcast. Jessica is an author, entrepreneur, and speaker who runs retreats to help people breathe life into their purpose-driven projects and share them with the world through transformational visibility.

Don’t miss this interview where Jessica shares her journey in finding purpose and discusses her book which has been featured on BBC News, CNN Forbes, and The Sunday Times. Jessica was honored with a member of the order of the British Empire for entrepreneurship and her contribution to diversity by Queen Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace and has been called one of Britain’s most inspiring entrepreneurs and one of the UK’s most influential women. As Jessica says “An incredible congruency occurs when we go beyond the intellect and create from our soul. It is the alchemic combination of inspiration and strategy that creates momentum and magic.” Be inspired in this episode to create from your soul, and to find and embrace your purpose, so YOU too can create momentum and magic.

To learn more about Jessica Huie:

Book Link Purpose: Find Your Truth and Embrace Your Calling

https://www.amazon.com/Purpose-Revised-Truth-Embrace-Calling/dp/1401965229/

The Purpose Retreat Jan 9-16th 2023

https://www.jessicahuie.com/events-2/the-purpose-retreat-jamaica-2021/

The Purpose Academy (Starts again in September 2022)

https://www.jessicahuie.com/the-purpose-academy/

To learn more about Dr. Kimberly DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The Medical Gaslighting of Women: It’s NOT just in your head!

Mon, 06 Jun 2022 20:23:00 -0300

With guest Leah Noonan

Medical gaslighting is when a healthcare provider dismisses your complaints or concerns. They don't take you seriously or blame your symptoms on a vague cause (such as stress) and often send you home without a proper diagnosis or treatment plan. This is what happened to today’s guest for decades.

We live in a world where much of the data we have is based on the male experience. As Feminist author Simone de Beauvoir said, “Representation of the world, like the world itself, is the work of men; they describe it from their own point of view, which they confuse with absolute truth.” The data our society collects, and the perspectives prioritized typically favor men’s experience, not women’s. That data then gets used to allocate research funding and resources and to make decisions about healthcare and how things are designed – including medical standards of care and pain medication.

This episode is about how a world designed around male data can be life-threating.

Like having a heart attack go undiagnosed, because studies show women are 50 percent more likely to be misdiagnosed after a heart attack and more likely overall to have their symptoms dismissed by medical providers. How research shows that compared with men, women face longer waits to be diagnosed with cancer and heart disease, are treated less aggressively for traumatic brain injury, and are less likely to be offered pain medications.

While this continues, women will unnecessarily suffer!

Don’t miss this episode where guest Leah Noonan bravely and candidly shares her gut-wrenching story of decades of medical gaslighting and how she took her health into her own hands and finally got the medical treatment she needed.

Reference:

Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for men by Caroline Criado Perez (book)

https://www.northwell.edu/katz-institute-for-womens-health/articles/gaslighting-in-womens-health

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/03/28/well/live/gaslighting-doctors-patients-health.html

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

One Year Anniversary Episode: It’s Still Not Your Fault!

Mon, 23 May 2022 18:00:00 -0300

Today marks the one-year anniversary since I launched the Advancing Women Podcast. That’s 52 consecutive episodes…52 #newepisode Tuesdays!

This episode addresses what I have learned along the way. It’s about transcending the roadblocks, overcoming resistance, fear, imposter syndrome, negative self-talk, and silencing the inner saboteur.

It’s about gratitude, reaching milestones, and bold radical audacious goals. It’s about continuing to hold up to the light, name, challenge, and disrupt the distasteful and inequitable constructs, biases and barriers that keep far too many talented, warrior women from reaching their full potential. \

We talk about how the mantra for the podcast…how my “WHY” hasn’t changed. It’s where empathy meets pragmatism. In my first episode I said “it’s not your fault, but it is your problem”. Let’s talk about how it is STILL NOT YOUR FAULT, but it IS still your problem – here’s to 54 more episodes to address and transcend.

We will continue to address the unique limitations, biases, barriers and obstacles that women face and to interrupt and disrupt the barriers and stereotypical beliefs that keep talented ambitious go getter women like yourselves from advancing in your lives but importantly to positions of power pay and prestige because this podcast is about helping women claim their rightful seat at the table.

References

Episode #1 of the Advancing Women Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/its-not-your-fault-but-it-is-your-problem/id1569849100?i=1000523414978

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The 3As of Allyship (Acknowledge, Amplify, Act)

Mon, 16 May 2022 21:09:25 -0300

Gender equity is not an issue for women to solve alone, it’s for all of us to solve. This episode of the Advancing Women Podcast addresses allyship and what I call the 3A’s of allyship…Acknowledgement, Amplification, and Action.

Allyship must be more than a philosophy or belief…it is a commitment to action. To being an agent of change. It’s about tangible effort and intent to be a part of the solution.

I address the provisions, assurances, and roadmaps to success existing for men as well as the proven barriers that exist which hinder women and why clinging to beliefs of a pure meritocracy in terms of professional advancement impedes our efforts to find solutions that move the needle for women’s advancement.

This conversation is about making the shift from being a philosophical ally to and ally who amplifies, advocates, and acts in both big and small ways that create impact.

References:

Burke, R. J., & Major, D. A. (Eds.). (2014). Gender in Organizations: Are Men Allies or Adversaries to Women s Career Advancement? Edward Elgar Publishing. Northampton MA, USA

https://hbr.org/2016/04/if-theres-only-one-woman-in-your-candidate-pool-theres-statistically-no-chance-shell-be-hired

https://projecthumanities.asu.edu/content/male-privilege-checklist

https://hbr.org/2021/02/male-allyship-is-about-paying-attention

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The Motherhood Penalty

Mon, 09 May 2022 18:00:00 -0300

Somewhere along the line we have found it acceptable to honor mothers one day each year in May, while penalizing them every other day in the workforce. The research data show a very real motherhood penalty exists in the workforce which results in inequity in all aspects of women's careers from the ability to get hired, to evaluations and promotions, to earnings. This contributes to the #genderpaygap.

