Dave passes the caretaker torch and talks about dharma transmission, continuous practice, and never ending revolutions. Can we honor the past without being doomed to repeat it? Were the great masters of the past ever supposed to be role models? Are our charismatic teachers what’s holding us back? Find out here!

Sara kicks off the holiday season with a Zen look at nostalgia, going home, and living the past right here in the present moment. How do we honor where we’ve been without missing where we are? Does trying to live in the present mean we’re avoiding the past? Is the past a place never to be met again, or does it always exist everywhere?? Find out here!!

Long time sangha stalwart and dear friend Resa Alboher brings us the epic adventure of what brought her to ACZC across continents, decades of earth shaking world events, and moments of life altering personal ones as well. What do we with the koan we didn’t want? How do we sit still when lying down is all we can actually manage? And just what was the Buddhist scene in Moscow like at the fall of the USSR?? Find out here!

Dave gives us an exhortation to  hopeless faith for the hopelessly secular who might still be in the market for meaning and purpose. Can we really base a strong and sincere faith on literally nothing? Can skepticism and doubt be both the prison and the way out? Is it possible to believe in something you don’t already believe in? Is any of this up to us if the truth is it was never actually about us?? Find out here!!

Jordan bravely wades into the muddy waters of shi*t talk and judgements in Zen. Our vows tell us to not criticize, they also tell us to tell the truth…  Is liberation always polite? How much self-regulation is healthy in a relationship? Can denigration be a trust building exercise? Are the kids becoming unreasonably nice?? Find out here!

Dave tries to find a harmony between practiced embodiment and practical economics while sinking into the ocean of sound, being, and time. Is there an honest living waiting for us on the other side of our pretensions? Can we be sincere while still being savvy? Was monastery life awesome actually despite everything we may have said previously?? Find out here!

Patrick gives a passionate exhortation for Kodo Sawaki’s classic encouragement “Zazen is good for nothing.” What do we lose trying to shape our time to fit a purpose? What is the point of a profitless pursuit? Why don’t these zennies want to admit how good zazen really is for us?? Find out here!

Dave tries to find out if Zen is a wellness practice or a sincere spiritual practice and what the difference might or might not be. Is wellness good for you? Is Zen supposed to be good for you? Can meditation make you too powerful?? FInd out here!

Sara raises some deep questions about femininity and masculinity in Zen while looking back on her own life of practice. Were our teachings and techniques really built for all who might attend? Is there a practice that can build us up as much as it breaks us down? Does a meditation of dropping off risk some voices disappearing entirely?? Find out here!

Dave goes looking for confidence in a world of certain uncertainty with the story of the time Buddha touched grass and knew one thing for certain. What can we know for certain when the whole world seems to disagree with what we see? Is there a non hubristic confidence that can’t be shaken despite all the slings, arrows, and earthquakes that come our way? Is there a non-dogmatic certainty so strong it can shake the earth right back?? Find out here.

Chris opens up the pandoras box of trying to productively deal with anger. We get angry, we vow not to indulge it, we know we can’t wish it away. Is it wisdom, skill, or spiritual bypassing to pretend not to be angry when we actually are? Can we be a jerk without being a jerk? And was driving ever a sane thing to do?? Find out here!

Dave looks into harmony and discord, and whether trying to all just get along  means suppressing our unruly little individualities (as much of our teachings and training seem to suggest), weaving myths and legends from across continents and centuries along the way, and bonus! A fresh original translation of the Harmony of Difference and Equality. Is your success as dangerous to society as some might say? Is inconsistent practice a worthy practice of its own? Can we invite discord to the party without ruining the party? Find out here!

Samm brings us the unvarnished story of what she’s doing and why she’s here as a second generation Zennie growing up in Buddhist America; a story of snake oil salesmen, tyrants, a revenge best served warm, and a Buddhism that somehow survives despite everything us humans try to throw at it. Should we trust the spiritually special? Is it possible to disidentify from your own narrative? Is it ok to wear shorts in the zendo?? Let’s find out!

Dave takes us out to the odd intersection where the warm fuzzies of scrappy boot strap community organizing meet the wild and wonderful mysticisms of space, time, and being. Can all that trippy transcendent brain candy of Zen philosophy help ground us in the things that matter most, or are they just one more pretension waiting to be let go? Is it possible to live an authentic meaningful life in the 21st century? is it possible to afford to? is it even possible not to?? Find out here!

Patrick draws on the full education of his bartending certificate and his sobriety chips to sort through our most intoxicating impulses with a deeply person talk on the 5th precept - no dealing in intoxicants. Can good Buddhists still enjoy a little beer? How can Zen help us control our addictive impulses? Is the desire for self control just one more addictive desire? And is that new fangled weed the kids are smoking getting them too damn high?? Find out here!

Do we need to change the world, or do we need to change ourselves? Dave tries to figure out if Buddhism is advocating for supreme personal responsibility, or ultimate social accountability. How do we take responsibility for a world, self, and circumstances we don’t have any real control over and technically are all emptiness anyway? Is anything ever anyone’s fault? Does the universe being all one bright pearl mean we can’t actually get mad at it? Find out here!!

Robert demonstrates how creativity can lead to realization in an autobiography of deconstructing himself through sound and music, complete with all the bells and whistles (literally!) as he plays us a symphony of revealing irrationalities. Can we find spiritual security through sound? Is reveling in art just another attachment, or an opportunity for letting go? Are our favorite earworms a distraction or a revelation?? Find out here!

Dave takes a nitty gritty bare bones look at spiritual attainments in Buddhism while trying to find out where Zen gets it credibility from, whether we can trust them on that, and what we can aspire to ourselves. What are the stages of meditation that lead to awakening? What’s beyond them? Is the idea of dharma transmission just good PR? And if we do manage to drop off the cliffs of enlightenment, will anyone else be there to catch us?? Find out here!

Jitsujo helps us find a way through the stuckness of the internalized hierarchies that can both hold us back from actual freedom, and propel us forward into the little awakenings that we can only ever come to on our own. How do we inspire ourselves when our role models and ideals lose their luster? Why should we follow forms and rituals once we’ve seen through them? If we see a fork in the road, do we really have to take it?? Find out here!

Sara tries to find out what it takes to find contentment in any weather. Do we owe it to the world to be pleasant people, and if not can our bs be at least entertaining? Are we obligated to not inflict our negativity on others? Which coast has the better weather for aimless wandering? Is it the heat or is it the humidity?? Find out here!

After a messy month of his own, Dave gives us a Zen (and personal) look at conflict in practice, how it happens, whether it’s a problem, and how to work with it in meditation and maybe even with other people. Can we meditate arguments away? Is there a healthy way to incorporate difficult relationships into our lives? For the sake of cleaning up all of our messes effortlessly, should ACZC invest in one of those fancy Japanese toilets?? Find out here!

Gyokei has an unfortunate incident at his temple and takes the opportunity to contemplate his life choices, question entanglements, questions the tradition, and give us a little deep dive into everyone’s favorite poet monk, Ryokan, the patron saint of going reverently rogue. Are all rogues and rebels doomed to being respected? Do our teachers need to find their own teachers? Is it possible to leave behind the worlds that let us down?? Find out here!

Dave gives us a raw and honest report on his personal experience at the monastery over the Spring. Does Zen inherently breed cruelty and can we find a healthy place for the sociopaths in our lives? Does imagination and creativity have a place in a tradition of, well, strict tradition? Is having faith in your religion ultimately a help or a hindrance?? Find out here!

Dave returns home from his final round of monastery training with a few thoughts on this whole Zen thing (and a two parter of a talk). This week! The historical context of monks and how and why we train them (next week - personal stories…). Is what we call classical Zen practice actually just obedience training for unruly adolescents? Have we misunderstood Zen and Buddhism entirely? How did monasticism go from being a loose group of sincere seekers to a position of institutional prestige? Did the policies meant to cynically destroy Zen ironically save it? Or did they work and now we’re just sitting in the corpse of wisdom? Find out here!

Muhō, Former longtime abbot of Antaiji Monastery (home temple of Kodo Sawaki), treats us to a talk about best practices for farming students and the self, and why zazen alone might not be the answer to Zen. Do each of us really create the whole universe, and if so, how is our practice not about ourselves? Is just sitting enough? Can we teach a cucumber to grow itself? Why can’t pumpkins just get along?? Find out here! (Recorded live at Toshoji Monastery)

In a particularly divided year, in a particularly divisive culture, Emily tackles the uncomfortableness of living with other human beings, and how to manage argument and conflict as a practice all their own. When should we speak up and when should we just listen? Is hell other people, or is being truly alone? Has anyone ever convinced anyone of anything? Find out here!

Corey gets a bad diagnosis and gets inspired to give us some Zen teachings on sickness - how to deal with it, how to view it, and how to work with it as practice. Can we meditate the pain away? Do we take care of the sick, or do the sick take care of us? Does it only get worse? Find out here!

First, we learn to be good. Then we have that goodness shattered. And then, when we stop trying to do anything, the true goodness can shine through. Dave walks us through Baizhang’s three teachings to try to find out if we are inherently good or bad by nature and whether thinking like that does us any good. Did we really learn everything we need to know in kindergarten or have we just forgotten how cruel kids can be? Are dogs ever to blame (absolutely not)? Are cats (ok, maybe)? Has scolding someone every helped anyone?? Find out here!

Jordan takes us on a guided tour of our ancient twisted karma - what it is, where it comes from, and what the hell we’re supposed to do with it. Are we better people when we’re not being good? Can we blame our parents for being our parents? Can we blame ourselves for being ourselves? Do we need more therapy or do we need more Zen? Find out here!

Henry brings us a highly entertaining poetry hour as we follow the the lives and words of two Buddhist poets; Miyazawa Kenji trying to help the masses one annoyed farmer at a time, and Santoka Kenji picking himself up from a life of tragedy to drink himself into a sutra steeped stupor. What does it take to live a free life, an honest life, and/or a helpful life? Does the world want to be changed or be accepted as it is? Is just being your self ultimately being selfish? Find out here!

Dave indulges us in a little story time while also indulging in some explananing of how koans work with a classic tale of dharma drama, jealous rivalries, and onomatopoetic poetry. What should we ask in practice discussion when we don’t know what to say? Can we find a safe place for our passions instead of practicing them away? Does every living creature really die alone, and wait… isn’t that something we all share?? Find out here!