Gender stereotypes lead to mothers being less likely to be hired for jobs, to be perceived as competent at work, or to be paid as much as their male colleagues with the same qualifications. For men, conversely, having a child is good for their careers. Fathers are MORE likely to be hired than childless men and tend to be paid more after they have children.

Think that this problem no longer exists and that the laws against discrimination have fixed the problem. Think again, research shows they have not. Tune in to the Advancing Women Podcast to hear more about what we must do to address the real problem; gender bias and specifically maternal wall bias and the #motherhood penalty.

Women should not be overlooked, underpaid, and sidelined for daring to procreate!

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Reference:

https://alltogether.swe.org/2016/05/paying-the-motherhood-penalty/

https://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/07/upshot/a-child-helps-your-career-if-youre-a-man.html?_r=0

https://www.thirdway.org/report/the-fatherhood-bonus-and-the-motherhood-penalty-parenthood-and-the-gender-gap-in-pay

https://www.tlnt.com/ending-the-motherhood-penalty/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/shelleyzalis/2019/02/22/the-motherhood-penalty-why-were-losing-our-best-talent-to-caregiving/?sh=582c2aa046e5

https://www.businessinsider.com/personal-finance/motherhood-penalty

https://www.catalyst.org/research-and-tools/

Conquering Resistance

Mon, 02 May 2022 20:08:14 -0300

Do you ever find yourself working on anything and everything but the thing that you should be working on? This episode addresses resistance. And I have often referred to resistance in my life as the inner saboteur…that voice in the back of your head that gives you all the reasons NOT to act.

This episode is about interrupting procrastination but more importantly, to stop blaming YOURSELF for procrastination, and instead…blame resistance.

Resistance is anything that stops you from taking creative action, including inner fears, negative self-talk ego, and self-doubt. Resistance has one sole mission: to keep things as they are. To maintain the status quo. Resistance will attempt to stop our creative activity through any means necessary, whether it be rationalizing, inspiring fear and anxiety, emphasizing other distractions that require attention, or raising the voice of an inner critic.

This episode is about managing our ego, silencing the inner saboteur, and honing our humility. It’s about learning to recognize resistance when it creeps into our life so we can conquer it and do what needs to be done…to do the things that lead us to our highest purpose and to our best self.

Reference:

Joshua J Anderson https://www.joshuajanderson.com/blog/ego-the-downfall-of-man

Mel Robbins: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Saying-Youre-Fine-Getting/dp/0307716732

Steven Pressfield https://www.amazon.com/War-Art-Winning-Creative-Battle-audio-cd/dp/1501260626

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

The JOY of NO (JONO!)

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 00:21:24 -0300

In the last episode of the Advancing Women Podcast I talked about letting go of FOMO (fear of missing out) to make way for JOMO (joy of missing out). This episode addresses why women disproportionately experience fear of missing because of the COST of missing out. I acknowledge and address societal expectations, stereotypes, and gender bias which can unfairly lead to missing out on future opportunities, loss of professional capital, and even lack of promotion. The very real consequences for women that can come from just saying NO. How for women especially, saying no can be so agonizing, and how shifting from FOMO to JOMO requires us to shift from the GUILT of NO to the JOY of NO.

Of all the advice given to women, none has been as oversimplified as the advice to just “say no”. This advice too easily lends itself to a “blame the women” mentality. This “we do it to ourselves” narrative is not only inaccurate, but it also doesn’t serve us.

This is a really great example of empathy meeting pragmatism. Yes, we must learn to say no, but we don’t have to own the blame because it is not ours to own. This episode is chuck full of strategies to help you move from the guilt of no to the joy of no. Creating boundaries that serve us is not something we need to or should apologize for. We must interrupt the social conditioning that doesn’t serve us and get comfortable with the JOY of no so that we you can make space for those hell yeah opportunities coming your way!

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Turn your FOMO into JOMO!

Mon, 18 Apr 2022 19:09:39 -0300

Fear of missing out (FOMO) is the feeling of apprehension that we are not “in the know.” That we're missing out on events, experiences, or life decisions that could make our lives better. The irony is that the exact opposite tends to be true. Studies suggest that FOMO, that fear of missing out, can lead to extreme dissatisfaction and can have a detrimental effect on our physical and mental health.

And FOMO can be exacerbated by social media which creates a constant, instantaneous window into the lives of others, into seeing all the achievements and high points of others posted daily. And even though we know that social media doesn't give a full and accurate picture of people's lives…even though we get that it's more like a movie trailer or a highlight reel of others good times…that it creates a false reality, it does still impact us, nonetheless.

Enter JOMO – the JOY of missing out. JOMO just may be the direct anecdote to FOMO. It is the joy, the pleasure, rather than regret, derived from living in a quiet or independent way without feeling anxious that we are missing out on exciting or interesting events that may be happening elsewhere.

JOMO can be a purposeful, intentional strategy. It isn’t about lessening our ambition or motivation it's about being motivated to devote our time and energy to things that bring us not only achievement but also joy and balance. Tune in to learn how to turn your FEAR of missing out into the JOY of missing out.

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

References

https://aninjusticemag.com/whom-do-you-love-your-mother-or-her-sacrifices-a951be29f352

https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/between-the-lines/fomo/articleshow/62550811.cms

Fajar Kusnadi Kusumah Putra. (2019). Emerging Travel Trends: Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) Vs Iconic Landmarks. Jurnal Pariwisata Terapan, 3(1), 17–33. https://doi.org/10.22146/jpt.49273

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201807/jomo-the-joy-missing-out

https://www.psycom.net/fomo-to-jomo

Dad’s Don’t Babysit, It’s Called Parenting!

Mon, 11 Apr 2022 18:11:50 -0300

OK warriors - let me know if this sounds familiar. You go out without your kids and see a friend. They say…”whose got the kids?” Meanwhile, your husband goes out with the kids, and he hears "Awe, it's so nice of you to babysit and give mom a break." Sigh.