Sara revels in the nightmare of a beautiful spring evening, the fragility of the daffodils, the darkness of the rain, and the five powers that can turn that nightmare into a perfectly present dream. How do we remember to notice the cool breeze of a deep blue twilight when all we feel is dark? Can we include fear and pessimism in our all inclusiveness, or are they the absence of all inclusiveness? And will anyone remember to bring light and laughter to the bodhisattva of light and laughter? Find out here!

Emily brings us a meditation on problems, problem solving, and all the machinations, rationalizations, and somersaults we do to try to prove that our problems are somewhere outside of ourselves, and then what happens when we start to point that finger right back where it came from. When is the problem actually other people? Have we earned that sense of superiority we get from meditating while our partners are sleeping in? Are our thoughts pulling us away from ourselves, and is that even possible?? Find out here!

Dave tries to figure out his purpose and articulate what meaning in Zen is while trying to give a talk in a park with threatening geese and impending rain on a retreat not going entirely to plan. What are the stages of meaning making and how do we rate? Is Dave’s level as off the charts as he claims? And what are the secret criteria for trustworthy lay leaders and Zen teachers?? Find out here!

Sara marks her five year anniversary with ACZC by taking stock and admitting how maybe all this goalless practice has changed her for the better, while the sangha takes the opportunity to get personal and share what’s working, what’s not, and how those kind of assessments may or may not be working out for them. Will we ever be able to untangle the big ball of yarn that is ourselves? Will the sangha exhaust the limits of that metaphor? (absolutely... knot!) Find out here!

Dave takes us on a historical, literary,  and autobiographical tour of the Heart Sutra to see what exactly it has to say that’s so important we’ve been belting it out every morning for a couple thousand years. Is there a practical meaning behind the nonsense of it all? How do we wish love to the dead in a way that enlivens everyone? Are we ultimately existentially alone? Is emptiness a yawning chasm of despair or the gate of liberation standing wide open and just waiting for us to walk through? Find out here!

Tanya brings us some wise warnings about our purported wisdoms with an in depth look at spiritual bypassing; what it is, how to know when we’re doing it, and how it might be holding us back from the real peace we’re trying to claim. Is our practice making us the cool, calm, collected people we always whished to be, or is that just another delusion we’re clinging to? What kind of grit does it take to get to the good sit? And how do we (or should we...) tell our noisy neighbors they’re being too loud? Find out here!

Robert explores the intersection of experimental music and zazen from Buddha to John Cage, in a fascinating real time experiment in music, mind, and sound. What’s the difference between music and being, composition and compassion? Where is the mind? What is the mind? What masterpieces have been waiting right here and now for us to find? Find out here!

Dave gives us his “See Y’all Soon” address before hungry ghosting us for the Spring with a look at some favorite poetry about learning to see the nuances and subtleties and what it means to be self fulfilled. Are we enough for ourselves? Can we light up the world without ever shining? Are American Buddhists too conflict averse? Or is Zen too amoral and heavily meditated to concern itself? Find out here!

Gyokei pulls back the curtain on the rituals and forms of Zen, the true koan of the Soto School, to find out if there's any meaning in the method or maybe even some practical value to our venerations. Who are we doing these rituals for anyway? Why don’t they want us to be good at our jobs? How do we move like a hummingbird and when should we move like a rhino? Find out here!!

Great sangha friend Jitusjo brings us hard won personal tips and tricks for navigating the confusion and fear of the inner world, and the discomfort we might find when we honestly shine the light inward. How can we read a room by listening to ourselves? Are we lonely, or is that just what the loneliness wants us to think? How do we let down our guard and be vulnerable when there are real things out there to guard against?? Find out here!

Long time sangha friend Pedro Peres regales us with the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here - from early forays into beating koans at their own game, to communities built around the beauty of emptiness, and chasing that certain something missing that just might be the real liberation we were looking for all along. Why do we avoid the cushion when we know damn well how well it works? Are we better off without an answer to life, the universe, and everything? Do we need more zazen or do we need more sleep?? Find out here!!

In the final installment of his paramita series, Dave unravels the subtle mysteries of prajna, aka perfect wisdom, aka the great unknowable truth that’s supposedly the only truth you need to know. What is the ultimate truth in Zen, can we get access to it, and will it help us if we do?? Find out here!!

Heather opens up the Pandora’s Box of zazen and takes a hard and healing look at the hidden aspects of ourselves that inevitably unhide themselves through regular sitting. How do we cope when we start to see through our own coping mechanisms? What do we do in the messy middle when we start seeing our mistakes all too clearly, but before we’ve learned how not to make them? How are we supposed take personal responsibility for the faults of others without making it all about us??

Gyokei unravels the deeper meaning of Dharma Combat on the eve of ACZC’s first ever attempt at such a ceremony.  What qualifies someone to be a Zen teacher? Is a vow to liberate all beings actually good for us? Is it as arrogant as it sounds?? And at what point does healthy humility turn into les healthy self depreciation?? Find out here!

Dave celebrates the year of the wood dragon with evocative writings on dragons, frogs, and earthworms singing through the hollow trees of you and me. What can we hold onto when everything falls away? What’s the voice that speaks through you when you find nothing to say? Who’s the little person deep inside stoking the flames of our anxiety, and can we talk them into taking a well earned break? Can we find a word in English that means grief and liberation at the same time?? Let’s find out.

Gyokei gives us fully fleshed out, bare bones official Soto Zen explanations and instructions for zazen -  body, breath, and mind. How does it work? How much should it hurt? Are Westerners doing it right? Is Japan doing it right?? Is Gyokei doing it enough? And did the monastery permanently screw up his zazen?? Find out here!

In the penultimate episode to our paramita series, Dave takes on the big one for Zen - meditation (aka Zen). We all know it’s what we do, but maybe it’s time to peel back the curtain on all Zen’s cagey double speak and reveal the method behind the madness. How did we arrive at the somewhat sly ironic style that we (don’t so much) teach here? What was it traditionally supposed to accomplish, how was it supposed to work, and are we still accomplishing that here? Can we really learn contentment and does that actually lead to wisdom? Will we get the five magical powers and will we want them if we do?? Find out here!

Patrick brings us the timeless tale of a Catholic kid trading his faith for the freedom of not quite knowing what the h*ll he’s doing. Along the way we get 30 years worth of ironic wisdom bombs, gleaned from a myriad of likable and unlikely teachers met across decades of practice. Can we lose our religion while still keeping the faith? How do we live up to being our own teacher, while not turning Zen into a self stunted choose your own adventure? After all these years of not living up to our name, has our So Cal Zen center finally given us a perfectly poetic surfing/zazen analogy? Find out here!!

Dave takes an honest look at energy, the much lauded and lamented fourth paramita, along with all the reasons such things might often feel out of reach. Is Buddhism trying to flatten us out or is there room for passion in our practice? How are we expected to lift ourselves up when all we feel is down? Do we need to have purpose to practice, and if so, where in all that goaless emptiness have they been hiding it?? Find out here!!

Sara reflects on the holidays and turns the page on a new year with a simple but endless question, how do we live when we know we’re going to die? Also, what to do when you suddenly realize you’ve gone from wacky aunt to wacky family matriarch without even having applied for the promotion. Are hidden dark forces out there controlling the world, and if so, what are they to us? Is Buddhism a nihilistic philosophy? Is Sara a closet nihilist?? Find out here!

Dave rings in the New Year with an unflinching dive into darkness - what it means in Zen, why it’s nothing to be scared of, and why the light isn’t always as illuminating as we’ve been led to believe; including a bonus cameo from everyone’s favorite angry farmer poet, Wendell Berry, plus a fresh original translation of the Zazenshin (the point of zazen). Are we content with half truths or are we ready for the dark ones? Have we been lied to about the Point of Zazen? Can we procrastinate our way into productivity?? Find out here!

Dave brings us a special podcast exclusive Holiday Story Time, with a dramatic reading of a somewhat bananas Buddhist folktale about a young king and his flying elephant trying to get good at giving. It’s a story for the season about the spirit of generosity and the awkward joys of family. Can we be too supportive of our kids? Is there such a thing as being too generous? Should we trust our parents? And speaking of which, how much should we trust Buddhism?? Find out here!

Jason dives into Dogen’s treatise on the flowery delights of delusion - ‘Space Flowers,’ while discussing the inspiration behind his recent benefit print for ACZC. Along the way we get a bonus peek behind the creative curtain and a constellation of poetic ponderings on the nature of what we see and whether or not we can accurately call that reality. Can we stop seeing delusions? Should we? And if not, what should we do with them? And will we ever wise up enough to be satisfied with unsatisfying Zen answers? Find out here!

Dave dives back into the paramitas to learn about patience and finds out that Buddha apparently agrees with Sartre, hell is other people. Along the way we get some personal stories about the time Dave funded his monastic career by accidentally beating capitalism at its own game and learned to like other people by losing faith in himself. Should we blame society for the world’s ills, or ourselves? How are we supposed to accept circumstances that are unacceptable? Is the rational math of economics really just an exercise in wishful thinking?? Find out here!

In our final retreat wrap up, Gyokei gives us an on the spot translation of a Komazawa University hot take on Ungan and Dogo’s famous exchange about how exactly the Great Compassionate Mind might be working, along with juicy stories and hard won wisdoms Gyokei’s picked up along the way. Can we avoid being compassionate even if we wanted to? Are we always doing what we want whether we want to or not? Who do Buddhists pray to, and is it working? And why do some people turn out better or worse than others, and could Soto Shu use a little more education in that department?? Find out here!

I can't hate myself. It just doesn't make sense.” - Sara Campbell

Following up on our retreat theme of compassion and the five skandas, Sara gives us a raw and revealing look at self compassion. Plus, she gives us the naked truth of what it was like to be Zen Center caretaker over the summer. What techniques and theories does Zen offer for cultivating self compassion and is there more to zen than zazen? Where does love and appreciation go when it can’t find its way back home? And how do we find time for self care when the problem is we’re stretched too thin in the first place?? Find out here!

Dave gives a pep talk for the deep practice of retreat (and in general) while introducing our theme for the season - the Compassion Monster, aka a Carnage of Compassion, aka the truth that everything you do, in all of your inglorious incarnations, has great value for everyone whether you believe it or not. It’s a mashup of pie in the sky mystery along with brass tacks basic technique for how we might start to notice that undeniably. Can we be any better for the world if we tried? Can we grow up AND stay weird? How should we respond to the things that go bump in the night? Find out here!

After finding benefits in affirmative mantra practices, Sara looks back on Zen emptiness teachings to find out if there really is a contradiction between self empowerment and the enlightenment of letting go of that self entirely. What’s the difference between dropping off the self and willfully keeping it down? Is aimlessness an aspiration? Are you a bad MF and does god love you?? Find out here!

Dave looks at morality in part two of his series on the paramitas, and tries to figure out what makes a good person and if that’s actually something worth aspiring to, while indulging in a little salacious storytelling of monks behaving badly along the way. How can we be good if there’s no such thing as good and evil? Is Zen amoral? Can a hypocritical, highly flawed, and all too human tradition somehow still be a font of perfect virtue? Find out here!

Gyokei talks us through the spirit (and specifics) of… ‘Dhaaarmaaa Commbaaat!’ from the lion’s roar, to the three foot long venomous viper of truth, to how to wield the swift and silent sword of compassion ourselves. Can we learn to intuitively be what the moment needs without having to satisfy our own emotional appetites? Is compassion always kind? Is it ok to feel good when we sit?? And wait, why does Zen always get up so early and is that a hard and fast rule??? Find out here!

Dave gifts us with a deep dive into generosity in the first on a new series on the paramitas, aka the six perfections, aka the six things that all good Buddhas have gotten really really good at to get them where they are. What is the spirit of giving in Buddhism? How can we do our part to keep the great river of resources flowing for everyone? And how do we handle greed and jerkiness in others without turning into the sort of person we were all up in arms about in the first place? Find out here!

Founding ACZC resident Curtis gives us an impassioned exhortation to the recipe for a life well lived - clarity, purpose, & joy. Is clarity really the path of least resistance and if so, why is it so often hard to see? Is it possible to not have purpose? Is there a fool proof trick to always hitting the payout on the slot machine of joy in every moment??

https://www.gofundme.com/f/young-cancer-warrior-loses-dad

Gyokei discusses alignment, blockages, and the prickliness that comes from trying to put our own ideals on a world that might already have a few ideas of its own. Can we unblock ourselves from the limits of our own best intentions? Can we find a well adjusted place for our rebellious and independent spirits in the greater whole? Is it our job to go out there and spread the dharma or can we really just sit back and let the dharma come to us?? Find out here!!

Dave shares a favorite legend about a cocky young monk crossing a river and a moment of self confidence so powerful we’re still talking about it a thousand years later. In a practice that glorifies not knowing, how do we know when we know something for certain? What is self confidence in a tradition so obsessed with no-self? Can we look up to our teachers without getting let down, or is the goal of self actualization to not need other people at all? Find out here!

Jitsujo, University of the West Buddhist Chaplaincy department Chair, resident priest and preceptor at Zen Center of Los Angeles, and long time friend of the sangha, generously joins us for a raw and revealing talk about rage, compassion, wisdom, the limitations of each of those grand notions, and finding the balance in the baseline that underlines it all. What causes good teachers to go bad? What do we do with our rage and where does it go when it goes away? How do we ask for help from heavenly beings when we’re not fully sold on believing in them in the first place? Find out here!

Dave returns with another practical probe into Buddhist basics - this week, the Five Skandhas, aka Buddha’s classic formulation of what makes us us and reality (seem) real that might even offer us a little bit of free will and agency in said reality (free will not guaranteed). Is holding onto blame ever an accurate and/or helpful view? Do our Zen teachers need therapy and/or do our therapists need a little zazen? Are leaf blowers part of the problem or as they the whole solution?? Find out here!

Long time sangha friend Ish brings us the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here while we just maybe learn something about those things for ourselves. From atheist upbringings as a skater kid in the city to becoming an artist and embracing the meaningful meaninglessness of Zen, Ish relatably reminds us how to keep faith in not being sure what’s left to believe in. Is feeling inspired a help or a hindrance for creativity? Can we be ok with not understanding without just giving up? Is ‘being present’ just one more spiritual ideal to shoot for or is there something here we can rely on even in the face of the most certain uncertainties?? Find out here!

Dave gets down to brass tacks basics with a deep dive into the Triple Treasures, aka the Three Returns, aka Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. Can we get meaning out of a religion that isn’t willing to give us anything to believe in? How much is too much practice for lay practitioners, and how little is too little? How do we handle troubling truths, tricky teachings, and problematic people in the sangha? Can we ever actually be alone, and can we ever truly meet anyone else?? Find out here!

Sara sends us a dispatch from her post Zen Center exploits and dabbles in some serious storytelling with The Original Adventures of Herman the Worm Boy (as delightful as they sound) and the never ending quest for the One Mind with our old friend Huangbo. How do we take our practice out of the Zen Center and into to the real world? And what is this “real” world anyway? Is there such a thing as honest storytelling? And how DO we explain our Zen hobby to our friends and family if they ask?? Find out here!

In a flash, Subhuti understands everything, and in a flash Buddha pulls the rug out from him (and us!) and frees him from his own enlightenment. Join us as Jason bravely (and expertly) takes us into an epic chapter of the Diamond Sutra where we learn what exactly holds us back, how to free ourselves from it, and how get over ourselves once we manage that. Plus! The Buddha regales us with tales of his past lives cavorting with concubines and tangling with kings and his own pesky feelings. Is it possible to free ourselves of our own perceptions? Is it advisable? Is anger a choice? And is it sometimes a necessary one? What is the prescribed antidote to the three poisons and where can we get ourselves some? Find out here!

Dave takes a practical look at desire and how to work with it in real world terms, while also trying to figure out why people started treating monks as ceremonial objects, whether or not they warranted it, and why group chanting is such great fun. Can you trust someone who doesn’t want anything from you? What do we do when the biggest enemy we face is ourselves? What is the fool proof way to get what we want 100% of the time? Find out here!

Special guest Reverend Shumyo Kojima, Abbot of Zenshuji Temple (North America’s oldest Zen temple (100 years and counting!)) joins us for a talk about learning to love your stress and enjoy your enemies, with colorful stories (metaphors maybe?) of catfish, eels, outhouses, and bringing the stinky and sacred together in the singularity of a bow. Is stress really the key to health and happiness? Is being weak actually a benefit to all beings? Are good and bad any more real than Santa Claus? Is there a purpose to purpose?? Find out here!

Tasked with helming ACZC for the summer practice period, Henry boards a train and heads west for his date with destiny. Does Zen center life actually bestow us with its promised perfections? Is it possible to waste time when time is already everything? How can we uphold the great wisdom of this tradition when we’re not so sure we measure up to such a thing? Find out here!

Our long wandering resident priest returns from his stint in Japan with tales of monkly mayhem in the monastery. Did they really beat the self out of him, or just grind it deeper? Is traditional monastic training a test of enlightenment or merely endurance? Is there a method to this madness or has it all just been one continuous mistake lost in translation?? Find out here.

On some level its a privilege and an honor to have a community relying on you. And on some level its like goddamn it, they’ve got me.” - Sara Campbell

Sara bids farewell to her tenure as an ACZC resident and seasonal caretaker some reflections on her years as a live-in zennie and a reading from Norman Fischer on the stages of monastic life. Was it all worth it? Is residential practice the one way ticket to enlightenment? Or a convenient way to burst your bubble on all such notions? Can we have spring flowers without the cold dead winter? Find out here.

Helena tells stories of Zen, parenting, multitasking, and a history of being half assed at work until a job came along where failure was no longer an option. Along the way we get choice selections from Dogen about the Three Minds of a good cook. Does our work need purpose to be worthwhile? And what is that supposed to look like? Did these celibate monks have any wisdom for the busy parents among us? Find out here!

Emily gets brass tacks practical with a walk through Dogen’s best advice for all the working stiffs out there on not only how to get through your work day, but maybe even finding the joyful, nurturing, magnanimous mind of everything by building temples from ordinary greens and working like your head is on fire. Why are bad days and bad bosses the best opportunity to end all suffering everywhere? Is it true that the only way to follow the Way is to stop getting our way? What are Dogen’s favorite ways to prepare mushrooms?? Find out here!!

Dave dives back in to Dogen’s enigmatic Mountains and Rivers Sutra while looking at what  America might be looking for in a rational religion, and whether or not Zen could fit the bill. What is the half of the dharma that stays even when everything ends? Is it possible to appreciate what actually makes us awesome? Is it rational to think that the world is ultimately rational?? Find out here!

Jason skillfully navigates us through the perfect paradoxes of the Diamond Sutra, and we all get a little nerdy on some fascinating (if a little odd) Buddhist Cosmology. What exactly are the 32 marks of a buddha, the three bodies of a Buddha, and the six perfections. Why does none of it matter to our practice and why is it helpful to hear anyway? And are we truly living in the degenerate age, and if so why is that the best time to practice?? Find out here!

They say you don’t choose your family, and in Zen we don’t pick our sanghas. Gyokei discusses what it means to practice with a sangha, why it can be the trickiest and most rewarding of the big three jewels (Buddha, Dharma, & Sangha), and the kind of authentic bonding that only happens when we don’t get to choose who we sit next to in the zendo. In a culture of transactional communities, what are we getting out of this one? How can we tell the difference between being taken advantage of in a community, versus doing our part to a greater whole? And how do we run a successful operation when the operating plan is to let people screw it up? Find out here.

Dave delves into Keizan’s Three Levels of Zazen and tries to figure out whether the “witness mind” is an accurate description of the mind of zazen, and if not, what is? What’s the difference between ordinary and superior meditation? Do we have a choice in which one we sit and would it matter if we did? And how are  we supposed to entertain ourselves in zazen when the things we’ve been wrestling with up and fly away one day? Find out here

Emily unpacks the perfection of paradox that is Non Dualism, Zen’s crowning ideal that it will never live up to no matter how hard it tries. How is it possible to stop our mind if it’s impossible to stop our mind? Is it true that everything we do is ultimately zazen, and if so why do we still have to sit? Does the sangha actually have hot non dual tips for us on mastering dinner party small talk and landing a relationship?? Find out here!