Or you’re a mom who works outside the home and are frequently asked “How do you juggle it all?” Conversely, your husband, who also works outside the home is asked that question NEVER. Ever feel frustrated when dads get a pat on the back whenever they are out with the kids, while moms often get judged? (You know, the can’t you control that kid, or can’t you keep that kid quiet look!)? Then this is the episode for you!

This episode explores the deeply rooted gender bias and socialization that results in a “second shift” for moms working outside the home. Just as there is a wage gap between men and women in the workplace, there is a "leisure gap" between them at home. We’ll talk about how questions like can women (but not men) “have it all” not only makes it more difficult for working moms, but it also marginalizes fatherhood. We’ll detangle “having it all” versus being expected to DO it all.

We should all be outraged. Outraged by the low bar and the lower expectations which minimize the incredibly vital role fathers play. We must interrupt that gender biased default because it’s not good for women, it’s not good for men, and it’s not good for families. Being a dad is not a secondary role, it’s a primary one. It's not babysitting when a father spends time caring for his children, it's just called being a dad!

References:

https://www.thelily.com/my-husband-and-i-are-equal-partners-why-does-he-get-so-much-more-credit-for-parenting/

https://www.npr.org/2014/07/08/329804378/why-arent-men-asked-if-they-can-have-it-all

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2019/06/12/fathers-day-facts/

https://www.scarymommy.com/dads-get-more-praise-doing-everyday-things

https://www.tlc.com/parenting/dads-are-happier-than-moms--study-says--but-its-not-that-simple

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

A Salute to Moms of Children with Autism

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 23:23:12 -0300

April is autism awareness month. It’s about more than awareness though. It’s about acceptance and appreciation because awareness isn't nearly enough for our kiddos. It is though…a wonderful place to start when we are talking about the experience of autism moms. Research shows that mothers of children with autism have stress levels comparable to those of combat soldiers. As women, as working mothers, we all have challenges, but while we may all be in the same boat, we are not all in the same storm.

This episode is a salute to all the badass warrior autism moms out there fighting tirelessly every day for their children. It is also for the many friends and family that want to know what they can do. Don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to better understand the experience of autism moms and what you can say and do to show empathy and support.

#autismawareness #autismawarenessmonth #autismmom #advancingwomenpodcast #newepisode Reference:

Twin Cities Mom Collective (March 2022). My Secret World as an Autism Mom. https://twincitiesmom.com/my-secret-world-autism-mom/

Recker, L., & Babcock, E. (2021). Parent/Caregiver Burnout with Autism Due to COVID.

Seltzer, M. M., Greenberg, J. S., Hong, J., Smith, L. E., Almeida, D. M., Coe, C., & Stawski, R. S. (2010). Maternal cortisol levels and behavior problems in adolescents and adults with ASD. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 40(4), 457–469. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0887-0

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://now.org/resource/the-gender-pay-gap-myth-vs-fact/

HERstory in History: Honoring Women’s Narratives and Achievements

Mon, 28 Mar 2022 22:19:53 -0300

March is Women’s History Month, and it is a time to acknowledge women’s often untold achievements, but also to acknowledge the importance of female narratives and stories in history. French feminist author Simone de Beauvoir famously said “Representation of the world, like the world itself, is the work of men; they describe it from their own point of view, which they confuse with the absolute truth” and so we must continue to push to tell the stories of women, the history of humanity inclusive of women’s perspective to correct both the invisibility and distortion of the female experience in ways relevant to ending women’s unequal social position.

Don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast with entrepreneur and historian Maria Blair as she talks about her company No Illusions Tours https://www.noillusionstoursbuffalo.com/ and how she tells the stories of our history through the voice, lived experience, and contributions of remarkable women. When men make history, it’s just called “history.” But when women make history, it’s women’s history which suggests the contributions of women are historic and meaningful only for women. But women’s history is all our history. HERstory is our history.

This episode addresses the invisibility of the experience and stories of women, by women, in our history. Sharing the stories of historic women helps celebrate and honor those women who paved the way, and those who are fighting for women today. And importantly, it serves to create a more complete story of humanity and our history. A history which includes the voice and perspective of women.

To learn more about Maria Blair and No Illusions Tours: https://www.noillusionstoursbuffalo.com/

On Instagram https://www.instagram.com/noillusionstours/

Email: NoIllusionsToursBuffalo@gmail.com Phone: 716-870-7698

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Closing the Gender Pay Gap

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 21:46:09 -0300

This episode addresses a problem which has existed for women, since we entered the workforce. A problem that, despite a host of stated commitment and endless implementation of interventions, persists. The gender pay gap. Let’s debunk the myths that continue to perpetuate a narrative that is both incorrect and does not serve women and contributes to gender inequity.

I share data that shows how even after adjusting for years of work experience, industry, and region, men start their careers at higher levels and pay than women and, after starting behind, women often do not catch up. Men move further up the career ladder, they move faster, and are more highly compensated.

There is an abundance of advice offered to women to help “fix” gender inequity, but we need to shift our focus to gender bias in organizational systems that drive that pay gap. This episode addresses the systems, structures, and polices needed to fix the problem. Let’s stop blaming women or trying to fix women. We are not broken! We do not need to be fixed! What we need fixed is the gender pay gap. This episode is about the real problems that need to be fixed, including 1. Affordable and equitable childcare, 2. Gender discrimination and unconscious bias, 3. Socialization, and the shuffling of women into lower paying work, and 4. Same pay for same work (the Paycheck Fairness Act).

To fix the gender pay gap, we need pragmatic solutions that address bias and a long history of inequity and discrimination. That address the practical needs of a diverse, dynamic, 21st century workforce. As American soccer gold medalist Carli Lloyd said “...It’s about doing the right thing, the fair thing. It’s about treating people the way they deserve to be treated, no matter their gender.”