Crowd favorite Helena returns with all the dharma she dug up in her time as ACZC’s gardener, along with some words of wisdom from Dogen’s “Insentient Preach the Dharma. Are our plants and inanimate objects really whispering sweet truths to us like they did to Buddha under that tree? Is this a classic tale of setbacks in practice that lead to enlightening revelation? Or is it the story of a feeble-minded woman facing the horrors of old age and death who gets tricked into paying to do yard work by a somewhat boring cult (her words not ours…)?? Find out here!

Dave celebrates the lazy days summer by trying to cure a decade long writer’s block with the help of The Artist’s Way and some sassy ancient commentary on the Xinxinming that sounds uncannily like our own inner critics. What is Dave’s one trick to always be good at zazen? Why is Zen always telling itself it’s doing it wrong? And when we listen to those inner critics, do we get fueled by the friction or just tired and uninspired?? Find out here!

Jason unpacks the meaning behind the Buddha’s beguiling nickname while reminding himself exactly why he does want to sit zazen during a hard month when the last thing he wants to do is sit down and do his zazen. Why did Buddha promise we all get to share his accomplishment while also promising it was something we could never know? What did he mean he’s the one who comes and goes, and why does our desire to sit come and go so easily when we need it most? Where is this zazen train even going and could we get off that train even if we wanted to?? Find out here!

Emily throws us a bonfire of the attachments with a pointed talk on single minded effort. With readings from Shunryu Suzuki’s Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind we take a good hard look at all the sticky sweet talking memories and ideas that keep us from fully doing the things we do. Is there a healthy place for praise and blame in our endeavors? Are we entitled to the fruits of our own actions? Is Emily’s casserole just too mouth wateringly delicious to burn up in the flames of enlightenment?? Find out here!!

As a retreat goes off the rails, Dave and the sangha try to find their faith in a practice built on the promise that everything is ultimately fleeting, empty, and full of suffering. Plus! A dramatic reading of Red Pine’s lithe (and downright Seussian) rendition of the Faith in Mind inscription. Can we rely on a tradition built on the premise that nothing is reliable? When we face the wall in zazen, can we trust that the zendo has our backs? Who do we trust more, the heart or the mind and is there actually a difference?? Find out here!!

Long time friend of the sangha, Helena Harvilicz gives us a raw, funny, and heartening story of sarcasm and weltschmerz and wanting to make the world a better place with no idea how. Why do moms make such bad nihilists? Is it ok to laugh in the zendo when the voices in our heads are being particularly hilarious? What’s the difference between depression and deciding the world really might be a little disappointing? And can figuring that out help make us a better part of it??  Find out here!

Change is afoot in the Zen world as many sanghas undergo a generational  turnover in leadership and Gyokei has a sweet story to meet the moment of two monks trying to figure out who’s supposed to be steering the ship, and where it’s supposed to be headed. Is looking for meaning in our practice a hindrance, or unavoidable? Is Eastern Buddhism too attached to rigid hierarchies? Is the West too attached to avoiding them?? Find out here!

Dave takes us on a walking tour of space with a slightly nerdy dive into the history of emptiness in Buddhism; what it meant when Buddha first said it, how that changed over time, what it means for us now, and how it can be a superpower for any tradition (or person) that knows how to walk it’s death defying tight rope by simply not seeing it as there in the first place. Did Buddha really mean to say everything is empty? And is that something we’re actually supposed to believe in literally? What is Dave’s secret recipe for the beer float that can liberate all beings?? Find out here.

Tanya generously shares her personal practice story of riding the hamster wheel of personal development through anxiety and neuroses, the practices that work to fight it, and the existential ease of dipping your toes in the ocean of everything that is happy to hold your best and worst moments. Is it possible to fight the fire of anxiety with the fire of focus? Why should we stick around if these Zen talks aren’t making any sense? Is there any freedom to be found in the rigidity of the forms?? Find out here!

Sara takes us on a personal tour of ambition and emptiness, with a first hand account of how teachings on groundlessness do and do not prepare us for a world of gig economies, uncertain employments, and potentially dubious digital windfalls. What good is being grounded? What does it mean to be present for reality in an increasingly virtual world? And when we find ourselves in free fall, is it possible to land in the sky? Find out here!

Dave looks at how to make lasting peace in the world while regaling us with the legend of Dongshan’s ‘Celebration of Silliness’, the week long banquet of delusion Dongshan threw for him and his monks on his death bed. What, if anything, do we owe our friends and families on our way out the great gaping door? Can evil really be destroyed or is it something we’re stuck with? And why are the enlightened out there insisting that they need all of us deluded folks to take care of them? Isn’t that supposed to be their job?? Find out here!

Henry takes us to the Christian plains of the midwest to regale us with a personal practice story of finding yourself somewhat alone in your own weird wildness only to find the odd ways that singular experience can hone and flourish itself when shared with a community. How is poetry both a boon and a hindrance to practice? What do we gain and lose when we sit together versus sitting alone? How is it that a practice that preaches ultimate oneness can often leave us isolated and alone? Find out here!

And then one day you might realize that even the highest level teachings aren’t enough. But you have to get them before you can realize that they’re not enough.“ - Dave Cuomo

History of Zen returns with a tale of dharma combat that's going to have eon long implications. Two epic frenemies are busy inventing modern koan and shikantaza practice while China is busy putting itself back together, only to promptly fall apart again. What are the roots of modern koan practice, and is ACZC doing them wrong? Why does Zen have a “right” answer for everything, and how did their philosophies get so tight? Was Zen designed to be secular or religious, and does it believe its own PR? Find out here!

Sara reflects on some challenging lines from Shitou to work through medical troubles in her family, while Shunryu Suzuki and Huangbo shed some light on the dawns and midnights of life that always seem to go hand in hand. How does practice help in the times we’re most reticent to sit down to it? Does insight best arrive in a flash or a slow dawning drip of emotion? Can 1000 year old poetry offer any cool comforts in times of crisis? Find out here.

Dave gets grumpy about getting to live his dream life and reads letters from the sangha about why he shouldn’t go to Japan for monastic training, plus a reading from Dainin Katagiri’s “You Have To Say Something” along with a deep dive into all the valid reasons not to trust ourselves, our teachers, or the systems we work in. Is formal Zen training just one more toy to let go of, or is it the place we go to let go of our idealistic toys? Can we learn from systems and selves we don’t entirely trust? When the moment arrives, should we stand strong and stare the great moose of truth in the face, or is the real wisdom to bravely run away?? Find out here!

Bitter, salty, spicy, sour, or sweet - Gyokei gives us a subtle and patient recipe for finding our own true original flavor that brings out the best in all the rest. What melodies are waiting to sing to us in uncomfortable silences? Can we learn to trust the mind that lies behind our own self esteem? And is it ever really possible to taste what truly makes us special?? Find out here.

Emily regales us with the story of a young girl growing up wanting to think she was something special, only to find herself one of eight billion people thinking much the same thing. Reading from Shunryu Suzuki’s classic Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, this is the real life story of realizing all the anxiety and effort it takes to keep an ego afloat, and then learning to wield a wonderful power that is nothing special at all. Why is it often so frustrating to watch our friends succeed? If Buddha said we were so perfect just the way we are, why does Zen always seem to be telling us we’re doing it wrong? And if we’re not out there trying to be the best, will we still be any good?? Find out here!

Mountains walk and rivers talk as Dave delves into Dogen’s classic Mountains and Waters Sutra with the help of Shohaku Okumura’s classic commentary on this poetic and profound piece. How is Mahayana Buddhism so unapologetically based on a lie? (#fakebuddhaquotes amiright?). How do we do not understanding? Is turning off your phone during zazen and turning your back on your loved ones a heartless way of turning toward the truth? And why is Zen’s advice about dealing with anger making Dave so angry?? Find out here!

Who’s afraid of the dark?? Just about all of us if we’re being honest. Luckily Jason’s here to shed some light on how to delight ourselves in the dharma of darkness, and why seeing the world in terms of good and bad is not ultimately a good thing. How can we take comfort in calamity? Why do Zen masters want to scold us for being good students? And is it possible to be an Angry Buddha without causing (too much) trouble?? Find out here!

Dave rings in the New Year with a rousingly rambling speech about presence and why yours matters so much while trying to inspire us all with a faith built on a shining bright lie. Why does recognizing the illusion of time make its passing all the sweeter? Is it possible to meditate our worries away, and why is it sometimes more enlightening not to? What happens when you cross no holds barred start up culture with a thousand year old dumpling stand? Find out here!!

Long time sangha friend Robert brings us the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here with a fascinating discussion of sound and body, sonic meditations, and a personal look at how going deep on deep listening might help keep us on (or off) the path. What symphonies do we hear when the music stops? Why is ritual so satisfying even for the non believers? And why do we find ourselves laughing when life most makes us want to cry?? Find out here!

Erik brings us a special holiday talk dedicated to all the loners out there and everyone else who could benefit from getting in touch with their inner existential rhino - including a dramatic reading of the rhinoceros sutra itself. Why does Buddha want us to be so lonely? Can we every truly be alone? Can we ever not be?? Find out here!

It’s really healthy for us to venerate and revere these figures. It just doesn’t seem all that healthy for a human to actually sit in that role.” - Dave Cuomo

Join us for a madcap romp to the thrilling conclusion of The Vimalakirti Sutra - Buddha and Vimalakirti square off for an epic confrontation Beyond Comprehension, Vimalakirti holds a universe in his hands like a bouquet of flowers for his loved ones (us!), Shariputra finally gets some answers, Buddha regales us with stories of when he was a young upstart Bodhisattva just as confused as the rest of us, and even the God Indra makes a cameo to endorse the whole affair. What actually is a Buddha after all? Why doesn’t the sutra want us to believe it’s own bulls**t?? What are our practice, dreams, ambitions, and lives about if in the end they’re not about us at all??? Find out here!

Soto Zen in North America turned 100 years old a couple weeks ago with a big Jukai celebration and Gyokei brings us the scene report from the wide world of Zen while reflecting back on a century of continuous practice here. Is American Zen all grown up and ready to move out of the parents house? Which lineage has the best jokes and makes the best drinking buddies? And what exactly do you have to do to get kicked out of Soto Zen?? Find out here!!

On the first of our talks recorded live from the Fall Retreat, Sara takes us on a personal walking tour of personal ambition. How do we balance the desire to make something of ourselves while still staying true to the spirit of Zen? Along the way we get some Alan Watts hot takes, and a deep dive into Dogen’s “It” (Inmo). What is it? How do we fit into it? And how exactly do we get up off the ground by using the sky, Dogen?? Find out here!!

Dave unpacks everyone’s favorite Zen quote of ultimate exoneration, Dogen’s “One Continuous Mistake,” and unveils the brand new ACZC logo about said Great Mistake. Along the way Dave opens up about his curiosities and concerns about his upcoming training in Japan, and how his military upbringing both did and did not prepare him for this life of tough love compassion. Is no one really judging our practice? Is Zen really encouraging us to always get it wrong? What is the one fool proof way to mastering perfect bread baking??? Find out here!

Vimalakirti opens up a portal to a sweet smelling alien pure land to order some lunch, while those blissed out beings get curious about what it’s like to have problems and pop over to our little Saha World to see what life is like on the wrong side of the karmic tracks. Will they be able to appreciate the gritty realism of our little corner of paradise? Why is our Buddha so hard on us with all of his tough love truths when other Buddhas teach just by smelling good? Is our messy world a practice opportunity or a perfection we’re just too ignorant to see? Will Shariputra and the gang remember to get the recipe for the best rice in the galaxy? Find out here!!

Altruism, we all know it’s good, but why does it often feel so oppressive? Or, is it even possible to not live a life of service if we’re being really honest about what we’re doing here?? Digging into the classic Shushogi (a refreshingly intelligible extract from Dogen’s Shobogenzo) Gyokei digs us up some answers from the rural farm villages of his youth, to the ghosts, zombies, and other evils of today that just might be the perfect gateways to our own liberation. 

It feels ordinary, and exciting, because only good can can come out of that sense of boring - showing up and hanging out without a lot of expectations.” - Heather Ross

In our ongoing series where brave sangha members bring us the story of what they’re doing and why they’re  here, Heather takes the hot seat to tell us all about ambition and being special, wanting to be special, the beauty of boredom, and the quest for the coolest Zen center that led (for better or for worse) to us, the most avowedly disappointing place in LA. What makes some people stick around for a practice predicated on disappointment, when the normal reaction would be to go find the fun? Is the pursuit of special the dominant religion in our culture? What exactly is the beauty of boredom?? Find out here!

The beautiful thing about retreat is that it’s not really about your experience. You go up there, go into silence, try not to be late for things, stumble along, do the ceremonies and chants, eat in silence together... The whole thing takes on the character of its own living organism. It's a small way of tasting what it's like to live without it being about you, what you're getting out of it, or what you're going through. That's letting go of the ultimate attachment, the ultimate illusion. That's the benefit.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave gives a pep talk for retreat (and zazen in general) with a brass tacks talk on meditation. Armed with a smattering of his favorite meditation instructions throughout history, we look at their evolution from precise and seemingly sensible earlier teachings, to the perfectly inexpressible of later Zen. How do we make sense of a practice that’s trying to free us of the need to make sense? What do they mean by reversing the direction of our hearing inward? Or as Manjushri so poetically puts it, how do we stand up in empty space when space disappears and the bubble bursts?? Find out here!!

It’s a call and response. It’s having a trust that they're not trying to kill us inside. But actually it’s a way to strengthen that uniqueness that's embedded in us - but a uniqueness that does not confront or contradict what is.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei digs deep practical truths out of the meeting of Eastern Collectivist culture and Western Individualism. Revealing and poetic metaphors ensue! Is it possible to fully be our own unique piece of the puzzle while still fitting into the big beautiful picture?? Find out here!

Dave takes us on an autobiographical tour of zazen to try to figure out if ACZC has a house style (spoiler alert: yes we do!), and if so, should we (spoiler alert: does it matter?)?? Is there a right way and a wrong way to teach Zen? If we throw practitioners into the deep end of emptiness on day 1 are we setting them up to sink or swim?? Is there a reason this sangha is such good company, or did we just get lucky?? Find out here!!

You’re busy, we’re busy, Erik’s busy… which becomes the perfect opportunity for a delightfully lighthearted meta commentary on how we deal with overwork, burnout, trying too hard, and running ourselves ragged trying to clean the corners of our already spotless minds. Shouldn’t a book literally called “The Book of Serenity” offer some relief from our stress? What do they mean there’s “someone who’s not busy” and can we copy their notes? Are two moons better than one??? Find out here!

Birth & death, blame or blessings, life or liberation?? In this epic stand alone chapter of the Vimalakirti Sutra, Dave takes us on a walk through Non Duality in Buddhism, as poetically descried by the great Bodhisattvas (with a little commentary help from the also great Norman Fischer). Is everything really all one? What does it even mean to say that? Can us puny mortals experience such a thing? Is Non Duality just another heady philosophical wormhole or is there something to it that can actually transform our lives in this mundane workaday world we all know and love? Find out here! 

Is it possible to be good at this practice? It is possible to be good at life? Would we really be better off if we were? Emily continues her deep dive into Shunryu Suzuki’s foundational “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” with the classic parable of the four horses of Zen - the best, the best of the worst, and all those in between. Which one are we? Why are these Zen masters always so excited about making mistakes? What’s so great about being bad?? Find out here!

Who’s actually driving this car? Is anyone really steering the ship?? If we are not our thoughts, then who’s making our choices, and do we have any agency in that? Dave looks at a history of classic (and lovely) Zen writings on host and guest, little-self/big-self, and all the space in between to try to get us some answers.

Erik takes a loving look at the cold hard truth that this might be as good as it gets. Is the world a good place at heart? Or is it as inherently corrupt as it seems? Buddhism says both! So what should we believe? Is it better to challenge negative beliefs or celebrate them? Is there an outlook that can help make the world a better place, and is that the point? Find out here!

In the culminating thesis of the sutra, our great bodhisattvic heroes Vimalakirti and Manjushri celebrate the irascible and irreverent with a whole hearted endorsement of the path of the Wrong Way and the heavenly delights of hell while Mahakasyapa laments the great disappointment of his own enlightenment. Is this why we can’t have nice things? Would we actually be content if we did get all those nice things? Does being good ultimately do anyone any good?? Find out here!

Sara shares with us the enlightening existential crisis of her wayward mind which, according to our forbears, is the essential mind of practice. How did we get here and why do we keep coming back? Why does this path turn out to be for some but not for others?? What’s the difference between going through the motions, and the embodiment of no mind?? Find out here!!

A beginner who’s been been beginning for a long time takes a seasoned look the Beginner’s Mind with a series on the book that began it all - Shunryu Suzuki’s "Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind." This week! What is the Big Mind and how hard should we work to to find it? How much effort should we put to into our zazen, and how does effort even work in a goalless practice? How do we get to clarity of mind and what does such a thing even mean?? Find out here!

My actual hot take on everyone's politics is, if you've already sat down and shut up for a half hour today, whatever else you want to say is fine. And then I might even want to listen to you." - Dave Cuomo

Dave regales us with the story of that time Buddha juggled betrayal, assassination attempts, war, and intrigues of all kinds (nbd) in a look at how Buddhism does (and does not) deal with political engagement. Does ultimate reality care about the mundane affairs of our dusty little world? Do we have an obligation to take a stand on things that matter, or is sitting all that really matters?? Which speaks louder, the bellows of the Buddha or the thunderous roar of stillness?? Find out here!

Dave regales us with the famously wise and whimsical Goddess chapter of the Vimalakirti Sutra. A sneaky snarky goddess has been hiding out listening in on our heroes, and now she’s ready to reveal herself and indulge in some no holds barred dharma combat. Can this proto feminist icon show our heroes the way? What do identity politics mean to a being born of no self? Can hatred be a tool of liberation?? Is it always attachment to want nice things? Or is the real attachment to push them away?? Find out here!

“Not knowing is nearest!” Erik takes us on a personal pilgrimage to the pure land as it exists right hear and now, with a survey of the practices, historicity, personal experience, and entangling relationship Pure Land Buddhism has to the Zen we all know and love. Do we need to believe in a practice for it to work? Is it Zen to do practices that make us feel better? Would it matter if it wasn’t?? Is it possible that the “place of precious things” is far closer than we ever could have imagined?? Find out here!

But I'm still pondering. I don’t hundred percent agree with this dying process I experienced, although it’s always been a part of Soto Shu practice. So it remains not as an answer, but as a question.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Gyokei discusses the pickles and salads of practice, the bright vibrant greens and the withered wisdoms that develop over a lifetime of letting go. How do we maintain constancy in our practice and what happens if we do? What is the aspiration that drives us to dive head first into the murky waters of a realized life, sink or swim? What is left of our selves when our self lets go of us?? Find out here!

Dave takes a look at a modern Zen conundrum: is a Zen center a place of equal practice and training for all, or is it a service job with necessary hierarchies and distinctions? Is our current model of importing traditional monastic practice really applicable to the busy lay practitioner of today? Is it possible to share the dharma to everyone without watering it down?? Find out here!

Mota open up and regales us with the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here in a raw and revealing account of the traumatic injury that threatened to derail the life he thought he was living. Can sitting up help bring some balance to the world when it goes bottoms up? Is it possible to overcome our addiction to ambition as the meaning of our lives? Can sitting help bridge the gap between being and doing? Find out here!

If you’re able to walk into a room with a tickle of anxiety and self doubt, next to some hope and aspiration, all cradled in the big old thromb of emptiness that animates everything, then you can actually connect with people. Maybe.” - Dave Cuomo

Dave regales us with the wild and wacky wizardly hijinks of Chapter 6 of the Vimalakirti Sutra. This week the assembly needs to find itself some chairs, so Vimalakrit busts out his portal gun to go looking for the Greatest Chairs in the Universe, which turn out to be 84,000 feet tall! Can the lesser monks among us measure up to the seats of the great bodhisattvas (metaphor alert…)? And how are we to understand the bodhisattva’s great magic known as “Beyond Comprehension” (irony alert…)? And if, as the sutra says, every jerk in the universe is actually just a bodhisattva in disguise trying to test and train us, what is the actual answer to the test?? Find out here!