Reference:

Fredrickson, C. (2018). The Lingering Wage Gap from Rosie the Riveter to MeToo. Intereconomics, 53(2), 107. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10272-018-0730-y

The Story Behind the World War II “Kilroy was here” https://www.argunners.com/story-world-war-2-kilroy-was-here/

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast:

Advancing Women Podcast

Interrupt Unconscious Bias and be an Agent of Change

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 21:56:03 -0300

Despite women’s advancement in the overall workplace, a broken pipeline remains with far too many qualified warrior women not advancing to the top levels. If you have ever felt frustrated when you have done all the things to advance, but still you are passed over, or if you have ever felt like the blame has been placed on your shoulders…that you have deficiencies that need to be “fixed” in order to advance when in reality there are systemic inequities and organizational gender biases and barriers that are holding you back, then THIS is an episode you don’t want to miss.

Leaders and decision makers…you have a choice to make. Do you want to be a defender of the status quo, or an agent of change? Leadership can create positive change and have an impact immediately, if we are willing to walk boldly towards our unconscious bias, acknowledge it, and interrupt bias patterns. Don’t miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast to learn more about what you can do to be a part of creating the change we need to level the playing field and foster an equitable workplace culture where we can all thrive.

Reference:

Heilman, M. E. (2012). Gender stereotypes and workplace bias. Research in Organizational Behavior 32, 113-135

Heilman, M. E., & Caleo, S. (2018) Combatting gender discrimination: A lack of fit framework. Group Process and Intergroup Relations, 21(5), 725-744

Wells, J. E., Sartore-Baldwin, M., Walker, N. A., & Gray, C. E. (2020). Stigma consciousness and work outcomes of senior woman administrators: the role of workplace incivility. Journal of Sport Management, 35(1), 69-80

Williams, J., & Dempsey, R. (2014). What works for women at work? New York, NYU Press

For more about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Write-on Sister: Women in Publishing with Janee’ Brown

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 18:41:19 -0400

This week’s episode of the Advancing Women Podcast is about busting multiple boundaries, it’s about women in the entrepreneurial space and women in leadership in the publishing industry.

Despite increases in women’s entrepreneurship, it is still male dominated, and even though publishing tends to employ many women, as in so many domains, the numbers shift when you look at the top. So, I have the perfect guest to discuss these important issues, Publishing CEO Janee' Brown is talking entrepreneurship, publishing, and how to make this the year you add "author" to your bio!

Jenee' also gives us a sneak peak into her exciting new project Pieces of a Women, a collaborative narrative-driven anthology that illustrates the complexities of womanhood through the lens of every woman (Releasing March 8, 2022). The "for us by us" project tells women's stories, to empower women, produced by a woman-owned and operated publishing house - Open Book Publishing.

The history of humanity has largely been told from the male vantage point and that needs to change. Don’t miss this discussion of the role of women in telling the story of humanity. It’s women’s history month, let’s make it all about her-story!

References:

More about Open Book Publishing: https://obpublishing.com/

More about CEO Janee’ Brown: https://www.linkedin.com/in/msjaneeb/

To purchase a copy of Pieces Of a Woman: https://Amin.to/3sEdPca

More about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Leading through an equity lens with Chief Diversity Officer Dr. Latoya Pierce

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 02:00:00 -0400

Ever wonder why despite decades of diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives we are still far from leveling the playing field for women and person of color? We need to lead through and equity lens and create real change that moves the needle in advancing women (and women of color!) to those top-level leadership roles of power, pay, and prestige.

A face at the table is not a voice at the table. Don’t miss this interview with Chief Diversity Officer, the brilliant Dr. Latoya Pierce as she provides a practical and actionable roadmap to a fairer and more equitable workforce. Learn what you can do to be an ally!

We’ll also discuss the important work of Kimberlé Crenshaw who coined the term intersectionality and described it as “a lens through which you can see where power comes and collides, where it interlocks and intersects. It's not simply that there's a race problem. Agender problem here, and a class or LGBTQ problem there, many times that framework erases what happens to people who are subject to all of those things.” Advancing women is about advancing ALL women. Together we rise!

Reference

More about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Learn more about Dr. Latoya Pierce

https://www.linkedin.com/in/latoya-pierce/

Dr. Latoya Pierce Dean for Diversity, Equity and Inclusion and Chief Diversity Officer lpierce@centenary.edu https://www.centenary.edu/

Kimberlé Crenshaw on Intersectionality

https://www.law.columbia.edu/news/archive/kimberle-crenshaw-intersectionality-more-two-decades-later

Affirmations, positive mindset, and abundance with author Mia Shantel

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 20:13:17 -0400

This episode of the Advancing Women Podcasts is about interrupting the outer critic and the inner saboteur with words of wisdom from author @miashantel who shares affirmations from her new book Water for your Garden "Just as you water a garden to enrich life, allow these words to enhance you spiritually." You are the garden!

Water For Your Garden is a compilation of gems from conversations with women in Mia Shantel's ecosystem at various phases of their lives. This piece of work is to be the bright spot in your day when you need that reminder of who you are.

There is power in words. In this episode we talk about training your brain for optimism and gratitude. It’s about developing the habits and practices of gratitude and positivity through affirmations that drive optimism and attract abundance.

References:

More about Dr. DeSimone and the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Learn more about Mia Shantel here! https://www.miashantel.com/

Get the book here! https://www.miashantel.com/book

Published through https://obpublishing.com/about-ob-publishing/

Mia on Instagram Mia Shantel ⚡️'s (@themiashantel) profile on Instagram

That’s What She Said: The Power of Black Women’s Voices

Mon, 14 Feb 2022 19:28:11 -0400

February is black history month, an annual celebration of achievements by African Americans and a time for recognizing their central role in U.S. history. African American women have too often been overlooked in the history of our fight for gender equity. The struggle against racism, sexism, and all other-isms. All must be addressed simultaneously.