On day two of our Mt Baldy retreat, Gyokei opens himself up for Daisan - a revelatory round of public practice discussion where he fields all of the sangha’s burning questions such as: How do we find meaning in our worldly work? How is North American Zen developing differently from its Japanese roots? How do we raise kids as Zennies without them growing up to hate us and Zen in the process? And can we get Gyokei to spill the beans on his own spiritual awakening? Find out here!

Gyokei returns from a nationwide tour of the post-pandemic Zen Center scene with an impassioned (and important) message of unity and diversity for all the far flung sanghas of right here and now - from the pure diligent practice of Dogen, to the welcoming warmth of Keizan, and all the many myths, characters, and bodhisattva spirits in between. What do old world and new world Zen have to learn from each other (literally everything...)? What is the hairsbreadth of difference between free giving and self sacrifice (universes!)?? And are we really just here to make friends (absolutely!!)??? Find out here!

Dave brings us a fresh original translation of Shitou’s timeless, “Straw Hut Song” - a beautiful and deceptively simple piece that moves from a humble nap in the hay to the boundless fringes of everywhere and nowhere at the drop of a line. Why can’t Shitou just live and love like normal people, and for better or for worse, why is it so easy for us to relate? Is his ancient wisdom something he can teach us, or something we already know? As translators, can we be faithful to our forbears as we dust off their lines, and still make their songs sing?? Find out here.

John shares the raw unvarnished story of what he’s doing and why he’s here, from growing up in the triumphal certainty of the Mormon Church, to a kindly German Buddha compassionately bursting that bubble with the liberating chaos of uncertainty. What do we do when no one is telling us what to do? Is Zen a suitable religion for the irreligious? And just how much meditation does it take to master levitation?? Find out here!

In pt 4 of our Vimalakirti series , the great bodhisattva Manjusrhi finally meets the enlightened laymen Vimalakirti himself for some playfully profound dharma combat as they tackle the big questions; why do we have trouble? How should we care for other people when they have trouble?? How should we care for ourselves when we have trouble??Can we really rid ourselves of all pain, and if so, should we??? Let’s find out.

Gyokei takes us on a personal tour of zazen from the monastic perspective; from the enlightenment of certain failure, to the raw self underneath we may or may not be ready to meet. How is zazen supposed to wake us up when it’s always putting us to sleep? Is it possible to be ambitious in practice without being goal driven? Do we really need rough rude awakenings to drop off the self or is there a kindler gentler way? Find out here!

In true Bodhisattva fashion, Emily shares a recent loss and takes the opportunity for a heartfelt look into Buddhist teachings on grief. Can a practice of non attachment offer any solace for the attachments we don’t want to let go of? Are the enlightened masters of old too enlightened to offer anything more than the cold comfort of dispassion? Is there good in grief? Let’s discuss.

Dave takes a Zen look at making choices - what are wise discernments and what is the delusion of discrimination? Along the way we get a dramatic reading of the Xinxin Ming, Sengcan’s classic treatise on choice and non duality, and some practical advice on how to deal with the annoying DJ in the apartment upstairs. 

Jason takes us on a delightful walk through the life and work of Ryokan, the famous wandering poet monk of Edo Japan, while holding up Ryokan’s poetry as a mirror to reflect on how Zen has informed his own work as a professional artist, and how practice can both fuel and confound the work of any creative. Along the way we get practical advice for the Zen artist in all of us, poetry battles between brothers, trippy verses written on skulls, and what happens when a lover leaves Ryokan’s best texts on read. 

In the thrilling conclusion to his Yogacara series, Dave wraps it all up with some epic poetry from Vasubandhu and a brief overview of how exactly all this theory helps, what exactly it helps us do, and why none of that is the point since all of it was just an illusion anyway. Why do Zennies take themselves so seriously when everything is ultimately imaginary? How is being depressed the cure for depression? And what is the fundamental essence of text anxiety?? Find out here!

Anything can happen at any time. 

The message is to not believe anything. To just be cautious. And to take everything with a grain of salt.” - Erik Andersen

Erik brings us the story of one little phrase that can make all the difference in the universe - Fayan’s “A hairsbreadth of difference between heaven and earth.” One thought, one word, one moment, how can we change the world in the space of a hair? How can we ever truly meet someone if the space between us is world’s away? Find out here!

In pt 3 of his thrilling Vimalakirti Sutra series, Dave regales us with the story of the time our titular hero, the enlightened layman Vimalakirti, sought out each of Buddha’s best monks to explain to them exactly how they’re doing it all wrong. What does true quiet sitting look like? How do we attain Nirvana without turning our back on desire? What’s the difference between evil and tragedy? And does being good ultimately do anyone any good? Find out here!

ACZC’s own Leon Sandler takes the hot seat to tell us the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here. From Denver to Istanbul, spanning continents and lifetimes, Leon spins us a story of the great open question: what does it mean to live a normal life in a practice that deconstructs any such notion into the ridiculousness of oblivion? Find out here!

Gyokei returns to the hot seat with an in depth and personal look at precepts and Jukai (lay precept ceremony). From the historical and cultural roots, to his own experiences growing up Zen in all its childhood innocence and angry adolescence, this is a story of making friends with your shadow side and tripping over the truth until you finally fall face first into it.

In our latest installment of Zen Story Time, Dave brings us part 2 of the Vimalakirti Sutra. Here we meet our eponymous hero, Vimalakirti, the enlightened laymen who spends his days at the gambling halls and his nights at the bars and brothels - a bodhisattva so free of attachments that he has no qualms spending his life immersed in them (only for the good of all beings of course…). Will he be able to bring the light of wisdom to the darkest corners of the world? Find out here!

Jordan regales us with a warm and insightful love letter to zazen, as part of our series where long time sangha members (like you!) tell us the story of what they are doing and why they are here. What happens when all you want is to enjoy a nice day at the park, and next thing you know you're on a years long quest to unravel the great mysteries of who and what we are just to be able notice a nice moment sitting under the trees? How do we make peace with the world that's rattling around inside our own heads? Is it possible to become a better shiner you without digging ourselves deeper into the great pits of desire?? Find out here!

Dave brings us an optimistic look at the afflictions - greed, hatred, delusion, anger, guile (a personal favorite), arrogance, laziness, and all the rest. How do me make allies out of our restless shadow sides and finally have a chance at whatever they mean by “free will”? How can we learn to read a room by taking a good hard look in the mirrors of our own minds? And if we really want to be our best selves, should we be going to therapy or doing zazen? (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes!) Find out here!

Emily shares with us Dogen's bright and clear treatise on fundamental self worth, "Brightness." What does Zen mean with woo woo sounding words like 'Buddha's light?' and how is that supposed to apply to us? And where does the light go when everything looks dark?? Find out here!

Sara shares her experiences with Master Clown (yes, that’s a thing!) Moshe Cohen’s “Levity of Pause” workshop, all about the intersection of Zen and clown. Join us as she helps us bring a little humor to our stodgy old zazen and, if we're lucky, maybe poke a few holes in the ridiculousness of the absurd certainties we call life.

In an in depth and personal look at one of Yoagacara’s infamously nerdy lists, Dave brings us a talk of sweet cringey goodness and all the things we love to hate, aka The Beneficial Factors. How do we convince a cynical mind to open up and see the light (patiently…)? And what is happiness really (pure empty space!)? Find out here!

In a totally timely New Year’s talk, Dave brings us a dramatic reading of “The Time Being,” Dogen’s classic treatise on time and reality and where exactly we fit into all that. What is time (us!)? What does it mean (everything!)?? And what are we supposed to do with it in practice (keep doing that...)??? Also, bonus! Special sangha and center announcements toward the end of the talk.

This is emotional liberation, emotional freedom. People get discouraged in Zen for not getting things or not understanding it. A lot of people think that they just don't get it and move on to other things.

You have to be okay with sometimes not getting it. That’s a good thing here." - Erik Andersen

In an embodiment of true Zen wisdom, Erik regales us with a koan that he can’t answer, and answers it with a talk on how to answer the unanswerable. Is the world a place of good or a place of evil? Does the joy outweigh the suffering? Is there an answer to such a question, and how are we supposed to respond if there isn’t? Find out here!

Dave dives into some sangha story time with The Vimalakirti Sutra in part 1 of a new chapter by chapter series on this most entertaining of Sutras. In pt 1 we take a hard honest look at two questions; how did Buddha turn the world into an enlightened paradise, and how can Buddha call this messed up world an enlightened paradise? What do we do with toxic relationships and why do we find them so entertaining? Are we ultimately at fault for all the crap in the world? And who do we ultimately get to blame for everything? Find out here!

In a special Rohatsu evening talk, Dave celebrates with a little story time, bringing us accounts of Buddha’s enlightenment from the mystical, to the stary eyed, to the time Dogen stepped on a turd named Sakyamuni Buddha and all was revealed. Why does Buddha think his enlightenment included us, and why should his nice little moment still matter to us now?  Find out here!

Kill your idols! Kill the Buddha. In a timely and highly inspiring talk, Emily takes on the case of the late great master Linji’s advice to “Kill the Buddha, kill the patriarchs, kill your parents and attain liberation!” It’s the great Zen-Punk exhortation to let go of everything you know about what we’re doing and who we’re doing it for. Who can we have faith in when there is no self and no one outside the self? Who are we ultimately doing any of this for?? Find out here!

Dave walks us through Yogacara’s “Five Omnipresent Factors” - the theoretical underpinning to all of Zen’s deceptively simple instructions for “just sitting,” and just maybe, to reality itself. When we stop worrying about our thoughts and “just pay attention,” what do we end up seeing with all that attention? How do our selves and reality construct themselves at every given moment? Also, bonus round! Should we let our mosquito friends bite us in zazen? And can we do Zen for simple self improvement without accidentally stripping away the illusion of reality as we know it? Find out here!

Live from Mt Baldy, Sara brings us a personal exploration of this year's retreat theme, "World's Created, World's Destroyed," including everyone's favorite koan on the end of the world and what to do about it, plus a lovely reading from Charlotte Joko Beck on the great coal furnace of zazen.

You were like these static things that knew right from wrong and could judge me, and then one day you stopped being that. I realized that you don't know who you are or what you’re supposed to be doing either, and that meant I don't have to know what I am or what I’m supposed to be doing. And now we can all just hang out. It's a way different relationship, a funny relationship, and I like it a whole lot better."

Recorded live from Mt Baldy, Dave Cuomo reads Dogen’s “Space!” and talks emptiness, anxiety, and boundless love, while the sangha debates the best and worst poems to bum out a wedding. 

What I picked up through this monastic life was the freedom from your own preconceptions and notions - the end of enslavement by our own mind, to be free wherever you are.” - Gyokei Yokoyama

Join us as special guest Gyokei Yokoyama of Sozenji temple brings us a highly personal and insightful window into growing up in traditional Japanese Zen Buddhism and monastic training in the rough and tumble world of Eheiji Temple (yes, that Eiheiji!). What do Japanese Zennies really think of us hair brained Westerners taking up the practice? And what is gained and lost in the sometimes harsh realities of institutional Zen? And do we need such harsh lessons to get the fundamental point? (And what is the fundamental point???) Find out here!

I love my crappy bosses for the fact that we shared the same circumstances that conditioned me to resent them and them to find it pleasing to underpay me, and that it's not either of our fault that eons ago the earth came together in a big shattering of star bursts, and now here we are fighting over resources because we're both made of DNA. How can I blame us for being born on a planet like that?

So all we're really saying here is, yup, I live here too, and I love you, because we're in this together." - Dave Cuomo

Dave takes a good hard look at a classic tough love treatise by our great grumpy founder of Zen himself, Bodhidharma. Does "suffering injustice" really mean we're supposed to take crap and like it? Can "seeking nothing" actually help us find joy?? Find out here!

In a very sweet and insightful story hour, our own Leslie Mundy takes the hot seat to regale us with the tale of what she’s doing and why she’s here. From mind altering days in the ‘60s, to the wild world of koan interviews, to our own ACZC Zoomdo, Leslie spins us stories within stories of learning how to sit still in a world that never seems able to for all that long.

In the latest installment of his Yogacara series, Dave takes on the double headed monster, the double edged sword, of Manas - the self consciousness. According to DT Suzuki, It’s the thing that keeps us captive, and the only thing that can set us free. Buddhism says we have no self. Our senses tell us otherwise. Why? What is that self, how did it get there, and do we need it? What’s the difference between healthy self conception and the hindrance of self conceit? And can we ever get to know the sweet taste of fresh air if we’re stuck driving around seeing the world through the gauges of a submarine? Find out here!

I still grieve some of the things that I don't have, but I'm way more able to see beyond them as a result of this practice. And I can be grateful for it. And I can see that my weirdo life has value. But I'm not really the judge of that. That's not up to me. That's bigger than me.” - Sara Campbell

Sara takes us on an intimate personal journey through Genjo Koan, Dogen’s classic poetic piece about a small nonexistent self trying to make its way in a wide world that turns out to be bigger than it could hope to understand. Who are we if we don’t make the conventional life milestones we’d sought to define ourselves by? And how do we let go enough to dive fully into a life that might not be going the way we’d planned? Find out here!

In an ever topical and timely discussion, Emily reads us Dogen’s (in)famous chapters on the perfect practice of washing and going to the bathroom in a talk on purity and impurity, the clean and the unclean, and the bright bathroom mirror that reflects what we truly are as we wash, brush our teeth, and yes, poop the great poop of enlightenment. Do enlightened beings fart like the rest of us? (You betcha!) How exactly does one bathe in enlightenment? (With ease!) And did Yunmen really say that Buddha was a dried s**t stick? (Again, you betcha). Find out here!

Dave brings us a Zen pep talk for hard times with a reading of Dogen’s Ryugen or, The Moaning of Dragons Through Withered Trees, one of Zen’s most poetic and enthusiastic exhortations for giving up and giving in to a universe that just wants to sing it’s song through you. What is there to rely on in a world of emptiness (everything!) And can we still have faith in ourselves in a practice of non self (what’s stopping you)? Find out here!

Dave does his best to shed a little clarity on the classically confusing situation of working with teachers in Zen. What is there to teach when Buddha himself swore there is no dharma and no beings to teach? And given that, how should we Zen students work with our teachers?? And why does Zen suspiciously seem to maintain a rigid hierarchy and organization while telling us constantly that no such thing is necessary and no one should trust it?? Dave brings us answers straight from the mouths of the old masters themselves. But who did they think they were talking to and if we believe them, why would we listen to them?? Find out here.

Sangha favorite Corey Warner tells us the story of what he’s doing and why he’s here. From cavorting with demons in Kansas to trying to find a quiet place to sit zazen on a submarine, Corey treats us to a relatably winding tale of trying to find a stable port to set your zafu. 

Dave continues our dive into Yogacara Buddhism with a deep look at the six senses (all puns intended). It is one of the simplest and most bafflingly stupid ideas ever called a teaching, that we that we see, hear, taste, touch, & think. So why is it so impossible to wrap our minds around what that actually means, and why did the Heart Sutra say that no such thing ever happens? Is it true that we only see what we want, and if so why can’t we see something better?? Find out here!

And now I'm honestly curious and sincerely excited to see what tomorrow morning's sit will be like." - Colin Young

In a meta commentary on on his own personal journey, Colin walks us through the process of writing five drafts for one great talk with insightful comedic commentary and a knack for self inquisitiveness all along the way. What do we do when our life's narrative runs itself out and we realize we might not be so special after all (at least not in the ways we thought...)?? What do we say when words don't work in the ways we think they should?? And while we're at it, why was the pandemic (somewhat awkwardly) such a perfect place for practice??? And in this new land of internet Zen and Zoomdos, if we're not local should we sit with internet superstar sanghas like ACZC, or should we sit with whatever local group is nearby because that's just the right thing to do (spoiler alert, yes & yes! And what was the question again)?? Find out here!

In the thrilling conclusion to her year long ever timely precept series, Emily brings us the one rule (ok, three rules, but also kind of one…) to rule them all, the Three Pure Precepts! As always, it sounds so simple but it’s the gateway to a lifetime and a universe of practice. Luckily Emily is here to guide us with her ever in depth, informative, and personal reckoning with the simple little truths that mean everything. Do we really have to follow the rules of society if we don’t agree with them? Can we actually know the great 'moral rule of the universe' with our humble human brains? And how are we supposed to 'save all beings' when there are so darn many of them (and more being born every day)!! Find out here! 

“The storehouse consciousness is the root of everything. If the whole universe is just your experience, then this is what it's born from. It’s the fountain of everything. Also it's empty and doesn't exist, so don't think it's a thing.” - Dave Cuomo

In part 2 of our ongoing Yogacara series, Dave brings us a mildly nerdy and deeply personal look at the Alaya Vijnana, the storehouse consciousness, the pure innocent empty space of possibility that all of reality is born from. Is it really possible to clean our karma and wake up to something new? Does a practice of no self leave room for us to become a better one?? How do we clean our room when the only world we know is a mess??? Find out here!

Dave takes a look at what Buddhist renunciation means for us 21st century Westerners living lives far removed from the simple forest beggar life Buddha originally recommended. What actually makes us happy and what does it really mean to live "the good life"? Join us as Dave takes us on a journey through the weeds of want with stories of alms offering monkeys, poetry from the first Buddhist nuns, Dogen's monks questioning whether or not this whole monk thing is actually a good idea, Dave's own stories of dumpstered wealth lost and found, and finally Buddha's long lost bossom buddy Epicurus gives us his hot take on what really constitutes a life devoted to pleasure (hint: it's cheaper thank you think).

Ultimately I can't blame anybody else for what I go through because I take it all in through my own filter. I only see what I am willing to see, and only do what I want to do on some level. So when they say the world is “mind only” or “experience only,” to me it's about taking responsibility for my own experience in the only place I’m able to turn to.” - Dave Cuomo  

By popular demand, Dave brings us a new series on Yogacara Buddhism, that simpler-then-it-sounds wealth of Buddhist theory that just might have underlined all of the elegant simplicity of Zen. In pt 1 we look into the background and context of the two purported founders of the movement, Asanga & Vasubandhu, and the high stakes (literally life & death!) world of philosophy & debate that shaped the school they created. Is the world really all in your mind? And what do you mean by mind? And can we ever escape our baggage?? Find out here!

And there's that tricky word. Self. What is self? Is it my memories? No. Is it my thoughts? Is it what I'm saying right now? No. Is it the clothes I'm wearing, this body that I’m in? No, not quite. Then what is it? What's left? That's not self, that's what we truly are. “ - Emily Eslami

Emily brings us a precept, a promise, and gift in her latest installment of her ever timely precept series with an in depth look at the three refuges. What are they (everything!), and what are they a refuge from (everything else??)? And what does it mean to take refuge in them? Find out here! 

Dave brings us a Zen look at love and self care through encounters with the Bodhisattva of Compassion his(or)herself, Avalokiteshvara. Can this magical being really save us from danger and death? Is it compassionate to give people what they want? Does prayer actually work? And does smoking count as self care? Find out here!

Emily takes on the 10th major precept, no disparaging the Buddha, Dharma, & Sangha. Sounds simple right? But of course this is  Zen so nothing is ever so simple (or maybe way simpler than our brains are equipped for…) Why are we told by the old masters that the only way not to abuse the Buddha is by killing him? Why does this dharma talk tell us that dharma isn’t something that can be learned in teachings? And what does sangha even mean if it means everything and everyone? Find out here!

To embrace ignorance is a loving act. And that's why I like Zen. It sounds weird and ironic, but I always think they mean love.” - Dave Cuomo

By popular demand Dave takes a deep dive into delusion and follows up his talk on the 12 Fold Chain with an in depth look at ignorance in Buddhism. What is this great mistake we can't help make that causes the whole world to come into being? And what does Zen mean when they tell us that ignorance is already enlightenment and does Dave have any tips for what to do with that personally?? (Stories yes, no promises on helpful tips...) And bonus round! One deep dark koan, two contemporary Zen masters duking it out in the commentaries. Who will win the great dunce crown of ignorance supreme?? Find out here!