This episode honors and quotes many brilliant, brave, black women who fought and fight, to create a fairer and more equitable world.

Don’t miss this episode with the wisdom and inspiration of so many brilliant black women who have provided so much wisdom. These words have tremendous power and impact like the important work of Kimberlé Crenshaw who coined the phrase intersectionality. Crenshaw simply and poignantly said "If we aren’t intersectional, some of us, the most vulnerable, are going to fall through the cracks."

This is at the heart of together we rise, bringing to the forefront that we must consider layers of oppression when we talk about advancing ALL women. As Audra Lord said, “I am not free while any women is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”

Celebrate black history month and honor the many insights of so many brilliant black women including Sojourner Truth, Shirley Chisholm, bell hooks, Pauli Murray, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Audre Lorde, Angela Davis, Dr. Maya Angelou and more!

References:

Hooks, B. (1981). Ain't I a woman: Black women and feminism. Chicago

Hooks, B. Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Cambridge, MA :South End Press

About Kimberlé Crenshaw https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/5/20/18542843/intersectionality-conservatism-law-race-gender-discrimination

Sojourner Truth’s Ain’t I A Woman Speech (read by Dr. Maya Angelou) https://youtu.be/mM4JjuQeqDA

Truth, S. (Original Speech, 1851) https://thehermitage.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Sojourner-Truth_Aint-I-a-Woman_1851.pdf

Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Women in Advertising with CEO Kim Allen

Mon, 07 Feb 2022 23:33:31 -0400

I know this Sunday is the big game so many of us have one thing on our mind. Football! Just kidding. We all know that it's just as much about the ads. Don’t miss this week’s interview with Dixon Schwabl CEO Kim Allen as we discuss how women are represented in advertising both in leadership roles and in the advertisements.

Advertising has a significant impact on shaping and reflecting culture so it is important to understand the collective messages we receive and the impact that diversity and positive representation can have.

Reference:

https://dixonschwabl.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

https://www.greatplacetowork.com/

Self-Compassion versus Self Improvement: How about both?

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 23:03:37 -0400

Do you ever feel like you have to either be tough on yourself OR self-forgiving and self-compassionate? Self-compassion doesn’t have to be in opposition of being goal driven. This episode shows how self-compassion, self-caring, and self-forgiveness can all be the path to success…part of your growth mindset!

February is a month of love and passion – let’s reframe that warriors, and talk about self-love and self-compassion.

It’s not just mindset, it’s skillset and toolset. This episode addresses how we as women who are held to unfair, unattainable, even ridiculous societal expectations can foster the skill of self-acceptance with intention, strategically, in ways that serve us, that are part of, rather than in opposition to, our self-improvement and growth goals.

References:

Dr. Kimberly DeSimone Email: drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcst.com

Advancing Women Podcast: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Dr. Brene Brown on Shame https://youtu.be/5C6UELitWkw

Dr. Kristen Neff on Self-Compassion https://self-compassion.org/

Sorry not sorry: Apologizing, Deflecting, and Undermining

Mon, 24 Jan 2022 21:00:02 -0400

Sometimes growth is about unlearning. Apologizing when we have done something wrong is a real strength, but compulsive apologizing can present as a weakness at work and in personal relationships. Research shows women apologize often and deflect praise in ways that can undermine our ambition.

This episode is NOT about shirking responsibility when we've done something wrong! It IS about ensuring that we don’t undermine or erode our authority by over apologizing, especially when we’ve done nothing wrong.

And the other side of that undermining coin is deflecting compliments. Research shows that women’s accomplishments are often undervalued, and our mistakes are more noticed and remembered, so we don’t want to contribute to the inequity deflecting attention from our accomplishments.

This episode speaks to the mindset shift and the skillset and toolset nuances that can have an impact on how our commentary will be received. We can develop habits that interrupt the biases and inequities that negatively and disproportionately impact women when we are intentional, mindful, and strategic in our communication.

Let’s continue to focus on mindset, skillset, and toolset changes that help interrupt a status quo that doesn't serve women’s success and create systems that help us transcend barriers and thrive. Learn how to shift from subtle undermining habits to habits that serve us…habits we can implement every day in small ways that can add up.

References:

Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Pantene ad (“Sorry not sorry”) https://youtu.be/TcGKxLJ4ZGI

Tightrope Bias (Williams & Dempsey, 2014) https://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/4_common_patterns_of_bias_that_women_face_at_work_and_how_you_can_correct_t

https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2019/07/14/how-women-can-stop-apologizing-and-take-their-power-back/?sh=403632454ce6

Achieving Goals: Mindset, Skillset, Toolset

Mon, 17 Jan 2022 21:52:11 -0400

In continuing with our January focus of transcending barriers and achieving goals this episode is all about success systems and how to assess and strengthen our mindset, skillset, and toolset.

“You do not rise to the level of your goals, but you fall to the level of your systems” (James Clear, 2018, Atomic Habits). Too often we spend a lot of time creating and focusing on goals, when what we really need to do is to focus on the systems necessary to achieve the goal.

Research confirms many unique barriers that we as women encounter that are systemic, organizational biases…not our fault, but definitely our problem! So, we need to be especially mindful of creating intentional, actionable, steps, engaging in a strategic process that disrupt the bias patterns that create barriers to achieving our bold, radical, audacious goals.

Forewarned is forearmed. Identifying the problem and considering solutions WITH EYES WIDE OPEN provides the clarity we need to be proactive. When we see the patterns of bias in the situation, we can respond in a way that better serve our advancement. This is the “Process” P in the 4 Ps Advancement Model. When we see the barriers, we must use process to deconstruct the moving parts so we can clearly and accurately see whether this is a mindset, skillset, or tool set problem and respond accordingly.

This episode will help answer these important questions when we encounter barriers: What is the real problem here? Is this about shifting my mindset? Is it about enhancing my skill set? Do I need to add to my tool set? Achieving goals is about what you think (mindset), what you know (skillset), and what you do (toolset).