This is why Zen is so weird. We're trying to look at what comes before awareness, and that's hard. It’s really hard to be aware of something that precedes awareness. But not impossible....” - Dave Cuomo

Dave takes us for a freewheeling ride on that big beautiful ferris wheel of life we call samsara, aka The 12 Fold Chain of Dependent Origination. It’s the great pie chart of all reality that Buddha warned us we can either wake up to, or be doomed to repeat over and over again. But do we really want it to end, or can we find a way to make the ride a little less bumpy? How does anything happen and do we actually have any control over it? Is reality just a mistake and would knowing that make any difference?? Does the ACZC sangha want to get down on some seriously nerdy Buddhist theory??? Find out (and let us know) here…

In the latest installment of her ever timely precept series, Emily takes on that molten hot lava of an emotion, anger. What do we experience when we feel it? How can we feel it and not be consumed by it? How can we use it skillfully when we need to? In this inspiring talk she shows how what exists at the bottom of anger is pain. And how sitting with it is to experience the path of the Boddhisatva – and of Zen meditation itself. 

And fringe benefit, you might find yourself a little happier and nicer, your whole life might improve in every way you ever wanted it to. But that's not why we're here, that's not the point of zazen.” - Dave Cuomo

In a wide ranging talk full of surprises and conundrums, Dave delves into Dogen’s Fukanzazengi (Instructions for Zazen) and the older Chinese text that preceded it to answer the question of whether Zen is something that can be taught, or whether it’s something we can only experience. And bonus! In the latter half Dave treats us to his own "What Am I Doing Here" talk as he shares his experience of how he came to Zen and why he's so stuck on it, along with a sincere inquiry into whether it's a practice we can learn or something that has to come and find us when it's ready.

Even your self does not belong to you. You are everything." - Kobun Chino

In the latest installment of Emily’s ever timely precept series, she takes on the eighth precept, "no coveting," ie craving – what it looks like, why we do it, whether we can stop ourselves, and how it turns out that coveting and stinginess are two sides of the same coin after all. What exactly are clinging to when we grasp after those desires, states, and people? And (maybe more concerning) if there is no self, what is there even to cling in the first place?  

The best way to realize the true beauty of Mount Fuji is to actually go climb it. If you do that, the beauty of Mount Fuji as you have known it will disappear. But this does not mean that the true beauty of Mount Fuji has disappeared. The beauty of Mount Fuji is eternal and unchanging. 

When we live with Mount Fuji and breathe with Mount Fuji, we can experience the deep taste of being at one with Mount Fuji. We are already beyond the realm of 'trying to understand.'” - Dainin Katagiri

Dave celebrates the return of in person discussions with reading and commentary on a beautiful piece from Dainin Katagiri on Dogen's "Instructions to the Cook," where Katagiri gives us his unvarnished impressions on his adopted American homeland and why our nation of problems and possibility is such fertile ground for practice. 

And sometimes I walk by and think, "Huh, look at that poo." Maybe I have to scrape some poo off my shoe, and then I walk on, smelling it for a minute, and then smelling flowers on the next block. I'm guessing things go better for everyone when that happens, but I wouldn't really know because I'm not dwelling on it." - Dave Cuomo

 In a podcast exclusive, Dave takes a deep dive into the steaming pile of confusion that is karma. Is the universe a fair place? Is there such a thing as cosmic justice?? And if not should we even bother trying to be good people??? And if someone does poop in the road and no one is there to smell it, what will those flies even greet on their return??? Find out here!

In her ever timely precept series, Emily takes on number seven, no praise or blame! Aka, our consistent habit of comparing to others. Who are we trying to build up when we put down? What are we comparing against? And is it possible to have confidence without falling into pride? A great talk for anyone with superiority or inferiority complexes and everywhere in between (which is to say, pretty much all of us).

Dave delves into Dogen's famous "It" (Inmo) to see if it can offer us a way to pick ourselves up when the world knocks us down. But what is "it??" Some say the universe, some say enlightenment, some say God, while Dogen just says (helpfully as always) that "it" is a "what."  Let's find out what that is...

Emily takes us on a journey through everyone's least favorite precept (/favorite precept to break) - no speaking of past mistakes! You make mistakes, we all make mistakes, so why does Buddhism not want us to talk about them and is there a danger in not doing so? What's really at stake, and if it's so wrong, why does it feel so good to dish a little gossip now and then?? And wait a minute, what does it even mean to make a "mistake" and who really ends up taking the blame when we point the finger??? Let's find out...

In an ever timely topic, Dave brings us a Zen look at patience. What is patience and is that what we're actually learning here? Where are do we find ourselves when whatever we're so urgently waiting for never arrives in the moment we're in?

But we owe it to this great brightness not to run away, to see these moments as they really are. Because if nothing is special that means everything is special.” - Emily Eslami

In her ever timely precept series, Emily takes a deep dive into refraining from intoxicants, from a nice glass of wine over pasta, to blowing your mind over a pile of mushrooms, who do we harm when we try to escape, how much is too much, how strictly do these rules want to be taken exactly, and what even is this bright mind we're so afraid of clouding?? Find out here...

In an epic clash of conflicted compassion, Dave introduces us to the founders of our two main surviving branches of Zen, Rinzai & Tozan (of Soto fame), as these two teachers teach the exact same nothing, in exactly opposite ways. Madcap koans, shocking speeches, & beautiful poetry ensue!

Beyond rote and chore - doing what you've been told - is the freedom to realize the way to cook, letting the ingredients come forward to awaken and nourish, letting yourself come alive to cook, to do something that you've never done before!" - Edward Espe Brown

In a light and fun little talk Dave reads us choice selections from Edward Espe Brown's "No Recipe" and discusses kitchen work and the art of creating sacred spaces as a safe space for screwing up perfectly. 

The only way to tell the truth is to acknowledge that our truth is not completely true.” - Emily Eslami

Emily brings us a full exploration of the fourth precept, No Lying. Sounds simple, but it turns out before we can not lie, we have to know what truth is in the first place! Who are we really lying to when lie, and who do we actually hurt? Who are we ever really speaking to? And speaking of which, what even is language & communication?? Let's discuss...

In a delightfully madcap affair, Erik challenges all those who say that Zen is difficult or enigmatic with a talk on the big question, “How hard is zen??” only to come up with the very Zen answer, “not easy, just the easiest thing you could ever do.” From there we get a whirlwind adventure starting with a two line koan (which he swears his talk will not answer (although we're pretty sure it did)), and then running off into the definitive definition of nirvana, snake oil & delusions, whether it's ok to hate the things we love to hate, and of course those angels of doubt we can have always put our faith in. 

We're not advocating for celibacy or abstinence, We're advocating for awareness; for looking very carefully at yourself and your actions at all times."  - Emily Eslami

In the latest installment of her all encompassing and ever timely precept series, Emily takes on that stickiest and trickiest of precepts - "Not holding excessive desires," aka not misusing sex. But what can we lay people learn about this most seductive of desires from a celibate monastic tradition? Fortunately Emily is here to give us a raw look at the real lives and trials of these monks all while trying to answer the question of what to do with our own desires and how to handle the hurt they might inevitably involve. From Buddhist sex scandals, to the right and wrongs way to show a sex worker your gratitude, to a formerly married monastic couple slipping off in the woods to renew (/test?) their vows right under Buddha's scolding gaze, Emily gives us the full story in a must listen episode for anyone out there who's ever wrestled with any kind of desire. What do we truly want when we want?? Find out here!

Dave brings us the epic tale of Zen's golden age, when the great masters we know and love from the koans could enlighten you with a single well timed word, a shout, a blow from their stick, or a simple lift of an eyebrow. But it turns out this golden age was also a mini dark age! Just as Zen is flourishing, China spends 200 years in the chaos and confusion of a crumbling society. Did Zen have a special answer for these dark times? And why did it flourish so spectacularly while everything else fell apart around it? Can we believe our own legends or it all just clever PR? Let's find out...

In a warm and generous telling, former ACZC resident Wilcox shares the story of what they were doing and why they were here. From a quaker upbringing to aspiring ballet pro, through motherhood, relationships, and all the twists and turns of life, Wilcox gives us a revealing look at how practice deals with trauma, the challenges of sitting when everything gets torn apart, and what might come together when we find our way home to sit in the quiet acceptance of community.

In our ongoing in depth precept series, Emily takes on the second grave precept - No Stealing. By which we mean, is it even possible to steal? What do we have to lose, and what is there that could possibly be taken from us? It's a simple sounding rule with no easy answers... Fortunately Emily is on the case to expertly walk us through all the implications and contradictions, from the basic lessons of who gets harmed when we engage in illicit gain (ourselves of course), to how to completely protect yourself from every thief and burglar out there (see title...). With thousands of years of expert Zen advice and Emily and the sangha's own stories of moral quandaries, gains, and losses, this is the story of our togetherness and our separateness dancing together in the groundless realization that there is nothing but gain where we have nothing to lose.

Dave returns to pickup our storyline to find that almost as soon as Zen had coalesced itself into one cohesive school of Buddhism, Shitou & Mazu come along and split into two separate streams that will run next to each other for the next 1300 years all the way down to today. It's a story of the beautifully boring side of Zen vs the wacky and weird that will become Soto vs Rinzai in later generations. Along the way we see the birth of three stooges Zen in the koans, and get treated to a loving rendition of Shitou's classic poem "Grass Hut Song" about the quiet nothingness warmly embracing everything.

In her ongoing deep dive into the precepts, Emily takes on precept number one - No Killing! Which sounds simple, until she starts walking us through an honest look at the utter impossibility of such a thing.... Fortunately Emily is on the case armed with classic koans and thousands of years of commentary, and a wealth of personal deliberation and confusion one how to live a life without harm in a universe composed of infinite suffering. What do we do if we accidentally step on a bee (relax)? What kind of belief system has breaking the rules built into the rules (this one!)?? How is not being enlightened already not killing (whoa)? And how could we even destroy what we are already part of (exactly!)?? Find out here!

The thrilling conclusion to our two part series on the Vimalakirti sutra! Dave continues the story with the classic goddess chapter, where everyone's favorite no BS goddess gives Sariputra the business for his worst ideas on gender roles and enlightenment. Also, we get Dogen's hot take on the whole sutra, a visit from some benevolent sweet smelling aliens, heavenly take out is ordered, and so much more!