Reference:

The 4Ps Advancement Model (Problem/Pattern/Process/Proficiency)

Problem: Identify the problem. How is the identified problem situated within the larger social/organizational/cultural constructs?

Pattern Recognition: Identify pattern: antecedents/barriers/fallacies.

Process: Disrupt bias patterns utilizing the TKD™ Process.

Proficiency: Manifest Super skills, Capitalize on capabilities.

https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

https://jamesclear.com/atomic-habits

Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Accountability Partnerships

Mon, 10 Jan 2022 21:05:10 -0400

What is an accountability partner? Why do you need one? How do you find one?

Check out this week’s episode where we talk about the qualities that are essential in an accountability partner and how accountability partnerships can be the very thing you need to keep those New Years Resolutions and to achieve your bold, radical, audacious goals.

Accountability is a skill which can be developed, but it is important to put the right systems in place. Too often as women, we deprioritize or subordinate our needs and our goals to others and an accountability partner can help. Accountability partnership is about cultivating a tribe of trusted warriors who believe in you, who have your back, who challenge you, and who push you to achieve your goals. An accountability partner will have your best interests at heart and will give it to you straight when you start to question or doubt what you are capable of.

This episode is all about creating systems and adding to the tools you need to achieve your goals and to do so with consistency and commitment.

Resources/Reference:

Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

AWP Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

AWP Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

My Warrior Coaches:

Denette Suddeth: https://suddethinc.com/

Lisa Gillette: https://bigsky.coach/womens-executive-coaching/

https://medium.com/@MaryLouWrites/accountability-partners-what-are-they-and-how-do-i-get-some-c5ebd1a828ef

Bold Radical Audacious Goals (B.R.A.G)

Mon, 03 Jan 2022 19:34:17 -0400

The new year is often a time for resolutions, and I would argue a time for bold, radical, audacious goals. What if brag - this year - wasn't something we see or do on social media, but rather that for 2022 brag could be an acronym for bold, radical, audacious goals.

Bold: of a person action or idea, showing an ability to take risks. Confident and courageous. This episode addresses how we must interrupt the negative external forces that erode confidence and courage.

Radical: of change or action relating to or affecting the fundamental nature of something. Who better to be “radical”…to change the fundamental nature than warrior women? The constant struggle we as women face doing things differently…in a way that benefits US…is by definition…a radical act.

“The process of trying to assimilate into an existing category in many ways runs counter to efforts to produce radical or revolutionary results” ~ Angela Davis

Audacious: showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks. This episode addresses risk and fear of failure, for women, in its full complexity. We’ll address how to proactively identify the unique obstacles that women encounter so we can transcend and thrive.

Goal: the object of a person's ambition or effort, an aim or desired result. This episode explores the best practice advice on goals and goalsetting, but of course, here at the advancing women podcast, we challenge that best practice advice when it is oversimplified creating narratives that don't serve women's success and advancement.

Warriors, lets create those big, radical, audacious goals and with confidence that the universe will conspire to help you achieve your goals. Don't wait. Be bold, be radical, and be audacious with your goals…you've got this!

“And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it” (Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist)

Reference:

The 4Ps Advancement Model https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/4ps-advancement-model-problem-patterns-process-proficiency/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

That’s What She Said!

Mon, 27 Dec 2021 20:27:29 -0400

In last week’s episode I talked about calmness, harmony, comfort, and joy during the holiday season. This week though, as we wrap up 2021, many of us are shifting our mindset. It is the season of setting resolutions, a time for setting goals. A time to be inspired!

So, in this episode we’ll ring in 2022 with words of wisdom from 22 powerful, brilliant, and inspiring women. Their poignant quotes provide lasting insight and inspiration for all women as we continue to work towards, and demand, gender equity for all.

These quotes and the resulting discussion come from a variety of women including women of color, women from the LGBTQ community, and women from countries across the globe. The quotes go as far back as the 1700s through current day. This is about the voice and inspiration of ALL women.

From Abigail Adams, Susan B. Anthony and Lucrecia Mott to Gloria Steinem, Alice Walker, and Audre Lorde, to Doria Shafik, Raicho Hiratsuka, and Simone de Beauvoir to Maya Angelou and Emma Watson – you won’t want to miss this inspiration and insight FROM warrior women, FOR warrior women.

Advancing Women Podcast Website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

Email: drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Tidings of Comfort & Joy

Mon, 20 Dec 2021 22:22:16 -0400

In the winter nature rests. Yes…even Mother Nature rests in the winter. Nature is resting, sleeping, taking it easy – it’s not worrying about blooming – it’s just being. We need to take a lesson from mother nature. For most women…we get busier…much busier in the winter. We feel more stressed with all the holiday prep that so disproportionately drains women of our time and our calm. Of our comfort and our joy.

Too often we as women subordinate our comfort and joy for others. We feel like if we don’t do the things…all the things…others will have less, be disappointed, things will fall through the cracks…so we do everything in our power to mediate that. At great personal cost to our comfort and joy. WE, YOU, are worthy of comfort and joy. Especially this time of year.

So, this episode is focused on YOUR comfort and joy. For how much you consistently care and do for others, you deserve some ease, pleasure, and happiness. Sometimes that takes being intentional in terms of our mindset and our actions. Learn more this episode about the Danish practice of Hygge (coziness & comfort) and the art of joyful living. You my warrior friends are deserving of comfort and joy.

Resources:

https://www.workingmother.com/working-mother-100-best-companies-2020

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Books & Articles:

Joyful: The surprising power of ordinary things to create extraordinary happiness by Ingrid Fetell Lee

The Joy of Less: A Minimalist Guide to Declutter, Organize, and Simplify

The Year of Living Danishly: Uncovering the Secrets of the World's Happiest Country by Helen Russell

The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to Happy Living by Meik Wiking

The HYGGE manifesto https://medium.com/10-bullets-100-words-book-summary/10-bullets-100-words-book-the-little-book-of-hygge-by-meik-wiking-3656e2b8035c

Tug of War Bias, Tokenism & Queen Bee Syndrome

Mon, 13 Dec 2021 22:01:01 -0400

Bias against women creates conflict among women. If there is only one slot for one woman to advance (tokenism) women, of course will feel like they must compete against each other. This is just one example of how gender bias in the environment fuels conflict among women.

With so much of the social media messaging focusing on women empowering women and women supporting women, how do we explain Queen Bee Syndrome – that phenomenon where high ranking women in positions of authority treat the women who work below them more critically than their male counterparts and even that they can oppose or hinder the advancement of other women.

This episode addresses these difficult issues and identifies the biases that contribute to it. What do lobsters in a boiling pot of water have to do with women’s advancement – find out in this episode and learn what we can do to interrupt bias patterns that don’t serve us.

We challenge the narratives that perpetuate the image of women being difficult to work for or with or out of place in senior leadership roles. Narratives that preserve a gendered status quo that just does not work for women. Finally, we discuss what organizations need can do to interrupt Tug of War Bias patterns and reward the behaviors that create supportive environments and keep Queen Bee Syndrome at bay.

Maya Angelou famously said do your best until you know better than do better. That really sums up the purpose of the #advancingwomenpodcast. That more of us can KNOW…and that knowing will help us all DO better.

Learn more at https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Email me to share ideas or feedback @ drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com

Connect on Instagram @ https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Connect of Facebook https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Gender Inequity: It’s not your fault but it is your problem ©

Imposter Syndrome

Mon, 06 Dec 2021 20:19:25 -0400

Women in the workforce, consistently report a very real sense of disparity and otherness. But it’s more than just otherness, we have problematized and even pathologized women to individualize the reasons for gender inequity. Blame the women…Fix the women…rather than address the societal, cultural, and organizational norms that create the barriers.

And one of these problems women are constantly told WE must fix is Imposter Syndrome. This episode addresses the three main themes in the imposter syndrome: 1. Not believing you deserve the success you have achieved. 2. A feeling of fraudulence about that success. 3. A feeling of dread that you will be “found out”. But we will also consider context when we are discussing imposter syndrome. Although research has shown that both men and women can experience the phenomenon – it is women, who tend to be the focus of the advice, workshops, books, and professional development initiatives aimed at overcoming the problem.

It is unfair to make this a women problem, BUT we should consider how women and persons of color disproportionately experience many workforce biases that HAVE contributed to the problem. Research shows that imposter syndrome is magnified by societal and organizational influences, and it is creating a culture of belonging rather than fixing women that is needed.

Organizations need to “lean in” to creating true belonging and rethinking organizational "fit". When we as women feel imposter syndrome it isn’t inherent to our gender it is amplified by the many biases we talk about here at the Advancing Women Podcast: stereotype threat, ideal worker norms, prescriptive gender stereotypes, think leader think male bias, tightrope bias, prove it again bias, in group/out group bias, and lack of fit, all which create the feelings of lack of belonging that perpetuate imposter syndrome. As Tulshyan and Burey note in their Harvard Business Review Article Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome “Imposter syndrome directs our view toward fixing women at work instead of fixing the places where women work.” In short, more focus on fixing the structural and organizational problems, less focus on fixing the women. #impostersyndrome #genderequity

“It’s not your fault, but it is your problem” ©

Learn more at my website: https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/advancingwomenpodcast/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberly-desimone-phd-mba-ba00b88/

Reference:

https://www.ted.com/talks/jodi_ann_burey_the_myth_of_bringing_your_full_authentic_self_to_work?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome

Powerful Women Unite: Rise of the “Sheconomy”

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 21:39:47 -0400

Tis the season…to flex your consumer power and help support women and women’s advancement. This episode encourages us all to think intentionally and strategically about the choices we make with our dollars and how our choices can impact gender equity.

We talk about the inequities women face in every episode of the Advancing Women Podcasts and an important part of that conversation is the economic consequences women face because of those workplace inequities. We also talk about a gendered power differential that exists unfairly in most public and professional domains...but there is one domain where women indisputably hold a great deal of power. Consumer power. The “Sheconomy”.

Women make up half of the U.S. population, but control or influence 85% of consumer spending and so we need to think strategically and intentionally about how our considerable consumer power can encourage - demand even- that companies think differently about prioritizing gender equity to help close the gender leadership gap.

Learn how to invest in women, and support women by pushing for corporate social responsibility in an intentional way which demands – with our dollars – that companies get on board or suffer the economic consequences of not doing right by women. #togetherwerise #supportwomen #sheconomy #womensupportingwomen #supportwomenentrepreneurs #supportwomeninbusiness

Gender Diversity Index https://www.equilar.com/reports/74-q1-2020-equilar-gender-diversity-index.html

https://www.nbcnews.com/select/amp/ncna1260044

The Meritocracy Myth

Mon, 22 Nov 2021 17:45:06 -0400

Everyone loves the idea of a level playing field. This expectation of fair competition underlies assumptions that the workforce is a meritocracy. A meritocracy is a system in which power, growth and advancement are vested in individual people based solely on talent, effort, and achievement…that advancement in such a system is based solely on performance as measured through objective criteria and demonstrated achievement.

Meritocracy principles are built on assumptions that evaluations in the workforce are objective, but we know that as humans we are NOT capable of being completely objective. And if we know that, we can be realistic about the limitations of meritocracy principles in organizations where much of our evaluation in hiring and promoting is NOT based on purely objective criteria, despite our utopian belief and desire for this to be the case.

This episode holds the idea of meritocracy and women’s advancement up the scrutiny of the scientific knowledge of human behavior, biases and blind spots and the erroneous assumptions that guide meritocratic ideologies which ultimately serve to hinder women’s advancement.

Meritocracy can lead to framing the bias against, and resulting exclusion of, women in top-level positions of power pay and prestige as a failure to measure up. It suggests the problem lies outside of the organization and structural issues placing the blame directly on the shoulders of warrior women and that needs to be acknowledged, and interrupted. We’ll do just that in today’s episode of the Advancing Women Podcast, where empathy meets pragmatism…

“It’s not your fault, but it is your problem”™

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meritocracy

The Advancing Women Podcast Advancing Women Podcast

50/20 Vision: The Wisdom of Warriors

Mon, 15 Nov 2021 17:50:23 -0400

Today's podcast is my 25th episode on my 50th birthday and it is about the wisdom and clarity of fifty. What my 50-year-old self wishes my 20-year-old self knew. I invited my two best friends, my most trusted warrior tribe to this group mentoring session. It’s a combined 150 years of experience in navigating the world’s biases and barriers as warrior women.

Come celebrate my 50th with me today! Whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, you won’t be disappointed!

https://www.microloanfoundation.org.uk/events/wla-coachathon-2021/

Instagram: @advancingwomenpodcast

Facebook: @advancingwomenpodcast https://www.facebook.com/advancingwomenpodcast

Email: drdesimone@advancingwomenpodcast.com

The Ambition Penalty

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 22:19:21 -0400

With special guest nationally recognized money expert, Stephanie O'Connell Rodriguez

Too often women's success is attributed to luck rather than hard work and ambition, and even worse, if women are acknowledged for their ambition, it can be seen as aggressive.

Ever feel like ambitious men are meant to be celebrated while ambitious women too often are criticized and experience backlash? Or that women are told to always negotiate and speak up more to close gender gaps, but when they do, they face consequences? You don’t want to miss this episode of the Advancing Women Podcast https://advancingwomenpodcast.com/

Learn more about Stephanie O’Connell here at

https://stefanieoconnell.com/

Learn more about the ambition Penalty at

https://ambition.bulletin.com/

Global Equity for All Women

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 15:53:41 -0300

Warrior Women…Together we rise! This means ALL WOMEN.

There are still many societal structures, norms, and even laws that inhibit women’s opportunities, advancement, and economic potential. We see it here in the United States, but it exists across the globe, and it is much worse in many parts of the world

The United Nations has called Gender Equity the “unfinished business of our time.” Women and girls represent half the worlds population, therefore also half it’s potential. When women do better, economies do better. This means all women.

It is on all of us fighting for gender equity to see it as a global imperative, not just here, but everywhere. We must heed the call to dismantle barriers for women and girls’ full participation in the socio-economic development of their countries. Eliminating financial bottlenecks allows women to participate in decision-making which can transform families and communities. “We know that when women are empowered, they immeasurably improve the lives of everyone around them – their families, their communities, and their countries” (Hillary Clinton).

To that end I am extremely excited to talk in this episode about a true win-win opportunity for us to help enable some of the world’s poorest people to work their own way out of poverty helping them start successful businesses to build independence and financial resilience.

Mother Theresa said, “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” So, tune in to this episode to see how you can help “cast a stone across the water” to help empower the women of #Africa so they can improve the lives of everyone around them while benefiting from coaching that will create impact in your personal and professional advancement.

Resources:

Find out more about how the Microloan Foundation has helped hundreds of thousands of women living in poverty across the globe https://www.microloanfoundation.org.uk/about-us/

Learn more about the Women Leaders Association (WLA) Coachathon 2021

On Wednesday November 17th hundreds of coaches around the world will be participating in the #wlacoachathon2021 in partnership with the MicroLoan Foundation offering 45-minute individual leadership coaching sessions in exchange for a minimum donation of $35 to the MicroLoan Foundation. 100% of each donation will support women in Africa by providing the skills and tools needed to start a small business, generate income, pay for healthcare, and/or send their children to school.

This is a great opportunity to invest in your own professional or personal development while contributing to an important cause.

Change your life and the life of a woman facing extreme poverty. Learn more here:
https://lnkd.in/ggSb2_iC

my link: https://lnkd.in/gYjfU9vp)

Today's Guest: Certified Executive Coach Denette Suddeth

https://www.linkedin.com/in/denettesuddeth

Does Gender Neutrality Mean Women & Girls Lose?

Mon, 25 Oct 2021 21:42:06 -0300

How does gender neutrality differ from gender tolerance, and what does that mean in a culture of androcentrism, where male is often seen as the default? Simone de Beauvoir, the writer, and philosopher said “humanity is male, and man defines women, not in herself, but as relative to him. She is not regarded as an autonomous being. He is the subject. He is the absolute, she is the other.”

Don’t think so? It is everywhere, even in your everyday shopping experiences. Ever notice when you’re shopping that there are “razors” (the default, found in the men’s aisle) then “women’s razors” (usually pink, found in the women’s aisle)? Or how the blue t-ball set in the toy section is the “t-ball set” while the purple t-ball set is titled the “girls t-ball set”? “He is the absolute, she is the other.”

Our history of androcentrism is well entrenched. If we say men, that also means women, but if we say women, we do not mean men. When we hear all men are created equal, that means people (both men AND women). But if we hear all women are created equal, that means women only. Only one is seen as the default. The other is not. Men means everyone. People. Women…means women.

What happens if we incorrectly believe that gender neutrality is the same as gender equality? In this episode we talk about gender neutrality, gender tolerance, and gender norms and the potential unintended consequences of gender neutrality when we don’t also consider gender tolerance in terms of devaluing traits considered feminine.

Caroline Criado-Perez notes in her book Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men that much of our recorded human history is one giant data gap whereby the lives of men have been taken to represent the lives of humans overall. If gender neutrality represents the absence of gender, does that really mean it will represent men and the male experience (the male default)? If we emphasize gender neutrality instead of gender tolerance will femininity and all who express it lose? This is a timely conversation we need to be having to ensure that unintended male bias that attempts to pass itself off as gender neutral does not sneak into our efforts to create a more gender equitable world.

#genderequity #gendertolerance #genderneutrality #androcentrism #

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